ARE YOU GUILTY OF CHEAP TALK? IT COULD BE WHATS DESTROYING YOUR RELATIONSHIPS.

TALK IS CHEAP! AND IT’S PERVASIVE AROUND YOU.

 

“I am here for you.”

“Let me know what I can do.”

“I got your back.”

“Yeah, I totally agree.”

“I see what’s been happening, where you are at, what you are saying, etc.”

 

There are so many things that we tell others with little to no meaning behind them.

We speak these statements with good intent often,

but we don’t understand the value of actually following our words up with action. Sometimes the action is just more words of support, or helping one find answers, or just simply holding space for someone who is going through a rocky time in life and needs to have that space. Other times, it means that we need to follow through with supportive action to those words.

 

Recently in my life I have had an onslauth of what you could say shiz going down in my personal life.

 

I find myself standing here not thirty days into a new year amazed at everything that has occured over the last ninety days.

Some mornings I wake and find humor in the events,

realizing that you can’t make this shiz up.

Hollywood would pay a mint for the tales I could tell.

And then other days I realize that it’s just life,

my soul wanting to expand who I am and strengthen my vessel so I can become everything I desire and live that unbound beautiful life I know is mine.

 

And then there are the days that I wake in total frustration.

Anger.

Fear.

Judgement.

Bitterness.

Anxiety.

Exhaustion.

 

And I wonder why me?

Why now?

How much more does God think I can carry?

And WHY do the people in my life not see it? hear it? Why do they just keep wanting more from me in the face of everything else?

 

No matter how I wake,

what I have been blessed to witness is a reality check in my relationships. Revelations on no matter who we are, we are all human at the end of the day and our humanness when overtaken by our ego is extremely superficial and self-centered, even when we attempt to support and give love.

 

We blind ourselves and ignore others’ needs and desires, even though we can see what is happening in their lives and how at the end of a string they may be. How close to crashing they truly are.

 

And we do this NOT because we don’t care or cannot understand,

but because we want what we want for ourselves.

 

So we act as though we did not see.

We claim they did not communicate clearly.

We say they never told us.

We spout back, “Well I tried but you would not connect, answer, etc.”

 

YOU WERE NOT CLEAR ON WHAT YOU NEEDED FROM ME.

 

We push back the blame to the other.

Not wanting to see ourselves and how in these times we disregarded what was right before us with our loved one for the sake of our own self-centered needs and wants.

 

If we were to get real with our words,

and to honor them and have the self-respect and respect of the other parties as well, we would stand behind our word.

 

UNDERSTANDING THAT OUR WORD IS EVERYTHING.

 

This is not just some old school statement that our word makes up our character.

It’s not just a line from Scarface or the Godfather,

John Wayne and Clint Eastwood are not the ones proclaiming the strength of a human is in his words.

No.

But I tell you that our word is all of this.

Our word is OUR CHARACTER CHECK POINT.

Our word is our STRENGTH.

or our weakness.

 

And when we say that, “I got your back.”

 

It should not be a light matter.

These words should come with an understanding that in them we are denying the self for another.

 

That we are willing to sacrifice our short term desires, needs or wants to fully support someone else and to stay aware of what is happening with them and in their lives.

 

Unfortunately, the majority of the time this is not what will occur.

The reverse is actually true.

We will state that we are supportive,

and then we will take the opportunity to bulldoze over our loved one to get our needs met instead, all the while pretending to be blind to it all. Pretending that if they had just spoken up, made it more clear, done their part that the boundaries would not have ever been crossed.

 

OUR WORDS ARE OUR RESPONSIBILITY.

Meaning that with them we take responsibility for who we are and our actions and reactions.

 

Responsibility to being consciously aware of situations, people and what is truly needed despite our self-centered desires to get our own needs and wants met.

 

THIS IS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND SUPPORT.

Anything else is empty.

 

Making our words,

our actions,

and us as a human weak and untrustworthy.

 

What do your words say about your character in a relationship?

In life?

 

Want to have deep, committed, trusting and loving relationships in all areas of your life?

 

Then it’s time to stand behind your words,

and realize they are your strength or your weakness.

Your words are your bond.

Without them you have nothing.

 

 

As Always.

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Want to learn the secrets of a dynamic powerhouse relationship?

Overcome the drama circles and superficial ego based relating game that you are so used to? Reach out to me today for 1:1 opportunities in mentorship now. Limited space.

 

COVETING IS A SLIPPERY SLOP- ONE SO MANY ARE BLIND TOO. ARE YOU?

COVETING IS A SLIPPERY SLOPE – ONE SO MANY ARE BLIND TOO.
When does it become acceptable for an individual whom may be a supposed friend, association or other to try to weasel thier way into a couples relationship to cause disconnection, disruption, or disharmony? All the while thier intent being to create an opportunity to be with one of the individuals.
This disrespect of the couple hood and the individuals can take the form of:
–> Sexual offers
–>Inappropriate suggestions, offers or touch
–>Under the guise of a shoulder to cry on –>Support that was not asked for
–>Disparaging comments about one of the individuals
–>Statements of desire or “love”
–> Consistency and persistence in advances
All with the intent to undermine the relationship.
Some of this overt.
Some covert.
Making them the most dangerous.
Acting as a wolf in sheeps clothing in hopes to lure the partner that holds ones attention slowly and discreetly over the course of time into one’s arms.
Believing that the coveted relationship can provide the same dynamics and connection even when one of the partners is no longer in play.
COVETING IS A SLIPPERY SLOPE.
The reality is that we humans covet many things.
Relationship is highly sought after.
It is our human desire and need to be connected to another. The bonding that we experience in intimate relationship is elevating and fulfilling unlike anything else. So when we see another experiencing the depth, connection and love that we may not be experiencing ourselves it leaves us hungry and aware of what is lacking in our own lives.
This is the birth place of envy and jealousy.
It is also how such disruptive and unsought for attention and advances come from.
You may not be able to control your feelings or desires for someone, however you most certainly can and IF YOU ACTUALLY LOVE or even mildly give a shit for this person, then can respect them and control your feelings and desires.
Not being able to administer the needed control around taking action or expressing the feelings reveals an even deeper issue at hand.
That being one of little self-respect or honor to soul.
Instead of elevating self,
You find yourself trying to destroy the beauty in anothers life. When you could be asking yourself how you too could develop and call a relationship that others are envious of into your own life picture.
Becoming consciously aware of those seemingly “little” or “harmless” statements and actions that one may be guilty of serves not only in the best interest of the coveted couplehood but also for the individual whom is coveting, as the awareness and taking responsibility of said actions develops ones character and thus elevates thier vibration increasing thier potential to call in the ideal relationship for thier soul experience.
So I ask you today dear reader,
First are these tactics ever okay? And secondly,
does anothers relationship, connection, or love bring you fear, jealousy or envy? Where might you consciously or subconsciously be guilty of these detrimental self-centered actions and desires and not be realizing your truth?
Level Up Your Love Life Today.
By elevating who you are and knowing your truth.
Loving You From Here.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers “
Want to manifest a relationship that makes other envious? Call in your soulmate and live elevated in love? Reach out for information on my LIMITED 1:1 and group coaching opportunities for 2021 now.
Make 2021 your Soulmate Year!

GET OUT OF YOUR OWN LIGHT.

THE FUTURE IS ALWAYS BRIGHT…. NO MATTER THE SHADOW OF THE MOUNTAIN.

 

Recently my life partner and I drove up to Pikes Peak in Colorado together. It was bitter cold out, the fresh snow lay everywhere. People flocked to sled and enjoy snow ball fights.

The crisp winter wind felt amazing on my flesh as I stood there looking out over the valley that lay at the base of the peak.

 

I recall at one moment, standing with my partner’s arms around me. We looked out at the vastness before us,

and I could feel the message of the universe in that moment.

There we were, in the shadow of Pikes Peak, a great mountain blocking the rays of the warm sun, a crisp snowy breeze blowing around us, and we felt limitless in that space.

 

We felt grounded.

Stroung.

and in love with life.

Clarity in what we wanted and the path that we had chosen together was our guiding light.

Just like the miles that stretched out in front of this mountain were sunstruck, warm and bright, so was our future.

 

And I was reminded…

That you cannot always pre-map out the journey.

Often great things come unexpected.

However,

 

YOU WILL ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU BELIEVE IS YOURS.

 

If you believe that your possibilities are limitless,

then they are.

If you believe that you are surrounded and held in love,

then you are.

If you believe that you can live a life of abundance, adventure and joy,

then you can.

 

The problem is that so often we choose to own our worst nightmares.

 

We choose to focus in on what we don’t have and accept it as our reality,

we purchase that for our life destination and journey instead of what we claim that we hunger for at our souls level.

 

And THIS REALITY IS SO THEN.

You may say that you did not plan for all the shit to happen,

that its not in your plan or picture to stand there without a great love in your life,

or to believe that you always lose in love.

You may claim that its not in your agenda to create financial destruction,

the loss of house and home,

divorce, strife and health issues,

but honey, the reality is that you are looking for it.

 

This time of Covid has proven to me just how many people leap at the opportunity to jump into their victim status,

I see so many people wanting to test positive for the Rona,

saying,

” I am sick. I must have the Rone.”

 

or blaming the economy because of critical times for their financial pictures,

their relationship stress.

Their “inability” to get out and do things,

for their weight gain, poor eating and sluggish habits.

 

Well if your hidden agenda is to be a victim,

then guess what luv,

YOU WILL BE A MF VICTIM.

 

And you will stay in the shadow of life,

in the shadow of all those who choose differently.

You will stand there,

and be a spectator to others thriving,

because you planned to be limited by life.

 

YOU EXPECT TO BE LIMITED.

 

And you will only ever get as far as you plan.

Or you could open up those plans to the possibilities that YOU ARE IN FACT LIMITLESS.

 

Unless, that scares you too much, of course.

Because that might require you to step out of the herd,

and grow a pair.

That might demand of you to go digging deeper inside yourself then you have ever gone before.

That might require you to look good and hard at your inner demons ,

those thoughts, fears, desires, and opinions,

that are holding you the f-ck back.

 

Now granted you can continue down that path you are on,

you can plot it out,

step by step,

and you can prepare for the worst case scenarios in every which way possible,

and you can stand guard.

Pick your MF armour up and be ready to battle life at every perceived turn,

and sure that might not be bad,

if your goal in life is to survive it long enough to die anyway,

and look back at a empty path,

where you retreated and warred with anything that caused you to expand.

With anything that asked you to trust in your heart and soul.

That required you to have it to leap and open your wings.

 

Sure you can get by like that.

The majority of folks do.

 

But thats all they do,

GET BY.

 

And sit there in the land of spectatorship.

Wishing for something more.

Questioning why others always have, do and create.

Not feeling fulfilled.

Seen.

Truly loved.

 

Or…

 

You could do something a bit differently and step out of the crowd.

You could realize that the valley before you lit up with all that radiant glory,

is yours for the taking.

 

It will just require you to have a higher perspective on life.

To tap the f-ck into your truth,

and to have enough courage to say F-ck Yes! To You.

 

This Is not average and ordinary living.

No.

What I am proclaiming and believe is accessible and our right as humans is to live limitless and THRIVE.

 

That we each are worthy beyond measure of just that.

That our dreams and desires are set before us not to tease us,

not to cause us disappointment in life and self,

or point out our lack or inabilities,

but instead they are put there,

 

FOR THE TAKING.

 

They are there because they are rightfully ours to begin with.

 

They WILL REQUIRE us to become a match to them.

 

They will require that we step out of our comfort zones.

They will require that we expand,

that we open ourselves up to our limitlessness.

 

They will without a doubt require that WE KNOW WHAT WE WANT.

 

And the courage to gain all that we want and feel that depth and level of fulfillment,

well it will only come when we stop standing in the way of our own sunshine as Waldo Emerson said.

 

Because the reality is….

That most of the mountains that we believe are blocking our path and our great plans,

are only us standing in our own sunshine.

 

 

Time to set yourself free baby.

Time to know your truth.

 

And As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to make 2021 your year to be limitless?

Let’s get started today with a course change.

Reach out to me about 1:1 opportunities and group events as well.

THE UNTOLD PLAN YOU MUST HAVE FOR 2021.

THE UNTOLD PLAN YOU MUST HAVE FOR 2021.
And so it came,
The year where we all pretty much stayed home or inside as the year rolled into a new one.
Sitting here in Boulder Colorado on the turning of this year watching fire works pop off from the base of the mountains, looking into empty streets and sidewalks as I sat on the edge of my hotel bed with champagne in one hand, snuggled in the arms of my man, I allowed my sleepy self to take in the calmness.
Off in the distance a man yelled out,
“Happy New Year!”
And I felt my heart sink.
I was right where I wanted to be.
With whom I wanted be.
Filled with peace, love and anticipation for the new year and a wondering as to where the next twelve months would take us.
In this space, my soul cried out to me that there was an untold plan.
It was no special plan just for my life unfolding in the next year or even decade but an untold plan for our world.
One that if we are to make our individual lives great and heal our world communities that each of us must pay attention to.
Be woke too, you could say.
And that is the great universal shift of consciousness. Now we hear alot about this topic, its not an uncommon or untold subject for sure, however you must admit that one of the greatest gifts of 2020 was the recruitment for each of us to become more solo focused and yet be concerned and aware of our fellow humans well-being. We were asked to go inward, to quarantine and distance ourselves from the masses. We were asked to hold concern for everyone’s health not just our own.
And even though, much of 2020 has been spent in fear and in concern over the weakest links in our world society, the beauty of this lesson is still prevalent.
And that is that if we are to evolve as a world society,
And thus as individuals,
That the requirements to do that are that we must evolve and elevate our thinking and feelings about others. That true growth and understanding comes first from going within ones self, and from this space of our own inner realms we can best support and nuture others.
The answeres and awareness we all long for as we cross the threshold into a new year are within ourselves.
If we continue to rely on others opinions, judgements and ideas of what we should or should not do, or what is best for us and we continue to listen to chaos then we will never raise our own vibrations and be able to connect to our truth.
With all the pandemic craze and the worry and fighting over rights, race and who’s going to be president it became almost unimaginable that any of us could even think about connecting to God deeper or ourselves.
The focus was kept on chaos.
The focus was kept on fear.
The focus was kept on separation. And not for the good of all but to create a diversion between the worlds people, targeting neighbor against neighbor, brother against sister.
And here we sit,
On the first day of a new year,
Asking ourselves,
” Whats in store for the future?”
Do you feel uncertain?
Lost?
As though your hope that when the clock struck midnight all that troubled you and the world would just seize to exist and life would suddenly be safe, good, and comfortable to a degree again but then was disappointed to discover that nothing had changed…
Welcome to 2021,
The year where its time to accept that the unspoken plan for you and our world is not to keep handing over the reigns of your life to anyone who will take them,
But instead that unspoken plan is to WAKE THE F-CK UP and claim your life.
Take responsibility for who you are.
And know that a better you equals a better world community.
Know that you do matter.
That you are worthy.
That your truth needs to be heard.
All those hopes, desires and dreams that you have for this year and your life….
Understand that the only way you will ever accomplish them is if you stop lollygagging about waiting for the world around you to do something different to make it happen.
As long as you sit back and wait for some imaginary person to come along and grant you permission to start living your best life now,
You will sadly sit and wait out the rest of your days on this earth empty and wanting for something.
The untold plan for 2021 that we must have is pretty simple…
Its the plan of action to dig deep into who each of us truly are, to stop accepting so little from ourselves, and stop allowing for others to dictate our lifes direction.
The plan is to be a F-ck Yes! To self first.
And when we feel lost or afraid to know that what we are being asked to do it to turn inward.
To go into silence with self and to feel our deepest heart.
Here in that state of calm we will gain our answers and by being selfish at this level we are in truth making the most loving, conscious choices for all those around us as well.
I ask you on this first day of a new year to take a moment and place your hand on your heart,
If you have lost people over the last twelve months, whether to death or just a separation brought on by differences of ideas and opinions or even a need to say goodbye,
I ask you in this moment to breathe into your chest.
Into your heart and feel.
Feel that loss.
Feel the opening of opportunity as well that the space from that relationship is creating for you.
Feel who you truly are outside of anyone else.
Because this is where you need to be.
This is where your answers will birth from.
And the untold plan…
Well thats for you to discover as you lean into your heart,
That beautiful precious heart of yours and listen.
Here is to wishing you a year filled with truth and love. A year of self discovery where you want to be a better human for yourself first and the world second. Where you know that all you ever have to do is turn inward and listen to your soul.
Loving you today from Boulder Colorado and always.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A* s Believers “
Lets rock out the new year by getting you in full alignment to your F-ck Yes Life today. Reach out to me to find out how.

IT COULD HAVE BEEN EASIER.

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN EASIER.
“It would have been easier if he did not behave like a psycho.
Would have been easier if he did not destroy things.
Would have been easier if he was not wasn’t actively causing discontent with family.
Would have been easier if he was not stalking and making sure he lived down the street.
Would have been easier if he had not slandered and bad mouthed, made up lies to destroy relationships and cause issues in other areas of life and work.
Would have been easier if he had not been a self-centered asshole who demonstrated that he only cares about himself at ALL cost.
Yeah it certainly could have been easier.
Could have been easier if he respected initial communications and requests for space.
Could have been easier if he had not spread lies to family.
Could have been easier if you didn’t know that the only reason he did not destroy the family home and belongings was because of outside intervention.
Could have been easier if he was not a MF narcissist.
Could have been easier if he was not sneaking around in the dark like a rat causing trouble and destroying other people property.
Could have been easier if he had not gone to those in traumatic situations and expect his issues to outweigh theirs and make a scene.
Could have been easier yes…
But not for the reasons that he thinks and wants everyone to believe.
Could have been easier if he took some responsibility for his actions.
And not spin it to look like it’s others who are making it not easy on him.
Could have been easier if he did’nt demonstrate his emotional imbalance and once again self-centeredness by crying wolf and telling how he just wants to commit suicide.
Yeah could have been easier.
Could have been easier if he did not continue to stalk and drive by, message and demand.
Could have been easier if he had just been honest throughout the relationship with himself and others.
Could have been easier if he had not expected his mind and heart to be read and refused authentic communication.
Could have been easier if he had listened in the communication being shared for years.
Could have been easier if he had accepted that you can not force your will on others and get their core to change or their heart.
Could have been easier if he respected boundaries and did not get so caught up in his ego to be blind.
The fact is it’s not easier by his own doing.
And the fact that he knows that he is a shell without the connection,
that he is lost in who he is.
Is revealing his true issue.”
I share this above from my heart and soul to all those out there who have had relationships that were broken and shattered.
That ended unexpectedly, and had their ex partner exhibit such control, fear, “craziness” toward them.
Or perhaps the reverse might be true.
Perhaps you were that ex-partner/lover/mate who went crazy at the loss of the one that you were in relationship with.
Perhaps you lost yourself in your pain,
in your lack of sight of how out of alignment the relationship truly was and how it was no longer serving either of you.
I offer my above tale to wake you up today.
To wake you up to the reality that in our loss we often cannot see our truth,
we cannot recognize what love is,
We often believe that we must make our pain known by forcing the other to feel pain as well.
And we do it all in the name of LOVE.
There are two realities in this tale that I share that I hope that you can gain for current and future happiness in relationship.
1. None of the above is based in love. Not love of the other nor of the self. The concept that we need to make another feel pain, know what they have done, that we need to be understood, heard or seen are not based in love but in need and ego. The hunger to do ill things to the one that we proclaimed to love so deeply until we part is not of soul and heart, it has nothing to do with love and not even with our pain of the loss, but instead it has everything to do with our desire and need to control a situation and others because we feel out of control in our lives and in our emotions. We are lost in self. We are not strong at our core or in whom we are and therefore we act out toward others attempting to scare and manipulate them to surrender to what we want of them.
Again, this has nothing to do with love of self or other and certainly does not respect the relationship, the memories, the lessons or either soul.
But instead shows the discontentment and lack of alignment as well as emotional maturity of the one acting out.
There is no proactivity in such actions, only reactivity and a believing that one is a victim to life and others.
2. It could have been easier is what we believe in situations like this.
We say this to life, to people and wonder why we have to be in such pain and suffering.
Why life is so rough and why we just seem to be destined to struggle.
The reality is that it is only difficult and painful because we make it such.
It is our resistance to our core,
to living by our heart and leaning into love and soul that creates the struggle.
The truth of this is evident in ALL subject areas of life, not just relationship and love.
We are in the power position.
We are not victims to circumstance or to others even.
We get to choose at any given moment how we perceive what is happening, what our role is in the event and how we are going to handle it best.
We get to decide moment by moment if we are going to create beauty or pain.
We get to choose if we are going to act from a place of certainty, love and truth or from fear, ego and a need to control and dominate a situation or person, an outcome.
OUR CHOICE DEFINES OUR REALITY.
These are the lessons of relationship break up and how we choose to move through it.
There are many more lessons,
Some are personal to the individual, some to the couple and others are spiritual awakenings that we all must evolve through.
How do you handle break up?
What is your goal in communication with your partner of current or of past?
Is it to be understood?
To feel as though they care or love you?
To know that your pain is felt or that they feel the same?
How do these questions serve you truly?
How are they defining who you are and helping you to become your best person?
And most importantly do these questions with their desired answers come from love and an unconditional elevated space or do they reside and come from your fear and need, your desire to control a situation and an outcome?
One will bring you happiness and growth,
the other suffering and resistance to truth,
YOUR TRUTH.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Make 2021 a year of love and beauty.
Heal your relationship,
heal your heart and move mountains so you can have that soulmate relationship of your dreams.
Reach out to me for deet’s on how to do this today.
 
PhotoCredit to DandelionImages

IF YOU EVER LOVED ME.

IF YOU EVER LOVED ME.

 

If you ever loved me you would not let me hurt like this.

If you ever loved me you would rethink your actions.

If you ever loved me you would take the time to hear me.

If you ever loved me you would want to share.

If you ever loved me you would give me closure.

If you ever loved me you would make this all go away.

 

And so many other if you ever statements.

 

Boy, oh boy  do I ever understand the pain of loss.

The pain of break up, divorce, seperation, being lied to and abandoned.

 

I understand how it feels when our worlds crash,

when our beautiful plans seize to exist,

and it all seems like it happens within a flash of time.

 

How can this other person who loves us,

or at least proclaimed that they did,

or at very least said that they cared,

just walk away?

 

How can they turn their backs to us and just keep on living their lives?

 

Don’t they care?

 

And so the story of love and loss goes on throughout all time.

And so our hearts expand and we are elated when those that we love are turned toward us,

and when they are no longer by our side we crash into pain and suffering. Feeling abandoned.

Feeling as though we spent all this time in a lie.

 

It just cannot be so.

It certainly is not fair or right,

and we don’t have it coming to us.

 

Right?

I mean how is it possible that this sort of thing could be of our own doing?

 

“THAT” other person made those decisions,

acted that way, said those things and lied to us,

after all.  We would not bring this upon ourselves.

 

Well I can tell you this beautiful,

YOU MOST CERTAINLY DID BRING IT UPON YOURSELF.

 

One of two things happened.

Your vibe either went up past the other person or it crashed below them.

Either way it held there for a long enough period of time and was a great enough difference in frequency that the two of you were no longer in alignment and thus the relationship had to end.

 

So which direction did you go?

This is actually the important thing to question if you truly give a sh*t about your future and who you are.

 

If you love yourself that is.

And so many people just don’t.

Hope that this is not you though.

 

You can tell what direction you went by looking at your thoughts,

your feelings and your actions.

 

If you are the one who leveled up your frequency then this relationship transition will be pretty smooth and easy. You may be in pain, you may feel a tad lost, you may want closure even but at the end of the day you will recognize that the most loving this you can ever offer someone is space to expand, to be them and to have a beautiful life with or without you and in this case it means without you. That may be a stinger, but a high vibe soul will walk away in love and know that the lessons offered in that relationship were powerful, perfect and have helped them gain clarity in who they are and what they want. A high vibe soul will know that what they need to do now is turn their full attention to themselves and clearing out anything that no longer serves them from within.

 

A high vibe soul will be in appreciation and gratitude for the relationship and the break up.

 

Yep I said that.

Gratitude for the break up,

because they see its purpose.

 

However, a low vibe soul will flounder in pain, suffering and blame.

They will demand attention and stomp around like a three year old having a tantrum. They will act out in childish ways, trying to cause pain in hope of gaining attention from the one they lost. They will not be able to take responsibility for their part in the transition and they will feel as though they simply cannot move forward until the other person does this or that to clear things up for them.

They will focus on fear and they will want the other to feel pain as well.

 

They will not see the growth and opportunity that the transition brings with it, but instead see destruction and attack.

A low vibe soul cannot see past their own ego to find the love that was there in the relationship and still remains.

A low vibe soul is caught in their own inner hell where they will reside until they choose to view life differently and take responsibility for the events, thoughts and feelings that are all thiers. They will be destined to repeat the drama that they believe is happening to them over and over again, where they will mask themselves from their beauty, their core and alignment to God all in the concept that “it’s not fair.”

 

So you see beautiful,

It is very important that you know what direction you went in the transition. It says bundles as to where you are now and what you are manifesting for your future.

It shows just how much love you have for yourself and whether you  understand how powerful you are.

 

Because you are powerful.

You co-created this transition for the purpose of becoming more of WHO YOU REALLY ARE.

 

No matter the direction you went ( up or down in frequency) this fact remains the same.

 

Now the only thing you need worry about is not if the other loved you, or still does, but if you love you enough to let go and thrive.

 

You are so f-cking worthy of a F-ck Yes! Life.

It’s time that you recognize that and see that ALL relationships are here to elevate you, educate you and clarify what you want and who you really are.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to kick 2021 off with a high vibe and call in the relationship of your dreams? Meet your soulmate and know that you really got this? Message me for deet’s on what I have in store to make just this happen and more for YOU.

$1.4 MILLION AND YOU STILL DON’T VALUE IT!

A HEART COST $1.4 MILLION DOLLARS UNINSTALLED AND WITH ZERO ROOM AND BOARD.

 

And yet we don’t value them. We deny our hearts every f-cking day!And that is the sad truth.

 

Now you can say, well that heart that costs so much is because its primary function is to keep us alive and sometimes you need a new one to keep you going. Living is worth that much and more.

Yes living is worth that much and more. However, you are most likely not living. You are instead at best just getting by, surviving. And you are calling it living. Because while that heart of yours is beating you take it and this day for granted. Don’t you?

 

Let’s get serious.

 

You don’t even realize that you don’t value your heart. You think that it is serving its purpose just by beating and keeping the blood pumping through your veins.

 

But in truth…you are abusing it. You are not listening to it. You are actually denying it.You avoid it. You run from it. And you do it all in the name of “logic.”

 

Society and your upbringing hijacked your heart from you and you have bought it hook line and sinker ( big on the sinker part too) that you are to NOT LISTEN to your MF heart.

 

And then you wonder why sh*t don’t work out for you. Why you feel lost. Why you are never really happy. You may have fleeting moments of happiness, but you don’t really sink all the way into it do you. You may feel good here and there, but your “good days” require outside sources to act and do certain things. You don’t legitimately feel damn good.

 

Now you may tell a little lie here, I get it, you don’t want to actually surrender to the truth of your reality that you have allowed yourself to get a bit f-cked up through life. You want to feel like you are in control or perhaps that you are not in control, that life has caused all of this and you were not on board with it, but those are the cards that were dealt to you and you are doing the best you can with what you got.

 

The reality is that you are in control. You have allowed yourself to lose your heart. You may have not known that you were allowing it, you may have thought that it is just the way life is, you may have actually believed that if you listened to your heart that it would make you weak, lost or feeling stupid in someway. That it was not a good source of wisdom.

 

The opposite is true.

 

It is your GPS.

It is your path.

And it is far more valuable than $1.4 million.

It is worth EVERY F-CKING THING.

 

But you still don’t get it.

You still believe that it’s too dangerous to follow,

too uncertain to trust.

You still believe that it will get you into trouble and cause you pain and suffering,

because you “think” that those past painful events that you have lived through,

that some if not all of them were actually caused by your hearts poor judgment.

And so you deny it still.

And you have chosen to sit in agony for the rest of your days, avoiding life.

Turning away from bliss and joy, surrender to love and having all that you want for.

 

It’s sad.

Truly it is that so many choose this path of not discovering themselves.

 

And that is what the heart is all about.

Discovery of your truth.

It is your source of alignment to self,

to God.

 

It is through the soft words of our hearts and guidance that we can be led to everything.

 

It is said,

“The heart wants what the heart wants.”

 

And that is true.

It wants your joy.

 

But you must be willing to surrender to it.

To be unveiled and willing to drop your armour and feel.

It demands us to feel all of life,

the perceived good and bad.

 

Because it is through these things that we gain clarity and certainty in what our hearts crave.

 

Clarity.

Did you hear that?

Clarity, which is key to living a f-ck yes life,

key to having the love, the money, the well being that you speak of wanting.

You can strive for it through logic all your days,

and you can touch on it here and there,

but will never be able to maintain and keep it with joy without your heart.

You will find yourself struggling.

Fighting with others and self,

feeling lost and unseen,

while you fight to avoid what your heart already knows.

And this will be your ultimate suffering.

 

Not knowing the self.

Not living from alignment.

Not feeling life move through.

 

So what do you choose beautiful?

What will it be?

 

Continuing to live by other ideas, perceptions and judgement of who you are and what you should or should do or be?

 

Continue fearing the decisions that you make and what direction is best?

 

Continue wondering if you will ever be happy?

 

Or FINALLY surrendering to your divine GPS known as your heart.

Making it the most valuable tool that God has ever given you?

 

It’s time beautiful to acknowledge your truth, your power and your joy.

 

It’s time to say F-ck Yes! to your heart.

 

And As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

 

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to make 2021 a year of living your truth?

Reach out to me to discover the path to alignment to who you really are and tapping into your power now.

TIME TO GET REAL ABOUT YOUR BEAUTY AND BODY LOVE.

“EVERYBODY IS BEAUTIFUL, NO MATTER THE SHAPE OR SIZE !! F*CK EVERYONE’S BEAUTY STANDARDS. ACCEPT YOURSELF FOR THE WAY YOU ARE DESIGNED AND EMBRACE YOUR BEAUTY  AND REMEMBER EVERYONE HAS INSECURITIES EVEN THE “OH SO HOT” SUPER MODELS. – IT’S ALMOST 2021, STOP BODY SHAMING OTHERS.“

 

This is a quote I snagged from my beloved 17 year old daughter, Juliana who has been on a body image rant on her ticktock lately.

 

She posted a pic that promptly someone asked her to take down because their boyfriend follows her… lol (because that is always a good reason to take something down right?)

 

But this little share is not about our crazy ideas that everyone in the world needs to act, look, or not share things because someone does not trust their boyfriend or girlfriend.  That would be crazy right?

 

I mean how can we get offended in this day and age about other people’s shares, opinions, or LOOKS….

 

People be posting workout pictures,

date pictures, travel pictures, baby pictures, kitten pictures ( all sorts of kitty pics…lol- yes both kinds of kitty I am speaking about) and so much more.

Why would we get our panties in a wad over someone’s picture in a swimsuit?

 

OR…

like my picture here..

in my panties and bralette.

I mean some swimsuits show less.

And just because I am a mom of seven does not mean that I “should” look or act any particular way.

And just because I am sharing rawly myself here does not mean that I am anything else then me.

 

But here we are,

in almost 2021 and we make a habit,

a proud habit at that to slut shame women,

girls, young girls at that about their sexuality.

All the while sexualizing them in all our marketing, “art,” games, television and more.

But lord help the girl or woman who is comfortable in her own skin.

( Now granted, please men who read this and say hey we get shamed too, we got body image issues too. I get it both sexes have all of it going on. But I am not a guy so I am not at liberty to speak from the heart space of a man on this topic, but I can share with you my heart as a 44 year old woman, a mother, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a lover, a coach… and that is what I aim to do.)

 

Back to it almost being 2021,

which it is.

And what are we doing? we are talking smack about ourselves and others, that’s what we are doing.

We are hating on ourselves and others.

We are being super critical, judgemental, blaming and over opinionated about OTHERS and ourselves.

But we keep our self hatred hush hush, right?

I mean no one knows how much you are hating on yourself but you, right?

I mean your world is all hunki dori and no one would guess that you got some issues with those extra curves or pounds, those wrinkles or grey hair.

 

So you have all the right to cast those stones about that chick that works across from you, right.

I mean how can she be walking into work with that thin bralette on that shows through her shirt. Those pants that creep just so so on her a*s that makes all the guys check her out…

How can she smile and make eye contact like that.

Doesn’t she know the message she is sending?

Maybe she is looking for male attention.

 

Yeah that is what is going on,

She wants the looks and comments.

She is such a slut.

 

I mean if it looks like one,

smells like one,

acts like one,

(in your opinion of what one is that is)

then it must be one.

And it’s your business to let her know what you think of her and how “bad’ and “evil” it is to be that.

She is tempting other womens men after all.

 

Shame on her.

 

And that chick over there who eats too many carbs all day and drinks all those soda’s, doesn’t she know how bad that is for her?

I mean look at her.

She is overweight.

And it’s just sick how some people let themselves go like that.

 

Or that woman, who has more kids then the old lady in the shoe.

She needs to respect herself more and learn what causes those babies. Maybe get educated or something. Bet her husband thinks he is throwing a hot dog down a hallway when they have sex.

 

Some people.

I swear.

 

Just cannot think of anything but themselves.

They don’t care what they are doing to this world and to others.

They should get that their behaviour is causing us all issues.

And stop being who they are.

 

I mean thier choices seriously f-ck up your world, your happiness, your ability to be happy, feel confident, or even have trust in your relationship right?

 

S-E-R-I-O-U-S-L-Y???????

 

If I was to have an opinion about this matter.

If I were to speak my truth on it.

And if anyone gave two cents about my opinion ( which you may or may not and you may choose to slut shame me about my pic or just make some stupid sexualization comment about it),

then my thoughts and feels on it are simple…

 

much like my kids opinion.

It’s time to stop buying into everyone else’s standards and judgements of what beauty is. On what good is. On what acceptable is for your sex, your body, your carreer, your life, YOUR HAPPINESS.

 

It’s time that we learn to respect,

ourselves and have some standards for ourselves which means to stop giving more sh*ts about everyone else’s ideas about us then what we do about what makes us US and happy at our core.

 

When we learn to love ourselves,

truly love ourselves and accept the skin we are in, the minds that we have and our hearts/emotions then we will turn a pivotal corner in human relating.

Because we will be able to have compassion and grace for being human and different.

 

Each of us were divinely engineered.

We were born worthy to have a great life.

We were born perfect.

In this skin.

 

There is always room for improvement.

We can always want to strive to become better.

But until we start to appreciate who we are RIGHT THE F-CK NOW,

then we will never see the beauty in our tomorrow self either.

 

It’s time to stand up and say,

“I AM BEAUTIFUL.”

“I AM WORTHY.”

“I AM LOVABLE.”

“I AM POWERFUL.”

 

And be confident in this skin suit that we were given.

It’s a mighty fine one,

no matter the stretch marks, the grey hairs, the wrinkles or the little extra padding….

 

Acceptance and love of self is your super power to manifest the life that you desire.

 

Realize that.

Loving yourself fills you up,

makes it where you can support, be empathetic, compassionate and loving toward others.

Acceptance of self provides us the ability to see the good in others.

To have a more loving world,

we have to start with loving ourselves.

 

It’s time beautiful to walk that beautiful a*s of yours over to the mirror and get lovin’ on yourself.

 

Cuz’ baby you are worthy.

You are beautiful.

You are brilliant.

Accept it.

YOU ARE.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Lets crank out 2021 beautiful.

Message me for deet’s on my new 2021 Body beautiful coaching programs now.

I HATE YOU… YOU EVIL PIECE OF SH*T!

I HATE YOU…. YOU EVIL PIECE OF SH*T!

 

I will show you my pain.

I will make you feel how badly you have hurt me.

I can’t believe you ever loved me.

I can’t trust you ever again.

You need to pay for what you have done.

I am broken because of you.

You owe me closure, explanations.

I want to hear it from your lips.

How dare you do this to us.

 

 

And so many other things that we say in the midst of break up and tossing our pain out there in the world at the ones that we proclaim to have loved and lost.

 

Often in break up we fall prey to the belief that we need to be a victim in the break up.

 

We want to appear the victim.

Or at least we think that we are the victim,

that we are not an active game player in the relationship destruction.

 

After all WE DID EVERYTHING POSSIBLE to make it work.

 

It is the other person’s doing that things are crashing down.

It is the other person’s fault that we are hurting, lost, angry.

We blame the other person for the chaos, the violence, the hatred.

 

And something inside of us wants the other to feel piss poor about the break up and show their pain to us, fight us, antagonize us, maybe even beg for the relationship and want us.

 

Yes we want often in relationship break up to do the most painful thing we can think,

and that is to get our partner to want us back,

to get them to see their wrongs and then we want to CRUSH THEM.

 

And if they do not stand in the fight with us then we do everything in our power to instigate their pain and anger.

We antagonize, and we fully step out of alignment with who we really are.

 

In all of these ego based reactions to break up,

we forget the most important thing in the relationship.

 

We forget the two people who love each other.

We forget our hearts.

We forget our cores.

And we hand over ALL our personal power and self- respect by acting immaturely and acting out in rage and hatred.

 

We believe that we need to show how badly we are hurting,

how much our hearts desire to be united with this other person or how much we want and need them by leaning fully into our pain bodies and stepping away from WHO WE TRULY ARE.

 

And so we become a Taylor Swift song and we slash tires, throw bricks, carve our names in furniture and cars, flatten tires, destroy our lovers property, try to deface them through slander and attempt to destroy their worlds, their relationships by letting the world know our pain.

 

We act out and we attack.

 

Whether we are the one’s doing the breaking up or the one’s getting broken up with, often at least one party if not both believe that break up can only happen if they turn the other into a persecutor and themselves into a victim.

 

But folks THIS IS NOT LOVE.

 

And if you truly ever loved someone,

if you wanted and could see a life with that person,

if you had a life blossoming with them,

if you found yourself in your heart,

expanding, growing, exploring love and relationship,

and you want to do so much good for that person and for yourself then WHY do you want to dishonor the relationship, yourself, them and most importantly LOVE in this fashion of becoming a victim?

 

Emotional maturity in relationship is a powerful tool,

no matter the events occuring in the relationship.

If we have a strong standing in who we are as individuals and if we truly have self- love and respect then we may feel the anger, the pain but having emotional maturity and respect for self and for the love will guide us. We will also be able to see our role in the relationship break up.

 

Because there are no such things as victims in a relationship break up. Even in the worst break ups, where physical violence has occured ( and I have had this happen in my lifetime) we each play a role. We are active participants in the events that are happening to us.

 

Emotional maturity, spiritual maturity, maturity in general is about taking responsibility for self.

 

If you think you did not have that coming….

Think again love.

You are a co-manifestor to your reality.

You are an active creator to your life.

Your thoughts.

Your fears.

Your actions.

Your lack of knowing yourself and upholding who you are,

not doing your own internal work and getting right with YOU,

loving you unconditionally, accepting you unconditionally, lying to yourself and using your partner and others, life as a mask to your own internal issues,

 

PLAYED A MF BIG A*S ROLE IN THIS MOMENT.

In your pain.

 

The reality is this love…..

 

Break ups MUST happen in relationships that are OUT OF ALIGNMENT with the people who are in the relationship.

 

Relationships have expiration dates.

 

A reason.

A season.

A lifetime.

 

Even the lifetime one’s come to a physical end.

The sooner we humans get right with the fact that all relationships end, the better our relationships can be. The more fulfilling, loving and the more harmonious our breakups can be.

 

Imagine ending a relationship in love instead of hatred and pain?

 

Imagine two people loving themselves so much so that their love for each other and the relationship allowed them to end it in love as well.

 

In honor.

In respect.

And did not mean that they needed to destroy the other to prove their love.

 

Because destroying the other IS NOT LOVE.

It is ego.

And it is not love to self or honor of self either.

It is fear.

It is not soul based.

It is ego based and immature.

 

But instead imagine realizing that the relationship has served its time and purpose, finding gratitude for all this it taught you, openned you up too, brought into your life and helped you gain clarity around.

Imagine being in love with the time and lessons that were shared.

And knowing that its expiration was upon your doorstep, but that it did not  mean that you had to be in pain or anger.

Instead that you could love this other person and yourself so much that you could let go and move forward in confidence that all things happen for a reason.

 

This is love.

And ending relationship in love uplifts both parties.

Ending relationships in love supports the lives and future relationships of both parties.

Ending relationship in love expands who we are,

heals us, opens us and is one of the greatest gifts that we can offer OURSELVES.

 

Imagine this relationship break up and ask yourself today,

How mature am I my relationships?

Do I take responsibility for myself in them?

Do I truly act from love or do I let my ego get in the way and become a victim?

 

And As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Ready to elevate your love and life in 2021?

 

Ready to call in that soul aligned relationship that you cannot see past?

 

Let’s get you aligned to your core love.

 

Reach out to me for information on my 1:1 and group coaching programs starting in January 2021 and the early bird discounts for those coming later this month.

Why Gratitude for 2020 & You.

SO MUCH GRATITUDE…
==========
SO MUCH LOVE…
———-
2020 has been the year where I am reminded that life is not prejudice.
Life does not look at us humans and say you are more deserving or less deserving of anything.
Good or bad,
no matter how we may perceive the story of what we are living,
life does not care.
Life just is.
Life just corrisponds to our energy,
to our emotions, our fears, our thoughts and even in the midst of that,
sometimes shit happens to good people.
Life brings with it a deep suffering until we learn how to let go and let God.
Until we release our need to try and control any situation,
because all situations are out of our control in truth.
The truth of anything is subjective depending on whom is looking at it and how they choose to feel about it.
Life pushes us to reach our limits with strength,
in our courage and in our faith.
Life expands us past the containers we understand to be love and into greater vessels where we learn to hold even more by accessing our core selves and embracing them fully.
When we do this something miraculous happens,
something unexpected happens,
we find reinforcement from something outside of ourselves,
a knowing that there is so much more then what we perceive.
2020 has been the greatest of teachers in this for many people of our world.
It has brought us to our knees,
it has made us question our health policies and organizations,
it has made us examine our world leaders,
and it has shown a light of the illness that still plauges our beautiful home lands.
Life is not prejudice even though we people are often,
and more so then prejudice,
we humans are fickle AF!
We are fickle in everything we live for and desire.
We are fickle in our love,
in our wantings,
we are fickle with our beliefs and our truth.
we will stand and look someone in the eye and tell them that we are there for them,
and when they do not do as we desire we shun and persicute.
We fall in and out of love like we change our under garments.
We change our beliefs, our ideas and our feelings just as quickly,
wagering them on how we feel we should appear to be accepted,
to gain the connection, the support or appreciation that we desire.
And here we fall prey to the human condition of not standing rock solid in our core.
Not knowing whom we are as a person.
And not KNOWING that there is so much more out there for us.
We each were born worthy,
there is nothing more for us to do.
You never become unworthy.
You just choose to hide from your beauty,
to hide from your truth and knowing that God is always there.
That miracles can happen and that they should be expected.
2020 is a year where so many people have lived in fear and shut down.
A year that many are eager to have pass in hopes that 2021 will not say,
“Hold my bear 2020.”
———-
2020 has certainly taken its toll on my family.
It has brought with it pain, suffering, heart pounding moments of fear and agony.
Events that none would ever have believed possible have occured,
and yet in the same turn it has brought with it a beauty,
a stillness and a rendering of the soul that is breathtaking.
Love has been found,
deep wounds have been healed,
spiritual connections of lifetimes past have been reunited,
there is a dance of beauty amidst the suffering and pain.
And I am reminded each day as I light a candle for my grandson who remains in critical care, and as I sit in meditation and breathe in the cool autumn breezes and ponder the darkness of some peoples souls,
that my pondering of the darkness,
my fear over a loss,
that my pain as a mother who can do nothing to but sit in silence and hold space for her daughter, for her son-in-law and for her granbaby that my suffering,
their suffering has a purpose.
The anger that surges through me in moments.
The fear of what tomorrow brings,
the agony of that and so much more is beyond measuring some days,
and yet…
here in this moment of 2020,
where I never thought this nor the other sufferings of the year that have come could ever be so,
I find myself breathing in and turning it all over.
Because what can any of us do but surrender to life in these moments and know that in our surrender,
where we have met the edge of our strength and our courage that this is the space for something magnificent to occur.
This is the space where if we can get out of our own way,
and do so in deep love and certainty,
that we create the space for miracles.
THERE IS SO MUCH MORE LIGHT THAN DARKNESS IN OUR WORLD.
Our only challenege is that we humans choose to focus in on the shadows,
we choose to bring attention and power to everything that we fear and do not want for.
We spend more time focusing, nightmaring and emotionalizing the darkness then we do the light.
Many people have come to me the last month and asked me how I was doing with everything happening with my eldest two daughters and thier families and the recent break-up of myself and my three year relationship.
My truth is such,
I am at peace.
I am in love.
I am elated.
Despite the suffering and pain,
the fear and the anger.
My core knows its truth.
And that the truth of my core is that the ONLY THING ANY OF US CAN DO IS STAY ALIGNED TO SOUL.
Stay aligned to God.
To Source.
Because when we do this we will feel peace and love and we can then hold loving unconditional space for those in our lives and in this world.
When we feel anything outside of love and peace,
joy and happiness,
it is a sign that we are not aligned to who we really are and that we are focused on ill perceptions of the truth instead of what could be.
Miracles happen when we believe that our reality can shift and that we are worthy of that shift.
This Thanksgiving I encourage you to look at your life,
to look at this world and ask yourself where you are being a victim?
Where are you choosing to view life in darkness instead of light?
Where are you stomping your feet and pounding your fists with a concept that it is not fair and that you had nothing to do with the suffering that may be upon you?
And realize this….
YOU PLAY A MAJOR ROLE.
In EVERYTHING.
There are no victims,
we are all volunteers,
no matter how dark the day may seem,
you have a choice to get your thoughts and emotions aligned TODAY to what you truly desire.
Aligned to happiness.
And it starts with GRATITUDE and RESPONSIBILITY.
What do you choose to focus on.
In loving gratitude to 2020 and to you my sweet follower for today,
for your soul lighting up this planet at this time in our history and for your beautiful heart that you choose to share with those in your life.
Happy Thanksgiving!
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
— Lets crank out 2021 in a spectacular way.
Reach out to me about abundance minset and life coaching for next year today.
Let’s make 2021 a F-ck Yes! Year.