I HAVE DECIDED THAT MY NEW PROFESSION IS TO BE AN ENERGY DOMINATRIX.
I mean I know that it is fun,
because many of my “work” days….
if you can call them that…
they are more play days because energy is fucking fun,
are just about that.
Dominating people’s energy.
Manipulating it you could say,
and then teasing it,
playing with the quantum field that is all around all of us and that we are manifest from.
Energy is playful.
Energy does not react well to being forced into some tight container where it cannot flow.
Sure when you constrict energy you certainly create a surge,
but that surge often does not come out the way that we desire it too,
and it is most often not playful.
Let alone sexy.
We humans have been taught to hold our shit together at all cost.
To not feel because it will make us vulnerable.
To not reveal our emotions because we will not be taken seriously.
We have been taught, brainwashed into believing that we are to constrict our energy.
We have been told that this is the proper, safe and mature thing to do.
When in truth what this containment of our energy does is the direct opposite to the desired reaction.
IT CREATES ENERGETIC IMMATURITY.
We never learn how to manage our energy.
How to hold it.
How to feel it.
How to direct and guide it.
Leaving us feeling scared of who we are and our power.
Making us separate from our truth and feel lost, abandoned in life.
And all because we never were trained on the importance and power of our energy.
Let alone the simple fact that we are all energy beings.
Science today is finally catching up to ancient spirituality.
And it is proving that thought creates emotion,
it is proving that our consciousness directs events and actual energy flow.
We can heal ourselves and the world with our consciousness or we can destroy it.
Our desire to control the situation,
to control others and the end results,
our desire to have a timeline and know what to expect,
our desire to have problems and make logical sense out of everything,
is evidence of how disconnected we humans are still from our souls.
And thus from our truth.
And our truth is that we are fucking powerful.
The same consciousness that created universes moves through each of us and is wanting to expand.
Expansion of energy is not about forcing God into a human sized box of control.
Harnessing your energy has nothing to do with squishing it into some perfect package that society has told you it needs to be in nor avoiding your feelings and emotions,
avoiding your beautiful heart center.
Expansion and harnessing energy means to tap into your heart,
to feel your desires fully, accept where your life and vibration is at, look at what you need to do to bring your vibration into a matching frequency with what you desire,
and LET THE FUCK GO!
Play with your life.
Play with your power.
Let play and fun rule your world,
meaning ENJOY LIFE.
This is how you manipulate energy and design the life of your dreams.
You want that lover in your bed.
The money in your bank.
The freedom in your time.
Well the only way to get it is to learn how to enjoy the life that you are living today and to play with your day, your energy, and lean into letting go of your need to control everything and get it all right.
You will never be done.
Do you get that?
You are never going to be done until you are six feet under.
Then, then you will be released from this physical bondage where you are learning how powerful you are.
Once released from that bondage, you KNOW how powerful you are.
But this life that you are so terrified of living,
so scraed of fucking up in,
this life needs you to love it and enjoy it so that it can provide you with tons of opportunities to love it and enjoy it.
Otherwise you will exist all your days here on earth living with the energetic immaturity that keeps landing you into pain and suffering, loss and abandonment, fear and lack of worth, as well as not knowing how to deal with self and emotions.
You see when I say that my new professional title should be energy dominatrix,
What I am saying is that I help my beautiful fellow souls access their power through them learning how to surrender and trust me to guide the energy that they have held constricted and been fearful of feeling for years into a state of full being processing.
Where they get an opportunity to witness themselves in a fresh light,
Yes they move from the armoured up, tense, stressed and anxious soul who is hiding from their greatness into an individual who knows who the fuck they are and is in love with themselves, their lives, their past and sees the path before them because they finally get that they are the architecht who is designing it.
They learn to surrender to themselves.
Surrender to their truth.
Surrender to enjoyment.
and they smile more.
they laugh more.
they sex whole heartedly more.
they penetrate the world with who they really are and the world receives them fully and grants them that turned on, ignited fuck yes life where all those who are still blind to thier power and caught up in their egos and thoughts stand back and say,
“They are so lucky.”
But it is not luck.
It is creation.
And they learn how to do it by letting go of all that shit that they have been holding on to and that has been weighing them down.
They let it go on my integration table.
They let it go in our walks together.
They let it go in our conversations.
They let it go in our deep soulful eye gazing sessions.
They let it go in our holding sessions.
They let it go with tears and laughter,
by being vulnerable and letting me see them.
They let it go and they end up feeling full on who they are.
This is where we all are to be my love.
This is the truth.
And in reality,
you don’t need me for any of this.
All you need is to love yourself enough to commit to letting all that shit go once and for all and dare to step out and trust that life has your back.
Dare to believe that you are the architect of your life.
Dare to love yourself in full abandon.
Because baby you are worthy of it all.
And YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN GIFT IT TO YOURSELF.
Now for anyone else out there,
who would like a little assistance,
well I am hear to smack you, kick your ass,
snuggle you as you blow snot in my hair,
watch tears fall from your beautiful eyes,
and build you up in love.
That just requires you being sick and tired of messing around and feeling the way that you do.
It’s time to level up your life and say FUCK YES TO YOU!
And let YOU BE SEEN.
I see YOU.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Global peeps reach out about my October Asskickery Program that is happening now. I have only 4 spots still open for this program that will get you some loving smackdown and pick up over 4 weeks of private intensive coaching with me. Message me for deets.
We start October 1st, 2020
you may want a bit more intensity and some hands on.
CHeck out my signature Tantric Integration Bodywork Series where I really am an energy dominatrix 🙂 with your best interest at hand…
Reach out and ask me about Program and opportunities there.
*Photo Credit Dendelion Images – Plano Texas
SOME DAYS YOU QUESTION…
IS IT EVEN WORTH IT?
You know those days where your chest feels so tight it hurts to even try and take a shallow breath,
and you know that what you really need to do is to breathe deep and force yourself to just relax,
but you can’t.
It hurts too effing bad.
You feel like your chest is going to erupt at any second from the pressure that it is under and your heart is beating faster than it should,
you woke with enough anxiety for two countries of people,
and your mind won’t stick to anything positive.
worry dances around you assuring you that today is going to suck,
just like life is sucking. And you question….
Is any of this even worth it?
Does anyone really care?
Do I matter?
And if I do, is it just so I can be of service without support coming back? Am I only here on this planet to be used?
The blame game is a nasty one,
and you know it’s not even accurate,
but there you go anyway,
down that rabbit hole,
feeding yourself another solemn tail of defeat and suffering.
Your mind is a chatter with how you need to just put an end to your suffering,
you have no reason to continue so it appears,
your heart is shattered and no one sees it,
You are lost.
Lost in your pain.
Lost in your inability to love yourself.
Lost in your fear of change.
Lost in desire to control and you cannot see it.
Your ego has you by the balls,
and there is a strange fulfillment in it.
Shhhh…. don’t tell anyone that in your pain you are comfortable.
But it is true.
You are happy here in this suffering,
it is serving you for the time.
It is gaining you the attention that you desire,
it is getting those who are around you to notice you somehow.
Your vibe is so low that they feel a need to check in on you,
to inquire and at very least pretend that they care.
And to this there is an inner smiling.
But not for long.
Quickly you dismiss it.
And move on to another thought of your inner suffering,
pointing more fingers,
spewing out hatred and pain to anyone who will listen.
Confirming your misery.
And controlling that it will not leave you.
Yes my love,
Did you catch that?
You are controlling your pain.
You are forcing it to stay with you.
You are the one who is hanging on to it.
You are truly that powerful,
that you have chosen to put yourself into this bondage.
You are truly that genius to have devised a life of suffering that is so masterfully planned out that even you yourself can no longer see it for the mastery that it is in your power.
Choosing blindness over sight.
Choosing to remain harnessed to the inner demons that you feed with your thoughts and actions.
Choosing to control them,
through your dictatorship of what you cannot do.
But if you could just breathe.
If you could just allow yourself to settle down into that cavity of your heart and feel the beating of its beauty and power.
If you could if only for today allow yourself a moment to release all the emotion that resides there,
let the tears stream without attachment,
without a need to think about them,
but to just let them go.
If you could do this and breathe.
Deeper and deeper,
letting yourself feel yourself and love,
love you for all your humanness,
and your tender beauty and powerful soul,
then perhaps you would be able to turn the corner to this self inflicted suffering.
Perhaps then you could come from your strength.
From that place deep inside of you that knows its worthiness,
embraces its power and see’s how it is truly the creator of your life.
If you could do this for only one minute today,
just one focused minute imagine the glorious thing that could stem from this place?
Imagine what it would be like to ALLOW yourself to turn that corner and to STOP the suffering game that you are playing with yourself.
Imagine what life might be like if instead of denying yourself the ability to feel good,
you in turn started to say yes to yourself with the things that you know you desire, crave and need.
You question your worthiness…
yet you do not treat yourself with any worth.
You question if you should continue on…
yet you deny the allowance of living from a yes point to self.
You roll in the muddy contamination of your thoughts claiming that you are shackled there while holding the key to your freedom.
And the reality is the same for any of us…
We will only make a change when we are ready to make that change.
When we are done with the service that pain offers.
When we are done controlling from this vibrational level and we are ready to truly step into our power of self love.
Ready to surrender to your true nature,
to create a life of thriving.
But first you must question…..
How is this suffering serving me?
Why am I so attached to this pain?
How is controlling my life through pain supporting my current desires?
And you must go deep with yourself if you are to unblock yourself from what you claim you no longer want.
You must get authentically raw with yourself and be willing to see those inner shadows for what they are….
for how you….
YES YOU ARE THEIR MASTER.
Are you ready to turn the corner?
Because this world needs your light.
And you my dear,
YOU ARE WORTHY OF A LIFE OF THRIVING.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Stop with the mind f-ck games that you are playing with yourself and learn the secrets to thriving now.
You can create the life of your dreams in one minute a day.
Message me for deet’s on the Magick Minute Program.
There I was sitting on my bed naked with my morning cup of coffee when he said it….
I know what he was saying was to be a compliment.
I know that what he meant was that I was amazing and that he loved me.
I logically understand.
But that’s not how it translated after it got grabbed up by a wound from my past.
Okay so let me explain about what I am saying here.
You see in my house we have this thing,
and you simply never know where these conversations will go,
nor how they will get stirred up and be birthed either.
It is drastically different each day.
after some decent sexing,
I found my lover and I in bed,
I was naked drinking my morning cup of coffee,
I opened my phone and saw something on all the pedphillia conversations that are currently bouncing around. It struck a chord with me instantly and I shared with him my utter disgust and anger on the concept that pedaphillia should be accepted as a representation of love. I showed him an image that is being put up in Denver, Colorado right now of a rainbow background and silhouette of a man and small child that might be four years at best chasing butterflies, the image says,
” Pedophiles are people too. Because Love is Love.”
My share to him on this topic was that yeah, pedophiles are people too, but having sexual feelings or engagement toward a child, especially a small child is not love and that a child does not have the emotional/mental or physical maturity to understand. These “people” are stealing not just the innocents of our children but actually causing emotional/mental and physical damage to the child.
And that sure AF is not okay and is NOT love.
After that conversation and agreement on the topic, I told him I needed to get to work and write a musing for the day and that my topic was going to be,
“My boyfriend would be perceived a sex addict if he was dating someone else…”
To this he smiled at me and said,
“If you were with you, you would be a sex addict too.”
And this is where it all went dark folks.
In his compliment he unknowingly triggered an old wound.
Now an average and normal woman would have said something coy, kicked the statement out without too much attention, or done whatever she could to change topics if she were triggered,
but not I…..
took a deep breath and allowed myself to feel the trigger.
To feel this wound that just got scratched.
I looked at the wound,
identified that it was not in current and that he had no ill will in his statement.
However, the truth was it triggered me.
And I did not want to spend my day retracted from him or life in general with this trigger and wound playing tennis in my psyche.
So I spoke up.
“That was a triggering statement you just made.”
And then I shared why.
I shared that four years prior when I was in an open relationship,
I found myself in a threesome with my primary two lovers,
who’s intent was to create a yummie experience one day for me where they would both ravish me and we would play and enjoy one another.
However my ex got so excited he did not apply the time or attention needed to my physical body that I needed him to take.
Even though I was highly turned on,
my physical being was not caught up to my mental and emotional turn on for the experience.
And he quickly grabbed a glass dildo with no lube on it and penetrated me with it,
unfortunately it was rough at entry and because I was not organically lubricated yet it tore the delicate skin of my vaginal lining,
leaving me feeling torn and burning for days to come.
He did not take much time going down on me as he was too excited about the whole event and penetrated me quickly after removing the glass dildo.
His hast and excitement level created the scenario of him being a two pump chump in this moment,
and he came so quickly that I barely even knew what had happened.
He then looked at me and said,
“If you were not so hot I could withhold it better.”
Again, I believe that his intent was to compliment,
but what he actually was doing was blaming me,
making me responsible for his inability to last,
to be in control of his body,
his thoughts and feelings,
his sexual energy.
And he tossed his power over to me and made me responsible.
My feeling after hearing this was,
” I need to not be me.”
I felt like if I did not moan that way,
if I was not playful like I am,
If my body did not look like this,
If I was not open the way I am,
Then he would be able to stay with me longer,
last longer and I too could engage in pleasure in these moments.
It was my fault that my partner has premature ejaculation issues.
Fast forward to current moment and my partner telling me that if I was with me, I would be a sex addict too….
This too speaks that I am responsible for my partners thoughts, actions, desires, habits, feelings, etc.
He is not responsible.
He is innocent and cannot help himself.
It’s my fault for being me the way that i am that causes the issues,
So what should I do if I am not okay with an issue?
Well I need to shut my shit down.
I need to not be as turned on.
I need to guard my moans.
I need to go limp.
I need to not engage in sex.
I need to not dress this way or that.
I need to not be as playful.
I need to change myself so that he can handle being around me.
But THIS is not what men want their women to do in truth.
And most men don’t actually believe that it’s the woman’s fault that they have weak stamina or high turn on.
Not fully that is.
They do however blame her to a degree,
just like she takes responsibility.
It’s because of how we were raised.
Girls are told from a young age that we are responsible for how boys look at us.
How they speak to us.
That if we wear yoga pants then we are at fault for a guy thinking things or desiring things.
If a girl or woman gets raped or any sexual harassment then its her fault typically because she was asking for it based on her looks, choice in clothes, attitude, playfulness, how she blinked or smiled, etc.
And guys are told that,
“Boys will be boys and that they cannot help it.”
This all steals one’s individual power from them.
Men become disempowered by escaping responsibility for their own consciousness or lack thereof, their feelings, desires and actions, they get to turn away from and hand the reins of power over to the woman.
Women lose their power by believing this responsibility transfer and shutting themselves down, changing who they are so to not cause issues.
I believe that Namaste Moore puts its so well,
And her statement is true for ALL subjects of our life.
“People who are not conscious about their OWN power will always sound the alarm about other people’s power. People who recognize their own power… understand that no one has power over them and they have power over no one else. Freedom.”
It’s easy to see the truth in this statement when we look at some of the political and world topics of current,
But can you see its truth in our sexing and relationships as well.
Because it’s there too.
In owning that we get triggered,
In speaking up about what is stirring in us as to prevent separation from self and thus another and life,
We reclaim our power.
In pausing on our words and asking ourselves,
“Is this a statement of love or of fear?”
In looking at what our words are actually speaking,
Because often we try to compliment but in truth a transfer of our power to another is happening.
And when these transfers in power happen we create chaos in our relationships,
In communication we thus create contrast that feels uncomfortable because we are not consciously processing and taking responsibility for our own inner shadow lands.
Today look at your relationships.
Look at your sexing.
Look at your expectations and desires.
And ask yourself if you are owning your power or handing it over to someone else?
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Want to learn how you can claim your power and have a turned on life and relationship?
Reach out to me today for deet’s on couples or individual coaching now.
THERE IS A LIE WE BELIEVE THAT CHANGES ALL OF OUR UNDERSTANDING….
With all the worlds chaos and turbulence,
I am witnessing a massive amount of said “lightworkers,” christians, believers of faith and LOA, genuianly “good” souls fall prey to the misconception around a lie that they have bought full heartedly into,
and that lie is AWARENESS = ALWAYS BEING POSITIVE
It is funny how we humans are so eager to jump down one another’s throats in ego and pain,
we point fingers of blame and cuddle up in our victimhood statues of reasoning,
quick to accuse others of being blind, low vibe or even spiritually bypassing issues and feelings,
but then in the same turn of spewing out all these negative charges,
show frustration and even fear toward truth that does hurt.
Toward truth and awareness that does not fit into what we call “spiritual” or “high vibe.”
We shun the concept of awareness that is not always uplifting.
As if seeing the true pain, sorrow, or darkness that does mask each of us in it’s own way and the world in general can just be ignored fully and by ignoring and ONLY focusing in on the good that we will somehow make the evils go away.
It is sort of like the child who is afraid of monsters in the closet so they hide their head under the blankets of their bed and tell themselves as long as I think happy thoughts then there will be no monsters,
but in reality the monsters they are hiding from are their abusive parents fighting in the hallway.
We will never make the evils of this world go away.
That is the truth.
What we perceive as evil is here for a reason,
it is upon this planet to create contrast.
Without contrast in our world we can never know what we desire or want for,
we would not evolve and expand.
It is only through contrast that we fully experience living.
But here is the conundrum for humanity,
how are we to manifest good if we witness the bad and get caught in it?
The key is getting caught in it or not.
There is this concept that feeling sad, angry, upset or any emotion that is not even keel is not good, is not natural.
It is encouraged in many belief structures and in how we raise our children to hold in the pain and anger and not let it out unless we want to be perceived as weak.
This is a falsity and one of the most unhealthy programs that we teach.
WIth this we have enwrapped ourselves in the idea that AWARENESS ….
is only and always to be UPLIFTING.
And when we share awareness that is not uplifting that we are in turn trying to fear monger.
Now don’t get me wrong, what we are all witnessing in our world of current and for many generations is just that from our leaders and media,
we are for sure being programmed by our trust in them and through television programming systems,
just as planned by those that control.
I am not speaking of the agendas of those who crave more power and are corrupt to the core,
I am speaking about the rest of society waking up to the truths that these dark souls are hiding in plain sight from us.
I am speaking about the fact that in order for you to heal anything or make powerful uplifting changes that you must….
First, become AWARE of the issue. And this may not be uplifting to awaken to the reality of a nightmare.
And second, see what the contrast that this nightmare is offering to your level of desire.
From here we can make significant change.
And yes focusing in on it after this point,
getting caught in all its entrappings of fear and darkness will not change it to what you desire for instead but, rather help it to gain power through the momentum of your fear around any such troublesome topic.
Your awareness transformed to true sight of what the opportunity that is actually being offered,
which is a desire for something better,
for love and peace,
equality and safety,
can then be fully embraced.
It is here in this AWARENESS which is uplifting when we empower ourselves with our true heart,
that what we focus on grows.
Here we can now CONSCIOUSLY move ourselves from witnessing the nightmare to putting our focus on what is good in our world.
When we consciously choose to move our focus and experience onto good we create more good.
And we do not get caught in the nightmare although we are aware of it existing.
This is not spiritual bypassing or ignoring of any sort,
it is being proactive with our life expression, thoughts and feelings.
It is not just hiding our heads under the covers and “trying” to think good thoughts,
but in turn moving ourselves authentically into good feeling experiences which means to focus on the sun coming up each day, the people in our lives who love us, our dog excited we are playing fetch, our child hugging us, our lover desiring us, the food in our fridge, that our car works, our heart is beating, the birds are chirping, Ozarks has a season 4….lol
Whatever makes you genuinely feel good.
That is the ticket.
And to hold this good feeling though for just one minute each day without doubt.
Did you catch that?
Doubt destroys the feeling.
Doubt pulls us back to the fear and the hiding,
and from there we fall into our pain bodies and fight amongst ourselves which in turn keeps the fires of our world burning ever so more greatly.
To create the world and the life that we desire most for,
we must become AWARE and we MUST learn to find the beauty and empowerment in our own darkness,
When we can be grateful for our darkness we will then be able to see its truth in its offering to us and make conscious choices to breathe into life the world we crave most for.
Embrace the contrast.
And AS Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Learn to manifest an unbound life today.
IT TAKES COURAGE TO HAVE AN AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIP.
I have this belief that ALL…
Yes ALL people who are in an intimate relationship with another need to go through the inquiry and inner work as well and relating work that those who have successful open relationships do.
I believe that no matter how you label your relationship,
that you should explore authentic relating for what it really means.
Most monogamous couples “think” they know each other.
“Think” they love each other unconditionally.
“Think” they are best friends and trust each other.
“Think” they are doing it right and will have success.
Most people who decide to open up their relationships choose to do so at a low period in their primary relationship and “think” that opening up will fix something.
“Think” that you can just overnight shift gears and that this thing called inner work and couples work to set agreements, learn each other and communicate are not needed.
That you can go zero to 100 overnight so to speak.
Both cases are detrimental to the relationship.
And it’s because the number one issue in relationships is communication.
And I am sure you may be among the many who believes that you communicate well with your partner.
You may think that you got this fully taken care of ,
but I ask you, is this true?
98% of couples that I have worked with over the last 15+ years come in telling me that they are good if not great communicators,
that their partner is their bestie and they can tell them anything.
But not three sessions into coaching and the truth is discovered.
They suck at communication.
Because they keep it at a surface level.
There is no depth in relating.
And if they touch on depth,
it causes confrontation,
triggers old wounds and fears,
and both parties end up dancing in their ego’s and speaking from their pain bodies instead of their heart centers.
So they avoid it.
They shut their truth down,
they tell their partners a softer version or nothing at all,
and they hide the best they can from themselves for as long as they can as to not rock the perfect picture of a loving connected relationship that they are wanting to paint.
When the hard fact is that they have challenges.
It takes courage to speak up in a relationship.
It takes courage to be real in a relationship.
It takes courage to listen without trying to change, control or freak out about what might be being shared in a relationship.
It takes courage to remain stable inside yourself when living authentically with another.
And it takes courage to be raw and real with yourself so you can do all the above.
But f-ck is it worth it,
just like you are worth it and so is your relationship.
You see, if you are among the many who are not operating at this level of authentic relationship but desire open communication, unconditional love, acceptance, honesty and truth in the relationship and from your partner,
then how is it ever going to be possible if you live hiding from yourself and basing your feelings and actions in fear of losing your partner?
If you are making your partner responsible for your happiness and worthiness then how can they ever just be themselves and state their truth to you?
If you are holding expectations as to what they need to do, how they need to act then how can they share their truth with you about anything that may pose a difficult conversation? And how is this unconditional love?
If you define yourself based on your relationship,
which simply means you are not strong in WHO YOU ARE,
then how can you be truthful with another?
To be authentic, truthful and honest with another you first must KNOW YOURSELF and be strong at your core so you are not rocked by another.
Remember that humans are fickle.
We ebb and flow,
we all are live waves in our feelings, emotions, thoughts and that we get caught in our wounds as well as our desires.
In authentic relating we understand that
there is your business,
there is my business,
and there is God’s business,
and that we each are ONLY RESPONSIBLE for one of those.
Anything else is sticking our noses where they are not needed.
The most unconditional loving person is the person who knows themselves, loves themselves first, and can embrace their shadow self as well as their glorious light.
They know their worth and it is not dependent on any outside source.
This is a person who can love deeply and unconditionally.
This is a person who can truly be honest and real.
This is a person who is self-empowered and therefore has the ability to allow for their partner to grow, to speak, to change.
As it is so intended.
relationships need to evolve over time.
This means that both parties need to do the same.
Expecting ourselves, our partners or the relationship to remain the same,
causes stagnation to our individual growth and the evolution of our love and relationships.
This is the coward’s path.
And it typically results in two things:
It takes courage to relate authentically.
It takes courage to relate in unconditional love.
It takes courage to catch our control issues in a relationship.
It takes courage to see our fear based actions, feelings and thoughts for what they are… fear of our own inadequacies, fear of our worthiness and lack of value, the lack of personal acceptance cast onto our partner, and fear of abandonment.
But when we stand in courage and face our truth,
love ourselves through our fears,
we open the gates to deep, penetrative love and acceptance with our partner.
THIS is what we all crave and desire.
You are worthy of this beauty.
You are worthy of this sort of love.
Offer it to yourself and your partner today,
by starting with seeing YOURSELF authentically and leaning into those difficult conversations.
Reach out to me if you want information on how to go about just this and more.
Learn authentic relating no matter your relationship title to create an evolved loving relationship that fits your soul’s path now.
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
THEY ARE CALLED YOUR EMOTIONS FOR A REASON.
Truth Bomb Here.
Are you like most of the world that believe that others are responsible for your emotional state,
for the feelings that YOU are having about any subject in your life?
Or are you self-aware enough and proactive enough to understand that they are YOUR emotions, meaning that YOU and only you are responsible for them.
No one else can make you feel any way.
You get to choose how you feel about something.
You get to choose how you react to something.
This is by far one of the most challenging things to grasp in life,
We are taught that we need to act, speak and even think through everything in ways to not harm or cause anyone else to feel bad.
We are told that we are not good enough,
that we are too much,
that we are RESPONSIBLE for how others feel about themselves,
about situations and how they perceive us.
to a degree we are responsible.
Our actions and words most certainly can trigger other’s into a negative or positive spiral.
Our actions do contribute to how we are perceived.
But we are not solely responsible for another’s feels, views or perceptions.
We each have an ability to be proactive in our thinking,
which leads to us being proactive in our feeling,
and to pause before we assume anything.
Becoming self-aware means to become authentic with self.
It means that we are willing to get real and raw with ourselves, and to acknowledge that anothers words or actions have only triggered an old program or wound,
and once triggered that we are now feeling this old emotion as though it is current.
The insecurities that we hold about ourselves,
the hatred that we have for ourselves,
the self- judgement, and shame…
All of these play a role in our emotions that can get triggered by an event or person.
But these internal landscapes that we all have,
are not another’s responsibility to cautiously thread through.
It is each of our own responsibility to self and to our lives,
to do the deep personal work to heal and become aware of.
If we do not do our own inner work,
then we are destined to walk through life feeling disempowered,
feeling a victim,
not understood and always attacked.
We will continue to view life as though we have no control and point fingers in blame at those we love,
at life experiences,
our governments, churches, schools, work.
However, when we choose to get real with self,
to practice self- love, healthy boundaries, knowing our desire’s, speaking our truth and RELEASING OURSELVES from the responsibility of everyone else’s feelings,
as well as taking responsibility for our own thoughts, feelings and actions,
we become EMPOWERED.
By doing this, we walk through life with less shame, guilt, blame, judgement on self or others and we approach life from a healthier state of relating.
We can now speak in confidence our needs,
state clearly our yes and no and also accept another’s
without falling into an old wound or fear and needing to control an outcome.
We release the world and especially our loved one’s from the driver’s seat of our lives.
They are called your emotions for a reason.
They are all your’s.
And when we had them over to someone else,
we hold an expectation that the other person will and “should” always put us before them.
And if they do not,
then we are hurt and feel as though they do not love us, that they are selfish and heartless,
that we are not safe with them.
When in fact,
what we are asking for by turning over our power to another,
by making them responsible for our emotions is what is self-centered.
And if the other does always hold us before them,
guarding us and never letting us feel any uncomfort,
then what they are doing is hiding themselves from us.
The relationship is NOT authentic.
We have successfully required this other person, to mute themselves, change who they are, pretend at all cost and hide from us and themselves,
so that we can feel secure.
How is this love?
How is this respect?
How is this authentic relating?
Life is a risk.
24/7 you risk if you are breathing.
It’s an illusion.
Love is risky.
And you can choose to lean into it and enjoy its bliss however long it lasts,
or you can shut it down and try and control it so that you can live in a mirage for however long it lasts.
One allows for growth and truth.
The other, causes bitterness and wounds that may never get repaired between people.
Which do you choose?
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Want to learn how you can move into a truly authentic, loving relationship and heal the wounds of your past so you can have a F-ck Yes life and relationship?
Message me today for deet’s on global and local coaching now.
“CBD lovin’, anti-vaxxing, interracial family, sexually open and confident, slutty AF some may say, freedom focused, excepting of all.”
THIS is my lifestyle tagline.
THIS is my family tagline.
THIS is my belief’s tagline.
And why would this be my tag line?
Because I believe in freedom of speach, love, sex, religion,choices in life and believe that no matter who you are, ( race, religion, polical views, sex, sexual preferences, economic standing or other) that WE ARE ALL WORTHY.
Worthy of what you may ask?
Worthy of living.
Not just existing.
Worthy of all the things stated above.
Worthy of having our own opinions.
Worthy of not being shamed or stoned by others ideas, judgements, opinions or fears.
Worthy of just being us.
Many disagree with me on many topics.
And the thing that comes through the most in the conversations and debates is a desire to shush me.
To the point that recently I was multiple times told that I was a bad citizen for my views, that I was not compassionate and did not care for others, that I was a horrible human being, that I should shut up, and that if I get sick to not waste the medical systems time but to just die at home.
All of these statements came because of a disagreement in ideas and beliefs.
Differences of views.
All of these stones thrown had the strong feeling of wanting to shame, control and silence what did not align to their beliefs and views of current.
And as I read through comments of over a hundred plus,
I found myself sitting in gratitude for these individuals’ truth shares.
I am not a person that has an issue with seeing things differently then the masses,
differently then my lover, my child or my friend.
And I know that my views on life are a far cry from average and ordinary.
And it is beautiful to me that we humans are so diverse in our desires, our feelings and beliefs.
It’s what makes us each so unique.
But typically we deeply fear what is not like us.
What is not common or what we perceive as normal.
Our fear makes us want to eradicate whatever is not perceived the same as us.
And this has been our human nature forever.
The reason I do not lay claim to a religion is because religion is a prime example of this belief structure that there is ONLY ONE WAY.
I believe that we are all truly children of God no matter our race, belief, sex or preferences.
I believe that the creator moves through us all.
And that our differences are revealing how diverse God truly is.
I believe that “made in his image” does not refer to our race, sex or other but is actaully speaking of the energy, the life and consciousness, the love that resides in all of us.
I believe that we are each here to learn from one another and that one of our biggest life lessons is to learn to love our differences.
The only way that we can ever do this though is to learn to love ourselves at a deep level first.
To strip ourselves from this concept that we are here to please others ideas, views or beliefs about us.
Self-love comes from seeing our light and darkness and making peace with them both.
Self- love comes from knowing our own value.
Self- love comes from respecting ourselves enough to not sway to the worlds ideas and perceptions, nor to just give up ourselves because we make another uncomfortable with our views and beliefs.
Self- love is mandatory if we are to ever have true unconditional love for any other human as well.
And compassion can only come when we have it for ourselves first.
Same for any positive characteristic that we value such as respect or understanding.
If we believe that we are responsible for everyone elses everything and they for our feelings, fears and hopes then all we are showing is our lack of clarity within who we are.
To have understanding,
we need to listen,
we need to inquire,
we need to learn to breathe and not be so reactive,
jumping to conclusions.
We need to realize that this person that we want to have understand us,
desires the same.
The majority of our fights in our world and in our own homes comes about because we suck at communication skills.
And the ones listed above are the highlighted ones that need attention from all of us.
The radical conversations that are traveling around the world right now are just highlighting the true poison that resides within each of our lives.
It is fear.
And it is fear of differences more than anything else.
And so we run around pointing fingers and laying blame on everyone who thinks differently or looks differently proclaiming that we love unconditionally, stating that we are wanting peace, freedom, well being for all but continuing the blame game as we spew out our hatred and lack of toleration or desire to understand our fellow human beings.
All the while believing that we love ourselves and that is why we are fighting and hating.
When we speak such poison as some of the things I have heard the last few weeks it saddens my soul at how many people truly are lost within themselves and hold so much anger and hatred.
When we can get to a point where we can agree to disagree and still love our fellow human despite the difference,
then we will be in a place where we can heal and make true change in our world as well as in our communities and home.
But this will only happen when we can learn to love ourselves deeply. To look within ourselves and love all our flaws, all our sins, all our wounds as well as our beauty.
we will remain lost and hateful.
To all our beautiful differences.
Be the change, start loving unconditionally today, ‘starting with yourself.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Want to learn more about self-love practices that can transform your reality from average and ordinary to a F-ck Yes Life? Message me today.