The Ego of Prayer

“I’ve been praying.

I have been praying but it does not seem that my prayers are being heard.

They must be falling on deaf ears, or heaven has shut its gates to my plea.
I am in such need.

I am fearful, scared, and uncertain.


I have fallen to my knees, each and every night.

And asked for guidance, through this difficult time.


I’ve been praying.Lord, please help me.”


You may never want to read my words again, after you read this post.
Just a simple FYI.


I am going to preface this with, I am not condemning prayer.

I am not saying anything of the sort.


PRAYER is POWERFUL.

Prayer is wonderful.

Prayer is NEEDED.


However much like anything though,  it is best when done in perfection,  or as close to it as we can get.


And that is not to say that we cannot be human in our prayer and mess the eff up here and there.


But in order for us to get the answers that we desire,

which is WHY WE PRAY to begin with,

then we MUST do prayer right.


Proper prayer,

is not about the way you fold your hands,

or bow before an alter.


It is not about where you choose to go to pray,

or what faith you choose to follow.


It is not about the forgiveness of sins,

or the asking of such even.


Proper prayer,

is simply about VIBRATION.


When we pray we do so from fear.

We pray from a place of brokenness.

We pray from a belief that we do not have,

that we have done something to deserve this suffering,

that we are not worthy, and MUST ask for forgiveness.

That we must cower before the alter of our choice,

and we must make ourselves small.


We believe that whatever we are needing,

wanting or crying out for is not within our scope.


And so we pray.

We pray for help.


And this sweet one, is not the energy of God. This is not the energy of the divine..

This is not in love or of love.
This sort of prayer is one based in inverted pride.

Therefore ego.


No,this is not how God desires his people to show up.


This is not how we show off God’s power.

Through begging.

Through suffering.

Through bartering.


Eff…. NO!
Proper prayer….

Proper prayer, as stated before is all about VIBRATION.


And vibration starts with your thinking.

Then your feeling.

Yes your emotions that are attached to those thoughts.


Proper prayer should ALWAYS be a prayer of GRATITUDE.


Find gratitude in the things that you have around you,

even if your life is sh*t.


Find gratitude in the life you have been given,

even if you are scared, suffering and lost.


Find gratitude in your struggle,

because it shows you where your work is at.


And that work that it is showing you is nothing more than a change in VIBRATION.


Gratitude is the ONLY proper prayer

.As any other will only lead you to further low vibe thoughts, fears, and concerns.

Thus you will embody suffering through the emotions that you feel based on this belief that it is out of your grasp to be FRUITFUL.


Prayer is about turning it over.

Showing your FAITH.And LETTING GO to GOD.


We do not let go, when we are attaching our inverted pride to any situation. Instead we are owning victimhood and a scarcity mindset.


In order for us to live in grace, abundance and joy, we must let go of our need to control through our fears and wounding.


Thus making every prayer a PRAYER OF GRATITUDE instead of FEAR.


Let God’s power show through you,

by leveling up your prayer life,

and step into CERTAINTY,

where all things are possible,

because God is GREAT.


This is the life of a believer.

And a prayer achiever.


Your VIBE Dictates Your Prayer.


As always, Stop Existing & Start Living


If you are ready to make the leap then reach out to me today. I am running a Christmas special where you get 2-months of coaching for FREE. Check it out and use the SANTAGIFT code in the why you want to work with me HERE

Sex, Love and Fear.

Snuggles.
Intimacy.
Kisses.
Time shared.
SEX!

Mmmmmmmm….. sounds good, huh?
Sounds like something you want.
That you desire more of in your life.
Me too!

I sit here this morning contemplating so many things,
and I often find myself excavating past lessons so that I do not repeat them in current time and space.
As I analyze things, especially how I choose to do relationship I see how difficult I might be to have a serious one with.
And I do not believe that it is the fact that I enjoy multiple people in my life that is the difficult thing.
What is difficult for most is my integrity about it.
I share openly about my feelings.
About my past.
About my desires.
I share how I feel.

The issue is that we are taught that we should not want anything more than the relationship we have.
That the relationship we have is to complete us,
to make us happy, and to provide all our needs.
If it does not then under no conditions should you turn to someone else to get this met.
ESPECIALLY someone you may be attracted too or them to you.

I hear the statement,
” Be cautious of the situation you put yourself in.”

I hear the concern in this statement.
I hear the plea of if you hang around people you like, are attracted too then you may stray,
and straying equates to you leaving.
Because you have to make a choice.
Because there is ONLY so much love to go around.
Because you cannot have multiple relationships successfully.
Because it makes ME uncomfortable.

Okay, here is where I get a little uncomfortable.
Uncomfortable in my truth.

My truth is that I can NEVER go back to a way of living where I shut myself down from the world,
from other people,
and/or from men.
I f-cking love my male friends and lovers.
Whether current lovers of not, I may be enjoying time with them.
And when it is imposed on me that I need to not do this,
I feel shackles being put on me and on my emotions,
my heart,
my desires,
my energy.
And YES you better believe I will be making a choice.

I am poly my nature.
In all things I do.

I do love many.
I do enjoy many.
And may be likely to have intimacies in multiple ways with a few.

The one’s who capture my heart,
capture my essence for a season of our lives dancing together,
are the one’s who are confident enough in themselves and who get the difference between love and need.
Who can embrace my feminine wave of love.
These are the ones or THE ONE that will hold me a lifetime.

Now I am not speaking on sex here.
When I say intimacy,
I mean depth in revealing.
Sex can be this intimacy,
however sexing will only be as deep and intimate as we allow ourselves to be revealed in it.
Sex can just be that, sex.
It can be friction based and meaningless.

Sex does not mean love.
Sex does not mean commitment.
Sex does not mean intimacy.

Sex is a communication tool,
a physical communication tool .
And if you show up at only a surface level in your daily interactions with a lover,
then your sexing will only mimic the same.
Surface sex.
If you have depth, intimacy, surrender, authenticity in your daily interactions then your sex can go to this level as well,
or it can still be held in a place of disconnect if we are letting everything be heard in other ways but are scared to speak our truth in the bedroom.

Sex DOES NOT mean intimacy.
or love.

It can however deepen our intimacy and love.
It all depends on our level of surrender with our partner.

In the land of poly,
many believe that poly means to have multiple sexual partners. But this is not true,
poly is about something much more frightening than sex.
It is about LOVE.

Loving multiples.
And in love we can go deep with someone,
and we might open the gateway to sex.
Good sex.
Might I even say gourmet sex?
Because of the love,
because of the more authentic relating.

But poly DOES NOT equate to sex,
lot’s of sex,
or sex with many.

You can be monogamous in your sexing, 
and polyamorous in your relating and intimacy sharing.

And you can have success in this.
Just like you can have success in an open relationship with open sexing, or a swinging relationship.
Just like you can have success in a monogamous relationship.

A successful relationship is not about the sexual labels you put on it.

It is based on the confidence that each party has in themselves first, the self-love they have, and their ability to show up authentically in the realtionship. Which means authentic communication.

Year spent together does not equate a successful relationship.

Happiness does.
Unconditional love, and forward moving growth,
individually and together gives you opportunity to have this.

The most happy people on the planet are the one’s who have multiple close relationships. The healthiest people are the same.
Healthy mentally, emotionally and physically.
All requires intimacy shared.

Closing yourself off to the world is a death sentence in an essence.

Closing yourself off to the world and ONLY allowing intimacy to be shared with but ONE is putting all your eggs in one basket and putting an unrealistic expectation on the ONE. As well, as expecting that you as an individual can survive with only this one food source.

Because relationships are food.
They are emotional, mental, spiritual food.
They effect our body, mind and soul.
They impact us at a deep level.
And not having them does not mean that we are not effected.
Avoidance of relationship DOES equate avoidance of your heart and soul.
It is hiding from all the intimacy and truth that you are meant to share.

We hide out of fear of getting hurt.
We choose to not get involved,
to not catch feelings,
out of fear of getting burned.

If we do step into a relationship,
we then revamp our whole world and expect our partner to do the same, by not having relationship outside of the primary relationship. Often this simply means to pull away from anyone that there may potentially be “feelings” for.
And we do this out of fear.
Fear of loss.
Fear of being abandoned.
Fear of having too much love.
We close off because our ego’s affirm to us that it is not safe to love.

NEWSFLASH!
Love will not hurt you.
Love is not limited.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” ( 1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

So why do we fear it so?
Why do we handcuff it so?
Why do we cover it with our self-centered need?

Because we do not understand.
And we equate many a thing to be love.
We fear what we do not know.
We fear what we cannot control.
We fear that we will loose if we love,
therefore we choose to turn our backs on love,
as we embrace its doppelganger of lust and need.

Authentic loving,
is authentic relating.
Authentic intimacies,
come in many ways and are what brings joy and surrender to all relationship.

Sex is never a reason to fear loss.
Love will never create loss.

The only reasons we change seasons with a relationship is because we have either out grown the relationship or have not grown to the next level within it,
or it was based on need ( not love) and those needs are no longer being met.

Level up your love life,
by tapping into your authentic self.
Embody yourself and open to love.
This is the answer to your happily ever after.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

If you are ready to make the leap then reach out to me today. I am running a Christmas special where you get 2-months of coaching for FREE. Check it out and use the SANTAGIFT code in the why you want to work with me section.

Never Ready to Say Yes.

Epiphany Time.
Yep,
here it is folks.
Here is what no one want’s to tell you but you must know if you are going to have the life that you want.
 
If you are going to stop just getting by and start THRIVING.
Yes if that is what you are wanting in life,
if you want to wake up with a start,
fully ignited, charged up and turned on to life.
If you are wanting to have that deeply intimate relationship,
you know the kind that makes your heart shutter when you hear your partners voice.
If you are wanting to truly experience life.
Truly enjoy your family,
your friends,
the world,
good health,
ABUNDANCE.
 
then let me share with you this.
 
The fact is….
 
You will NEVER EVER be ready.
If I waited till I was ready to do anything,
I would do nothing.
I would have no where near the things that I have today.
I certainly would not have the relationships that I have.
The sex that I have.
The turn on that I have.
I would not travel the way I do.
I would not have the booming business that I have.
I would never launch a freaking program or workshop.
I would never write an article or do a vlog.
I would simply NEVER.
 
And therefore I would not have the life that I have.
I would not,
because I would have been saying NO,
to myself and to life,
to success and abundance,
to love and joy,
instead of saying YES.
 
I share this because ’tis is the season that we get bombarded with things.
We feel overwhelmed, frustrated, stressed and we want for more.
We want for more because all that we don’t have is smack dab in front of our faces.
Our children ask for so much,
we are asked to donate of our resources,
even if we have no resources.
It is assumed that everyone is “holly and jolly”
and that everyone can just keep giving.
 
Giving to everyone.
Except self.
 
Well,
take it from this single mom of seven,
who has had little to no assistance from co-parents,
and who run’s her own business, and is the primary financial provider not only for 4 children in home,
but also for my mother with dementia.
 
I get it.
I truly get it.
 
And you know what,
just the other day,
my grown ass daughter stood in my kitchen,
and proclaimed, “Mom you are rich.”
She then assumed that she and just about anyone was in the right to ask for their hearts desires from me,
and that I could cover it,
and that I would.
 
 
LOL…
 
At first I got a little upset at her assumption.
I wondered how she could just think this,
and then I realized that she was right.
 
I am f-cking rich!
 
I am rich in opportunity.
I am rich in energy.
I am rich in love.
I am rich in creative flow.
I am rich in abundance.
 
And this is all that matters.
because from this sorta mindset,
the world is my oyster.
 
So, I smiled.
And I agreed.
My ego screamed at me about all the responsibilities that she was unaware of or ignoring.
My ego yelped at me about giving too much.
My ego made very clear that it was still stuck in old programs of scarcity and fear.
 
And here is where “I” and only I could make the difference.
It was up to me in this moment to claim something different for my life.
I could say that I was broke,
that I was tired,
that I was overwhelmed,
frustrated and full of fear.
Or….
I could agree with her view of me.
“Mom you are rich.”
 
Well guess what?
You don’t get this view of your life if you are not showing up rich in some way or another.
My kids have lived through really freaking hard times,
where we lost our home,
had our power off for weeks,
was without food or water.
Had to “go camping” to give shelter.
 
They know all too well the other side of the tracks.
 
Well guess what?
Guess what?
 
I was never ready for ANY of the things I had to do,
to get from there to here,
or the things that I have to do to get from here to multi seven figures.
 
Nope. Not ready.
I am not ready to take the steps needed to move into deeper intimacy with my lover.
I am not ready to take the steps to get the body that I want.
I am not ready to step up into the the leader that I want to be.
 
But THAT WON’T STOP ME.
because I get it.
 
I get that in order to have the F-ck Yes Life that I want,
I MUST be willing to level myself up,
before I am ready.
 
It is this one THING that sets me apart from so many.
It makes me not average and ordinary.
And you know what?
If you want what you want,
then the same is true for you.
 
So REALITY CHECK LOVE.
You will never be ready.
You will never ever be ready.
 
You make the call as to when you move forward.
When you claim your life.
When you START TO SAY YES.
 
Until then you are letting life dictate to you.
And you got no right to b*tch.
 
So what is it going to be?
 
——————————————————————
 
If you are ready to make the leap then reach out to me today. I am running a Christmas special where you get 2-months of coaching for FREE. Check it out and use the SANTAGIFT code in the why you want to work with me section.
 
As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

Stop Gripping Your THING.

What are you holding on for?
Why won’t you just simply let go and let it flow?
It really is not that difficult.
But NO….

No, there you are fighting it.
There you are hanging on because you cannot let go.
You say that you are in flow,
you say that you got this alignment thing down.
You say that you are feeling good about it.

Blissed out!
Right?

WRONG!!!

Don’t be trying to fool the world,
cuz’ the world sees you.
You know how you are seen?
Through the eye’s that you see yourself with,
this is how the world sees you too.
It’s in your walk,
it’s in your talk,
your body language,
how you sit,
how you shake hands,
the faces you make,
the tone of voice you have.

You think no one can see that constriction?
LOL

Okay.

Whatever.

Let’s be real,
let’s have some respect for each other and self here,
and just state the facts.

You are scared that if you let go,
and let life catch you,
that you just trust that God has your back,
that you will fall.
That you will fail.
That you will die somehow.

You feel the pain,
the suffering right now,
from this fear.

Don’t you?

I mean look here it is the day after Thanksgiving,
it’s the coming of the end of the year.
The holiday’s are upon you,
the demands are many,
the fininances required to make it through the next 30, 45, or 60 days is massive.
You have choices.
You can go into debt some more,
you can just say,
“No, I am broke, I can’t.”
You can ignore the whole damn thing and drink,
or you can figure out a way to make sh*t happen.

And you want to make sh*t happen.
You want to have a killer holiday season.
You don’t want it to be last year,
or the last ten years.
You want it be fantastic.

You want to wake up on Christmas morning to the faces of your loved one’s and feel good,
you want to experience the love,
the joy,
the excitement.

You want to feel proud.

Don’t you?

But what will it take?
What will it cost you?

Money?
Time?
Energy?

Yeah, all of that is true.
The real cost though is not these things.
The real cost is something far greater.
The cost is why you are not doing it yet.
Why you feel that tugging in your gut,
that constriction in your chest,
that anxiety,
the reason why you are not sleeping so well,
the reason why you are drinking more,
the reason you are distant,

YES.
That is the reason.
That is the THING.

And you know the THING.
The THING that is bringing you the suffering.
That premature suffering for things that have not manifested yet.

Yeppers, that is it.

So why are you giving yourself,
your life to this THING?

Oh you say you have too.
You say that if you let go of that THING that you would perish for sure,
you say that focusing in on this THING is what is going to guarantee you not to experience it?

Mmmmmmmm- Hmmmmmmmmm….

Okay.
Whatever you say.

And with that we have the truth.
It is whatever you say,
REPEATEDLY…
In your own f-cking head.
Yes, that is what shall be.

And what are you saying?
Oh, you are worried about that THING are you.
That beast that you have yet to come up against.
That event that will take you out,
destroy you,
well NEWS FLASH!!!!!!!

It already has destroyed you.

Look at you.
You are stressed out to the max,
and all over that THING that has not happened,
and guess what most likely an 80% + chance that it won’t ever happen either.

But it has already knocked you down.
Because you are sitting around agonizing over IT.

Yes.
So STOP that Mother F-cking Sh*t,
and LET GO.

Instead,
go DO-BE-HAVE the life that you know you crave.
It is all up to you.
It is all up to where you choose to apply your focus.

You want the glass to be half empty,
then so be it.
And you know what that will get you…
the same thing you have been suffering through already.

Or….
You can opt to look at all that you have,
all the blessings,
all the joys,
all the love,
all the abundance.

It is all over you.
If you will just open up to it.
So change that stinking thinking,
and EMBRACE your TRUTH.

The CHOICE is up to you,
It always has been.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

For more coaching, truth shares and awakened education join me for 1+1 coaching via phone, zoom or in person. Or follow me on Facebookfor my morning FREE Conscious Coffee Broadcasts where I share truth bombs and alignment asskickery.

Proceed in Gratitude and Grace.

Capitol’s Log
One tequila.
Two tequila.
Three tequila.
Delete.
 
Yeppers that just happened.
So here I sit in Florida at the Casa Noble bar,
I spent the last hour writing an amazing share on travel,
on how it brings forth our authentic selves, ‘our authentic fears,
programs,
expectations and so much more.
I sat here, chatting with airport staff,
with travelers,
and my travel partner.
And I wrote a great article for you.
 
But you will never see it.
Nope this you will not.
Because of tequila.
and a accident with my fingers.
 
Thought I was copying when I was cutting.
Woops.
 
For a moment I was frustrated.
For a moment I was disappointed.
For a moment my ego held me.
It held me in it’s ego grip and it made me mad.
 
I felt stupid.
I felt like a mess up.
 
And then I breathed a little deeper into myself.
Into this moment,
and I laughed.
 
Realizing that accidents happen,
and all this happen for a reason.
 
I laughed it off.
And I went pee.
 
I got a break from my computer screen.
I took a break from what I thought I should be doing,
I took a break from the energetic demands that I had put on myself,
and I allowed myself to just breathe into the reality,
that it was okay.
 
Sure it was a good article.
It was a valuable share.
It was something that you would have liked.
And it was raw, real and from my heart.
It was my noticing’s.
And it was sharing how important travel is for our development as human beings.
 
It was revealing the truth on how travel show’s our truth, through the many issues that can happen when we travel.
 
How we deal with life as it emerges before us.
My noticing’s of fellow travelers,
their stress,
their drama,
their excitement.
 
And as I sit here at my layover to Jamaica,
I watch the people.
I watch all that they have to share with all those that they never will see again.
And those that they cherish.
I watch and I listen.
And what comes to play is our ego.
 
And funny enough,
as soon as I get done writing and get ready to post,
I have a mishap myself and delete my whole post.
 
OMFG!!!!
 
And what am I greeted by?
My ego.
Stepping up to the plate of life withing a 10th of a second.
Here I am.
Here I am to share my frustration.
My disappointment.
 
Here I am.
Don’t you want to merge with me?
Don’t you want to explore this faulse-hood that I want to paint for you?
If you had not drank that last tequila drink,
you would not have effed up.
If you had been more present,
you would have been on top of your game.
But no,
no, you effed up Kendal.
You hit the wrong button on your key pad and lost it all.
 
So do I let ego rule me?
Do I let it cause disappointment?
Do I let it sink it’s teeth into my moment?
 
F-ck NO!!!!!
 
It is moments just like this,
where the feeling of time lost,
moments lost,
shares lost,
disappointment,
frustration,
and whatever else might rise comes in that I am grateful for.
 
Gratitude for the experience of ego.
Gratitude for the presence to witness it.
To know that I have a choice.
Gratitude for the expansion if I so choose to allow it,
by not leaning in toward all that could mess up my day,
could make me feel bad about myself,
Gratitude that I give myself some grace.
In moments like this,
and many others,
that is what we need GRACE.
 
We are each but human,
and in our humanness,
we make mistakes,
we f-ck up left and right.
We hurt others,
we fumble the ball,
we delete masterpieces,
and we have a choice.
 
We have a choice to scold ourselves,
to blame and shame,
or to proceed in love and trust.
 
With gratitude and grace.
 
One tequila,
Two tequila,
Three tequila,
Delete.
 
Yes.
These are the moments that meet ourselves.
How do we react?
How do we choose to proceed?
How quickly can we bound back from our mistakes?
 
Ego,
will grab a hold of us if we let it.
It will rule us and shame us.
It will have us believe that being human is evil and a sin just for breathing,
but it is always our choice as to what we choose to do with our experiences.
 
It is our choice,
to lean into ego’s arms,
or into the love and compassion,
the grace of God and our souls.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
Join me later TODAY for LIVE Global Facebook training from the beach in Jamiaca while I teach Entrepreneurs who want to have it all how to take it from zero to $100k and more quickly.
 
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who wants to take their side hustle to a center stage hustle,
who wants to take their business from where ever you are to the next level.
 
Let me share with you the skills,
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When Too Much isn’t Enough.

I am too much.
Truly I am.
The way I share,
the way I love,
the way I enjoy,
the way I act,
the way I sex,
the way I can let go,
the way I parent,
the way I live.
 
It is all too much and then some.
Yet I am happy being too much.
Even though it costs me relationships,
arguments, hurt feelings and lot’s of change.
I am too much,
and it is just who I am.
 
But my too much,
is still not enough,
because my too much,
won’t give you what you want and may need.
 
How can this be?
Too much is not enough???🤔
 
You see it is the very fact that in being too much,
I push the limits.
I push the limits on everything,
especially on love, on relationship, on sex and my over all way of living.
Too much means that I am demanding in these things.
Too much means that I know what I want,
and I am not afraid to go after it.
Too much means that if I feel like I need more of something or that I cannot achieve it in the way before me that I will go and get it another way,
and tell you about it.
Too much means that I share.
I share in massive amounts,
because I want you to know.
I want you to step into the pool of living with me,
in integrity.
I want to grow,
and experience,
and I want to do it with those who want it too.
The other too muchers out there.
 
Yes, too much means that I understand that life is very polyamorous in so many ways. I know that my heart can expand to the depths, to the horizons that I choose. I know that I can love many and deeply. And I do.
 
I do this daily.
I do it openly,
and it makes me too much.
For many.
 
My too much is not enough,
even though you proclaim it is everything.
My too much is not enough,
even though you claim not to want to change me.
My too much is not enough,
even though you enjoy when it suites your desires.
My too much is not enough,
because it will push you to your limits.
It will make you uncomfortable.
It will test your heart.
It will call to your soul.
It will demand for you to fly or to walk away.
 
I am too much,
and it is a life long heartache,
as I share of my too muchness,
with those who love it and then hate it.
I am too much and with it comes the pain of loss,
as people ebb and flow,
and say they cannot do it.
With feeble excuses,
they move into knew life choices,
they run away from my too much,
to all that is comforting and less challenging.
 
Here is the reality of life for anyone who is truly too much.
We share deeply of ourselves,
we love deeply of those who dance with us in moments of our lives,
and we know that our too much will burn them.
And with the fire they will run.
Run into the arms of another.
Run into the comforts of average.
Run into the excuses of ego,
of jealous,
pride,
fear.
Run.
Run.
Run.
 
Yes that is what will happen,
because my too much is not enough.
And it will push you into the pain of reality.
The pain that you cannot hold me.
You cannot control me.
You cannot conquer me.
You can only dance with me.
And dance I will for hours and days,
for months and years,
and even decades.
But it is ultimately your choice,
how long the dance lasts.
 
Grow and expand.
Breathe in the feelings.
Breathe in the beauty,
the boldness,
the joy,
the play,
the adventure.
But heed the desire to stop it’s flow,
for in that moment is when the dance will end.
 
As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
For more coaching, truth shares and awakened education join me for 1+1 coaching via phone, zoom or in person. Or follow me on Facebook for my morning FREE Conscious Coffee Broadcasts where I share truth bombs and alignment asskickery.
 

Don’t Use Your Alignment As Your Excuse.

It’s all about alignment they say.
It’s all about just saying yes to the things that make you feel good, they say.
It’s all about flow, the law of attraction and the vortex they say.
 
Listen to your soul.
Listen to your heart.
And blessings will abound.
 
Yeah, yeah, f-cking yeah!
 
Okay folks,
you all know that I preach the same thing that leader and visionaries,
game changers, guru’s and greats have preached for ever.
 
There is no f-cking secret.
The secret is that we are responsible 💯% for the way our life manifests.
 
Yes there is the SECRET!
But we don’t like taking that sorta responsibility,
do we?
 
No.
We don’t.
I sure the f-ck have an issue with this wake up call,
like every damn morning,
and sometimes and noon and bedtime too.
Sh*t I wake up in the middle of the night sometimes,
freaking out about stuff.
 
Wondering why this is happening?
How am I going to get through it?
And what did I do to deserve such crap?
 
And THEN….
then I get smacked by spirit. 👊✝️🕉️✡️☯️💥👀
And I realize that I am laying there freaking out about stuff that I have no control over,
stuff that is other people’s business,
or stuff that more than likely will never happen.
 
All I am doing is increasing the odd’s of it happening because I am setting a tone in my thinking and feeling,
I am loosing sleep,
over crap.
 
And so I am aligning myself to a bad day.
And crap on the horizon.
 
or……………
 
What about we only do everything that is in alignment to ourselves.
 
What about,
we “pray” about it.
“Meditate” on it,
and “feel” into it.
 
To make sure that it aligns with us fully.
 
Yes, that is what we need to do to feel good,
have success, and get into flow.
 
This is where we manifest our greatness.
Yes!
 
Yes,
this is the answer.
After all….
 
This is what all the who’s who of flow, greatness and abundance do and always have known to work and be true.
 
RIGHT?
 
Yes.
 
So ya’ know what?
Putting my head down at 12:15am to write that article post that I do daily and missed the the time or focus to write the twelve hours prior, but don’t really feel like writing now either, I should skip till tomorrow.
 
Sitting down and putting together those course training pages after a stressful day of running around, dealing with drama, and feeling a little under the weather, sure does not feel in alignment with me right now either, so SKIP.
 
Doing that follow- up work with possible clients, researching a condition that I have never heard of but have a client with, figuring out new systems for my website, or writing that promotional email or page, just seem’s like too much right now. I sorta feel like I just don’t have the motivation, or the creative flow to do it….
I mean I want it to be in flow,
so I need to wait till I feel like I am in flow,
in alignment so that it comes together right,
and that is not right now,
so SKIP.
 
Man, I am so effing tired and sore,
no time for anything.
Exhausted. Feel like crap.
I sure don’t have time for yoga class today or that walk.
It won’t hurt if I take a day off.
SKIP.
 
Oh baby, I love you.
Oh baby, you complete me.
Oh baby, you are so perfect.
Fast forward 18 months…. 5 years… or what have you.
I just think we are no longer in alignment.
I mean, I know that she/he is still the same person of yesteryear, and we said that our dreams and goals were this, but I have now found myself and I know that you are not in alignment to me anymore.
Oh you want to talk,
you want to work on the relationship,
you are willing to change, grow,
sorry I am not in alignment to it.
BYE.
 
Get where I am going with this alignment idea?
 
Here is the reality,
the reality is that we tend to use alignment as an excuse to get out of the things that we don’t want to do.
 
Isn’t it funny that when we REALLY don’t want to do something,
when we REALLY feel lazy,
when we REALLY just want out of a situation,
that God/Spirit ALWAYS answers us with
 
that’s not in alignment,
 
when we pray or meditate on it.
when we feel into it.
 
OMFG!!!!
 
Really.
Just grow a f-cking pair and say that you don’t want too.
Don’t use God/spirit and alignment as your f-cking excuse
 
If you want to be in alignment and have all the wonders of your heart,
then one of the first things you need to achieve is to be in integrity with who you are, what you want, what your boundaries are, what your desire is, and where the f-ck your VOICE is located.
 
That is what God gave you a voice for.
To speak your TRUTH.
 
No matter what anyone else thinks about it,
when you stand strong in your needs, desires, and heart,
when you stand in authentic integrity with yourself
and with others,
then guess what?
 
Yep you nailed it.
 
Then you are in ALIGNMENT.
And you will align to your abundant life.
You will align to your blessings.
 
Anything else is a lie.
 
So it is your choice,
stay average and ordinary,
and speak lie’s to avoid your own fear of rejection and pain,
or
speak from your soul’s alignment,
which mean’s…..
 
BE TRUTHFUL.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
www.kendalwilliams.com
 
PS
Real Estate Agents, Coaches, Massage Therapists, Yoga Instructors, Speakers, Educators,Practitioners, MLM Peep’s, On- Line Sales, Crafters, or anyone who is helping someone else…. THIS IS FOR YOU!
Wish you could start the new year being your own boss?
Wish you could figure out a side hustle that made you good part time money and was something that you enjoyed?
Want to know where to start?
With YOUR biz?
 
Let me show you what I have learned from the last two decades of being my own boss.
 
Take your business from where ever you are at,
even if you have not started yet,
to making $100k quickly.
 
These are the steps that you need to master your BOSS-HOOD!
 
Preliminary work has already been added.
LIVE training starts Sunday.
You can take this class from anywhere in the world to boot.
 

No One Gives A Sh*t About Your Troubles.

No one really cares if you succeed or not.
No one really gives a rat’s rear end if you pay your bills or not.
No one really ultimately gives a shit.
How do I know this is true?
 
Well think about it…
Your friend tells you about their troubles,
the man next door shares about his job loss,
the woman at the school shares she has cancer,
your aunt says that she is terminal,
Your kid says that they are stressed about this or that,
your buddy at work get’s canned.
 
Sad but true.
These events happen every day.
You hear about them,
and you say,
OMG! I am so sorry.
I will pray for you.
You ask what you can do.
You feel bad for a few moments or even revisit the feeling here and there through out the day,
but at the end of the day,
you sit down on your couch,
you snuggle with your kids or your spouse,
or crash alone,
you watch whatever series on TV that you are caught up in,
and you ignore the miseries of others.
 
Right?
So why think that anyone else is doing something different when you share your sob stories.
 
the reality is that no one really cares if you succeed.
And to top it off,
almost everyone will eat away at your
TIME
ENERGY
MONEY
HEART
and whatever else they can absorb from you in the process.
 
Your friends,
Your family,
and any one that you allow too,
will step into your life and enjoy all that you have to give,
and keep taking from you until you say no,
or drop from exhaustion.
 
So why do so many of us, ‘find ourselves wrapped up in other people’s drama, if this is true?
 
Why do we allow for others to just leach off of us,
if at the end of the day it does not really matter?
 
Why do we extend ourselves to the point of breaking in some fashion, if no one really gives a shit?
 
Now I know that this may seem a little pessimistic here.
And I am not saying that we should not help.
That we should not ask for help.
 
What I am wanting to do is bring attention to the harsh reality of being human and living in a world of fellow humans.
 
We are all greedy mother f-ckers.
 
We want what we want and we want it for ourselves.
Even when we are “helping another” it is for ourselves.
 
It is most likely our ego,
wanting a pat on the back in some fashion,
even if it is just from ourselves to say, ” Yeah, I am a good person.”
 
Here is the reality,
here is the thought behind this share,
so often,
this aspect of our ego’s that desires to be just that,
“A good person,”
will lead us down the path of filling up our schedules with other peoples business.
 
The business that leads us to no where land.
The business that takes us into stress,
into chaos, and misery.
Worry and doubt.
The business that if we get real with ourselves,
we are stepping into because of our own fear of moving forward.
 
And so we fiddle around in this or that,
being a good person.
 
Taking the short term payout,
of feeling good about ourselves,
all the while,
denying our dreams.
 
When we allow others to dictate,
to control,
and to take priority on our schedules.
and in our lives,
our thoughts,
we hand over our power to them .
And we in essence say,
” I am sure that you will put me before you and do what is in my best good.”
We say,
” I have weak or no boundaries.’
” I do not value my own time or energy.”
” I need a reason to be a victim.”
 
And we do these things,
because yes we want to be good people.
We want to be liked.
We want to help others.
We feel lead to do them.
 
All great reasons.
However, all ego based.
 
And these ego based reason.
will NEVER lead us to the results in our lives that we desire.
They will only lead us to something other than success.
And that would be FAILURE.
 
And we will continue to experience this as long as we over give of ourselves based in ego.
 
If you want to claim that F-ck Yes Life.
If you want to build a multi-six or seven figure business.
If you want to have a phenomenal relationship.
Or any other dream or goal,
then you have to stop f-cking around.
And you have to make YOU #1.
Because no one else on this planet is going to,
and nor should they.
 
It is high time that you go do what you need to do,
to become whom you need to become.
 
Stop making excuses by getting caught up in everyone’s else’s live’s,
INSTEAD get caught up in your own.
 
Say YES to the most important person in your life.
YOU.
 
And as always,
Stop Exisiting & Start Living

Real Estate Agents, Coaches, Massage Therapists, Yoga Instructors, Speakers, Educators,Practitioners, MLM Peep’s, On- Line Sales, Crafters, or anyone who is helping someone else…. THIS IS FOR YOU!
Wish you could start the new year being your own boss?
Wish you could figure out a side hustle that made you good part time money and was something that you enjoyed?
Want to know where to start?
With YOUR biz?

Let me show you what I have learned from the last two decades of being my own boss.

Take your business from where ever you are at,
even if you have not started yet,
to making $100k quickly.

These are the steps that you need to master your BOSS-HOOD!

Preliminary work has already been added.
LIVE training starts Sunday.
You can take this class from anywhere in the world to boot.

REGISTER NOW!!!!
Class starts this Sunday Nov. 18th
3 Day Intensive LIVE Global Access Workshop

Bounce the F-ck Out of That.

Bounce the f-ck out of that negativity….

Bounce the f-ck away from those negative peep’s…

Bounce the f-ck out of that negative loop of assuming that someone is doing something to you…

Bounce the f-ck away from ANYTHING that does not feel good over the long haul in your life.

Now I know,
and I am reminded often,
that many feel that they cannot do this.

They have to stay put in the enviroment that they are in.
They have to.

Because, you see it is the responsible thing to do.

Are you this person who believes that you are captured in the the job,
the relationship,
the house,
the financial situation,
the sexless life,
or the just getting by and existing?

Is this your reality?
Are you lacking turn on for life?
YOUR LIFE?

I fully understand.
About a decade ago, I felt this way in all the above areas and more. I felt completely lost in my life.

I hated where I was living,
I had hardly any close relationships outside of my immediate family ( my husband and children).
I hated my body.
I hated my financial picture. ( If you can call it a picture, it was more like a nightmare)
I had no purpose,
no passion.
No orgasm in the bedroom or outside of it.

I was scared shitless every day that I woke up and I had no hope of getting out of the situation.
I sunk into the deepest depression of my life,
not wanting to wake to even care for my five children any longer.
I weeped constantly,
drank far to much,
blended codeine with booze just to escape my world.

Sleep seemed like the best option on most days,
but I never had the time for it.

I felt trapped with no way to escape and the well I was in just kept getting deeper.

Yeppers that was a decade ago.
Just a little over.
12 years to be exact.

People would tell me to be grateful.
People would tell me that in order to be responsible and a good parent,
a good person even,
that one had to compromise of themselves.
Do whatever it takes.

The man I think of like a father,
told me one day on my front porch in one of my deepest moments, “When you chose to have kids, you decided right then to stop doing what you want. You can’t have what you want when you have kids. You gotta be responsible and put them first.”

I wanted to puke when he said this.
I agree,
that family,
our children for sure come first.
You don’t go out and drink, party and do silly shit when you have kids.
You think about your responsibilities,
and you make them a priority.
You pay your f-cking bills,
you take care of your family.

But do you have to compromise all of yourself?
All of your life?
All of your desires?
All of your joy?

NO the F-CK you DO NOT!

But you know what you MUST do?
That is,
IF you proclaim that you want that F-ck YES Life.
IF you claim that you want to have it all.
And keep it real.
God.
Family.
Business.
Everything Else.

Well you must BOUNCE the f-ck away from those negative things.

And here is the gig,
most of those negative things are right between your two ears.

It’s the thoughts your thinking.
And it’s the peep’s your hanging with.
Look at the vibe that you are living in.

You can easily tell where you are vibing at by what is showing up in your world.

And you can tell how you are vibing,
by the way that you FEEL.

Yes,
I just said that.

THE WAY THAT YOU FEEL.

12 years ago,
I felt like shit.
I thought negative thoughts.
I got support of those thoughts from the people in my life.
I looked only at the negative in my life,
and it just kept multipling.

I did not do the mindset exercises daily that I do today.
I did not work my ass off internally to create the internal enviroment that would give me the external enviroment that I wanted.

And when I did apply myself there,
I did not believe it.

Because I had practiced too many negative thoughts and my beliefs came from them.

SO I had to DECIDE.
I had to really get serious with the most important person in my life.

And that was not my children.
It was not my husband.
It was not any family or friend.
It was not my bank account.
Or any one I owed money too.

It was not even God.

It was ME.

I had to have a pow-wow with ME.
And DECIDE what I wanted.
And what it would feel like to have that.
I had to start acting from a place of already having it.

I had to start with creating more of the thoughts I would have if I was already where I wanted to be, then what I was comfortable thinking in my current situation.

I had to put myself into situations that felt weird.
Uncomfortable.

I had to brainwash myself into believing something different.

And that meant…

I had to…

Bounce the f-ck out of that negativity….

Bounce the f-ck away from those negative peep’s…

Bounce the f-ck out of that negative loop of assuming that someone is doing something to you…

Bounce the f-ck away from ANYTHING that does not feel good over the long haul in your life.

SO what did I have to compromise to have the F-ck Yes Life of today?

EVERYTHING.

Everything that I was comfortable with.
Because it was not in alignment to what I claimed I wanted.

So,
there you have it folks.

You want it.
But are you willing to have it?

It’s always your choice.
You manifest your life.

What do you choose to think about?
Feel like?
Focus on?
or who are you hanging with?

These are the things that lead you to one door or another.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

Join me November 18-21st for my 3 day intensive online workshop.
Ass In The Sand – Facebook Live Workshop for Entrepreneurs Who Want It All
If you are an entrepreneur and you want to know how to take your biz from zero to $100k quickly, for real – then this intensive class is for you.
Pre-registration coming out this next week.
Look for it or message me to get on the pre-launch list.

Why Saying No to $60k May Keep You In Soul Alignment.

What would you give to make an extra $60,000 a year?
What would you sacrifice for this?
Would you be willing to step out of soul alignment for a good chunk of change?
 
Last week I was offered just this.
An extra $60k a year for really minimal time on my part.
It is an amazing opportunity to boot.
And I feel blessed to have it knock on my door.
 
But as I sit here over the week and feel into my heart.
Into my gut.
Into my core.
My soul…
 
I feel disgusted in truth.
I have been dancing around with this feeling all week,
telling myself this or that.
 
Telling myself that it was fear.
That maybe I had worthiness issues,
or even that I was being lazy.
 
However,
my gut feels nasty gross at the thought of saying yes to this opportunity.
I feel like my boundaries are being pushed on before they ever are.
I feel like I might have to fight for my boundaries and end up in a piss poor situation that could not only break open old wounds that I have done so much effing work around, but perhaps scar me even deeper.
 
I keep hearing certain statements made in my inquiry process that just do not sit well in my body and if I lean in to those feelings, I find myself being a f-ck no to the opportunity.
 
I feel edgy.
I feel nauseated.
I feel fear.
 
So what do I do?
Do I lean into a situation,
and opportunity,
because it appears to be so financially rewarding and even will help me in building my brand better potentially and gaining further exposure to potential clients and other opportunities?
 
OR…
 
Do I listen to my soul.
Listen to the reality that no matter how great it may appear from the outside, that my soul is not in alignment to it?
 
I tend to pause in moments like this.
I pause.
I do research.
And I sit with it a few days.
I understand the power of the ego,
and how it wants to raise havoc in our lives, preventing us from not stepping into all that we can be-do-have,
by getting us to embrace fear, shame, guilt, uncertainty or scarcity thinking.
Making us believe that something is something more or less than what our soul knows it to be.
 
The truth is simple.
Soul alignment is ALL that matters.
 
Whether,
you are looking at a relationship,
a job opportunity,
a new business,
a diet or workout,
or any life change or event,
right down to deciding on what you want for dinner.
 
Because even your dinner should be in soul alignment.
If you are willing to sacrifice and not be in alignment with the food you put into your body,
then where else are you willing to say yes or no when you mean the opposite.
 
When it just does not feel right,
but you feel shame, guilt, fear over stating your authentic answer?
 
Soul alignment at all cost is where it is at.
 
It can feel like the most challenging thing to do.
Which should,
when you think about it seem silly.
 
Silly because,
since when is saying yes to our soul,
yes to what we know to be right and good for us,
yes to alignment,
something that should be challenging?
 
It should not be challenging.
It should just be.
It should just be a no duh sorta thing.
 
RIGHT?
 
But it is not.
Reality is that ego has us all by the balls quiet frequently.
It has us jumping through hoops of fear and doubt,
acting from a place of scarcity and unworthiness,
instead of faith, love and abundance.
 
The things that feel good.
Even when they give us butterflies in our tummies.
 
The things that make our hearts smile.
And make our souls proud.
 
For me,
soul alignment is my only focus.
 
I won’t take on a new client even if I do not feel aligned to them.
 
And I certainly will not allow anyone into my personal life,
or my bed that I am not feeling aligned too.
 
If I step out of soul alignment,
which I do all too often on accident and because I am but only human at the end of the day,
I quickly look at where I stepped away from soul,
and do whatever it takes to get back into my flow.
 
If soul alignment is not your cup of tea,
you believe that it is just a pot a crap that all us new agey peep’s and supporters harp on because it is the hot topic,
bu that the real truth is that you just gotta compromise, shut up and bend over and take it, or that you have to spend all your time and energy doing what you don’t feel like doing because that is how life works and that is how success is achieved,
 
well then…
 
I am sorry.
 
Not really.
But I know that I cannot change your mind on this.
And that that very belief makes you out of alignment with my soul,
 
so why bother?
 
Back to the point of this share,
Soul Alignment.
 
You are either in it or you are not.
 
I can tell you that when I wake up to my munchkins jumping into bed with me,
snuggling up and saying, “Mommy, mommy I love you.”
And I feel good about who I am,
all that I do,
and all that I can provide.
I know that this feeling is what matters most.
Because as soon as I start to ignore my soul and the emotions and feelings that is guides me with,
I actually loose myself.
 
And in loosing myself,
I sacrifice my life.
In this sacrifice,
I also potentially sacrifice all that I can be-do-have,
and say no to the f-ck yes life that I desire.
 
So what are you willing to sacrifice for an opportunity,
a relationship,
or anything else that is not a f-ck yes to your soul?
 
Look at the true price of it.
 
It’s always your choice.
 
Praying you decide wisely and in favor of soul alignment.
 
As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
Join me November 18-21st for my 3 day intensive online workshop.
Ass In The Sand – Facebook Live Workshop for Entrepreneurs Who Want It All
If you are an entrepreneur and you want to know how to take your biz from zero to $100k quickly, for real – then this intensive class is for you.
Pre-registration coming out this next week.
Look for it or message me to get on the pre-launch list.
 
Or explore my mentorship HERE