A hunger that you just can not fill.
This has been something that I have been playing with the last few months.
that’s not true.
It’s been something that I have been dancing around with for years now.
And I am f-cking hungry!
Which makes me irritable.
Makes me depressed some days.
Makes me look out into my life and question all that I have and all that I want,
and makes me look at what I am blessed with and say,
“Is this as good as it gets?”
I sound like a spoiled rotten bitch though when I say that.
And perhaps I have become one.
maybe I am supposed to be one.
maybe you are too.
Maybe, just maybe we are all supposed to want for more in our lives.
In our love and in our sex.
But the fear of being perceived as greedy,
and not appreciative stops us from going after what we want for.
The fear of what others will think.
That is the leading sabotager of our dreams.
And damn we are really good at finding reasons that we cannot be fulfilled in life.
Why we “should” settle,
and why we need to just shut up, sit down and stop searching, stop craving, stop wanting.
We are great at thinking that there is something wrong with us,
that we are bad people because we want for more.
Especially when we are a people of so many blessings.
The reality though love is something totally different.
The reality is that the way that this universe and God evolve and expand is through our wanting.
Our desires birth into existence everything that we currently have and everything that will ever be.
The issue with our desires is that they make those around us uncomfortable.
Especially when we start speaking about our sex and money.
These two things we are damned for no matter which way we turn.
If we want more of them then we are damned and greedy, we are sluts and only focused on gratification of self.
If we want for less of them or allow less of them in our lives then we are told that we are not worthy of everything else in life because we don’t have enough of these two things which means that we are unattractive, stupid, weak, disliked, etc.
So no matter what we do, when it comes to our sex and our money we are f-cked and not in a fun or good fashion.
So what can we do with these unholy hungers that we have and we run and try and hide from but that creep up and make themselves known in the most inopportune moments?
How do we curb our cravings to have the love, the sex, the money and abundance without feeling shameful and guilty for wanting more or better? Or any for that matter.
Or for wanting to change things up and play with what we have to try and create something more robust and expansive?
First we have to KNOW…
I mean truly KNOW with all the certainty that we can muster up that WANTING is natural and healthy.
The craving for something is a showing that our soul wants it for us as well and is already in pursuit for it and has found a path.
The negative emotions that stem from our craving of wanting something more and better reveals that we are out of alignment with our soul and with our power. We would not be able to feel this negative vibe if we were in alignment.
You see when we are in alignment we feel f-cking great.
We are focused,
we are clear minded,
we feel powerful and turned on to life,
We have confidence and are loose in our life, able to flow toward what we are wanting because we are allowing ourselves to be taken to it versus constricting ourselves and causing ourselves to get caught up in worry and fear.
Next we have to realize that ALL things…
Did you read that?
ALL THINGS CHANGE.
They must change.
In order for us to grow,
to gain what we claim we want,
in any subject area of life,
we must allow for evolution to occur.
We cannot have what we want by remaining the same person that we are today.
Even if we have a dynamic relationship,
a bank full of money,
great health and everything that we “think” that we can want for,
we still must allow for evolution to happen within ourselves and our lives as well as within any one of these areas if we want to maintain the area and/or expand/heal it.
You will never find happiness by insisting on things to remain the same.
Just like you cannot expect things to remain at the same level of connection,
the same level of turn on,
or anything else.
Life has its storms,
These storms are about you developing your ideal version of you.
These storms are something for us to learn how to move through in confidence and love,
and that in the storms of life,
we must expect that things will pull from us or push up against us and often this will feel uncomfortable.
But the discomfort is there to alert us to the areas inside of ourselves that we need to learn to lean more into,
speak more truth from,
see more authentically,
reveal in vulnerability more,
and to trust and love on.
These raw spaces that get revealed are the spaces that evolve us to our highest potential.
And thus create the life that we want.
Bringing our dreams into reality.
And it is saying that it is time that you start to pay mother f-cking attention to your SOUL.
It’s time that you start to take notice of that hunger before it becomes a ravenous beast that will destroy you and everything in its path to getting fed.
I am hungry.
I am craving more in all areas of my life and I have an amazingly full and abundant life.
My cup runneth over for sure.
And I want to keep it that way.
Because the truth of the matter is,
only with a full cup can you truly share without fear,
and help others.
Only by valuing yourself to the levels that God values can you give your gift in this world.
And only through the pursuit of evolution through love,
of self can you grow your soul and experience happiness.
Because happiness is not about the things that you have but who you become gaining the things that you have.
Who are you today and what does your tale say about your journey?
Stop existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Join me later this month for an expansive workshop about magick, love, sex and the law of attraction. We are going to be putting together the pieces of your puzzle and breaking down the barriers that have been holding you back from saying yes fully to your desired life.
My heart felt like it was being crushed.
My chest had a weight on it that no matter how I tried to calm my breathing,
no matter the stretching and massaging that I provided my chest,
the pressure and constriction simply would not stop.
There was this low grade level of anxiety rising in my system as I could feel my body fighting with me.
But why was this happening?
I was not fearful of travel.
I was not feeling out of sorts with my lover who was sitting right there with me.
There was nothing that I could consciously come up with in this moment that would support the pain that I was in.
Fast forward a few hours….
We had landed. Gotten our car. And made it to the fauntleroy ferry in West Seattle. I was feeling far calmer now then just a few hours prior in the Uber ride to the airport.
However as soon as our Jeep rolled onto the ferry and we got parked the overwhelming feelings of being crushed and the anxiety made themselves known again.
Breathing deep as I could in the moment I quickly walked myself to the upper deck of the ferry and called my breath as I looked out over the harbor to Vashon Island. The wind encompassed me with the soft smell of sea salt in it,
the waves crashed up against the sides of the ferry, the sun let me feel delicate moments of warmth on the skin that was revealed and here I was in this moment,
There was no reason in this moment to stand here on this ferry and cry,
yet the tears came anyway.
And as they did the release into whatever was holding in my chest and begging me to let it go left with them.
Here on the ferry overlooking the water I surrendered to the unknown.
I let myself go into what logically made no sense.
I was happy.
I was excited to share my love of Washington with my lover for a few days.
I was feeling relaxed until I was not.
And my mind wanted answers.
My mind wanted to become Sherlock Holmes and figure it all out,
make reason for the pain,
and my holding of it.
But my soul and heart understood its truth.
My body and mind had been arguing you could say.
They were not in alignment.
And THAT is what was causing me to suffer.
WIthout realizing it I was not surrendering to the beauty and release of this trip. I was holding onto an old concept,
I was holding onto the version of me who used to live here in Seattle all those years ago and STRUGGLE in life.
who missed so much of the greatness of this place.
Here I was 15 years later, holding onto these fragments of self.
Not letting myself release fully into who I have become.
Who I have grown into being and the life that I have today.
The fear of the old me was actually creating physical pain in the current. The old thought programs and beliefs around money and relationships that I use to try to exist in life were being unmasked in my energy and my current state of who I AM was being asked by my old sabotaging thoughts and ideas to lay down and shut up.
And here was the significant constriction that I was feeling.
The feeling like I could not breathe.
The feeling like my chest was going to explode and my ribs were being broken from the inside out.
The agony in my gut.
And the intense headache that came with it all as my whole being just wanted to flee the idea of this trip I had planned.
I was not surrendering to me.
I was not surrendering to this moment.
I was not surrendering to life or what it was blessing me with.
And I was not surrendering all because of an old concept and old beliefs that were trying to make themselves current.
I was out of alignment.
The issue with my alignment was causing me the pain and the fear.
The only thing that could save me was my own surrender into the depths of the unknown,
into this moment.
into this experience.
into life and what it was offering me.
And as I did so,
the tears streamed down my face,
the wind whipped itself around me,
the waves crashed against the ferry boat,
the sun shone through the clouds and asked to warm my skin,
and I took a deep breath letting it all go.
My world was right again.
My body let go of everything that it was holding,
and it let go of the need to falsely try and control what it could not control.
It let go of this moment in life and allowed the moment to JUST BE.
Without a need to know what was going to come next.
Without the need to hold onto the moment and ask that it never change or leave.
My SOUL was again in the driver’s seat,
and in it I was aligned.
Some would look at moments like this or times that they feel these same constrictions and fears, anxiety and “gut reactions” as signs to turn and go another direction.
and sometimes they can mean just that for sure,
However often they are signs that we are on the tipping edge of everything that we desire to be birthed into our world and our old versions of self are there testing us.
Asking us if we are sure that we truly want everything that we have proclaimed that we do.
Many people at this moment misread what their body, mind and emotions are speaking to them and they turn away from EVERYTHING.
They will say,
“That’s just too risky.”
“I need to see it to believe it.”
“I need to know that this person is as invested as I am.”
” I don’t want to hurt so and so or get hurt.”
“Timing is wrong, I can feel it.”
And they step away from life.
They step away from some of the best moments of living.
They turn away from the experiences that will grow them into that next version and they do it all in the name of “having a feeling.”
They do it based on logic.
They do it because they look at the suffering and pain,
the anxiety as a symbol that THIS IS NOT THE PATH.
When that is not at all what is being said.
Your SOUL is saying this FEAR that you are having right now is here telling you that THIS….
THIS is the perfect path that will transform you into that next beautiful version of who you were born to become.
This fear that you are having is here because you have control issues and life is not for controlling, it is here for you to love and enjoy,
and in your loving and enjoying of each delicate moment and your release into the unknown you BIRTH YOURSELF.
And you BECOME.
But you must SURRENDER.
In the small moments as well as the big ones.
Because the universe/God is not looking at the size of the moments,
but at your ability to be in alignment with SOURCE.
That is the meaning of FAITH.
That is having CERTAINTY that you will always get what you want for and need.
That is how you make MAGICK in your life and THRIVE.
Can you surrender to life?
We are all being asked to do just this.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Message me for deets on the Magick Minute.
LOVE SHOULD BE PERFECT.
And yet it never is.
A long time ago when I was living in Seattle, Washington I was attending a church in Kent with a pastor that I adored. I learned so much from Pastor Jack. He was focused on teaching the congregation about blessings, about our glory and how that translated into the law of attraction.
I still make use of his teachings today with my clients almost daily and in my shares here with you as well.
Among my favorite things he shared were,
“More than enough with plenty left over.”
Which always commanded in the belief and feeling that we are always provided for,
that we always have more than enough in the things that we need with plenty left to share.
And that the leftovers are there for us to do just that …..SHARE.
And then his other reminder of truth that I have kept in my heart and mind all these years was focused toward relationships….
The relationship of marriage.
And in today’s world,
which even though greatly different than that of just 15 years ago when Pastor Jack was preaching his wisdom to me,
is still all the same.
His words of truth were simple.
“Marry your best friend.”
Those words made me look at my marriage,
and perhaps were words that supported me to divorce a few years later. Although back then I would have felt the need to confirm that I was best friends with my then husband,
the reality was not that we were best friends.
We got along on a ton of items,
but I found that I had to restrict myself in so many ways,
and that was not friendship,
and certainly not best friends.
When I am working with couples today in my coaching practice many come to me troubled and on the cusp of a breaking up because of so many things…
*Not enough sex or bad sex.
*Abuse of one kind or another.
*Lack of sexual desire.
And most couples will start off their tale by telling me that they are best friends with their spouse,
that they can tell them anything,
that they have fantastic communication.
fill in the blank from above list here.
They believe that if they had more sex/better sex or a stronger desire for their partner,
if they were physically attracted more to them,
if they had more money in the bank,
or what have you that their marriage would be perfect.
Now the reality is that if you are in an abusive relationship ( no matter what that looks like) that chances are you need to get out of it because an abusive partner often does not see their wrong and change,
if you are in a relationship that has suffered from infidelity,
There can be work done and you can repair it and even come back stronger than ever before if love and communication/friendship is at the front stage of both parties minds.
The desire for more sex, better sex or having more desire for your partner… .these things can be detrimental if the friendship and love are not there first and if both parties are not open to raw, real discussions based in truth and love to work on these challeneges,
but if both parties are wanting the connection and can be emotionally mature to take responsibility for self and speak their truth and work together on these items,
then you can have a deeply strong bond and the sex and desire can grow from it.
The relationships that come to me wanting these things,
often have one MAJOR obstacle however…
One partner is stubborn and refuses to see the truth.
Refuses to take the matter seriously or take the time and effort required to build this part of the relationship. They don’t believe that it is their problem and that the other partner is to blame for it and needs the fixing.
However that is never the case.
Relationships are always a two way street.
It always requires both people to want to connect and come together. It requires both parties to take responsibility for themselves and to not get caught up in their old wounds from the past.
Unfortunately, this is where the relationship breaks down.
People often don’t want to do this.
They want the easy street and they say,
“Love should be easy.”
“Love should be perfect.”
We are all human.
And there is no such thing as the perfect human.
If you have a list of fifty qualities that you want and count highly important in a mate,
and you believe that you will get ALL of these qualities in one person and until you get them all that you will not settle,
I ask you to look in the mirror and ask of yourself if you exhibit all fifty of them yourself?
You are never going to find someone who is 100% of those qualities a hundred percent of the time.
They are human.
You are human.
And life changes and transforms us.
Some qualities can be developed over time.
Some are just there and a natural part of who we are,
some are based on energetic connections,
while others have everything to do with our gene pool.
If you are counting any of these qualities as love though,
you are mistaken.
Qualities do not define love.
They add to love.
They sweeten the pot.
Love is something that you cannot explain,
nor does it need to be explained.
It just is.
And when it is felt on both sides now you have something special.
LOVE COMES FROM BEING ABLE TO BE YOURSELF WITH SOMEONE ELSE, UNMASKED.
When we can do this with someone,
we feel acceptance and love for self and it translates to “loving someone else” because we see the reflection of what we are feeling for self as what we see coming or going toward another.
When we “fall in love” or catch feels for someone,
what is actually happening is that we are witnessing ourselves in love. We are falling in love with self and this other person is simply helping us see our own beauty.
That is why the best friend statement is so powerful.
In friendship there is an acceptance, an unconditional love.
It goes past all that life can change for us,
like our physical bodies appearance,
our health or financial status,
it looks past our ups and downs and even past the chemical connectors that we have on the front side of a romantic relationship that over the course of three to five years diminish and change.
But for some reason, we humans believe that love should be perfect.
That these connecting chemicals should ALWAYS be there,
that the energy and excitement of the first kiss is the way that we will remain throughout all of time,
that the person who is standing before us perfect in their skin of today will never change,
that the feelings that we are having will just remain unwavering.
Or that if we do not have all these sudden rushes of ignition but that we do deeply care and connect in all other ways that this is not or cannot be real love.
That it is “ONLY FRIENDSHIP” and we in turn lower it to that level and get frustrated that we cannot find Mr. or Mrs. Perfect that checks all of our boxes on our list of fifty all of the time.
And so we remain living in search of something that has been offered to us repeatedly. Believing that if we explore,
if we open ourselves to the love that is there before us and go as deep as we can with it that we are settling,
we are giving up,
that if they don’t have everything that they are not Mr. or Mrs. Perfect and instead are a waste of our precious time.
What we are doing to ourselves in this is denying ourselves the beauty of discovery of love.
Love is a quest of self.
Love is about finding out who we really are through our relating with another.
It is about meeting all aspects of self,
and without relationship we will never meet our authentic selves at any depth.
When we continue to look for perfection in a mate,
What we are actually saying is that we ourselves are not worthy of our own love until we become PERFECT as well.
So how will you ever find Mr. or Mrs. Perfect if you prevent yourself from growing into your whole beautiful self by denying love to be birthed through a relationship with another imperfect human who is there as your teacher of self love?
Chances are your relationship with anyone will not last in a forever sense.
That reality although harsh is still a reality.
We outgrow each other,
and as we change sometimes our mates choose a path of slower or limited growth that creates a breaking point in the relationship,
but if we have come together in friendship and love,
then even the parting is done in the same fashion.
And we each can gain what we need for our own development.
It’s time that we start to view relationships and even marriage as the opportunity to explore self and learn to love deeply through the witnessing of another that rivets us deeper into our truth.
Love is always perfect.
It is always perfect for the moment that the relationship is in.
It is never easy,
but it can always be in flow with who we are.
We create our own obstacles to feeling it by trying to make it perfect in every moment and getting irritated with the reality that love, true love requires each party to grow in connection with self first.
Where does your love stand?
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Want to learn more about how self-love helps create the grounds to call in your soulmate love today? Reach out to me today for deet’s on 1:1 coaching now.
SOME DAYS YOU QUESTION…
IS IT EVEN WORTH IT?
You know those days where your chest feels so tight it hurts to even try and take a shallow breath,
and you know that what you really need to do is to breathe deep and force yourself to just relax,
but you can’t.
It hurts too effing bad.
You feel like your chest is going to erupt at any second from the pressure that it is under and your heart is beating faster than it should,
you woke with enough anxiety for two countries of people,
and your mind won’t stick to anything positive.
worry dances around you assuring you that today is going to suck,
just like life is sucking. And you question….
Is any of this even worth it?
Does anyone really care?
Do I matter?
And if I do, is it just so I can be of service without support coming back? Am I only here on this planet to be used?
The blame game is a nasty one,
and you know it’s not even accurate,
but there you go anyway,
down that rabbit hole,
feeding yourself another solemn tail of defeat and suffering.
Your mind is a chatter with how you need to just put an end to your suffering,
you have no reason to continue so it appears,
your heart is shattered and no one sees it,
You are lost.
Lost in your pain.
Lost in your inability to love yourself.
Lost in your fear of change.
Lost in desire to control and you cannot see it.
Your ego has you by the balls,
and there is a strange fulfillment in it.
Shhhh…. don’t tell anyone that in your pain you are comfortable.
But it is true.
You are happy here in this suffering,
it is serving you for the time.
It is gaining you the attention that you desire,
it is getting those who are around you to notice you somehow.
Your vibe is so low that they feel a need to check in on you,
to inquire and at very least pretend that they care.
And to this there is an inner smiling.
But not for long.
Quickly you dismiss it.
And move on to another thought of your inner suffering,
pointing more fingers,
spewing out hatred and pain to anyone who will listen.
Confirming your misery.
And controlling that it will not leave you.
Yes my love,
Did you catch that?
You are controlling your pain.
You are forcing it to stay with you.
You are the one who is hanging on to it.
You are truly that powerful,
that you have chosen to put yourself into this bondage.
You are truly that genius to have devised a life of suffering that is so masterfully planned out that even you yourself can no longer see it for the mastery that it is in your power.
Choosing blindness over sight.
Choosing to remain harnessed to the inner demons that you feed with your thoughts and actions.
Choosing to control them,
through your dictatorship of what you cannot do.
But if you could just breathe.
If you could just allow yourself to settle down into that cavity of your heart and feel the beating of its beauty and power.
If you could if only for today allow yourself a moment to release all the emotion that resides there,
let the tears stream without attachment,
without a need to think about them,
but to just let them go.
If you could do this and breathe.
Deeper and deeper,
letting yourself feel yourself and love,
love you for all your humanness,
and your tender beauty and powerful soul,
then perhaps you would be able to turn the corner to this self inflicted suffering.
Perhaps then you could come from your strength.
From that place deep inside of you that knows its worthiness,
embraces its power and see’s how it is truly the creator of your life.
If you could do this for only one minute today,
just one focused minute imagine the glorious thing that could stem from this place?
Imagine what it would be like to ALLOW yourself to turn that corner and to STOP the suffering game that you are playing with yourself.
Imagine what life might be like if instead of denying yourself the ability to feel good,
you in turn started to say yes to yourself with the things that you know you desire, crave and need.
You question your worthiness…
yet you do not treat yourself with any worth.
You question if you should continue on…
yet you deny the allowance of living from a yes point to self.
You roll in the muddy contamination of your thoughts claiming that you are shackled there while holding the key to your freedom.
And the reality is the same for any of us…
We will only make a change when we are ready to make that change.
When we are done with the service that pain offers.
When we are done controlling from this vibrational level and we are ready to truly step into our power of self love.
Ready to surrender to your true nature,
to create a life of thriving.
But first you must question…..
How is this suffering serving me?
Why am I so attached to this pain?
How is controlling my life through pain supporting my current desires?
And you must go deep with yourself if you are to unblock yourself from what you claim you no longer want.
You must get authentically raw with yourself and be willing to see those inner shadows for what they are….
for how you….
YES YOU ARE THEIR MASTER.
Are you ready to turn the corner?
Because this world needs your light.
And you my dear,
YOU ARE WORTHY OF A LIFE OF THRIVING.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Stop with the mind f-ck games that you are playing with yourself and learn the secrets to thriving now.
You can create the life of your dreams in one minute a day.
Message me for deet’s on the Magick Minute Program.
One of those days when my energy goes to left field…
Or maybe it’s right field.
Or maybe right at the pitcher.
It’s always interesting though on days like this where I feel the arousal of life moving through me,
I feel the hunger to devour every moment,
and the tugs of the past that will always sway around in my soul, reminding me of what I thirst still for.
On days like today,
the universe is quick to remind me of my energetic connections,
of how those fleeting yet powerful thoughts evoke response,
and how quick I can manifest many opportunities into my life to experience everything that I am thirsting for.
This quenching comes through multiple sources however,
and me being human just like you want it the way I want it and all in one package.
Even though I fully understand, appreciate and even value the multiple packages that can show up in my life,
There are some things that I crave for that I JUST WANT IN THE WAY I WANT.
And I know without a doubt that I can have them too.
I have tasted of these delicacies before.
I have been overtaken by the depth of fulfillment that can be experienced all from one source.
And it is truly intoxicating.
AND I WANT THAT!
I don’t really have a ton of patience to wait for it.
I question if I am just wasting time,
or if I just imagined it before.
Or perhaps the truth is that those sorts of things only come once in life,
and when gone they leave us with this beautiful suffering of knowing that it will never be again.
Perhaps they are only so lovely as to walk through our lives because of the deep pain that they bare on our soul.
they are there to make us question ourselves, or to learn how to be better. As if to present a lesson for us to spend the rest of our days unraveling.
I truly don’t know.
But what I do know is that these blessed little and big moments in my life are a feast that I will always run toward and sit at the table of.
I know that when presented I am eager and hungry to explore IF….
and perhaps, this is yet another one of those life moments that will forever leave its mark,
and no matter how deep it may scratch into my flesh and heart,
I know for sure one thing.
IT IS WORTH IT.
How can something that can be such an achilles heel to us be worth anything other than pain and cause us anything other than a major stumbling block in our life?
These things can be like quicksand to us if we get to caught up in them,
and yet we dive in,
and we search for them.
It is because without them,
without the knowing and the deep dive into the ravines of everything that they offer us,
we will NEVER KNOW OURSELVES FULLY.
and with that we can never know love.
We can never feel that true sense of abandon,
where we surrender into nothingness that is everything.
Where all that we are is seen and unraveled like the lessons that we gain from these moments and people who allow us time to bask in the enjoyment of the experience of life with them.
And so we wander through our days,
lost in search for yet this experience again. Ever so hungry to find it,
ever so thirsty to be drowned by it,
and we find our hearts feeling broken.
We find our minds screaming at us in dissatisfaction,
that we are so silly as to be hunting for yet another moment.
Trying to convince ourselves that, that was all the sampling of happiness, connection, love and joy that we get for this lifetime.
Giving all of our power over to just this one moment.
And feeling like we have been shredded into a million pieces and no one cares,
no one sees,
no one hears our pleas to be held yet again in this beauty,
this agonizing beauty that we fear and hunger for all in the same.
What do we crazy fickle humans do?
We manifest into our lives….
That is what we do.
We call it in and we choose to disregard it.
Because we fear its wrath on our lives.
We fear the pain.
We fear the heartache and the loss.
The death of something.
And so we deny allowing it into formation.
We say no to the very thing that we hunger for.
And we choose to sit in agony that we have chosen out of the fear of if we said yes to our dreams and our desires,
if we allowed ourselves to transform and become everything that we need to become to fully merge with this new exploration and blessing,
and we convince ourselves that this sort of suffering is better than the having of yet another altering beautiful moment that we run the risk of losing somewhere down the road.
And so we sit idle in our today,
and stay that way,
Never allowing our thirst to be quenched by the waterfalls that can carry us away to our own divinity.
To the uniting of self and love.
To the potential of who we are and how we can dance in the currents of our transformation.
Yes this is the journey of the fickle human being.
That you and I both are.
We will forever be captivated by our hungers,
our wanting and earning,
and to those we must awaken to our nature to torment ourselves in the not having.
Because when we seek…
when we ask…
It is always granted.
It is never denied by God/universe.
The denying is all up to us.
So what will we choose?
Or to have not?
It is up to you and it is up to me,
and this is how powerful we truly are.
We have the power to shackle ourselves from EVERYTHING,
yes everything that we want for.
What do you choose?
I know my answer.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Want to learn how you can one and for all get out of your own way? I get how difficult it can be.
How it feels like there is no way that you can ever achieve the life, the relationship,
the abundance and health that you crave so deeply for.
I understand how easy it is to contribute all that beauty and love from your past to one person,
But I tell you this,
you are the creator of your life and you are worthy of thriving.
Let me show you the path to living unbound and turned on today.
*Photo Credit @ #DandeLionImages
CAN WE JUST F-CKING STOP WITH BEAUTIFUL.
you say that word so often I do not think it is achieving the results that you think it is achieving.
On any day of the week,
I get the comment of “Beautiful” at least ten times from random people ( mostly men) who want to share it with me.
And the reality is this,
The statement of “Beautiful.”
Is a surface AF statement.
It will get you nowhere in a hurry with a woman who values herself,
who understands that her true beauty is not something you appreciate just from her skin that is barred or the clothes that she has on,
it has nothing to do with the smile on her face,
or if she is nice to you.
Beauty is something so much deeper.
It comes from a place of knowing oneself.
Of loving oneself,
even the shadow lands of our character.
Beauty comes from feeling good in our own skin,
and when someone over uses such a compliment,
it actually starts to rub raw,
and cause you to not take in the compliment.
Every human being NEEDS to have words of affirmation.
Every human being needs to learn how to breathe into compliments and own their worth,
but surface AF statement that are easy to say and show that you know NOTHING about the person,
are not anything to sport about saying.
Especially with a woman.
SO this musing is going out to all you gents who tell me and other amazing AF powerful women that you find us BEAUTIFUL.
That you would love to show us what you can do with your whatever you desire to touch and taste us with,
That you love how our hair looks,
our clothes fit us,
or the angle we opted to take a picture from.
Yeah those comments that you believe will land you in our panties and hearts,
HA! We think not.
For a true compliment is spoken from a place of presence,
it is stated about a person’s depth and light.
A compliment that makes you stand out in the crowd of all those fools who think that some cartoon dog blowing random AF kisses, or I love you’s is going to get somewhere other than an eye roll and quickening in our scroll,
if you truly desire to make an impression…
THEN SLOW THE F-CK DOWN….
and pay some attention.
You need to actually listen,
watch and read,
you need to make statements that show that you were into what that person was sharing,
you need to let yourself absorb who you are watching,
and not from a place where she gets me off to watch.
This also applies to anyone who is taking a woman to bed,
if you are so lucky to have her open herself to you,
then remember this….
You can leave a good impression,
a bad impression ,
or a F-cking Spectacular impression.
The choice is yours.
And it all comes down to how you slow the f-ck down and get present with her.
If you think you know a woman,
and how to f-ck her wide open,
awesome…. but I question your cockiness.
Because I know women,
and we bore easily and rarely want to hurt your delicate ego’s, so we let you believe that you know,
and then roll our eyes and share our frustrations with our friends about how clueless you are,
and how surface AF our sex is with you.
A woman who loves herself and knows her value,
will not keep around a man or partner for any amount of real time who cannot prove that they can go deep with her.
If our partner is not willing to slow the f-ck down and value us the way that we know we should be,
then “bye, bye… don’t let the door hit you on your way out of my life.”
A woman who keeps a surface level lover around,
is a woman who does not know herself yet and has not learned her value.
The facts are simple and they start with how we relate outside the bedroom.
Ladies if you feel all fluttery and excited about that want to be average joe who said beautiful on one of your pictures,
then I question how much love you have for self.
Because that man… that man is a little boy who has not learned how to be with a woman yet and cannot handle his own depth or the light that you have to offer.
if you are one of these dudes that offer up easy to spell one word comments, but then turn around and ask a woman a question that you already have access to the answer of…
(by taking the time in our social media world… and I mean like maybe 2 minutes of time….you can discover how old someone is, where they are from or live, if they are single or coupled, open or not, kids, what they do and even their likes)
THEN JUST F-CKING STOP ALREADY.
Your words are wasted on those of us who value ourselves.
We do not need your statements of beautiful or what you desire to do to us or with us,
we laugh at you,
we shake our heads at your silliness and we keep scrolling.
You don’t have a chance,
so go find someone who may better suit you.
There is someone for everyone,
or so they say.
I am not the one who will fall prey to your mediocre compliments with no depth or care.
Just like all the other queens out there who get what I am sharing here in this musing today.
Level up your relating guys!
Level up who you are.
You want to attract a MF Queen….
Then you cannot just pretend to play King….
You gotta be one.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Want to learn how to attract your Queen?
Want to know what it means to be a King in life and relationships.
It’s a vibrational thing baby.
It’s about embracing your worthiness and loving yourself.
male or female,
This is where our power comes from.
Let me share with you the journey to THRIVING.
Message me for deet’s.
YOU GIVE ME PERMISSION TO LIVE…
Here is something that I get told frequently.
Especially right now with everything that is going on in our world.
And it is amazing that people refuse to give themselves permission to live. I mean shit…. IT IS YOUR LIFE…
and it is the only one that you have to live.
“cuz even if pastlives are a real thing,
THIS LIFE is still the one you are living right now and will have memories of as you move through your years.
So you’re sittin’ on your pretty little or big ass dreaming about living,
but making up reasons as to why you cannot,
and maybe you are just simply scared of living,
because you believe all the propaganda going around right now to keep you in a state of fear,
the reality is still the same….
THIS IS YOUR ONLY F-CKING LIFE.
And you love,
you are the only one who can live it.
Therefore it is up to you and only you to give yourself permission to do just that.
All this fear that is being stacked up against you is bullshit.
Do you get that?
Interesting little fact,
you are more likely to win the lottery than to catch this popular newly spoken of virus that is going around.Yeah, according to recent updates from the CDC this virus that you are staying home for and have chosen to stop living your life over has only a 0.2% death rate. That means that you have twice the chance of catching it as you do getting struck by lightning depending on where in the world you live.
Maybe we should all stay on home arrest during thunderstorms and stop the world…
In truth, this share has nothing to do with COVID.
Or the crazy shut downs and world destruction that is happening because of it,
it is however about you using yet something else to make an excuse to not live your amazing life.
COVID is just your most current reason,
and you have the world craze and lack of logic to support your own lack of logic and fear of stepping up to the plate and breathing into your power.
You right now have media support,
telling you that you should stop living.
You should stop loving your life.
You should fear your friends and family,
your neighbors and the strangers at the store.
And that it is OKAY to not have courage.
Courage to live.
Courage to say yes to your life and your power.
But when COVID is gone….
and it will be gone at some point because with a 0.2% death rate it will not be in the frontlines of control forever,
WHAT WILL YOU LEAN ON THEN TO SAY NO TO LIVING YOUR LIFE?
Let’s talk about this reality.
‘Cus you know that there will be something.
You always find something,
and then you watch others out there living and thriving,
loving and growing,
and you feel your heart lower,
you feel your gut turn,
and your soul yell at you,
and you block them all.
It hurts too much to bear the pain.
That suffering of not living to your maximum potential.
It’s a MF B*tch!
I get it.
I use to walk through life like this,
and I made excuses daily for it.
Then one day I got sick and tired of my suffering and my weak ass approach to my own world.
I chose differently.
I woke up, you could say and realized that time did not care about my excuses and damn good reasons as to why I was waiting to live.
Time did not wait for me.
Time did not give a rat’s rear end about my fears.
And it does not care about yours either.
There is your reality check of the day.
So when I hear someone say to me,
“Kendal you live life to the fullest, I wish I could do that.”
“Just Do It Then.”
And when they say,
“I am waiting till the perfect moment to start living. I have this thing I am working on right now.”
“Stop That. You will work through whatever that is far quicker if you learn to say yes to living and yourself, and show yourself some f-cking love instead of replaying that negative record over and over again.”
And when they say,
“Someday, someday I will find the courage. Someday I will be ready to step out and do the things that I want.”
“What are you waiting for? Lighting to strike you. Because your chances of that happening is about 0.2% odds for every one million, if you live in Europe. You might have more luck getting struck in Asia or Africa, like in Zimbabwe, where it can be 100’s of times higher. Good luck!”
If you are one of these beautiful souls that is terrified to start living right now,
let this message today be a spiritual base bat,
Your life is not going to wait for you love.
Your life it is happening no matter how you feel about it,
no matter where your comfort is or not.
And the fact is the same for all of us on this planet.
We all are give the same amount of hours in each day,
what we choose to do with them is ours only.
Life is a risky game that we were each born into and play each day that we wake to our hearts beating and our lungs filling with air.
No such thing as risk free living.
Sheltered at home,
exploring the world,
opening to love,
or closing down our hearts.
It’s all a risk.
What matters is your happiness and fulfillment.
Are you happy?
Are you fulfilled?
If you died today would you be able to say you have no regrets?
But if I, Kendal Williams can give you permission to start living the life that God/Universe blessed with an opportunity to enjoy and live, well then so be it…
You have my blessing and permission to GO LIVE.
Well Go On Then…
Oh wait…. You found another reason huh?
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Reach out to me to learn about how you can turn one minute a day into magick. The Magick Minute Program to manifest your desired life with ease.