Sexuality & Tantra (AKA – The Art of Living Fully)

shivashakti

Often I am asked “What is Tantra?” my answer to this question is – “Tantra is everything!”

But that answer is often to simple yet complex for many people to truly grasp what I am saying. So I have decided to take a moment and share what I mean in this statement of “tantra is everything.”

Tantra is about weaving together all parts of our life. That is why when we teachers/practitioners speak about improving our sexuality and sex lives that we also say that this will affect all other areas of our lives such as our relationships with our parents, siblings, children, co-workers and anyone who walks into our lives. Yet Tantra is NOT about sex alone. Matter a fact if you truly studied tantra and the teachings of the Dali Lama on the matter you would discover that sex is only about 5% to 10% at best of Tantra.

Why does sex get focused on then when we speak about Tantra?

There are a few reasons for this.

1. Sex sells! – Now I know that many of my fellow teachers out there just cringed at me saying this, but I am a realist in many ways and the facts are the facts. Sex is sexy. Sex is captivating and interesting. Sex is something we all desire more of and we are all under educated in. Sex is something that we know at our core is good for us for more reasons then procreation. Sex sells because it turns us on at our deepest levels. It always has and it always will.
2. Sex is normally the final frontier to tackle for even the most spiritual, self-growth focused, courageous, driven soul out there. And it is the one that is most interconnected to every aspect of our lives and to the world in general. Our sexing affects everything. That is why we focus on sexuality when we speak Tantra. Tantra in this area is about making our sex conscious.

Now this may seem different then what you were expecting. Hopefully it is comforting to know that Tantra and sex are NOT about prostitution (although those in this line of work who understand certain groundwork, certainly are sexual healers and not just working to make a quick buck so someone else can relieve some stress). Tantra does not make use of our sexuality so that one can experience a hot “body to body rub” either. Tantra makes use of our sexuality because through our sexing we create or lives. We create the structures of our futures. We manifest our desires, dreams and goals. We learn to face our shadows as well as our light and we learn how to fully love, accept and live in gratitude. Through our sexing we learn the importance of Living Fully, and this is Tantra.

This is why you will hear me speak about Gourmet Sexing verses Fast Food Sexing.

Gourmet sexing is a spiritual practice of deep love and acceptance. Not only of our partner but of ourselves and of all of life.

Gourmet sexing is healing. It can help us to release past programs, trauma and suffering. It can be the creative spark that changes everything and helps us to transform our very existence. Through gourmet sexing we find peace and bliss. This is Conscious Sex!

Fast food sexing is all about using ourselves or another for stress release or power. It is about controlling another. It is about quick fixes, disconnectedness, limited to no intimacy and remaining unconscious to all our levels of being. Fast food sexing is a short circuit to living fully. It prevents us from ever achieving the beauty, connection and authentic loving that we so desire. It disenables us from our true power and thus from bliss.

Perhaps these terms will help you to understand a bit better the significant role that sex plays on our lives and that through the art of Tantra we can achieve what we all desire. A live lived well and full. A life of appreciation, love, acceptance, honor and conscious bliss.

So what is Tantra?

Tantra is the Art of Living Life Fully!

Now the only question is. “Will you accept the journey of conscious living?”

I sure hope so because you my friend ARE WORTH IT!!!!

–KW

How to Unleash Your Feminine Power & Heal Your Vagina

individual-womanThis musing is intended for all the lovely women of the world but I am certain that many men out there will read this and for you incredible gentlemen who do please know that I would greatly appreciate your help if it crosses your heart to share this musing with the woman or women in your life. The power of this information is a must in our day and age and for human relationship in general.

For you lovely ladies, you are GODDESSES. Can you feel that divine beauty and power inside yourself or has the world of today so focused on the masculine style of living and doing masked you from your true grace and power? Let me ask you ladies this:

Are You A Woman Who Feels Stress/Tension/Blockages In Your Vagina or Core?

Let’s face it every day life is full of stress. If you are a mother like I am it can seem some days that you are lucky to get your teeth brushed let alone anything else. Add in the stress that many have of relationships that are troubled, financial concerns and pressures, career and any past trauma that may arise at any given moment it is amazing that we can focus on much of anything with out constant emotional or physical upheaval. All of these things when not properly processed in the mental/physical/emotional bodies can all lead to tension and blockages in our vagina’s and at our core. It is extremely important to cleanse, rejuvenate & reactivate positive healing energy to these zones of discord. But How can we do this on a daily basis in a comfortable, easy to manage way?

Are You One Of Many Women Who Want To Come Back into and/or Unleash Their Sensuality And Femininity

Today’s world finds us in a time of transition. We have so many men and women who are feeling lost and long deeply for real, authentic connection, yet do not know how to achieve this. Women have been programmed to believe that living in a masculine, focused, driving and striving for material success form is the way to be. This form of being has created a world of women who are more masculine then feminine. It has created a world where we women feel that being feminine means being overly emotional, unstable and powerless. It has created the idea that the only way to true success and value in life is to act in the energy of what men do instead of allowing ourselves the power of our hearts to create, dance, love and be women.

Sensuality is almost a lost art for many women. Many of us have become technical in our loving and sexing skills and are afraid to let our divine sensual nature out. Yet it is this nature that is our TRUE power!But how do we allow ourselves to be feminine, soft, emotional, sensual, trusting and do I dare even say it VULNERABLE in this day and age without losing ourselves to a man who wants to control or a world that says that we cannot or should not be this way?

Are You A Woman Who Feels Numbness/Tension or Stiffness In And Around Your Genitals

I personally spent years with this issue. I pushed myself to have painful sex with my partner even when I knew I would be in pain for the next week from it. I tried to ignore the constant onset of vaginal discomfort, dryness and even yeast infections because I had tried everything I could to heal these issues with no luck. And what I discovered was that every part of my body (just like yours) corresponds to my emotional and spiritual state of being. I discovered that all the creams, medical treatments and the ignoring of patterns only added on to my problems and were not real cures to what was actually happening at a much deeper level then my physical body. I had to do something out of my box of comfort to once and for all heal my body or I was destined to live in a state of misery. So what did I do and is it something that any woman in any state of being can duplicate for herself to heal as well? Is it something that can be achieved quickly, easily and naturally?

Are You Woman Who Feels Guilt/Shame/Fear Or Has Experienced Trauma In Your Life

Many women have stored negative and/or fearful emotions or trauma within their vagina yet traditional western medicine and styles of living DO NOT want to approach this topic. The biggest issue with the way many of us have been raised is that we have these stored experiences without knowing or realizing it, matter a fact we do not even want to accept it because it means dealing with our girly parts and that is just not acceptable. After all they are dirty, forbidden and only really for procreation. We certainly do not openly get education or training on how to heal them naturally or admit that there may be something wrong that we need help with. Yet we can accept without any issue at all that we get tension headaches, or feel stress in our backs, necks and shoulders. We understand that getting an ill feeling in our gut is a sign that perhaps something is not right, but how can our vagina’s have this inner knowing and voice too? And do they really store negative energy and emotions like all our other body parts? The result of ignoring this is a tense, sore, non or infrequently orgasmic vaginaSo how can we heal this?

Are You A Woman Who Has Had Children and Wants to Restore Your Vaginal Health & Strength

Anyone who has had a child or children knows that it takes some time to recover from delivery. Even if you had a C-section your womb needs time to heal and restore itself back to a pre-delivery/pregnancy state. In general with daily maintenance it takes at least 9 month to 18months to fully heal from the birth of a baby. Often, during this time many women have a tough time doing daily vaginal exercises and do not fully understand the importance of them anyway, leaving them years later with weak bladders, weak vaginal walls, PC muscles, painful cervix’s and weak to no orgasms along with many other issues such a out whack pH levels, imbalanced hormones and what is known of as the mummy tummy. So how can you prevent and/or even reverse these issues and more without surgery or major challenges?

Are You One Of The Many Women Who Want To Experience Better, Painless and More Frequent Orgasms

Hard to orgasm even with a vibrator or is with a vibrator the ONLY way you can? Lack of interest in sex? You just cannot produce the lubrication that you use too so sex is painful? You wish you could feel your partner more but you just feel dead down there? These are all issues that I personally have experienced and I know through the coaching of hundreds of women that they are common as well. So are there treatments outside of pills, man-made lubricants that don’t really work and cause the delicate pH levels of the vagina to become out of balance as well, or other pharmaceutical treatments that can REALLY help in healing and curing these issues as well as stimulate better orgasms even G-spot orgasms?

Are You A Woman Who Wants To Heal Their Mind, Body & Soul Holistically

Through ancient Chines/Taoist and Tantric practices you can experience a fully healed, charged and orgasmic state of being in ALL areas of your life. By opening up to cleansing and removing the blockages of your vagina through a few self-practice treatments done daily or weekly at home you can have the life that you have always wanted. Restoring vaginal health, strength and well being. You can harmonize your emotions and hormones. You can discover better orgasms. You can heal vaginal health issues without drugs. Reduce PMS symptoms as well as menopause.

Yes you have the opportunity to learn these 5000 year old secrets of high priestesses, queens, sexually liberated women from deep in the heart of time that WILL for certain change your life and allow you to lead a liberated, shame free, powerful, orgasmic state of being.

So the ONLY question now is: Are You Ready To Heal and Say YES to YOURSELF?

If you answer yes then please note that there are two ways for you to learn these secrets and more for your vaginal health and strength. 1) Private Coaching with Kendal 2) The Power of Vaginal Weight Lifting and Other Sexual Secrets Workshop Email me direct to find out if a class in session soon and more about 1+1 Coaching. tantrictransformation@gmail.com

Are Negative Emotions Blocking Your Drive?

mind-body-connection-exercises

Humans experience an array of emotions, anything from happiness, to sadness to extreme joy and depression. Each one of these emotions creates a different feeling within the body. After all, our body releases different chemicals when we experience various things that make us happy and each chemical works to create a different environment within the body. For example if your brain releases serotonin, dopamine or oxytocin, you will feel good and happy. Convexly, if your body releases cortisol while you are stressed, you will have an entirely different feeling associated more with the body kicking into survival mode.

What about when we are thinking negative thoughts all the time? Or how about when we are thinking positive thoughts? What about when we are not emotionally charged to neither positive nor negative? Let’s explore how these affect our body and life.

POSITIVE VS. NEGATIVE

Is there duality in our world? Sure, you could say there is to a degree, but mostly we spend a lot of time defining and judging what is to be considered as positive and what we consider to be as negative. The brain is a very powerful tool and as we define what something is or should be, we begin to have that result play out in our world. Have you ever noticed, for example that someone driving can get cut off and lose their lid, get angry and suddenly they are feeling negative, down and in  bad mood? Whereas someone else can get cut off while driving and simply apply the break slightly and move on with their day as if nothing happened. In this case, the same experience yet one sees it as negative while the other doesn’t. So are things innately positive and negative? Or do we define things as positive and negative?

CUT THE PERCEPTIONS AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE

After thinking about it for a moment you might realize that there are in fact no positive or negative experiences other than what we define as such. Therefore our very perception of an experience or situation has the ultimate power as to how we will feel when it’s happening and how our bodies will be affected. While we can always work to move beyond our definitions of each experience and move into a state of mind/awareness/consciousness where we simply accept each experience for what it is and use it as a learning grounds for us, we may not be there yet and so it’s important to understand how certain emotions can affect our health.

“If someone wishes for good health, one must first ask oneself if he is ready to do away with the reasons for his illness. Only then is it possible to help him.” ~Hippocrates

MIND BODY CONNECTION

The connection between your mind and body is very powerful and although it cannot be visually seen, the effects your mind can have on your physical body are profound. We can have an overall positive mental attitude and deal directly with our internal challenges and in turn create a healthy lifestyle or we can be in negative, have self destructive thoughts and not deal with our internal issues, possibly even cloak those issues with affirmations and positivity without finding the route and in turn we can create an unhealthy lifestyle. Why is this?

Our emotions and experiences are essentially energy and they can be stored in the cellular memory of our bodies. Have you ever experienced something in your life that left an emotional mark or pain in a certain area of your body? Almost as if you can still feel something that may have happened to you? It is likely because in that area of your body you still hold energy released from that experience that is remaining in that area. I came across an interesting chart that explores some possible areas that various emotions might affect the body.

When you have a pain, tightness or injuries in certain areas, it’s often related to something emotionally you are feeling within yourself. At first glance it may not seem this way because we are usually very out of touch with ourselves and our emotions in this fast paced world, but it’s often the truth. When I’ve had chronic pains in my back, knees, neck or shoulders, it wasn’t exercise, physio or anything in a physical sense that healed it, it was when I dealt with the emotions behind it. I know this because I spent the time and money going to physio and even though I wanted and believed I would get better, something wasn’t being addressed still. The more I addressed the unconscious thought pattern and emotions throughout my body, the more thins loosened up and pain went away. When you get sick or are feeling a lot of tightness and pain, often times our body is asking us to observe yourself and find peace once again within yourself and your environment. It’s all a learning and growing process we don’t have to judge nor fear.

YOU HAVE THE POWER

Davis Suzuki wrote in ‘The Sacred Life’, ‘condensed molecules from breath exhaled from verbal expressions of anger, hatred, and jealousy, contain toxins. Accumulated over 1 hr, these toxins are enough to kill 80 guinea pigs!’ Can you now imagine the harm you are doing to your body when you stay within negative emotions or unprocessed emotional experience throughout the body? Remember, you have all the power in you to get through anything life throws at you. Instead of labeling with perception the concepts of negative and positive as it relates to each experience you have in your life, try to see things from a  big picture standpoint. Ask yourself, how can this help me to see or learn something? Can I use this to shift my perception? Clear some emotion within myself? Realize something within another and accept it? Whatever it may be, instead of simply reacting, slow things down and observe. You will find you have the tools to process emotions and illness quickly when you see them for what they are and explore why they came up. If you believe you will get sick all the time, and believe you have pain because it’s all out of your control, you will continue to have it all in an uncontrollable manner until you realize the control you have over much of what we attract within the body. Credits: Joe Martino of Collective Evolution Original Posting of Article @ The Mind Unleashed

Photo Credit to Awesome Mind Secrets

Tantra as a Spiritual Path

Recently I did a talk for Daniel D’Neuville at the Harmony Wellbeing Center in Irving Texas. I found the center to be very peaceful and inviting as well as the modalities offered  through them to be among some of the best in the Texas area from what I can tell. I strongly encourage anyone in the DFW area and even those who are not but looking for holistic alternatives to healing to explore the story of this wellness center. The founder has a powerful tale of overcoming Parkinson’s through the use of some of the services now offered at this location.

Now as for the topic of my talk the other night: Tantra as a Spiritual Path

Funny enough even though in recent times and mostly brought on by the closed mindedness of our society Tantra has been forgotten as a spiritual path, however when one researches it they will quickly see it primarily defined as just this; a spiritual path. Thus what tantra is known for in today’s western world is not primarily as a spiritual practice but as a way to infuse ones sexing with “hawt” moves and positions. It has also gotten a reputation as a sexual practice for those who do not believe in marriage, monogamy or any form of a committed relationship. These judgement’s on Tantra have led for much miseducation and even instilled fear in the common population, making it hard for those who honesty practice the spiritual nature of this beautiful art.

In truth the sexual practices of Tantra even though they do exist are the minor of the practice. Marriage, monogamy and committed relations are not something that those who practice Tantra avoid or discourage. These relationship forms are very much alive and active in the Tantra world, however as one expands consciousness and heals their physical, emotional and mental bodies they also experience a liberation of societal constraints, often referred to as openness. This openness allows for an individual to accept where they or their partner is at any given moment in a relationship and sometimes can lead to what is know as an open or polyamorous relationship. Do not be fooled to think that these forms of relationship are anything but committed. When one embarks on such a path with their partner they have to commit to a higher standard of trust, integrity and personal growth as well as love. Without these core things in place all will fall to the waste side. Such high consciousness relationships are based on COMMUNICATION and INTEGRITY. So much so that I have found the average “marriage” or committed relationship not open, trusting or even unconditionally loving enough to handle the truth of this deep heart based communication.

Sacred Sexuality

Tantra teaches sacred sexuality and this is what is marketed around the world for the most part. Humanity has struggled with sexuality and similar related topics, but interestingly enough there has always been arts and sciences devoted to the honoring of the sacred, sexual self. In fact all of the cosmoses origins are birthed in a sensual dance of lovemaking. These creative forces are found in all of  cosmic and human manifestations. The Divine Masculine and Feminine are everywhere! Look at EVERY major religion and philosophy and you will discover a sect devoted to mysticism. Each sect of mysticism has a sector devoted to consciously comprehending and exploring the deeper concepts of sexuality and its sacredness as well as the integration of spirituality and sexuality.

So what does Tantra mean anyway?

Tantra is a Sanskrit word of two parts. The prefix, tan, means “to expand, to join or weave.” The latter part, tra, means “tool.” When placing these two together you get the definition — ” a tool to expand, liberate, and bring together.” 

Tantra does this through the practice of many spiritual, emotional, mental and physical tools that assist in the development of our kundalini energy. Kundalini energy is our, as well as the universes essence or vital force. This 3 1/2 coiled serpent power that resides in our beings at the base of the spine is understood as the mechanism that awakens and expands. This “awakening” as you will hear it referred to the most is what leads to fulfillment, realization, liberation, and salvation. This awakening comes about through breath work, meditation, bodywork, ceremonies and rituals, yoga practices, as well as the presence and the weaving of all of life together and the ability to face and press through ones inner caverns where our ghosts and demons hide, allowing for spiritual light and healing to create a new reality.

The coils: Prana, Chitta and Para all have a separate role in our ascension process.

Prana kundalini which is essentially the energy that powers the fluctuation of the cerebral spinal fluid within the spinal column is commonly known as The Breath of Life. It is the fluctuation within the cerebral fluid that is considered within the spiritual tradition to be the essence of the three faze respiration process that powers ones physiology. With this coil of kundalini you experience all of your bodily functions and movements within this experiential world.

Chitta kundalini, which is Sanskrit for mind stuff is the vital energy of the mind. It is due to chitta that we are able to take in all the senses as well as information and structure it within as our personal history. This formation of personal history is how we manifest our instincts and our views of the world.

Para kundalini, which is the highest form is the universal vital life force essence itself. I refer to it as the God Spark. It is the source from which all of experience is delivered. It is within this that we experience Spanda. Spanda is Sanskrit meaning to move a little. Better described as the extremely soft and subtle vibrations of the universe. This energy has been referred to as the Holy Ghost, that quiet still voice that comes upon us in certain times of awakening and communing with God that softly moves us. However it is commonly known as microwaves, discovered by Bell Labs back in the 1960’s. A microwave is a subtle vibration which at the time of the study seemed to be equal throughout the entire universe. This very subtle vibration was the residue of the Big Bang and the residual vibration of the energy that the whole universe was formed from.

This Para kundalini is what tantric body work helps to expand throughout a being. As all three coils open (awaken) they travel though the chakra system detoxifying a person on EVERY level. This detoxification process can sometimes happen quickly but often can take months or even years. Once complete an individual is basically born again. This time they find themselves in a new world, with new thinking programs and new realities birthing from the way the process and experience life. A  beautiful but often painful struggle must be made to ascend to these deeper, more expansive forms of personal consciousness, but when ones does they learn to live openly full of unconditional love and acceptance in gratitude and humility. A life of Soul Integrity.

This is what Tantra as a Spiritual Practice focuses on. Unlike  most other spiritual and religious practices tantra teaches that in order to awaken this higher state of consciousness one must be allowed and even encouraged  to FULLY EMBRACE ALL of Life. 

Tantra and Enlightenment

OK, so few enter the world of Tantra looking for enlightenment, or at least few enter knowing that they are looking for enlightenment. Most come for better sex, to find intimacy or to improve relationships. But perhaps all of these longings are ultimately for the same thing, a sort of deep inner urge for something deeper, something higher.

After all, perhaps the search for extraordinary sexual experience is also the search for death…not the physical kind, but a certain death into the beyond. Beyond everyday reality, beyond everyday concerns and worries, beyond thought…beyond mind…is that not also the definition of meditation?

The French, in their wisdom, call orgasm le petit mort, the “little death”. Perhaps an insight into the spiritual nature of sex, the glimpse of enlightenment through sex.

And intimacy… the craving to connect, to open with another. The fuel behind relationships. Is this not also the search for love? And what is love, if not a dissolving beyond self…is that not also the definition of meditation?

The great thing about Tantra is that if you step into it because you want to be a chick-magnet or score a husband, it doesn’t matter…it takes you towards enlightenment anyway, towards awakening, towards source. That is the magic of Tantra.

Sometimes I reckon it is better not to think about enlightenment…it is not worth getting too heady about, and one is bound to fall into confusion or delusion. Because one is trying to think the unthinkable, and this can lead to either feeling like you will never ever get “it”, or get all muddled about what it’s all about.

Even worse, thinking about it all may lead to a case of “doing enlightenment”, walking around pretending to be in the moment, acting out being non-attached…if you find yourself walking with your head above everyone else’s you are bound to have fallen into this delusion. Because, after all, enlightenment is about recognising our Oneness, not our superiority!

In Tantra it is possible to cultivate states in which one experiences dissolving into something greater than self, a state of ecstasy. In such a state a realization occurs, a sort of remembering who we really are. Or perhaps a forgetting of who we are not! Such states are delightful, and help to loosen the hold of the “illusion” that we are a separate self.

However, an experience is an experience, the very definition of it is that it comes and it goes. So at some point the ecstasy passes and we may return to selfhood once more. The great thing is that the belief and certainty that you once had about your own identity becomes softened each time you crack the shell open. You can open to new possibilities…maybe you are part of a universal life, an interconnected web, a oneness after all.

A pitfall is to get over-attached to the experiences, and to mistake them for something you are trying to attain. Then you become addicted to ecstasy, grasping over and over to repeat them or to cultivate a new experience. Experience can be seen as a mirror; it helps us to know who we are. But we do not need to hold onto the actual mirror, we do not need to cling to the experience. Tantra teaches us the art of experiencing totally and then letting go.

We sometimes carry the unquestioned assumption that enlightenment is an experience that will someday start and never end. We imagine one day we wake up and fireworks are going off, and we will forever see life though rainbow glasses. But if your enlightenment was a permanent  mind-blowing ecstasy, the type that you generate from certain practices, it would be very hard to get the laundry done.

We often hear that enlightenment is very simple, ordinary even. Yet it is not the “ordinary” of mainstream existence, else we would not be seeking something else… perhaps this kind of ordinary is more the kind of the all-knowing twinkle in the eye. Nothing to shout about; a deep resting in what is, a light-hearted humourful way to play in life…knowing all is not what it appears to be. Ordinary but not ordinary.

How do we live in this way? The key is integration. The art of integrating extraordinary experiences into one’s everydayness. The fusion of the profound and the profane. In Tao and Tibetan Tantra they speak of this as the dissolving of all duality into the core, into the center. Yes, even ecstasy and ordinariness can meet, and dissolve back into the core.

This core, or center, is often thought of as the Source Point. The part of us that is Source; our un-changing presence. This might sound profound, but you can think of it as the part of you that was the same when you were 3, same when you were 21…and will be the same when you are 101. It is the witness that watches life unfolding. In Tantra we use strong experiences to build a deeper connection to this witness-consciousness. Experiences are depicted as Shakti dancing, and the witness is Shiva watching.

Some non-tantric paths of enlightenment encourage the recognition and resting-in of this witness-consciousness at the expense of Shakti, of experience.  This is the ascetic path…denying experience in order to fall into presence, in a way it is denying life in order to know death. Tantra is not ascetic. Tantra says yes to it all. Tantra takes the life and the death and finds out how they meet.

So there is quality of enlightenment within Tantra that is, as Osho says “total”. When one chooses to open to all flows of energy, emotion and experience (shakti), one becomes so total with life that one dissolves into it. There is no separation between you and life. You are life. And yet you are also the death beyond all life. And you are the source of all life and death.

And you thought you were signing up for better sex and easy relationships??!! Welcome to Tantra!

www.sextospirit.com

Sex + Yoga: Orgasmic Enlightenment

Sex and yoga have a lot in common. They’re both about opening and stretching into new places. Going deep inside yourself to find strength and endurance you didn’t know you had. Softening and letting go to remove your civilized layers and return to yourself.

You can use each to amplify the power of the other.
I went on a remote yoga retreat with my lover last fall. It was life-changing. I was cracked open wider and wilder than I have ever been before.
The combination of having a full week devoted just to us, quantum-leaped our connection. Doing yoga together daily stretched the crusty parts of us open and dissolve. Being immersed in an off-the-grid experience (no electricity, sleeping in open-air villas) reconnected us to our natural rhythms.
Sex is part of your natural rhythm.
Like yoga, the more you commit to it, and trust it and learn to let go, it will transform you. The little parts of you that get in your way, your defenses, your ego and chatter mind, can all be dissolved through a powerful yoga session.
Or an hour of life-shifting sex.
I recommend taking a weeklong sex date several times a year to get out of your routine, and into each other. You will revitalize your selves, cells and relationship.
In between those weeks, you can maximize your time in yoga classes and during your weekly sex dates.
Here’s where sex and yoga come together:
1) What happens in bed and on the mat carries out into life. What I love about yoga, is the microcosm. I physically open, stretch and cultivate a practice of letting go. When I leave the class, I feel more open, patient and relaxed.
Sex has the same impact on me: when I am assertive and strong in bed, it strengthens my assertiveness and strength in life. The more I allow myself to receive pleasure in bed, the more open to it I am (and expect it) in my day-to-day existence.
2) Sex and yoga rebirth you. Yoga helps you to leave your ego and the constructed parts of yourself behind. The more you practice, the more you relate to the world from a natural, un-self-conscious place.
After cataclysmic sex, I stumble out of the bedroom and the world feels new. I feel new. This is one of the major reasons why I am such an advocate for the spiritual and therapeutic benefits of sex: it transforms us.
There is a good reason why we call orgasm “la petite mort.”
3) Sanctuary. We all need a place to retreat. We take off our armor, sigh, and are held. Yoga gives you a space to unwind your tension and sink deep into yourself.
Sex does this twofold: you open and sink into yourself and into another person.
4) Breath is key. In yoga, the poses are a vehicle to move the breath. Yoga is like a breath-bath. Every nook and cranny of your being gets cleansed. The breath unclogs stuck energy and gets your system flowing optimally again.
During sex, breathe as consciously and fully as you would during yoga. The breath carries potent, sexual energy (even stronger than regular “chi” or “prana”) throughout your body, rejuvenating and healing you in the process. Deeper breathing also leads to full-body orgasms, multiple orgasms and stamina-building in men.
5) Balancing out with the feminine. Yoga is fantastic for getting you into your archetypal feminine energy: learning how to flow, be receptive and surrender.
In our busy, modern lives, most of us live from our “masculine.” We do more, stay active and driven in order to achieve. We forget that learning to open, attract and receive can be as powerful for getting things done.
The art of surrender is the key to powerful sex. Both sexes can tap into the state of learning how to receive, and how to be.
6)  Flexibility in mind and body. The best sex is borne out of an open, non-judgmental way of being: everything is accepted. Plus, the physical ability to hold challenging yogic postures clearly transfers into a talent for marathon sex.
It goes both ways: the ability to cultivate four-hour orgasms will strengthen your yoga practice.
7) Pelvic power. Yoga tones the pelvic floor, bringing more conscious awareness. You will improve sexual sensitivity and boost your orgasmic potential and control.
Sex and yoga help to lubricate the hips and the heart: both crucial tools for day-to-day living and loving. Use both as tools to breakthrough to a state of yo-gasmic bliss.
Written by Kim Anami
image via Peter Hegre
Published July 8, 2012 at 2:40 PM
Original Post at MindBodyGreen

Immersion of the Dragon — My Session with Alexander Brighton by Kendal Williams

As I walked up to Alexander’s door I had no idea what to expect in this tantric session. Having experience in Tantra and in healing sessions should set me at ease, however as I have discovered it truly has nothing to do with a session and EVERYTHING to do with what we are dealing with internally. At this particular time in my life I was dealing with a few emotional and physical challenges.  All of which I knew in my heart had to transform, but I was scared of the outcome. This particular session with Alexander Brighton was about my longing for harmony and transformation of these events in my life.

At first sight Alex calmed me with his whimsical happy smile and leprechaun sparkle in his eye. His playful, loving spirit breathed through my reservations and nervousness.  A warm tender hug and then guidance into his sacred space. Here he shared with me a quick over view of the session, revealing that we would be traveling away from his sacred space for the first part of the session.
Once I was present and feeling safe he asked permission to blind fold me. I agreed.
Then the REAL adventure began!

He guided me to his car, seated me comfortably inside and then drove me to our destination. As he parked the car in the driveway I could feel my heart rate increase. I was nervous and excited. What had he planned? What sort of adventure and healing awaited me?

The car door opened.
He took my hand in his, helped me out of the car and along a walk-way. I could hear a door opening then feel a cool breeze. I was inside a building of some sort. He had me sit down in a comfortable chair, asking me to relax and breathe deeply into my stomach. Telling me to breathe like Buddha. Deep, deeper. As deep as I could into my stomach to clear out all the old negative air and energy in my lungs, in all the corners where it had been stagnant for some time. Release all that I no longer needed.

As I did this he left my side for a few moments to prepare.
Next thing I knew he was by my side again. Guiding me yet through another doorway. Each doorway was magical in itself. In looking back I can see that each door way was a significant part of the session journey. Representing passageways that I had to cross through on my own free will.

This new location was warm. I could feel moisture in the air and hear the sound of waterfalls. Music playing in the background.  Its dance in the air accompanying me in each step of this healing. Alexander came to my side, close.
So close.
I could feel his breath on my shoulder, my cheek. It was arousing to only feel his breath and his light touch on my arm and shoulder.  Softly in my ear he asked for permission to remove my clothing.

Slowly sliding my dress down my body I could now feel the sun light kiss my skin, the breeze wrap its loving arms around me. Alex took both of my hands and slowly walked me over to where the ripple of waters sang a song of their life. Guiding me step by step he carefully walked me into a cool pool of healing water.  With each step into the pool I could feel a freshness of spirit come upon me. Alexander stood before me placing his hand on my chest and asking yet again for permission.
“Do I have permission of the goddess to hold you?”
“Yes.”

With my permission he took my naked body into his arms and floated me in the water. The water slowly molding itself to my body. My breasts partly revealed to the cool air.  I could feel his hands holding me in safely as he guided me through a meditation. Taking me to depths of energetic levels. Asking me to merge fully with my ethereal body. To trust in him, his voice, and his presence in this space. I could feel not only my breath under the water but his as well. His voice muted by the water my body almost fully emerged, I relaxed. Fully! His strong hands carrying me in safety.

As I released my stress and thoughts my body became more fluid like the water I was floating in. I felt only my breath and my heart. I imagine this is what outer space must feel like. Or perhaps this is the feeling of crossing over, of the release of our physical body?

Next he guided my floating body over to a place to sit. Here he sat behind me. Wrapping his legs and arms around my naked body. Sensual, arousing and safe. His hands gently found a home on my heart chakra at first. Here he guided me back into my body. Asking me to feel myself, to breathe and to be aware of the moment.  Slowly he placed his hands on my root chakra. Asking me to focus on the color red (the energy associated with this chakra). Then asked me to breathe, deep into the chakra as his hand massaged me. Warmth cascaded up my torso. A feeling of sexual arousal and connection all in one as he guided me into my root, connecting me to the earth, to my mother and to myself. Once I felt complete he moved his hand up to my second chakra, asking me to focus on the color orange and with each chakra he submerged me more and more into the waters of spirit and of self love and acceptance.

Soft tears cascaded down my cheek as the babbles of water sang along side me and Alexander’s warm hands  caressed me. His ability to not only hold space but comfort my crying soul as it released what was no longer needed was powerful in this moment. It was as though he was carefully holding my very soul and heart in his hands, kissing it with his energy and telling me that everything was going to be perfect.

That I was perfect.

Just as I was.

As he worked his way through my chakras and I released all the stuck energies I softened and relaxed even more into his cradle. Here I wanted to be. Here I accepted that every beginning in this life came from some other beginnings ending. Here I was at peace and in love with what was. I was soul. I was love and in love with the ONLY person that ever mattered in my life. Myself. Allowing me to forgive, release and heal all that I “thought” I could not previously let go. Here I could only feel love and acceptance. Support and harmony.

Here is where I still go today with each memory that I have of this blessed session with Alexander Brighton.  Thank you Mr. Brighton for being the inspiration, the teacher and friend that you are to so many in this world. Thank you for assisting me and supporting me on this life path and staying open in love with me as I move forward and sometimes backward. Your souls light is something that brings a smile to my face as I am sure it does to anyone open in allowing you to touch their own.
This Fire Dragon expresses GREAT appreciation and love for all that you do in the healing of the feminine and masculine energies of the world!

Balance or Harmony by Alexander Brighton

So many people that I’ve had conversations with have told me that they are seeking balance in their life.    I decided to go look up the word balance on dictionary.com.   It read a state of equilibrium.  Searching further equilibrium means a state of rest due to the equal action of opposing forces.     When you have two or more opposing forces that are exerting equal action you can develop balance.    As we move through our daily lives we have more than 2 opposing forces at any one time.    Rarely do these forces exert equal action or force.     So if you can only have balance with opposing forces exerting equal force then the realization of balance never develops.   

How many times have we been faced with opposing thoughts(forces)?  Here’s an example that we’ve all faced.   I have to go to work, however, I’d much rather stay home and spend time with a loved one.    These are not applying equal action on us.   If the need for money is greater it will exert greater force.     If the need for connection with the loved one is greater than the need  of money then taking the day off would be exerting greater force.   Balance or equilibrium needs opposing forces to be created.    Opposing forces create a duality within us.     That duality rarely ever has equal action on both sides, there for balance is missed and our lives are lopsided.    Like that shopping cart with the one flat spot on the wheel that goes clunk clunk clunk as we walk through the grocery store.

 Whats the alternative then? Harmony.

Again going back to dictionary.com harmony means a consistent, orderly, or pleasing arragment of parts.    When we move away from trying to get opposing forces to exert equal action at the same time, we can start to build harmony in our lives.   Instead of dealing with the duality of opposing forces, build your life so there is agreement with all the different forces in your life.    I will go to work today and then take my loved one out for a nice dinner, or make a nice dinner. Even when something is out of balance it can still be in harmony.    That shopping cart that I mentioned earlier.   If you are out of balance and out of harmony with your life that constant clunk might push you to the point of madness.   

However, if you are out of balance AND in harmony  you might notice that that clunk is in perfect time with the music playing in the store and smile.  Some that I have talked to want to find balance for every aspect of their life.    This is mostly impossible.    Just take gender as an example I hear people all the time state they want to balance their masculine and feminine energy.   These are opposing forms of energy.  Very complementary but opposite.   Whether  you are male or female you have both energies within you.    However they are rarely ever to the point that they are applying or exerting equal action in your life so then how can you balance them.    Working to get the masculine and feminine to be in harmony though, that’s beautiful.   They no longer have to be exerting equal action.   You could be 75% feminine and 25% masculine and still be in harmony.    The energies working in harmony to create the consistent, orderly, or pleasing arrangement of parts or energies in this case.  You give up the battle of duality of trying to be 50% feminine and 50% masculine.   

As you start to apply the harmony principle to your life you will start to find that things may come into balance naturally.   Harmony allows us to take a step back from the constant battle of duality.    It allows us to build ONE life that flows by taking these forces and into a simultaneous combination.    Where each force becomes a note on the music of your life.     A piece of music that you are the author of.  

What do you want the music of your life to sound like?

Bobcat Under the Dancing Stars

starbrightThe night air was warm and muggy, my flesh felt moist to the touch as the breeze blew across the grasses that lay beside my body.  Starring up into the heavens, begging something in this vast expression of god’s touch to speak to me, to guide me, to make the pain of my heart chakra stop and in the same moment tears of gratitude flooded my eyes and rolled down my cheeks.  As the tears caused distortion to my sight I latched onto one single star in the heavens. It seemed so alone in the night sky.  Alone and yet surrounded by billions of other energy bodies all dancing and flickering happily. This one solo star though radiated stronger then the majority of it relations.  My tears made the stars gleam blur and swim in colors. A beautiful solo dance had manifested itself just for me as I lay there. The universe was speaking as it always does if we are willing to listen. Just like the ocean that carries many stories and yet holds on to none, so was the message of love for me this night.  Love is meant to be ever expanding yet we try and control it, we try and box it up, protect the one’s we love and ourselves from the pain of the beauty of the light of love. When instead what we should be doing is embracing the moments and realizing that each soul that comes into our lives changes us. Quantum physics is discovering that our capacity of our energies to blend with other energies is never ending. As a result we all become a composite of EVERY soul we have ever encountered.  Showing us the importance to surround ourselves with people whose souls will nurture our own.  No man or woman is an island. We have no choice but to absorb the energies of others. It is natural and automatic. Weather you believe in quantum physics or not, just like breathing air.  It leaves us changed forever. OUR personalities are ALWAYS changing depending on who we choose to be around. We are never the same person from moment to moment!

If we were to except our love relationships as larger deposits of energy then a soul that we meet at the gas station or even our next door neighbor we would experience a deeper sense of gratitude for each soul that we chose to open our hearts too. It is these chosen few or many that emboss a new sense of self onto our hearts and souls. Impressions that may last life times.

As we look at the star from my midnight meditation, we see that even stars share energy (light) with one another. No matter how distant apart they are or how solo they may seem. Depending on where we are when we look up into the heavens, their dance speaks to us in different ways, ALWAYS. This universe is alive and conscious.  Our consciousness creates the material world making the universe self-aware. If we open up, as many ancient civilizations did to the Omens that is spirit speaking then we can adjust our consciousness, expand it and learn to be in love with what is instead of trying to dictate what we want. Through embracing our souls, our hearts and the divine flow of life we nurture ourselves, discover a more gentle understanding and can see that in everything there is pain and pleasure.  When we elevate to a point that we are loving the beauty of death and the pain of birth then we can simply breathe and be present in the moment.  This does not mean that we will not experience pain, grief, upset. It does not mean that we will only have bliss in every moment. It just means that we accept and realize that life is always flowing, ever changing, like a river.

As I stared up at this solo star with a smile on my face, tears were cascading down my cheek, my heart pounding as though I had just run a marathon and my hands feeling the beat of mother earth beneath them I remembered a warm summer day when Bobcat appeared to me.

image_BobcatSitting at a park bench with a young man that I had just recently met and found myself connected to instantly, my heart in that moment beating as though I had run a marathon, a smile on my face and the feel of mother earths pulse beneath my bare feet, I breathed in the energies that dance around the two of us. The moment was perfect. And the universe wanted to speak. There upon her flesh she sent a messenger.  In the distance I saw something walking our direction. It was a cat. I pointed to it because it seemed to be too large to be your average house cat but was shocked it could be much else since we were in a large community park just outside of Dallas. He approached confidently and before getting to close yet close enough for us to see the messengers name; he turned to the side revealing that he was Bobcat. ‘OMG! Is that a bobcat?” I said. “Let’s follow him, see where he takes us, what message he has.” This daring man agreed although I am certain he was convinced in this moment I was crazy. Bobcat walked the trail not far in front of us, occasionally stopping to look over his shoulder to see if we were following.  He slinked his swaying body along the tree lined path with us in step. Guiding us back to the car we had come in. Looking back at this Omen I can see now Bobcat’s message.  Similar to the dancing star.  Bobcats are animals of solitude; they walk between the veils of this world and the mystical. They trust their instincts, are willing to take risks, and are quiet and sensitive to their environments. They are mostly isolated but know that they need at times of life companionship. On this day Bobcat was sharing his message. It was time to allow someone into our hearts. Into our energy, our world.

funvidandegopicsfeb11 024Later that day I was surprised by yet another Omen. My beloved house cat of 10 years whom had disappeared almost a year before had suddenly returned home, safe and well.  Ecstatic I shared this message with the man from the park. It was a birth of a new cycle in life. My heart danced at the opportunity and the bliss I felt. Happy in the moment. My being glowed as though I was pregnant and in a way I was. My heart was opening; my soul was healing, my spirit dancing with the stars.  Yet all cycles have a transition point or what we call a death, an end.  Bobcat’s message is a two part one. It is a message of cycles. The acceptance that when the time of companionship is done blossoming, the petals of the flower will wilt and fall back to the earth.  Solitude will again reinstate itself and like the bobcat even though we may feel overwhelmed and sensitive to our new found world and the death of the cycle we must find the courage to do what soul requests. Discovering the beauty in death is the message and still being able to dance under the same starry night sky and be grateful for each breath, the energies exchanged and the love that was embossed upon our hearts.

The Universe speaks. The final Omen of this tale is my beloved house cat. When the dance was over he too parted ways yet again. Sharing the message” Letting go and loving what is is all we can do”.

In the expansion of love, of feeling pleasure, joy and happiness we expand our whole being. Meaning that our vessel will “feel more” of everything. This can be scary for many of us. As whom wants to feel more pain, grief, suffering, anger, etc.  We want to choose what we feel more of. In some ways we can. We do this through our thinking and paying attention to our consciousness and what we are feeling. Inquiry of our thoughts is important.  Discovering what is true in our thinking and what is false.  For example, “He/she does not love me or they would not do this.” Is that true? Can you be certain that they do not love you because they are not acting a certain way? No you cannot.  90% of our thoughts are not even real. They are assumptions based on our programming. They are our ego causing doubt, fear, and distortion of the truth. If we can learn to separate our thoughts from our feelings (which they are VERY separate, we just bulk them together) then we can  have greater certainty in what we are to do in life and what will make us happy.

At the end of your days when we are breathing in your final moments here on this planet, in this body what will you wish for? Will you be full of regrets? Will you look back at your life, your loved ones, all that you accomplished or did not accomplish and have peace in your soul? Will your soul say I lived this life, I loved deeply in this life, and I risked everything and cherished every breath taking moment? I expanded and pushed my boundaries, saw my divinity and danced openly in moments of bliss and pain. I allowed my heart to be revealed my spirit to speak and I listened to the wisdom of my body, the feelings of my heart and the Omens of the Universe. I have no regrets.

What will your soul song be on your last day?

Healing Marilyn Monroe

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So often women face challenges that men just simply cannot understand. Many of us having grown up with some form of sexual trauma or another, lost love, low self-esteem, a lack of understanding of our own bodies, emotions and ability to stand strong in the great feminine among other things and our sexuality causes us to be scared of intimate relationships. I recently heard that an average of 60% of the population has experienced or will experience some form of sexual abuse. This is a high number!  Sad but caused by the predators fantasies, insecurities and thus egoic attempts to control, take and dominate their victims in some sexual fashion. For those who have suffered rape in some form or another, sexual abuse from someone they loved/trusted or a stranger, they find themselves sexually bullied by another. Often the violator does not realize what they have done, the damage they have caused, the roadblocks in peoples lives that they have installed. They may assume that it was theirs for the taking or owed to them for some reason, even asked for. Often this can even happen in marriages or love relationships as well. These cases are even more so taboo to speak of in our society but are causing darkness in our world.  

For women, weather they are awake spiritually or not, sex is not the same as it for a man. As women, we are the ones who have to open

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ourselves, be vulnerable, be penetrated. Sex takes place inside us. It can bring us to great heights of pleasure yes, but only when done in love, trust and willingness can the women experience a taste of heaven. Sex is VERY spiritual! It is also extremely emotional, and psychological.  Even when a women lays down with her lover or spouse and falls into the trap of “duty sex” it is far beyond skin on skin friction to her. In these instances it is emotionally, physically, spiritually and psychologically damaging to her. She becomes a victim of the event. She becomes a victim to her penetrator, even if she loves and trusts him. She becomes a prisoner within herself.  This sort of sexual trauma, as well as typical rape cases, molestation, physical abuse, mental and emotional abuse and the sheer fact that as a society we shun and hush any open talk about the effects this plays on the female population in a whole has caused women to shut down. To diminish their great light in this world and to trust their male counterparts wholly. The female spirit of the world consciousness is damaged from the over run abuse that the female population has carried for thousands of years if not more. As the consciousness of our plant switches, as we transcend through the cosmic storms of the universe and the astrological alignments and make way into the dawning of a new reality, one on the bright side of dooms day prophecies, we MUST heal our sex.  

In my working mainly with men, over the course of my practice so far; I have learned that the majority are longing for the intimacy lost in their relationships. Connection and touch being at the peak of what they crave. As men become more consciously aware of the damage of the female energies in this world and the role the man has played in it, they also awaken to new feelings within themselves. They can start to connect first internally to the feminine energies that they too house. The healing of the ying/yang in our internal worlds is the starting point for ALL physical, emotional, spiritual and mental healing. Quantum Core Energetix and other forms of energetic bodywork are specially designed to help attune the cellular levels of the body so that it vibrates at a new frequency and the energy centers (Chakras) can spin freely and properly move the life force energy. These types of healing touch practices also clear out the physical storage of traumas. Great emotional releases happen. Acceptance for oneself, the path we have walked and are walking, the people in our lives and forgiveness toward ourselves and others all manifest through such healing works.    

I have been blessed to work with many incredible gentlemen over the course of my practice. The honor they bring is amazing. The open and loving hearts and souls. I feel extremely blessed to be a part of so many divine gentleman’s lives. Hearing about their trials and tribulations, the birth of new events, businesses, relationships and awakenings of purpose are only the tip of the ice berg of connection that I enjoy with so many. Often I find myself feeling not just like a practitioner with these souls but like a friend or comrade. Someone that is there to lend an ear, a new chalk board of ideas, unconditional love and friendship even. I can honestly say that I love all of my clients. Even the ones who have tested my waters of patience. Even the ones that I have had the obligation to fire because they could not withstand the ego and allowed their self-limited consciousness to manifest in negative groping behaviour. I honestly hold no ill will toward anyone, but instead find myself being asked to take seat in a new quest.  

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The quest to heal the Goddess. If men are to ever experience the intimacy that they so long for, the ability to feel like “real men” again and to learn to not take but to receive, then healing of the great feminine must take place. Women need to be confident enough to make eye contact with a man in the grocery store and not feel like he will approach her for a date or make some inappropriate comment. Women must learn again how to dance in the feminine energy and allow men to open doors for them, to give an appropriate compliment and it not be perceived as sexual harassment. Women must learn to trust in themselves and to embrace their sexuality in fullness. To allow the inner goddess, the Marilyn Monroe  and the Mother Theresa of our souls out to shine unconditional love, acceptance, nurturing, sexual confidence, spiritual power and the inner child of joy and happiness on this world.

      It is sad but true, and even a blind man can see it, women in the world are buying into self-victimization of their bodies, their desires, and their souls. They are allowing the deepening of the pain and believing that they can mask it with anti-depressants, alcohol, affairs, commitments to surface level events, gossip, religion, and many OCD cover ups. As a women throws herself into bleaching the baseboards for the third time in the month, and increases her commitment to the PTA of her child’s school, changes her anti-depressant medicine because the last one was not quiet good enough and further blinds herself with the newest reality TV show and a glass of her favorite wine, she is supporting her prison. This is all masking. This is NOT the life of a goddess, it is not the life the Creator wants any of us to live. It is a hopeless attempt to survive instead of transform our pain.      

      Transformation starts with rage. Yes, I said rage. First we have to allow ourselves to feel the anger, the sadness, the barried emotions. We have to allow our inner dragons to storm the village of our fears so that they can fly us to the highest heights of heaven after. As we learn to see and even embrace our shadow lands we to will see the light. For where the greatest darkness is so is the greatest light. We are each a diamond in the rough. The pressure that has been applied to us has happened for a reason. No matter how dark our trouble may seem in the moment it is falling on us, no matter how the memories of the traumatic events bring rise to tears, a speedy heart beat, or stomach ache, even anger, it is all a gift. It is up to each “victim” to see that they are not a victim, they are not a survivor, they are a Goddess in training. Only through our own pain, our own tears and bloodshed can we learn to fully embrace another unconditionally. When we learn to support, unconditionally love and accept ourselves and all our shit with it, can we truly be able to do the same for another at a deep level. It is true you can NEVER understand another until you have walked a mile in their shoes. Life provides us with these opportunities so that we can each step forward into the light of transformation so that we can find our calling, our purpose, our “Work of Love” that will help the transition of our planet into more peaceful times.    

As women, we must realize that we are naturally more in tune to the spiritual aspects of life then men. We each have chosen to come here to help the men in our lives evolve into greater, more loving and conscious souls. It is OUR obligation to Heal Our Sex so that our men can be birthed into the Great Divine and the further Awakening of this planet can happen.  

From my Sexual Healing Soul to Yours, Namaste’

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