Are Your Relationship Idea’s Making You A Prostitute?

Every woman wants a guy to have a rockin’ resume!

I mean all of us want that night in shining armor.
We want him to be tall, dark and handsome.
We want him to be rich.
We want him to be generous and compassionate.
We want him to be romantic and a good listener.
We want him to be world traveled.
We want him to be intelligent.
We want him to love our bodies as they are.
We want him to love our minds and hearts more.
We want him to just get us.
We want him to be passionate and playful.
We want him to be confident.
We want him to act like a grown up and take care of his responsibilities.
We want him to do everything right in the bedroom.
We want him to be a good kisser.
We want him to appreciate everything that we do.
We want him to respect us.
We want him to worship us.
We want him to be everything that we want him to be and just get it without us ever having to tell him what we want.

I mean if he just paid attention and was present,
if he inquired and asked the right question at the right times,
then he would know.

If he listened then all would be right in the relationship.
That is of course as long as he never pushed us to do or be anything that we did not want to do or be….

And he just accepted what he got for all that grandness that he is offering up.

Now we live in a world where sugar babies, paid hook ups and lies are just a way of relating.

We live in this world where if a woman wants something at work that she pretty much can get it for the right price.
And smart, well educated, go getter women EVERY DAY pay these prices with “respectable” bosses and elite men in power to advance themselves.

How can this be?
How can this be a designer relationship that anyone is happy with?
Its merely based in the man getting a place to stick his junk occasionally and release somewhere outside of the palm of his hand or the toilet and in return for this the woman gets taken care of financially or gains promotions, business advances, networking deals, or simply a monthly payment and some gifts and travel.

Either way its what many relationships for both single and married people are like.

I know many very affluent people who have mistresses of this nature. And I know many married women as well as single women who are gaining power and success in business and finances this way.

And its not even looked down on.
Where I live in North Texas just outside of Dallas,
its almost assumed that if you are a woman in her 20’s or 30’s that you have at least one if not two or three sugar daddy’s supporting your lifestyle, schooling and goals.

It is the sin that is not spoken of,
but is expected if you had an open raw unfiltered conversation with almost any man who makes decent earnings and if you sat with any woman who was “dating.”

That’s why such websites such as whats your price, sugar daddy, seeking arrangements and others of this nature are growing at the levels that they are.

So the question comes,
“What is the turn on to this style of relationship?”

Because obviously it may appear empty of true connection, love, friendship and a desire to be long standing. It is simply based on two people using each other to meet their needs.

Or is it?

Just last night this very topic came up on a double date I was on with a good friend. And as we conversed about it, the statement came around that these sort of relationships may perhaps be great examples of people doing what they “should” be doing no matter the relationship.

In such relationships, people:

* ask for their needs to be met
* set boundaries and non-negotiables
* discuss what the relationship is and what is not
* communicate about what is working and what is not
* keep a certain level of detachment
* lean in and trust the other to meet the proposed agreement
* don’t try and fake who they are or what they are there for

Unlike today’s marriages and committed relationships where both parties typically:

* don’t talk about needs unless they are fighting about them
* don’t understand boundaries and the only non-negotiable that is ever discussed is cheating
* Assume that the other side knows what they want from the relationship and assume they know what their partner wants
* don’t communicate about issues until its too late and therapy is needed, resentment has happened, one or both parties are feeling abandoned, misunderstood
* Think that co-dependency is love
* Have trust issues and use guilt and shame to try and control the other, the relationship and events
* Fake who they are and what they want on the front side of a relationship to get the relationship committed, then end up faking their intimacies with their partner and not willing to be authentic or have their partner be authentic
* Give surface level connection all the while saying they desire depth

Sounds exciting huh?

Yet it’s the truth of relationship in today’s world.

Today’s relationships certainly have their challenges no matter what labels , guidelines they may have set for them.

At the of the day what I want to focus you on is authenticity.
A good relationship is NOT based on that want list that a woman has.

A good relationship is not based on financials and quantity of sex or how adventurous the sex is even.

A good relationship,
a turned on, supportive, loving relationship is based in truth on the list that people who entertain “paid” relationships set.

The most important one being COMMUNICATION.

Because communication,
no matter how difficult it may be,
is the foundation to everything else.
The communication however, needs to be REAL.
And it needs to come from a centered place of KNOWING THY SELF first.

This will provide a level of maturity,
understanding and presence that the majority of people never achieve in their relationships.

But when we offer this sort of authentic relating we can then feel into the who we are even more, grow and expand mentally, emotionally and allow our partners the same.
We limit our expectations.
We speak our needs.
We respect boundaries,
and we take responsibility for our happiness.

Here is the ground to create a successful relationship based in unconditional love and respect instead of ego and need.

How does your relationship ideas, goals and ways of relating line up?

Are you exploring authentic relating or something else?

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Message me for deet’s on creating an authentic relationship, no matter its current status TODAY.

Your Criticism Enables My Scarcity Mindset.

 

Your criticism enables my scarcity mindset!

Why can’t you just be happy for me?
Why can’t you just smile and let me live my life?
Why do you have to always try and fix what you deem broken,
when perhaps….

Just perhaps its not broken at all.

I get that your intent is not to slice me to the bone.
I get that you have no concept of the shame, the fear, the lack of worthiness that you trigger each time you aim to fix what you think needs fixing.

But honey beware.

Your words are powerful.
although you do not control me.
Ultimately it is my choice to fall prey to your desire for my brokenness,
be warned that these words you cast upon me and others,
be warned that these judgements,
these criticism’s have power.
And even the strongest in nature,
those of us who rebel from the control,
yes even us can be penetrated after time,
with these words of fear.

As time passes and you search for more weakness in me,
as you look for how you can save me,
teach me,
heal me,
support me,
your words become like Chinese water torture,
like nails on a chalk board.
They make me cringe,
they set me on defense.
They steal away my ability to feel you.

And now I stand here guarded.
Ready to take my punishment.
Now before I even start to share,
before I take any step forward or to the side,
I already hear your words of criticism,
and I know…
I know that no matter what I do,
no matter how turned on I am to my life,
no matter how much in flow and a state of passion I might be,
no matter the creative genius that wants to stem from my core.

I know.
I know that in your eye’s I am broken.
I know that in your mind I need to learn.
I know that you see me as this child,
this silly naive thing that needs your saving,
needs your fixing.
And so why bother?
Why even try and speak my truth?
Why try and do anything,
because I already know.

And so I settle into the average and ordinary.
I settle into the surface level relating.
Depth and being seen is too painful.

I feel stupid.
I feel dumb.
I feel ugly.
I feel unlovable.
I feel like no matter what,
it does not matter,
because I am wrong.

Or I will get it wrong.
Or it will be messed up by my touch,
by my words,
it’s just me.
And I should just not be.

Your criticism enables my scarcity mindset!
You enable me to not step up and be all that I can be.
You enable me to fear my power.
You enable me to fear my creative soul.
You enable me to keep hating myself.
You enable me to see all my lack of worth.
You enable me….

AND FOR WHAT?

Do you really believe that your words of judgement will entice me into becoming more?
Do your really believe that you know my calling,
my purpose,
my heart better than I or God?
Do you think that your need to fix me is inspiring?

Because it is not!
And lucky for me…
I will never listen.
And when I feel these chisels from you to cut me down,
to make me fear,
to make me become logical.

Yes lucky for me,
I am a F-CK YOU!

and I will move away.
I will step back.
I will turn around.
I will not listen.

Instead I will laugh.
Because you,
you are the lost one.
You are the broken one.
You are the one that needs me.

But honey,
that you will not ever have.
Because the tribe I run too,
is a tribe that is wild.
A tribe that is free.
A tribe that is supportive through love.
Supportive through the building up.
Through the appreciation.
Yes that is my tribe.

And so I encourage you to stop this ridiculous need of cutting down, and finding fault, of looking for what is broken or wrong.
I encourage you to instead step into your power.

I encourage you to look for what makes you happy with me.
What makes you happy with life.
What makes you happy with you.

Because all this criticism although seeming pointed at me,
it is not I that you actually have issue with,
it is not I that frustrates you so,
it is not I who needs your saving…

But it is YOU.

So look in that mirror my dear.
Look closely in your eye,
and tell yourself something positive.

Then continue to speak those words.
Because what you focus on grows.

I love you.
You are worthy.

And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Message me for deet’s on my Autumn 1:1 Coaching Subscriptions to embrace your poser and be all you can be.

Forced Consent is Not Authentic Consent.

You can’t touch this….
Touch.
Hands on attention.
Something that is so needed,
so human, so intimate and connective.
 
Yes touch is something beautiful.
Unless it is not wanted.
Unless it is given when it is not appropriate.
Unless it is out of one’s boundaries or it is forced upon someone.
 
And it is this final statement that I want to address today.
As a woman who has experienced her fair share of trauma,
and speak about the healing process,
the psychological issue around and how to best prevent further trauma in life,
It has come to my attention over the last week the power of touch, yet again.
 
The same touch that can show love can also trigger fear.
Our hands and fingers can open in a hug and give one with deep care and no desire to harm another,
these same hands and fingers can penetrate another person with fear and trigger old wounds as well as cause new ones with the same action of a hug.
 
How can that be?
How is it possible?
Does that mean that we should just not touch anyone?
Yet here we are a touch deprived society.
Hungry for touch and the fact that we are so deprived has us uncertain as to what is healthy and what is not,
because we are deprived and not taught proper respect and boundaries,
permissions and body language signs,
because we want what we want and tend to overlook another person’s feelings or obvious gestures of not wanting to be touched,
we push ourselves onto others with great disregard to what we may actually be triggering in them or re-anchoring from a past wound.
 
Touch can be healing,
but it can also be harming.
 
Outside of the harmful touch of physical abuse which is what you may think when you read the words of touch can be harmful,
it can still be harmful with a loving, caring, even playful touch.
 
I will bring to the attention what our society is being taught.
 
Recently in America we have dealt with the conversation of touch with our very president being captured stating:
 
“Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.”
 
This is an extreme statement about touch.
About taking what you want with disregard to another human being. And I see the fall out of this statement in many relationship scenarios from parenting to lovers,
from friends to colleagues.
 
Every time we ask our child for a hug or a kiss and they say “no” and we respond with,
“Come on, mommy/daddy need’s a hug.”
” Give me hug and then you can go.”
“I will give you this if you give me a hug or a kiss.”
 
We are disrespecting our child’s space and answer.
We are teaching our child that it is okay to ignore a “no” and to even try and bribe, guilt or push further for what you want with total disrespect to another’s desire, boundary or need.
 
This then translates to adults who believe that it is okay to push for what they want with a spouse or partner.
 
It translates to adults who do not respect the space, time or feelings of another in any relationship situation.
 
It translates to adults who do not take responsibility for their actions, as they feel that they are doing what they are doing out of a “good” place or a “just or deserving” place, as though they have the right when in fact they do not,
and that no matter how good or right our actions may be,
if they are harming toward another’s boundaries or desires then we need to pause and respect what we are being told or what we are witnessing in energy,
body language coming from another person.
 
Touch.
It is so very powerful.
And our boundaries around it can ebb and flow within any relationship and moment by moment in our lives.
A touch that felt good yesterday may very well close us down to connection the next.
 
And the thing to remember about touch is that it extends past the physical.
 
Touch is about how we touch another person.
 
We can touch another person with our physical body,
we can touch them with our words,
we can touch them with the look from our eye’s,
the expression on our face.
We touch other’s all the time.
How you touch them is the question that I encourage you to review in your life today?
 
Are you honoring and respectful?
Do you listen to their body language as well as their words?
Can you hear their truth and accept it just as that,
without needing approval from them or needing a reason as to why they think, feel or need what they need?
 
Or are you operating from a place of self-centeredness?
A place of need and hunger?
 
When you are in relationship with anyone,
no matter the intimacy level or actual label on the relationship,
do you give…
do you touch…
do you speak…
do you act…
out of the place of unconditional respect and love or are you wanting something and wanting to feel a certain way,
with the belief that if this other person “supports” (gives) you what you are wanting by allowing you to act, speak, give, touch, etc… the way that you deem good in that moment,
that this is what “should” happen and it is “okay” because that is just the way that you want it to be?
 
We are all guilty of ignoring another and insisting that they feel or think a way that we want them too instead of how they may actually be feeling or thinking.
 
We are all guilty of wanting something from another at times.
We are all guilty of missing ques in body language or tones, even not hearing words fully and crossing over boundaries.
We are all guilty of being self-centered.
 
No one wants to feel rejected.
No one wants to feel like they have hurt someone that they care for.
 
The reality is that when in relationship,
we will hurt those we care for.
We will not always be present with them.
And we will have hidden expectations if nothing else that we are not aware of that may cause issues along the path.
 
But if we want to act out of love,
if we want to be emotionally mature,
and trustworthy,
if we want to expand and deepen a relationship,
then each of us MUST take responsibility for how we choose to touch those around us.
 
With our words.
With our physical bodies.
With our looks.
With our expectations.
And assumptions.
 
And we must learn to respect the “No” without question of why.
 
Because no one owes you an explanation of why they are feeling any way,
just like you do not owe anyone an explanation as to why you think or feel any particular way either.
 
But to push your will on another,
is a breaking of truth,
it is dishonoring to the relationship and to both parties in relationship,
and it shows the desperation of one’s need and lack of actual care for another.
Making it detrimental to the relationship.
 
Pay attention to what you are seeing,
to what you feel coming from another person,
not not what you want to feel or see.
 
Realize that your truth about any particular thing may not be the same as another’s and if you are interacting with another person you NEED their consent to involve them.
 
How are you toughing those in your life today?
 
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Let’s get you to your desired F-ck YES! NOW.
Applications for 1:1 available for a limited time. Message me for application.

Why We Want to Please Others So Badly and How It Eff’s Us Up.

People pleasing makes you wishy washy and unattractive.

People pleasing is NOT an endearing characteristic.
People pleasing is disrespectful to everyone in the relationship.
People pleasing is a manipulative act of insecurity and lack of self-worth and love.
It will only get you an illusion of what you desire.
Never will you truly gain what you want from any relationship by attempting to bend over backward and have pores boundaries just to avoid confrontation or rejection.

When we come into a relationship with the concept that we MUST do this or that in order to be worthy of …(fill in the blank) then we do a great disservice not only to ourselves but to the integrity of the relationship and the other person that we are acting in relationship with.

People pleasing is for those who believe that they MUST provide a result or response according to another’s desires at the cost of their very truth. It is a form of performance anxiety that those who get trapped in this concept that we are here to serve others and are in some fashion responsible for others feelings, actions or thoughts.

As one matures in relationship perspective and does the inner mindset work and healing work of releasing attachment to old traumas and belief structures one can come to terms with personal responsibility and being proactive for one’s own needs, thoughts, feelings and actions. As this comes about you can see that no other is ever responsible for making us do anything nor is it their assuring of an outcome for our lives or needs.

From this clearing perspective one can see with greater ease that we too are not at fault for another’s ideas that they may turn over to us.

When we demand of someone to be in alignment to what we want of them without any thought or inquiry as to their interest of being in alignment we do two things:

1) we attempt to take control or power of another’s feelings, responses, desires, etc.
2) we give our power away to them by giving them responsibility over our needs being met thus we relinquish our power in creating the happiness, connection or anything focused on as the ultimate goal.

Simply put by demanding that another please us we turn over our happiness to their control and in turn by being a people pleaser we turn over our power to our happiness by wagering our authentic answers and feelings to make another happy in hopes to gain happiness for ourselves.

It is a devaluing circle of not wanting to own responsibility of our own happiness.

Happiness, much like anything else that we strive for in life (i.e. freedom, intimacy, peace, love, etc) must come from within. No outside influence will ever guarantee any of these things to maintain in our life. It is up to each of us INDIVIDUALLY to guarantee them through our dedication of turning inward and finding them at our core, then revealing them to our lives through our energetic response to life.

When we choose to lower our vibration through the scarcity thinking that we are to earn these things instead of unveiling them from within…

(Because they are always with us and can never be taken from us)

we choose to use ourselves,
our time,
our finances,
our resources of any kind,
our sex,
our love,
our acts of service,
etc.

as commerce to BUY that which we are currently not feeling worthy of.

We trade ourselves,
our very truth,
for a false or temporary version of that which we desire to have.

By doing this we disrespect and attempt to manipulate the relationship and the beauty of what could potentially come through it.

You are worthy of happiness.
You are worthy of love.
You are worthy of freedom.
You are worthy of peace.
You are worthy of abundance.

You were born this way and these things are not goals to be earned. they are gifts given to us by the creator and are accessible at any moment on our life path when we so choose them over our fear and ego based concepts that have been instilled in us to prevent us from fully embrace our powerful nature as co-creators of this world and our lives.

You always have a choice,
and no one can ever take these gifts away from you.
It is your choice to live in bondage and fear which will lead you on a path of suffering and disconnection,
or you can choose to open up to love.
Open up to faith.
Open up to the freedom of your true self.

All these desires are FEELINGS that one wants to obtain,
but can not hold onto if the power of their creation is handed over to anyone but SELF.

KNOW your worth.
ALLOW yourself to receive your blessings,
through your Focus and commitment to living in INTEGRITY of SOUL.

And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Hurry and grab this Launch Special of a $500 savings now.

I know that you may be scared.
I have been in those shoes before all too many time.
But that fear is not going to stop you.
You are powerful.
Introducing 12- weeks of “Unstoppable Power – It’s My Time To Fly!”
This is a once in a life time to work with me 1:1 from anywhere in the world.
If you are a man or a woman who is looking for a powerful game-changing opportunity to claim the life that you desire in FAITH and learn how you can access your dreams quickly by releasing old programs based in fear and shame around your worthiness, joy and abundance then this 12-weeks is for you.
Stop letting everything be an excuse!
You deserve better than those reasons you have to stay trapped in your comfort bubble of suffering.
Let’s level up your life over summer.
Message me for deet’s or leave a comment here.
Learn More

Weak Boundaries? No Problem. Do These 2 Things to Overcome Your Shiz NOW!

You have a lack of boundaries with yourself beautiful.

Say what?

Your boundaries for self SUCK.
You cannot even deny it.
You may be under the impression that you got all your shiz together,
that boundaries are goofy or not really needed,
I mean you hear people say all the time with pride that they have none,
or perhaps you have what you consider very hard boundaries,
but baby I got news for you.
Porous or solid,
your self- boundaries suck.

And here is my observation and reasoning for you.

You refuse to commit.
You refuse to stay consistent.
You refuse to do the DAMN THING that you KNOW you must do for yourself.
You keep turning your back on YOU.
And then you have the gumption to b*itch about it and proclaim,

I took that class…
I got that help…
I tried that…
I had patience…
I pushed myself…
I focused on that…
I did that meditation, journaling, “work”….

I did it,
BUT….
“IT” did not help me.

“IT” did not give me the results that I wanted or expected it too.

Okay beautiful,
you are full of crap right now.
This is all bullsh*t!

“IT” whatever “IT” is or was has NOTHING to do with you having success.

The thing that determines your success is YOU.
Doing this THING that you “tried” is not ever going to get you the results that you want.

“IT” is support, education, a new viewpoint, system, guidance to help you achieve what you want IF….

YOU do the damn THING that you need to do.

And that THING is COMMIT.
That thing is staying consistent.

COMMITMENT + CONSISTENCY
to YOU beautiful.

And what does that look like? 🤔

➡️It looks like you getting up in the morning and stretching,
breathing into your beautiful body and feeling the gratitude that your body supported your life all night without any conscious effort from you instead of dreading the day ahead.

➡️It looks like you NOT choosing to look at the money you do not have in your bank account before you drink your first morning coffee or shower.

➡️It looks like you applying your focus to positive affirmations instead of looking at the bank account.

➡️It looks like you expanding your knowledge around things that turn you on instead of spending your time with things that drain you.

➡️It looks like you believing that you are worthy of love, success, a beautiful body, abundance and safety instead of focusing your fear on the opposite.

➡️It looks like you committing to YOU and not being the people pleaser that you feel you need to be in order to feel connection, love and gain success in any subject of your life.

➡️ It looks like you not making excuses about your money, your emotions, your responsibilities, your health, your support, your time, your vibration or the economy and JUST DOING THE DAMN THING!

➡️It looks like you being strong in who you are and what you want instead making allowances for being weak and stupid and letting your fears and worries dictate you results.

That is what it looks like beautiful.

But no one,
no program,
no coach, educator, marketing system or therapist,
no healer or medication,
no system,
no nothing…

But your COMMITMENT + CONSISTENCY can get you this.

So back to those boundaries that you seem to be having issues with and you want to ignore so fiercely.

Back to making some things nonnegotiable to your life and how you choose to show up and claim it.

Back to getting real and raw,
that is the hard thing.
That is the challenge.
To recognize and accept that YOU.
you are the one holding the map.
It’s your decision what way to go each step of your path.
And even when you feel like you have some great reason as to why you are going a direction that you know is out of alignment,
that ONLY YOU are making that decision.
And it is NEVER forced on you.
You CHOOSE how you react to any given experience or moment in your timeline.
You CHOOSE what you apply your attention and energy too.
You CHOOSE what you commit too.
But always remember that…

YOU ARE COMMITTING TO SOMETHING.

Where does your commitment lie?

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Hurry and grab this Launch Special of a $500 savings now.

I know that you may be scared.
I have been in those shoes before all too many time.
But that fear is not going to stop you.
You are powerful.
Introducing 12- weeks of “Unstoppable Power – It’s My Time To Fly!”
This is a once in a life time to work with me 1:1 from anywhere in the world.
If you are a man or a woman who is looking for a powerful game-changing opportunity to claim the life that you desire in FAITH and learn how you can access your dreams quickly by releasing old programs based in fear and shame around your worthiness, joy and abundance then this 12-weeks is for you.
Stop letting everything be an excuse!
You deserve better than those reasons you have to stay trapped in your comfort bubble of suffering.
Let’s level up your life over summer.
Message me for deet’s or leave a comment here.
Learn More

Never Accept Shame, Belittlement or Sh*t – Own Your Value.

OMFG! Come on people. When are we going to actually act like adults? And stop the hating, the attacking and the immature hostility from the other side of a screen?
 
Today I find myself simply shaking my head at the goofiness of some lost souls out there who find it somehow beneficial or I am assuming fun or powerful to verbally attack others through email.
 
Yesterday a friend and fellow coach was sharing with me about a man who had approached me last year for this “AMAZING Opportunity”
 
( I say this while shaking my head and laughing 😂)
who now was reaching out to her for the same AMAZING Opportunity and he still seven or eight months later has not found a co-presenter for the project he was creating.
 
Well, that is not the issue.
The issue is his approach.
He started off by knocking her down and belittling her work and style. The same as he did to me last year. Attempting to make himself high and mighty and so awesome that one such as myself or my friend the other day should be in deep gratitude and honor of him even messaging. 🤔
 
OKAY.
 
Well, then today I open my email and if you recall a post I made last month about THIS AIN’T THE EMOJI MOVIE – and people demanding respect and to be taken seriously or asking for another person to prove who they are all the while while they are sporting an effing cartoon pic for their profile image,
 
yeah that little rant.
 
Well my emoji dude is back at the emailing again!
 
🔥🔥🔥Ain’t that hot NEWS!😂🔥🔥🔥
 
So this time Mr. Wizard Image decides that he wants more details on one of my recent home study courses.
 
He inquires asking for details that are clearly stated on the write up of the workshop.
 
I message back with a thank you for your inquiry and here is a copy/paste of what you are asking for.
 
And his response goes straight to belittling my work.
My value.
My coaching.
My authenticity.
My education.
And proclaiming that he does not want any of my marketing nonsense….
 
Here is the thing people….
 
We are ALL MARKETERS of something.
We market ourselves to our mates.
We market ourselves to banks to gain a loan for a house or car.
We market ourselves to our employers.
 
Anyone who believes that they are not in marketing,
that sales is nonsense is living in some illusion.
And to believe that making rude, low ball comments about someones art ( because us marketers, coaches, educators, healers, practitioners are all F-cking Artists),
is going to get them something????
 
Of which I really don’t fathom what these gents are trying to achieve here other than to look like as*sholes.
 
And perhaps the only point of my little tail today is that a*sholes message me sometimes and no matter how loud or rude they might be,
 
I REFUSE TO F-CKING UNDER VALUE MYSELF.
 
Knowing your value and standing firm to it,
whether it is financial based,
emotional based,
energetic based,
or something else,
shows that one loves self enough to honor themselves and
NOT SETTLE.
 
It also reveals that one who does not settle,
has learned to not take head to outside opinions, judgments and opinions when they feel they are living from SOUL.
 
No one else can ever know what is right or correct for you.
Anyone who shares a perspective with you is sharing from their vantage point,
their life experience,
and their base need of your reaction.
 
Listen to your SOUL.
Never Settle.
And Never let small minded,
immature as*sholes knock you off your path or shame you.
 
YOU ARE WORTHY AF!
 
Just like myself.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living “Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
– KW

You Are Worthy Of Authentic Love.

 
It’s high time beautiful that you STOP the silliness of always saying yes when you mean no.
 
Yeah I see you over there.
faking that smile.
Faking that reaction.
Feeling like you have too,
when in truth you just simply are not all that in to that shiz.
 
But you still say yes.
You say yes because its programmed into you to say yes.
You say yes because you don’t want to rock the boat,
you do not want to cause a confrontation,
you most certainly don’t want to feel separation.
 
What does it matter any way?
Your opinion, your needs or desires.
You are a nice person.
You are not greedy.
You are not selfish.
You put other’s first.
Just the way you were taught.
 
I get it.
 
The issue is that you are dried up.
You are worn out.
You just keep saying yes and thinking that your yes will fill you up because giving is so good.
 
Except you forgot to give to the most important person beautiful.
 
You forgot to take care of the most valuable player in your life.
 
YOU.
 
And so you now have so little of you left to give.
You are fatigued,
lost and off centered.
You don’t have the stamina or energy to keep going and you most likely are questioning if you can.
 
But you just said another inauthentic yes to someone,
and so you must.
You must keep your head up and smile.
 
You are afraid that if you state your truth.
If you say NO –
that this relationship you are giving yourself away for will be no more.
You are afraid you will be judged, criticized, hurt someones feelings, or worse yet be abandoned by them.
 
If you really stop and feel into this,
you should see the silliness of this idea.
If this relationship is meant to be,
if it is a friendship,
a love based relationship,
a relationship that is based on truth and trust…
then why would it go away just because you are a no to something?
 
Now, if the relationship is based simply on you doing what the other wants and needs at all cost,
and you not getting your needs met,
or there is zero allowance for your authenticity,
then perhaps it is high time that you reconsider the value of this relationship in your life.
 
Perhaps you should look at this relationship and question what exactly you are making yourself available for and WHY?
 
Does this relationship make you happy?
Does it fulfill you?
Do you feel like this relationship is equally yoked?
 
Or are you just bending over backward out of fear of being alone.
Out of fear of loss.
Fear that there is nothing better than this,
that you are not deserving of it?
 
Well, I want you to realize that YOU ARE WORTHY of love.
 
And any relationship that says that it is love but demands you to NOT be authentic to get this love, is NOT LOVE.
 
It’s a LIE.
 
You deserve much better than this.
And deep in your heart you know it is true.
It is what pulls at you when you find yourself holding yourself and trying to comfort yourself when you actually need the arms of your relationship.
 
It is that sick feeling that comes up in your stomach when you say yes to something but you know that it is not really for you, but you do it anyway.
 
It is that nervousness or that physical constriction that manifests itself when you agree and push yourself to be/do something that you are not.
 
YES YOU KNOW.
 
And it is truly high time that you STOP the silliness of saying yes when you are actually a no.
 
In saying your authentic truth you will gain respect,
you will feel more confidence,
you will be embraced more by life and others,
you will be trustworthy.
And guess what those people that DO LOVE YOU,
will still be there.
The one’s who were only there for your hand outs, your service and how you made them feel without care of you,
well they will no longer be there.
 
Or they will see you differently and love you for your truth.
 
Either way,
you are worthy of true love.
But in order for you to have it,
you have to start being true to yourself.
And love yourself enough to speak your heart.
 
Say YES.
Say YES to YOU.
Not to everyone else.
 
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
It’s time that you start to say YES to the most important person in the room beautiful. It’s time that you accept your worth, and step onto this path that your SOUL is calling you too.
I know how hard the steps may appear.
I know that you are fearful, that you doubt if you have what it takes to make this shiz happen for you or not.
But I promise you that YOU can do it.
You can have it.The first step though is to recognize that you must let go and have faith in your process of getting there.
Listen to your SOUL and follow it’s lead.
Imagine having a coach who has been on a similar path guide you, help you discover the deeper meanings of what soul is wanting you to know.
What would it feel like to have that sort of support and guidance?
You can have this.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Private mentoring and coaching today.

I am looking for a girlfriend experience….

I am looking for a girlfriend experience…

I can’t help it, men wake up with cum on the brain…

It’s your fault, you are so hot, I just cannot control myself…

You teach tantra, so that means that you will have sex with me…

I want to sex you…

So what do you think? (insert below average unsolicited dick pic here)

And so many other statements that we coaches, educators, tantra teachers and WOMEN GET DAILY.

And I have left some of the more raunchy ones off of this list.

If I shared what gets stated and shown to me frequently via Facebook messenger and other lines of social media and randomly to my email or phone I would get kicked off of Facebook. Funny little note here, if I report someone on Facebook for sexual harassment or aggressive statements or out of standard pictures I get to keep the pictures and messages, it is left up to me to dispose of them. But if I say one word that someone scrolling through see’s and is upset about then my posting is trashed and I am booted for three days…FAIR????🤔

My rant here is because I want to bring to light the ill ideas that so many have of women in general.

How so many (sorry men, but it is effing true) men think it okay, normal, ACCEPTABLE and even appreciated to message and make the comments that they do to random women they do not know or even ones that they do know.

The above leading statement, “I am looking for a girlfriend experience.” was recently messaged to me here on Facebook from an old client of mine who after yesterdays communications has been blocked and is on the cusp of having a restraining order served if he does not simmer his ass down.

YES! He took it that far.

It is hard to rattle me.
It is difficult to get to me with the distasteful pictures and comments.
I typically just delete after a good laugh. 🤣🤣🤣
With no message back.
Every now then when I am hormonal or just in a bitchy mood and had enough of the shenanigans that these pervs who seem to be dressed up as adult men send out,
on these days,
these days I get a little sarcastic.
And fire back something. 📣🤣🤦‍♀️
I consider it tossing my ego some breadcrumbs.
As I do so much work to keep light on my ego and stay aware of where it is and how it is trying to control me.

But then this shiz 💩happens.
An old client solicits me for sex.
Assuming it is okay.
Assuming that I would I guess be excited at his proud offer.
And then to his dismay, I say – NO! 😱

Sorry sir, I don’t do that.
I don’t sleep with my clients.
I don’t do sexual things with my clients.
If you want to do a coaching appointment over dinner, yes we can .
If you want and extended coaching session, yes we can do that too.
You want me to listen and give you connection that way, yes we can do that too.
You want a hug. – yes I will give you a hug if you need it.

Oh wait, you want me to come to your hotel room and stay the effing night????? ( scratching my head as I wonder where he got this idea from🤔)

Ummmmm…. let me see if that is in my pay grade? or desire grade?

Ohhhhhhhhh…..

F-CK NO!!!!!!!!!

Yeah.
And yet so many men out there think that we women will be ecstatic to just have a guy message and say, ” I wanna f-ck you.” or ” I love you. So lets have sex. Let me touch you here and there. Do this and that to you. I can show you want a real man is like.”

And we women are to go weak at the knees I guess.
And get wet, and be like “Oh my God, my soulmate has arrived! YES. YES. YES. Please, take me. Let me bend over for this two pump chump that I have been dreaming of.”

LOL.
Right?

Oh I know what will make it better.
This chick she is hot and she teaches on sex.
I will offer to pay her for the two pumps.
That will be appealing.
That will seal the deal.

SERIOUSLY GUYS?

And these same men will proclaim themselves Conscious Men.
Spiritual Men.
Emotionally Mature Men.
Wise Men.
Understanding Women Men.

Of which none really apply.

I am a woman who loves men.
I love supporting men.
I love working with men.
I love seeing men become better men.
Having the love, the relationships, the sex and abundance that they want.

But with someone that is not me.
Unless you are my boyfriend. My lover.
Which FYI is NOT an easy place to get.

Women can be easy for sure.
Some more than others.
And this has a lot to do with a lot of things.
But most women who love themselves, respect themselves and KNOW WHAT THEY WANT.

Will not bed easy.
Or with just anyone.
And for certain not with these FOOLS!

Sorry wantabe gents, I only provide a girlfriend experience to my boyfriend.
And he is my boyfriend because he is at least wise enough to not make these stupid assumptions.

SO this rant, is for all you ladies out there.
Single or taken.
No matter your relationship status,
no matter your body type,
no matter your background,
religion,
career,
education level,
or ethnic background.

I know we all get this SHIZ consistently and it sucks.
So the next time a dude sends you a unsolicited dick pic and says what do you think baby?
Simply say, ” I think you should not be sending me child pornography and I am reporting this.”

Guys, you can call me whatever name you want right now, and if you are calling me names and taking offense then you might be one of these dudes I am speaking of.

In Jeff Foxworthy terms, “Here’s Your Sign!”

This may be a controversial post…
This may have some anger and frustration attached,
and I am NOT claiming that all men are this way ( thank goodness you are not or we women would be very upset and lonely) What I am saying is that –
💩💩💩THIS SHIZ IS NOT OKAY!!!💩💩💩

Guy’s you have got to realize that if all you think you have to offer is that little picture and some fowl words, some begging and then some anger when you get NOTHING but crickets or go the eff away….

That YOU have got some inner work to do.
You have got to learn some things about women and life.
We don’t owe you anything, certainly not our sex.
Maybe a blocking on social media… but our thanks and appreciation for this crap is not owed.

You want to have a chance with a women,
appeal to her mind and heart.
Women DO NOT operate like men.
Your pictures will not captivate us and make us want you.
And we typically don’t let sex rule our lives.
Or our actions.
And if you really want a woman,
then you need to F-CKING EARN HER!

Become a man.
Start there.
We are not babysitters.
We are not wanting the immaturity,
the disrespect

Your dick….
Your sexual comments are NOT A TURN ON.

Got it?
I sure as eff hope so.

But sadly the men who need to read this,
WILL NOT.

And to the rest of you men out there,
who this does not apply too.

THANK YOU!!!!🙌

Keep doing you!
The world needs more GOOD MEN.

Okay rant over.

As Always,
Stop Existing ( And settling for so little) & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Want to learn what women really want?
Stop allowing average or worse into your love life.
Explore this global workshop for men to help you become a superior man in bed and outside of it. Learn about women.
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Not All Gifts Are Gifts, You See.

I got this for you.
I got you this thing.
I got you this thing that I had to get you.
I am sure you will love it.
I know you will.
I got this for you.
It’s my favorite,
and is your’s now too.

Oh you said that you like that.
And so I it is true.
That now all you want,
is this thing.
Over and over,
I will never venture out.
I am not looking at what you say,
or do,
all I can focus on is making sure that you have this thing till you want it no more.

I love you.
I like you.
I adore you.
I cannot get enough of you.
And so it must be so,
that you too,
feel this thing I am feeling,
and want it as much.

I desire this to happen,
I crave it so much,
My mind wants to devour you,
as my body wants to taste and feel.
I cannot hear your words of denial,
I cannot allow myself to pay heed,
no you,
you must want this too.

It is a gift that I give you.
And even though you say no,
I know that you want this.
Because it is true.

Your words are like nails on a chalk board,
why do you argue with me?
Your silence is deafening,
why don’t you give thanks for all that I do?

It must mean more to you.
I must be with you.
I know that you feel something,
you say it is nothing,
you say it cannot be so.
But,
I love you.
I adore you.
I want more of you.
So it is this way.

My desire has me blinded.
My hunger has me deaf.
My heart pains at your denial,
so I will show you,
yes I will.

I know that you will love it.
I know it will be so.
Just give me this moment.
To absorb all you are.
Stop making such a big deal of it.
Why are you hiding over there?
I know that you will love it.
So let me show you my dear.

You make me feel so alive.
You make me smile with your presence.
You make me feel superhuman,
so accept this gift I am giving.
Accept this “love” I am offering.
Stop denying it.
You know you want it.
You know you love it.
You like it.
You want it.
You do.
—————————————————————————

A tale I hardly speak of is the tale of being a rape survivor,
however I wish to express this today as when I walk through this world, I see so many rapes in so many different fashions.

The above is a share that was activated by a trigger from someone in my life recently.

Although there was no harm done,
although I am certain that there was no intent of such,
not even a trigger.
I find it my mission, to speak out loud and have a voice for all those who cannot.

So bare with me here,
as what I am saying may possibly cause you ill feelings,
for your guilt as much as any other human for the rape offenses that we all have made and played down without notice to the messages of ego shared.

No matter what it is.
No matter the gift.
Realize this…
Not all gifts are gifts you see,
for a gift can only truly be received in love when the receiver desires the gift,
wants for it some way,
or truly is something that speaks their name.
But, many a gift has nothing to do with the receiver,
and everything to do about the giver,
who longs to be seen.
To be accepted.
To be loved.
At all cost they will go.
Not noticing the one that they love.
They place their hunger before the heart of another.

No matter the event,
no matter the intimacy shared.
If it is not two sided in wanting,
then it is nothing more than a taking.
You think it is romantic,
you think is sweet,
you think is no big deal,
but when we steal an intimacy with another,
we ignore all that they are.
We crave more for our desire.
We fear more about our pain,
our rejection of not getting,
of not having or experiencing,
what we want is all that matters,
and so we paint a picture of what will be and ignore all the strokes of anything different.

A kiss,
a hug,
a tender touch you see.
All can be innocent and precious,
but when not wanted they are a trespass.
Just as the gift that one might give that is not desired,
can be nothing more than a nuisance.
A problem you see.
We trespass others in so many ways.
From touches to things.

Be aware is all that is stated here.
A lesson for me and you.
We all are guilty of taking.

Ask yourself this,
“This action, this thing, these words that I share: are they from my desire to have what I want or give what is wanted?”

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

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Level up your relationships.
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((Don’t Dry F-ck Your Woman’s Emotions – Rare Is The Man Who Understands This))

Dry F-cking My Emotion’s.
This is the statement of today that resonates it’s eerie truth about my heart and soul. And if it lingers and speaks to me,
I am sure that it will call to many others as well.
 
((The Depths Of The Goddess Can Only Be Revealed In Trust – Rare Is The Man Who Understands This))
 
We open ourselves up,
full body, mind and soul.
We awaken in beauty,
ready to receive love and be love,
and we long to dance.
We want to be breathless in the arms of our lover.
We want to be carried away.
At a woman’s core,
there is something that know’s that it wants her lover to take her.
Take her not in some dominant fashion of control.
But take her into her depths,
where she can open,
surrender and devour life more fully.
We know that we have this inside of us.
We feel our passion,
our truth,
our goddesshood,
but to fully tap in we must venture out into the seas of the unknown.
We must trust.
We must be willing to expand,
reveal and surrender.
These waters that we must dive into allow our true beauty to be seen and felt,
are filled with emotion,
filled with desire,
filled with our dreams, hopes and fears.
These are the waters of vulnerability.
Where a woman can only venture when she fully trusts at a deep level her lover and herself.
 
However, when she does expand into these pools of deep soul and reveal herself she offers more than just a vision of ecstasy.
She offers her truth.
She offers her core.
She gives her very heart over and trusts that it will be adored and loved as much as she is loving her mate.
Here her lover will experience what he may never have known existed.
Here her lover may see beauty that only he had read about once upon a time in a poem or fable.
Here he will feel himself,
at a level that he has never tasted before.
And he will find it intoxicating.
 
Not knowing exactly how he arrived in this strange land of the divine feminine,
he finds himself in a candlelit setting,
a room where his soul has always wanted to be,
but uncertain as to his worthiness of being there,
he may question it or not even truly see where he is at.
 
As he dances with her,
swimming beside her in these emotions of love and freedom, fire and passion, he fears what he has never tasted before and yet craves for more.
Until he can handle no more.
These waters are strange,
they are dark and light,
he is uncertain at to where the tides will carry him,
and often he chooses to abandon the dance before he is carried too far out from his shore of comfort.
And so,
without even trying he finds himself asking for her depth.
Asking her to reveal more of her beauty.
Asking her to trust him more fully.
To allow him to carry her.
Hold her.
And go deeper.
But doing so as he swims away.
Back further and further he swims.
With each backward stroke he moves himself away.
Wondering why she turns around.
Why her beauty is fading.
Why her truth is harder to hear.
And as they drift apart,
he remembers her not any more as the goddess that opened him to his rapture,
he no longer longs to dive into her waters and explore or caverns of mystery,
he no longer desires to discover what lies beneath and makes her swirl.
No he quickly forgets her mystery.
He looses himself in the comforts of what he had known before.
Where life was just about the shore.
Where he sat and looked out at the waters,
unable to feel them.
 
And the goddess,
left to drown in her own waters,
seeing the dryness of his shoreline,
realizes how he will never truly be able to hold her.
Never truly be able to carry her heart.
For the sand can never hold water forever.
It can only appear too.
and then it will sink.
Sink into its own space.
And rest there.
 
The goddess finds herself.
Because this is the only one who can ever hold her.
Who can carry her.
She knows of the beauty of love,
she craves it all the same.
As deeply as the pain may bury itself in her heart,
she knows of its bliss.
She loves its dance.
She will never stop searching the shorelines.
 
And as these shore’s cut into her waters,
asking for her depth,
wanting her to reveal all the mysteries in freedom to them,
she moves forward,
swallowing them up for moments and sending them back to the land they call home,
leaving them with a faint memory.
A calling from her soul.
And she searches.
Searches for the ONE.
The ONE that can swim in her waters.
The ONE that can watch the sunset and rise on her waters,
bask in her reflection,
never tire of her expanding depth,
never run from her tide pools,
never sink into his fear.
 
Rare is the man who understands this truth of a woman.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Want to learn more about how to reveal your woman’s heart and soul?
 
Want to understand the true nature of a woman?
What opens her up?
Turns her on?
And draws her near?
Well then gentlemen,
Don’t wait for her storms to devour you.