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We Are Meant To Live In The Magnitude of Awe-ness…

Travel, its something I love.
And if you follow me then you already know this.
But you may not know why I adore travel so much.
 
I love travel because of the growth it gives me.
Travel expands my thinking,
my understanding of self,
of others,
of life.
 
Travel opens me up to knew ways of viewing the world.
My world and the world around me.
 
Travel is healing to the soul.
 
Last night we were laying out under the stars on the beach here in Riviera Maya,
little crabs crawling across the sand,
the waters sloshing up against the shore line,
and a sky so full of stars.
We laid there in silence for some time,
just witnessing the magistracy of the sky.
So vast.
So impressive.
Every now and then a shooting star would stream across,
and my inner child would make her wish.
 
There we lay with the breeze of the warm summer night against our bodies.
 
So small against the immense sky above,
and yet I felt powerful.
There I laid feeling the magnitude of the creator moving through me in that moment.
 
And I was in Awe.
 
That is why I love to travel.
 
This morning we were up and back to the beach,
snorkeling gear in hand and off to the small coves that lined the shore.
 
Out into the turquoise waters we swam,
following colorful fish of all sizes,
and then upon the reef line we floated,
just watching the wonders below.
Again, the magnitude of this space.
A whole world around us.
Immense, powerful and full of life.
As the waves crashed upon my back every so often,
as I swam across the reef,
watching the sea creatures,
the fish flock and flurry,
I felt so small,
so unimportant.
 
And yet I was deeply aware of the power I was holding inside myself.
I could again feel the magnitude of all of life,
of the creator move through me.
Wash around me,
and make itself known.
 
And I was in Awe.
 
That is why I love to travel.
 
No matter where I have traveled in our beautiful world,
I found a people to love.
I have found beauty in their smile’s,
in the meeting of another’s eye.
I have found compassion in the witnessing of life somewhere foreign.
I have found peace and joy in bonds that make us all human.
I have seen so many a beautiful people,
embrace me as I travel,
and I am in gratitude for them and for these experiences.
 
And I feel small,
unimportant,
I feel like how could I ever make any ripple worth anything.
And then the words of a stranger come upon me,
and I smile.
I feel the message of God.
The message that we are all human.
We are all family.
And just my witnessing and embracing of this,
is a ripple.
The connection experienced with this people,
with just this one soul,
it changes us.
It expands us.
And we grow.
 
I feel the love of the creator move through me in moments like this.
I feel the compassion,
the adoration and gratitude.
I feel the bonds of being human.
And I smile.
 
I am in Awe.
 
This is why I love travel.
 
In the arms of my lover I smile,
laughing and enjoying the moments.
Allowing the energy of life to move about us.
Yes, here too is a reason to love travel.
For all the magnitude of this world,
of the skies and seas,
for all the diversity of its people,
here too,
just between him and I is a world to be discovered.
And in moments such as these,
as we travel,
we reveal knew aspects of ourselves.
We drop our guards just a bit,
we allow a softening of our hearts,
and opening of the connection.
And here with no one else to interfere,
we explore.
 
We travel perhaps not to some strange land,
but still we explore.
The land that resides within each of us.
The land here that is revealed.
 
Laughter.
Connection.
Conversation.
Touching.
and
Experiencing this world.
 
And as our eye’s meet,
as a smile crosses each of our lips,
we too are forever changed because of this moment.
Because of this travel.
Expanded.
 
And I am in Awe.
 
So many people say no to travel.
They refuse to venture out into the world,
they keep themselves closed to the adventure known as life.
They keep them shut away from the people of this earth,
out of fear they remain hidden,
and in their fear of the adventure,
of the people,
they also show the fear in their hearts.
They choose to remain closed.
They choose to remain small.
Never feeling the true magnitude of this life.
The true bounty of this earth or the vastness of God.
 
This life was meant for the taking.
The taking of the adventure.
the communion of the people.
This life was meant for the Awe.
 
And here,
here is where you will discover just how powerful you really are,
but first you must want for it.
First you must crave the Awe.
The power.
It is there.
In your heart,
in your soul,
in the people of this earth.
 
Dare to travel and you will see.
You will meet the creator in every step of your journey.
And you will be in Awe.
 
As yourself,
“If not now, when?”
 
Life is too short to stall.
 
As Always,
“Stop Existing & Start Living”
Coaching for Grown A*s Believers
 
Expand your life,
expand your thinking.
Expand your heart.
 
As you open you grow.
And here is where you meet your power,
and your joy.
 
Take my hand and let’s go.
Explore 1:1 Coaching with me from anywhere in the world.
Message me for deet’s on how to level up your life adventure TODAY.
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WHY FAKING IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT IS A BAD IDEA….

WHY FAKING IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT IS A BAD IDEA…
 
A long time ago I remember sitting in a self-growth workshop in Sacramento, California.
I remember my eagerness,
my excitement,
my desire to learn the fundamentals to achieving everything that I wanted to manifest in life and business.
 
And like any young, turned on, impressionable person, I found myself a sponge to everything the speaker had to offer.
I took pages of notes and went home to put my head down and get to work on what I assumed would require a lot of hard work.
 
THE GOAL:
 
$100k a year.
Freedom and flexibility in schedule.
Travel.
Connected relationships and amazing experiences for my family and self.
 
THE REALITY:
 
One broke AF situation.
Exhaustion.
Zero travel except to live with family because at times we could not make ends meet.
Disconnect relationships and fighting.
Fear.
Doubt.
And lots,
and lots of hard work.
Cold calls, paper advertisements, door knocking.
Training’s, meetings, cold prospecting,
a feeling of overwhelm and bondage.
 
Ye I wanted to believer that I could go from here to my desired life.
 
I believed that if I smiled,
pretended and just kept to the hustle that I would have a break through.
 
After all I was building my story.
 
I believed that I needed to work harder.
I needed to apply myself more and figure out the “trick” to getting the client and keeping the client.
 
I believed all of this,
and at the same time my inner voice laughed at me and let me know loud and clear daily that I could believe in myself,
I could speak the words and play the part,
all of it, but under it all was a core foundation of a scared, poor little Northern California girl who had no concept of what abundance in money, time, freedom, love even felt like.
 
That this girl did not know much about herself even.
This girl did not know about connection or even trust that any of it could happen.
 
Matter a fact if I had gotten real with myself back then I would have discovered what I now refer to as “empty desire” because I had nothing in my life experience to support it.
 
What I did have was bills, bad credit, small children and tons of stress. I had frequent fights with my spouse, fear and a deep concern of not making it work.
 
A fear of not succeeding.
 
But I smiled.
I looked pretty.
And from the outside appeared as though I had some seriously good shiz goin’ on.
 
But it was all FAKE AF!
 
Contrary to popular belief “Fake it till you make it,”
simply does not work.
 
It does not work because you cannot FAKE YOUR VIBE.
 
You cannot fake your thinking,
what you are focusing on.
 
You cannot lie to God.
No matter how you dress yourself up,
no matter how big your smile,
no matter how abundant you may appear,
when you are faking it,
your not vibing in authentic abundance.
 
Because if you were vibing in abundance then you would not have to fake it.
 
It just would already be so.
You would see it showing up in your life RIGHT NOW.
And that smile and joy would not be fake.
That gratitude you keep spouting out would be more than words.
Your vibe would truly be turned up and turned on,
not a mask from fear of not succeeding and making all the naysayers correct.
 
If you were not faking it you would not care what everyone who doubts you says or thinks.
 
You would have certainty and confidence that it just was and so it just would be.
 
So how then do you go from this place of frustration, fear, doubt and not having but desperately wanting to authentically have your dreams, goals and desires JUST SHOW THE EFF UP?
 
How do you feel good when you got nothing but debt, anxiety and overwhelm hanging over your head?
 
How do you take yourself to the next level when you feel like your crashing for all the trying that you are doing?
 
Everything your wanting for is a FEELING.
 
And the feeling translates to vibration.
The vibration magnetizes itself to an equal or similar vibration of manifestation.
 
SO the trick that you are looking for is not to fake you outside appearance.
 
Vibration has no care about what name brand your clothes are or what type of car you are driving.
 
Vibration knows you intimately.
It knows your heart – where your desire resides.
And it knows your thoughts – where you do the true work of creating those desires.
 
Those thoughts turn to feelings.
And those feelings are your GPS to achieving with ease and grace your desires.
 
SO the answer,
the answer you are looking for is to NOT FAKE IT!
 
But instead to find good thoughts.
 
No matter how big or small they are,
no matter how general they are,
no matter if they are on the subject of your life you want to create AMAZING in or not,
 
JUST FIND GOOD THOUGHTS.
Find them.
Focus on them.
Feel them.
Take yourself into that,
make it a real feeling.
And watch the magic happen.
 
You got this!
It’s Yours So FEEL IT.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Want to know how you can have consistent good vibe thoughts an feelings?
 
Let’s chat and get you started on 1:1 elite coaching from anywhere in the world today.
Message me for deet’s.
 
You are worthy of the life you desire.
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Your Criticism Enables My Scarcity Mindset.

 

Your criticism enables my scarcity mindset!

Why can’t you just be happy for me?
Why can’t you just smile and let me live my life?
Why do you have to always try and fix what you deem broken,
when perhaps….

Just perhaps its not broken at all.

I get that your intent is not to slice me to the bone.
I get that you have no concept of the shame, the fear, the lack of worthiness that you trigger each time you aim to fix what you think needs fixing.

But honey beware.

Your words are powerful.
although you do not control me.
Ultimately it is my choice to fall prey to your desire for my brokenness,
be warned that these words you cast upon me and others,
be warned that these judgements,
these criticism’s have power.
And even the strongest in nature,
those of us who rebel from the control,
yes even us can be penetrated after time,
with these words of fear.

As time passes and you search for more weakness in me,
as you look for how you can save me,
teach me,
heal me,
support me,
your words become like Chinese water torture,
like nails on a chalk board.
They make me cringe,
they set me on defense.
They steal away my ability to feel you.

And now I stand here guarded.
Ready to take my punishment.
Now before I even start to share,
before I take any step forward or to the side,
I already hear your words of criticism,
and I know…
I know that no matter what I do,
no matter how turned on I am to my life,
no matter how much in flow and a state of passion I might be,
no matter the creative genius that wants to stem from my core.

I know.
I know that in your eye’s I am broken.
I know that in your mind I need to learn.
I know that you see me as this child,
this silly naive thing that needs your saving,
needs your fixing.
And so why bother?
Why even try and speak my truth?
Why try and do anything,
because I already know.

And so I settle into the average and ordinary.
I settle into the surface level relating.
Depth and being seen is too painful.

I feel stupid.
I feel dumb.
I feel ugly.
I feel unlovable.
I feel like no matter what,
it does not matter,
because I am wrong.

Or I will get it wrong.
Or it will be messed up by my touch,
by my words,
it’s just me.
And I should just not be.

Your criticism enables my scarcity mindset!
You enable me to not step up and be all that I can be.
You enable me to fear my power.
You enable me to fear my creative soul.
You enable me to keep hating myself.
You enable me to see all my lack of worth.
You enable me….

AND FOR WHAT?

Do you really believe that your words of judgement will entice me into becoming more?
Do your really believe that you know my calling,
my purpose,
my heart better than I or God?
Do you think that your need to fix me is inspiring?

Because it is not!
And lucky for me…
I will never listen.
And when I feel these chisels from you to cut me down,
to make me fear,
to make me become logical.

Yes lucky for me,
I am a F-CK YOU!

and I will move away.
I will step back.
I will turn around.
I will not listen.

Instead I will laugh.
Because you,
you are the lost one.
You are the broken one.
You are the one that needs me.

But honey,
that you will not ever have.
Because the tribe I run too,
is a tribe that is wild.
A tribe that is free.
A tribe that is supportive through love.
Supportive through the building up.
Through the appreciation.
Yes that is my tribe.

And so I encourage you to stop this ridiculous need of cutting down, and finding fault, of looking for what is broken or wrong.
I encourage you to instead step into your power.

I encourage you to look for what makes you happy with me.
What makes you happy with life.
What makes you happy with you.

Because all this criticism although seeming pointed at me,
it is not I that you actually have issue with,
it is not I that frustrates you so,
it is not I who needs your saving…

But it is YOU.

So look in that mirror my dear.
Look closely in your eye,
and tell yourself something positive.

Then continue to speak those words.
Because what you focus on grows.

I love you.
You are worthy.

And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Message me for deet’s on my Autumn 1:1 Coaching Subscriptions to embrace your poser and be all you can be.

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Why Do Some Men Come Back Around?

Sitting here eating breakfast and my phone goes off…
It’s a text message from a man I have known for over a decade now.
A man that makes my pussy throb at his freakin’ text no matter how bad my day is going or how disconnected I feel.
I can hear his voice right now as I sit here and type.
That low, sultry Matthew Mcconaughey voice of his.
That smile,
that sparkle in his smiling eye’s.
Yes just his words in this text bring back so many a feeling of the past.
His words ignite a strange hunger at my core.
And have me in a stir of wonder.
 
And yet…
 
Yet I know.
yet I have tasted of the offerings that he has tempted me with for the last decade.
And that YES that I have given to him so many a time in the past has only taught me to say NO.
 
So what is it about this man.
What is it about many men in my world,
throughout time and relationship that makes them come check in on me and consistently check to see if there is a door open for them to explore a second or third round of temptation.
Why do they find a need or desire to see if they can now capture what they so easily let go of back then?
 
Perhaps it is regret.
Perhaps they have grown up some and realized what was being offered back then,
the beauty of what could have been.
 
Over and over again I hear from the men of my past,
about their deep love for me,
their adoration,
and how they wish things had gone differently.
They ask for just a coffee date.
Just a glass of wine and simple conversation.
They want to rekindle the friendship.
the connection.
 
They want to know that I am okay and happy.
 
and yes, they are hopeful.
Hopeful that I am hungry.
Hopeful that I seeking.
That I am open to what possibilities are on the path as it merges but for this moment in time.
 
Again, and again I am at fault for exploring this merging path.
Because the reality is that the majority of men of my past are pretty amazing men. I adore and love them still and am in deep gratitude for the moments and experiences that we shared.
And I miss those moments sometimes.
I miss their uniqueness.
 
I am always hungry.
My heart desires for its rapture once again,
and so yes it is always seeking for that soul that will ignite it and open it up to that that it has experienced in the past.
I find myself also thinking about this running theme of my ex’s.
And how the one’s who truly captivated me and still hold a piece of me in some strange way many a year later ALWAYS choose to re-explore the waters of relationship with me.
 
Or at least let their love be expressed verbally here and there.
They want me to KNOW their heart.
 
And this is beautiful.
This is a beautiful side of the masculine.
Scary though.
Because each of these men wake up skeletons in the closet of my heart,
and make me sit at the brink of “What now?”
 
Testing each breath as we exchange a moment yet again.
And I lean in and learn.
 
But wonder.
 
I here in my head as I type this these words of a man that I love deeply and is one of these gentlemen of my past that touches base with me to share his heart every now and then.
 
I see him with his handsome smile, his rich brown eye’s looking at me and explaining to me that when a man goes that deep with a woman and he feels touched by her like that, that he will always touch base again and a again in hope that perhaps the timing is right now.
 
I hear the words of another man that holds my heart share with me that he now see’s his fault,
he wishes for an new opportunity,
but he know’s that my trust is broken,
what can he do to prove himself?
 
I feel the heart beat of my first love as he holds me firmly in a hug. I feel him not wanting to let go. As though it is that moment in our parting 25 years back. He looks at me with a glimmer in his Irish eye’s and smiles because he know’s it cannot ever be. But his love is felt, his desire as well.
 
So why?
 
What about a woman ignites a man to this level to pursue for years?
 
Ladies, what do you think about the men in your world that you dated years back and are still holding on? Still testing the waters of connecting a decade or more later?
 
Guys, why do you chase for a decade?
Why do you come back around every so often if you chose differently way back then.
 
What is it that makes a man want for a woman he did not embrace and hold dear when he had her?
 
Thoughts from this morning as I sit here receiving texts from past lovers, who had a chance, who had an opportunity to create something beautiful with me many a moon ago.
 
It’s a running theme in my relationship world.
How about you?
 
Love to hear your thoughts.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers
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This Is Why Your Woman Will Not Pursue You.

Can you imagine starving?
Can you imagine what it must be like to be so hungry and not have food available,
or to not be able to consume the food that is there close to you?
Now I have been hungry before,
there are actually many days that happen where I almost forget about eating. I get so caught up in what I am doing and who I am working with or enjoying,
that food does not cross my mind.
My body though is still hungry.
I might occasionally feel the pains and grumblings of my hunger,
but unless I focus in on it, I can resist it and carry on about what I am doing.
Over time though, my blood sugar get’s low.
My head starts to pound.
I get moody, feel light headed and tired.
I can’t keep focused.
And funny enough, in moments like this, the last thing on my mind is eating.
Instead I wonder about, wondering what’s wrong with me?
Because in the not eating, I forget about food.
 
It never fails though in these moments.
Someone comes along, with something that awakens me to my hunger.
 
I am sure you have had this experience.
You are hungry.
You get side tracked.
You get more hungry.
You ignore the hunger pain.
You dull your senses.
You feel off.
AND THEN……
you smell a burger and fries.
 
Yes, it’s that moment.
You can maybe even smell that burger and fries right now.
You pass that restaurant and you smell it.
 
YUM!!!!!
Your body ignites.
Your stomach yells at you.
Your gut gurgles and says, STOP.
EAT.
 
Okay,
so you can understand this right?
 
Now imagine these two scenarios.
 
1) You are hungry like this. Starving. You catch a whiff of something yummy. Someone walks by you with that burger or steak. You follow them. You smell its juiciness. You can taste it almost. You are so hungry all you desire is a bite. You wish to just taste it. And they look at you and say, “No – my food!”
What are you feeling? What do you do?
 
2) You are hungry like this. Starving. You smell that burger and you decide to run through the drive trough. You order it plus the fries and a soda. You inhale it without thought because of your level of hunger. It’s a piss poor quality burger. It lands in your gut like cement. You feel sick. You feel even worse than before you ate it. You know how bad it was for you and you start to overthink your haste. Now you are upset with yourself for doing what you know you should not have done. You should have waited and taken better care of yourself but the hunger was REAL. What are you feeling? What do you do?
 
In either of these situations,
you are not being fed.
You are not being fulfilled.
There is no real satisfaction.
You just get frustrated.
Irritated.
And want for more, but find yourself KNOWING that what you want is not what you got.
 
Many people when they make poor food choices that make them feel yucky, commit in that moment to not do it again. Or at least not do it to soon again.
 
Many people who are hungry like this, do not choose then to hunt down all the fast food that makes them feel less than good.
 
Many people when they see a link to something causing them issues, choose to either avoid it, or limit their exposure to it.
 
Right?
That seems normal and within logical reason, wouldn’t you agree?
 
Well, here is the thing love.
This tale of starving. Of fast food.
It is actually not about food at all.
It is about satisfaction. Desire. or lack there of.
It is about STARVING.
 
But what I speak of here is the starving of good sex.
The starving of gourmet fulfillment.
I speak here what almost every woman would agree upon if they were raw and real about it.
 
That they are STARVING.
Hungry for something that they hardly get.
 
Can you imagine that 75-80% of the time that you have sex that you do not feel good from it?
That you actually feel yucky.
 
Can you imagine that you feel 75-80% of the time like it was a waist of time, energy and you feel disconnected and more empty then before you went into the situation?
 
Can you imagine that 75-80% of the time that you had sex that you did not enjoy it, have an orgasm?
 
All of this and more is accurate when we truly look into female sexual experience.
 
Gentlemen,
You get fed every time you eat.
You eat what you want and you like it most of the time, because shiz,
it’s food and who does not like food.
 
Well us ladies,
75-80% of the time we eat,
we feel sick from it. And we are not really eating,
we are just getting that whiff of the food.
So who wants to sit in their hunger and just catch a whiff at best 75-80% of the time?
 
Who in their right mind would desire,
pursue, look for or even be excited in the least to have that experience?
 
Not too many people I am guessing.
Yet, our partners ( and I say this as a woman who has had a partner want me to desire just this that I speak on plus the hundreds of couple’s that I have worked with over time who have the male partner wanting to be pursued, desired and frustrated with the woman on not doing so)….
 
Our partners, want us to want this for ourselves.
And they wonder why…
why we women shut down.
Why the sex turns from hot to Anniversary, birthday and Christmas sex.
They wonder what is wrong with their female partner to not want such a wonderful, connective, fulfilling thing such as sexual intimacy.
 
And I tell you in my rawest truth here,
THIS IS ONE MAJOR CONTRIBUTING FACTOR.
 
So what is the answer?
How can you fix her issues?
How can you make sure that she get’s fed?
 
 
These are the questions that are asked in couple-hood.
 
First, it is a two way street.
Both parties need to work on it individually and together, communication MUST happen. Things must change in order to get the results desired.
 
Second, You cannot fix her. She is not broken. And she is not a toy for your fixing Mr. Fix It. So effing STOP! You can however become a better lover. You can gain presence, compassion. You can inquire with skill. You can slow the F-ck down. You can actually want her to enjoy and there fore not get irritated and bored with the time she needs to take. You can do your own internal work, emotionally and mentally.
 
Third, you can do the above two.
And of course, if you need more help.
You still don’t know what to do,
to change.
You can seek outside help.
Like mine, ( Yes my shameless plug there…. but it’s true, you have been doing what you have been doing and you have been blind to what is happening until this moment or you have been really good at ignoring it all and hoping that it would just fix itself. That has not worked though. So… insert my shameless plug again please.)
 
And here are the facts,
sex is important. No matter how we try to discredit it.
Sex and money are the two major factors in relationship breakup and happiness.
 
Many people think they have a successful relationship because they look at the longevity of that relationship. The years spent together.
 
However, the truth is that relationship success is not about the years together,
it’s about the joy. The happiness. The over all feeling that the relationship leaves you with.
 
And most relationships under this mindset of success are far from successful.
 
So I ask you today,
are you content having and providing a fast food sex life at best to your relationship? The person you love and cherish?
 
Or is it time that you discover how to truly feed her?
 
Yes the gourmet variety.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
‘Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Message me for deet’s on my 1:1 global coaching opportunities and more.
 
You deserve a deeply connective, turned on bedroom life and more.
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Your Neediness Is Stopping Your F-ck Yes! Life.

I know that you want it baby.
I can see it in your eye’s.
I know that you desire for that F-ck Yes! Life.
You want the connection,
you want the passion,
you want the happiness and direction.
I can see your desire.
It washes across your face as you speak.
It is a hunger,
and you are starving for it.
 
But luv,
here is the issue,
here is the challenge that you cannot see for yourself.
This hunger that is pulling at you,
it has you blinded to what you are missing.
 
And that my luv,
is not what you hunger for,
NO.
What you are missing is the presence,
the release,
the surrender.
You are missing your own allowing,
out of the fear that you miss all that you hunger for.
You fear that by letting go,
you will loose.
And what you are causing is the very lose of what you want so deeply for.
 
You are desperate and hungry luv.
You are a ravenous beast.
You are dangerous.
You are pushing away everyone and everything,
because of your fear.
And this has you even more hungry, does it not.
 
The answer to what you desire,
the way to getting it for certain.
It is not in you chasing.
It is not in you demanding.
It is not in you threatening,
or shaming,
or manipulating.
No you will never achieve what you want in these futile attempts.
This sort of immaturity may make you feel powerful,
it may show you evidence of you getting for a moment,
but you will loose it all quickly,
if you do not allow yourself to have it through your true power.
 
And that power is felt in your love.
It is seen and experienced in your presence.
In your opening to understanding that your self-centeredness is holding your desire at bay.
 
You want to be seen.
You want to be felt.
Understood.
You want to be wanted.
 
And you can have all of this and more.
Life wants to give to you luv.
But in order to have it,
you MUST allow it.
And this will come when you let go.
 
Let go of your neediness.
Let go of your control.
Let go of your hunger.
In your trying,
you are resisting.
 
You are missing all that you can be.
You are missing all that you can have.
You are missing all that you can give,
can share.
 
Because luv,
yes,
it is all about you.
You are for certain the most important person in the room.
But your importance,
must rest assured in confidence not need.
You cannot demand the spot light at the cost of the room.
You cannot fear your own light to the point of hiding from your shadow.
 
The way to have it all.
The path to your F-ck Yes! Life…
It is through your release of the NEED.
 
Ask yourself today luv,
where am I holding on? Where am I resisting all that I can have by insisting on my need?
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
Message me for deet’s about 1:1 elite coaching opportunities today while they still are available.
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Dropping the Orgasmic Ball Makes You an A-Hole (Guest Post Addison Bell)

I got dropped.
Again and again.
Over and over.

In the mental health and spiritual community, we are taught to focus in on the fact that we are responsible for ourselves and also that we are the most important person in our lives.

The notion that we must take care of self first and foremost and that we can not control another person’s feelings.

All very true teachings.

Yet, like much of life… it’s not always clear cut.

Today I sit here wrestling with my ego.

Because although we are the center of our own universe and must take care of ourselves. There are also times as humans where I believe we DO take second fiddle and time where we ARE responsible to a certain level for someone.

In truth, there are times where we lend our trust to another and have an agreement that we won’t get dropped. There is a consent put into place that if someone steps into a certain level of vulnerability, trust, and openness that we will be held.

If you are asking for vulnerability… then you should be able and willing to hold the other person’s vulnerability.

If you are asking for someone to step into trust… then you should be willing to stand steady to hold their deepening.

If you want your partner to truly surrender in sex and fully open to their next level orgasmic energy then you ARE offering SPACE… and you are therefore responsible for holding that space if they allow that surrender. The time, the emotion, the energy, etc.

And so you DO hold a level of responsibility for that other human.
Does that take away their responsibility for self???
Of course not.
We are still responsible ultimately, as adults, for ourselves but from a base level of not being self-centered as*holes…

It is important that we hold ourselves responsible for situations in which we are stepping into.

And therefore, there are times in our lives when we are NOT the most important person. There are times when despite us being in emotion that we must learn impulse control and learn to breathe into our feelings. There are times when it is appropriate to put others needs before our own.

I know that many will say… “You’re the most important person in your life and it’s okay to be selfish”.

And I agree with this most of the time.
We live in a society where we don’t know how to truly take care of self and where we often try to be people pleasers. On a daily basis, this is not healthy and will drain us consistently.

Being focused on taking care of self is perfectly beautiful.

Though the issue happens when we are only self-focused to the detriment of others needs and consent.

This is particularly true in our sex… and where my personal focus on this topic seems to be today.

When your woman (or man) opens up, when you have asked them either verbally or non-verbally to step to that deeper level of surrender.…

Then you are a straight-up A**hole if you drop them!

This past weekend, I did a bi-annual Summer Orgasm Camp. It is my favorite workshop because of the different things that get brought up and the healing I see happening at the event.

The conversation ventures everywhere from energy, to shame, to tantric practices, to good old straight sex education that is missing.

But for this particular workshop, I am blessed to not just teach but also to be the model.

I got deep… I got vulnerable… I opened…
And I got my ass dropped no less than 6 times.
My orgasm got dropped
My boundaries got dropped
My deep-hearted requests

A moment where I, yes I, am the most important person in the room barring a MAJOR emergency.

Most of these drops were unintentional or unavoidable.
Welcome to putting on my big-girl panties!!!

Everyone is there at the event in a learning process.
I actually go in knowing that I will get dropped a few times… particularly in the orgasmic energy realm.

And it is a beautiful experience for me to work on taking care of myself energetically and asking for what I need.

Though there was a pivitol moment for me at the workshop that truly shows where we constantly drop people in sex, in relationship, and in life.

And more importantly, shows an example of when someone else’s needs come before our own.

At the event.
After the demo and lab are totally complete (and therefore the workshop), there is an aftercare process of bringing me back into my body and grounding me energetically that is an agreed-upon process with my co-teacher.

Giving me a few moments where I get to breathe… share any emotions coming up after being touched by many random strangers…and also to make sure I am physically doing alright.

This time I was feeling unusually ungrounded and dizzy from the energy. I was also experiencing a variety of emotions and had some physical issues arising as a result.

The pivitol moment happened the moment I sat up and a gentleman came up asking questions and continued to pull her away from me.

My co-teacher shared no less than three times that she needed to focus on supporting me and she would be happy to answer these at another time.

I overheard him state several times that he was needing to talk…
DEMANDING with his words and actions her attention.
DEMANDING that she refocus from me to him.
AND FORCING HER physically to leave my side.
NOT respecting boundaries she continued to state
NOT respecting my process after being vulnerable with him and the rest of the class

This is a beautiful example and a mirror for what we often do in the bedroom and life.

Not being present enough and confident in our own ability to hold our emotions that we vicariously walk over others and also in that lack of presence we DROP the other people in the situation.

Whether we realize it or not we send out self-centered vibes
A selfish person would have gone and taken care of self.
Would have asked if the other person was available and if they were not available would then find another tool in the self-care toolbox to manage.

Sometimes others needs do trump ours in certain moments.
This does not mean that our needs don’t matter!
Of course, our needs matter!
This just means that there are priorities in life and sometimes we can’t be the priority.

Sometimes the priority is in learning to hold ourselves
Sometimes the priority is in waiting until we can have true focused attention

Because I know for a fact that the gentleman this weekend did not get my co-teachers full attention and presence.

And in fact, becomes a “using” energy.
The orgasmic energy was used and appreciated and needed for the learning and then easily thrown away when it no longer was serving him.

And we all have done this at some point.

We are human and so therefore constantly dropping each other consciously and unconsciously.

Where could you be dropping the energy and stepping out of selfish energy and into self-centeredness today?

Love, Light, & Blessings,
Addison

www.addisonbell.net

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Breathe In Your Orgasm

It’s light hearted,
its shame removing,
it’s triggering as F-ck!
It’s connected and compassionate.
It’s educational and real AF.
It’s how I coach.
 
Yesterday, I was privileged to teach my 9th annual Orgasm Camp. Yes, I just said that ORGASM CAMP.😱
 
We had a packed room as always,
with so many new faces and fresh minds to share with.
It was beautiful to see those who have attended other events or worked with me in some fashion participating in the raw, authentic truth tales around ORGASM.
 
Female Orgasm.
And as usual there were those who could sit in the feeling of orgasm, and all that it means,
and those who could not.
 
What do I mean by sitting in the feeling of orgasm?
 
Orgasm is heightened sensation in the physical body,
it blends into waves of emotion and feelings then arise from that space as well.
It is electrical charges from our brain center that triggers different responses in our bodies, minds and “hearts”.
 
How this translates to yesterdays event….
and to YOU right now.
 
SO in Orgasm Camp,
as sexy as it may sound,
we have a seminar where my co-teacher and I verbally teach about female orgasm and S-E-X. We discuss the mental, emotional and physical aspects of the female sexual body.
Then we take a break and the model get’s ready.
The model then gets undressed and get’s on a table naked…..
 
OMFG! Yes there is a naked woman on a table at Orgasm Camp.
 
Can you feel the energy already?
The triggers going off?
The shame kicking in,
the judgement.
The fear.
The ego.
The desire.
The butterflies.
 
You may be thinking,
“Oh, hell no. I would not got to anything like that.”
 
And you may not.
Many people feel this way,
yet sex,
our intimate bedroom life is one of the main contributors to our happiness,
our confidence,
our body image,
our desire,
our feeling good,
and it plays a significant role in relationship success and happiness.
 
And the majority of people are shut down right HERE.
 
So the model get’s on the table naked,
and then I the teacher, demonstrates some basic tantric and quantum touch techniques on how to activate the body centers and help drop someone down out of the mind space where they can actually embody themselves and FEEL.
 
Little known secret about women’s sex… ( totally being sarcastic right now)🤣😂😛
 
Women need to get out of their head to be able to feel desire,
to be able to open up to sex,
to be turned on.
To want to go there and do it at all,
otherwise they are disconnected and it’s just “duty” based.
 
So I show in class the basics of sensual touch.
I show different touch techniques,
Show different toys,
and skills.
Then we move into revealing the secrets of the clitoris and the g-spot.
And the model…
well she get’s into orgasmic waves.
The real deal waves,
not some Harry met Sally moment waves.
And she show’s ORGASM.
The physical real world changes that occur.
The energetic changes that happen.
And so much more.
 
Now the students,
they sit and witness all of this happening.
They sit and breathe in the energy,
the feeling,
the ORGASM that is moving through the room.
And they feel what they feel in themselves.
 
Often, there is a great number who cannot witness this and choose to leave,
or to go to the restroom.
They tap their toes,
fold their arms and look about the room nervously.
They giggle,
and make under their breath comments,
the do whatever they need to release the energy that they feel coming up in them that they are uncomfortable with.
And they reduce their presence level in the space.
They hide.
They hide form their feelings by side tracking themselves with something.
 
This is a normal, human response to coping with something that is triggering.
We do it in many area’s of our life,
in all relationship,
and we do it to protect ourselves from that which we fear,
and that can potentially go against the grains of what we call our beliefs, our comfort, our understanding.
 
However, when we do this what we do is steal a beautiful opportunity from ourselves to witness our shadow lands,
to expand our knowledge and selves.
We step away from personal expansion and we choose in this moment to shut down to our own growth.
 
I recently read a statement from a a fellow coach/teacher that said,
 
“People will do just about anything to be happy,
except change.”
 
So true this statement is.
And we are all guilty as some level.
 
But when we choose to sit in this energy.
In this feeling,
when we choose to breathe it in and witness our shadow’s and expand them out into the light of revealing our truth,
we GROW.
 
We become more authentic.
And we discover our truth which always leads us to HAPPINESS.
 
Today I ask you to explore what triggers you.
Sit with the feelings that make you uncomfortable,
notice when you want to giggle or laugh,
when you choose to be sarcastic or opinionated,
when you fidget and hide.
 
Ask yourself,
“What am I hiding myself from? What am I fearful of seeing within?”
 
Ask yourself to go deeper into your own realms and DISCOVER a new layer of your truth.
 
Because under your shadows in is your light.
And your POWER.
 
Breathe it in Baby.
You are worthy of who you are.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
Live ORGASMICALLY today and be happy in who you are.
 
Reach out to me for deet’s on 1:1 private coaching to tap you into your true power and truth now.
 
You are worthy
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How Does Your Garden Grow Baby?

I like to move it…
move it…
 
I like to move it, move it…
 
I really do.
I like to move it,
until I don’t like to move it no more.
I push,
I run,
I jump,
I leap forward without thinking often.
My SOUL just get’s a hold of me and blurts stuff out and I am like,
“Well, I guess that is what we are doing now.”
 
And then once cast out there into the sea of the universe for all to hear and see,
and for God to deliver back to me,
I sometimes loose my luster and joy for it.
I sometimes go,
“Well, F-ck! I am just not feeling it now.”
 
And so I start to procrastinate.
I start to change my focus to something else.
I feel that the splash of passion that I had in that moment of alignment,
is gone.
 
And I feel constriction.
I might even feel a low grade sadness.
You could say depression even.
And I count myself lazy AF.
And then the fear kicks in even more so,
it kicks in because now what was just a mood of not feelin’ it in that moment has turned into me becoming certain that I am not good enough,
that I am to lazy to make it happen,
don’t really know what I am doing,
that what I am doing is a bad idea and that no one even want’s it.
 
And once taken hold,
this thought,
this fear it steals the fire right out of who I am at my core,
it steals the passion from feeling good,
from making it happen.
And in turn it applies all that passion,
all that focus onto what I fear the most.
 
The not happening of it.
The lack of moving it.
The lack of not getting,
and I step fully into scarcity.
Here then is where my passion is focused.
Here is where I am applying myself,
and here is what happens…
 
I GET EXACTLY WHAT I AM FOCUSED ON.
 
I get exactly what I am applying myself too.
 
I get exactly what I am putting my passion toward.
 
I am a MOFO Amazing manifestor!
 
Can you relate beautiful?
 
I bet you can.
We all do this.
The question comes as to what extent we manifest our fears vs. our dreams.
 
Those of us who get it,
like you and I, we know our power.
We know our strength,
and we BELIEVE.
 
That’s what makes us unique.
We are not blind.
With this sight of knowing though,
it’s all the more important for us to pay attention,
to do our inner work,
to listen the eff to our SOUL,
and to get into alignment with it.
 
It’s important because we have this thing,
this thing called our message.
It’s what we cannot, not do in this life if we are to feel complete.
 
It is our ART.
 
You have it beautiful.
You feel it at your SOUL.
And you know.
I know you know that you MUST,
you must do this THING.
And the only thing holding you back beautiful,
is this focus gig you got goin’ on.
It’s time that you accept your power beautiful.
It’s time that you realize once and for all that you are pulling yourself under the currents of restriction,
you are the ONLY ONE not allowing yourself to have all that you want.
And you are doing it by applying yourself to that, that you fear.
By having more passion toward what you do not want,
then what you desire with your heart and soul.
 
You are a powerful manifestor BABY.
 
And because of your power,
you create so quickly.
You know you do.
The evidence is all around you.
And your focus is intense.
 
Yes beautiful,
you know who you are.
It’s time for you to EMBRACE YOUR POWER.
 
And As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”
 
JOIN ME for 5 – weeks of Embracing Your Power NOW!
 
It’s f-cking AMAZING to be able to say that you live life the way you want to.
 
It’s f-cking AMAZING to be able to look into someone’s eye’s and just drop down into your body and show up however you may feel, without any fear of being accepted or not.
 
It’s f-cking AMAZING to embrace your gift’s and talents and experience God/Universe supporting you in your commitment to soul alignment.
 
It’s f-cking AMAZING to wake up and to feel proud of yourself for the decisions that you have made and for the results that life is giving you because of them.
THIS IS MY LIFE.
Can you say the same of your’s?
Do you live like this?
How would you describe your life?
Are you a .01%er person who COMMANDS in your life experience and blessing or do you just settle in and let life wash over you however it feels?
Do you look for opportunities to grow, expand and heal or do you surrender yourself to blame, guild, shame and regret?
What is your norm?
 
Your Manifesting Power NOW!
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It’s All About You Being Turned On BABY!

Turn it on BABY!
 
You can do it.
No matter what is happening.
No matter the storms that may be in your midst,
no matter what you fear,
what worries you and is scratching at your heals.
 
Turn it on BABY!
 
That’s where your power comes from.
That’s where the shift occurs.
That’s how you create the momentum.
 
It’s all about you TURNING IT ON.
 
This life of yours,
it’s your SHOW.
It’s all about you becoming you.
Learning you,
and you SHINE.
 
Those fears and doubts,
those worries that block you up and make you stumble,
that is not you baby.
That is but only your resistance to who you are.
That void that you feel rising up at times that trouble,
that void is only the separation between who you are allowing yourself to be and your SOUL.
 
Your TRUTH.
 
So TURN IT ON!
 
Because BABY,
You see when you turn on that light within,
when you tap into that powerhouse of energy,
when you let your SOUL SHINE,
you are truly UNSTOPPABLE.
 
You are a force in nature that cannot be shut down,
your heart,
your soul,
your beauty,
it is magnetic, true and divine.
And this baby,
this is who you are.
You have got to know,
you have just got t o know…
 
That feeling that resides,
deep within your CORE,
that voice inside,
that speaks those words,
they scare you because of their power,
they scare you because you doubt your worthiness,
but you KNOW.
 
Your desire is what keeps you coming back.
Your desire to feel this feeling.
This beautiful,
breathtaking feeling of your SURRENDER.
 
And what are you surrendering too baby?
 
To SELF.
To SOUL.
To that feeling.
 
And oh, how it washes over you,
like the breath of a lover,
your flesh ignites,
your heart pulse increases,
you feel flushes,
and excited.
You want to open to it,
you know you do.
Despite your fear….
 
You desire.
 
Desire this SURRENDER.
And so you must,
you must simply TURN IT ON.
 
But how do you turn on this light?
How do you just let go and allow all that you want to move through you?
How to surrender to your desire,
your dreams,
your POWER?
 
Simple, baby….
it’s about letting go of the reigns of control.
It’s about letting go of that which is so logical.
It’s about stepping into your messiness,
your chaos,
your creative vibe.
It’s about playing.
Laughing.
Being turned on to life.
And it’s about no longer doubting WHO YOU ARE.
 
Because baby,
you are magnificent.
You are powerful,
you are more than you can imagine.
And you are unstoppable.
 
But baby,
you know what you must do…
It’s the work of JUST DOING.
It’s doing that DAMN THING.
The THING that you fear the most.
Yes that THING…
and that thing is what is holding you back,
so let go baby,
and do the damn thing,
open up,
surrender to everything that you want my dear.
 
If you could only see,
that what you want,
wants you too,
and it there,
RIGHT THERE,
on the other side of your resistance.
 
It is there on the other side of the curtain that you are holding up,
blinding you from the life that you so badly want.
It is there.
But you must put your fears and doubts down.
You must allow yourself to FEEL.
You must surrender to your pleasure,
your TURN ON,
your WANTING of it.
And turn away from your fear of not having.
 
Yes BABY,
this is the thing,
the thing that you must do to have it all.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living – GET TURNED ON!
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believer”