Are You Enjoying Remaining A Broke A*s Bitch?

You will remain a BROKE A*S B*TCH until you actually accept the fact that you can have it.
 
It’s called commitment.
It’s called courage to say yes to self.
It’s called take no more of your own bullsh*t.
It’s called responsibility.
 
But the reality is that most people will never do these things and instead will just continue to sit around and feel like sh*t about themselves.
Will continue to blame outside influences for them not having or succeeding.
Will remain stuck in the land of comfort.
 
Because that is what it adds up too beautiful.
You are too effing comfortable to say yes to your dreams.
 
That suffering that you keep complaining about you have a deeply intimate realtionship with it as well.
 
If you get real with yourself,
which will be very hard to do,
because getting real with self is one of the toughest truth tells one can do.
Its a scary place in there.
You know your mind,
your heart,
your soul.
 
But if you muster up the courage to actually look yourself in the eyes and listen to the voice deep within,
you will discover that you have given up in some fashion.
You are simply not willing to stand out there on the ledge and take the first step in faith.
 
You may proclaim to believe,
you may make big statements of your commitment,
your faith, and your desire.
 
But it is all a BIG EFFING lie you tell self.
 
And somewhere inside of yourself you know that this is true.
 
You know that if you really had the faith,
or at least the courage to JUST COMMIT.
And take that step,
 
that your life would unfold before you like magic.
 
And here you sit,
reading these words,
and feeling a stir in your gut.
Perhaps tears are swelling at the truth I write you this morning,
perhaps you have a desire to name call,
to flip off the screen,
to make your case even about me not understanding,
how could I?
I am not in your shoes.
 
And you are right.
 
I am not in your shoes beautiful.
I have no understanding of your unique human experience.
No one does.
 
But what I can share with you is fact….
 
YOUR SOUL WANTS YOU TO LISTEN.
GOD WANTS YOU TO HAVE FAITH.
 
 
And for any of us who question this,
its like the air that we breathe.
 
We cannot see it,
it is possible that it does not exists even if we only rely on our eye’s,
But whether you believe in the air or not,
it still is.
 
And the TRUTH OF YOUR SOUL,
is the same.
 
The truth of SOUL is the same for all of us.
 
And it has everything to do with FAITH.
 
It has everything to do with LISTENING TO THE CALL.
 
You have been trained through your life to ignore SOUL.
You have been taught to not take heed to your emotions and feeling.
You have been brainwashed into believing that the only thing that matters is your reality.
You have been lied too.
 
Your reality is a manifestation of your past thoughts and feelings.
 
It is NOT evidence of what your future is or can be.
 
YOU….
 
AND ONLY YOU…
 
Are in control of that beautiful.
 
But you have to believe that you are worthy.
You have to want your dreams more than your comfort.
You have to take the first step in FAITH.
And you have to realize that reality is not what you think it is.
 
 
Are you ready to STOP being a broke a*s bitch?
Are you ready to stop the insanity of not having?
Are you ready to claim that life that you hear calling you from deep within?
 
 
You realize that the reason you want for what you want is because it wants you too, right?
 
Take the first step in FAITH beautiful.
 
And Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
 
I know that you may be scared.
I have been in those shoes before all too many time.
But that fear is not going to stop you.
You are powerful.
 
Introducing 12- weeks of “Unstoppable Power – It’s My Time To Fly!”
 
This is a once in a life time to work with me 1:1 from anywhere in the world.
 
If you are a man or a woman who is looking for a powerful game-changing opportunity to claim the life that you desire in FAITH and learn how you can access your dreams quickly by releasing old programs based in fear and shame around your worthiness, joy and abundance then this 12-weeks is for you.
 
Stop letting everything be an excuse!
You deserve better than those reasons you have to stay trapped in your comfort bubble of suffering.
 
Let’s level up your life over summer.
 
Message me for deet’s or leave a comment here.
 
 

Never Accept Shame, Belittlement or Sh*t – Own Your Value.

OMFG! Come on people. When are we going to actually act like adults? And stop the hating, the attacking and the immature hostility from the other side of a screen?
 
Today I find myself simply shaking my head at the goofiness of some lost souls out there who find it somehow beneficial or I am assuming fun or powerful to verbally attack others through email.
 
Yesterday a friend and fellow coach was sharing with me about a man who had approached me last year for this “AMAZING Opportunity”
 
( I say this while shaking my head and laughing 😂)
who now was reaching out to her for the same AMAZING Opportunity and he still seven or eight months later has not found a co-presenter for the project he was creating.
 
Well, that is not the issue.
The issue is his approach.
He started off by knocking her down and belittling her work and style. The same as he did to me last year. Attempting to make himself high and mighty and so awesome that one such as myself or my friend the other day should be in deep gratitude and honor of him even messaging. 🤔
 
OKAY.
 
Well, then today I open my email and if you recall a post I made last month about THIS AIN’T THE EMOJI MOVIE – and people demanding respect and to be taken seriously or asking for another person to prove who they are all the while while they are sporting an effing cartoon pic for their profile image,
 
yeah that little rant.
 
Well my emoji dude is back at the emailing again!
 
🔥🔥🔥Ain’t that hot NEWS!😂🔥🔥🔥
 
So this time Mr. Wizard Image decides that he wants more details on one of my recent home study courses.
 
He inquires asking for details that are clearly stated on the write up of the workshop.
 
I message back with a thank you for your inquiry and here is a copy/paste of what you are asking for.
 
And his response goes straight to belittling my work.
My value.
My coaching.
My authenticity.
My education.
And proclaiming that he does not want any of my marketing nonsense….
 
Here is the thing people….
 
We are ALL MARKETERS of something.
We market ourselves to our mates.
We market ourselves to banks to gain a loan for a house or car.
We market ourselves to our employers.
 
Anyone who believes that they are not in marketing,
that sales is nonsense is living in some illusion.
And to believe that making rude, low ball comments about someones art ( because us marketers, coaches, educators, healers, practitioners are all F-cking Artists),
is going to get them something????
 
Of which I really don’t fathom what these gents are trying to achieve here other than to look like as*sholes.
 
And perhaps the only point of my little tail today is that a*sholes message me sometimes and no matter how loud or rude they might be,
 
I REFUSE TO F-CKING UNDER VALUE MYSELF.
 
Knowing your value and standing firm to it,
whether it is financial based,
emotional based,
energetic based,
or something else,
shows that one loves self enough to honor themselves and
NOT SETTLE.
 
It also reveals that one who does not settle,
has learned to not take head to outside opinions, judgments and opinions when they feel they are living from SOUL.
 
No one else can ever know what is right or correct for you.
Anyone who shares a perspective with you is sharing from their vantage point,
their life experience,
and their base need of your reaction.
 
Listen to your SOUL.
Never Settle.
And Never let small minded,
immature as*sholes knock you off your path or shame you.
 
YOU ARE WORTHY AF!
 
Just like myself.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living “Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
– KW

Price is NEVER the Objection – It’s That You Don’t Value It.

Value.
What each of us values is certainly unique to ourselves.
Unique to our life situation.
Unique to our pocket books too. – LOL
 
Today I was out with my six year old son on a birthday date with him. He has been so excited about this date with mommy and he has been planning what he wanted to go get and do. When it came down to today, he woke up and excitedly told me that he wanted to go to Target and get Ryan’s Family Mystery Egg and then Starbucks or lunch out.
 
And so it was.
 
Here we are in Target searching for this mystery egg,
we finally find it, only two left on this shelf of Ryan’s Family toys and then I look at the price….
 
$39.95!!!!
 
For a big plastic egg.
Filled with like six or seven dollar store toys in it???
 
Oh the excitement.
Oh the wonder of what mystery toys my son was getting in this BIG egg.
 
He was so joyous.
Lite up like a Christmas Tree,
the biggest smile you can imagine on a six year old’s face.
 
He had been dreaming of this moment.
“Thank you, Thank you Mom!”
 
Never would I have ever believed that I would search a store and then actually purchase a BIG plastic Easter egg looking thing full of dollar store toys for such a ridiculous price.
 
Now here is the thing folks,
It has NOTHING to do with the price.
 
It has EVERYTHING to do with the VALUE.
 
I looked at the quality of what we were getting,
I looked at the reality that I could get the same or similar things for one tenth the price if I wanted,
and I just simply find zero to no value in this plastic egg.
 
EXCEPT that is…
my son’s JOY.
 
That I value over everything else.
And that is why I bought it.
It was because he desired it so much,
his expression,
his wonder,
his pleasure in RECEIVING.
 
When it comes down to purchases it never is about the money.
Sure we may toss out the objection,
“How much does this cost?”
 
And we may quickly come back with,
“Oh, I cannot afford that!”
 
But money is NEVER the objection.
That is basic sales understanding and marketing knowledge there.
 
We use the price to avoid things.
 
In truth,
whatever we are using price to say no too is simply not valuable enough to us to figure out how to make happen.
 
Now I know you may say that this is not so,
that your situation is different.
That I just don’t understand.
 
And maybe you are the one in a thousand cases that this may not apply too,
but even then I can assure you that if you REALLY valued whatever this was that you are saying no too but did interest you enough to get you to inquire, to search out, to explore,
 
that YOU WOULD FIND A WAY.
 
I have been down to my last few dollars in the bank and committed to a $13,000 coaching intensive that was only six weeks long.
 
I have been homeless, broke and not knowing how to put food on the table and registered for that next level of growth certification,
 
I have been at the end of the cash flow in my bank with only pennies left after my bills and found away to get my a*s to Hawaii for a 10 day Shamanic Retreat.
 
Did I sacrifice other things to make this happen?
 
Yes.
I had to reevaluate what was most important to my over all life picture.
 
I had to look at the long term rewards, not just the immediate lack of comfort or push that I was feeling.
 
I had to COMMIT to something far bigger than the moment.
 
It was a COMMITMENT to the future.
To long term happiness.
To a game changing experience.
To leveling up my life by having FAITH that in my commitment that everything would fall into place.
 
I had to VALUE what was going to expand me.
Bring me joy.
And I had to VALUE MYSELF.
 
No matter what it is that we purchase,
we have to find value in it.
We have to BELIEVE in what we are gaining from it.
If we do not,
then the price is ALWAYS too much.
 
So the next time you go searching for something,
the next time you go investigating something,
or think you want something and then “change your mind or heart” on it,
don’t step away from your truth and say that it’s about the price.
 
Own your TRUTH.
 
“I don’t VALUE this enough to find a way.”
 
This statement keeps you in your personal power and owning where you are at and what you desire and value clear.
 
If you want to be a great manifestor,
if you want to be the BOSS of your life in any fashion,
if you want to have respect,
and be trustworthy,
THEN OWN WHAT YOU VALUE OR NOT.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
It’s time that you start to say YES to the most important person in the room beautiful. It’s time that you accept your worth, and step onto this path that your SOUL is calling you too.
I know how hard the steps may appear.
I know that you are fearful, that you doubt if you have what it takes to make this shiz happen for you or not.
But I promise you that YOU can do it.
You can have it.The first step though is to recognize that you must let go and have faith in your process of getting there.
Listen to your SOUL and follow it’s lead.
Imagine having a coach who has been on a similar path guide you, help you discover the deeper meanings of what soul is wanting you to know.
What would it feel like to have that sort of support and guidance?
You can have this.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Private mentoring and coaching today.
 

It’s Time to STOP Effing Around and Listen to SOUL.

DCIM100SPORT
If you really wanted it then you would have it wouldn’t you?
 
And it feels like you are wanting it.
It feels like you are operating from your core.
It feels like you should just be living that life that you feel so called to live,
and yet you are not.
 
How can it be so?
Why is it that you just keep tackling problem after problem and not seeming to make way to what you really want for your life?
 
It’s because you are not ready beautiful.
You simply are not yet ready.
 
But you could be ready,
if you really wanted to that is.
 
The only challenge with being ready is YOU.
 
??????????
 
Yeah YOU are your challenge.
 
You have to….
 
1. Make a effing decision to be ready.
2. Stop stopping yourself from being ready with all your petty little reasons and fears.
3. Stop thinking you will have the germination time that you have deemed for yourself.
4. Allow yourself to receive the opportunities that will lead you to what you want.
 
 
This all means that you need to start listening beautiful.
 
But to whom?
 
Well sure as f-ck not to everyone who has not walked in yours shoes.
 
And not those who are less successful than yourself.
And not to your fear.
Or your doubts or any of those negative thoughts that you are thinking.
 
 
No.
 
Don’t listen to that shiz!
 
 
Do Listen to YOUR SOUL.
 
If you have not a clue or maybe just a faint clue as to what I am speaking of when I say SOUL…
 
It’s that quiet little voice.
It’s that nagging at your core.
It’s that desire,
that hunger that will not leave you.
It’s that knowing that points out the opportunities, the synchronicity and coincidences.
It’s the reactions that your body and emotions are trying to make you more aware of.
 
 
This is SOUL.
 
Your SOUL.
 
And if you want to have that THING,
That thing that you have been wanting for so long.
That lifestyle that your heart craves for yourself,
for your children,
your family,
your people.
 
Well that THING, wants you to pay attention to what will lead you to it.
 
Your SOUL.
 
It’s the path of least resistance beautiful.
Its the path that will feed you,
fulfill you, and bring you joy.
 
But you have to WANT IT.
 
And in your wanting of it you will be asked to focus on it.
You be required to do the inner mindset and emotional harmonizing work that you need to do.
You be required to make yourself available for what you are wanting.
And if you are not doing this,
then you will not have it until you do these things.
 
Until you are ready.
No matter how much you b*tch, moan and complain,
no matter how much suffering you choose to go through,
you will not get access to your dreamed life UNTIL you are READY.
 
And to be ready, you must show up.
You must open up.
You must be available and take advantage of the opportunities that show themselves to you and ask for your commitment.
 
Because if your SOUL tells you to take on that commitment,
that opportunity,
then that is YOUR SOUL guiding you to your highest and best.
That is your soul leading you on your path to your truth.
To your best life.
 
The question only comes down to the question of,
 
WILL YOU LISTEN TO SOUL?
 
Or will you continue to ignore?
 
You know what ignoring or half a*s listening has gotten you so far….
 
Why not try something new?
 
 
As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
It’s time that you start to say YES to the most important person in the room beautiful. It’s time that you accept your worth, and step onto this path that your SOUL is calling you too.
I know how hard the steps may appear.
I know that you are fearful, that you doubt if you have what it takes to make this shiz happen for you or not.
But I promise you that YOU can do it.
You can have it.The first step though is to recognize that you must let go and have faith in your process of getting there.
Listen to your SOUL and follow it’s lead.
Imagine having a coach who has been on a similar path guide you, help you discover the deeper meanings of what soul is wanting you to know.
What would it feel like to have that sort of support and guidance?
You can have this.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Private mentoring and coaching today.

You Are Worthy Of Authentic Love.

 
It’s high time beautiful that you STOP the silliness of always saying yes when you mean no.
 
Yeah I see you over there.
faking that smile.
Faking that reaction.
Feeling like you have too,
when in truth you just simply are not all that in to that shiz.
 
But you still say yes.
You say yes because its programmed into you to say yes.
You say yes because you don’t want to rock the boat,
you do not want to cause a confrontation,
you most certainly don’t want to feel separation.
 
What does it matter any way?
Your opinion, your needs or desires.
You are a nice person.
You are not greedy.
You are not selfish.
You put other’s first.
Just the way you were taught.
 
I get it.
 
The issue is that you are dried up.
You are worn out.
You just keep saying yes and thinking that your yes will fill you up because giving is so good.
 
Except you forgot to give to the most important person beautiful.
 
You forgot to take care of the most valuable player in your life.
 
YOU.
 
And so you now have so little of you left to give.
You are fatigued,
lost and off centered.
You don’t have the stamina or energy to keep going and you most likely are questioning if you can.
 
But you just said another inauthentic yes to someone,
and so you must.
You must keep your head up and smile.
 
You are afraid that if you state your truth.
If you say NO –
that this relationship you are giving yourself away for will be no more.
You are afraid you will be judged, criticized, hurt someones feelings, or worse yet be abandoned by them.
 
If you really stop and feel into this,
you should see the silliness of this idea.
If this relationship is meant to be,
if it is a friendship,
a love based relationship,
a relationship that is based on truth and trust…
then why would it go away just because you are a no to something?
 
Now, if the relationship is based simply on you doing what the other wants and needs at all cost,
and you not getting your needs met,
or there is zero allowance for your authenticity,
then perhaps it is high time that you reconsider the value of this relationship in your life.
 
Perhaps you should look at this relationship and question what exactly you are making yourself available for and WHY?
 
Does this relationship make you happy?
Does it fulfill you?
Do you feel like this relationship is equally yoked?
 
Or are you just bending over backward out of fear of being alone.
Out of fear of loss.
Fear that there is nothing better than this,
that you are not deserving of it?
 
Well, I want you to realize that YOU ARE WORTHY of love.
 
And any relationship that says that it is love but demands you to NOT be authentic to get this love, is NOT LOVE.
 
It’s a LIE.
 
You deserve much better than this.
And deep in your heart you know it is true.
It is what pulls at you when you find yourself holding yourself and trying to comfort yourself when you actually need the arms of your relationship.
 
It is that sick feeling that comes up in your stomach when you say yes to something but you know that it is not really for you, but you do it anyway.
 
It is that nervousness or that physical constriction that manifests itself when you agree and push yourself to be/do something that you are not.
 
YES YOU KNOW.
 
And it is truly high time that you STOP the silliness of saying yes when you are actually a no.
 
In saying your authentic truth you will gain respect,
you will feel more confidence,
you will be embraced more by life and others,
you will be trustworthy.
And guess what those people that DO LOVE YOU,
will still be there.
The one’s who were only there for your hand outs, your service and how you made them feel without care of you,
well they will no longer be there.
 
Or they will see you differently and love you for your truth.
 
Either way,
you are worthy of true love.
But in order for you to have it,
you have to start being true to yourself.
And love yourself enough to speak your heart.
 
Say YES.
Say YES to YOU.
Not to everyone else.
 
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
It’s time that you start to say YES to the most important person in the room beautiful. It’s time that you accept your worth, and step onto this path that your SOUL is calling you too.
I know how hard the steps may appear.
I know that you are fearful, that you doubt if you have what it takes to make this shiz happen for you or not.
But I promise you that YOU can do it.
You can have it.The first step though is to recognize that you must let go and have faith in your process of getting there.
Listen to your SOUL and follow it’s lead.
Imagine having a coach who has been on a similar path guide you, help you discover the deeper meanings of what soul is wanting you to know.
What would it feel like to have that sort of support and guidance?
You can have this.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Private mentoring and coaching today.

WHEN HUMAN BECOMES SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE.

WHEN HUMAN BECOMES SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE.
 
Can you imagine a world where being human is accepted?
Where there is no fear or shame in the color of our skin or the color of our lovers skin?
 
Can you imagine a world where there is no shame in your sexual preferences?
And people don’t feel like they need to be something to “fit in” or be cool?
 
Can you imagine a world where our emotions actually matter? Where what we feel counts for something?
 
Can you imagine a world where children have rights too?
A world where children are not treated like less than human, like property or a domesticated or farm animal?
 
Can you imagine a world where we give a shiz about the psychological issues that can be caused and the emotional or physical suffering of another human being MORE THAN how much money can be profited form something?
 
Can you imagine a world where you ACTUALLY have a right to CHOOSE what you do with your body?
 
Can you imagine a world where neighbors share more than just alley ways and walkways, but actually are friends?
 
Can you imagine a world where a man of ANY effing color can pick up trash on his property and not be interrogated at gun point by the police?
 
Can you imagine a world where mutilation and rape were not considered normal? But instead loving your body and each other were.
 
Can you imagine a world where people can share a kiss in public and not have everyone around them cringe and huff?
 
Can you imagine a world where when a parent learns that something has happened to their child that is not good, that they STOP and LISTEN to their child instead of hide from the events?
 
Can you imagine a world where we the people of the world actually give a true shiz about the world and about our fellow humans?
 
Can you imagine a world where being happy is not frowned up on and one is not asked why are you so happy as if there is something wrong with them?
 
Can you imagine a world where a man can pay a woman a compliment or hold a door open and not be accused of sexual assault?
 
Can you imagine a world where you can discipline your child without CPS showing up at your door because someone heard you raise your voice or saw you swat a bottom?
 
Can you imagine a world where a therapist can hug a client that is falling apart at the seems and does not get their license suspended?
 
Can you imagine a world where education matters, not just test scores?
 
Can you imagine a world where where entitlement is not a thing, but belief in yourself matters everything?
 
This is a small list.
18 things that you can imagine if being human was socially acceptable.
 
Somewhere in our history we have forgotten our humanness.
 
We look back at tales of our past.
We look at Nazi Germany, concentration camps.
We look at Vietnam and the Cold War.
We look at the wars between countries to overthrow powers, to take over land.
We look at the starving children in other back yards.
We look everywhere but right in front of our own faces.
 
We do not see the misery,
the in-justice,
the stupidity,
and the history on repeat.
 
We do not recognize it because we are blinded by fear.
We are fearful of our neighbors.
We are fearful of our truth.
 
And what we do with it is sad.
We turn away from our humanness.
We hide and we let loose of our liberties,
our rights and then we wonder how these things just keep getting worse.
 
I am going to share an intimacy with you.
I do what I do,
boldly the way that I do because I refuse to be what I call a sheeple.
I refuse to let my life be washed over by fear.
I refuse to NOT BE the change that I wish to see in this world.
I refuse to not follow the light.
 
Jesus, Gandhi, Buddha, Mother Teresa, Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King, Our Founding Fathers of the USA – All of them, Abe Lincoln, Kennedy and so many others.
This list is long.
 
These souls,
you know what they wanted to teach?
HUMANNESS.
 
To be human means that you embrace that you are the custodian of this world and you play a significant role in the lives of all your fellow humans.
 
I do what I do boldly, unapologetically because WE THE PEOPLE OF PLANET EARTH need a f-cking wake up call!
 
It is my mission to be of service in helping YOU, and you, and you over there, to pull your head out of the sand and to stand BOLDLY in who you are.
 
Its the reason I write from soul.
I speak from soul.
I coach from soul.
Its the reason I get up each morning.
I believe in YOU.
 
I believe in HUMAN KIND.
Crazy as that sounds on some days.
I do believe in us.
 
But I could use your help.
Just like this world,
could use you WANTING to FIND YOUR POWER and wanting to live a life where you THRIVE.
 
No one can do this for any of us.
We each must do it for self.
And by working on self,
we heal this planet.
We heal our people.
The people of planet earth.
 
We are all family.
Let’s not forget this.
 
Get educated.
Pay attention.
Stop hiding.
Embrace who you are,
and stop F-cking Around!
 
As always,
Stop existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
It’s time that you start to say YES to the most important person in the room beautiful. It’s time that you accept your worth, and step onto this path that your SOUL is calling you too.
 
I know how hard the steps may appear.
I know that you are fearful, that you doubt if you have what it takes to make this shiz happen for you or not.
 
But I promise you that YOU can do it.
You can have it.The first step though is to recognize that you must let go and have faith in your process of getting there.
 
Listen to your SOUL and follow it’s lead.
 
Imagine having a coach who has been on a similar path guide you, help you discover the deeper meanings of what soul is wanting you to know.
 
What would it feel like to have that sort of support and guidance?
 
You can have this.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Private mentoring and coaching today.

Conscious Coffee with Kendal- Children, Racism, The War on Women =The Retardation of Our World Plus Other Things No One Wants To Be Open On


TRAUMA GREW MY ROSE GARDEN AND GRATITUDE WATERS IT.

TRAUMA GREW MY ROSE GARDEN AND GRATITUDE WATERS IT.

Today is a really interesting day for me.
It marks my one year of one of the most traumatic events I have had happen in a relationship so far. It also marks my one year of a massive transformation period, new growth and opportunity blended with trauma and needed healing.

Today I sit here at Starbucks after dropping my youngest son off to his father ( the man I fell out of relationship a year ago today).
It was brutal to drop him off today.
My heart actually still hurts from this mornings exchange.

Our son age four, ran to the back seat of my car as we pulled into daddy’s driveway and he screamed, “I don’t want to go to daddy’s house.” he got so frustrated, clung to the rear seat with all the force his little body could muster and screamed, “No Mommy.”

I grabbed him up, hugged him. Told him that I loved him and that I would see him later today and then he would be back at mommy’s house on Wednesday. He clung to my neck and fought profusely to hold on to me as his father took him out of my arms.

I never wanted any of this for my baby.
I don’t believe that any of us parents ever want this sort of emotional pain on our children. I don’t believe that my ex desires this trauma to come up on our son either.
And yet it still falls here.

Today, I find myself sitting here upset at my son’s pain.
Wishing I could do more for him.
Wishing that us adults who have brought this on him could have communicated better about what we wanted from each other and how we wanted out of our relationship before it came to violence as it did and a nasty, terrorizing breakup that will last a life time for our children emotionally not to mention the physical repercussions that are still being dealt with for myself.

I sit here still wondering how I could not have realized more so as to where my ex was at.
Wondering why he had to act out in violence and rage the way he did one year ago today.
Why it was so important for him to push me and all the children away with such extreme measures.
Why could he just not simply say that he wanted out and we move onto separate paths in peace and harmony, working together for the greatest good of all the children and each other.

I knew he was unhappy in our relationship.
I knew he wanted out.
He did not even desire to want to spend 30 minutes a week with me alone even though this had become a consistent request and desire of mine. He could not stomach to sit by me and watch TV, he wanted nothing to do with cuddling or sex that was two sided, only wanted to get off and be done. Would roll away in disgust after pushing me away like trash after he had reached climax.
He became rageful with friends and emotionally and physically aggressive toward his step-children. He was hateful and I told myself that he was stressed about work, money, health, anything but the truth was what I proclaimed.

The signs were there.
They were in front of my blind eyes and desire to make it all work for us.
The more committed I became to our relationship and requested time and connection,
the more he pushed away in anger.

And now,
a year later I see the truth.
I see his pattern that he had to enforce.
I see the pain that he must be in.
And I am grateful that even though that was a brutal time and experience,
even though there is still much healing that needs done for self and children.

I am grateful that I never lost who I was,
I never lost love,
I never lost my family or friends,
and I can do the healing and I understand at a deep level the power of emotions,
the importance of knowing self and NOT hiding from myself and feelings.
I am grateful that I was given a powerful opportunity last year to stand up and be 100% me.
The last year has offered me so many blessings that would have never come about had he not caved to his patterns and needs to push love away, to push so hard that he was the one to be abandoned in the experience by everyone. To repeat the trauma from his youth. And to create an experience that supported his belief that the feminine always leaves him.

I see now how he had to push that hard.
I am too stubborn to leave when I still love.
I believed it could be fixed,
I believed that he was not lying when he said that he loved me more than anyone else.
I strangely believed in us and in him.

But today,
today I stand in gratitude for the 7 years of learning,
of experience and growth,
for the birth of my two youngest angels that i would not trade for anything.

Today I stand here in gratitude for his push.
Busted up body and everything,
it was worth it.
Because I found my true strength.
I found my heart.
My SOUL.
And tapped into allowing myself, to be me without needing another.
There is great beauty in the darkest of clouds if you allow yourself to see it and you allow time to step you back far enough to see the whole sky and it’s beauty.

Life is one BIG TRUST EXERCISE.
And today,
I am reminded of the trust and faith that I had to muster up at one of my lowest, scariest points in life so far.
Today, I choose to focus on that reminder.
To focus on the gratitude and the opportunities that have come from this event, like any event in our lives.
Today I choose to look at my blessed life.
The steady massive love that I experience from family, friends and the wonderful man I have in my life currently.
The AMAZING tribe that I have developed and all the growth that I am seeing in my business and life.
The wealth of connection, joy and the laughter that resides in my home daily that was not there a year ago or before.
My creativity at an all time high.
The beauty and bounty that is in each step on this journey.

Today I want to say THANK YOU to the man that tossed me to the side last year, who tried to destroy me and all that we had built together.
From that rubble grew a rose garden.

MY ROSE GARDEN.

Thank you for my pain.
Thank you for my suffering.
Thank you for the trauma.
Thank you for the goodbye.
I am so effing happy with my life TODAY!

My question to you that I share this with today is,
what are you doing with your trauma, drama and pain? Does it hold you back or build you up?

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

It’s time that you start to say YES to the most important person in the room beautiful. It’s time that you accept your worth, and step onto this path that your SOUL is calling you too.

I know how hard the steps may appear.
I know that you are fearful, that you doubt if you have what it takes to make this shiz happen for you or not.

But I promise you that YOU can do it.
You can have it.The first step though is to recognize that you must let go and have faith in your process of getting there.

Listen to your SOUL and follow it’s lead.

Imagine having a coach who has been on a similar path guide you, help you discover the deeper meanings of what soul is wanting you to know.

What would it feel like to have that sort of support and guidance?

You can have this.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Private mentoring and coaching today.

Childhood Sexual Abuse Is More Real Than You Want To Acknowledge, and So You Hide.

I just want to say that our system is F-CKED!!!!
I mean seriously f-cked.

Today I write with a heart that is frustrated, upset and emotional.

Today my heart goes out to all those who have experienced or who know that abuse is happening and can do nothing about it.

The victims.
The one’s who want to protect, but find their hands tied.
Yes I feel you.
I see you.
I know the troubled heart that you carry.
There is nothing worse then to witness abuse of any sort happening and be told you cannot do a damn thing about it.
To hear the cries.
To see the bruises.
and be told that its not real.

Sit down and brace yourselves.
I am going to share an intimacy from my day,
an intimacy that is not fun,
is not humorous,
and most certainly not just.

I have family that is being abused.
Sexually abused.
Three little boys,
age 2, 4 and 5 who are being physically abused,
sexually abused, starved, beaten, left with a known predator and their cries are IGNORED.

By their mother,
their grandparents,
extended family,
the police.
CPS.
Attorneys just want money,
no care as to child well being.
Everyone who knows says, ” I don’t want to get involved.”

And so the abuse continues.
And so the trauma continues.
And these boys,
these boys now hide with their horror that their uncle brings to them each week.
Now they learn that it is okay,
“He is your uncle, we love him, he can do what he wants.”

WTF!!!!!
Our system is F-CKED!!!!

And for those who think this could not happen in this day and age,
I promise you this is a true story.
This man who is doing this has a record,
it was before he was 18 years old so no one knows of it.
It is ignored.
As if by some miracle that when he turned 18 things would change his sick mental state of being.
His distorted hunger.

Who the f-ck plays “the penis game” with kids?
What sort of adult man,
or any adult for that matter,
takes little boys and bites their penis as a f-cking game?

Sick a*shole!

It is rare that I find such disgust for anyone,
but today I sit here after such great hope that CPS would see the light with this being a third report,
sweep in and do something.
At least prevent further abuse till the judge could settle things between the parents,
but no.

They choose to disregard.
To claim there is no abuse.
That its crying wolf.

I guess bruises on a 5 year old’s penis and stories of uncle playing the penis game are normal.
I guess that the signs that the boys show of abuse are imagined.
I guess that the only thing that matters is what?

The attorney’s and the money.
The let’s avoid paperwork, its Thursday, too close to the weekend.

Seriously!

And then, you know what I know is that in 15, 20, 30, 40+ years from now, when these boys are men, that they will have so much inner work to do to heal.
They will have to work through idea’s of suicide,
murder, not knowing their sexual personality.
They will have to learn even more than the rest of us about love and what it is and what it is not. And hopefully will not follow down a path like their uncle.

We wonder where the predators come from.
We wonder why our youth has the hate crimes,
why abuse is climbing and not spoken about until it’s too late. We wonder why mental health states is tipsy, questionable. Suicide rates are high.

This is why people!

We choose to take the easier path on almost everything we do. No matter the harm that it may cause.

We choose to ignore.
We choose to hide.
We choose to NOT SPEAK OUT!
We choose to shut down.
We choose to not stand up for hose who cannot stand up for themselves, because it’s not our problem.
We choose to have misguided loyalty.
We choose to not do the freaking paperwork.
We choose to let lives be destroyed.
Children harmed.

We have created a system that support the expansion of trauma.

And we think it’s great!
Because it’s not our kid.
It’s not our family.
It’s not US.

It’s not YOU.

And sure this topic today is one that is too effing close to my heart and daily life right now.

But I have clients that have lived through this abuse.
I work with men,
with women,
who spend a lifetime trying to overcome the damage that was caused by such events and worse.
The stories that I have heard from adults about their youth,
I cannot tell you how my heart goes out.

The crusade to save our children,
it’s real.

If we ever want a world that is peaceful,
healed to any level.
We need to look at all human rights.
And stop treating children like they have no f-cking rights,
like they are just good story tellers.
Imaginative.

Sexual Abuse for our youth is more real than what any of us want to admit.

And our system is F-cked to a point that it is almost hopeless.

Because it’s not about the children.
It’s not about safety.
It’s not about rights.
It’s about money, bottom lines and keeping it easy on those who don’t care and are not being effected.

I believe that there is HOPE.
I believe that our WORDS matter.
Our VOICES need to be heard.
The children need a voice.

And their voice comes from YOUR awareness.
Hope is awakened by more adults doing the inner work that they need to do to not be fearful of speaking out, speaking up and standing up.

Our children would be safer if the VILLAGE protected them instead of ignored them.

Yes today’s message is one of a CALL to ACTION that if you know of abuse happening to not turn the other cheek, to not ignore. To not hide your f-cking head in the sand and disregard.

Your hiding will never save anyone, including yourself.
But your voice,
your voice could save multiple lives.

Will you STAND, SPEAK UP, SPEAK OUT?
Or will you continue to ignore?

It’s starts with you not ignoring your SOUL.
It starts with you eliminating your own SHAME.
It starts with you communicating your NEEDS.
It starts with you getting COMMITTED to YOU.

So pull that beautiful head out of the sand,
and let your voice be heard.
Your message felt.

And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living Not IGNORING!

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Imagine letting o of your fear,
letting go of your shame.
What would your life be like if you were working with a mentor that could help you level up your life and let go of all those things that no longer serve you?
What would you like to release? Let go of and create for your EMPOWERED Life?

Let’s talk.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Coaching today.

This Is What Men Have Taught Me About Money, Abundance, Goals and Happiness.

This Is What Men Have Taught Me About Money, Abundance, Goals and Happiness.

Years ago, I was married.
I was married at age 18.
I had five children.
Struggled, lost homes, was burred under debt, my health suffered, my marriage suffered, my sex was nothing but duty. I hated my life! I was focused on the NOT having and I was buying into the concept of this is just how it was. This was normal and I had to just suck it up.

My husband then was in financial services, he worked for Primerica which was part of Travelers Group, originally Art Williams created the company back in the 1970’s and it was known as A.L. Williams Life Insurance Group. It was about term insurance and investments.

I met my husband in the company as I was working on my licenses to become a representative to sell for them and was interested in the structure of the system.

Well, fast forward past all that and the wedding and the child birth stuff and you found us BROKE. Chasing our dreams of becoming financially free. Our goal back then was to become Vice Presidents of the company and make a six figure income. Get the ring to show how great we were and the rewards of trips and such.

And so we listened to ALL the motivational stuff.
We went to the seminars.
We made the cold calls and followed the sales scripts.
We worked, worked , worked.
And occasionally made some sales.
Some would charge back, which put us in debt with the company and had to be taken out of future commissions.
some would stick.

For years we chased the DREAM.
For years we struggled.
We comforted ourselves with the concept that we were building a beautiful tale of overcoming the feats and obstacles but in the end succeeded.
We imagined walking on the stage and telling the story.
OUR STORY.

And we struggled.
Living on what averaged out to be $17,000 a year.
Raising children, scrimping buy.
Food Stamps, Evictions, State insurance, borrowing whatever we could from family to make ends meet and even sleeping on families couches when things got REALLY bad.

But we kept chasing that dream.

Until one day, I could not chase it anymore.
I was burned out. I hated my life.
I wanted it all to end.
And I spent the next two years of my life in the middle of deep dark depression, that still today I wonder how I made it through alive. I acted out, I drank too much alcohol. We fought like wild raging animals.

It was toxic.
It was unhealthy for everyone.
And it had to come to an end.

Fast forward.
I decided I was done.
I decided that I wanted a divorce.
I decided that we had too much water under our bridge.
And I chose to burn the bridge.

I decided that if it was up to me, it was going to be my freedom, my way, my flow, my self-discovery, my healing.

And so it was.

I had to let go of all the old ways though.
And I did, for the most part.
I dug in and started to do the inner work.
I decided that I was the most important person in the room.
In my life.
That if I wanted to be an AMAZING mom, I needed to feed my SOUL.

I reinvented myself.

So I started my practice,
it was nothing like it is today,
but it was my foundation grounds.
My learning grounds.
My healing grounds.
And with my practice came a desire to date and explore the masculine because I had never done that before.
I only had explored three men intimately up to this point and I knew I had a bunch of shame, guilt, self-image and fear wrapped around this area of life.

I was not overly caught up on dating.
It was just a desire that I had and if it came along,
then it came along.
I created some doorways for opportunities to happen and I did not really apply my focus there too much. I just knew what I wanted and let it be.
Something about dating and men felt easy to me.
Even with my fear.
I had a fascination, a curiosity that overcame the fear.
Men and dating felt playful to me.
It was a game,
new ground to explore.
An adventure.
My ONLY expectation was to enjoy it and learn.

And so I decided in that moment that I would NEVER chase men. There was no need. Because I wanted it to just be FUN.

And so it was.

As with men, I quickly discovered that money, abundance, goals and happiness were no different.

If I chased them.
They ran from me.

If I turned them into a fun game,
an adventure and let my curiosity run free,
then they flowed.

My advice to you today BABY is simple.

Stop chasing everything!

Wonder why it is running from you?
Well it’s not rocket science BABY.
It is running from you because you are chasing it.

I know that you have been told to chase your dreams.
I know that you have been told to make your goals happen.
I know that you have heard that there is no gain without the pain.

Yeah I understand.
I lived that way for so many years.
I still have those nasty lies pop up in my mind today and try and take me down.
Try and steal my joy.

But today I see them for the wolves they are.
And I know what to do to get back into my FLOW.

That is the power of doing the inner work.
That is the purpose of having a mentor.
That is why we who crave the f-ck yes lifestyle that is so much more than money,
its all about FREEDOM and HAPPINESS.

It’s about SOUL.

Yes we know the power of saying YES to ourselves and taking the ACTION to do the things that must be done.

Those things are internal 80% of the time.
Those things are the things that we AVOID.
We hide from.

But as long as you keep choosing to chase your dreams the old fashioned way, you will remain the predator to that, that you so desire and it will keep running from you.

Sure you can succeed this way.
You can keep chasing.
You can capture your dreams and goals and MAKE THEM HAPPEN.

But at what cost?

How much of YOU will be left?
And will you be truly happy, fulfilled and healthy?

There is an easier way BABY.
It’s called Ease and Flow.
It’s called SOUL Guidance.
But first you must learn to listen.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

It’s my specialty beautiful!
It’s my purpose work.
My calling and my passion.
When I chose all those years ago to step into who I was and step into my ease and flow,
I chose to live a life of service and help YOU find your ease and flow.

But to do that you have to want it.
You have to be ready to get ready to RECEIVE it.
And that mean creating doorways for it to come through and releasing you from the predatory chains of your current beliefs and habits.

You can keep doing what you are doing.
Or you can grab a consult with me and make a different choice.
You can reinvent YOURSELF.
Which is actually just unveiling YOURSELF.

Claim Your Life Today.

Free Consults ( phone, facebook video or 1:1 in person) till May 22, 2019 

 

I am looking for a girlfriend experience….

I am looking for a girlfriend experience…

I can’t help it, men wake up with cum on the brain…

It’s your fault, you are so hot, I just cannot control myself…

You teach tantra, so that means that you will have sex with me…

I want to sex you…

So what do you think? (insert below average unsolicited dick pic here)

And so many other statements that we coaches, educators, tantra teachers and WOMEN GET DAILY.

And I have left some of the more raunchy ones off of this list.

If I shared what gets stated and shown to me frequently via Facebook messenger and other lines of social media and randomly to my email or phone I would get kicked off of Facebook. Funny little note here, if I report someone on Facebook for sexual harassment or aggressive statements or out of standard pictures I get to keep the pictures and messages, it is left up to me to dispose of them. But if I say one word that someone scrolling through see’s and is upset about then my posting is trashed and I am booted for three days…FAIR????🤔

My rant here is because I want to bring to light the ill ideas that so many have of women in general.

How so many (sorry men, but it is effing true) men think it okay, normal, ACCEPTABLE and even appreciated to message and make the comments that they do to random women they do not know or even ones that they do know.

The above leading statement, “I am looking for a girlfriend experience.” was recently messaged to me here on Facebook from an old client of mine who after yesterdays communications has been blocked and is on the cusp of having a restraining order served if he does not simmer his ass down.

YES! He took it that far.

It is hard to rattle me.
It is difficult to get to me with the distasteful pictures and comments.
I typically just delete after a good laugh. 🤣🤣🤣
With no message back.
Every now then when I am hormonal or just in a bitchy mood and had enough of the shenanigans that these pervs who seem to be dressed up as adult men send out,
on these days,
these days I get a little sarcastic.
And fire back something. 📣🤣🤦‍♀️
I consider it tossing my ego some breadcrumbs.
As I do so much work to keep light on my ego and stay aware of where it is and how it is trying to control me.

But then this shiz 💩happens.
An old client solicits me for sex.
Assuming it is okay.
Assuming that I would I guess be excited at his proud offer.
And then to his dismay, I say – NO! 😱

Sorry sir, I don’t do that.
I don’t sleep with my clients.
I don’t do sexual things with my clients.
If you want to do a coaching appointment over dinner, yes we can .
If you want and extended coaching session, yes we can do that too.
You want me to listen and give you connection that way, yes we can do that too.
You want a hug. – yes I will give you a hug if you need it.

Oh wait, you want me to come to your hotel room and stay the effing night????? ( scratching my head as I wonder where he got this idea from🤔)

Ummmmm…. let me see if that is in my pay grade? or desire grade?

Ohhhhhhhhh…..

F-CK NO!!!!!!!!!

Yeah.
And yet so many men out there think that we women will be ecstatic to just have a guy message and say, ” I wanna f-ck you.” or ” I love you. So lets have sex. Let me touch you here and there. Do this and that to you. I can show you want a real man is like.”

And we women are to go weak at the knees I guess.
And get wet, and be like “Oh my God, my soulmate has arrived! YES. YES. YES. Please, take me. Let me bend over for this two pump chump that I have been dreaming of.”

LOL.
Right?

Oh I know what will make it better.
This chick she is hot and she teaches on sex.
I will offer to pay her for the two pumps.
That will be appealing.
That will seal the deal.

SERIOUSLY GUYS?

And these same men will proclaim themselves Conscious Men.
Spiritual Men.
Emotionally Mature Men.
Wise Men.
Understanding Women Men.

Of which none really apply.

I am a woman who loves men.
I love supporting men.
I love working with men.
I love seeing men become better men.
Having the love, the relationships, the sex and abundance that they want.

But with someone that is not me.
Unless you are my boyfriend. My lover.
Which FYI is NOT an easy place to get.

Women can be easy for sure.
Some more than others.
And this has a lot to do with a lot of things.
But most women who love themselves, respect themselves and KNOW WHAT THEY WANT.

Will not bed easy.
Or with just anyone.
And for certain not with these FOOLS!

Sorry wantabe gents, I only provide a girlfriend experience to my boyfriend.
And he is my boyfriend because he is at least wise enough to not make these stupid assumptions.

SO this rant, is for all you ladies out there.
Single or taken.
No matter your relationship status,
no matter your body type,
no matter your background,
religion,
career,
education level,
or ethnic background.

I know we all get this SHIZ consistently and it sucks.
So the next time a dude sends you a unsolicited dick pic and says what do you think baby?
Simply say, ” I think you should not be sending me child pornography and I am reporting this.”

Guys, you can call me whatever name you want right now, and if you are calling me names and taking offense then you might be one of these dudes I am speaking of.

In Jeff Foxworthy terms, “Here’s Your Sign!”

This may be a controversial post…
This may have some anger and frustration attached,
and I am NOT claiming that all men are this way ( thank goodness you are not or we women would be very upset and lonely) What I am saying is that –
💩💩💩THIS SHIZ IS NOT OKAY!!!💩💩💩

Guy’s you have got to realize that if all you think you have to offer is that little picture and some fowl words, some begging and then some anger when you get NOTHING but crickets or go the eff away….

That YOU have got some inner work to do.
You have got to learn some things about women and life.
We don’t owe you anything, certainly not our sex.
Maybe a blocking on social media… but our thanks and appreciation for this crap is not owed.

You want to have a chance with a women,
appeal to her mind and heart.
Women DO NOT operate like men.
Your pictures will not captivate us and make us want you.
And we typically don’t let sex rule our lives.
Or our actions.
And if you really want a woman,
then you need to F-CKING EARN HER!

Become a man.
Start there.
We are not babysitters.
We are not wanting the immaturity,
the disrespect

Your dick….
Your sexual comments are NOT A TURN ON.

Got it?
I sure as eff hope so.

But sadly the men who need to read this,
WILL NOT.

And to the rest of you men out there,
who this does not apply too.

THANK YOU!!!!🙌

Keep doing you!
The world needs more GOOD MEN.

Okay rant over.

As Always,
Stop Existing ( And settling for so little) & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Want to learn what women really want?
Stop allowing average or worse into your love life.
Explore this global workshop for men to help you become a superior man in bed and outside of it. Learn about women.
Check it out here at its current discounted price.