The Importance of Social Media for Happiness Today.

Caught up in your phone.
Caught up with that small screen of yours.
It is so important isn’t it?
 
It holds your life.
Checking your bank account.
Checking your emails.
Personal and business.
It comes to this one small little world capturing device.
 
What’s happening on Facebook?
On Instagram?
Twitter?
Snap chat?
Whats new on Pinterest and what have you pinned today?
 
This world of ours it is all scrolling by on our wall and here we are missing each other for it.
 
I know how it is.
I really do.
I am oh so guilty of just this,
loosing myself to the mini screen in my hand.
 
And what I have noticed is that when I allow this screen to own my day,
my thoughts and time.
I am more anxious, I am more lost, more insecure.
It’s like my personal value and worth is somehow wrapped up in how many likes, loves or shares my messages gain.
 
I am curious as to what those I follow and learn from are doing, experiencing and enjoying.
 
I might be guilty even of comparing at times.
And here we go baby,
its the social media platform life.
It’s the modern world.
And its like never escaping high school on some days.
 
With all the communication,
all the personal shares and picture posting.
All the debates and livestreams,
you would think that we would grow to be a world society that loves deeper and greater and has better social skills because we have at our finger tips the world that so many of us will never actually be able to go explore to any level.
 
But what has actually occurred is a separation.
We have forgotten our humanness for all the distance between our screens.
 
We now think that it is okay to take the easy route and to be rude, hurtful, deceitful and immature.
We have forgotten that our actions, our words, and how we choose to show up impacts those around us,
and now more so than ever before those around us is a mass.
 
It is the WORLD beautiful that see’s you.
No matter how small a circle you have here in social media land,
your words have a bigger impact then they would have 50 years ago or even a decade.
Because we like, love, angry face and share.
We spread our infections to so many more then we use too.
 
It use to be just a small village that would hold space or burn us at the stake,
but today…
today the village is the WORLD.
 
Today it is even more important then ever before to sharpen up on your social skills.
 
Today it is even more vital to your business,
your personal life,
and the lives of those that you live and share your inner world with,
it is more important today to make sure as f-ck that YOU are being authentic and REAL.
That you are choosing to stand in your truth.
That you are confident in who you are and what you believe,
and that you are walking the path that your CORE,
your SOUL desires.
 
Because as this world has grown ever so disconnected.
The tribes that we build will only have loyalty beautiful,
if they can feel who you are.
 
And if you are weak in who you are,
you will get lost in today’s social media world,
washed up and lost beautiful.
 
And what will come of you,
will be suffering.
You will start to believe that what the WORLD thinks,
what the WORLD says of you is true.
And you will no more be your beautiful self.
 
So today commit to being YOU.
Authentically YOU in this crazy online world of ours.
Today commit to get up to speed on some old school social skills,
like being kind,
being respectful,
being YOU.
Stop with the manipulation, the lies and rude ways that you feel oh so safe in acting on because this small screen of yours is your shield.
 
Time to STEP UP and be Authentically YOU beautiful.
BE YOU and let your SOUL be felt.
Not your fear ego and jealousy.
 
This new world of ours will either make or break you.
 
Now like or love this musing beautiful and make me smile. 😁
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Let’s get you to your desired F-ck YES! NOW.
Applications for 1:1 available for a limited time. Message me for application.

WHAT YOU WANT YOU CAN’T GIVE 100% OF THE TIME.

You know what you are looking for in your life?
You know what you are wanting in your relationships?
 
It’s the very thing that is so hard to give.
We all have trouble offering it 100% of the time.
And in truth we simply will never be it 100%.
 
We can’t be it all the time,
because we are works in progress,
always getting to know ourselves a tad bit deeper.
And it is a scary ground to walk on.
But geeze do our souls desire it so.
 
What could I be speaking of beautiful?
 
Well its not more sex.
It’s not even love.
It’s not a pat on the back.
Or more money.
 
No.
 
The thing that we often desire is a little thing that you can not hold in your hands,
you can feel with your skin,
you cannot guarantee ever.
But you want it.
You want it, this I am sure.
 
That thing I speak of beautiful is:
 
TRUTH.
INTEGRITY.
HONESTY.
AUTHENTICITY.
 
So often I hear people say,
” I am an honest person.”
 
” All I want is to know the truth.”
” I hate drama and manipulation.”
” I am a person of their word.”
” I am just being me.”
 
Mmmm- Hmmmmm….
 
Is that so?
Is that true?
 
Perhaps it may feel that way to you.
And perhaps you may actually believe that you are.
And in many moments you most likely are.
But today I offer up the pondering of the possibility that maybe, just maybe you are not as authentically honest and truthful as you believe you are.
 
Perhaps you are human,
just like the rest of us out here.
Perhaps you are on a journey to discover who you are and even though you think you know,
you still find yourself waking up to new aspects of who you actually are each time the shiz hits the fan and you are triggered.
 
Every time someone asks something of you and you make an excuse.
Every time, someone shares something with you in confidence and you share it just once with this good friend over here.
Every time you get triggered and your words escape your mouth before you have thought them through.
Every time you blame and point that finger.
Every time you weep in feeling you are alone and story tell to yourself the lies that support.
Every time someone does not react the way that you desire and so you say something to make them change their mind…
 
Yes every time.
 
Every time you tell your lover something that is not true.
Every time you look down from yourself in the mirror.
Every time you shut down your heart from feeling what you said.
Every time YOU ARE ASKED TO STEP UP and speak your truth.
 
Oh, beautiful every time.
 
These are all moments when we choose to step back from that which we desire so deeply to have.
 
And by stepping back from our own truth,
we lean just a tad into that vibe of illusion.
And we lie to ourselves.
We lie to others as well.
It often feel’s so small,
it should not matter.
But each time we step away from our truth,
we close off AUTHENTIC COMMUNICATION.
 
We shut ourselves down to love.
Because often beautiful,
in moment like these,
love is there.
Just on the other side of our illusions,
where we choose to lift our head,
say no to the ego of trying to get out of something or to manipulate.
 
Yes on the other side we find love.
We find freedom.
We find confidence.
And we regain trust.
 
You will never be a trustworthy person if you cannot stand in your own integrity,
even when you have fallen,
to stand in integrity is to give yourself grace enough to say,
“I was wrong.”
 
Where have you stepped away from that which you desire so much?
 
And how can you step back into authentic relating with those you love and care for?
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Let’s get you to your desired F-ck YES! NOW.
Applications for 1:1 available for a limited time. Message me for application.

You Offend Me. – Stop It!

That is IT!
I am DONE!!!!!
Done you hear me.
 
I cannot stomach it any longer.
Just the fact that you think that way and have the nerve to state it openly on top of everything.
 
So frustrating.
It should not be allowed.
I mean seriously,
you have no clue.
 
ARGH.
 
Stop already.
That is it!
I am clicking report and then I am unfriending you.
It sickens me that you shared that.
 
How little do you think of yourself to just put yourself out there like that?
 
Do you have no self-respect.
Self-care?
I bet you do this because you think you are oh so cool or hot, right?
Well it is obvious that you are just another attention hungry bottom of the pool feeder who has no real understanding about anything and just wants us all to bask in your glory.
 
Seriously.
I am DONE.
This whole thing is offensive to me.
It is offensive to all of your followers and friends.
How can you just keep sharing?
How do I make you STOP?
 
Don’t you see yourself?
Geeze….
 
Think much of yourself?
There you go again posting.
 
I cannot take it.
Seriously, I am going to unfriend you.
I am.
 
What’s this?
These people here are agreeing with you?
 
W-H-A-T?????
 
Come on people you are going to buy into this rubbish?
Really?
 
Okay now that is pushing it.
Now you have done it.
You are now making others believe this crap like you do.
Will you stop at nothing?
 
and on,
and on,
and on,
we go.
 
 
Okay dear reader, PLEASE don’t believe that any of the above is anything that I have personally outside of this post here ever written and meant or written at all.
 
Matter a fact just today I was doing a livestream and you could see my nipples I guess under my my shirt and a man responded, “nice nipples.” in the comments section.
Of which I said nothing to.
 
Then later a man private messaged me and asked if this other man’s comment offended me.
 
LOL.
 
F-ck No!
 
In order for his comment or anyone’s comment to offend me,
it would mean that their opinion of me mattered somehow.
As though how they judged me, viewed me or what they translated from my image or words had some effect on my self-worth, esteem or confidence.
As though their opinion should cause me to second guess, judge or love myself less.
 
That is funny.
I tell you I am laughing at a deep soul core level over thinking that someone making any comment, or doing something even as distastefulness as some of the pictures I receive or random advances that I get daily should have a true effect on who I am or how I feel about me is CRAZY.
 
Offended?
 
What does it take to offend one?
Well for some in today’s world it takes VERY little.
And for those poor saps who live in a world that is out to get them I feel pity, because they will never bask in the beauty and joy that life has to offer.
They will never be able to fully trust life.
Themselves. or anyone.
It is sad to watch so many people go straight into defense at the slightest little thing that ruffles their feathers.
And without any concept of what they are really doing.
 
Standing about,
pointing fingers,
getting mad at pictures,
at opinions of other’s,
at debates,
or feelings,
that are not theirs to begin with,
and truly believing that it is everyone’s else’s responsibility to make them happy, keep then safe from things that pull up fears, or trigger them in some fashion, or to make them feel anything at all.
 
Here is the cold hard reality.
NO ONE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU BUT YOU!
 
And nothing can MAKE.YOU.FEEL
anything.
 
That is all an inside game.
The only thing you do when you feel offended is cower into the corner of the victim mindset and turn over your power to everything/one else,
putting them in charge of your happiness.
 
And then acting like a spoiled kid when you don’t get what you expect.
 
Sheer silliness.
Laziness too.
and emotional immaturity above everything else.
 
It is most certainly the topic of today.
Even a fellow coach/friend had a share of theirs taken down because it went against community guideline.
 
?????
Did she get naked and share a video or pic that was to out there like some of the things I see come through in some of the groups?
 
NO.
 
Did she cuss people out or call people prejudges names?
 
No.
 
Did she slander someone?
 
No.
 
Did she do ANYTHING offensive?
Well, yes.
Yes she did.
Well she must have.
Because her livestream was deleted for such.
 
It was not a community that she offended.
No.
She offended one person more than likely.
And much like my writing above,
this one took it upon themselves to save everyone from such nonsense that was in this livestream.
 
Mean while,
we have video’s running around with violent scenes,
men are sending very unattractive and unwanted pictures to random women in messenger,
people are being called names because of how they look,
or what race they are or church they go too.
We can openly watch a video with a squirrel having its nut’s ( yes actual nuts/balls/testicle’s) caught in a fence and we laugh it off.
 
All of this is okay.
Why because of the number of likes it has below it?
Or because it’s not happening to you.
Or you just don’t see it.
 
And still even all of this…
 

GUESS WHAT?

 
Yes even my fellow coach video being taken down.
None of it is offensive.
 
UNLESS YOU MAKE IT SO IN YOUR OWN HEAD.
 
Again…
No one is responsible for your happiness,
your feelings,
your thought,
or judgments,
other than YOU.
 
So why the rant today?
Because it is silly.
And as I shared on a comment thread about this very thing,
 
“It is a shame that our society is focused on being on the attack and can’t stand behind our right of speech and to share our options and thoughts. It is crazy, back in the 1950’s doing Roasts were so popular and it took a strong and stable person to be able to sit through the ego breaking moments of a roast. today’s society cannot handle someone just glancing over at them for no reason without feeling offended. Crazy it is. We have raised a weak society of wantabe adults.”
 
Today society cannot handle a ROAST.
Or a wrong look.
Or your opinion.
 
Let along your life.
Your hobbies.
Your likes.
Dislikes.
Beliefs.
The color of your hair.
or how you choose to dress.
 
We have become a weak culture.
We in WHO WE ARE.
Knowing ourselves.
And loving who we are.
We are weak in just allowing each to their own.
We have become STRONG in becoming the police for everything that has nothing to do with us.
We have become STRONG in sticking our nose into everything and playing the blame game.
 
Gotta Love the Blame Game.
Right?
 
 
Not.
So how do you rank love?
How easily offended are you?
Have I pushed you to the point of no return in this share and made you one of my haters?
 
Or are you EMPOWERED and conscious?
 
Share your thoughts below.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Don’t wait another one, two, five, ten years to start THRIVING.
Make 2019 the year of you claiming YOU.

No One Gives A Sh*t About Your Troubles.

No one really cares if you succeed or not.
No one really gives a rat’s rear end if you pay your bills or not.
No one really ultimately gives a shit.
How do I know this is true?
 
Well think about it…
Your friend tells you about their troubles,
the man next door shares about his job loss,
the woman at the school shares she has cancer,
your aunt says that she is terminal,
Your kid says that they are stressed about this or that,
your buddy at work get’s canned.
 
Sad but true.
These events happen every day.
You hear about them,
and you say,
OMG! I am so sorry.
I will pray for you.
You ask what you can do.
You feel bad for a few moments or even revisit the feeling here and there through out the day,
but at the end of the day,
you sit down on your couch,
you snuggle with your kids or your spouse,
or crash alone,
you watch whatever series on TV that you are caught up in,
and you ignore the miseries of others.
 
Right?
So why think that anyone else is doing something different when you share your sob stories.
 
the reality is that no one really cares if you succeed.
And to top it off,
almost everyone will eat away at your
TIME
ENERGY
MONEY
HEART
and whatever else they can absorb from you in the process.
 
Your friends,
Your family,
and any one that you allow too,
will step into your life and enjoy all that you have to give,
and keep taking from you until you say no,
or drop from exhaustion.
 
So why do so many of us, ‘find ourselves wrapped up in other people’s drama, if this is true?
 
Why do we allow for others to just leach off of us,
if at the end of the day it does not really matter?
 
Why do we extend ourselves to the point of breaking in some fashion, if no one really gives a shit?
 
Now I know that this may seem a little pessimistic here.
And I am not saying that we should not help.
That we should not ask for help.
 
What I am wanting to do is bring attention to the harsh reality of being human and living in a world of fellow humans.
 
We are all greedy mother f-ckers.
 
We want what we want and we want it for ourselves.
Even when we are “helping another” it is for ourselves.
 
It is most likely our ego,
wanting a pat on the back in some fashion,
even if it is just from ourselves to say, ” Yeah, I am a good person.”
 
Here is the reality,
here is the thought behind this share,
so often,
this aspect of our ego’s that desires to be just that,
“A good person,”
will lead us down the path of filling up our schedules with other peoples business.
 
The business that leads us to no where land.
The business that takes us into stress,
into chaos, and misery.
Worry and doubt.
The business that if we get real with ourselves,
we are stepping into because of our own fear of moving forward.
 
And so we fiddle around in this or that,
being a good person.
 
Taking the short term payout,
of feeling good about ourselves,
all the while,
denying our dreams.
 
When we allow others to dictate,
to control,
and to take priority on our schedules.
and in our lives,
our thoughts,
we hand over our power to them .
And we in essence say,
” I am sure that you will put me before you and do what is in my best good.”
We say,
” I have weak or no boundaries.’
” I do not value my own time or energy.”
” I need a reason to be a victim.”
 
And we do these things,
because yes we want to be good people.
We want to be liked.
We want to help others.
We feel lead to do them.
 
All great reasons.
However, all ego based.
 
And these ego based reason.
will NEVER lead us to the results in our lives that we desire.
They will only lead us to something other than success.
And that would be FAILURE.
 
And we will continue to experience this as long as we over give of ourselves based in ego.
 
If you want to claim that F-ck Yes Life.
If you want to build a multi-six or seven figure business.
If you want to have a phenomenal relationship.
Or any other dream or goal,
then you have to stop f-cking around.
And you have to make YOU #1.
Because no one else on this planet is going to,
and nor should they.
 
It is high time that you go do what you need to do,
to become whom you need to become.
 
Stop making excuses by getting caught up in everyone’s else’s live’s,
INSTEAD get caught up in your own.
 
Say YES to the most important person in your life.
YOU.
 
And as always,
Stop Exisiting & Start Living

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Hope & Commitment: PRICELESS

Average cost of a divorce: $15,000 to $30,000

Average child support payment for one child: $430

Average alimony support percentage of highest earning spouse: 30% of income for up to 50% of time of marriage

Saving your relationship and working through your shit: PRICELESS

Remember the old commercial?
Well I sure do.

And this topic is near and dear to me in recent times.
But more importantly,
It is a possible reality to many of my couples clients.
Or potential couples clients.

The sad truth is that quiet often people go looking for help.
They sit in my office,
Wrenching their hands together,
Butterflies in their stomach,
Wanting to be heard.
To be understood.
And to be given hope.

They look at their spouse,
And they hope that they too have a sincere desire to heal the wounds of years gone by.
They hope that their partner is feeling at ease and will be open to the possibilities of getting help.

Often, tears are shed in my office by one or both parties as they recognize the pain,
They see the situation of their marriage clearer,
And they feel the tingle of hope spreading its wings inside them.

There they sit.
HOPEFUL.

They share intimacies within this safe container,
Baring their truths of bitterness, of loss of desire, of financial pains, of feeling left behind and under appreciated.

They share their sins.
From adultery to drug usage to porn and anger.

They share their longing.
Their longing to reconnect.
To heal.
To love and be loved.

And so they walk away from me,
Feeling lighter.
Feeling connection and understanding.
Feeling non-judgment.
Feeling as if they can recover.
They feel HOPE.

And then….
It is inevitable my follow up email with all my recommendations and observations comes into their inbox.
It asks them for their,
COMMITMENT.

Many stand up to the plate.
But many steer away in fear.

They lean on objections.
From price to time.
They say they need to wait.
They say they think they can do it on their own.
They say this
And they say that.

But none of it matters.
They CHOOSE to not commit
And thus they choose to remain in their suffering and in the harsh reality that separation most likely will knock soon at their door.

But they feel like they cannot change the outcome.
Because it just is.
So they settle into victim mode.
And they loose HOPE.

How much does it cost to sacrifice your HOPE?
How much is it worth to step into COMMITMENT ?

It is priceless.
Thats what it is.
On both sides it is PRICELESS.

The only question
I ask these souls who choose to say goodbye is,
Are you happy?

At the end of any decision.
You must ask yourself.
Are you happy?

Here you will learn your truth.
Here you will learn about your fear.
Your regrets.
Your desires.
And if you made the right choice.

No one can answer this for any of us.
It is between us and soul.

And it is PRICELESS.

As always,
Stop Existing and Start Living

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Mother F*cker Messed Up My Orgasm.

 
I sit here this morning not wanting to open up my text thread with my ex.
The negativity,
the control,
the anger that comes from it,
and that I feel inside just at reading the last words on the thread.
 
“Really?”
 
I already know the tone.
The comments and commands.
I feel disgust at this thread.
 
Late last night I saw his final words,
they hit me like lead in my gut,
Sorrow,
Distrust,
Bitterness,
Anger.
 
It is all here.
Stepping away from an enviroment,
a relationship for a few weeks or months
 

“Really”

 
does show you a person’s truth.
While in the relationship we make excuses,
get caught up in the day to day,
and simply just don’t want change.
We don’t want to have a relationship fail.
We want to make it work.
We want to be accepted, loved and connected.
Even at the cost of our well-being,
Our happiness,
Joy,
Health and freedom.
 
SO we ignore,
hide, ‘cover that shit up and act like it is not there.
 
Truth never stays hidden forever though.
A person’s true color’s ALWAYS come out.
And in my saga, the color’s are not so pretty in this relationship.
 
The truth of the reality is that I masked from myself my partners need to control and dominate. I knew he was an alpha personality walking in, and loved that about him. His strength and ability to hold boundaries was attractive. His assertiveness and masculine power was what I needed and desired. I needed the security of this. I needed the foundation of this. I also loved his calm, cool, collected stance. I loved his seemingly open mindedness and playfulness. He offered what I needed in the moment.
 
It was a season.
There was a reason.
 
Now those were gone.
Now I am left with the flip side.
The control freak, the aggressor, the one who when he does not get his way acts like a 3 year old and retracts himself, his love and says, ” I hate you.” Takes his ball and goes home.
 
Now I am left with his need to try and control me through our children. I wonder if he even notices it, if he is aware of his pattern’s, his actions or if he is just playing the role that is comfortable to him and feel’s safe.
 
Now I am left with the residue of his energy as it wafts through the text message, the facetime, the phone calls and emails.
 
Now I am left with him just ignoring anything he does not want to discuss because of the discomfort and his knowing that it will be emotional and I will speak my truth and he can do nothing to stop it.
 
Now I am left with him proving what his priorities are.
His bottom line is focused on his bank account and not on relationship.
His priority is to pretend that none of his actions had anything to do with anything.
His priority is to run and hide behind his masks, not seeing that he is turning into his worst nightmare. The people he always claimed he did not want to be like he is now mimicking them. He is now becoming the one’s that have since passed and he is honoring the patterns that they taught him as a little boy. He is now honoring a closed heart, a barren soul, a disconnected life.
 
In his desire to control, he does nothing more than share his rage and hatred. His fear.
 

But none of this is reason for him to steal my orgasm.

 
No, that is on me.
 
But I want to cast blame onto him.
I want to point the finger and say he did this to me.
 
Yes, this morning I sit here not wanting to open this thread of text messages between us because I feel all of it.
 
Last night, I did not open it in hopes to avoid it.
I wanted to avoid the negativity of his control.
I wanted to avoid looking at him on facetime with our nightly call for our kids.
I wanted to just not feel him for just one night, one day.
I wanted the freedom that flickers through my days.
I wanted to breathe.
 
But that last statement attached itself to me,
the thread just lingered and my ego ran and played with it.
 

“Really?”

He was inquiring why I had not answered I am sure,
he was frustrated that in his grand attempt to contact everyone in my home to get me to contact him had not worked,
he was upset that he could not control the situation and that I had made a stance to just say no.
 
Our children had not asked to speak to him so I felt no guilt in not speaking tonight.
 
We were busy having fun, connecting and laughing.
We were snuggling.
So why wreck a good moment.
A good memory for his desire to control?
 
Yes, this is the question of the morning.
Why allow him to steal it?
I held firm for my children.
For that moment.
But then I allowed that word, that thread to infiltrate my soul.
I allowed it to poke at me.
And I allowed it to steal the depth of orgasm that I was offered in the night hours with my lover.
 
I pushed myself to open,
I felt pain from doing this.
I shut myself in fear,
fear I would reveal to much.
I got captured by that damn text thread,
over and over again.
 
Into my head,
out of my body.
Away from my deep orgasm.
Keeping it surface.
All the while desiring what I had just tasted 24 hours before.
 

That mother f*cker messed up my orgasm.

F-*-C-K!!!!!!

 
I allowed him to.
Just like I allowed him to control to much of my life in our relationship. Just like I allowed him the power to act the way he did. Just like I allowed myself to stay,
to stay in the enviroment that was not conducive to my purpose,
my heart, my life.
 
YES
 
That mother f*cker messed up my orgasm.
But I made the choice to not release,
to breathe in.
To hold him and his energy
instead of leaning in to my lovers thrusts of passion,
my lovers presence,
my bliss.
 
He only messed it up because I allowed it.
And this morning, I sit here witnessing my ego, my pain, my rage, my holding.
 
Here I sit with my body breaking down.
My body screaming at me, “STOP! – Let that shit go!”
 
Here I sit, witnessing that he not only physically hurt me,
controlled me in ways that I was not aware of,
hid his truth from me,
Held anger toward me and lied to my face about it,
He not only did not love me and may have never,
but he continued to punch me in the heart.
He was willing to try and dominate my life,
the children’s life,
through textbook tactics of an abuser.
 
It is shocking to me.
It is on going.
It is healing to see things from this vantage point.
 

That mother f*cker messed up my orgasm.

And I am in gratitude for it.

 
Thank you Mother F*cker for being you and showing me my strength.
Thank you Mother F*cker for showing who you really are so that I could claim whom I am more.
Thank you Mother F*cker for the season, the reason and the blessings that we shared.
Thank you Mother F*cker for coming into my life and being EXACTLY what I needed.
 
With out you, I would not be me.
Empowered.
Guided.
Desiring more.
Certain.
 
Thank you for supporting my determination and drive.
Thank you for your disconnect to your emotions and heart, and showing what that does to a human, to a relationship, to a life and making me aware of where I meet you there and that…
 
I CHOOSE.
I choose to STOP meeting you there.
I choose instead to open up my heart.
To feel my emotions.
To forgive.
To heal.
To laugh.
To connect.
 

I choose to LIVE.

Unbound, free and on purpose.

 
Cut loose from the chains that you tried to hold me with.
Cut loose from the chains that I held myself with.
Cut loose from the fear.
 
YES
I choose.
I choose to…
 

Stop Existing & Start Living

Join Kendal TODAY for a F*ck Yes Life experience. Limited time access to 1:1 coaching and online coaching programs to help you master your FREEDOM based life NOW.

A Need for Connection

neednudeFor anyone that I work with face to face, you know that I have a white board in my office where I update according to what spirit guides to share and leave special quotes and thoughts, questions on this board for all my beautiful peep’s to explore internally. Recently one of my statements was, ” We connect through our drama.” This statement caught some attention and caused a few people to question if this was accurate or if they felt other wise. In my coaching I do many coaching calls with people all over the place and one of my dear clients I was speaking with brought out a comment from me that I felt pertinent to share here as well as further thought on it.
The comment from me was: “Through looking for approval we also gain connection.”
This comment seems to being hanging out in my practice right now. It keeps coming up with so many people. The questions/thought that follow it are:
  • Is asking for approval needy?
  • If this is so then this is why I don’t do it as much when I am feeling confident and centered in myself.
  • But when I have confidence and don’t need approval or opinions from others then is this disconnect?
  • So what is the best chosen path: disconnection or looking for connection through approval? How do they each benefit me?
Yes looking for approval and opinion is connection based. Is this needy?
It can be, but not always. We as human beings need connection for basic survival and health. Our psyche’s health depends on connection. For the same reason we create drama in our lives – which is another connection based activity– we also look for approval, insight, opinion. We as well down play our greatness or blessings and we build up our trauma or pain. These are tools of connection.
What you have to truly look at is what sort of connection are you desiring?
There are many levels of connection.
For the most part many people say they want a deep connection and to be authentically seen but if given the opportunity to have this they become scared and sabotage it through ego based relating. The majority of relationships, may they be friendships, work or intimate, even marriages and with children are surface connections. To authentically relate and allow yourself to be seen and felt as well as remain open to seeing and feeling another at this level is an incredibly hard space to stand in. Yet is a desire for most.
Confidence is something that only serves us if we are acting from our heart space, our soul. If we are in ego then confidence will disconnect us and actually come across as cockiness. A confident person is not a disconnected person. A confident person is someone willing to open themselves up and be seen, be felt, be human. They are comfortable asking for what they need, desire and they are also comfortable with hearing another’s authentic answer even if it means that the other is not good with giving what has been asked. Confidence is courage. Courage to see ones ego. Courage to make mistakes and ask questions. Courage to face the reality that our old programs will always pop up to haunt us and the only thing we can do is get better at seeing them and then acting differently. Courage to love ourselves just as we are and forgive ourselves for our past’s. Courage to embrace those that frustrate, hurt, anger or sadden us and realize that some where in our past we too have been guilty of doing the same in a similar energy, therefore there is no need to try and change where another is but just accept that their path is what it is as ours is as well.
The only way we disconnect is to shut ourselves down from the beauty of opening up.
When we choose openness and love we choose connection. First with ourselves (as the relationship we have with self is the set-point for all other relationships) and then with those in our lives.
So what is the best path? The best path is the one you are on. The best path is to learn to love and fully accept yourself in all your humanness. This is the ONLY path and you are never off of it, it is always with you and you will be traveling it even when you feel you are lost.
–KW
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Feeling like you could use direction, guidance, support or opening to your authentic self?
So here is where more than my Naked Musings come into play! How can I help you be the best you that YOU desire and crave Living that Fuck Yes Life that you know at your core is waiting for you but scares the hell out of you? Reach out to me to explore one of my Orgasm Coaching Programs for men, women and couples or email me (tantrictransformation@gmail.com) about getting on the waiting list for the VIP Fuck Yes to Life Coaching that is coming this Fall 2016!

What’s In It for Me? – Why Men OM. (Orgasmic Meditation)

whats in it for me

Why do Men OM? How “The 15-Minute Female Orgasm Changed My Life
FACT:
“Orgasmic Meditation is a wellness practice where two partners feel the sensation rising from a stroker (male or female) using their index finger to gently stroke the most sensitive part of the female anatomy for 15 minutes. There is no goal other than noticing the sensations that arise in the body. There is nothing extra.”- Trained OM Practitioners
Sounds great for the woman, but what about the guy? What’s in it for a man?

For me, the answer took a little over a year and a half to get clear on. According Tim Ferris’ book “The 4 Hour Body” (which I was reading to learn body hacking secrets) this practice called Orgasmic Meditation is claiming to give men and women access to a 15 minute Orgasm. Even though it sounded strange, I was curious.

However, after watching a couple of YouTube videos on the practice done by Deepak Chopra’s Channel and a Onetaste Men’s Panel, a thought persisted. What could I possible gain from a “meditation practice” where the presumed focal point is a clitoris?

I had a lot of discomfort around this puzzling question.
Was I missing out on something important?

So…out of pure curiosity, I choked up a couple hundred bucks and decided to get OM trained. Paying to have people show me how to stroke a clitoris for 15 minutes was a humbling stretch that sent me on a journey of unimaginable transformation and possibility.

The practice of OM has been both confronting and pleasurable. It exposed my shame and guilt around not only sexuality, but also being “a pleaser” who made decisions against himself in order to make others happy. This by and far was my most troubling self sabotage mechanism, and I had no clue of why it was or how to fix it.
So who was the old Kenny?

To keep it simple I was defensive and resistant to change. Always in my head… thinking too much, and feeling too little. These patterns lead to the demise of many otherwise amazing relationships and business opportunities. It was me against myself, and it was a war that I could not hope to sustain. Nobody wins in a war against one’s self.
Let me clarify what I meant by being a “pleaser”.
I mean that I desired nothing more than for others around me to be happy and find me acceptable. If you were happy, I felt great. If you were pissed I felt your displeasure. So I used my imagination to modify my behaviors to match others around me. I found out later that this was a survival tactic that has deeper roots; however you can ask me about that some other time. Bottom line is it felt like a curse because I could learn how to say things to make people feel better…even if those things were not in alignment with my truth. So I ended up putting myself in situations where I was angry with myself and others were perfectly happy. It was a problem that I would allow to fester and develop for about 20+ years.
The first step in Orgasmic Meditation is stating a desire.
It’s confronting to ask for what I want and be bold in that asking. The other person may not be receptive or they may be quite eager. This is the unknown about human interaction which kept me in my head imagining the safest thing to say. This is also the part of the practice that I and others have found to be the most transformative.
I had to face this unknown factor every time I would ask for an OM.
More importantly, I had to deal with what my partner desired every time she would ask for an adjustment in the middle of an Orgasmic Meditation. I was being worked by emotional desires of both my partner and I. Emotions that want so desperately to be expressed without being censored by our thoughts. I also encounter a usage for the lessons of OM when observing the question, “What would happen if other people found out that I OM?” then,” Why am I caring if they find out?” Damn, my shame and guilt is being challenged, I thought.
How do we learn to put the desires of others desires before our NEEDS? And yes…HUMAN TOUCH IS A NEED!

Well, if you are like me, then you probably learned sometime during childhood that certain emotions and desires were “inappropriate”. So there was this splitting off of desires between public desires that were ok to share, and private desires which we stopped ourselves from sharing due to fear. For me, those private desires led to experiencing shame and fear around not being good enough. It led to me desiring to please others ahead of myself.

Personally, my shame had always been intrigued by human sexuality since a friend brought a porno magazine to school in the 5th grade. I felt shameful from being turned on since I was taught that sex was a bad thing from sex education class and church sermons.
People who had sexual thoughts were sinners and deviants who got pregnant and ruined society with STD’s. If I was turned on, what does that mean about me? Does that make me a bad person? Would God disapprove and send me to hell? Does the woman I’m meeting think I only wanted to get to know her so I could sleep with her?
The result?
I now felt even more turned on and more awkward around emotions and women. No wonder… these beliefs while well meaning were fueling my fear, shame and guilt. The evil three which many of us carry around for way…way too long!
It’s these questions which led to me expressing my sexuality and emotions in unhealthy ways which ironically enough reinforced my guilt, shame and fear.

As mentioned earlier. I had a habit of meeting and then losing incredible women in my life. The response was the same from all the relationships; they loved the sexual connection, thought I was a good person…but wanted someone who was “emotionally available”.

I realized my sex/life was just repeating what I had seen in online porn/ TV/Hollywood movies and articles about sex/religion. I rarely had my own exploratory sexual/life experience and definitely didn’t feel comfortable around women/emotions. I couldn’t escape the judge making my every decision one that resulted in guilt. So I would suffer in the prison cell of my mind, just hoping that one day something or someone would magically come along to reverse my sentence and allow the guilt, shame, and fear to disappear.
I had no idea what it meant to be emotionally available, in the moment, or operating from desire.

I also had no female friends, because at my core…I did not understand how women could express the same emotions my shame had me to repress. Looking back… it’s obvious how I’ve grown and evolved as a man and human being from approaching Orgasmic Meditation as practice.

I’ve reversed nearly every challenge that I’ve had before learning this practice. I now operate from my core essence as a spiritual human being. I run on my intuition instead of running from it. I have strong female friends and partners with whom I share with, support, and aid in personal growth and clarification. I express my emotions raw and natural, instead of reacting to others. Most importantly I have exposed the mechanism behind guilt, fear, and shame.

So what is in it for men/women like me is the ability to be fully integrated as a present spiritual human. A human who lives with purpose and can be strong inside while being and sensitive to surroundings.
Now I smile on the inside when hearing this question after almost two years of making Orgasmic Meditation a practice. There are both men and women who consider OM to be something other than what it actually is, a wellness practice which exposes ignorance and heals shame.

Now if someone asks, “Why do I OM?”… The answer is simple.
It’s only 15 minutes and it feels great.
Why wouldn’t I?
Why wouldn’t anybody?

-Written By Kenny Jay, Member of the Dallas OM Community

Email Him at  kennyjay@connectedawakenings.com

kennyJayAbout Our Guest Contributor: 

Kenny Jay  has dedicated his life to uncovering deeper and more intuitive ways to connect with humanity from within. As an artist, lover, and agent of change, he enjoys sharing growth in all conscious forms.

In his 20’s he left the small town in Indiana where he grew up to travel all over the United States working on personal development. Constantly seeking to mentor and be mentored has led to a compassion and desire to for connecting humanity. Anyone growing up with him will tell you that he actually thought it would be cool to live the ultimate underdog story, because to him those make the best movies.

Thoughts on this Article from Kendal

KWdec2015

As a sex and relationship coach I share OM frequently with my clients. All of my clients, single men and women, as well as coupled men and women. I work with my clients using the OM practice on almost a daily basis. I would say that 95% of my client base is OMing either with me as the stroker or they have become part of the local community and have partners to OM with. I make sure that OM is a foundation practice taught to all of my couple clients as well. And the one thing I hear over and over again from everyone, male or female is, “What’s in it for the stroker? – typically the man.” I try and share from my perspective what the stroker gets as I do lot’s of stroking with those individuals who desire a female stroker and are working with me for greater empowerment and embracing of their sexuality and healing. But I never seem to really be able to express what a man get’s from this practice, as I am not a man clearly. And therefore with our social programming of how men think and what their needs and desires are we believe that if a man is not “getting off” in some way sexually then it is an empty experience for him. When in truth after working with literally a few thousand men over the course of my coaching and tantra practice, I have learned that men typically are far deeper than we expect and crave connection more than “getting off.” With this a smart man understands that if he cannot be in-touch fully with his body and be present then there is no way that he can be in-tune with his partners body or provide the intimacy that they both desire. He also knows that a woman’s orgasm is the ONLY thing that can take him to greater pleasure heights and it is through her release and surrender that he will be able to truly expereince bliss. Without this connection he will never have more then a pump-pump-eww-goo expereince. Blend these facts with the insights shared by our author Kenny here and I cannot imagine why men would not want to do this practice. In all honesty and rawness (which what else would you expect from me), if a man is struggling with being a stroker because he feels he is not getting anything from it other than turned on with no release than he is a sexually immature man and one who needs some harsh lessons in sexuality, relationships and self-growth and acceptance. He is far from being ready to tackle greater adventures of sexual growth and play that such things as Tantra can teach.

A Note About the Author

Yesterday Kenny shared this incredible article in a group on Facebook. I have been blessed to taste this man’s energy here and there over the last few years of his practice and will admit I look forward to getting to know him better as time moves on. Kenny Jay and I lost our OM virginity to each other as we were in the same training class together and from the first moments of walking through the classroom door my whole being was drawn to no one else in the room but him. I was certain that he was the one who had the energy that I could relax into and explore this practice with in a group setting. I was right, his presence level, vibrational pull, playfulness and just sheer desire was ever present in that first OM and every time I am around him since I feel it grow and expand. I would describe Kenny as a man on fire for life. A true blessing to this world. And I encourage any ladies who are in the OM practice or are just getting started and want a male stroker to please contact him. It is a rare man who can hold the attention and space the way he can.

2 Steps and 7 Years from Out the Door

the breakup1

“True love, it’s not something you have to work at.” – Previous Lover of Mine

Relationship breakdown when does it happen? How does it start? What are the road signs and how can we repair the damage before the door slams shut on our love?

Relationship take a massive amount of work and dedication to maintain. For anyone who is fearful of getting involved with a high maintenance personality I strongly suggest you re-evaluate relationship in general as ALL relationships ARE high maintenance. The main problem that we humans have today with our understanding or should I say expectation of intimate relationships is that they should just be and remain. Once established the relationship should allowing the parties involved to deal without worry with other life events such as work, children, friends, health, finances and even our down time or play time. Granted all of these life events are important but we tend to quickly forget and take for granted the primary calling of our heart: Our love relationship. We get trapped in the belief that we have time to make things work, to prove our love, to heal wounds and to get or give forgiveness. We have time to deepen our bonds and stoke the fires of passion. All the while forgetting that it is in this very moment that we choose to keep or loose what is most dear to us.

In my years now of working with couples and singles who have suffered relationship breakup and even when I look back at my past relationship(s) to witnessing what may seem like small events that are unavoidable in my current relationship I have come to be aware that D Day does not happen in a moment’s notice, it is long, slow and gradual to sneak up on lovers. It actually starts early on in relationship and is masked by many different names: Work related stress, fear of vocalization, avoidance, raising a family, old programs and expectations, etc.

Often it is the man that is the most shocked at the loss of relationship. Being so caught up in taking the lead on being the provider and protector of his lover and offspring he is blinded from reality and is calloused to the disconnect. Excuses form in his head and Mr. Fix it is always internally speaking out assuring that the plan that has been forged will save the day and show the love needed. Sadly, this is often not the case.

From the female view point she may be feeling lost, abandoned, fearful, smothered from her duties as a woman and holding up the self-imposed  as well as relationship and societal expectations put upon her. She from this viewpoint of the pain body sees her man not as Mr. Fix It but as Mr. Broken Promise. The more he slaves away trying to repair damage, save the day, and be her knight the more she sees a lost little boy who is trying to prove himself and has forgotten about her love and true needs. Over the course of years she withdraws more and more into herself, perhaps hiding behind a masculine energy where she feels more secure and in control now because dancing in her feminine causes to much heart and soul pain, once soft and vulnerable to her mate she has now turned cold, distant and duty focused. Mr. Fix It finds himself years later wondering how this disconnect and lack of intimacy was bread and comforts himself with the reality check of normalcy and the excuse of life, not truly wanting to delve into the dark waters of truth that seven short years prior when he chose to innocently break her trust and she chose to not ignite her fire and test him out of fear of losing him was the actual breeding ground. In that moment from the past neither party were consciously aware of the long term statement being made and tossing in of the towel that they were jointly making, years later after struggle, arguments and enough pain that they both have slowly shut the door on each other the only conclusion left is that love has died and the relationship is too toxic to maintain. The question then seeps in “Did I ever really connect, love this person?” “Was our love ever more then surface?” “When did this all fall apart?”

Multiple things cause these occurrences. The main one is always the breaking of trust.

Trust is easily given on the front end of a relationship. It is a sacred gift that two people give and share in hopes of bliss and security. It is quick to be poured to create foundation for the building of what is often a relationship based out of need and fear of being alone, forcing both parties to act quickly and commit. This is what I refer to as: Hiring quickly.

Women are often more guilty of this practice of hiring quickly than men. Men get the bad rap of being noncommittal, while women shortly after the first few dates are planning out the wedding party and invites. The result of pushing for a quick hire (no matter which side or if both parties are doing it) is that neither side has earned the trust needed to support a healthy relationship and thus, it is common place to discover a few years down the road that you have presumed that your love, devotion and time were equally met and wanted, when in fact you may have actually bought into a fictional character and are sleeping with a stranger of which you have no real bonds or interests with. The problem now is that you are invested, you are locked into a relationship, a picture and responsibility. You now find yourself in the long term process of firing this person you hired so quickly. This firing process may take months and often takes years. Why? Because even though our reality check is before us we still care and we want to be wise about how to disengage. Or so we tell ourselves.

We humans are all a little masochistic at times and in our relationship breakups we show this off. We enjoy pain, suffering and the attention that comes with it. But that is another topic all on its own.

True trustworthiness and trust building is the most valuable aspect to any relationship. It is the one thing that keeps harvesting love through tough times, it allows lovers to be fierce in following a purpose and in opening to vulnerability. Without a dose of supported trust in a relationship the deep penetration of love and passion never materializes. Trust is also, the most fragile of love components.

For a woman trust is broken when her lover does not acknowledge intimacy. Whe he makes light of her hormones (moods) and dismisses or hides from her fires. She loses faith in her man when he steps away from being her lover and uses a fatherly dominant energy of control with her, causing her to feel unheard and not important/valuable. Trust is broken when passion is squelched (no matter the logical reasons behind it), it is diminished when intimacy is booted by stress release. When boundaries are crossed. In any moment that the feminine feels misplaced, a piece of meat, property, misunderstood, like a naive little girl or threatened, when he walks away from her pain, tears, voice and needs (even if she commands him to go) trust takes a massive hit to the gut.

For men trust is broken when a woman fights for Alfa dog role, when she belittles him and questions his every motive. When she is overly motherly, dominant and superficial with her feelings. Every time a woman pulls away her love and softness from her lover his trust in the relationship, in the security of love and her heart is threatened. Her harshness shuns trust and forces disconnect.

For both man and woman, trust is damaged when expectation is placed on our lover or the relationship. If we have a painting in our head of how our partner should show up in the relationship at all times, how they should behave, or what the relationship should look like in any fashion we set ourselves up for failure. Another major trust killer is establishing false hopes. By this I mean promises. Often we promise our lover that we will do or not do this or that. It can be the simplest of items, from I promise to get in shape and take better care of myself to setting goals repeatedly for financial rewards or promising a romantic trip or family vacation. False promises no matter how real they may appear to the one stating them can be pushed out to a degree but repeatedly stating and pushing out, making excuses for why they did not materialize will only add to the breakdown of trust.

For woman to open to trust she must be willing to open to vulnerability.

For man to open to trust he must be willing to surrender to his woman’s vulnerability.

The great feminine craves a strong, dependable masculine who WILL NOT waiver from his love with her. Whom is willing to jump through the flames of her pained heart and past and break her open to the orgasm of life. She craves his heartbeat to guide her, lead her and to have the passionate taker of her feminine reigns ignite her creative juices and dance through life’s rollercoaster ride.

The great masculine longs for heartfelt support, he needs at his core to be brought out of the dark logical aspects of life that cause him tension and stress and to be opened to his woman’s bliss and surrender to him. He craves to be nourished in her bosom and replenished from her loves nectar. He needs the safety of her openness and radiance in order to be the knight that she desires.

Steps to Prevention

  • Hire slow, fire fast if need be.
  • Limit expectations of lover, self and relationship
  • Take responsibility for your own happiness first. Looking for another to fulfill your happiness is only going to lead you to a painful situation.
  • Discuss boundaries and honor them at all cost.
  • Discuss roles in family/relationship. What is each party comfortable with?
  • Make time for love, sex, intimacy and fighting.
  • Be willing and even hungry to stand in your partners fires.
  • Lean into love when it is the hardest thing to do and you want to run.
  • Never accept a surface answer from your woman.
  • Never chase your man, give space without question.
  • Communicate. Communicate.
  • Learn to accept that men and woman are wired differently.

Remember that what you need and crave the most form your partner will show up as your greatest irritation as well: Women most of you want a leader, provider, and protector, strong in himself man, you do not truly want someone who can be whipped and dominated. You want a man that will stand there and take your heat, support you’re breaking down in hormonal imbalance and passionately take you into new realms of pleasure as well. You want someone who will be your best friend and make you laugh as well as a man who will sacrifice his very life to save yours. This can translate to: Why is he so focused on blah, blah, he is detached, being an asshole, being childish, making light of a heavy situation, over sexed, etc.

Men, most of you want a woman who is open with her radiance, she lights up the room and takes your breath away, she is nourishing, supportive, warm, and soft. She is creative and fluid. She hears you and gives you space, she challenges you but does not fight you on being the man, and she is passionate and surrenders to your leadership. She trusts you. This can translate to moodiness, crazy female shit, motherly, protective, short tempered, flaky or blonde, needy, high maintenance, driven.

Constantly reevaluate all the above. Never take anything for granted.

Silence or lack of input is not the sign of a healthy relationship.

If you ask your partner, how am I doing, how are we doing, what can I improve, or if you feel a disconnect and you ask your partner if there is anything you can do, get better at or what they feel needs work on in the relationship and the answer is : “It’s (you/me) are all good. There is nothing that needs improvement. I am happy, no complaints.” Then it’s time to call BULLSHIT!

There is ALWAYS a need for improvement, communication and vulnerability.

Otherwise kiss each other goodbye, because the door just slammed shut and it is 7 years later!

Why Women Fake Orgasm…

Most Women Fake Orgasms because Most Men Fake Foreplay. ~ Bella Bliss

embrace grab butt

Today I read this quote in an article and found myself nodding yes to its raw truth. It is a shame that so many women have never experienced a man who could be present enough, last long enough or even have the understanding of what it truly takes to get a woman off.

Over the last few weeks I have been blessed with this topic coming up repeatedly.

One afternoon after our Orgasm Camp Workshop I was driving around town with my 80 year old mother. She had attended the Orgasm Camp workshop and was amazed at what she saw, witnessed and learned. She asked me if it was honestly possible for a woman to be in such raptures of orgasm as our model was in class or was the model just “faking it?’ I assured her that I knew first handedly that it was indeed possible and the way we women were designed, however due to many belief structures, our physical stress levels, our societal inability to fully connect and our focus on sex and orgasm merely being on the genitals and the friction between them that we hardly ever achieved this rapture.

I then went on to discuss a recent love making event that I had had with a long term lover of mine. I shared with her how this man took the time to explore, play and arouse my whole being. Thanks to this man, I have grown to appreciate and understand that a mature man is not just in to sexing a woman so that he can cum, but more importantly that his pleasure is bi-product of her bliss. The more he can build pleasure in her and bring her not just to climax and orgasm but to fully surrendering to him, herself and the heartbeat of the universe, the more ecstatic bliss he experiences as well.

This only happens though when a man is willing to take the time to lay the foundation. If he jumps into diving into her right away then she is far from being physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually ready for the event and it turns into a broadway play instead, where she ends up faking it because she is quickly board and empty from the event. No longer even feeling attraction to her lover.

Interestingly enough a few days later I witnessed a few episodes of just this happening. Pushing boundaries and wanting to educate myself I found my partner and self at a swingers club in Dallas. At first the couple’s were all shy acting, not connecting or mingling like I had anticipated, but then as the night went on, the majority of couples moved into the partiality private sexing rooms. Here is where I noticed ton’s of friction sex happening. Standing among the numerous hot scenes that were taking place I found myself going deeper into what was actually happening. These couple’s had gone from zero to 80 in less then 3 minutes and the women were going through the motions. This was obvious from their bored faces.

Two scenes stood out to me the strongest: A woman was laying on her back naked with one man kneeling beside her, zipper down and cock in her mouth while another man thumbed around her vulva and flicked at her clit. She wiggled trying to help this man aim his fingers better and get the right pressure but soon the man who she was giving a blow job to came and quickly moved off the bed to zip his pants up. There she was a whopping 5 minutes into what could have been a hot threesome fantasy being acted out and one man was already down for the count. Not missing a beat the man who had put in 5 minutes of stumbling around her vulva without care was now taking her from behind and guess what 3 minutes later was zipping up his pants. She moaned and grabbed at he sheets beneath her so that her lovers would feel like they had accomplished something but her face and body spoke otherwise.

Scene two: In the bed next to the above scene there was a woman laying on her stomach naked with her lover lover straddling her and penetrating her with great force and effort while holding her head down in an animalistic raw fashion as though he was fully taking her for his own, a man stand beside them watching and I am sure wishing to be part of this game. The man penetrating the woman was forceful, full of raw masculine energy but the woman again looked blank. Perhaps she was thinking about work she needed to get done the next day or items for the kids, whatever she was thinking about it was far from what her physical body was going through. Although she too moaned, made some faces and tightened her fists. Shortly thereafter a long, large groan came from the man and he pressed deep into her and was done. She popped up and acted like it was all good. 10 minutes of non-orgasmic, disconnected wannabee sexing.

Both of these scenes could have been earth shaking, fulfilling, powerful events for all parties, but that is not the reality.

If any of these men had just taken the time and energy to stroke her the right way, they could have been gifted with a woman turning into a true orgasmic goddess not just downloading zone for their ejaculation.

And here we have the #1 issue in sexual relationships: He comes too soon, she can’t ever seem to get there so fakes it. Time goes by, distance grown’s and the relationship becomes sexless. Thus resulting in numerous issues.

Sound familiar?
Want to learn how to prevent this in your sexing?

I can assist you with this and so many other sex and relating issues that are common place in today’s world. As well as teach you how important having gourmet sex is to the chemistry of the rest of your life.

If you are one of the people who believe that you have to have serious problems or trauma in sex in order to have sufficient use of a coach or educator then you need to read this article: 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Sex Coaching