How Does Your Garden Grow Baby?

I like to move it…
move it…
 
I like to move it, move it…
 
I really do.
I like to move it,
until I don’t like to move it no more.
I push,
I run,
I jump,
I leap forward without thinking often.
My SOUL just get’s a hold of me and blurts stuff out and I am like,
“Well, I guess that is what we are doing now.”
 
And then once cast out there into the sea of the universe for all to hear and see,
and for God to deliver back to me,
I sometimes loose my luster and joy for it.
I sometimes go,
“Well, F-ck! I am just not feeling it now.”
 
And so I start to procrastinate.
I start to change my focus to something else.
I feel that the splash of passion that I had in that moment of alignment,
is gone.
 
And I feel constriction.
I might even feel a low grade sadness.
You could say depression even.
And I count myself lazy AF.
And then the fear kicks in even more so,
it kicks in because now what was just a mood of not feelin’ it in that moment has turned into me becoming certain that I am not good enough,
that I am to lazy to make it happen,
don’t really know what I am doing,
that what I am doing is a bad idea and that no one even want’s it.
 
And once taken hold,
this thought,
this fear it steals the fire right out of who I am at my core,
it steals the passion from feeling good,
from making it happen.
And in turn it applies all that passion,
all that focus onto what I fear the most.
 
The not happening of it.
The lack of moving it.
The lack of not getting,
and I step fully into scarcity.
Here then is where my passion is focused.
Here is where I am applying myself,
and here is what happens…
 
I GET EXACTLY WHAT I AM FOCUSED ON.
 
I get exactly what I am applying myself too.
 
I get exactly what I am putting my passion toward.
 
I am a MOFO Amazing manifestor!
 
Can you relate beautiful?
 
I bet you can.
We all do this.
The question comes as to what extent we manifest our fears vs. our dreams.
 
Those of us who get it,
like you and I, we know our power.
We know our strength,
and we BELIEVE.
 
That’s what makes us unique.
We are not blind.
With this sight of knowing though,
it’s all the more important for us to pay attention,
to do our inner work,
to listen the eff to our SOUL,
and to get into alignment with it.
 
It’s important because we have this thing,
this thing called our message.
It’s what we cannot, not do in this life if we are to feel complete.
 
It is our ART.
 
You have it beautiful.
You feel it at your SOUL.
And you know.
I know you know that you MUST,
you must do this THING.
And the only thing holding you back beautiful,
is this focus gig you got goin’ on.
It’s time that you accept your power beautiful.
It’s time that you realize once and for all that you are pulling yourself under the currents of restriction,
you are the ONLY ONE not allowing yourself to have all that you want.
And you are doing it by applying yourself to that, that you fear.
By having more passion toward what you do not want,
then what you desire with your heart and soul.
 
You are a powerful manifestor BABY.
 
And because of your power,
you create so quickly.
You know you do.
The evidence is all around you.
And your focus is intense.
 
Yes beautiful,
you know who you are.
It’s time for you to EMBRACE YOUR POWER.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
JOIN ME for 5 – weeks of Embracing Your Power NOW!
 
It’s f-cking AMAZING to be able to say that you live life the way you want to.
 
It’s f-cking AMAZING to be able to look into someone’s eye’s and just drop down into your body and show up however you may feel, without any fear of being accepted or not.
 
It’s f-cking AMAZING to embrace your gift’s and talents and experience God/Universe supporting you in your commitment to soul alignment.
 
It’s f-cking AMAZING to wake up and to feel proud of yourself for the decisions that you have made and for the results that life is giving you because of them.
THIS IS MY LIFE.
Can you say the same of your’s?
Do you live like this?
How would you describe your life?
Are you a .01%er person who COMMANDS in your life experience and blessing or do you just settle in and let life wash over you however it feels?
Do you look for opportunities to grow, expand and heal or do you surrender yourself to blame, guild, shame and regret?
What is your norm?
 
Your Manifesting Power NOW!

It’s All About You Being Turned On BABY!

Turn it on BABY!
 
You can do it.
No matter what is happening.
No matter the storms that may be in your midst,
no matter what you fear,
what worries you and is scratching at your heals.
 
Turn it on BABY!
 
That’s where your power comes from.
That’s where the shift occurs.
That’s how you create the momentum.
 
It’s all about you TURNING IT ON.
 
This life of yours,
it’s your SHOW.
It’s all about you becoming you.
Learning you,
and you SHINE.
 
Those fears and doubts,
those worries that block you up and make you stumble,
that is not you baby.
That is but only your resistance to who you are.
That void that you feel rising up at times that trouble,
that void is only the separation between who you are allowing yourself to be and your SOUL.
 
Your TRUTH.
 
So TURN IT ON!
 
Because BABY,
You see when you turn on that light within,
when you tap into that powerhouse of energy,
when you let your SOUL SHINE,
you are truly UNSTOPPABLE.
 
You are a force in nature that cannot be shut down,
your heart,
your soul,
your beauty,
it is magnetic, true and divine.
And this baby,
this is who you are.
You have got to know,
you have just got t o know…
 
That feeling that resides,
deep within your CORE,
that voice inside,
that speaks those words,
they scare you because of their power,
they scare you because you doubt your worthiness,
but you KNOW.
 
Your desire is what keeps you coming back.
Your desire to feel this feeling.
This beautiful,
breathtaking feeling of your SURRENDER.
 
And what are you surrendering too baby?
 
To SELF.
To SOUL.
To that feeling.
 
And oh, how it washes over you,
like the breath of a lover,
your flesh ignites,
your heart pulse increases,
you feel flushes,
and excited.
You want to open to it,
you know you do.
Despite your fear….
 
You desire.
 
Desire this SURRENDER.
And so you must,
you must simply TURN IT ON.
 
But how do you turn on this light?
How do you just let go and allow all that you want to move through you?
How to surrender to your desire,
your dreams,
your POWER?
 
Simple, baby….
it’s about letting go of the reigns of control.
It’s about letting go of that which is so logical.
It’s about stepping into your messiness,
your chaos,
your creative vibe.
It’s about playing.
Laughing.
Being turned on to life.
And it’s about no longer doubting WHO YOU ARE.
 
Because baby,
you are magnificent.
You are powerful,
you are more than you can imagine.
And you are unstoppable.
 
But baby,
you know what you must do…
It’s the work of JUST DOING.
It’s doing that DAMN THING.
The THING that you fear the most.
Yes that THING…
and that thing is what is holding you back,
so let go baby,
and do the damn thing,
open up,
surrender to everything that you want my dear.
 
If you could only see,
that what you want,
wants you too,
and it there,
RIGHT THERE,
on the other side of your resistance.
 
It is there on the other side of the curtain that you are holding up,
blinding you from the life that you so badly want.
It is there.
But you must put your fears and doubts down.
You must allow yourself to FEEL.
You must surrender to your pleasure,
your TURN ON,
your WANTING of it.
And turn away from your fear of not having.
 
Yes BABY,
this is the thing,
the thing that you must do to have it all.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living – GET TURNED ON!
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believer”

The Power of the Sensual Feminine in Her Wild Woman State.

To all the ladies in the house….
To all you mama’s,
you grandmama’s,
you sexy, confident queen’s.
 
Today I share from my feminine sensual heart to you directly.
Today I speak to that turned on,
ignited,
passionate woman who know’s who she is at her core and who know’s her worthiness to receive the riches of this life she is living.
 
Yes YOU Beautiful!
 
Woman to woman,
lets get real.
Let’s talk about the embracing of our sensual feminine and how beautifully powerful this is,
how scary as f-ck it can be,
and some about the shaming and misinterpretations of what it all means and how it is perceived.
 
Many a moon ago, I was reading the book Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. If you are unfamiliar with this book it is stories and myths of the wild woman archetype, I was in my early twenties, living in Seattle with my husband then. I was in the middle of my second pregnancy. I was feeling trapped, fatigued, lost in myself. I would look in the mirror at my ever changing body and hate what I saw but at the same time appreciate the power of my womb. I loved being a mother, but disliked the then assumed fact that I had lost my sexiness. I had lost my feminine sensuousness and appeal.
 
No matter how much my husband tried to affirm my beauty,
his desire or anything else,
I could not hear him because what the world showed me and I had been taught from my own mother was that motherhood was far from sexy and being a mother meant that you had to put away your desire of anything such. Reserve it for a random few times a month at best, in the dark, and without too much noise because the children must not know of pleasure or intimacy or their mother’s desire to be ignited.
 
This hiding from who I was at my core,
destroyed my self-esteem. It captured my soul and prevented me from speaking my truth in any area of my life and I felt shame anytime I received a compliment or a flirty smile or look from a man. I could not even play sensually with my spouse without feeling guilt over accidentally being seen.
 
What would people think?
I must be being a bad mother example if I let this aspect of myself out.
 
So here I was with this wild woman resting within me,
wanting to be revealed but fearing the loss of everything that felt suffocating but strangely comfortable and safe, should I let her dance the way she wanted.
 
At my soul core I KNEW that if I were to truly be who I was unapologetically that the world would not support. That the feminine itself would want to burn me at the stake and the masculine would want to try and domesticate with control.
 
I knew that if I revealed my sensual,
that if I allowed my voice to sing,
my feet to dance,
my skirts to twirl and my pleasure to be seen that the radiance would call in the darkest of armies to slash at it and cast stones to quiet its truth. Yet, this wild woman within, she was so hungry, she was fierce in her desire to be unmasked, unchained.
 
And as the years passed, I would experiment with the loosening of her leash.
 
To my dismay,
there I was a decade later,
now with five children I was raising,
living in Dallas,
coming out of a two+ year deep depression and total give up of life and power,
looking at my life and seeing this wild woman at the end of her rope,
still fierce and full of vitality,
she was straining in her fight for not her life but MINE.
She was committed to not let me go any longer in my suffering,
and she broke free of her chains.
 
As the chains dropped to the earth, she slowly regained her balance and at first treaded with caution the waters of the life that I had created in fear of being seen and heard. Focused and determined though was she to breathe life back into my sails, and teach me of this radiance that I was worthy of.
 
Unleashed she opened me to the bliss of joy,
the power of laughter and authentic connection.
She unwound the ropes that held me hostage of living in integrity, the misguided ideas of always aiming for perfection and the pleasing of everyone else.
 
The wild woman brought to me the mirror of self-compassion and as I viewed it and stepped into all the places that I had chosen to abandon her and myself, I was brought into the dance of forgiveness. With each step of deep healing work I found myself learning myself,
perhaps for the very first time,
but a learning that it was never expected of me to be superhuman. It was never expected of me to hide my light,
my voice, my heart from this world and most especially from my children or self.
 
As I moved further into the embrace of the wild woman,
I discovered that her rage that she could move passionately into was not a rage of evil to fear but it was her wanting to purify the untruth that had been dumped on me at youth and supported by my belief in it.
 
Her pain that she expressed in my darkest hours of not listening, was not evil or lost, it was pain that was begging for the embrace of love. Not a love that could be given from anyone other than self.
 
With each step on this new journey of the wild woman,
I discovered that this archetype was there to teach me not to fear my sensual feminine but to embrace it as the life giving, creative energy that it was intended to be.
 
The rapes and abuse that was once perceived to be caused by the revealing of the sensual feminine was not that at all, but instead the allowance of my shame and guilt that attempted to make this energy docile and weak. Because it was feared by my veil to my truth and perceived dangerous.
 
Another decade has be lived and two more babies born since this unchaining has occurred and with in many more lessons of self- expansion has happened. Some may view some of these lessons as traumatic and even myself in the moments of experience would agree,
some moments were breathtaking as I was blessed to bask in the presence of the divine you could say.
 
Moments of allowing the wild woman to embrace me during deep expanding sex, where my heart exploded and the smell of roses would waft up from the moments of soul union and intimacy.
 
Blessed was I as I let her take the lead a bit further in my life.
Blessed because I learned that love although sometimes a pain that can not be touched by any other, is still the blessing that God wants us to know we are worthy of.
 
Blessed because she lead me with this fierce love to a deeper level of self knowing and an encouragement to open up to the sensual energy of play.
 
Blessed because she removed more veils in her dance,
allowing me to see clearer with each passing year,
that the wild woman that I once feared was the a warrior angel who always believed in my worthiness and heart.
 
Her leading steps,
her powerful emotion,
her dedication to my reveal,
was the breath that God and spirit had sent to me,
to claim my truth as the sensual feminine.
Though some still perceive it as dangerous.
And some view it with disgust as they call out in their poisonous toned words of shame, anger and fear of the unknown.
 
The thing that I have learned from her that I cherish the most,
is that all the bile that others may throw comes not from who I am or what they perceive me to be but is instead is the venom that they poison themselves with because they fear WHOM THEY COULD BE.
 
The disgust that one may cast toward another is only a mirror reflection of how they feel about themselves.
 
 
And so beautiful mama,
grandmama and mama in waiting.
No matter where you are in this dance called life,
know that you too are born to be wild,
born to be sensual,
to be wise and strong,
to be love,
and to be seen and heard.
 
That face,
that soul and that voice.
Has a message for this world.
But the message that the world has been blessed to give to you is that God wants you to CLAIM WHO YOU ARE.
 
Never hide or lower your eye’s to those who speak tongues of evil no mater how pretty their faith may appear, or their words sound.
 
You beautiful mama are a queen.
You hold within you the seeds of the universe,
the energy of creation,
the power of life.
 
May you take today’s message and feel your strength,
not in your shield of fear,
but in that crown that is upon your head and power of your sensual feminine.
 
Dance Beautiful Wild Woman.
Dance Beautiful Mama.
Dance and let your Joy Be Seen.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living.
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
 
We start in a little over a week!
Will you be embracing your Unstoppable Power this summer?
 
Join myself and tribe of beautiful queens as we pick up our crowns and make it our time to fly.
 
Section One 4 weeks: Owning Your Power
No More Good Girl Holdbacks!
Let Go, Let Go, Allow!
Letting Go of Perfectionism, Activating Authenticity
Desire is my GPS.
 
Section Two 4 week: Lifestyle Design
No More Dry P*ssy Face.
Increased Pleasure Threshold
Comfort to Miracles
Manifesting with Ease & Grace
 
Section Three 4 weeks: Money, Sex & Men
Knowing Your Abundance Key’s
Saying Yes to Your Orgasm ( In life and the bedroom)
Men Are Just Desserts
Manifesting Your Unstoppable Power
 
Grab you spot Today!
Early Bird Saving Still Apply.
Six 1:1 sessions with me plus 12 weeks of unstoppable power activation.
 

Your Unstoppable Superpower to Manifesting ANYTHING You Want.

It’s Your time baby!
You know that it is.
You can feel it,
can’t you.
There is a different vibration moving through these days.
Not much has changed yet on the outside.
No one even notices.
But, YOU.
 
You BABE…
You feel a difference deep within.
It’s a core thing.
It’s a focus thing.
It feels like the fizzle of a freshly opened champagne bottle.
It bubbly,
it fun.
You cannot help but glow.
 
Yes it’s your time baby!
Time to fly!
Time to spread those wings and embrace who you are with certainty and confidence.
There is no going back from here beautiful.
And you love that!
 
You can feel the passion within your SOUL.
 
That emotion is focused on it’s target and it is hungry to make shiz happen.
It will not settle until you open to it fully.
And make your intention of your desire known.
 
It’s exciting, right!
It’s just so damn exciting.
I can feel you all the way over here.
That giddy school girl that you are trying to hide,
like she has just felt her first kiss.
But there is no hiding this feeling.
There is no denying that you are at take off.
Your wings have already lifted you up so high,
you may not yet feel it in any tangible way,
but lift off has occurred beautiful.
 
And now all you have to do is stay focused.
Keep your heart,
your soul,
in alignment to this feeling.
 
This feeling,
this PASSION,
It’s your SUPERPOWER.
 
It’s what magnetizes EVERYTHING to you.
So take heed as to how you use it beautiful.
That passion you are tapping into,
you are the deciding factor as to if it will be used for good or evil in your life.
 
It is up to ONLY YOU.
There is no other that you can point a finger at,
no other that can hold responsibility.
 
If you still feel bondage,
if you still suffer at times from a fear, doubt, fatigue, anxiety, scarcity, NOT HAVING….
 
That is just your SOUL and this abundant universe of ours confirming just how effing POWERFUL you are.
 
Because you applied your PASSION to those things.
You woke every day and searched them out.
You sat there in worry and fear.
And you snuggled them at your breast.
That is why they visit you beautiful.
You called to them.
You were passionate with them.
 
And NOW…
Now, you are taking your divine a*s and this superpower over to the other side,
the side where you use that same passion and focus to call in your LOVE, dreams, fun, joy, well-being, MONEY, sex, FREEDOM!
 
Now, you know.
where you have been going about your desires and dreams all wrong. Sorta Bass Ackwards…
 
But it is okay beautiful.
 
Because if you stop a moment and look at everything that you have focused on and how quickly that stuff came into manifestation,
you can embrace your Unstoppable Power!
 
And THAT beautiful is where YOU FLY!
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
Coaching for Grown A*s Believers
 
Hurry and grab this Launch Special of a $500 savings now.
 
I know that you may be scared.
I have been in those shoes before all too many time.
But that fear is not going to stop you.
You are powerful.
Introducing 12- weeks of “Unstoppable Power – It’s My Time To Fly!”
This is a once in a life time to work with me 1:1 from anywhere in the world.
If you are a man or a woman who is looking for a powerful game-changing opportunity to claim the life that you desire in FAITH and learn how you can access your dreams quickly by releasing old programs based in fear and shame around your worthiness, joy and abundance then this 12-weeks is for you.
Stop letting everything be an excuse!
You deserve better than those reasons you have to stay trapped in your comfort bubble of suffering.
Let’s level up your life over summer.
Message me for deet’s or leave a comment here.

Learn More 

The Pendulum of Your Momentum Is Based In Your KNOWING.

It feels so great when at your core you KNOW,
not just think,
not just feel good,
but KNOW….
 
You know that feeling of knowing.
Knowing that it will happen.
Knowing that you have come through the toughest portion of something,
Knowing that it is down hill from here.
That you avoided being taken over by your fears,
Your doubts and that you GOT THIS THING.
 
It’s the THING that your SOUL cannot let you let go of.
It’s the THING that keeps you walking your path.
It’s the THING that scares the utter shiz out of you but also makes your feel more alive than anything else.
YES that THING.
 
And Now,
NOW you just KNOW.
You KNOW that you have it at your finger tips.
You can feel the shift of the momentum.
The pendulum was swinging the opposite direction before,
It use to feel like everything was wagered against you,
that you had no luck,
that your guardian angels all went to the bar and forgot about you or are laughing at your illusions of grandeur.
But NOW…..
 
Now there is something different going on.
You feel that beautiful.
That feeling of excitement.
That feeling of champagne bubbles in your gut,
that creative flow that is just lingering,
begging for you to play with it some more.
That feeling of joy.
That smile that you cannot let go of.
That giggle,
that tone change in your voice.
 
Yes YOU.
You are walking different now.
You are speaking different now.
You are showing up in your life with PURPOSE again.
 
It’s sort of like you rediscovered yourself.
 
Right?
 
I know.
I can feel it too beautiful.
You are radiant.
You are glowing.
Your turn on for all that you can give this world.
and for how life just simply LOVES you….
 
It’s all over you.
 
And it is your KNOWING,
that is causing it.
 
It is your passion,
It is your playfulness,
it is that radiant joy.
 
Yes that is the KNOWING.
It has been buried and hidden within your fear,
it has been covered by all the muck that you picked up on your journey,
those things that meant nothing,
but you chose to focus on anyway.
Yes you know the things.
 
Those very things,
they stole your momentum.
They took from you your joy.
They tossed you down another path.
And that path was comfortable,
was it not?
It felt familiar.
It felt like you had strolled there once before.
But as you walked it a bit,
your comfort in it reminded you of the suffering that it brought to you as well.
It was a path that was based on comfort,
based on average and ordinary.
It was your old path.
And old version of you.
 
But Beautiful you are far from that version anymore,
you no longer need to hide,
to fear or doubt.
and you KNOW this.
 
So here you are.
Feeling,
feeling confident and passionate,
tapping into your joy and play,
discovering a deeper version of who you are meant to be,
and reaching into yourself,
tapping into that SOUL that guides you.
Here you are,
facing your fear.
And instead standing in your KNOWING.
 
You got this!
 
Yes in deed you do.
So set aside anything that says else wise.
Keep your pendulum swinging into your abundance.
Keep it tilted to your SOUL alignment.
Listen to what your CORE says.
 
Here is where your momentum resides.
Here is where you gain your energy.
It’s all about YOU TAPPING IN.
And LETTING GO.
 
Yes you got this
Breathe beautiful.
Breathe it in and stay true.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
I know that you may be scared.
I have been in those shoes before all too many time.
But that fear is not going to stop you.
You are powerful.
Introducing 12- weeks of “Unstoppable Power – It’s My Time To Fly!”
This is a once in a life time to work with me 1:1 from anywhere in the world.
If you are a man or a woman who is looking for a powerful game-changing opportunity to claim the life that you desire in FAITH and learn how you can access your dreams quickly by releasing old programs based in fear and shame around your worthiness, joy and abundance then this 12-weeks is for you.
Stop letting everything be an excuse!
You deserve better than those reasons you have to stay trapped in your comfort bubble of suffering.
Let’s level up your life over summer.
Message me for deet’s or leave a comment here.

Your SOUL Craves Gourmet Sex and So Does Your Abundance.

The more gourmet sex I have the less I make my bed.
 
It is so vitally important to have gourmet sexual experiences,
not just a bunch of sex.
 
That low vibe,
high friction,
empty,
fast food sex is simply not even worth the time it takes to get undressed.
 
And it most certainly does not feed your soul.
 
It does not drop you into your core, your primal sexual creative energy where many great visionaries, leaders, game changers of all time have spoken of accessing for life success.
 
It is not the sexual encounters documented in Song of Solomon in the bible either.
 
That sort of encounter,
that sort of divine,
touching the big toe of God experience happens only when you tap into your SOUL.
 
Which is a SOUL of SEX.
 
As Thomas Moore states in his book on this very topic,
“In sex an inner life of strong emotions and vivid fantasies meet with a real person to create a moment of exceptional intensity when life is full and reason is dim…
 
But it is the soul, and not some inanimate body, that feels the hunger and can’t resist the appetite.”
 
This appetite that is spoken of here and in Solomon is the hunger for life. The desire that even Jesus spoke of to be fully entwined with the creator.
 
With God.
 
Sex is soul food.
It is a vital nutrient to our human condition,
allowing us to gain access to higher realms of understanding and feeling,
where we become limitless in our manifestation possibilities.
 
However, in order to tap into this storehouse of magic and possibilities one must STOP settling for fast food sex and in turn DEMAND gourmet sexing.
 
Gourmet sexing,
takes one away from the linear mindset,
out of the monkey brain, where we desire for control instead of freedom.
 
Gourmet sexing is about tapping into our already full state of being and opening into our true spiritual power.
 
This is where we command in our blessings.
When we allow our soul the expression of gourmet sex,
in its craving of these blissful excursions,
we experience a separate reality,
where we tap into the mystery of being human.
 
Here in this enticing altered state of being and awareness, the SOUL discovers many truths about life, love, our partners, selves and God. This expanded understanding of sex ignites our manifestation capabilities and provides us the complexity and satisfying fulfillment of what being HUMAN can offer.
 
The details of what one once found important,
the fears,
concerns and doubts around our lives experiences,
the responsibilities that we take on to hide our truth and power,
all are washed away through gourmet sexing.
 
And are replaced with compassion,
a deep desire of authenticity,
passion, joy and connection.
 
In this altered state of a sexing we discover WHO WE ARE.
 
I can share from a very intimate note that when we tap into this way of sexing and living we impact all of life. The ripple effect from each who chooses the enlightened path of sex and the soul expression that is was designed to be end up being a healing agent in this ill world.
 
Now I call on you beautiful to inquire about how you choose to view your sex.
 
I ask you do you identify with the desire that your SOUL has to be expressed?
 
Do you cherish and respect the power of your orgasm?
And the greatness that it can offer you in your manifestation for a life of richness, abundance and freedom?
 
Or is your sex more equivalent of washing your hands or making your bed, where it has little meaning or depth and you cannot fathom such richness and power coming from what you perceive as friction based activity that serves for the reproduction or stress release?
 
Curious about the Soul of Your Sex?
 
Let me share with you almost 30 years of education, training and enlightened study on this topic and how it can NOT ONLY change your bedroom life but also your ABUNDANCE.
 
Message me about elite coaching now.
 
As Always, Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

TRAUMA GREW MY ROSE GARDEN AND GRATITUDE WATERS IT.

TRAUMA GREW MY ROSE GARDEN AND GRATITUDE WATERS IT.

Today is a really interesting day for me.
It marks my one year of one of the most traumatic events I have had happen in a relationship so far. It also marks my one year of a massive transformation period, new growth and opportunity blended with trauma and needed healing.

Today I sit here at Starbucks after dropping my youngest son off to his father ( the man I fell out of relationship a year ago today).
It was brutal to drop him off today.
My heart actually still hurts from this mornings exchange.

Our son age four, ran to the back seat of my car as we pulled into daddy’s driveway and he screamed, “I don’t want to go to daddy’s house.” he got so frustrated, clung to the rear seat with all the force his little body could muster and screamed, “No Mommy.”

I grabbed him up, hugged him. Told him that I loved him and that I would see him later today and then he would be back at mommy’s house on Wednesday. He clung to my neck and fought profusely to hold on to me as his father took him out of my arms.

I never wanted any of this for my baby.
I don’t believe that any of us parents ever want this sort of emotional pain on our children. I don’t believe that my ex desires this trauma to come up on our son either.
And yet it still falls here.

Today, I find myself sitting here upset at my son’s pain.
Wishing I could do more for him.
Wishing that us adults who have brought this on him could have communicated better about what we wanted from each other and how we wanted out of our relationship before it came to violence as it did and a nasty, terrorizing breakup that will last a life time for our children emotionally not to mention the physical repercussions that are still being dealt with for myself.

I sit here still wondering how I could not have realized more so as to where my ex was at.
Wondering why he had to act out in violence and rage the way he did one year ago today.
Why it was so important for him to push me and all the children away with such extreme measures.
Why could he just not simply say that he wanted out and we move onto separate paths in peace and harmony, working together for the greatest good of all the children and each other.

I knew he was unhappy in our relationship.
I knew he wanted out.
He did not even desire to want to spend 30 minutes a week with me alone even though this had become a consistent request and desire of mine. He could not stomach to sit by me and watch TV, he wanted nothing to do with cuddling or sex that was two sided, only wanted to get off and be done. Would roll away in disgust after pushing me away like trash after he had reached climax.
He became rageful with friends and emotionally and physically aggressive toward his step-children. He was hateful and I told myself that he was stressed about work, money, health, anything but the truth was what I proclaimed.

The signs were there.
They were in front of my blind eyes and desire to make it all work for us.
The more committed I became to our relationship and requested time and connection,
the more he pushed away in anger.

And now,
a year later I see the truth.
I see his pattern that he had to enforce.
I see the pain that he must be in.
And I am grateful that even though that was a brutal time and experience,
even though there is still much healing that needs done for self and children.

I am grateful that I never lost who I was,
I never lost love,
I never lost my family or friends,
and I can do the healing and I understand at a deep level the power of emotions,
the importance of knowing self and NOT hiding from myself and feelings.
I am grateful that I was given a powerful opportunity last year to stand up and be 100% me.
The last year has offered me so many blessings that would have never come about had he not caved to his patterns and needs to push love away, to push so hard that he was the one to be abandoned in the experience by everyone. To repeat the trauma from his youth. And to create an experience that supported his belief that the feminine always leaves him.

I see now how he had to push that hard.
I am too stubborn to leave when I still love.
I believed it could be fixed,
I believed that he was not lying when he said that he loved me more than anyone else.
I strangely believed in us and in him.

But today,
today I stand in gratitude for the 7 years of learning,
of experience and growth,
for the birth of my two youngest angels that i would not trade for anything.

Today I stand here in gratitude for his push.
Busted up body and everything,
it was worth it.
Because I found my true strength.
I found my heart.
My SOUL.
And tapped into allowing myself, to be me without needing another.
There is great beauty in the darkest of clouds if you allow yourself to see it and you allow time to step you back far enough to see the whole sky and it’s beauty.

Life is one BIG TRUST EXERCISE.
And today,
I am reminded of the trust and faith that I had to muster up at one of my lowest, scariest points in life so far.
Today, I choose to focus on that reminder.
To focus on the gratitude and the opportunities that have come from this event, like any event in our lives.
Today I choose to look at my blessed life.
The steady massive love that I experience from family, friends and the wonderful man I have in my life currently.
The AMAZING tribe that I have developed and all the growth that I am seeing in my business and life.
The wealth of connection, joy and the laughter that resides in my home daily that was not there a year ago or before.
My creativity at an all time high.
The beauty and bounty that is in each step on this journey.

Today I want to say THANK YOU to the man that tossed me to the side last year, who tried to destroy me and all that we had built together.
From that rubble grew a rose garden.

MY ROSE GARDEN.

Thank you for my pain.
Thank you for my suffering.
Thank you for the trauma.
Thank you for the goodbye.
I am so effing happy with my life TODAY!

My question to you that I share this with today is,
what are you doing with your trauma, drama and pain? Does it hold you back or build you up?

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

It’s time that you start to say YES to the most important person in the room beautiful. It’s time that you accept your worth, and step onto this path that your SOUL is calling you too.

I know how hard the steps may appear.
I know that you are fearful, that you doubt if you have what it takes to make this shiz happen for you or not.

But I promise you that YOU can do it.
You can have it.The first step though is to recognize that you must let go and have faith in your process of getting there.

Listen to your SOUL and follow it’s lead.

Imagine having a coach who has been on a similar path guide you, help you discover the deeper meanings of what soul is wanting you to know.

What would it feel like to have that sort of support and guidance?

You can have this.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Private mentoring and coaching today.

GO IN EASE – RESISTANCE IN FUTILE.

GO IN EASE – RESISTANCE IS FUTILE
 
You hold on for dear life.
You know that you just need to let go,
you know how important it is to your whole future,
to your success, your love, your happiness, your fulfillment.
And yet you find yourself white knuckling everything.
Holding on with a fierce grip to everything that you know at your core is holding you back, preventing you from living life fulling out loud and unapologetic the way that SOUL demands of you.
You ponder the questions,
you look deep within, and you sit and analyze.
In all your questioning you find yourself even more lost then when you got started. And to make matters even worse you also can now see your fault in everything.
You can see how you are the cause for your suffering.
You pain, your lack of not having. It is in no one else’s hands but your very own and you see it clearly. But, still do not know how to let go.
 
And so you blame.
You feel shame for the things that you are causing,
that you are allowing, and for how you are not stepping fully the f-ck into your life.
You feel guilt for letting those you love down,
and have trouble looking yourself in the eye’s in the morning.
You want to run, you desire to hide.
You have thoughts of quitting.
You feel as though everything you touch turns to crap.
And yet still you hold onto everything you have with gusto.
 
The more you squeeze the life out of your dreams and goals,
the more you try and force them to manifest.
You dig in deeper,
you root your heals into the earth and you proclaim that you will work harder, show up more often, try new things, refocus your energy this way or that.
You feel the call at your core to simply LET GO.
You know that this can all be dealt with in no time flat.
Miracles are at your door step asking to be received,
but you turn them away because YOU MUST WORK FOR THIS THING. YOU MUST EARN IT.
 
You hear the words of ease and flow.
You believe it for everyone but YOU.
You see it working.
But you cave to your addiction of looking for the results and applying all your focus on what is not showing up.
Only turn inward and get angry, upset and depressed at your actions, at what you are causing.
 
This is all your fault and you know it at your core.
 
Those negative thoughts,
that doubt and fear.
They yell at you in the damnedest of times,
it’s hard to laugh, to play, to enjoy.
It difficult to enjoy the connection, the love, the support.
You see it.
You are grateful for it.
But it is fleeting.
Much like your faith in yourself.
But what is strong is your disgust.
Your anger and fear.
These negative emotions they know how to comfort you.
They support you,
or so it feels.
And you lay down with them and curl up in their arms.
Promising yourself that you will stop doing this.
Assuring yourself that you will do the damn thing that you know that you MUST DO, to have the life that is calling to you.
 
Your SOUL is crying out.
And you feel even more lost,
even in the comfort of this suffering you know that you are lost. You know that it is not suppose to be this hard.
You know that the challenge is self-created.
 
And to LET GO is the only thing that you must do.
In letting go, you will discover all your power, you will commit to who you truly are.
Here you will discover your natural way,
and get caught in the currents of abundance and love.
You will have no resistance,
because you have FINALLY chosen what you have always known and finally done the damn thing that has been calling to you.
 
It is this moment.
It is this moment where you find yourself on your knees,
your eye’s are welled up with tears and your hands are open wide.
Here you are FINALLY READY to be READY to receive.
And God desires to open the heavens to you beautiful.
 
Your first step to this SURRENDER is to go in ease with yourself.
 
Realize that you are human,
that you have an ego,
that you are learning how these moments,
like all moments are opportunities to know yourself better,
to heal deeper and to open wider.
The first step to your path has always been,
and will always remain the same,
BE IN EASE.
 
The ease of embracing yourself.
The ease of surrendering to your flow.
The ease of opening and receiving.
The ease of accepting that this too shall pass.
The ease of NOT making mountains out of mole hills.
The ease of just BEING YOU.
 
Let go in EASE Beautiful.
Let go and let your SOUL move you to your next step.
Let SOUL bring you to the path that will have the least amount of resistance.
Let go and watch the miracles form.
 
Let go of that death grip that YOU have on your heart and soul. On your dreams and goals.
On your abundance.
Your joy.
 
You ,
yes you are smothering yourself.
And ONLY YOU can let go.
But you must do it in EASE.
Have compassion beautiful for yourself.
Give love to yourself for walking the journey that you have.
 
You are YOU because of the steps that you have walked.
Appreciate each and every one.
And LET GO.
God has your back.
 
As Always
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
It’s time that you start to say YES to the most important person in the room beautiful.
It’s time that you accept your worth,
and step onto this path that your SOUL is calling you too.
I know how hard the steps may appear.
I know that you are fearful,
that you doubt if you have what it takes to make this shiz happen for you or not.
But I promise you that YOU can do it.
You can have it.The first step though is to recognize that you must let go and have faith in your process of getting there.
Listen to your SOUL and follow it’s lead.
Imagine having a coach who has been on a similar path guide you, help you discover the deeper meanings of what soul is wanting you to know.
What would it feel like to have that sort of support and guidance?
You can have this.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Private mentoring and coaching today.

Why Is She So Perfect?

Radiant.
Glowing.
Smiling and happy.
 
Why is she so perfect?
In love with life,
and life is in love with her.
The gift of life.
The gift of joy,
of family, community and love.
The gift to be able to provide a moment to those she loves.
 
Yes she is so perfect.
She is you and you are her.
She lives within your soul.
She asks to be seen,
more of then all that you often choose to share.
Her light,
her wisdom,
her happiness.
Desire to be seen.
Her heart wants nothing more than your embrace,
To touch and love,
to sing and dance.
 
Yes she is so perfect.
 
That angelic light, radiating from deep within.
It hides nothing,
reveals everything.
and is ignited by life.
Her wings are bold,
their spread is wide.
They carry her hopes, her dreams and aspirations.
They protect and nurture,
they support and shield.
Her wings,
are yours.
Embrace them and fly.
 
Why is she so perfect?
She is you and you are her.
United forever but must be revealed.
The soul of an angel,
the passion of a beast.
The wisdom of sages,
the courage of a warrior.
 
Why is she so perfect?
I will tell you her secret.
I will share right here.
 
She is perfect.
Yes indeed.
Because she is WHO YOU ARE.
She is SOUL.
She is TRUTH.
But to listen beautiful,
you must allow.
You must surrender and learn to love once again.
You must open and be flexible,
you must not desire to hide no more.
You must find your FAITH once more,
to spread those wings,
to shine that light.
You must step into WHO YOU ARE.
 
She is perfect.
She is you and you are her.
A divine and beautiful creature.
When tapped in and turned on,
You Ignite this dark World
You bring hope and joy to all those you touch,
they flock to you,
they hunger to hear your words,
to be touched by your message
and lifted up to theirs.
 
Yes, she is perfect.
because she is daring.
Because she loves true.
Because she knows herself.
Because she fears but does not hide.
Because she doubts but does not quit.
Because she looks into her eye’s,
she see’s her pain,
she see’s her fear,
she’ rests in FAITH.
 
She is perfect.
She is you and you are her.
But First beautiful,
YOU MUST BELIEVE.
 
Rest in your surrender to SOUL.
Find comfort in your raw vulnerability.
Passion in your courage and fear.
And footing in the LEAP YOU ARE TAKING.
 
Leap Beautiful,
Leap and free fall,
for your wings were designed to catch you,
you and this dark world,
that you are meant to lift up.
To share.
To teach.
To spread the light and love.
Yes leap beautiful.
 
Leap and Trust in Your Wings.
 
——————— 🙌 ——————————–
 
This picture I share today is a snipped pic from a video that my daughter took two years ago. She put the title of “Why is she so Perfect” on the video and across the stream. To feel my daughters love and adoration like this is one thing, but my realization in her share of this memory is one I had to share with YOU today.
 
I write this message above for me.
I write it for you too beautiful.
Female or male, ‘we are all beautiful.
We are all worthy.
We all have a message.
And my message never changes to you.
 
It STAND UP, SPEAK OUT, and THRIVE.
 
Accept your worth.
Accept your power.
Accept WHO YOU ARE.
 
 
And Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Imagine letting go of your fear,
letting go of your shame.
What would your life be like if you were working with a mentor that could help you level up your life and let go of all those things that no longer serve you?
What would you like to release? Let go of and create for your EMPOWERED Life?
 
Let’s talk.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Coaching today.
 
 
 
 

Until you DO THIS THING you will never succeed in any area you want. Jacked but true!

What if I told you that the one thing you are sitting around and contemplating,
the one thing that you are procrastinating on,
and have been this whole time,
is the THING.
 
The THING that until you deal with it,
until you put your head down and JUST DO,
until you STOP the insanity of attempting to ignore it,
when your SOUL is screaming,
begging and doing everything it can,
to get you to pay attention and JUST DO IT.
Is holding you back.
 
Yes beautiful!
 
This THING,
and you know the thing.
You know you know the thing.
 
Until you do the THING,
you will not have success anywhere else.
 
That is a hard pill to swallow.
And you may say, but the thing is so small.
The thing has NOTHING to do with anything else.
The thing is unimportant.
The thing cannot have that big of an impact on my life.
No the thing,
it cannot be that THING.
That is just silly.
 
But what if….
Seriously now,
what if this thing IS the reason that you are struggling so damn hard in the areas of your life that you are?
 
What if the procrastination,
the excuses,
the fears and worries about this thing,
and the avoidance of doing this thing,
is truly enough kink in your abundance hose,
your ability to manifest the life that you want in all areas.
To make it seem like you are not worthy.
Not good enough.
Not whatever….
 
What if it’s like setting the coordinates of an airplane off by one degree?
 
Can you imagine where a plane would end up if that happened.
 
One degree over the course of time,
just a short period of time at that,
would make the planes destination completely change.
The goal may be New York,
but they might land in Beijing.
And what challenges would come of this one degree difference on the set path?
Perhaps not having enough gas.
Among many other issues.
And then they would land at a destination they were not wanting.
 
Yes, beautiful.
What if you thought about the THING that you have been procrastinating on like this.
What if you just for a few days, a month or whatever time needed to see results, changes happen, did a little experiment with this THING.
 
What if….
What if you just did the THING?
 
Crazy.
 
What if you did the thing,
and in doing the thing,
all your other things,
magically fixed themselves.
The things you wanted to manifest,
just happened to manifest with ease.
 
What if because you no longer were procrastinating about this thing,
were no longer running from it,
hiding from it,
as if it were some monster,
that you looked in the mirror now with confidence.
With certainty.
With love.
 
What if this very THING,
is what is holding you back from THRIVING beautiful?
What if it is the ONLY effing reason that you are not living the life that you want right now?
 
Is this thing worthy of stealing your greatest life ever?
It is worth you sacrificing your joy,
your love,
your abundance over?
 
Is it?
 
Well is it?
 
Go and ponder this thing today beautiful.
Look at it truly and ask yourself if it is that big of a mountain to climb,
that scaring of a feat to tackle,
that enormous of whatever the eff it is,
that you are going to continue even for the rest of this beautiful day,
full of life and opportunity,
allow….
 
Allow it to take away everything that you desire and want for yourself.
 
You have the power beautiful.
It is nothing more than a choice.
It is your choice.
No one else’s.
 
You cannot keep making the excuses that you have been making and avoiding this thing any longer,
if you step into listening to that beautiful heart of yours.
You say that you are committed.
You say that you really want it.
You are doing all the work that it takes.
You are so focused.
So motivated.
So brilliant.
 
But beautiful,
your f-cking it all up.
 
By NOT doing this thing!
 
So take a big breath right now,
stand up from where you are at,
and take no more crap from yourself.
 
And do the THING that you have been procrastinating on all this time.
 
Destroy what is holding you back,
by stepping into yourself that much more.
 
Bye bye avoidance.
Bye bye procrastination.
Hello SOUL.
Hello manifestation.
 
You are magic.
 
And remember,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Want to take that step?
I sure hope that you have come to realize that this fence that you are sitting on is not a fence of safety,
but a fence of saying no to self,
saying no to your dreams and desires and living the way God intended on you living.
THRIVING.
 
Yes BABY.
It is time that you decide..
Learn more in depth about 1:1 Elite Coaching for a F-ck Yes! Life.