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I Love Us In All Our Rawness

I LOVE US IN ALL OUR RAWNESS.
Even though we look between the lines,
we come back to our truth,
to our commitment to keeping it real.
We breathe in deep,
as we let our tears fall,
we feel our hearts as we press ourselves together even tighter than before.
Our frustration,
our fear.
Our love overcomes ALL.
And I am reminded that this is the relationship,
the love that I have always wanted for.
The Raw.
The Real.
The Committed.
I feel my heart swell when I hear you come close,
Your touch ignites me to my core.
The softness of my feminine feels safe in your arms,
as our feet entwine and dance in the night.
I breathe you in as you do I.
Not ever wanting to lose your scent.
And I am at home.
Here in the rawness of my humanity.
Here in the home of our love.
I find peace,
I find comfort,
I find joy.
But you owe me nothing.
And I, the same to you.
I do not ask for you to make me happy.
I only ask for your rawness.
Your core truth.
Your respect, honesty and trust.
I ask for your open communication,
your desire for our intimacy.
To go deeper.
To feel into the valleys and shadows of yourself,
so we can lay here in this rawness of our humanity,
and love fully.
The most sound and beautiful relationships are based on the simplest truth,
that we are not here to make anyone happy,
not even our soulmate.
But we are too meet each other with our own happiness,
our own self-love and respect.
And in this meeting we will unite as a team.
Our bond is based in self.
The coming together of like minds, souls and hearts.
The wanting of common goals.
Beyond desire and passion ( although we have plenty),
We have this river of consciousness,
a friendship,
where there is no questioning,
only knowing.
A knowing that I got you and you I.
We will never be lost at sea,
for we have this love between.
This is a love that can survive anything.
A love that will conquer.
And it is based on our rawness.
It is a product of our commitment.
We have walked through fire and brimstone,
we have laughed under the full moon,
we have been torn at by wolves,
and hunted in the night.
No fire or furry holds a candle to our connection.
As the new day sets upon us,
I am forever reminded,
that this is the love that I have always asked for.
And you are the man I am committed to keep it real with.
———————————————————————–
To all those beautiful, strong and real couples out there,
this is the sorta love that last centuries and storybooks are based on.
Keep it real, raw and committed.
Know yourself first and foremost.
Be strong in who you are,
and know that no matter how long you have been together,
the journey is forever transforming,
always teaching you and molding your love to its most elevated state,
if only you will keep it raw.
Love truly is the greatest teacher of our lives.
From my heart to yours,
keepin’ real and raw with my man.
Always remember,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
And those who want to keep it REAL!
Want that dynamic relationship?
Reach out to me today for what’s happening with KW Coaching and mentorships in 2021 and how you can change your love life and abundance forever.
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ARE YOU GUILTY OF CHEAP TALK? IT COULD BE WHATS DESTROYING YOUR RELATIONSHIPS.

TALK IS CHEAP! AND IT’S PERVASIVE AROUND YOU.

 

“I am here for you.”

“Let me know what I can do.”

“I got your back.”

“Yeah, I totally agree.”

“I see what’s been happening, where you are at, what you are saying, etc.”

 

There are so many things that we tell others with little to no meaning behind them.

We speak these statements with good intent often,

but we don’t understand the value of actually following our words up with action. Sometimes the action is just more words of support, or helping one find answers, or just simply holding space for someone who is going through a rocky time in life and needs to have that space. Other times, it means that we need to follow through with supportive action to those words.

 

Recently in my life I have had an onslauth of what you could say shiz going down in my personal life.

 

I find myself standing here not thirty days into a new year amazed at everything that has occured over the last ninety days.

Some mornings I wake and find humor in the events,

realizing that you can’t make this shiz up.

Hollywood would pay a mint for the tales I could tell.

And then other days I realize that it’s just life,

my soul wanting to expand who I am and strengthen my vessel so I can become everything I desire and live that unbound beautiful life I know is mine.

 

And then there are the days that I wake in total frustration.

Anger.

Fear.

Judgement.

Bitterness.

Anxiety.

Exhaustion.

 

And I wonder why me?

Why now?

How much more does God think I can carry?

And WHY do the people in my life not see it? hear it? Why do they just keep wanting more from me in the face of everything else?

 

No matter how I wake,

what I have been blessed to witness is a reality check in my relationships. Revelations on no matter who we are, we are all human at the end of the day and our humanness when overtaken by our ego is extremely superficial and self-centered, even when we attempt to support and give love.

 

We blind ourselves and ignore others’ needs and desires, even though we can see what is happening in their lives and how at the end of a string they may be. How close to crashing they truly are.

 

And we do this NOT because we don’t care or cannot understand,

but because we want what we want for ourselves.

 

So we act as though we did not see.

We claim they did not communicate clearly.

We say they never told us.

We spout back, “Well I tried but you would not connect, answer, etc.”

 

YOU WERE NOT CLEAR ON WHAT YOU NEEDED FROM ME.

 

We push back the blame to the other.

Not wanting to see ourselves and how in these times we disregarded what was right before us with our loved one for the sake of our own self-centered needs and wants.

 

If we were to get real with our words,

and to honor them and have the self-respect and respect of the other parties as well, we would stand behind our word.

 

UNDERSTANDING THAT OUR WORD IS EVERYTHING.

 

This is not just some old school statement that our word makes up our character.

It’s not just a line from Scarface or the Godfather,

John Wayne and Clint Eastwood are not the ones proclaiming the strength of a human is in his words.

No.

But I tell you that our word is all of this.

Our word is OUR CHARACTER CHECK POINT.

Our word is our STRENGTH.

or our weakness.

 

And when we say that, “I got your back.”

 

It should not be a light matter.

These words should come with an understanding that in them we are denying the self for another.

 

That we are willing to sacrifice our short term desires, needs or wants to fully support someone else and to stay aware of what is happening with them and in their lives.

 

Unfortunately, the majority of the time this is not what will occur.

The reverse is actually true.

We will state that we are supportive,

and then we will take the opportunity to bulldoze over our loved one to get our needs met instead, all the while pretending to be blind to it all. Pretending that if they had just spoken up, made it more clear, done their part that the boundaries would not have ever been crossed.

 

OUR WORDS ARE OUR RESPONSIBILITY.

Meaning that with them we take responsibility for who we are and our actions and reactions.

 

Responsibility to being consciously aware of situations, people and what is truly needed despite our self-centered desires to get our own needs and wants met.

 

THIS IS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND SUPPORT.

Anything else is empty.

 

Making our words,

our actions,

and us as a human weak and untrustworthy.

 

What do your words say about your character in a relationship?

In life?

 

Want to have deep, committed, trusting and loving relationships in all areas of your life?

 

Then it’s time to stand behind your words,

and realize they are your strength or your weakness.

Your words are your bond.

Without them you have nothing.

 

 

As Always.

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Want to learn the secrets of a dynamic powerhouse relationship?

Overcome the drama circles and superficial ego based relating game that you are so used to? Reach out to me today for 1:1 opportunities in mentorship now. Limited space.

 

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COVETING IS A SLIPPERY SLOP- ONE SO MANY ARE BLIND TOO. ARE YOU?

COVETING IS A SLIPPERY SLOPE – ONE SO MANY ARE BLIND TOO.
When does it become acceptable for an individual whom may be a supposed friend, association or other to try to weasel thier way into a couples relationship to cause disconnection, disruption, or disharmony? All the while thier intent being to create an opportunity to be with one of the individuals.
This disrespect of the couple hood and the individuals can take the form of:
–> Sexual offers
–>Inappropriate suggestions, offers or touch
–>Under the guise of a shoulder to cry on –>Support that was not asked for
–>Disparaging comments about one of the individuals
–>Statements of desire or “love”
–> Consistency and persistence in advances
All with the intent to undermine the relationship.
Some of this overt.
Some covert.
Making them the most dangerous.
Acting as a wolf in sheeps clothing in hopes to lure the partner that holds ones attention slowly and discreetly over the course of time into one’s arms.
Believing that the coveted relationship can provide the same dynamics and connection even when one of the partners is no longer in play.
COVETING IS A SLIPPERY SLOPE.
The reality is that we humans covet many things.
Relationship is highly sought after.
It is our human desire and need to be connected to another. The bonding that we experience in intimate relationship is elevating and fulfilling unlike anything else. So when we see another experiencing the depth, connection and love that we may not be experiencing ourselves it leaves us hungry and aware of what is lacking in our own lives.
This is the birth place of envy and jealousy.
It is also how such disruptive and unsought for attention and advances come from.
You may not be able to control your feelings or desires for someone, however you most certainly can and IF YOU ACTUALLY LOVE or even mildly give a shit for this person, then can respect them and control your feelings and desires.
Not being able to administer the needed control around taking action or expressing the feelings reveals an even deeper issue at hand.
That being one of little self-respect or honor to soul.
Instead of elevating self,
You find yourself trying to destroy the beauty in anothers life. When you could be asking yourself how you too could develop and call a relationship that others are envious of into your own life picture.
Becoming consciously aware of those seemingly “little” or “harmless” statements and actions that one may be guilty of serves not only in the best interest of the coveted couplehood but also for the individual whom is coveting, as the awareness and taking responsibility of said actions develops ones character and thus elevates thier vibration increasing thier potential to call in the ideal relationship for thier soul experience.
So I ask you today dear reader,
First are these tactics ever okay? And secondly,
does anothers relationship, connection, or love bring you fear, jealousy or envy? Where might you consciously or subconsciously be guilty of these detrimental self-centered actions and desires and not be realizing your truth?
Level Up Your Love Life Today.
By elevating who you are and knowing your truth.
Loving You From Here.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers “
Want to manifest a relationship that makes other envious? Call in your soulmate and live elevated in love? Reach out for information on my LIMITED 1:1 and group coaching opportunities for 2021 now.
Make 2021 your Soulmate Year!
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If You Ever Loved Someone

WHEN YOU LOVE SOMEONE YOU SEE WHERE YOU NEED TO EXPAND.
Love is one of the best self-development courses you can ever sign up for.
Love causes us to not want to loose it.
Makes us want to change ourselves to the core.
Love makes us think, “well I can sacrifice this or that, its not that big a deal.”
Love can make us feel like our hearts are being ripped from our chests when we feel that our love is being threatened.
But here is the thing…
Love is one of the best self-development course if we are conscious to what all this ego based fear around it is actually saying to us.
And it certainly is not proclaiming to step away from being whom you are,
To change your core or heart.
To hide your desires,
Your truth,
Your fear,
Your anger,
To stop communicating because you fear confrontation or potential loss.
No that is not what love is teaching.
Love is saying to have faith in it.
Find your courage and strength in it.
To know that in the midst of the storms that can make your heart shake,
That you will still be held.
Love is saying that in these ego reactions that cause us to not feel aligned, happy or just not right in any fashion that we are being offered a great teacher.
The teacher of wisdom to see where we hold ourselves so tight that we cannot see the path back to our hearts.
The teacher that knows that no matter who we are, that we are all still students to life. That we have so much to learn.
The teacher that is aware that we are human,
And make mistakes as those that we love will do as well. And that often in life things are rarely what we think they are.
When you love someone you meet your edge.
You meet your ego.
You meet your darkness and your light.
When you love someone,
You see where you need to expand.
Where there is room for deeper healing inside yourself.
You discover lands that you had forgotten about,
Or thought you could ignore.
When you love someone,
Truly love them.
You want to be the best you.
For them.
For you.
For the team.
Being the best you,
In love is elevating.
It is what you came here to do.
To see yourself, FULLY.
To accept and love yourself,
With all those little quirky traits,
And things you fear will drive your love away.
Being the best you,
Is about living unbound.
Expressed.
Being the best you,
Is about BEING LOVE.
And when you love someone,
You will consciously want to see and be seen.
Knowing that this is the greatest work of your lifetime.
This is the expansion.
This is the transformation.
This is how you get closer to your truth.
To access your soul.
It will not be easy.
It will not always be pleasant.
It will have you holding your breath at times.
But if you choose to love with this consciousness,
To see its beauty and stand in its fire.
You will have no choice but to expand.
Your thinking.
Your feeling.
Your beliefs.
Your soul.
And for that my love,
You will touch the heavens,
And be blessed with a joy and depth that is ever so rare.
Loving you from here always.
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Lets get you expanding in a high vibe conscious relationship based in true love today.
Don’t wait another year to manifest tour soulmate relationship. Reach out today to learn the secrets to calling in your ideal love.
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GET OUT OF YOUR OWN LIGHT.

THE FUTURE IS ALWAYS BRIGHT…. NO MATTER THE SHADOW OF THE MOUNTAIN.

 

Recently my life partner and I drove up to Pikes Peak in Colorado together. It was bitter cold out, the fresh snow lay everywhere. People flocked to sled and enjoy snow ball fights.

The crisp winter wind felt amazing on my flesh as I stood there looking out over the valley that lay at the base of the peak.

 

I recall at one moment, standing with my partner’s arms around me. We looked out at the vastness before us,

and I could feel the message of the universe in that moment.

There we were, in the shadow of Pikes Peak, a great mountain blocking the rays of the warm sun, a crisp snowy breeze blowing around us, and we felt limitless in that space.

 

We felt grounded.

Stroung.

and in love with life.

Clarity in what we wanted and the path that we had chosen together was our guiding light.

Just like the miles that stretched out in front of this mountain were sunstruck, warm and bright, so was our future.

 

And I was reminded…

That you cannot always pre-map out the journey.

Often great things come unexpected.

However,

 

YOU WILL ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU BELIEVE IS YOURS.

 

If you believe that your possibilities are limitless,

then they are.

If you believe that you are surrounded and held in love,

then you are.

If you believe that you can live a life of abundance, adventure and joy,

then you can.

 

The problem is that so often we choose to own our worst nightmares.

 

We choose to focus in on what we don’t have and accept it as our reality,

we purchase that for our life destination and journey instead of what we claim that we hunger for at our souls level.

 

And THIS REALITY IS SO THEN.

You may say that you did not plan for all the shit to happen,

that its not in your plan or picture to stand there without a great love in your life,

or to believe that you always lose in love.

You may claim that its not in your agenda to create financial destruction,

the loss of house and home,

divorce, strife and health issues,

but honey, the reality is that you are looking for it.

 

This time of Covid has proven to me just how many people leap at the opportunity to jump into their victim status,

I see so many people wanting to test positive for the Rona,

saying,

” I am sick. I must have the Rone.”

 

or blaming the economy because of critical times for their financial pictures,

their relationship stress.

Their “inability” to get out and do things,

for their weight gain, poor eating and sluggish habits.

 

Well if your hidden agenda is to be a victim,

then guess what luv,

YOU WILL BE A MF VICTIM.

 

And you will stay in the shadow of life,

in the shadow of all those who choose differently.

You will stand there,

and be a spectator to others thriving,

because you planned to be limited by life.

 

YOU EXPECT TO BE LIMITED.

 

And you will only ever get as far as you plan.

Or you could open up those plans to the possibilities that YOU ARE IN FACT LIMITLESS.

 

Unless, that scares you too much, of course.

Because that might require you to step out of the herd,

and grow a pair.

That might demand of you to go digging deeper inside yourself then you have ever gone before.

That might require you to look good and hard at your inner demons ,

those thoughts, fears, desires, and opinions,

that are holding you the f-ck back.

 

Now granted you can continue down that path you are on,

you can plot it out,

step by step,

and you can prepare for the worst case scenarios in every which way possible,

and you can stand guard.

Pick your MF armour up and be ready to battle life at every perceived turn,

and sure that might not be bad,

if your goal in life is to survive it long enough to die anyway,

and look back at a empty path,

where you retreated and warred with anything that caused you to expand.

With anything that asked you to trust in your heart and soul.

That required you to have it to leap and open your wings.

 

Sure you can get by like that.

The majority of folks do.

 

But thats all they do,

GET BY.

 

And sit there in the land of spectatorship.

Wishing for something more.

Questioning why others always have, do and create.

Not feeling fulfilled.

Seen.

Truly loved.

 

Or…

 

You could do something a bit differently and step out of the crowd.

You could realize that the valley before you lit up with all that radiant glory,

is yours for the taking.

 

It will just require you to have a higher perspective on life.

To tap the f-ck into your truth,

and to have enough courage to say F-ck Yes! To You.

 

This Is not average and ordinary living.

No.

What I am proclaiming and believe is accessible and our right as humans is to live limitless and THRIVE.

 

That we each are worthy beyond measure of just that.

That our dreams and desires are set before us not to tease us,

not to cause us disappointment in life and self,

or point out our lack or inabilities,

but instead they are put there,

 

FOR THE TAKING.

 

They are there because they are rightfully ours to begin with.

 

They WILL REQUIRE us to become a match to them.

 

They will require that we step out of our comfort zones.

They will require that we expand,

that we open ourselves up to our limitlessness.

 

They will without a doubt require that WE KNOW WHAT WE WANT.

 

And the courage to gain all that we want and feel that depth and level of fulfillment,

well it will only come when we stop standing in the way of our own sunshine as Waldo Emerson said.

 

Because the reality is….

That most of the mountains that we believe are blocking our path and our great plans,

are only us standing in our own sunshine.

 

 

Time to set yourself free baby.

Time to know your truth.

 

And As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to make 2021 your year to be limitless?

Let’s get started today with a course change.

Reach out to me about 1:1 opportunities and group events as well.

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WHEN I MAKE LOVE TO YOU.

WHEN I MAKE LOVE TO YOU.

 

I make love to me as well.

You open me to depths of my soul that no other has even come close.

I witness my joy,

my warmth,

my desire,

all in your arms,

and I feel carried in your presence.

 

As you look at me,

with eyes on fire with passion and admiration,

I feel the sweetness of your heart,

as well as its hunger.

 

When my breasts touch your chest,

and you pull me closer,

I feel decades passing through us.

There is no time nor space,

it is but only the here and now.

 

As you enter my body with yours,

I breathe deep with anticipation,

I feel athirst for your nectors that feed my soul.

My chest expands as I surrender,

softly, fiercely,

at your hand,

I am breathless with your touch.

 

My eagerness to be taken by you is never ending.

My body aches and yearns for your devouring.

And as you breathe,

my flesh tingles,

my mouth waters,

and I am wet.

 

I am now the ravenous one.

And you are my home.

 

————————————————————————-

 

To all my followers who crave a relationship, a love that penetrates them to their core.

 

Yearning for the entwinement with “the one” that twin soul, that soulmate, that knows you beyond words or life memories of this time.

 

These are the images, the feelings and vibrations that we were born to expereince and we are in search for in our love, in our sex, in our relating. We do not hunger for surface level, superficial relationships, no matter how often we choose to settle for them.

What we desire is the fulfillment of what we know is our home.

And you my dear follower/reader can have just this.

 

But how you may wonder?

If you currently are not looking into the eyes of home, ‘then how can you call that sort of love in?

 

It’s all about authenticity and integrity with self.

It’s all about loving self beyond your darkness and mistakes.

It’s all about KNOWING that YOU ARE WORTHY,

worthy of this connection.

 

And in these things your vibrations will meet.

And you too my dear will experience home.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

2020 was a nasty year for relationships.

Couples and singles alike.

Hard to meet new people.

Difficult to do anything with your current partner.

The stress and worry exhausted many relationships,

and I am here to share with you that 2021 does not have to be the same.

Reach out to me today for my exclusive offers for 2021 for couples to bring back the passion, singles to find true love and more.

LIMITED Opportunities to work with me 1:1

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THE UNTOLD PLAN YOU MUST HAVE FOR 2021.

THE UNTOLD PLAN YOU MUST HAVE FOR 2021.
And so it came,
The year where we all pretty much stayed home or inside as the year rolled into a new one.
Sitting here in Boulder Colorado on the turning of this year watching fire works pop off from the base of the mountains, looking into empty streets and sidewalks as I sat on the edge of my hotel bed with champagne in one hand, snuggled in the arms of my man, I allowed my sleepy self to take in the calmness.
Off in the distance a man yelled out,
“Happy New Year!”
And I felt my heart sink.
I was right where I wanted to be.
With whom I wanted be.
Filled with peace, love and anticipation for the new year and a wondering as to where the next twelve months would take us.
In this space, my soul cried out to me that there was an untold plan.
It was no special plan just for my life unfolding in the next year or even decade but an untold plan for our world.
One that if we are to make our individual lives great and heal our world communities that each of us must pay attention to.
Be woke too, you could say.
And that is the great universal shift of consciousness. Now we hear alot about this topic, its not an uncommon or untold subject for sure, however you must admit that one of the greatest gifts of 2020 was the recruitment for each of us to become more solo focused and yet be concerned and aware of our fellow humans well-being. We were asked to go inward, to quarantine and distance ourselves from the masses. We were asked to hold concern for everyone’s health not just our own.
And even though, much of 2020 has been spent in fear and in concern over the weakest links in our world society, the beauty of this lesson is still prevalent.
And that is that if we are to evolve as a world society,
And thus as individuals,
That the requirements to do that are that we must evolve and elevate our thinking and feelings about others. That true growth and understanding comes first from going within ones self, and from this space of our own inner realms we can best support and nuture others.
The answeres and awareness we all long for as we cross the threshold into a new year are within ourselves.
If we continue to rely on others opinions, judgements and ideas of what we should or should not do, or what is best for us and we continue to listen to chaos then we will never raise our own vibrations and be able to connect to our truth.
With all the pandemic craze and the worry and fighting over rights, race and who’s going to be president it became almost unimaginable that any of us could even think about connecting to God deeper or ourselves.
The focus was kept on chaos.
The focus was kept on fear.
The focus was kept on separation. And not for the good of all but to create a diversion between the worlds people, targeting neighbor against neighbor, brother against sister.
And here we sit,
On the first day of a new year,
Asking ourselves,
” Whats in store for the future?”
Do you feel uncertain?
Lost?
As though your hope that when the clock struck midnight all that troubled you and the world would just seize to exist and life would suddenly be safe, good, and comfortable to a degree again but then was disappointed to discover that nothing had changed…
Welcome to 2021,
The year where its time to accept that the unspoken plan for you and our world is not to keep handing over the reigns of your life to anyone who will take them,
But instead that unspoken plan is to WAKE THE F-CK UP and claim your life.
Take responsibility for who you are.
And know that a better you equals a better world community.
Know that you do matter.
That you are worthy.
That your truth needs to be heard.
All those hopes, desires and dreams that you have for this year and your life….
Understand that the only way you will ever accomplish them is if you stop lollygagging about waiting for the world around you to do something different to make it happen.
As long as you sit back and wait for some imaginary person to come along and grant you permission to start living your best life now,
You will sadly sit and wait out the rest of your days on this earth empty and wanting for something.
The untold plan for 2021 that we must have is pretty simple…
Its the plan of action to dig deep into who each of us truly are, to stop accepting so little from ourselves, and stop allowing for others to dictate our lifes direction.
The plan is to be a F-ck Yes! To self first.
And when we feel lost or afraid to know that what we are being asked to do it to turn inward.
To go into silence with self and to feel our deepest heart.
Here in that state of calm we will gain our answers and by being selfish at this level we are in truth making the most loving, conscious choices for all those around us as well.
I ask you on this first day of a new year to take a moment and place your hand on your heart,
If you have lost people over the last twelve months, whether to death or just a separation brought on by differences of ideas and opinions or even a need to say goodbye,
I ask you in this moment to breathe into your chest.
Into your heart and feel.
Feel that loss.
Feel the opening of opportunity as well that the space from that relationship is creating for you.
Feel who you truly are outside of anyone else.
Because this is where you need to be.
This is where your answers will birth from.
And the untold plan…
Well thats for you to discover as you lean into your heart,
That beautiful precious heart of yours and listen.
Here is to wishing you a year filled with truth and love. A year of self discovery where you want to be a better human for yourself first and the world second. Where you know that all you ever have to do is turn inward and listen to your soul.
Loving you today from Boulder Colorado and always.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A* s Believers “
Lets rock out the new year by getting you in full alignment to your F-ck Yes Life today. Reach out to me to find out how.
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I Love This Man

I LOVE THIS MAN.
2020 has been a stormy year.
It has been that way for so many of us.
Bringing forth our truth,
our hearts desires, and our fears.
We have walked through the year barring as much courage as each of us could handle, wanting for so much more beauty, searching for the light at the end of this tunnel,
and here we are at the close of this year,
asking ourselves,
“What is waiting in the wake of 2021?”
For me as many of you know,
My year has been filled with untold beauty.
I never allowed the shut downs and quarantines to prevent me from living out loud and enjoying my incredible family, nor did I let it stop me from traveling or sharing new experiences outside of my own backyard with my children and friends.
I connected deeper in so many ways with my clients over the course of this twelve months,
witnessing them as they explored possibilities, found faith in their talents and personal power and discovered their truth as individuals and couples.
I have certainly nothing to complain about health wise,
2020 has potentially been one of my healthies years ever. I think the only thing that got me down was a bad beet juice I ordered one day… ( and I am still having issues coming back to beet even now, but maybe I can venture out and try drinking one in 2021 again. – IDK)
On a very personal note however,
2020 brought with it some surreal moments that I never thought I would experience and yet feel blessed to have walked through.
I am still learning the lessons from these experiences I am sure.
Although, these lessons seem to bear with them the bitter sweet feel that is hard to swallow at times.
My grandson, at 18 months was discovered suddenly to have a rare heart defect and had to have open heart surgery. From which he has spent the last few months in ICU, surviving two strokes and having the cardio team come to the conclusion that he needs a new heart ASAP… one moment a happy, healthy toddler. His precious sweet morning hugs to mimi (me), seeing him daily and enjoying those brief moments, suddenly within moments gone.
Now, sitting on the edge of my seat every time I see my daughters beautiful face pop up calling me on my phone.
What does the next moment hold?
Breathtaking, shocking and I still cannot believe that it is happening. That this is part of our family storyline.
And even in the midst of this,
I feel blessed.
I feel a great love.
I feel a holding from life.
For me.
For my children and grandson.
I can see the perfection as I look back through the moments that led up to the discovery and with each passing day.
Flipping to my personal intimate life,
again surreal moments of shock and disbelief.
A witnessing of how we all cope differently and how we try and hold on to what should no longer be out of fear of loss,
fear of of rejection and a need to try and control events, people, life.
Here 2020 brought with it a closure to a three-year relationship.
What was a beautiful relationship,
but was one that no longer vibed with each of us.
Through the end of this year, I have witnessed my ex stepping away from his soul and acting out of rage, fear and ego. I have found myself again stunned by the witnessing of how we humans believe that we are acting out of love when in truth it is the farthest thing from love, hoping for what? To be understood? To feel right? To gain closure? Instead of loving ourselves and the time spent and allowing for life to do what life always does…
Move on.
There have been many more little events,
both beautiful and painful that 2020 has brought forth to its end.
I have come to terms with it being a year of massive truth finding in self, in relationships and direction of life itself.
Breathless in its lessons offered,
I stand here just a little over a day away from its turn,
the most stunned and speechless over the love that 2020 has revealed to me.
The support.
The connection.
The beauty and the soul entwinement.
As I look over the last quarter,
I see how everything has had to happen.
As I look over the last year plus,
I see the connective fibers and the release points in the stitching of what was,
all bringing into light what was needed.
What was intended.
What would be that next journey.
And I find myself,
here at the precipice of the next great adventure.
The adventure is a love that I have wanted for.
A connection that I have desired.
And a life shared authentically, beautifully, fully.
Not just because that is what we humans crave for and go searching for.
Grabbing hold of relationship after relationship in hopes of “this” being the one,
but instead because NOW I am ready for it and I KNOW that I am.
Now I am ready to embrace myself at levels that I was not available to in years past.
I am reminded in 2020,
that it is always darkest before the sunrise.
2020 in many ways has been that darkness.
And even though there are more moments left to learn from till the sun rises I can feel the turn of this journey.
I can sense in the darkness the light that is emerging,
the depth of the love being revealed daily,
and how without the darkness,
the light would not be revealed with such breathtaking beauty.
I share this with you sweet follower this evening,
in hopes that you too can witness how everything that life has brought forth in the tribulations and trials of your past,
has in truth brought with it a beauty that you would never have wagered on.
Because of those past moments that brought suffering, fear, anxiety and doubt,
you were asked to have great strength and courage.
You were required to step forth firmly into your power,
and you found a connection where you most likely never thought it would be.
The truth of relationships,
of what your heart longed for and what you truly desire and need would never have been fully realized without the onslaught of what felt like overwhelm and loss.
In our disorientation,
we often find ourselves.
But that is only true for those of us who choose to stand witness to life and go within.
Calling on our greatest power.
Our SOUL.
I LOVE THIS MAN.
for the breathless moments shared in the rockiest times of me finding my footing.
For doing his own inner work and embracing his soul.
And for following the guidance of his soul,
to the deepest connection and reveal.
I love this man for the light that he has made me witness in myself through the consistent calling out of my truth.
I love this man for showing up in the darkness and pointing out the surise we shall watch together.
To each of you out there looking for love, peace, joy, a feeling of belonging…
None of these things truly reside anywhere outside ourselves,
and they cannot be revealed to us until we take the great journey within.
The journey of loving thyself.
Here at the close of 2020 I pray that you embrace that truth and make it your mission for the coming year,
to open to the sunrise that awaits your life,
and loving each moment of the darkness for what it brings forth in you.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Lets start 2021 off with a F-ck Yes!
Want to learn the secrets of discovering how our darkest hours can reveal our brightest lives? Reach out to me now.
Posted on

IT COULD HAVE BEEN EASIER.

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN EASIER.
“It would have been easier if he did not behave like a psycho.
Would have been easier if he did not destroy things.
Would have been easier if he was not wasn’t actively causing discontent with family.
Would have been easier if he was not stalking and making sure he lived down the street.
Would have been easier if he had not slandered and bad mouthed, made up lies to destroy relationships and cause issues in other areas of life and work.
Would have been easier if he had not been a self-centered asshole who demonstrated that he only cares about himself at ALL cost.
Yeah it certainly could have been easier.
Could have been easier if he respected initial communications and requests for space.
Could have been easier if he had not spread lies to family.
Could have been easier if you didn’t know that the only reason he did not destroy the family home and belongings was because of outside intervention.
Could have been easier if he was not a MF narcissist.
Could have been easier if he was not sneaking around in the dark like a rat causing trouble and destroying other people property.
Could have been easier if he had not gone to those in traumatic situations and expect his issues to outweigh theirs and make a scene.
Could have been easier yes…
But not for the reasons that he thinks and wants everyone to believe.
Could have been easier if he took some responsibility for his actions.
And not spin it to look like it’s others who are making it not easy on him.
Could have been easier if he did’nt demonstrate his emotional imbalance and once again self-centeredness by crying wolf and telling how he just wants to commit suicide.
Yeah could have been easier.
Could have been easier if he did not continue to stalk and drive by, message and demand.
Could have been easier if he had just been honest throughout the relationship with himself and others.
Could have been easier if he had not expected his mind and heart to be read and refused authentic communication.
Could have been easier if he had listened in the communication being shared for years.
Could have been easier if he had accepted that you can not force your will on others and get their core to change or their heart.
Could have been easier if he respected boundaries and did not get so caught up in his ego to be blind.
The fact is it’s not easier by his own doing.
And the fact that he knows that he is a shell without the connection,
that he is lost in who he is.
Is revealing his true issue.”
I share this above from my heart and soul to all those out there who have had relationships that were broken and shattered.
That ended unexpectedly, and had their ex partner exhibit such control, fear, “craziness” toward them.
Or perhaps the reverse might be true.
Perhaps you were that ex-partner/lover/mate who went crazy at the loss of the one that you were in relationship with.
Perhaps you lost yourself in your pain,
in your lack of sight of how out of alignment the relationship truly was and how it was no longer serving either of you.
I offer my above tale to wake you up today.
To wake you up to the reality that in our loss we often cannot see our truth,
we cannot recognize what love is,
We often believe that we must make our pain known by forcing the other to feel pain as well.
And we do it all in the name of LOVE.
There are two realities in this tale that I share that I hope that you can gain for current and future happiness in relationship.
1. None of the above is based in love. Not love of the other nor of the self. The concept that we need to make another feel pain, know what they have done, that we need to be understood, heard or seen are not based in love but in need and ego. The hunger to do ill things to the one that we proclaimed to love so deeply until we part is not of soul and heart, it has nothing to do with love and not even with our pain of the loss, but instead it has everything to do with our desire and need to control a situation and others because we feel out of control in our lives and in our emotions. We are lost in self. We are not strong at our core or in whom we are and therefore we act out toward others attempting to scare and manipulate them to surrender to what we want of them.
Again, this has nothing to do with love of self or other and certainly does not respect the relationship, the memories, the lessons or either soul.
But instead shows the discontentment and lack of alignment as well as emotional maturity of the one acting out.
There is no proactivity in such actions, only reactivity and a believing that one is a victim to life and others.
2. It could have been easier is what we believe in situations like this.
We say this to life, to people and wonder why we have to be in such pain and suffering.
Why life is so rough and why we just seem to be destined to struggle.
The reality is that it is only difficult and painful because we make it such.
It is our resistance to our core,
to living by our heart and leaning into love and soul that creates the struggle.
The truth of this is evident in ALL subject areas of life, not just relationship and love.
We are in the power position.
We are not victims to circumstance or to others even.
We get to choose at any given moment how we perceive what is happening, what our role is in the event and how we are going to handle it best.
We get to decide moment by moment if we are going to create beauty or pain.
We get to choose if we are going to act from a place of certainty, love and truth or from fear, ego and a need to control and dominate a situation or person, an outcome.
OUR CHOICE DEFINES OUR REALITY.
These are the lessons of relationship break up and how we choose to move through it.
There are many more lessons,
Some are personal to the individual, some to the couple and others are spiritual awakenings that we all must evolve through.
How do you handle break up?
What is your goal in communication with your partner of current or of past?
Is it to be understood?
To feel as though they care or love you?
To know that your pain is felt or that they feel the same?
How do these questions serve you truly?
How are they defining who you are and helping you to become your best person?
And most importantly do these questions with their desired answers come from love and an unconditional elevated space or do they reside and come from your fear and need, your desire to control a situation and an outcome?
One will bring you happiness and growth,
the other suffering and resistance to truth,
YOUR TRUTH.
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
Make 2021 a year of love and beauty.
Heal your relationship,
heal your heart and move mountains so you can have that soulmate relationship of your dreams.
Reach out to me for deet’s on how to do this today.
 
PhotoCredit to DandelionImages
Posted on

IF YOU EVER LOVED ME.

IF YOU EVER LOVED ME.

 

If you ever loved me you would not let me hurt like this.

If you ever loved me you would rethink your actions.

If you ever loved me you would take the time to hear me.

If you ever loved me you would want to share.

If you ever loved me you would give me closure.

If you ever loved me you would make this all go away.

 

And so many other if you ever statements.

 

Boy, oh boy  do I ever understand the pain of loss.

The pain of break up, divorce, seperation, being lied to and abandoned.

 

I understand how it feels when our worlds crash,

when our beautiful plans seize to exist,

and it all seems like it happens within a flash of time.

 

How can this other person who loves us,

or at least proclaimed that they did,

or at very least said that they cared,

just walk away?

 

How can they turn their backs to us and just keep on living their lives?

 

Don’t they care?

 

And so the story of love and loss goes on throughout all time.

And so our hearts expand and we are elated when those that we love are turned toward us,

and when they are no longer by our side we crash into pain and suffering. Feeling abandoned.

Feeling as though we spent all this time in a lie.

 

It just cannot be so.

It certainly is not fair or right,

and we don’t have it coming to us.

 

Right?

I mean how is it possible that this sort of thing could be of our own doing?

 

“THAT” other person made those decisions,

acted that way, said those things and lied to us,

after all.  We would not bring this upon ourselves.

 

Well I can tell you this beautiful,

YOU MOST CERTAINLY DID BRING IT UPON YOURSELF.

 

One of two things happened.

Your vibe either went up past the other person or it crashed below them.

Either way it held there for a long enough period of time and was a great enough difference in frequency that the two of you were no longer in alignment and thus the relationship had to end.

 

So which direction did you go?

This is actually the important thing to question if you truly give a sh*t about your future and who you are.

 

If you love yourself that is.

And so many people just don’t.

Hope that this is not you though.

 

You can tell what direction you went by looking at your thoughts,

your feelings and your actions.

 

If you are the one who leveled up your frequency then this relationship transition will be pretty smooth and easy. You may be in pain, you may feel a tad lost, you may want closure even but at the end of the day you will recognize that the most loving this you can ever offer someone is space to expand, to be them and to have a beautiful life with or without you and in this case it means without you. That may be a stinger, but a high vibe soul will walk away in love and know that the lessons offered in that relationship were powerful, perfect and have helped them gain clarity in who they are and what they want. A high vibe soul will know that what they need to do now is turn their full attention to themselves and clearing out anything that no longer serves them from within.

 

A high vibe soul will be in appreciation and gratitude for the relationship and the break up.

 

Yep I said that.

Gratitude for the break up,

because they see its purpose.

 

However, a low vibe soul will flounder in pain, suffering and blame.

They will demand attention and stomp around like a three year old having a tantrum. They will act out in childish ways, trying to cause pain in hope of gaining attention from the one they lost. They will not be able to take responsibility for their part in the transition and they will feel as though they simply cannot move forward until the other person does this or that to clear things up for them.

They will focus on fear and they will want the other to feel pain as well.

 

They will not see the growth and opportunity that the transition brings with it, but instead see destruction and attack.

A low vibe soul cannot see past their own ego to find the love that was there in the relationship and still remains.

A low vibe soul is caught in their own inner hell where they will reside until they choose to view life differently and take responsibility for the events, thoughts and feelings that are all thiers. They will be destined to repeat the drama that they believe is happening to them over and over again, where they will mask themselves from their beauty, their core and alignment to God all in the concept that “it’s not fair.”

 

So you see beautiful,

It is very important that you know what direction you went in the transition. It says bundles as to where you are now and what you are manifesting for your future.

It shows just how much love you have for yourself and whether you  understand how powerful you are.

 

Because you are powerful.

You co-created this transition for the purpose of becoming more of WHO YOU REALLY ARE.

 

No matter the direction you went ( up or down in frequency) this fact remains the same.

 

Now the only thing you need worry about is not if the other loved you, or still does, but if you love you enough to let go and thrive.

 

You are so f-cking worthy of a F-ck Yes! Life.

It’s time that you recognize that and see that ALL relationships are here to elevate you, educate you and clarify what you want and who you really are.

 

As Always,

Stop Existing & Start Living

“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

 

Want to kick 2021 off with a high vibe and call in the relationship of your dreams? Meet your soulmate and know that you really got this? Message me for deet’s on what I have in store to make just this happen and more for YOU.