My heart felt like it was being crushed.
My chest had a weight on it that no matter how I tried to calm my breathing,
no matter the stretching and massaging that I provided my chest,
the pressure and constriction simply would not stop.
There was this low grade level of anxiety rising in my system as I could feel my body fighting with me.
But why was this happening?
I was not fearful of travel.
I was not feeling out of sorts with my lover who was sitting right there with me.
There was nothing that I could consciously come up with in this moment that would support the pain that I was in.
Fast forward a few hours….
We had landed. Gotten our car. And made it to the fauntleroy ferry in West Seattle. I was feeling far calmer now then just a few hours prior in the Uber ride to the airport.
However as soon as our Jeep rolled onto the ferry and we got parked the overwhelming feelings of being crushed and the anxiety made themselves known again.
Breathing deep as I could in the moment I quickly walked myself to the upper deck of the ferry and called my breath as I looked out over the harbor to Vashon Island. The wind encompassed me with the soft smell of sea salt in it,
the waves crashed up against the sides of the ferry, the sun let me feel delicate moments of warmth on the skin that was revealed and here I was in this moment,
There was no reason in this moment to stand here on this ferry and cry,
yet the tears came anyway.
And as they did the release into whatever was holding in my chest and begging me to let it go left with them.
Here on the ferry overlooking the water I surrendered to the unknown.
I let myself go into what logically made no sense.
I was happy.
I was excited to share my love of Washington with my lover for a few days.
I was feeling relaxed until I was not.
And my mind wanted answers.
My mind wanted to become Sherlock Holmes and figure it all out,
make reason for the pain,
and my holding of it.
But my soul and heart understood its truth.
My body and mind had been arguing you could say.
They were not in alignment.
And THAT is what was causing me to suffer.
WIthout realizing it I was not surrendering to the beauty and release of this trip. I was holding onto an old concept,
I was holding onto the version of me who used to live here in Seattle all those years ago and STRUGGLE in life.
who missed so much of the greatness of this place.
Here I was 15 years later, holding onto these fragments of self.
Not letting myself release fully into who I have become.
Who I have grown into being and the life that I have today.
The fear of the old me was actually creating physical pain in the current. The old thought programs and beliefs around money and relationships that I use to try to exist in life were being unmasked in my energy and my current state of who I AM was being asked by my old sabotaging thoughts and ideas to lay down and shut up.
And here was the significant constriction that I was feeling.
The feeling like I could not breathe.
The feeling like my chest was going to explode and my ribs were being broken from the inside out.
The agony in my gut.
And the intense headache that came with it all as my whole being just wanted to flee the idea of this trip I had planned.
I was not surrendering to me.
I was not surrendering to this moment.
I was not surrendering to life or what it was blessing me with.
And I was not surrendering all because of an old concept and old beliefs that were trying to make themselves current.
I was out of alignment.
The issue with my alignment was causing me the pain and the fear.
The only thing that could save me was my own surrender into the depths of the unknown,
into this moment.
into this experience.
into life and what it was offering me.
And as I did so,
the tears streamed down my face,
the wind whipped itself around me,
the waves crashed against the ferry boat,
the sun shone through the clouds and asked to warm my skin,
and I took a deep breath letting it all go.
My world was right again.
My body let go of everything that it was holding,
and it let go of the need to falsely try and control what it could not control.
It let go of this moment in life and allowed the moment to JUST BE.
Without a need to know what was going to come next.
Without the need to hold onto the moment and ask that it never change or leave.
My SOUL was again in the driver’s seat,
and in it I was aligned.
Some would look at moments like this or times that they feel these same constrictions and fears, anxiety and “gut reactions” as signs to turn and go another direction.
and sometimes they can mean just that for sure,
However often they are signs that we are on the tipping edge of everything that we desire to be birthed into our world and our old versions of self are there testing us.
Asking us if we are sure that we truly want everything that we have proclaimed that we do.
Many people at this moment misread what their body, mind and emotions are speaking to them and they turn away from EVERYTHING.
They will say,
“That’s just too risky.”
“I need to see it to believe it.”
“I need to know that this person is as invested as I am.”
” I don’t want to hurt so and so or get hurt.”
“Timing is wrong, I can feel it.”
And they step away from life.
They step away from some of the best moments of living.
They turn away from the experiences that will grow them into that next version and they do it all in the name of “having a feeling.”
They do it based on logic.
They do it because they look at the suffering and pain,
the anxiety as a symbol that THIS IS NOT THE PATH.
When that is not at all what is being said.
Your SOUL is saying this FEAR that you are having right now is here telling you that THIS….
THIS is the perfect path that will transform you into that next beautiful version of who you were born to become.
This fear that you are having is here because you have control issues and life is not for controlling, it is here for you to love and enjoy,
and in your loving and enjoying of each delicate moment and your release into the unknown you BIRTH YOURSELF.
And you BECOME.
But you must SURRENDER.
In the small moments as well as the big ones.
Because the universe/God is not looking at the size of the moments,
but at your ability to be in alignment with SOURCE.
That is the meaning of FAITH.
That is having CERTAINTY that you will always get what you want for and need.
That is how you make MAGICK in your life and THRIVE.
Can you surrender to life?
We are all being asked to do just this.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Message me for deets on the Magick Minute.
SOME DAYS YOU QUESTION…
IS IT EVEN WORTH IT?
You know those days where your chest feels so tight it hurts to even try and take a shallow breath,
and you know that what you really need to do is to breathe deep and force yourself to just relax,
but you can’t.
It hurts too effing bad.
You feel like your chest is going to erupt at any second from the pressure that it is under and your heart is beating faster than it should,
you woke with enough anxiety for two countries of people,
and your mind won’t stick to anything positive.
worry dances around you assuring you that today is going to suck,
just like life is sucking. And you question….
Is any of this even worth it?
Does anyone really care?
Do I matter?
And if I do, is it just so I can be of service without support coming back? Am I only here on this planet to be used?
The blame game is a nasty one,
and you know it’s not even accurate,
but there you go anyway,
down that rabbit hole,
feeding yourself another solemn tail of defeat and suffering.
Your mind is a chatter with how you need to just put an end to your suffering,
you have no reason to continue so it appears,
your heart is shattered and no one sees it,
You are lost.
Lost in your pain.
Lost in your inability to love yourself.
Lost in your fear of change.
Lost in desire to control and you cannot see it.
Your ego has you by the balls,
and there is a strange fulfillment in it.
Shhhh…. don’t tell anyone that in your pain you are comfortable.
But it is true.
You are happy here in this suffering,
it is serving you for the time.
It is gaining you the attention that you desire,
it is getting those who are around you to notice you somehow.
Your vibe is so low that they feel a need to check in on you,
to inquire and at very least pretend that they care.
And to this there is an inner smiling.
But not for long.
Quickly you dismiss it.
And move on to another thought of your inner suffering,
pointing more fingers,
spewing out hatred and pain to anyone who will listen.
Confirming your misery.
And controlling that it will not leave you.
Yes my love,
Did you catch that?
You are controlling your pain.
You are forcing it to stay with you.
You are the one who is hanging on to it.
You are truly that powerful,
that you have chosen to put yourself into this bondage.
You are truly that genius to have devised a life of suffering that is so masterfully planned out that even you yourself can no longer see it for the mastery that it is in your power.
Choosing blindness over sight.
Choosing to remain harnessed to the inner demons that you feed with your thoughts and actions.
Choosing to control them,
through your dictatorship of what you cannot do.
But if you could just breathe.
If you could just allow yourself to settle down into that cavity of your heart and feel the beating of its beauty and power.
If you could if only for today allow yourself a moment to release all the emotion that resides there,
let the tears stream without attachment,
without a need to think about them,
but to just let them go.
If you could do this and breathe.
Deeper and deeper,
letting yourself feel yourself and love,
love you for all your humanness,
and your tender beauty and powerful soul,
then perhaps you would be able to turn the corner to this self inflicted suffering.
Perhaps then you could come from your strength.
From that place deep inside of you that knows its worthiness,
embraces its power and see’s how it is truly the creator of your life.
If you could do this for only one minute today,
just one focused minute imagine the glorious thing that could stem from this place?
Imagine what it would be like to ALLOW yourself to turn that corner and to STOP the suffering game that you are playing with yourself.
Imagine what life might be like if instead of denying yourself the ability to feel good,
you in turn started to say yes to yourself with the things that you know you desire, crave and need.
You question your worthiness…
yet you do not treat yourself with any worth.
You question if you should continue on…
yet you deny the allowance of living from a yes point to self.
You roll in the muddy contamination of your thoughts claiming that you are shackled there while holding the key to your freedom.
And the reality is the same for any of us…
We will only make a change when we are ready to make that change.
When we are done with the service that pain offers.
When we are done controlling from this vibrational level and we are ready to truly step into our power of self love.
Ready to surrender to your true nature,
to create a life of thriving.
But first you must question…..
How is this suffering serving me?
Why am I so attached to this pain?
How is controlling my life through pain supporting my current desires?
And you must go deep with yourself if you are to unblock yourself from what you claim you no longer want.
You must get authentically raw with yourself and be willing to see those inner shadows for what they are….
for how you….
YES YOU ARE THEIR MASTER.
Are you ready to turn the corner?
Because this world needs your light.
And you my dear,
YOU ARE WORTHY OF A LIFE OF THRIVING.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Stop with the mind f-ck games that you are playing with yourself and learn the secrets to thriving now.
You can create the life of your dreams in one minute a day.
Message me for deet’s on the Magick Minute Program.
There I was sitting on my bed naked with my morning cup of coffee when he said it….
I know what he was saying was to be a compliment.
I know that what he meant was that I was amazing and that he loved me.
I logically understand.
But that’s not how it translated after it got grabbed up by a wound from my past.
Okay so let me explain about what I am saying here.
You see in my house we have this thing,
and you simply never know where these conversations will go,
nor how they will get stirred up and be birthed either.
It is drastically different each day.
after some decent sexing,
I found my lover and I in bed,
I was naked drinking my morning cup of coffee,
I opened my phone and saw something on all the pedphillia conversations that are currently bouncing around. It struck a chord with me instantly and I shared with him my utter disgust and anger on the concept that pedaphillia should be accepted as a representation of love. I showed him an image that is being put up in Denver, Colorado right now of a rainbow background and silhouette of a man and small child that might be four years at best chasing butterflies, the image says,
” Pedophiles are people too. Because Love is Love.”
My share to him on this topic was that yeah, pedophiles are people too, but having sexual feelings or engagement toward a child, especially a small child is not love and that a child does not have the emotional/mental or physical maturity to understand. These “people” are stealing not just the innocents of our children but actually causing emotional/mental and physical damage to the child.
And that sure AF is not okay and is NOT love.
After that conversation and agreement on the topic, I told him I needed to get to work and write a musing for the day and that my topic was going to be,
“My boyfriend would be perceived a sex addict if he was dating someone else…”
To this he smiled at me and said,
“If you were with you, you would be a sex addict too.”
And this is where it all went dark folks.
In his compliment he unknowingly triggered an old wound.
Now an average and normal woman would have said something coy, kicked the statement out without too much attention, or done whatever she could to change topics if she were triggered,
but not I…..
took a deep breath and allowed myself to feel the trigger.
To feel this wound that just got scratched.
I looked at the wound,
identified that it was not in current and that he had no ill will in his statement.
However, the truth was it triggered me.
And I did not want to spend my day retracted from him or life in general with this trigger and wound playing tennis in my psyche.
So I spoke up.
“That was a triggering statement you just made.”
And then I shared why.
I shared that four years prior when I was in an open relationship,
I found myself in a threesome with my primary two lovers,
who’s intent was to create a yummie experience one day for me where they would both ravish me and we would play and enjoy one another.
However my ex got so excited he did not apply the time or attention needed to my physical body that I needed him to take.
Even though I was highly turned on,
my physical being was not caught up to my mental and emotional turn on for the experience.
And he quickly grabbed a glass dildo with no lube on it and penetrated me with it,
unfortunately it was rough at entry and because I was not organically lubricated yet it tore the delicate skin of my vaginal lining,
leaving me feeling torn and burning for days to come.
He did not take much time going down on me as he was too excited about the whole event and penetrated me quickly after removing the glass dildo.
His hast and excitement level created the scenario of him being a two pump chump in this moment,
and he came so quickly that I barely even knew what had happened.
He then looked at me and said,
“If you were not so hot I could withhold it better.”
Again, I believe that his intent was to compliment,
but what he actually was doing was blaming me,
making me responsible for his inability to last,
to be in control of his body,
his thoughts and feelings,
his sexual energy.
And he tossed his power over to me and made me responsible.
My feeling after hearing this was,
” I need to not be me.”
I felt like if I did not moan that way,
if I was not playful like I am,
If my body did not look like this,
If I was not open the way I am,
Then he would be able to stay with me longer,
last longer and I too could engage in pleasure in these moments.
It was my fault that my partner has premature ejaculation issues.
Fast forward to current moment and my partner telling me that if I was with me, I would be a sex addict too….
This too speaks that I am responsible for my partners thoughts, actions, desires, habits, feelings, etc.
He is not responsible.
He is innocent and cannot help himself.
It’s my fault for being me the way that i am that causes the issues,
So what should I do if I am not okay with an issue?
Well I need to shut my shit down.
I need to not be as turned on.
I need to guard my moans.
I need to go limp.
I need to not engage in sex.
I need to not dress this way or that.
I need to not be as playful.
I need to change myself so that he can handle being around me.
But THIS is not what men want their women to do in truth.
And most men don’t actually believe that it’s the woman’s fault that they have weak stamina or high turn on.
Not fully that is.
They do however blame her to a degree,
just like she takes responsibility.
It’s because of how we were raised.
Girls are told from a young age that we are responsible for how boys look at us.
How they speak to us.
That if we wear yoga pants then we are at fault for a guy thinking things or desiring things.
If a girl or woman gets raped or any sexual harassment then its her fault typically because she was asking for it based on her looks, choice in clothes, attitude, playfulness, how she blinked or smiled, etc.
And guys are told that,
“Boys will be boys and that they cannot help it.”
This all steals one’s individual power from them.
Men become disempowered by escaping responsibility for their own consciousness or lack thereof, their feelings, desires and actions, they get to turn away from and hand the reins of power over to the woman.
Women lose their power by believing this responsibility transfer and shutting themselves down, changing who they are so to not cause issues.
I believe that Namaste Moore puts its so well,
And her statement is true for ALL subjects of our life.
“People who are not conscious about their OWN power will always sound the alarm about other people’s power. People who recognize their own power… understand that no one has power over them and they have power over no one else. Freedom.”
It’s easy to see the truth in this statement when we look at some of the political and world topics of current,
But can you see its truth in our sexing and relationships as well.
Because it’s there too.
In owning that we get triggered,
In speaking up about what is stirring in us as to prevent separation from self and thus another and life,
We reclaim our power.
In pausing on our words and asking ourselves,
“Is this a statement of love or of fear?”
In looking at what our words are actually speaking,
Because often we try to compliment but in truth a transfer of our power to another is happening.
And when these transfers in power happen we create chaos in our relationships,
In communication we thus create contrast that feels uncomfortable because we are not consciously processing and taking responsibility for our own inner shadow lands.
Today look at your relationships.
Look at your sexing.
Look at your expectations and desires.
And ask yourself if you are owning your power or handing it over to someone else?
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Want to learn how you can claim your power and have a turned on life and relationship?
Reach out to me today for deet’s on couples or individual coaching now.
THERE IS A LIE WE BELIEVE THAT CHANGES ALL OF OUR UNDERSTANDING….
With all the worlds chaos and turbulence,
I am witnessing a massive amount of said “lightworkers,” christians, believers of faith and LOA, genuianly “good” souls fall prey to the misconception around a lie that they have bought full heartedly into,
and that lie is AWARENESS = ALWAYS BEING POSITIVE
It is funny how we humans are so eager to jump down one another’s throats in ego and pain,
we point fingers of blame and cuddle up in our victimhood statues of reasoning,
quick to accuse others of being blind, low vibe or even spiritually bypassing issues and feelings,
but then in the same turn of spewing out all these negative charges,
show frustration and even fear toward truth that does hurt.
Toward truth and awareness that does not fit into what we call “spiritual” or “high vibe.”
We shun the concept of awareness that is not always uplifting.
As if seeing the true pain, sorrow, or darkness that does mask each of us in it’s own way and the world in general can just be ignored fully and by ignoring and ONLY focusing in on the good that we will somehow make the evils go away.
It is sort of like the child who is afraid of monsters in the closet so they hide their head under the blankets of their bed and tell themselves as long as I think happy thoughts then there will be no monsters,
but in reality the monsters they are hiding from are their abusive parents fighting in the hallway.
We will never make the evils of this world go away.
That is the truth.
What we perceive as evil is here for a reason,
it is upon this planet to create contrast.
Without contrast in our world we can never know what we desire or want for,
we would not evolve and expand.
It is only through contrast that we fully experience living.
But here is the conundrum for humanity,
how are we to manifest good if we witness the bad and get caught in it?
The key is getting caught in it or not.
There is this concept that feeling sad, angry, upset or any emotion that is not even keel is not good, is not natural.
It is encouraged in many belief structures and in how we raise our children to hold in the pain and anger and not let it out unless we want to be perceived as weak.
This is a falsity and one of the most unhealthy programs that we teach.
WIth this we have enwrapped ourselves in the idea that AWARENESS ….
is only and always to be UPLIFTING.
And when we share awareness that is not uplifting that we are in turn trying to fear monger.
Now don’t get me wrong, what we are all witnessing in our world of current and for many generations is just that from our leaders and media,
we are for sure being programmed by our trust in them and through television programming systems,
just as planned by those that control.
I am not speaking of the agendas of those who crave more power and are corrupt to the core,
I am speaking about the rest of society waking up to the truths that these dark souls are hiding in plain sight from us.
I am speaking about the fact that in order for you to heal anything or make powerful uplifting changes that you must….
First, become AWARE of the issue. And this may not be uplifting to awaken to the reality of a nightmare.
And second, see what the contrast that this nightmare is offering to your level of desire.
From here we can make significant change.
And yes focusing in on it after this point,
getting caught in all its entrappings of fear and darkness will not change it to what you desire for instead but, rather help it to gain power through the momentum of your fear around any such troublesome topic.
Your awareness transformed to true sight of what the opportunity that is actually being offered,
which is a desire for something better,
for love and peace,
equality and safety,
can then be fully embraced.
It is here in this AWARENESS which is uplifting when we empower ourselves with our true heart,
that what we focus on grows.
Here we can now CONSCIOUSLY move ourselves from witnessing the nightmare to putting our focus on what is good in our world.
When we consciously choose to move our focus and experience onto good we create more good.
And we do not get caught in the nightmare although we are aware of it existing.
This is not spiritual bypassing or ignoring of any sort,
it is being proactive with our life expression, thoughts and feelings.
It is not just hiding our heads under the covers and “trying” to think good thoughts,
but in turn moving ourselves authentically into good feeling experiences which means to focus on the sun coming up each day, the people in our lives who love us, our dog excited we are playing fetch, our child hugging us, our lover desiring us, the food in our fridge, that our car works, our heart is beating, the birds are chirping, Ozarks has a season 4….lol
Whatever makes you genuinely feel good.
That is the ticket.
And to hold this good feeling though for just one minute each day without doubt.
Did you catch that?
Doubt destroys the feeling.
Doubt pulls us back to the fear and the hiding,
and from there we fall into our pain bodies and fight amongst ourselves which in turn keeps the fires of our world burning ever so more greatly.
To create the world and the life that we desire most for,
we must become AWARE and we MUST learn to find the beauty and empowerment in our own darkness,
When we can be grateful for our darkness we will then be able to see its truth in its offering to us and make conscious choices to breathe into life the world we crave most for.
Embrace the contrast.
And AS Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Learn to manifest an unbound life today.
IT TAKES COURAGE TO HAVE AN AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIP.
I have this belief that ALL…
Yes ALL people who are in an intimate relationship with another need to go through the inquiry and inner work as well and relating work that those who have successful open relationships do.
I believe that no matter how you label your relationship,
that you should explore authentic relating for what it really means.
Most monogamous couples “think” they know each other.
“Think” they love each other unconditionally.
“Think” they are best friends and trust each other.
“Think” they are doing it right and will have success.
Most people who decide to open up their relationships choose to do so at a low period in their primary relationship and “think” that opening up will fix something.
“Think” that you can just overnight shift gears and that this thing called inner work and couples work to set agreements, learn each other and communicate are not needed.
That you can go zero to 100 overnight so to speak.
Both cases are detrimental to the relationship.
And it’s because the number one issue in relationships is communication.
And I am sure you may be among the many who believes that you communicate well with your partner.
You may think that you got this fully taken care of ,
but I ask you, is this true?
98% of couples that I have worked with over the last 15+ years come in telling me that they are good if not great communicators,
that their partner is their bestie and they can tell them anything.
But not three sessions into coaching and the truth is discovered.
They suck at communication.
Because they keep it at a surface level.
There is no depth in relating.
And if they touch on depth,
it causes confrontation,
triggers old wounds and fears,
and both parties end up dancing in their ego’s and speaking from their pain bodies instead of their heart centers.
So they avoid it.
They shut their truth down,
they tell their partners a softer version or nothing at all,
and they hide the best they can from themselves for as long as they can as to not rock the perfect picture of a loving connected relationship that they are wanting to paint.
When the hard fact is that they have challenges.
It takes courage to speak up in a relationship.
It takes courage to be real in a relationship.
It takes courage to listen without trying to change, control or freak out about what might be being shared in a relationship.
It takes courage to remain stable inside yourself when living authentically with another.
And it takes courage to be raw and real with yourself so you can do all the above.
But f-ck is it worth it,
just like you are worth it and so is your relationship.
You see, if you are among the many who are not operating at this level of authentic relationship but desire open communication, unconditional love, acceptance, honesty and truth in the relationship and from your partner,
then how is it ever going to be possible if you live hiding from yourself and basing your feelings and actions in fear of losing your partner?
If you are making your partner responsible for your happiness and worthiness then how can they ever just be themselves and state their truth to you?
If you are holding expectations as to what they need to do, how they need to act then how can they share their truth with you about anything that may pose a difficult conversation? And how is this unconditional love?
If you define yourself based on your relationship,
which simply means you are not strong in WHO YOU ARE,
then how can you be truthful with another?
To be authentic, truthful and honest with another you first must KNOW YOURSELF and be strong at your core so you are not rocked by another.
Remember that humans are fickle.
We ebb and flow,
we all are live waves in our feelings, emotions, thoughts and that we get caught in our wounds as well as our desires.
In authentic relating we understand that
there is your business,
there is my business,
and there is God’s business,
and that we each are ONLY RESPONSIBLE for one of those.
Anything else is sticking our noses where they are not needed.
The most unconditional loving person is the person who knows themselves, loves themselves first, and can embrace their shadow self as well as their glorious light.
They know their worth and it is not dependent on any outside source.
This is a person who can love deeply and unconditionally.
This is a person who can truly be honest and real.
This is a person who is self-empowered and therefore has the ability to allow for their partner to grow, to speak, to change.
As it is so intended.
relationships need to evolve over time.
This means that both parties need to do the same.
Expecting ourselves, our partners or the relationship to remain the same,
causes stagnation to our individual growth and the evolution of our love and relationships.
This is the coward’s path.
And it typically results in two things:
It takes courage to relate authentically.
It takes courage to relate in unconditional love.
It takes courage to catch our control issues in a relationship.
It takes courage to see our fear based actions, feelings and thoughts for what they are… fear of our own inadequacies, fear of our worthiness and lack of value, the lack of personal acceptance cast onto our partner, and fear of abandonment.
But when we stand in courage and face our truth,
love ourselves through our fears,
we open the gates to deep, penetrative love and acceptance with our partner.
THIS is what we all crave and desire.
You are worthy of this beauty.
You are worthy of this sort of love.
Offer it to yourself and your partner today,
by starting with seeing YOURSELF authentically and leaning into those difficult conversations.
Reach out to me if you want information on how to go about just this and more.
Learn authentic relating no matter your relationship title to create an evolved loving relationship that fits your soul’s path now.
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
“CBD lovin’, anti-vaxxing, interracial family, sexually open and confident, slutty AF some may say, freedom focused, excepting of all.”
THIS is my lifestyle tagline.
THIS is my family tagline.
THIS is my belief’s tagline.
And why would this be my tag line?
Because I believe in freedom of speach, love, sex, religion,choices in life and believe that no matter who you are, ( race, religion, polical views, sex, sexual preferences, economic standing or other) that WE ARE ALL WORTHY.
Worthy of what you may ask?
Worthy of living.
Not just existing.
Worthy of all the things stated above.
Worthy of having our own opinions.
Worthy of not being shamed or stoned by others ideas, judgements, opinions or fears.
Worthy of just being us.
Many disagree with me on many topics.
And the thing that comes through the most in the conversations and debates is a desire to shush me.
To the point that recently I was multiple times told that I was a bad citizen for my views, that I was not compassionate and did not care for others, that I was a horrible human being, that I should shut up, and that if I get sick to not waste the medical systems time but to just die at home.
All of these statements came because of a disagreement in ideas and beliefs.
Differences of views.
All of these stones thrown had the strong feeling of wanting to shame, control and silence what did not align to their beliefs and views of current.
And as I read through comments of over a hundred plus,
I found myself sitting in gratitude for these individuals’ truth shares.
I am not a person that has an issue with seeing things differently then the masses,
differently then my lover, my child or my friend.
And I know that my views on life are a far cry from average and ordinary.
And it is beautiful to me that we humans are so diverse in our desires, our feelings and beliefs.
It’s what makes us each so unique.
But typically we deeply fear what is not like us.
What is not common or what we perceive as normal.
Our fear makes us want to eradicate whatever is not perceived the same as us.
And this has been our human nature forever.
The reason I do not lay claim to a religion is because religion is a prime example of this belief structure that there is ONLY ONE WAY.
I believe that we are all truly children of God no matter our race, belief, sex or preferences.
I believe that the creator moves through us all.
And that our differences are revealing how diverse God truly is.
I believe that “made in his image” does not refer to our race, sex or other but is actaully speaking of the energy, the life and consciousness, the love that resides in all of us.
I believe that we are each here to learn from one another and that one of our biggest life lessons is to learn to love our differences.
The only way that we can ever do this though is to learn to love ourselves at a deep level first.
To strip ourselves from this concept that we are here to please others ideas, views or beliefs about us.
Self-love comes from seeing our light and darkness and making peace with them both.
Self- love comes from knowing our own value.
Self- love comes from respecting ourselves enough to not sway to the worlds ideas and perceptions, nor to just give up ourselves because we make another uncomfortable with our views and beliefs.
Self- love is mandatory if we are to ever have true unconditional love for any other human as well.
And compassion can only come when we have it for ourselves first.
Same for any positive characteristic that we value such as respect or understanding.
If we believe that we are responsible for everyone elses everything and they for our feelings, fears and hopes then all we are showing is our lack of clarity within who we are.
To have understanding,
we need to listen,
we need to inquire,
we need to learn to breathe and not be so reactive,
jumping to conclusions.
We need to realize that this person that we want to have understand us,
desires the same.
The majority of our fights in our world and in our own homes comes about because we suck at communication skills.
And the ones listed above are the highlighted ones that need attention from all of us.
The radical conversations that are traveling around the world right now are just highlighting the true poison that resides within each of our lives.
It is fear.
And it is fear of differences more than anything else.
And so we run around pointing fingers and laying blame on everyone who thinks differently or looks differently proclaiming that we love unconditionally, stating that we are wanting peace, freedom, well being for all but continuing the blame game as we spew out our hatred and lack of toleration or desire to understand our fellow human beings.
All the while believing that we love ourselves and that is why we are fighting and hating.
When we speak such poison as some of the things I have heard the last few weeks it saddens my soul at how many people truly are lost within themselves and hold so much anger and hatred.
When we can get to a point where we can agree to disagree and still love our fellow human despite the difference,
then we will be in a place where we can heal and make true change in our world as well as in our communities and home.
But this will only happen when we can learn to love ourselves deeply. To look within ourselves and love all our flaws, all our sins, all our wounds as well as our beauty.
we will remain lost and hateful.
To all our beautiful differences.
Be the change, start loving unconditionally today, ‘starting with yourself.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Want to learn more about self-love practices that can transform your reality from average and ordinary to a F-ck Yes Life? Message me today.
There is a massive amount of fear, war, and destruction upon our world right now.
Its hard to come in contact with someone that is not caught up in the overwhelming negativity of our current world events.
And everyone has a view point on the events,
Of which many of which do not match anothers.
I have sat back witnessing all of these desperately sad and toxic messages that are being batted back and forth between races, political groups, and more.
All wanting thier voices to be heard.
But none wanting to take a breather and witness the other.
Yelling, screaming, shooting,
Burning down the walls of innocents as well as antagonizers.
So many getting caught in the middle.
So many good hearted, loving, people.
But the waring continues.
The desire to hunt down what is seen as wrong and destroy it.
For some that means that the simple act of being born with a skin color that they don’t deem acceptable makes for cause to war.
The fear of those who hate on them,
Who hunt them like animals,
Who harm the innocent as well as the criminals,
Equates to war.
Neither see the other side.
Both can only view what they fear.
And here is where they act from.
I want to say that our world 🌎 is under attack.
Our humanity is under attack.
And THIS is not something new.
This has been about us humans forever.
We have wared against other clans,
Since other clans became a thing.
We have feared other families,
And ANYTHING or ANYONE that is not of our own since the coming of human kind.
This war on humanity is nothing new.
It is a cry of pain masked under the egos hatred for what it does not understand
It will remain alive and rampant until we HUMANS… of all nations, all sexes, all religions choose to not let our egos of fear rule us. Until we humans choose to stop the insanity of letting the few master the many.
When we can step into our humanity,
When we can look in the mirror and at our core as an individual KNOW that today we acted toward all others as we would desire to have done to us,
When we can embrace that the killing,
The beating and all abuse,
The victimization of anyone,
IS NOT OKAY.
When we can look into our fellow humans eyes,
No matter thier beliefs, skin tone or sex,
And see God looking back at us in love,
Here is where the war will stop ✋.
Here is where we will see a change.
Here is where we will start to acknowledge our truth as a world society.
And until then,
We will war.
We will hate.
We will abuse and be abused.
We will point fingers.
We will victimize.
And we will let our egos rule our lives.
We will let our egos rule our sight,
Our words and our actions.
And we will believe that we are acting from the right space of our hearts as we continue to condemn all that we fear.
We will remain blind to our stupidity,
Because we will continue to be unconscious of our truth.
And the war between our clans will remain.
But I tell you this…
All lives do matter.
All of us matter.
All of us humans are worthy of love, respect, abundance, and safety.
This should be a no duh to you.
At this time in our world however,
No matter what your beliefs may be,
There is a segregation happening,
No matter the reason for it,
Whether its a polical ploy or not,
There is a group of our fellow humans who ARE and have been for centuries hunted.
We live in this beautiful modern time,
Where so many believe themselves to be intelligent and consciously aware,
Yet we have this war still happening.
And it IS POINTED….
if you cannot see that truth,
You are blinded by your own wounds and fear.
And if it were you and your family that were under attack,
That did not feel safe in the simplest of situations,
Then perhaps you would perceive differently.
Perhaps your heart would have its words heard a bit louder.
Or perhaps not.
This war is upon all of us my love.
It is a war on our humanity.
A war against our soul knowing,
And it is based in ego.
Where do you stand?
Let your actions and words show.
Instead of your wounds, fear and opinions.
Wake Up Lovely.
And As Always,
Stop Existing and Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers “
Good Morning Beautiful!
How did you sleep?
Were your slumbers restful and pleasant or did they have you tossing in your bed?
Did you wake refreshed, vibrant and charged for this day or are you among the many of the walking dead,
those who cannot bear the idea of waking because it’s just another groundhog day?
Day in and day out,
the same events,
the same stories,
the same people.
Waking with a feeling of “why?”
And does any of it,
Especially me, even matter?
Looking about your life and questioning if anyone truly cares.
Or are they only there for what you have to offer,
at their convenience.
Yes, you know that feeling.
That feeling of,
“Nobody sees me. Nobody loves me. Nobody cares.”
This beautiful is the Land of Nobody.
And it is not a pretty place to reside.
It is not a place that you can manifest your dreams from,
it will never call into your life your ideal lover,
the money that you crave for,
the health or success.
It will never bear the fruit of happiness.
Because you see beautiful,
the Land of Nobody,
is a fictitious land that you have created your misery from.
It is a land that you have bought into,
because it is what you feel comfortable in.
I just said that beautiful.
The Land of Nobody is one that brings you comfort.
That is a hard pill to swallow I know.
But it is so true.
Just as true as it is that this land will not bring you what you claim you want for,
and most certainly will not bring you what your soul is calling you toward,
and you see THAT is exactly why you are feeling so lost in yourself,
uncared for or valued.
And it is from this place of “UN” that you keep calling in the evidence to support your comfort in suffering.
You feel all the “UN” because IT IS NOT TRUE.
Your soul KNOWS differently.
Your soul see’s who you really are and what your life has to offer,
but you are withholding yourself from all your glory by focusing in on the finding of the evidence,
the proving to yourself and anyone who will listen,
that you are in the Land of Nobody wants me.
And the sad truth beautiful is that as long as you sit here,
focused on the “UN” and the nobody with such passion,
you will NEVER be able to “fix” the problem of what you are manifesting.
You will never feel loved.
You will never feel valued.
You will never feel wanted.
From this space.
And you will certainly not attract anyone into your world that will “MAKE YOU” feel that way.
Because you have created and keep creating a great momentum around not having it show up for you,
that even when the universe/God sends things into your life,
to show you how abundant and loved you really are,
you reject them by looking the other way,
or pushing your will onto life in an attempt to control it and “make it” happen,
thus supporting your need to show that you can’t have it without a fight.
Your belief is that life is hard.
That you must suffer.
That you have to work hard to get things that you want.
Your belief is that life is out to get you in some fashion and does not have your back.
But that belief is just a thought that you keep active by focusing on finding evidence for it.
You “think” it is such and therefore it is.
But you have to change the thoughts in your head,
and the way you are feeling about your life.
You have the WAKE THE F-CK UP.
And start witnessing what could be by putting your focus on that and then not trying to force it into existence.
God/Universe does not like being controlled like that,
Does not like having its hands tied,
and if you keep tieing them then you will keep getting what you have been,
because what you want for gets offered day in and day out,
opportunities to have it knock at your door,
but you keep your door locked up tight not allowing the Universe/God to reveal to you your value, your worthiness.
So if you won’t let the energy that has created universes to show you a brilliant life worth living and enjoying,
and all your dreams manifesting,
then how the f-ck do you ever expect the people in your life to show it to you?
YOU BEAUTIFUL have to open up to it.
You are the only one who can access any of it.
Putting your needs and desires onto others and then getting mad that they won;t do what you want,
when you want,
how you want,
is a self-centered, spoiled, egotistical action.
And will only keep providing you with not having.
So if you are among the millions who woke up today,
focused on not having what you want in life,
feeling like you are unloved,
Then this message is directed at you.
Because I fully understand that feeling of “UN”
that feeling of walking around the Land of Nobody,
and I can tell you that no solution or joy ever came from this place.
And we each may venture into this land every now and then,
but it is up to us,
and ONLY US,
venture right back out.
So take back your power beautiful,
stop handing it over to the ebbs of your life,
stop looking to not be supported,
and instead KNOW that you are with certainty.
Know that you are loved,
because you love yourself enough to wake the f-ck up and feel it for yourself,
you love yourself enough to stop disrespecting your life,
and instead to open up to it and receive its glory.
You are worthy beautiful.
You are loved.
You are appreciated and valued.
Venture In Certainty for what you want not what you fear.
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Let’s do this!
You and me,
Break free from your shiz once and for all and fall in love with the dynamic, powerhouse that YOU are.
No one is like you.
And you have a life worth sharing,
You have one life love.
Let’s make it a F-ck Yes! One NOW.
Message me for deet’s on how to do this.