Conscious Coffee with Kendal- Children, Racism, The War on Women =The Retardation of Our World Plus Other Things No One Wants To Be Open On
TRAUMA GREW MY ROSE GARDEN AND GRATITUDE WATERS IT.
Today is a really interesting day for me.
It marks my one year of one of the most traumatic events I have had happen in a relationship so far. It also marks my one year of a massive transformation period, new growth and opportunity blended with trauma and needed healing.
Today I sit here at Starbucks after dropping my youngest son off to his father ( the man I fell out of relationship a year ago today).
It was brutal to drop him off today.
My heart actually still hurts from this mornings exchange.
Our son age four, ran to the back seat of my car as we pulled into daddy’s driveway and he screamed, “I don’t want to go to daddy’s house.” he got so frustrated, clung to the rear seat with all the force his little body could muster and screamed, “No Mommy.”
I grabbed him up, hugged him. Told him that I loved him and that I would see him later today and then he would be back at mommy’s house on Wednesday. He clung to my neck and fought profusely to hold on to me as his father took him out of my arms.
I never wanted any of this for my baby.
I don’t believe that any of us parents ever want this sort of emotional pain on our children. I don’t believe that my ex desires this trauma to come up on our son either.
And yet it still falls here.
Today, I find myself sitting here upset at my son’s pain.
Wishing I could do more for him.
Wishing that us adults who have brought this on him could have communicated better about what we wanted from each other and how we wanted out of our relationship before it came to violence as it did and a nasty, terrorizing breakup that will last a life time for our children emotionally not to mention the physical repercussions that are still being dealt with for myself.
I sit here still wondering how I could not have realized more so as to where my ex was at.
Wondering why he had to act out in violence and rage the way he did one year ago today.
Why it was so important for him to push me and all the children away with such extreme measures.
Why could he just not simply say that he wanted out and we move onto separate paths in peace and harmony, working together for the greatest good of all the children and each other.
I knew he was unhappy in our relationship.
I knew he wanted out.
He did not even desire to want to spend 30 minutes a week with me alone even though this had become a consistent request and desire of mine. He could not stomach to sit by me and watch TV, he wanted nothing to do with cuddling or sex that was two sided, only wanted to get off and be done. Would roll away in disgust after pushing me away like trash after he had reached climax.
He became rageful with friends and emotionally and physically aggressive toward his step-children. He was hateful and I told myself that he was stressed about work, money, health, anything but the truth was what I proclaimed.
The signs were there.
They were in front of my blind eyes and desire to make it all work for us.
The more committed I became to our relationship and requested time and connection,
the more he pushed away in anger.
a year later I see the truth.
I see his pattern that he had to enforce.
I see the pain that he must be in.
And I am grateful that even though that was a brutal time and experience,
even though there is still much healing that needs done for self and children.
I am grateful that I never lost who I was,
I never lost love,
I never lost my family or friends,
and I can do the healing and I understand at a deep level the power of emotions,
the importance of knowing self and NOT hiding from myself and feelings.
I am grateful that I was given a powerful opportunity last year to stand up and be 100% me.
The last year has offered me so many blessings that would have never come about had he not caved to his patterns and needs to push love away, to push so hard that he was the one to be abandoned in the experience by everyone. To repeat the trauma from his youth. And to create an experience that supported his belief that the feminine always leaves him.
I see now how he had to push that hard.
I am too stubborn to leave when I still love.
I believed it could be fixed,
I believed that he was not lying when he said that he loved me more than anyone else.
I strangely believed in us and in him.
today I stand in gratitude for the 7 years of learning,
of experience and growth,
for the birth of my two youngest angels that i would not trade for anything.
Today I stand here in gratitude for his push.
Busted up body and everything,
it was worth it.
Because I found my true strength.
I found my heart.
And tapped into allowing myself, to be me without needing another.
There is great beauty in the darkest of clouds if you allow yourself to see it and you allow time to step you back far enough to see the whole sky and it’s beauty.
Life is one BIG TRUST EXERCISE.
I am reminded of the trust and faith that I had to muster up at one of my lowest, scariest points in life so far.
Today, I choose to focus on that reminder.
To focus on the gratitude and the opportunities that have come from this event, like any event in our lives.
Today I choose to look at my blessed life.
The steady massive love that I experience from family, friends and the wonderful man I have in my life currently.
The AMAZING tribe that I have developed and all the growth that I am seeing in my business and life.
The wealth of connection, joy and the laughter that resides in my home daily that was not there a year ago or before.
My creativity at an all time high.
The beauty and bounty that is in each step on this journey.
Today I want to say THANK YOU to the man that tossed me to the side last year, who tried to destroy me and all that we had built together.
From that rubble grew a rose garden.
MY ROSE GARDEN.
Thank you for my pain.
Thank you for my suffering.
Thank you for the trauma.
Thank you for the goodbye.
I am so effing happy with my life TODAY!
My question to you that I share this with today is,
what are you doing with your trauma, drama and pain? Does it hold you back or build you up?
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
It’s time that you start to say YES to the most important person in the room beautiful. It’s time that you accept your worth, and step onto this path that your SOUL is calling you too.
I know how hard the steps may appear.
I know that you are fearful, that you doubt if you have what it takes to make this shiz happen for you or not.
But I promise you that YOU can do it.
You can have it.The first step though is to recognize that you must let go and have faith in your process of getting there.
Listen to your SOUL and follow it’s lead.
Imagine having a coach who has been on a similar path guide you, help you discover the deeper meanings of what soul is wanting you to know.
What would it feel like to have that sort of support and guidance?
You can have this.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Private mentoring and coaching today.
I just want to say that our system is F-CKED!!!!
I mean seriously f-cked.
Today I write with a heart that is frustrated, upset and emotional.
Today my heart goes out to all those who have experienced or who know that abuse is happening and can do nothing about it.
The one’s who want to protect, but find their hands tied.
Yes I feel you.
I see you.
I know the troubled heart that you carry.
There is nothing worse then to witness abuse of any sort happening and be told you cannot do a damn thing about it.
To hear the cries.
To see the bruises.
and be told that its not real.
Sit down and brace yourselves.
I am going to share an intimacy from my day,
an intimacy that is not fun,
is not humorous,
and most certainly not just.
I have family that is being abused.
Three little boys,
age 2, 4 and 5 who are being physically abused,
sexually abused, starved, beaten, left with a known predator and their cries are IGNORED.
By their mother,
Attorneys just want money,
no care as to child well being.
Everyone who knows says, ” I don’t want to get involved.”
And so the abuse continues.
And so the trauma continues.
And these boys,
these boys now hide with their horror that their uncle brings to them each week.
Now they learn that it is okay,
“He is your uncle, we love him, he can do what he wants.”
Our system is F-CKED!!!!
And for those who think this could not happen in this day and age,
I promise you this is a true story.
This man who is doing this has a record,
it was before he was 18 years old so no one knows of it.
It is ignored.
As if by some miracle that when he turned 18 things would change his sick mental state of being.
His distorted hunger.
Who the f-ck plays “the penis game” with kids?
What sort of adult man,
or any adult for that matter,
takes little boys and bites their penis as a f-cking game?
It is rare that I find such disgust for anyone,
but today I sit here after such great hope that CPS would see the light with this being a third report,
sweep in and do something.
At least prevent further abuse till the judge could settle things between the parents,
They choose to disregard.
To claim there is no abuse.
That its crying wolf.
I guess bruises on a 5 year old’s penis and stories of uncle playing the penis game are normal.
I guess that the signs that the boys show of abuse are imagined.
I guess that the only thing that matters is what?
The attorney’s and the money.
The let’s avoid paperwork, its Thursday, too close to the weekend.
And then, you know what I know is that in 15, 20, 30, 40+ years from now, when these boys are men, that they will have so much inner work to do to heal.
They will have to work through idea’s of suicide,
murder, not knowing their sexual personality.
They will have to learn even more than the rest of us about love and what it is and what it is not. And hopefully will not follow down a path like their uncle.
We wonder where the predators come from.
We wonder why our youth has the hate crimes,
why abuse is climbing and not spoken about until it’s too late. We wonder why mental health states is tipsy, questionable. Suicide rates are high.
This is why people!
We choose to take the easier path on almost everything we do. No matter the harm that it may cause.
We choose to ignore.
We choose to hide.
We choose to NOT SPEAK OUT!
We choose to shut down.
We choose to not stand up for hose who cannot stand up for themselves, because it’s not our problem.
We choose to have misguided loyalty.
We choose to not do the freaking paperwork.
We choose to let lives be destroyed.
We have created a system that support the expansion of trauma.
And we think it’s great!
Because it’s not our kid.
It’s not our family.
It’s not US.
It’s not YOU.
And sure this topic today is one that is too effing close to my heart and daily life right now.
But I have clients that have lived through this abuse.
I work with men,
who spend a lifetime trying to overcome the damage that was caused by such events and worse.
The stories that I have heard from adults about their youth,
I cannot tell you how my heart goes out.
The crusade to save our children,
If we ever want a world that is peaceful,
healed to any level.
We need to look at all human rights.
And stop treating children like they have no f-cking rights,
like they are just good story tellers.
Sexual Abuse for our youth is more real than what any of us want to admit.
And our system is F-cked to a point that it is almost hopeless.
Because it’s not about the children.
It’s not about safety.
It’s not about rights.
It’s about money, bottom lines and keeping it easy on those who don’t care and are not being effected.
I believe that there is HOPE.
I believe that our WORDS matter.
Our VOICES need to be heard.
The children need a voice.
And their voice comes from YOUR awareness.
Hope is awakened by more adults doing the inner work that they need to do to not be fearful of speaking out, speaking up and standing up.
Our children would be safer if the VILLAGE protected them instead of ignored them.
Yes today’s message is one of a CALL to ACTION that if you know of abuse happening to not turn the other cheek, to not ignore. To not hide your f-cking head in the sand and disregard.
Your hiding will never save anyone, including yourself.
But your voice,
your voice could save multiple lives.
Will you STAND, SPEAK UP, SPEAK OUT?
Or will you continue to ignore?
It’s starts with you not ignoring your SOUL.
It starts with you eliminating your own SHAME.
It starts with you communicating your NEEDS.
It starts with you getting COMMITTED to YOU.
So pull that beautiful head out of the sand,
and let your voice be heard.
Your message felt.
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living Not IGNORING!
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Imagine letting o of your fear,
letting go of your shame.
What would your life be like if you were working with a mentor that could help you level up your life and let go of all those things that no longer serve you?
What would you like to release? Let go of and create for your EMPOWERED Life?
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Coaching today.
This Is What Men Have Taught Me About Money, Abundance, Goals and Happiness.
Years ago, I was married.
I was married at age 18.
I had five children.
Struggled, lost homes, was burred under debt, my health suffered, my marriage suffered, my sex was nothing but duty. I hated my life! I was focused on the NOT having and I was buying into the concept of this is just how it was. This was normal and I had to just suck it up.
My husband then was in financial services, he worked for Primerica which was part of Travelers Group, originally Art Williams created the company back in the 1970’s and it was known as A.L. Williams Life Insurance Group. It was about term insurance and investments.
I met my husband in the company as I was working on my licenses to become a representative to sell for them and was interested in the structure of the system.
Well, fast forward past all that and the wedding and the child birth stuff and you found us BROKE. Chasing our dreams of becoming financially free. Our goal back then was to become Vice Presidents of the company and make a six figure income. Get the ring to show how great we were and the rewards of trips and such.
And so we listened to ALL the motivational stuff.
We went to the seminars.
We made the cold calls and followed the sales scripts.
We worked, worked , worked.
And occasionally made some sales.
Some would charge back, which put us in debt with the company and had to be taken out of future commissions.
some would stick.
For years we chased the DREAM.
For years we struggled.
We comforted ourselves with the concept that we were building a beautiful tale of overcoming the feats and obstacles but in the end succeeded.
We imagined walking on the stage and telling the story.
And we struggled.
Living on what averaged out to be $17,000 a year.
Raising children, scrimping buy.
Food Stamps, Evictions, State insurance, borrowing whatever we could from family to make ends meet and even sleeping on families couches when things got REALLY bad.
But we kept chasing that dream.
Until one day, I could not chase it anymore.
I was burned out. I hated my life.
I wanted it all to end.
And I spent the next two years of my life in the middle of deep dark depression, that still today I wonder how I made it through alive. I acted out, I drank too much alcohol. We fought like wild raging animals.
It was toxic.
It was unhealthy for everyone.
And it had to come to an end.
I decided I was done.
I decided that I wanted a divorce.
I decided that we had too much water under our bridge.
And I chose to burn the bridge.
I decided that if it was up to me, it was going to be my freedom, my way, my flow, my self-discovery, my healing.
And so it was.
I had to let go of all the old ways though.
And I did, for the most part.
I dug in and started to do the inner work.
I decided that I was the most important person in the room.
In my life.
That if I wanted to be an AMAZING mom, I needed to feed my SOUL.
I reinvented myself.
So I started my practice,
it was nothing like it is today,
but it was my foundation grounds.
My learning grounds.
My healing grounds.
And with my practice came a desire to date and explore the masculine because I had never done that before.
I only had explored three men intimately up to this point and I knew I had a bunch of shame, guilt, self-image and fear wrapped around this area of life.
I was not overly caught up on dating.
It was just a desire that I had and if it came along,
then it came along.
I created some doorways for opportunities to happen and I did not really apply my focus there too much. I just knew what I wanted and let it be.
Something about dating and men felt easy to me.
Even with my fear.
I had a fascination, a curiosity that overcame the fear.
Men and dating felt playful to me.
It was a game,
new ground to explore.
My ONLY expectation was to enjoy it and learn.
And so I decided in that moment that I would NEVER chase men. There was no need. Because I wanted it to just be FUN.
And so it was.
As with men, I quickly discovered that money, abundance, goals and happiness were no different.
If I chased them.
They ran from me.
If I turned them into a fun game,
an adventure and let my curiosity run free,
then they flowed.
My advice to you today BABY is simple.
Stop chasing everything!
Wonder why it is running from you?
Well it’s not rocket science BABY.
It is running from you because you are chasing it.
I know that you have been told to chase your dreams.
I know that you have been told to make your goals happen.
I know that you have heard that there is no gain without the pain.
Yeah I understand.
I lived that way for so many years.
I still have those nasty lies pop up in my mind today and try and take me down.
Try and steal my joy.
But today I see them for the wolves they are.
And I know what to do to get back into my FLOW.
That is the power of doing the inner work.
That is the purpose of having a mentor.
That is why we who crave the f-ck yes lifestyle that is so much more than money,
its all about FREEDOM and HAPPINESS.
It’s about SOUL.
Yes we know the power of saying YES to ourselves and taking the ACTION to do the things that must be done.
Those things are internal 80% of the time.
Those things are the things that we AVOID.
We hide from.
But as long as you keep choosing to chase your dreams the old fashioned way, you will remain the predator to that, that you so desire and it will keep running from you.
Sure you can succeed this way.
You can keep chasing.
You can capture your dreams and goals and MAKE THEM HAPPEN.
But at what cost?
How much of YOU will be left?
And will you be truly happy, fulfilled and healthy?
There is an easier way BABY.
It’s called Ease and Flow.
It’s called SOUL Guidance.
But first you must learn to listen.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
It’s my specialty beautiful!
It’s my purpose work.
My calling and my passion.
When I chose all those years ago to step into who I was and step into my ease and flow,
I chose to live a life of service and help YOU find your ease and flow.
But to do that you have to want it.
You have to be ready to get ready to RECEIVE it.
And that mean creating doorways for it to come through and releasing you from the predatory chains of your current beliefs and habits.
You can keep doing what you are doing.
Or you can grab a consult with me and make a different choice.
You can reinvent YOURSELF.
Which is actually just unveiling YOURSELF.
Claim Your Life Today.
Some days you feel like you are running around like Alice in wonderland,
not knowing what direction to go or what the best choice could be. You start out on one path only to find yourself running down another,
and feeling as though it is never ending and only making you more lost in life.
No matter what you attempt,
things go to hell. But you put your head down and you just keep going. Each step forward seems to be ten steps back and around and around you go,
in this land of nowhere,
feeling lost but looking for something more.
You know that feeling.
That feeling of uncertainty.
That feeling of overwhelm.
You are damned if you do and damned if you don’t,
so why bother?
But you must bother because someone, somewhere is waiting on you.
And you have responsibilities.
People, bills and time to think of.
But there you are a circus in your own head,
and you just keep going, lost and confused as if on some psychedelic trip,
that lost its luster many years ago.
Fear is permeating from your bones.
Your flesh reeks of your uncertainty.
Your head lowers, your back hunches.
You are scared.
Scared in this darkness that you have created.
It’s a mad house in here.
so you focus in.
You get dedicated,
committed and claim that you know.
You know that things MUST change.
You know that this cannot continue.
You know that you are drowning,
no matter how pretty the picture may be that the world around see’s,
you are drowning.
And so things must change.
And you claim that they will.
You look for guidance.
You beg for direction.
You fall to your knee’s and pray.
But there you are,
Waking up in stillness.
Waking up to the madness that is lurking.
Hiding from view,
until you look the other way.
Buried there in the mess of your life.
You choose to ignore.
And just as quickly as you had committed,
to make that change.
You find yourself drifting,
in a lull that this life can offer.
A lull of comfort.
Of average and ordinary.
There you are, dancing in the midst of the circus.
Until one day, when once again,
you cannot help but look deeper.
A whisper, a ghost from yesterday,
something magical alerts you to look into the chaos.
And then you discover.
You discover the wonder,
Why are you on this never ending ride,
this ride that keep taking you,
far from what you desire.
It side tracks you and comforts you,
it scares you and spins.
Until you once again,
cannot tell what is up or down.
You are dizzy.
You are fearful.
You are lost once again.
falling to the ground,
you make the commitment again.
to stop settling,
stop avoiding and forgetting.
You are sick of this ride.
This nightmare you are living.
It is time to proclaim.
Time to not forget.
It is time that you stand firmly.
Decide what you want.
Climb up and out,
out of this chaos,
out of this circus,
this mad house in your head.
the guilt and the fear.
They are nothing more than words,
words that you give life to and dance with.
You are the gate keeper, the ring leader and owner.
You are the BOSS.
The Queen and the creator.
So stand up right there.
Stand there in your POWER.
Claim once and for all,
you will take no more of the misery.
No more excuses, no more ignoring,
no more story telling,
no more lies and regrets.
It is time for you,
for you to OWN WHO YOU ARE.
It is time!
Let go of that ticket,
its a circus you have been too,
one you need no longer attend.
So step away from this story line,
and write the one from your SOUL.
What does your SOUL expression truly look like?
If people, opinions, judgments and fears no longer stood in your way, what would your life look like and who would you be?
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Do you relate to having the crazy run your world?
Cannot seem to find the motivation, dedication, or certainty to step fully into all that you know you were born to be? And yet the desire to become something so much more is just there CALLING to you. Begging you to take the step.
I fully understand this fear, this chaos and crazy.
It is a path that many have walked, have had to conquer, but when you taste who you really are, experience your truth and start stepping into this you will discover a courage, a passion and faith that you did not know that you had.
You deserve to live a beautiful life.
A life of THRIVING!
Let’s explore the steps to greatness today.
If that truly impacts your life then I sure the f-ck don’t want that sorta life!
Sometimes people just send me over my edge. You know what I mean?
They b*tch, mone and complain about their work, their finances, their kids, their spouses, their parents and friends, their health and the cost of gasoline.
They sit around day in and day out paying attention to this stuff that does not matter in the end.
They get more excited about the price of a gallon of gasoline, the $5.00 Victoria Secret Pantie sale, and what our beloved president is doing or not doing then they do about things that really matter.
Things that will impact them RIGHT NOW.
And because it will impact them right now,
it will carry over to tomorrow and the next day,
the next month,
the next year even.
I was out earlier today,
taking my son to school,
and my other son to the dentist for a check up.
While I was out I stopped for a coffee.
Standing in line there were two women in front of me,
discussing the price of gasoline.
The one woman was exclaiming her excitement about the fact that it was under $2.00 a gallon. How it made it so much easier on her to go places now and how she hoped prices would stay low. The second woman, agreed. Then they started talking about local elections and politics. As they spoke about politics I watched them each shrink.
They became hunched over, and their faces which were joyous over the price of gasoline just moments before now looked sullen and upset.
As they spoke about politics, they became agitated with each other to the point that one woman could no longer carry on the conversation and politely removed herself from the line to go to the restroom mid sentence of the other woman.
There they were two women in their 40″s maybe.
Business women from the way they were dressed.
And they had allowed gasoline and politics to dictate issue’s in their friendship and set an overall tone for the moment.
Potentially the day.
Now, here is the thing….
I know that gas has dropped in price.
I know that elections just happened locally.
I know what is happening in our world in multiple ways.
But I never focus in on it.
I don’t drive by the gas station and look to see which station has a better price.
So I can save two cents or ten cents.
I get gas when I need gas.
I get it at the most convenient stop for me on my path.
Because the truth is,
I have far more important things to think about then the price of gasoline.
The same is true with politics.
I pay attention to the point that I need too,
to make a decision in my voting.
But at the end of the day,
I don’t let it ruffle a feather one.
Because this too shall pass.
Much like everything.
It shall pass.
Gasoline will rise and fall as it does every year.
Politicians will lie and cheat,
tell truths and do what they feel is fit,
with whatever judgements they deem right for themselves,
Governments will move forward with or without my emotional upset or excitement.
The average and ordinary person will allow these things to guide their feelings, their thoughts, their mindset and thus their actions.
The average and ordinary person will get caught up in the pennies and loose the millions, because they are in scarcity mindset.
The average and ordinary person will think it is responsible to know where the best sales are on underwear, milk, and potato chips.
The average person, will think it their duty to wake up and watch the news, then check in on it again that evening, to even get updates to their phones.
Yes this is effing AVERAGE.
Letting Media Lead.
Maybe I just don’t effing care.
Maybe that means that I am a bad person for not giving two sh*ts.
it means that I have discovered that when I choose to focus in on things that support my mindset to be positive,
my emotions to be stable, and my focus to be on being and doing the things that I can be in control of that I am…..
Wait for it…
Yep there I said it.
I am HAPPY.
Because if that sorta thing really matters to your life picture,
then I sure the f-ck don’t want your life.
If saving five cents at the pump,
a dollar on milk,
or fifty cents on Lay’s potato chips
is what makes or break your day,
then maybe you need a little bit of a check in on
what life purpose is about.
Well I can tell you one thing,
if you are like these two women that I saw this morning at the coffee shop,
then you are being a sheeple.
You are allowing this world to dictate your mindset.
Which also means that you are most likely buying into the bullsh*t belief structures that you have to live pay check to pay check.
That being happy is something only Hollywood can make happen in a movie.
That you have to sacrifice your desires,
and be responsible by never doing what you want.
You more than likely also think that government has your back.
That the reason gasoline is cheap right now is because there is suddenly an extra reserve of it.
That saving fifty cents on milk will change your retirement fund.
Well, that is all a bunch of non-sense.
The truth is,
you are so effing POWERFUL.
You can have your hearts desires.
You can have all the abundance that you want.
And YES you….
Can be happy.
The trick is simple.
Let the f-ck go of your belief that this above stuff matters to your happiness.
Let go of worrying about gasoline prices and who in the white house is sleeping with who.
Let go of the belief that you have to be average.
Or that average will ever bring you joy.
Sure it might be comfortable.
But has it ever REALLY made you happy?
no it has not made me happy?
You want for more?
CHANGE YOUR REALITY.
Change will always be uncomfortable at the start.
You will never have anything close to happiness,
close to abundance,
close to success,
in any area of your life,
if you value comfort over happiness.
There I said it.
You Value Comfort Over Happiness.
Don’t shake your head at me.
I feel you shaking your head in disagreement.
All the excuses and reasons popping up in your mind right now,
as to why you have not done what you know you need and want.
Why you cannot have what you want and need RIGHT NOW.
Yeah I get it.
I have been there.
I go there still for moments.
But you have chosen to set up camp there baby.
You have bought the package deal,
where you give your life,
for something that steals your precious time here on this planet.
With your families.
And this thing I speak of is NOT your job.
This thing is your AVERAGE Thinking.
Average drive for life.
And you are doing it right now,
by remaining comfortable.
By paying more attention to facebook threads,
the media blah-blah,
and the price of gasoline.
SO as always,
It is your choice.
It always is baby.
It is up to you to have the life you want or to ACCEPT what you got.
What will it be?
I know what I choose.
FREEDOM Based Living.
A F-ck YES! Lifestyle.
And saying YES,
Yes to me.
Yes to happiness.
and to being uncomfortable for a time,
so that I can have the blessings I want.
“Stop Existing & Start Living”
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