Boatloads of Trust

Trust.
Something we long to have,
something we long for other’s to have in us and us in them.
It is given freely and in boat loads at the beginning of a relationship and THEN as time moves forward we break our trust with others and we have our trust broken.

The small little moments when we don’t hold space,
where we choose to not be authentic,
where we mask our feelings,
our intents.

These all tear away at trust.

Then we have those bigger moments, where trust crashes on the shores of a disaster and we feel ourselves overtaken by the pain of what we believed we had that we quickly discover was misplaced.

TRUST.

One of the most beautiful aspects of life,
providing us with a strength to lean in and embrace all that we crave,
all that we hunger for.
All that we want to be and want to experience.

The vulnerability,
the surrender of TRUST.

It is a giving of our deepest selves,
and this is why when it is breached it hurts so effing much.

This is why we fear listening to that inner voice,
opening our hearts and revealing ourselves at any depth.

So we starve ourselves.
We keep things at the surface and we do not venture down the rabbit hole of true relationship.

TRUST.

I find myself this morning looking at this word with great love,
with great hatred and fear,
with a reality that for all the trust that I have,
I trust VERY little.

And the message from my SOUL that I aim to share here with you, is that we all have these feelings. We all fear TRUST.

The bigger issue is that we fear trust more with ourselves,
more with GOD than we do with other’s in our life.

The trust that we give or don’t give to other’s is nothing more than a reflection of the trust that we give to ourselves and thus to God.

We are always being met with a reflection of something inside ourselves, and it is the awareness that the reflection is there to serve us, to heal us, to open us and to connect us to ourselves and all that is, IS THE LESSON.

Trust is a main area in which we must awaken to our core issues to alignment.

We want for so much in life.
We desire more abundance, more money, more sex, better health, better relationships, more fun, adventure, opportunity.
Yet we DO NOT TRUST that we are WORTHY of it or that we CAN HAVE IT.

Therefore we consistently look for how it is not showing up.
We manage to lean into self-sabotage when the beauty of all that we want is offered, we find our way home to the comfort of our pain body and we give reason to NOT TRUST or be trustworthy.

It is a two way street.
As everything in life is about relationship.
No matter what we are desiring we are in a relationship with it.
And in order to go deeper into a SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP we must be able to trust ourselves and to trust those that are in alignment to us.

TRUST.

This morning I sit here with issues based just in this word.
I write this note from a deep place in my heart and soul. A place that desires to trust but is constantly awakening to the reality that I have challenges in this department.

I have powerful reason’s as to why I should not trust,
why I should not lean in, ‘why I should not offer up my truth.
I feel myself wanting to hide.
Wanting to disregard what I know at my core.
Wanting to act as though the reality of this current moment is something else, when in fact I am being given an opportunity within this problem around trust to see clearer.
To offer compassion.
To offer love so that all can heal.

This requires authentic relating.
This requires INTEGRITY.

Trusts is given freely and in boat loads at the beginning of a relationship.

Then we manage to f-ck it up from all the little and not so little choices that we make.

Within the f-ck up we are given an opportunity to stand in INTEGRITY. And with integrity we open the doorway again to

TRUST.

When we choose to be authentic,
to come clean with ourselves,
and with the relationships in our life,
we access a deeper version of our SOUL.
We embrace our humanness.
We embrace love.
We show God that we trust that we will be held,
and that we can heal.
We open ourselves to MORE.

And here we align to soul.
Here we access our TRUTH.
Here we EXPAND and LIVE.

Anything else is an illusion of the life we create through our fear, through our ego.

Anything else is self-sabotage.

If you want to TRUST, and be trusted, then you MUST at all cost stand in INTEGRITY.

You MUST show up as your authentic self.
And you must EMBRACE your humanness and what you may perceive as flaws as spaces for growth.

TRUST your core.
TRUST your soul.
TRUST your heart.

Stand there, in that meadow.
With SELF first.

Can you look in the mirror and say that you stand in integrity?

And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

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