What magnificent men we can be! — by Jonti Searll

What magnificent men we can be!

An important aspect of the journey for almost every woman who comes to share a healing journey with us, is reclaiming her Yoni. Establishing a relationship and taking back a part of herself, that was mostly separate from the rest of her being.

This is very different from men’s relationship with their Lingam (Penis), so I always thought. Last week, I had a revelation about this. Men don’t have an emotional relationship with their Lingam. The connection is functional, at best it includes a level of pleasure which is mostly external, and is filled with “Macho Mythology”. This relationship is also and often run through with anxiety and fear.

It’s true that through sheer body geography men have a more direct and easier relationship with their genitals. We touch it more in the course of a day, in ways that have nothing to do with sex. It’s external, more visible than a Yoni. We see it, we’re aware of it.

Intellectually aware, recognition aware.
Not emotionally aware.

For most men, sex is a genital experience. It’s body limited, all the sensation is in the Lingam and the pelvis. Occasionally there’s a heart connection, but that’s external. That’s the connection with a partner.

But it’s not with my own heart. There’s no tenderness, there’s no gentleness, there’s no sensuality in terms of My Self, and My Lingam. Me as a sexual and sensual being in my own right.

The ownership is goal oriented, erection and orgasm. Which is functional.
We’ve made it emotional by saying that when we’ve done that, when we’ve achieved that, that’s the sexual expression of being a man fulfilled.

The fear and anxiety of size, performance and pressure to please a partner is all directed outwards. We haven’t taken emotional ownership of ourselves as sexual beings.

The impact of this, is limitation, severe limitation of our feelings, our sensations, and our experiences. Full body orgasms, multiple orgasms, expanded orgasmic states, Lingam Heart opening, Slow Union, melting orgasms, sexual meditation, all of these are inaccessible. They’re for women, and a few weird Tantric dudes.

We can have so much more, much deeper, more satisfying and more fulfilling experiences. For Ourselves. We can know much more of ourselves, express and experience more of ourselves. Which allows us to share more with our partners.
Which allows what’s between us, what we touch, feel and share, to expand.
For there to be more between us, because there’s more within us.

What magnificent men we can be!

Learn more about Jonti Searll and the workshops/sessions he guides at Tantra Evolution

Becoming the change he wants to see…

This testimony was shared with me today from a very special client of mine. A divine man opening to his heart and purpose one step at a time. Just in the few energetic bodywork sessions we have done I have seen and felt GREAT changes in his whole being. I am so proud of you Matthew. keep shining and flying free. You DO deserve EVERYTHING!

Chakra Balancing – Energetic Bodywork Session

Vega Lyra,

You are the Bright Star illuminating the path for me and others to travel freely.The emotional tug of wars going on inside me since seeing you today has been draining while energizing at the same time. It wasn’t 45 seconds after I was in the truck before the drama started. ( Family, Work, and Friends) It seemed that all 7 of them needed it NOW dammit, and I was 25 miles from any of them. In the most recent past I would’ve still handled all the issues but in a very different manner. How dare 7 different individuals interfere with my peace today, this was the first thought that went through my mind. Then I remembered one of the first things that you taught me, BREATHE, so I did. And you know when I took that first breath, deep way down into my root chakra, I knew something fundamental immediately. I was learning how to love myself, how could I expect those that I was interacting with to act differently just because I am. Their thoughts, actions, and attitudes are as loveless as mine have been for the last 42 years.

 

 Change starts with me, if others are to learn to understand that we all have this burning energy inside, then I must show the way. I will do this by transforming who I have been into who I am meant to be thru the divinity in me and those around me.

With regards to the session today I would like to share my feelings with you and I don’t know why? I don’t really know you but I feel that you are real and since I make a living off of reading people (hence my cynicism to life) I will go with that truth.

I am shamed that I wasn’t more open. I want to travel this path and quickly (to make up for lost time) therefore I must be honest. Today’s time with you was and still is the most satisfying time I have had in many years. I FEEL, really FEEL mental clarity, physical strength, emotional uncertainty – vulnerability. I wonder at your courage, how strong you are to share a piece of your soul with someone you barely know. Can I too grow to the level of understanding love, that I am able to be free with others without fear of judgment or condemnation.   I am sharing this next part because I feel it is important for me as a breakthrough. This was a complete and pure feeling of satisfaction as defined sexually wow that was difficult to say. Put into a sexual description – I have never experienced the purity that you shared with me today. I can’t remember the last time I felt this way.

Others come to me all the time for help-consul-a sounding board if you will. I have held others as they pour out their pain but I have never been on the receiving end (was raised saying love but not showing it, you know men don’t show that sissy crap) . All my life family, friends, co-workers with issues are drawn to me or I to them like a magnet. I had grown cold, distant, and indifferent, when dealing with my life issues let alone anyone elses. There was a time when I joyed in helping others, but that feeling has long since faded. The feeling from today is just more than I can put into words or even describe. I feel like I am young and purposeful again.

Thanks for listening.

With much love and appreciation,

Matthew S.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Virus Question

Going the DistanceOften I look around while driving to the office at other people in the rush hour traffic. Some are sitting in their cars talking on cell phones or texting, surfing the net. Others are tapping their fingers on the steering wheel listening to music or just find themselves a tad irritated with the daily grind of another work day and the traffic that comes with it.

Whatever each person is physically doing does not matter nearly as much as the energy that they are doing it with or the look upon their face. So many people are scowling and look totally captured in stressful thought. Worried about a business deal, a proposal or presentation. Will they arrive to work on time or will they be reprimanded for being late, regardless of the fact that there was a 5 car pileup that morning. They sip their coffee or energy drinks as they slinky themselves along the freeway lanes in anguish that yet it is another day where they feel that time would be better spent watching a dead flower grow. Comfort comes in their titles and pay checks. In these they can point and say “I am important.” Never acknowledging their true selves but instead the labels that life has given them.

It does not end at work either. This same dull drum carries into the home front. Into the marriages and intimate relationships that we all value so much. We walk in the doors of our cozy homes, our children playing video games, doing homework, watching TV or off on a date with someone, our spouses tired from a long day of duties themselves. We try to not bring our work home so that we can have quality focused time with the people that we love the dearest. Yet often we are feeling pressure to finish some detail of something and find ourselves distant and un-present with our families. If we are single then we work until the wee hours of the morning on a project wishing that when we turn around we would see this incredible creature that can see us for us and loves us unconditionally lying in bed waiting for our body to curl up next to theirs.

Difficult ChoicesIn the end of our lives if we are not careful to listen to our hearts and souls quiet music that they guide us with, we may find ourselves
bewildered, unfulfilled and full of regrets. One NEVER regrets living more! One
does not regret experiencing more or making love more. One regrets lost
opportunities. Caving to fear and to social boundaries.  One regrets smothering the voice of spirit when the Virus Question is posed at different points of life. The questions that rise up from the depths our souls and cause us to feel butterflies or upset stomachs, nervousness and fear or excitement, these are the questions
that are presented from soul to the logical mind for a reason. The reason comes
back to truly embracing life. Living the experience of life that we were
designed to live.

So what is the “Virus Question” and why is it a virus?

Breaking the Structure

It all comes down to railroad tracks. If you go to the train station today or Google on line, you will learn that the distance between railway tracks is ALWAYS 143.5 centimeters, or 4 feet 8 and half inches. Why is it this measurement?

A: When the first train carriages were built they used the same tools that had been used to build horse-drawn carriages. So why that distance between the wheels and the carriages?

A: Because that was the width of the old roads along which the carriages had to travel. But who decided the width of the roads anyway?

And here is where we do a tad bit of time travel or time warping, quantum jumping, etc. etc. We have to plunge ourselves back into the distant era where soldiers wore short white dresses, had strong sexy backs and legs, and carried upon their heads beautifully designed protective shields (picture Russell Crow or Brad Pitt ladies). A time where Cesar was the ruler of the whole world and Rome was at its center.

The Romans were the great road builders who decided to make
the roads that width. But why?

A: Because their war chariots were pulled by two horses, and
when placed side by side, the horses they used at the time took up 143.5
centimeters.

So think of this when you look at today’s railroad tracks.
The tracks that our state-of-the-art high speed trains use were determined by
the Romans over 2000 years ago.

When ships came to the great America’s to settle the lands
and in time the English settlers decided that they needed to build a railway
that could cover the United States, it did not occur to them to change the
width and so it stayed that way and is that way still today. The effect of the
distance between the tracks determined by the Romans even had a significant
impact on the building of our space shuttles. American engineers thought that
the fuel tanks should be wider, but the tanks were being built in Utah and had
to be transported by train to the Space Center in Florida, and the tunnels
could not take anything wider. So they had to accept the measurement that the
Romans had decided was the ideal.

Now you may find this tale very interesting or be wondering
what the hell I am even talking about it for, and you most certainly are
wondering how the Romans road building has any effect on our marriages and
relationships at all or on any part of our personal lives, since most of us do
not personally use the train system unless we live in a major city center or
have a job with the railroad.

It has everything to do with marriage and relationships.
Especially those that are supposed to be “love-relationships.”

Somewhere along the line someone in our world history stood
up to the plate and said, “When two people get married, they must stay frozen
in time. They must stay like that for the rest of their lives. Till death do
they part. You will move along side by side like two railroad tracks, keeping always
that same distance apart. Even if sometimes one of you needs to be a little
farther away or a little closer, that is against the rules. “

Rules: Be sensible. Think of the future. Think of the
children.

Masking the WildYou can’t change; you must be like two railway tracks that remain the same distance apart all the way from their point of departure to their destination. The rules don’t allow for love to change, or to grow at the start and diminish halfway through, it is too dangerous. And so, after the enthusiasm of the first few years, they maintain the same distance, the same solidity, and the same functional nature. Your purpose is to allow the train bearing the survival of the species to head off into the future: your children will only be happy if you stay just as you were – 143.5 centimeters apart. If you’re not happy with something that never changes, think of them, think of the children you brought into this world.

Think of the neighbors. Show them that you’re happy, eat roast
beef on Sundays, watch television, and help the community. Think of society.
Dress in such a way that everyone knows you’re in perfect harmony. Never glance to the side, someone might be watching you, and that could bring temptation; it could mean divorce, crisis, depression.

Smile in all the photos. Put the photos in the living room, so that everyone can see them. Cut the grass, practice a sport, — oh, yes, you must practice a sport in order to stay frozen in time. But when sports are not enough, have plastic surgery. But NEVER forget that these rules were established long ago and MUST be respected. Who established the rules? That does not matter. DO NOT question them, because they will always apply, even if you don’t agree with them. (adapted from The Zahir by Paulo Coelho)

These factious rules that the majority of our society abides
by are not designed to handle the up roaring of the “Virus Question” though.

At some point in life we may stop and look in the mirror, see
a glimmer of the person we use to be and the dream we once had and find
ourselves looking over our shoulder at the view of this white picket fence life
asking: Why am I unhappy?

Our governments, our religions, our bosses, our friends,
neighbors and families do not want us asking this question. Because it carries
with it the virus that will destroy everything. It means we want to find out
what makes us happy. If we find the courage to ask it and to look ourselves in
the eyes and feel our hearts answer, we will discover most likely that what
makes us happy is different from what we are living now, then we must either
change once and for all or stay as we are, feeling even more unhappy because we
know.

Two WorldsThe glimmer of that life that we long to live. The adventures we long to explore, the passions we long to full fill and the love we long to fully open up to can all be acquired within a moment’s thought if we are
willing to hear the call of the soul and charge forth like a couragous Roman soldier facing his enemy on the field. In the same thought we can crush our own hopes and dreams, our passion and take our love away that wants to be harvested and shared unconditionally by smothering it in a wool sack like dirty laundry. Not fit for the rules of the life that we are living. After all the rules ALWAYS apply and they were established long ago by who knows who. It does not matter. All that matters is that we realize that we must do what is civilized and within the boundaries of the box that we reside.

You will never experience true ecstasy or your true self, let along the openness and full union in love with another if you are not willing to break the rules.

It is not until you walk through the shadows of darkness and
fear no evil, when you know that your inner light and strength will guide and
comfort you, that all the fear and shackling of society through the embracing
of mediocrity will do nothing but cause the chaos, the divorce, the depression
and gloom that we all try to hide from that you can actually realize this:

“When I have nothing  more to lose, I will be given everything. When
I cease to be who I am, I will find myself. When I experience humiliation and
keep walking, I will understand that I am ALWAYS free to choose my destiny.”

The question of “why am I unhappy?” may carry with it the
virus of change, but better to be taken over by such an illness and be healed
from a life of quiet desperation then to believe we are not sick and die of a
cancer that is eating up our nations and our world from the inside out.

You are free. You are free to choose your destiny. You are
free to choose life, love and the pursuit of happiness. You are free to be
happy and you are free to investigate why you are not.

Over Taken

As Dante wrote in The Divine Comedy, “The day that man allows
true love to appear, those things which are well made will fall into confusion
and will overturn everything we believe to be right and true. “

“The world will become real when man learns how to love;
until then we will live in the belief that we know what love is, but we will
always lack the courage to confront it as it truly is.

Love is an untamed force. It is a rule breaker. When we try
and control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us.
When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused. This
force is on earth to make us happy, to bring us closer to God and to our
communities, to ourselves. Yet the way we love now brings us an hour of anxiety
for every minute of peace.” – Paulo Coelho

We must transform our love into the love that the creator
intended it to be. Open and unconditional. All embracing, with not prison bars,
no rules of proper educate, and no attachments of expectations.

Free Spirit

Enjoy the romantic love that flourishes your environment at the start of a new relationship. But open yourself to the realization that all this flutter and rose tinted glasses is only a taste of the love that dwells inside of your very being. It is not a magic spell, it is not a manifestation from the one you are feeling all warm and cuddling about. It is YOU opening to ecstasy. “Ecstasy is the final stage of intimacy with yourself… It is a shift in perception in which direct contact with spirit is made.” (Deepak Chopra) Through the integration of our bodies, minds, hearts and souls we can fully realize that we are not only the great challous of this love, but we are also the sweet nectar that fills it. We are not singular, we are plural. We are all part of the Christ-consciousness matrix that is awakening to Divine Love. And once we awaken we will redesign our railways, perhaps we will even come to the conclusion that stiff metal tracks are not even required to get us to our life destinations. Instead we may invest in parachutes so that we can fully be embraced by the heart throbbing experience called Life.

Awakening to the Messiah on The Road Less Traveled

“If I had a hammer, I’d hammer in the morning, I’d hammer in the evening, All over this land.
I’d hammer out danger, I’d hammer out a warning, I’d hammer out love between my brothers and my sisters, All over this land…

Well I got a hammer, And I got a bell, And I got a song to sing, all over this land.

It’s the hammer of Justice, It’s the bell of Freedom, It’s the song about Love between my brothers and my sisters, All over this land.” — Peter, Paul and Mary (Song Lyrics)

Looking out into the world we see many individuals. We see nations, races and religious beliefs. We see OUR differences. Yet what we do not see often is ourselves in each person we come in contact with. A truly spiritual, Christ consciousness being can see and feel themselves in everyone that they interact with. They recognize the beauty and connection we all hold at a deep level. Intellectually we may all know that we are all children of God but when it counts we often forget.

Standing in line at a local Starbucks today I was witness to this very detrimental closure of the human disconnect in our world. A man who was obviously in a rush,  irritated and  numerous about the events happening “to him” went from testy to overly angered by the cashier who was new at her job and learning the register.

His reaction to her student-ship was far from human, and if the tides had been turned his harsh judgments and condescending statements would have been reviewed differently. However for my fellow brother in need of a time-out and an attitude check, I am sure his day went on to be one lacking in bliss and light.
If he had only paused and come from his heart in this moment he could have manifested a day of beauty and blessing not only for himself but also bestowed “light” unconditionally to an outside reflection of himself: The young cashier.

For any of the people in line with this man and for anyone reading this blog post here on Tantric Transformation, it is easy to see the negative impact his choice most likely bared to his day and perhaps to hers as well. But as Alcoholics Anonymous teaches, “ the only person you can change is yourself.” This is the awakening that needs to happen. It is the first step to positive world change and unity. The realization that we cannot ever be responsible for another’s consciousness or personal change. We can be guides, we can help create a positive environment for change and we can be supportive of others change by being the witness to ourselves and interacting through responsible unconditional loving of each as though they were ourselves. Because they are.

Don't Die with Your Music Still in You!Our personal disconnection from each other is scary.  Right down to the communities we live in we can see a dramatic change in connection just over the last 50-60 years. Go into an older neighborhood in your city and look at the homes that line the street. What do you see? Fully grown trees, beautiful architecture, driveways on the front side of the houses? Look past that.  What you see are two things that represent community and neighborly connection. Large front yards and front porches. Years back families would gather on the porch, enjoy ice tea or lemonade, a few beers maybe. They would socially interact with the family next door. Kids would be climbing those trees, playing in the sprinkler, chasing the dog from one front yard to the next. The front yards were deliberately designed larger to embrace comm-UNITY. Now look at your neighborhood? Unless you are one of the lucky few who bought one of these properties, you most likely live in a neighborhood similar to my own or in a townhouse/apartment.

Driving down the street in my neighborhood of 1500 houses or so, you find narrow streets, hard to pass on coming cars if there are any parked vehicles on the street in front of a home. You also find garages in the back of the homes and some up front. Shoe-box size front yards and 6 foot tall fences that shut out the world from the back yards which are normally far larger than the front yards. Around the 6 o’clock hour you will be plummeted by people speeding down the narrow street and quickly escaping from the world as they press the garage door button 3 houses away so that they don’t have to pause to wait for it to open. No
sooner does the car pull to a stop in the garage when the door comes down again. This is a representation of our inability to get along and open ourselves to not only our neighbors, our supposed friends but also to our families, our loved ones and most importantly to OURSELVES.

We live our lives based on fear. You may say no to this statement, or you may agree but I can share with you that the one thing I have been blessed to witness to in myself and with many people that I walk this path with is that we are all
fearful of something. And you may be thinking right now, “yeah I am scared that
a hurricane is going to come this fall and wipe out the area that I live,” “I
am fearful that my spouse is going to leave me for another,” “I am fearful of
getting cancer,” “I am fearful of losing my job,” or “I am fearful of losing my
soul to the fiery depths of hell if I do not live according to the doctrine of the
one true church, (and that of course is the one I go to.)” None of these fears ultimately matter. These fears are all ego based as ALL fears are anyway. They are controlling our free will, our spiritual nature. The only fear that we all
share is one much deeper and far more de-abilitating then any above. It is the
fear of vulnerability. Transparency. It is the fear of being seen and of seeing
ourselves, not only in the mirror as we brush our teeth but in each person we
come in contact with.

sunflower tantra july 20th2011 404-1Yet it is what we need to embrace to heal. Truly heal not only ourselves but the whole world. To quote M. Scott Peck in his book The Different Drum, “There can be no vulnerability without risk; there can be no community without vulnerability; there can be no peace and ultimately no life, without community.” But what does REAL community mean? It is what we all want. The unity and total acceptance from our fellow brothers and sisters.  It is learning how to appreciate and even celebrate in another’s individual cultural, religious and spiritual differences. It is the knowing that in the end we are ALL going to the same place and that if we are truly all children of God then it does not matter the name we choose to call Him or the house we choose to visit him in. Would you love your child any less for saying daddy then father or papa? Would you condemn your child for confiding in you with their fears, worries and hopes in their bedroom or the backyard because you only talk with your mother in the kitchen? No. Of course not. That is just plain silly, right? Well, this is what we are doing when we stand firmly in saying that OUR church is the ONE true church. It is the only way to the Promised Land; it is the only path to the arms of our creator. Every ancient spiritual text that has been converted into a religious path says the same thing, “Love thy neighbor as thy self.” This does not mean that we should only love those that are easy to love, that share our views and faith, that are the same race, same financial standing, or are just sweet people.  This
means love thy enemy, because he too is thy self.

Recently I watched a film called The Grace Card. This point was made very clear in this movie. An African American pastor of a small congregation was preaching at the pulpit about loving thy neighbor. During his sermon he shared the above and said “What do you do?” The congregation replied loudly, “Love them anyway.” He paused, looked out at his followers and said, “But what if I don’t want to? What if I don’t know how or even if I can?” Ladies and gentleman, now that is the truth. What if you don’t want to? Or know if you can? What if they are truly that hard to love and you know that in order to open to love with this person you are going to have to push the unconditional envelope hard?

As hard as it may be, the grace we all so want, the unconditional love and acceptance we long for, the fullness and intimacy we crave in our relationships and the world peace we know is mandatory not only for our physical salvation but for our spiritual as well will ONLY come about when we can first be forgiving of ourselves and open to the power of our vulnerability and we gain control over
our own personal Satans, our egos and harvest inner peace and unconditional
love for ourselves. If each of us were to respect ourselves at this level then
the natural repercussion of this internal awakening would be the unconditional
gift of acceptance, adoration, honor, love and comm-UNITY for all. Where would be the need for war and hatred if we had peace and love inside?

Only those who are closed to the reality that our external world is an illusion and only a dream that is playing out based on our internal consciousness will have
difficulties in this personal level of respect and honor. Even Freud, an
atheist, said that the purpose of psychotherapy (healing the psyche) was to
make the unconscious conscious.  Carl Jung ascribed human evil to the refusal to meet the Shadow – the Shadow being those aspects of ourselves that we do not want to recognize and that we constantly try to hide in the closet of our consciousness. Once we awaken to the fact that we are “made in the image of God” and what this passage is really sharing then we can change our external world.

Made in the image of God…

Think about that for a moment.

You’re still reading. You have not paused to seriously, stop and think about it.

Made in the image of the creator, my god, your god, our god.

Inspired PathThe creator can do anything and enjoys creating, manifesting and sharing unconditionally because only through the gift of true unconditional sharing is Satan(The shadow) slain and light revealed. Only making what is hidden revealed from the shadows can we be truly like God. To embrace being like God, means to not only intellectually understand but to proactively be the cause of positive manifestations such as peace, love, community, a healthy planet Etc. We are each made in his image because we are each creators of our universe and our collective existence. We have the ability within us to create, to manifest, and to master the universe.

The ancient knowledge of the mysteries of the universes and of our father in heaven resides within each of us. We each own a blueprint. In order to read it however we may have to seriously consider the impractical thought of changing the rules of the game since the rules are seriously killing us physically and spiritually. It is time to awaken and not only walk down the road less traveled, but also play to the beat of a different drum and realize that we must go against the status quo in order to save the skins and souls of our children’s children.

The matter of changing the rules is no longer an option.

It is time to make a call to action and to truly live up to our God potential and Love thy neighbor the way Jesus, Buddha, The Dali Lama, Osho and Mother Theresa  did.

The Messiah is here with us now.

The Messiah is YOU.

The Messiah is Me.

The Messiah is the man who needs a timeout at my local starbucks.

The Messiah is a United Christ-Consciousness.

Go forth today in love and ight and proactively mean it!

 

Tantric Therapy for Premature Ejaculation

Premature ejaculation (PME) is very common in males of all ages. Premature ejaculation is also common in the animal kingdom. In the animal kingdom sometimes fast is good; in order to deliver the sacred seeds of procreation as fast as possible or before someone else does. On the other hand, even in the animal kingdom, a prolonged sexual process creates physiological conditions that evoke specific levels of arousal and lubrication, and optimal positioning and penetration which increase the reception of the sacred seeds of procreation.

According to the “The Pleasure Coach”, “As boys masturbating or with a partner, they often trained themselves to be pre-mature ejeculators as they often do this quickly so as not to get caught. As adults, many men do not realize that extending the pleasure by slowing down can add a whole other dimension to their self-pleasuring.”

The act of sexual union not only provides procreation, but creates intimacy and connectedness.

Traditional professionals debate on the causes and treatment of premature ejaculation in men. Some believe that premature ejaculation is due to inheritance because individuals that experience premature ejaculations often have first-degree relatives that have had similar experiences; whether this is genetic or cultural is debatable.

Other researchers have noted that men who experience premature ejaculation have a faster neurological response in the pelvic muscles. Also, physiological complications such as urethritis, prostatitis, hyperthyroidism, obesity, and erectile dysfunction have been identified as attributed causes of PME. Tension in intimate relationships is commonly documented as causes as well.

Traditional treatments often involve talk therapy, recommended exercises to do at home and sometimes medication. Unfortunately, most traditional therapies focusing on dulling the sensations; psychologically (thinking about something else), physically (use of condoms, creams and analgesics to dull the sensation) and chemically (medication that dulls all sensation mentally and physically).

The Tantric Therapy view is much more holistic, natural and actually engages individuals to expand their sensations and experience.

Tantric Therapy View

First, while there can be a physiological issue, premature ejaculation is totally and completely a natural occurrence. It is nothing to be ashamed off. However, premature ejaculation can limit a man’s intimate connection with himself and add challenging dynamics to relationships.

I have practiced traditional insurance reimbursable psychotherapy for 16-years. Tantric Therapy treats the psychological, physiological and adds a critical spiritualogical component creating a holistic approach. Where traditional therapies can be effective, the holistic approach of Tantric Therapy is 100 times more effective in treating premature ejaculation (PME). I often compare the idea of only doing talk therapy to treat PME to the idea of just talking to someone that really needs physical therapy after an injury or surgery. A physical therapist could tell a person how to best do physical therapy on themselves or even teach a friend or beloved to help them; but most agree it would not be as effective. Actual physical therapy is 100 times more effective in healing physical injuries than talking about; why shouldn’t the treatment of PME?

Tantric Therapy does not treat the symptoms or even the causes of PME. Tantric Therapy focuses on the core of an individual’s frame of reference and center of relativity in their sacred relationship with themselves and with others.

Tantric Therapy

Working with men; I recommend individual counseling, bodywork and couples counseling.

Psycho/Spiritual

Tantric Therapy begins first with gathering an extensive history regarding not only sexual functioning, but also a developmental (childhood to adulthood) history, including a family history and discussion relative to intimate relationships. In addition, a physiological history is also gathered to rule out medical conditions. Also, information is gathered about the person’s spiritual perspectives on relationships and sacred sexuality. This process is not done to identify problems but to get the individual to engage and open themselves up.

In Tantric Therapy, sessions commonly begin with discussing and exploring the concepts of Sacred Sexuality from a psycho/spiritual/sexual perspective. Genuinely acknowledging the Sacredness of relationships often has a profound impact on individual’s views of Sacred Sexuality, intimacy, spirituality and on sexual functioning – including PME.

The experience of Tantra is to open or uncoil the Kundalini within. Awakening the Kundalini within not only elevates our energy and the contact we have the Divine; but sexual energy is not manifested physiologically but spiritually. The sustained spiritual union with oneself and between partners can lead bliss.

In addition, treatment teaches/focuses mental centeredness, relaxation, and awareness.

Also, recommendations are made for diet and regular physical activities; such as yoga.

Bodywork

I often counsel/educate men on the physiology/anatomy of intimacy.

Often the review of male physiology/anatomy includes the functioning of their bodies. I almost always recommend men doing bodywork sessions female practitioners. Bodywork sessions are very intimate and profoundly effective. All body work sessions begin with a developing therapeutic intimacy – creating a safe intimate connection/relationship for sharing and healing.

Most bodywork sessions involve the practitioner bathing and massaging the man to induce relaxation and intimacy. Breathing exercises are incorporated as well; making breathing delicate and slowing the breath. When an agreed level of relaxation and intimacy is established a more intense focus can be explored with the man’s Lingam, perineum, and sacred spot.

During a bodywork session; a practitioner will familiarize a man with his anatomy in a new way or sometimes touch a man in a way that he has only touched or explored himself. During these sessions; it doesn’t matter if the man is erect or not and often men ejaculate early in the session.

The muscles surrounding the perineum, Lingam and anus of massages and relaxed. The exploration of Scrotum elasticity, responsiveness, effects of temperature and sensitivity are explored. In addition, the connectedness of the perineum is explored. The stimulation of the prostate is explored as well; first internally and internally. When erect, the flexibility and positioning of the Lingam is manipulated. Often during sessions, men will become erect and then become un-erect. Ejaculating several times is also common. During sessions, men are taught how to squeeze their muscles around their prostate. This is done with the practitioner feeling the squeeze around the prostate.

Another important aspect is to have a in-depth conversation regarding masturbation. Often men train themsevles to ejaculate quickly; therefore some men are conditioned for PME.

Practitioners work with men in the bathroom; and encourage them to begin to urinate and then stop and continue again helping them become more aware of the internal sensations. While men can be and are instructed to do this by themselves; having a practitioner accompany/instruct them in-person has been more effective. Some practitioners will have men drink a lot of water before and during sessions and then have them stand and urinate into a jar and train them to start and stop.

The most common technique is to massage a man’s Lingam and prostate simultaneously and have the man signal when he feels the sensation that he is coming close to ejaculating and then stop the stimulation and encourage the man to squeeze. This process will not only profoundly help with PME but guide the man to experience multiple orgasms and recirculate his energy.

Overall, the most effective approach is to associate arousal with the connection to the Divine and have ejaculations be a conscious choice rather than a reflex. This is accomplished with Tantric Rituals, teachings of the male multi-orgasmic response and a lot of positive love and support.

Namaste,

Duncan Knight

You may also review Duncan Knights work at www.tantricproviders.com

Dallas, Texas

I have been Tantric Therapist for 15+ years, specializing in helping individuals and couples improve their relationships and make them Sacred. My Tantric Therapy practice is a combination of psychotherapy, massage therapy and spiritual guidance. I consider women Sacred and Divine and guide them to realize their Divinity; and teach couples to worship each other’s Divinity.

Make "Tantra" part of YOUR lovemaking TONIGHT!

Tantric lovemaking incorporates breathing exercises, muscle contractions, music and sound, visualization, affirmations, creation of a sacred loving and safe space and other ceremonial rituals. Points of focus are meditation, stimulating sensual massage, and sexual play. In order to build a high sexual energy  that moves the lovers into ecstatic states of divine connection Tantra encourages extended lovemaking over several hours, experiencing ever expanding levels and waves of pleasure along the way.

Tantra is powerful because you can receive immediate results with limited practice, but the depth and blissful states along with personal transformation that emerge over years of practice or the full life-style change can far exceed what the majority of students expect. Below are a few tantric steps to make your lovemaking tonight more blissful, fullfilling and spiritually deep. Continue reading “Make "Tantra" part of YOUR lovemaking TONIGHT!”

The True Fountain of Youth ~ Sex is Good for Your Health!

The True Fountain of Youth ~ Sex is Good for Your Health!