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You Are Worthy Of Authentic Love.

 
It’s high time beautiful that you STOP the silliness of always saying yes when you mean no.
 
Yeah I see you over there.
faking that smile.
Faking that reaction.
Feeling like you have too,
when in truth you just simply are not all that in to that shiz.
 
But you still say yes.
You say yes because its programmed into you to say yes.
You say yes because you don’t want to rock the boat,
you do not want to cause a confrontation,
you most certainly don’t want to feel separation.
 
What does it matter any way?
Your opinion, your needs or desires.
You are a nice person.
You are not greedy.
You are not selfish.
You put other’s first.
Just the way you were taught.
 
I get it.
 
The issue is that you are dried up.
You are worn out.
You just keep saying yes and thinking that your yes will fill you up because giving is so good.
 
Except you forgot to give to the most important person beautiful.
 
You forgot to take care of the most valuable player in your life.
 
YOU.
 
And so you now have so little of you left to give.
You are fatigued,
lost and off centered.
You don’t have the stamina or energy to keep going and you most likely are questioning if you can.
 
But you just said another inauthentic yes to someone,
and so you must.
You must keep your head up and smile.
 
You are afraid that if you state your truth.
If you say NO –
that this relationship you are giving yourself away for will be no more.
You are afraid you will be judged, criticized, hurt someones feelings, or worse yet be abandoned by them.
 
If you really stop and feel into this,
you should see the silliness of this idea.
If this relationship is meant to be,
if it is a friendship,
a love based relationship,
a relationship that is based on truth and trust…
then why would it go away just because you are a no to something?
 
Now, if the relationship is based simply on you doing what the other wants and needs at all cost,
and you not getting your needs met,
or there is zero allowance for your authenticity,
then perhaps it is high time that you reconsider the value of this relationship in your life.
 
Perhaps you should look at this relationship and question what exactly you are making yourself available for and WHY?
 
Does this relationship make you happy?
Does it fulfill you?
Do you feel like this relationship is equally yoked?
 
Or are you just bending over backward out of fear of being alone.
Out of fear of loss.
Fear that there is nothing better than this,
that you are not deserving of it?
 
Well, I want you to realize that YOU ARE WORTHY of love.
 
And any relationship that says that it is love but demands you to NOT be authentic to get this love, is NOT LOVE.
 
It’s a LIE.
 
You deserve much better than this.
And deep in your heart you know it is true.
It is what pulls at you when you find yourself holding yourself and trying to comfort yourself when you actually need the arms of your relationship.
 
It is that sick feeling that comes up in your stomach when you say yes to something but you know that it is not really for you, but you do it anyway.
 
It is that nervousness or that physical constriction that manifests itself when you agree and push yourself to be/do something that you are not.
 
YES YOU KNOW.
 
And it is truly high time that you STOP the silliness of saying yes when you are actually a no.
 
In saying your authentic truth you will gain respect,
you will feel more confidence,
you will be embraced more by life and others,
you will be trustworthy.
And guess what those people that DO LOVE YOU,
will still be there.
The one’s who were only there for your hand outs, your service and how you made them feel without care of you,
well they will no longer be there.
 
Or they will see you differently and love you for your truth.
 
Either way,
you are worthy of true love.
But in order for you to have it,
you have to start being true to yourself.
And love yourself enough to speak your heart.
 
Say YES.
Say YES to YOU.
Not to everyone else.
 
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
It’s time that you start to say YES to the most important person in the room beautiful. It’s time that you accept your worth, and step onto this path that your SOUL is calling you too.
I know how hard the steps may appear.
I know that you are fearful, that you doubt if you have what it takes to make this shiz happen for you or not.
But I promise you that YOU can do it.
You can have it.The first step though is to recognize that you must let go and have faith in your process of getting there.
Listen to your SOUL and follow it’s lead.
Imagine having a coach who has been on a similar path guide you, help you discover the deeper meanings of what soul is wanting you to know.
What would it feel like to have that sort of support and guidance?
You can have this.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Private mentoring and coaching today.
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WHEN HUMAN BECOMES SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE.

WHEN HUMAN BECOMES SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE.
 
Can you imagine a world where being human is accepted?
Where there is no fear or shame in the color of our skin or the color of our lovers skin?
 
Can you imagine a world where there is no shame in your sexual preferences?
And people don’t feel like they need to be something to “fit in” or be cool?
 
Can you imagine a world where our emotions actually matter? Where what we feel counts for something?
 
Can you imagine a world where children have rights too?
A world where children are not treated like less than human, like property or a domesticated or farm animal?
 
Can you imagine a world where we give a shiz about the psychological issues that can be caused and the emotional or physical suffering of another human being MORE THAN how much money can be profited form something?
 
Can you imagine a world where you ACTUALLY have a right to CHOOSE what you do with your body?
 
Can you imagine a world where neighbors share more than just alley ways and walkways, but actually are friends?
 
Can you imagine a world where a man of ANY effing color can pick up trash on his property and not be interrogated at gun point by the police?
 
Can you imagine a world where mutilation and rape were not considered normal? But instead loving your body and each other were.
 
Can you imagine a world where people can share a kiss in public and not have everyone around them cringe and huff?
 
Can you imagine a world where when a parent learns that something has happened to their child that is not good, that they STOP and LISTEN to their child instead of hide from the events?
 
Can you imagine a world where we the people of the world actually give a true shiz about the world and about our fellow humans?
 
Can you imagine a world where being happy is not frowned up on and one is not asked why are you so happy as if there is something wrong with them?
 
Can you imagine a world where a man can pay a woman a compliment or hold a door open and not be accused of sexual assault?
 
Can you imagine a world where you can discipline your child without CPS showing up at your door because someone heard you raise your voice or saw you swat a bottom?
 
Can you imagine a world where a therapist can hug a client that is falling apart at the seems and does not get their license suspended?
 
Can you imagine a world where education matters, not just test scores?
 
Can you imagine a world where where entitlement is not a thing, but belief in yourself matters everything?
 
This is a small list.
18 things that you can imagine if being human was socially acceptable.
 
Somewhere in our history we have forgotten our humanness.
 
We look back at tales of our past.
We look at Nazi Germany, concentration camps.
We look at Vietnam and the Cold War.
We look at the wars between countries to overthrow powers, to take over land.
We look at the starving children in other back yards.
We look everywhere but right in front of our own faces.
 
We do not see the misery,
the in-justice,
the stupidity,
and the history on repeat.
 
We do not recognize it because we are blinded by fear.
We are fearful of our neighbors.
We are fearful of our truth.
 
And what we do with it is sad.
We turn away from our humanness.
We hide and we let loose of our liberties,
our rights and then we wonder how these things just keep getting worse.
 
I am going to share an intimacy with you.
I do what I do,
boldly the way that I do because I refuse to be what I call a sheeple.
I refuse to let my life be washed over by fear.
I refuse to NOT BE the change that I wish to see in this world.
I refuse to not follow the light.
 
Jesus, Gandhi, Buddha, Mother Teresa, Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King, Our Founding Fathers of the USA – All of them, Abe Lincoln, Kennedy and so many others.
This list is long.
 
These souls,
you know what they wanted to teach?
HUMANNESS.
 
To be human means that you embrace that you are the custodian of this world and you play a significant role in the lives of all your fellow humans.
 
I do what I do boldly, unapologetically because WE THE PEOPLE OF PLANET EARTH need a f-cking wake up call!
 
It is my mission to be of service in helping YOU, and you, and you over there, to pull your head out of the sand and to stand BOLDLY in who you are.
 
Its the reason I write from soul.
I speak from soul.
I coach from soul.
Its the reason I get up each morning.
I believe in YOU.
 
I believe in HUMAN KIND.
Crazy as that sounds on some days.
I do believe in us.
 
But I could use your help.
Just like this world,
could use you WANTING to FIND YOUR POWER and wanting to live a life where you THRIVE.
 
No one can do this for any of us.
We each must do it for self.
And by working on self,
we heal this planet.
We heal our people.
The people of planet earth.
 
We are all family.
Let’s not forget this.
 
Get educated.
Pay attention.
Stop hiding.
Embrace who you are,
and stop F-cking Around!
 
As always,
Stop existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
It’s time that you start to say YES to the most important person in the room beautiful. It’s time that you accept your worth, and step onto this path that your SOUL is calling you too.
 
I know how hard the steps may appear.
I know that you are fearful, that you doubt if you have what it takes to make this shiz happen for you or not.
 
But I promise you that YOU can do it.
You can have it.The first step though is to recognize that you must let go and have faith in your process of getting there.
 
Listen to your SOUL and follow it’s lead.
 
Imagine having a coach who has been on a similar path guide you, help you discover the deeper meanings of what soul is wanting you to know.
 
What would it feel like to have that sort of support and guidance?
 
You can have this.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Private mentoring and coaching today.

Conscious Coffee with Kendal- Children, Racism, The War on Women =The Retardation of Our World Plus Other Things No One Wants To Be Open On


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NOT REALLY 100% INVESTED ARE YOU? AT LEAST NOT THIS YEAR – Maybe Next???

NOT REALLY 100% INVESTED ARE YOU? AT LEAST NOT THIS YEAR – Maybe Next???

I ask a question of people on my applications to work with me, it goes like this:

Are you willing to invest in your coaching process fully if we decide to work together?

And the options are:

*Yes! Absolutely. I fully understand the power of investing into myself and committing to the process.

* I am unsure as to what I want or my commitment level.
* No, I am just exploring options at this time.

The majority of the people who fill out my application, no matter what their truth may be click on option one.
They proclaim that they understand the power of investing in themselves FULLY and what commitment is.

Funny thing happens though once they are faced with their truth. Or their financial situation. Or their lack of worth. Or their FEAR. This is a big effing one.
They retreat.
They make excuses.
They do everything they can to hide from the f-cking fact that they don’t want it bad enough for themselves.

Now you most likely are thinking,
“That’s not me, Kendal, I want it. I want it more than anything. I am 100% invested in whatever I need to do or make happen to have the life that I desire and know I was born to live. ”

Are you sure?

Because I am willing to wager that you are not as invested or committed to self as you believe that you are.
I am saying this because I see you.
I see you making the statements.
And proclaiming that you want this, and this and this too.
And I see you getting side tracked.
I see life getting in your way.
I see your beautiful,
logical reasons that you are offering up as to why you have not done this or that.
Yeah I see you.
I see how you are short changing yourself.

And here is the real deal beautiful,
YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE THAN WHAT YOU ARE ALLOWING FOR YOURSELF.

But you will NEVER have it if you do not stop effing around and avoiding the opportunities to have it because you are scared of having it.

You are scared aren’t you?

Its manifesting itself as concern.
Its coming up as worry, and fatigue, and chaos.
And you continue to pretend that everything is okay.
You run along and just keep acting like life is all groovy,
that you got your shiz in order and that you don’t really need the help. But then you say I need help. I don’t understand. I cannot get movement here, this is sucking over here.

You proclaim, “I AM READY FOR A CHANGE.”

And so you call in the opportunity.
And then you cry about the commitment.
You turn your nose up at the investment.
You make an excuse.

You know what matters more to you then your desire,
than your happiness,
than whatever it is that you are claiming you want?

The bottom dollar means more.
The what’s this going to cost me.
You walk into the land of change with the objection of price, and you are under some damn idea that it should be gifted to you and Oh Yeah It should not mean that you have to apply yourself to making the change.

Let’s not forget that.

You want me to do what?
Spend how much time on my inner work?
Commit to what with my partner/spouse?
You want me to actually take action?

Nah, I don’t want it that bad this year.
Maybe next.
When I have made my million dollars then I will revisit this.
When I am stable emotionally, financially, physically then I will explore this.

I don’t have (fill in the blank) right now to do this.

Honey, if this is you I am writing about realize that with that sort of mindset and lack of commitment the thing you are wanting to have happen WILL NEVER HAPPEN.

Do you get how miracles happen?
They happen when we expect them too.
When we open ourselves through faith and putting ourselves up to the test. You have to not just step but LEAP if you want a miracle.

Making excuses will never get you this or the life that you want.
Matter a fact, if you want to know how much something of this potency is going to cost you here is the actual answer that you need to digest and sit with:

If you don’t do it – It will cost you YOUR LIFE. Your EVERYTHING.

Because you know what you have been doing,
You know where it has gotten you,
You feel what it feel’s like to be living this way,
and you are hungry.
So if you keep doing what you have always done,
YOU WILL STARVE!

So may people are under the assumption that if you just sit in a certain position,
think great thoughts and breathe a certain way that you never have to actually get off your ass and do something to manifest your dreams and goals.

So many other people, believe that if they just keep doing what they have been doing and work harder, scrimp more and freak out more that they will be successful in time and have the life that they want.

MOFO – NEWSFLASH!

Neither is accurate.
Neither will lead to your greatest, happiest life.

You are out of alignment in both cases,
and you are not taking the action that your SOUL wants you too.

So WTF do you do beautiful?

This is up to YOU!

My suggestion is get REAL.
Get COMMITTED.
Make the MOFO INVESTMENT.
Stop making excuses and continuing to do the same things expecting different results,
this is crazy.

But what do I know?

I don’t know you, and perhaps you don’t know you.
That is most likely the root of your issue beautiful.

And As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
Coaching For Grwon A*s Believers

It’s time that you start to say YES to the most important person in the room beautiful. It’s time that you accept your worth, and step onto this path that your SOUL is calling you too.

I know how hard the steps may appear.
I know that you are fearful, that you doubt if you have what it takes to make this shiz happen for you or not.

But I promise you that YOU can do it.
You can have it.The first step though is to recognize that you must let go and have faith in your process of getting there.

Listen to your SOUL and follow it’s lead.

Imagine having a coach who has been on a similar path guide you, help you discover the deeper meanings of what soul is wanting you to know.

What would it feel like to have that sort of support and guidance?

You can have this.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Private mentoring and coaching today.

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TRAUMA GREW MY ROSE GARDEN AND GRATITUDE WATERS IT.

TRAUMA GREW MY ROSE GARDEN AND GRATITUDE WATERS IT.

Today is a really interesting day for me.
It marks my one year of one of the most traumatic events I have had happen in a relationship so far. It also marks my one year of a massive transformation period, new growth and opportunity blended with trauma and needed healing.

Today I sit here at Starbucks after dropping my youngest son off to his father ( the man I fell out of relationship a year ago today).
It was brutal to drop him off today.
My heart actually still hurts from this mornings exchange.

Our son age four, ran to the back seat of my car as we pulled into daddy’s driveway and he screamed, “I don’t want to go to daddy’s house.” he got so frustrated, clung to the rear seat with all the force his little body could muster and screamed, “No Mommy.”

I grabbed him up, hugged him. Told him that I loved him and that I would see him later today and then he would be back at mommy’s house on Wednesday. He clung to my neck and fought profusely to hold on to me as his father took him out of my arms.

I never wanted any of this for my baby.
I don’t believe that any of us parents ever want this sort of emotional pain on our children. I don’t believe that my ex desires this trauma to come up on our son either.
And yet it still falls here.

Today, I find myself sitting here upset at my son’s pain.
Wishing I could do more for him.
Wishing that us adults who have brought this on him could have communicated better about what we wanted from each other and how we wanted out of our relationship before it came to violence as it did and a nasty, terrorizing breakup that will last a life time for our children emotionally not to mention the physical repercussions that are still being dealt with for myself.

I sit here still wondering how I could not have realized more so as to where my ex was at.
Wondering why he had to act out in violence and rage the way he did one year ago today.
Why it was so important for him to push me and all the children away with such extreme measures.
Why could he just not simply say that he wanted out and we move onto separate paths in peace and harmony, working together for the greatest good of all the children and each other.

I knew he was unhappy in our relationship.
I knew he wanted out.
He did not even desire to want to spend 30 minutes a week with me alone even though this had become a consistent request and desire of mine. He could not stomach to sit by me and watch TV, he wanted nothing to do with cuddling or sex that was two sided, only wanted to get off and be done. Would roll away in disgust after pushing me away like trash after he had reached climax.
He became rageful with friends and emotionally and physically aggressive toward his step-children. He was hateful and I told myself that he was stressed about work, money, health, anything but the truth was what I proclaimed.

The signs were there.
They were in front of my blind eyes and desire to make it all work for us.
The more committed I became to our relationship and requested time and connection,
the more he pushed away in anger.

And now,
a year later I see the truth.
I see his pattern that he had to enforce.
I see the pain that he must be in.
And I am grateful that even though that was a brutal time and experience,
even though there is still much healing that needs done for self and children.

I am grateful that I never lost who I was,
I never lost love,
I never lost my family or friends,
and I can do the healing and I understand at a deep level the power of emotions,
the importance of knowing self and NOT hiding from myself and feelings.
I am grateful that I was given a powerful opportunity last year to stand up and be 100% me.
The last year has offered me so many blessings that would have never come about had he not caved to his patterns and needs to push love away, to push so hard that he was the one to be abandoned in the experience by everyone. To repeat the trauma from his youth. And to create an experience that supported his belief that the feminine always leaves him.

I see now how he had to push that hard.
I am too stubborn to leave when I still love.
I believed it could be fixed,
I believed that he was not lying when he said that he loved me more than anyone else.
I strangely believed in us and in him.

But today,
today I stand in gratitude for the 7 years of learning,
of experience and growth,
for the birth of my two youngest angels that i would not trade for anything.

Today I stand here in gratitude for his push.
Busted up body and everything,
it was worth it.
Because I found my true strength.
I found my heart.
My SOUL.
And tapped into allowing myself, to be me without needing another.
There is great beauty in the darkest of clouds if you allow yourself to see it and you allow time to step you back far enough to see the whole sky and it’s beauty.

Life is one BIG TRUST EXERCISE.
And today,
I am reminded of the trust and faith that I had to muster up at one of my lowest, scariest points in life so far.
Today, I choose to focus on that reminder.
To focus on the gratitude and the opportunities that have come from this event, like any event in our lives.
Today I choose to look at my blessed life.
The steady massive love that I experience from family, friends and the wonderful man I have in my life currently.
The AMAZING tribe that I have developed and all the growth that I am seeing in my business and life.
The wealth of connection, joy and the laughter that resides in my home daily that was not there a year ago or before.
My creativity at an all time high.
The beauty and bounty that is in each step on this journey.

Today I want to say THANK YOU to the man that tossed me to the side last year, who tried to destroy me and all that we had built together.
From that rubble grew a rose garden.

MY ROSE GARDEN.

Thank you for my pain.
Thank you for my suffering.
Thank you for the trauma.
Thank you for the goodbye.
I am so effing happy with my life TODAY!

My question to you that I share this with today is,
what are you doing with your trauma, drama and pain? Does it hold you back or build you up?

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

It’s time that you start to say YES to the most important person in the room beautiful. It’s time that you accept your worth, and step onto this path that your SOUL is calling you too.

I know how hard the steps may appear.
I know that you are fearful, that you doubt if you have what it takes to make this shiz happen for you or not.

But I promise you that YOU can do it.
You can have it.The first step though is to recognize that you must let go and have faith in your process of getting there.

Listen to your SOUL and follow it’s lead.

Imagine having a coach who has been on a similar path guide you, help you discover the deeper meanings of what soul is wanting you to know.

What would it feel like to have that sort of support and guidance?

You can have this.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Private mentoring and coaching today.

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It’s Makes Your Feel Alive But It Steals Your Dreams.

You are broke.
You are lost.
You feel like there is no way out of the rut that you are in.
You keep thinking about your bills, your responsibilities and they are overwhelming. There is so much out pour to your current life picture. You are energetically, financially, emotionally in the red. And it seems that no matter what you attempt to do to get things moving the other direction,
it just turns too shiz.

You want so very badly to live a life where this worry and fear is no more.
You want to authentically smile and laugh again.
You have felt this joy.
This comfort, before.
There is still a faint flavor on your lips if you sit real still and let yourself taste it.
But there is no time to sit still.
There is no time to breathe.
There are only bills, and creditors, responsibilities and mouths to feed.

Everything you hear tells you to calm yourself.
All the spiritual texts tell you to steady yourself in your faith.
You want to believe that you have faith.
You know that it is somewhere inside of you.
But right now you are addicted to the fear.
You are addicted to the not having,
and you are caught in this crazy loop of emotion where you bounce from fearing of loosing everything and what are you going to do to prevent it from happening to okay I got this and then sadness over runs you and then anger about nothing working and no one caring, back to overwhelm and fear you go.

Your boat is sinking and the sharks are hungrily awaiting.
But what can you do.

You hear the advice.
You feel the call.
You logically get it, and yet not.
You doubt it.
You don’t truly believe that it is that simple,
and you do not believe it because you have not allowed yourself the time to reprogram your thoughts and beliefs.
You make these half ass attempts to do the work,
the true work,
the inner work.
But then you forget.
You get to busy, too caught up in this or that and you let the chaos over take you. All the while you internally stand in fear.

But that voice,
that quiet little voice of peace whispers to you.
I know you know the voice.
You don’t believe that it is correct,
but what if it is?

What if all you have had to do this entire time is to free fall into life.
What if all you ever had to do was the trust exercise.
Yes that’s what it is always about.
It is never about anything else beautiful.
It is just one big trust exercise.
God wants you to put your life in his hands.
God wants you to just rest in trust.

can you do that?
Do you have enough faith?
Does your desire, your dream life enough,
mean enough to TRUST?

Or…
Are you going to remain stubborn and sacrifice EVERYTHING?

The trust that God wants from you is not just to let go and do nothing,
No.
You still must apply yourself.
You still must take action.
You still must do the work.
The inner work.
The mindset work.
The emotional frequency work.
The action of opening up door ways,
accessing opportunities.
Saying YES to yourself.
And allowing your abundance to come to you.

This is what you have been resisting.
This is what you have been sacrificing.
And why?

Because you feel alive in your resistance.
The resistance makes you feel more,
want more, desire more.
Look at the adventures you are having in your resistance.
Look at what you are learning about your desire.
Look at the beauty of what you consider struggle.
You NEED to feel alive.
You need to find your alignment to everything that you want,
but to do this you MUST first know what you do not want.
You must learn to feel what your lack of resistance feels like.
By feeling your resistance.

And from this place of breathing in life.
feeling alive in what you are perceiving,
you get to learn more about your faith.
And letting go.

Yes God wants you to LET GO.
Let GO in faith,
and stop resisting your abundance.

Say YES to that SOUL CALL to take the action to do the THING that you know that you must do.

Stop the EXCUSES that you are making around doing the THING that you know you must do.

Know that it is selfish and irresponsible to NOT do the THING that you feel most called to do by SOUL.

When you SAY YES to what your SOUL leads and guides you to do, no matter how crazy, silly or irresponsible it may feel, if it is SOUL led,
then it will support your abundance. It will open you to less and less resistance.

But this is having FAITH.
This is standing in SOUL GUIDANCE.

Are you willing to leap?
Are you willing to listen to your soul’s call and guidance?

Will you SAY YES to your abundance and stop making excuses?

Or will you settle for what you have been creating as your norm?

The choice is yours.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

It’s time that you start to say YES to the most important person in the room beautiful. It’s time that you accept your worth, and step onto this path that your SOUL is calling you too.

I know how hard the steps may appear.
I know that you are fearful, that you doubt if you have what it takes to make this shiz happen for you or not.

But I promise you that YOU can do it.
You can have it.The first step though is to recognize that you must let go and have faith in your process of getting there.

Listen to your SOUL and follow it’s lead.

Imagine having a coach who has been on a similar path guide you, help you discover the deeper meanings of what soul is wanting you to know.

What would it feel like to have that sort of support and guidance?

You can have this.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Private mentoring and coaching today.

Posted on

GO IN EASE – RESISTANCE IN FUTILE.

GO IN EASE – RESISTANCE IS FUTILE
 
You hold on for dear life.
You know that you just need to let go,
you know how important it is to your whole future,
to your success, your love, your happiness, your fulfillment.
And yet you find yourself white knuckling everything.
Holding on with a fierce grip to everything that you know at your core is holding you back, preventing you from living life fulling out loud and unapologetic the way that SOUL demands of you.
You ponder the questions,
you look deep within, and you sit and analyze.
In all your questioning you find yourself even more lost then when you got started. And to make matters even worse you also can now see your fault in everything.
You can see how you are the cause for your suffering.
You pain, your lack of not having. It is in no one else’s hands but your very own and you see it clearly. But, still do not know how to let go.
 
And so you blame.
You feel shame for the things that you are causing,
that you are allowing, and for how you are not stepping fully the f-ck into your life.
You feel guilt for letting those you love down,
and have trouble looking yourself in the eye’s in the morning.
You want to run, you desire to hide.
You have thoughts of quitting.
You feel as though everything you touch turns to crap.
And yet still you hold onto everything you have with gusto.
 
The more you squeeze the life out of your dreams and goals,
the more you try and force them to manifest.
You dig in deeper,
you root your heals into the earth and you proclaim that you will work harder, show up more often, try new things, refocus your energy this way or that.
You feel the call at your core to simply LET GO.
You know that this can all be dealt with in no time flat.
Miracles are at your door step asking to be received,
but you turn them away because YOU MUST WORK FOR THIS THING. YOU MUST EARN IT.
 
You hear the words of ease and flow.
You believe it for everyone but YOU.
You see it working.
But you cave to your addiction of looking for the results and applying all your focus on what is not showing up.
Only turn inward and get angry, upset and depressed at your actions, at what you are causing.
 
This is all your fault and you know it at your core.
 
Those negative thoughts,
that doubt and fear.
They yell at you in the damnedest of times,
it’s hard to laugh, to play, to enjoy.
It difficult to enjoy the connection, the love, the support.
You see it.
You are grateful for it.
But it is fleeting.
Much like your faith in yourself.
But what is strong is your disgust.
Your anger and fear.
These negative emotions they know how to comfort you.
They support you,
or so it feels.
And you lay down with them and curl up in their arms.
Promising yourself that you will stop doing this.
Assuring yourself that you will do the damn thing that you know that you MUST DO, to have the life that is calling to you.
 
Your SOUL is crying out.
And you feel even more lost,
even in the comfort of this suffering you know that you are lost. You know that it is not suppose to be this hard.
You know that the challenge is self-created.
 
And to LET GO is the only thing that you must do.
In letting go, you will discover all your power, you will commit to who you truly are.
Here you will discover your natural way,
and get caught in the currents of abundance and love.
You will have no resistance,
because you have FINALLY chosen what you have always known and finally done the damn thing that has been calling to you.
 
It is this moment.
It is this moment where you find yourself on your knees,
your eye’s are welled up with tears and your hands are open wide.
Here you are FINALLY READY to be READY to receive.
And God desires to open the heavens to you beautiful.
 
Your first step to this SURRENDER is to go in ease with yourself.
 
Realize that you are human,
that you have an ego,
that you are learning how these moments,
like all moments are opportunities to know yourself better,
to heal deeper and to open wider.
The first step to your path has always been,
and will always remain the same,
BE IN EASE.
 
The ease of embracing yourself.
The ease of surrendering to your flow.
The ease of opening and receiving.
The ease of accepting that this too shall pass.
The ease of NOT making mountains out of mole hills.
The ease of just BEING YOU.
 
Let go in EASE Beautiful.
Let go and let your SOUL move you to your next step.
Let SOUL bring you to the path that will have the least amount of resistance.
Let go and watch the miracles form.
 
Let go of that death grip that YOU have on your heart and soul. On your dreams and goals.
On your abundance.
Your joy.
 
You ,
yes you are smothering yourself.
And ONLY YOU can let go.
But you must do it in EASE.
Have compassion beautiful for yourself.
Give love to yourself for walking the journey that you have.
 
You are YOU because of the steps that you have walked.
Appreciate each and every one.
And LET GO.
God has your back.
 
As Always
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
It’s time that you start to say YES to the most important person in the room beautiful.
It’s time that you accept your worth,
and step onto this path that your SOUL is calling you too.
I know how hard the steps may appear.
I know that you are fearful,
that you doubt if you have what it takes to make this shiz happen for you or not.
But I promise you that YOU can do it.
You can have it.The first step though is to recognize that you must let go and have faith in your process of getting there.
Listen to your SOUL and follow it’s lead.
Imagine having a coach who has been on a similar path guide you, help you discover the deeper meanings of what soul is wanting you to know.
What would it feel like to have that sort of support and guidance?
You can have this.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Private mentoring and coaching today.
Posted on

Why Is She So Perfect?

Radiant.
Glowing.
Smiling and happy.
 
Why is she so perfect?
In love with life,
and life is in love with her.
The gift of life.
The gift of joy,
of family, community and love.
The gift to be able to provide a moment to those she loves.
 
Yes she is so perfect.
She is you and you are her.
She lives within your soul.
She asks to be seen,
more of then all that you often choose to share.
Her light,
her wisdom,
her happiness.
Desire to be seen.
Her heart wants nothing more than your embrace,
To touch and love,
to sing and dance.
 
Yes she is so perfect.
 
That angelic light, radiating from deep within.
It hides nothing,
reveals everything.
and is ignited by life.
Her wings are bold,
their spread is wide.
They carry her hopes, her dreams and aspirations.
They protect and nurture,
they support and shield.
Her wings,
are yours.
Embrace them and fly.
 
Why is she so perfect?
She is you and you are her.
United forever but must be revealed.
The soul of an angel,
the passion of a beast.
The wisdom of sages,
the courage of a warrior.
 
Why is she so perfect?
I will tell you her secret.
I will share right here.
 
She is perfect.
Yes indeed.
Because she is WHO YOU ARE.
She is SOUL.
She is TRUTH.
But to listen beautiful,
you must allow.
You must surrender and learn to love once again.
You must open and be flexible,
you must not desire to hide no more.
You must find your FAITH once more,
to spread those wings,
to shine that light.
You must step into WHO YOU ARE.
 
She is perfect.
She is you and you are her.
A divine and beautiful creature.
When tapped in and turned on,
You Ignite this dark World
You bring hope and joy to all those you touch,
they flock to you,
they hunger to hear your words,
to be touched by your message
and lifted up to theirs.
 
Yes, she is perfect.
because she is daring.
Because she loves true.
Because she knows herself.
Because she fears but does not hide.
Because she doubts but does not quit.
Because she looks into her eye’s,
she see’s her pain,
she see’s her fear,
she’ rests in FAITH.
 
She is perfect.
She is you and you are her.
But First beautiful,
YOU MUST BELIEVE.
 
Rest in your surrender to SOUL.
Find comfort in your raw vulnerability.
Passion in your courage and fear.
And footing in the LEAP YOU ARE TAKING.
 
Leap Beautiful,
Leap and free fall,
for your wings were designed to catch you,
you and this dark world,
that you are meant to lift up.
To share.
To teach.
To spread the light and love.
Yes leap beautiful.
 
Leap and Trust in Your Wings.
 
——————— 🙌 ——————————–
 
This picture I share today is a snipped pic from a video that my daughter took two years ago. She put the title of “Why is she so Perfect” on the video and across the stream. To feel my daughters love and adoration like this is one thing, but my realization in her share of this memory is one I had to share with YOU today.
 
I write this message above for me.
I write it for you too beautiful.
Female or male, ‘we are all beautiful.
We are all worthy.
We all have a message.
And my message never changes to you.
 
It STAND UP, SPEAK OUT, and THRIVE.
 
Accept your worth.
Accept your power.
Accept WHO YOU ARE.
 
 
And Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Imagine letting go of your fear,
letting go of your shame.
What would your life be like if you were working with a mentor that could help you level up your life and let go of all those things that no longer serve you?
What would you like to release? Let go of and create for your EMPOWERED Life?
 
Let’s talk.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Coaching today.
 
 
 
 
Posted on

Childhood Sexual Abuse Is More Real Than You Want To Acknowledge, and So You Hide.

I just want to say that our system is F-CKED!!!!
I mean seriously f-cked.

Today I write with a heart that is frustrated, upset and emotional.

Today my heart goes out to all those who have experienced or who know that abuse is happening and can do nothing about it.

The victims.
The one’s who want to protect, but find their hands tied.
Yes I feel you.
I see you.
I know the troubled heart that you carry.
There is nothing worse then to witness abuse of any sort happening and be told you cannot do a damn thing about it.
To hear the cries.
To see the bruises.
and be told that its not real.

Sit down and brace yourselves.
I am going to share an intimacy from my day,
an intimacy that is not fun,
is not humorous,
and most certainly not just.

I have family that is being abused.
Sexually abused.
Three little boys,
age 2, 4 and 5 who are being physically abused,
sexually abused, starved, beaten, left with a known predator and their cries are IGNORED.

By their mother,
their grandparents,
extended family,
the police.
CPS.
Attorneys just want money,
no care as to child well being.
Everyone who knows says, ” I don’t want to get involved.”

And so the abuse continues.
And so the trauma continues.
And these boys,
these boys now hide with their horror that their uncle brings to them each week.
Now they learn that it is okay,
“He is your uncle, we love him, he can do what he wants.”

WTF!!!!!
Our system is F-CKED!!!!

And for those who think this could not happen in this day and age,
I promise you this is a true story.
This man who is doing this has a record,
it was before he was 18 years old so no one knows of it.
It is ignored.
As if by some miracle that when he turned 18 things would change his sick mental state of being.
His distorted hunger.

Who the f-ck plays “the penis game” with kids?
What sort of adult man,
or any adult for that matter,
takes little boys and bites their penis as a f-cking game?

Sick a*shole!

It is rare that I find such disgust for anyone,
but today I sit here after such great hope that CPS would see the light with this being a third report,
sweep in and do something.
At least prevent further abuse till the judge could settle things between the parents,
but no.

They choose to disregard.
To claim there is no abuse.
That its crying wolf.

I guess bruises on a 5 year old’s penis and stories of uncle playing the penis game are normal.
I guess that the signs that the boys show of abuse are imagined.
I guess that the only thing that matters is what?

The attorney’s and the money.
The let’s avoid paperwork, its Thursday, too close to the weekend.

Seriously!

And then, you know what I know is that in 15, 20, 30, 40+ years from now, when these boys are men, that they will have so much inner work to do to heal.
They will have to work through idea’s of suicide,
murder, not knowing their sexual personality.
They will have to learn even more than the rest of us about love and what it is and what it is not. And hopefully will not follow down a path like their uncle.

We wonder where the predators come from.
We wonder why our youth has the hate crimes,
why abuse is climbing and not spoken about until it’s too late. We wonder why mental health states is tipsy, questionable. Suicide rates are high.

This is why people!

We choose to take the easier path on almost everything we do. No matter the harm that it may cause.

We choose to ignore.
We choose to hide.
We choose to NOT SPEAK OUT!
We choose to shut down.
We choose to not stand up for hose who cannot stand up for themselves, because it’s not our problem.
We choose to have misguided loyalty.
We choose to not do the freaking paperwork.
We choose to let lives be destroyed.
Children harmed.

We have created a system that support the expansion of trauma.

And we think it’s great!
Because it’s not our kid.
It’s not our family.
It’s not US.

It’s not YOU.

And sure this topic today is one that is too effing close to my heart and daily life right now.

But I have clients that have lived through this abuse.
I work with men,
with women,
who spend a lifetime trying to overcome the damage that was caused by such events and worse.
The stories that I have heard from adults about their youth,
I cannot tell you how my heart goes out.

The crusade to save our children,
it’s real.

If we ever want a world that is peaceful,
healed to any level.
We need to look at all human rights.
And stop treating children like they have no f-cking rights,
like they are just good story tellers.
Imaginative.

Sexual Abuse for our youth is more real than what any of us want to admit.

And our system is F-cked to a point that it is almost hopeless.

Because it’s not about the children.
It’s not about safety.
It’s not about rights.
It’s about money, bottom lines and keeping it easy on those who don’t care and are not being effected.

I believe that there is HOPE.
I believe that our WORDS matter.
Our VOICES need to be heard.
The children need a voice.

And their voice comes from YOUR awareness.
Hope is awakened by more adults doing the inner work that they need to do to not be fearful of speaking out, speaking up and standing up.

Our children would be safer if the VILLAGE protected them instead of ignored them.

Yes today’s message is one of a CALL to ACTION that if you know of abuse happening to not turn the other cheek, to not ignore. To not hide your f-cking head in the sand and disregard.

Your hiding will never save anyone, including yourself.
But your voice,
your voice could save multiple lives.

Will you STAND, SPEAK UP, SPEAK OUT?
Or will you continue to ignore?

It’s starts with you not ignoring your SOUL.
It starts with you eliminating your own SHAME.
It starts with you communicating your NEEDS.
It starts with you getting COMMITTED to YOU.

So pull that beautiful head out of the sand,
and let your voice be heard.
Your message felt.

And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living Not IGNORING!

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Imagine letting o of your fear,
letting go of your shame.
What would your life be like if you were working with a mentor that could help you level up your life and let go of all those things that no longer serve you?
What would you like to release? Let go of and create for your EMPOWERED Life?

Let’s talk.
Message me for deet’s on 1:1 Coaching today.

Posted on

Rules of My Tribe Plus Why It’s Important To Leap In Faith

A year ago I took a leap of faith and I made a commitment to join a 6 week workshop that my mentor was putting on. It came to me at a time that I was freakin’ out.
I was making good money,
doing what I loved,
but was still not fully stepping all the way into my practice in all the ways that I could.
 
My soul craved so much more.
And so I leaped!
I signed up for this $13,000 dollar 6-week workshop that was designed to kick my a*s and get me moving, get me aligned to my soul message and making money.
 
Now, at this point in time I was consistently making $10,000 to $12,000 a month in my practice working an average of 10-15 hours a week doing what I loved. It was sweet but I desired sweeter and more of me showing up.
I knew that I had more to give,
that I was meant to help more people up-level their lives and success as well.
 
But I did not have an extra $13k laying around, I was just making ends meet.
 
And so the workshop began.
And I was in it.
I FOUND A WAY because I WANTED MORE for ME.
 
My mentor gave some intense homework and I was eating it up. UNTIL she gave a prompt about writing on the RULES of MY TRIBE.
 
I hated this concept of RULES.
I fought against it and I could not wrap my head around it.
And so it has stood that I have not done that bit of homework for a YEAR NOW.
 
Yes here is my confession to you.
 
I miss ” Do Your Homework and You Will See Miracles”
is openly confessing that I have been procrastinating and avoiding with a passion this homework from a workshop that has long been over. But here I sit, KNOWING that it is time,
time to write the RULES of MY TRIBE.
 
Before I do that here and now for you,
I want to share with you something that makes my heart and soul smile and is the reason I do what I do.
 
Today I share with you a text thread between myself and one of my elite coaching clients who is working on her coaching business. I share this with you because I could not be prouder of her and all that she has focused in on and made happen for herself.
 
I share this with you because I believe that if I had NOT taken that leap last year and committed to that 6-week workshop with my mentor that this beautiful coach would not have made in two weeks what that workshop cost me a year ago. I would not have been able to coach her to it. To support her the way that I have and give her the guidance that she needed this year.
 
My message here,
is simple.
 
When one leaps in FAITH,
they carry so many with them,
and raise up a community to the heavens of possibility.
 
I believe that we each have a mission to be our best.
To make ton’s of money doing it.
To live in abundance in all things of goodness.
When we walk in faith,
and share and live from our soul mission,
opening ourselves to abundance and rewards,
we put ourselves into a position to help others do the same.
 
—RULES OF MY TRIBE—
 
1.) DESIRE to be the best you that you feel asking to be seen and felt at your SOUL level.
 
2.) WILLINGNESS to look yourself in the eye, heart and ego and get real with yourself, no matter what you may discover.
 
3.) COURAGE to leap when everything is against you.
4.) COACH-ABILITY to not just hear the advice and guidance but to take the action no matter how it terrifies you or how goofy it may seem and JUST DO IT in FAITH.
 
5.) INTEGRITY and AUTHENTICITY. These may be the most difficult in truth. As we all feel that we exhibit them. The RULE here is to be willing to SEE that you are not always in integrity or being authentic and to love yourself through it, to open into it and to call yourself out when you realize where/how you were not .
 
6.) ACCEPTANCE. Accept that you are human. Accept that we are not always going to agree or get along. Accept that I am human. Accept that others are human. Accept that the ONLY THING you can control is YOU.
 
7.) PLAY. My tribe gets that humor heals. That laughter, goofiness, silliness, and mishaps are beautiful pieces of life and ourselves and should NEVER be hidden or shamed.
 
8.) RESPECT. Self, others and life. Respect the energy that moves through you by living as true to self as you can. Respect others by allowing them to be human and themselves no matter how you feel about their message or looks or anything. Respect the coaching, the sharing, the rawness and never shame someone for revealing any intimacy they need to or asking for help that they may have.
 
9.) BELIEF. It is a major requirement, not just a RULE that if you have a desire to truly be part of my tribe that you BELIEVE. You believe not in my way or in my faith, but that you have a belief in SOUL. You believe that there is something more than just we live, we die and that’s it. No matter your faith, your religion or spiritual guidelines, no matter your race or sex, financial status or relationship views. I have no care here. The requirement is that you believe in a CREATOR, a SOURCE, God and SOUL. Because without this value, life is meaningless and there is no reason to trust, to expand, to move mountains or let our greatness shine.
 
10.) OPEN MINDED. If you hang with me in any fashion, you better have an open mind. I preach and I teach on matters and subjects that can rock your boat and make you sick sometimes. I am not too cautious about my words, I do not aim to please anyone or control, but I will share my views and lessons that I have learned unapologetically with the hope and desire that you too will expand, grow and live in abundance and faith.
 
11.) COMMITMENT. You know that you are the 1%. You know that you are valuable and worthy. You know that even though you have fear and doubt, many reasons to say no to SELF and GROWTH that you still WILL NOT. You say F-ck YES!!!! to SELF. You COMMIT with a crazy desire, a passion, a playfulness. You commit with your open heart, your belief in self and SOUL. You commit with great courage, with an authentic hunger to see your true self and live ABUNDANTLY doing it. You COMMIT to THRIVING. Money, sex, relationship, health, success, soul expansion, healing and so much more. You commit to BEING YOUR BEST and NEVER Saying NO to what YOU KNOW SOUL wants revealed and embraced.
 
12.) ACTION BASED. You know what you want and you take the action needed to get it. Spiritually, energetically, emotionally, mentally and physically.
 
 
Are you part of my tribe?
 
I love you all the same.
Thank you for the follow,
the shares,
the support.
 
Let’s make this year one FOCUSED ON YOUR GREATNESS!
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Take the opportunity NOW to access your Kick A*s Life NOW.
 
Grab a consult to learn how you too can move mountains in all areas of your life.
 
Message me for deet’s.
Posted on

This Is What Men Have Taught Me About Money, Abundance, Goals and Happiness.

This Is What Men Have Taught Me About Money, Abundance, Goals and Happiness.

Years ago, I was married.
I was married at age 18.
I had five children.
Struggled, lost homes, was burred under debt, my health suffered, my marriage suffered, my sex was nothing but duty. I hated my life! I was focused on the NOT having and I was buying into the concept of this is just how it was. This was normal and I had to just suck it up.

My husband then was in financial services, he worked for Primerica which was part of Travelers Group, originally Art Williams created the company back in the 1970’s and it was known as A.L. Williams Life Insurance Group. It was about term insurance and investments.

I met my husband in the company as I was working on my licenses to become a representative to sell for them and was interested in the structure of the system.

Well, fast forward past all that and the wedding and the child birth stuff and you found us BROKE. Chasing our dreams of becoming financially free. Our goal back then was to become Vice Presidents of the company and make a six figure income. Get the ring to show how great we were and the rewards of trips and such.

And so we listened to ALL the motivational stuff.
We went to the seminars.
We made the cold calls and followed the sales scripts.
We worked, worked , worked.
And occasionally made some sales.
Some would charge back, which put us in debt with the company and had to be taken out of future commissions.
some would stick.

For years we chased the DREAM.
For years we struggled.
We comforted ourselves with the concept that we were building a beautiful tale of overcoming the feats and obstacles but in the end succeeded.
We imagined walking on the stage and telling the story.
OUR STORY.

And we struggled.
Living on what averaged out to be $17,000 a year.
Raising children, scrimping buy.
Food Stamps, Evictions, State insurance, borrowing whatever we could from family to make ends meet and even sleeping on families couches when things got REALLY bad.

But we kept chasing that dream.

Until one day, I could not chase it anymore.
I was burned out. I hated my life.
I wanted it all to end.
And I spent the next two years of my life in the middle of deep dark depression, that still today I wonder how I made it through alive. I acted out, I drank too much alcohol. We fought like wild raging animals.

It was toxic.
It was unhealthy for everyone.
And it had to come to an end.

Fast forward.
I decided I was done.
I decided that I wanted a divorce.
I decided that we had too much water under our bridge.
And I chose to burn the bridge.

I decided that if it was up to me, it was going to be my freedom, my way, my flow, my self-discovery, my healing.

And so it was.

I had to let go of all the old ways though.
And I did, for the most part.
I dug in and started to do the inner work.
I decided that I was the most important person in the room.
In my life.
That if I wanted to be an AMAZING mom, I needed to feed my SOUL.

I reinvented myself.

So I started my practice,
it was nothing like it is today,
but it was my foundation grounds.
My learning grounds.
My healing grounds.
And with my practice came a desire to date and explore the masculine because I had never done that before.
I only had explored three men intimately up to this point and I knew I had a bunch of shame, guilt, self-image and fear wrapped around this area of life.

I was not overly caught up on dating.
It was just a desire that I had and if it came along,
then it came along.
I created some doorways for opportunities to happen and I did not really apply my focus there too much. I just knew what I wanted and let it be.
Something about dating and men felt easy to me.
Even with my fear.
I had a fascination, a curiosity that overcame the fear.
Men and dating felt playful to me.
It was a game,
new ground to explore.
An adventure.
My ONLY expectation was to enjoy it and learn.

And so I decided in that moment that I would NEVER chase men. There was no need. Because I wanted it to just be FUN.

And so it was.

As with men, I quickly discovered that money, abundance, goals and happiness were no different.

If I chased them.
They ran from me.

If I turned them into a fun game,
an adventure and let my curiosity run free,
then they flowed.

My advice to you today BABY is simple.

Stop chasing everything!

Wonder why it is running from you?
Well it’s not rocket science BABY.
It is running from you because you are chasing it.

I know that you have been told to chase your dreams.
I know that you have been told to make your goals happen.
I know that you have heard that there is no gain without the pain.

Yeah I understand.
I lived that way for so many years.
I still have those nasty lies pop up in my mind today and try and take me down.
Try and steal my joy.

But today I see them for the wolves they are.
And I know what to do to get back into my FLOW.

That is the power of doing the inner work.
That is the purpose of having a mentor.
That is why we who crave the f-ck yes lifestyle that is so much more than money,
its all about FREEDOM and HAPPINESS.

It’s about SOUL.

Yes we know the power of saying YES to ourselves and taking the ACTION to do the things that must be done.

Those things are internal 80% of the time.
Those things are the things that we AVOID.
We hide from.

But as long as you keep choosing to chase your dreams the old fashioned way, you will remain the predator to that, that you so desire and it will keep running from you.

Sure you can succeed this way.
You can keep chasing.
You can capture your dreams and goals and MAKE THEM HAPPEN.

But at what cost?

How much of YOU will be left?
And will you be truly happy, fulfilled and healthy?

There is an easier way BABY.
It’s called Ease and Flow.
It’s called SOUL Guidance.
But first you must learn to listen.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

It’s my specialty beautiful!
It’s my purpose work.
My calling and my passion.
When I chose all those years ago to step into who I was and step into my ease and flow,
I chose to live a life of service and help YOU find your ease and flow.

But to do that you have to want it.
You have to be ready to get ready to RECEIVE it.
And that mean creating doorways for it to come through and releasing you from the predatory chains of your current beliefs and habits.

You can keep doing what you are doing.
Or you can grab a consult with me and make a different choice.
You can reinvent YOURSELF.
Which is actually just unveiling YOURSELF.

Claim Your Life Today.

Free Consults ( phone, facebook video or 1:1 in person) till May 22, 2019