Just another Gabolie-Gook Moment!

Gabolie-gook!
That’s about all that is in my brain tonight.
It’s just past midnight,
and I feel a need to press forward.
I feel an urgency,
a pressure.
I feel as though if I do not write,
if I just let go of it today that something astronomically horrible will most likely happen to my business,
to my social status,
to my flow
my following,
my life.
 
And so I sat here,
at my breakfast table,
with my mind feeling rummy.
My body tired from the day,
and I sat here,
feeling overwhelm and stress.
 
I played back the conversations of today.
The words and intimacies shared between myself
and clients. Myself and family. Myself and lovers.
And friends.
 
And I felt a call of duty to share something.
Not just something,
but something of value.
A lesson.
A deep thought.
And you know what I found?
 
Gabolie-gook!
 
Nothing more than gabolie-gook.
 
And what do I mean by this?
Or maybe perhaps the better question is,
Why the f-ck am I sharing my gabolie-gook experience with you?
 
I am sharing because we all have times that we feel great pressure to perform.
Great pressure to get something done.
We have deadlines.
We have time lines.
People are waiting on us,
and we have things that must get accomplished in order for the results that we want to happen.
And sometimes,
yes sometimes,
we have nothing more to offer to these moments.
Our minds,
and our hearts,
our creativity,
and our passion are all too tired.
And they leave us with gabolie-gook.
 
And guilt.
And shame.
And a feeling of not being good enough.
 
These gabolie-gook moments can crush us in seconds if we allow them too, or we recognize them for what they are.
 
Our soul saying,
It is time to PAUSE.
 
Time to give yourself space from this,
much like the athlete that has been pressing hard for days or weeks, who’s body will come to a point and demand a break, so that it can have some down time, some times to decompress and let go, so will our minds, our creative energy do the same.
 
Today I spoke with a man,
a business man who works for himself and he shared his frustration around the recent onset of a gaboli-gook moment in his life. He chose to let go of pushing forward on his work to take a little trip,
the trip took over priority in his life to the point that he focused for a few days prior on it more than his work.
Now a few days after his return, he finds himself still dealing with the lingering essence of this trip, causing him a gabolie-gook state of being.
 
Feeling pressure.
Feeling like he is falling behind,
feeling the gnashing of teeth on his heals,
his overwhelm from the gaboli-gook has now caused a state of procrastination.
Faking him out to believe that the ball is not rolling anymore,
that it is too heavy to push and get started up again,
that once dropped, it may not be able to be moved.
 
Here is the issue with gabolie-gook moments.
It is NOT the moment.
 
It is the thoughts and beliefs that we have around allowing ourselves the time to let go.
The fear of being lazy,
creates laziness.
 
And so we stumble in the darkness of our fear,
and we procrastinate.
 
We beat ourselves up for not achieving everything that was on our daily task list.
We look at our agenda’s and we feel exhaustion.
Hopeless in the face of this never ending task list.
This never ending moment of needing to create.
To do.
To build.
To network.
To be turned on.
 
So what is the answer?
The answer is simple.
 
SURRENDER and LOVE.
 
Love the moment.
No matter what it is.
Surrender to the beauty of the moment, no matter what it is.
 
And LET THE F-CK GO!
 
All moments are just that….
moments.
 
Fleeting.
 
They all pass.
They only linger and expand into something more,
when we focus in on them and water them with our thoughts and beliefs.
When we feel into them and manifest them into reality.
Your gaboli-gook moment,
is NOTHING.
 
Unless, you make it something.
So what are you choosing to focus on?
That is always the key.
 
Your thoughts.
Your feelings.
and then
Your actions.
 
 
Never another order.
 
When presented or feeling stuck in a gabolie-gook moment,
much like the one that I was in about 15 minutes ago,
the task to focus in on is to love the moment and accept it as it is,
then look for something to do that will pull your thoughts and feelings a different direction.
 
For example,
I chose to finish dealing with my closet that was getting rearranged,
and I chose move somethings around in my home that I had been waiting for the right time to do,
this gabolie-gook moment gave me that time.
It was a time for me to change up my thinking and feeling,
clear out some space and thus clear out the gabolie-gook moment with it.
 
🙂
 
An d here we are,
after midnight.
 
And my post is done.
And my much like the gabolie-gook,
the moment has passed.
 
Just remember,
As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
*Don’t get Stuck in the Gabolie-Gook!”
 
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Wish you could figure out a side hustle that made you good part time money and was something that you enjoyed?
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Let me show you what I have learned from the last two decades of being my own boss.
 
Take your business from where ever you are at,
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These are the steps that you need to master your BOSS-HOOD!
 
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Class starts this Sunday Nov. 18th
3 Day Intensive LIVE Global Access Workshop

Admit It! – You Are F-cking LAZY.

Admit it…
Seriously JUST admit already.
 
😲YOU are lazy as F-ck! 🛌
You know what you need to do.
You feel it in your bones,
you have the know how,
the knowledge,
the ability.
 
Your soul calls out to you daily, and YOU HEAR IT. 🗣️🧘‍♀️
But when it comes right down to it,
catching up on the series on Netflix is more appealing.
Watching that football game is more interesting.
Cleaning your mother f-cking toilet is higher on your priority list than doing the thing that you know,
you know without a doubt that you MUST DO,
in order to have the life that you want to have.
 
But,
But you are too f-cking lazy to just step the f-ck into who you are meant to be to achieve those dreams and desires.
 
🔥🔥👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨👠💍🥂✈️💃💃🔥🔥
 
You see having that freedom based life,
living according to your souls desire,
in alignment with exactly who you know you were born to be is not difficult.
 
Not difficult at all matter a fact.
 
The ONLY f-cking thing holding you back from being the person that your soul wants you to be is yourself. 💃💃💃
 
It’s all those things you have been told through your life experience so far.
 
Its all those logical, fear based things that you opt to buy into,
because buying into them is what everyone else is doing,
therefore that must make it right.
 
Your lazy because…
being part of the norm is more important to you than being authentically you.
 
getting along with the crowd is what you “think” will make you happy…
instead of saying F-ck YES to who you are and letting yourself shine.
 
Agreeing,
being a people pleaser seems like the best thing to do,
it keeps the peace.
Instead of claiming what you need/want and EXPECT from life.
 
But all of this,
does not solve any thing baby.
 
All of this only leads you to pain, suffering and not truly living.
Sure there is air in your lungs,
you are breathing still,
your heart is beating,
your body is alive.
 
But YOU ARE NOT LIVING!!!!!
 
🔥🔥👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨👠💍🥂✈️💃💃🔥🔥
 
and worst off you know it.
 
You know that life could be so much more.
And you want it to be more.
You want more than to just try to escape your pain,
your anxiety,
you want to not have it to start with.
You want happiness!
 
And you should.
 
It is your birthright after all.
 
But happiness only comes from truly living in alignment to to you.
 
Happiness only is felt by owning your own joy.
By understanding that you,
YES YOU….
are the one that can make it happen.
AND MUST.
 
No pay raise at work will do it.
No bigger better orgasm will do it.
No change of relationship status will do it.
No weight loss or diet will do it.
No my kids are honor role students will do it.
No my retirement fund has so much money it will do it.
Not even the affirment from your pastor that you are saved will do it.
 
Nothing.
Absolutely NOTHING,
will bring you the happiness that your heart and soul desire,
that leads you to do everything that you do,
that makes you flip your world upside down,
or keep everything the same,
will make you happy.
 
The only thing that will ever bring you happiness…
 
Is getting up off your f-cking ass,
and LIVING!
 
Yes BABY!!!
this is what you must do to have what you want.
 
But wait!🖐️
 
That’s to easy!
 
If it were that simple,
then everyone would be happy.
 
RIGHT ⁉️
 
Wrong!!!!!
 
Because the hardest,
most challenging thing,
that we humans face is just this.
 
BE OURSELVES.
 
You are far from alone in your desires.
Or in your sufferings.
 
You are far from alone from kicking around the concept of just f-cking being yourself.
 
💩Sh*t! It sounds pretty appealing huh? to just be you.💩
 
I bet that if I asked you to write down a list of ten things you value the most that,
 
HONESTY
INTEGRITY
AUTHENTICITY
 
would rank among some of the highest on your list.
 
Yet, you cannot seem to LIVE that way yourself.
And you wonder why life keeps bringing you experiences and people that are NOT these things.
 
Hmmmmmm……
 
Well here is a thought for you…🤔
Maybe, just maybe,
Life is showing you what you are lacking yourself,
and what you need to get,
in order to have what you want.🤯
 
⁉️W-H-A-T!!!!!!⁉️
 
Yeppers,
 
Like I said….
you are too f-cking lazy!
 
It really is that simple.
It really is about you just being you,
loving you.
Enjoying you.
 
The truth is that you make it too f-cking hard….
ALL THE TIME!
 
And you do it mainly by over thinking it.
 
So STOP!!! 🛑
Stop the insanity.
 
And just take the path that you were meant to take in the first place…
 
still yourself,
listen,
and act from that place….
 
🔥🔥🔥YES! that place of soul.🔥🔥🔥
 
You have always KNOWN what to do!
It has always been with you.
There is no secret.
 
It is just about being you!!!!!
 
So what is stopping you?
 
Oh RIGHT!!!!
I forgot there is new series on that looks really amazing,
gotta catch that first…..
 
Well,
don’t bitch to me.
 
Cuz’ I will only send you this note baby.
 
Don’t you think it is time?
 
TIME TO SAY YES.
 
Yes to YOU.
 
As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
PS💃💃💃
 
You Say You Want The F-ck YES Life Do You?
Well what is stopping you?
I bet it is….
Time.
Money.
Belief you can have it.
Feeling Like You Don’t Know Enough.
Lack of Support.
 
Am I correct?
 
You want it, but there are so many things that get in the way of you having it.
And another year goes by.
 
Another year that you find yourself sinking further into the rut,
into debt and lack of freedom,
another year of wishing,
but not achieving.
 
Or you have decided to step forward onto the path,
you went and got your real estate license.
You signed up for a cool new opportunity that turns you on.
You took on the mission to build your own home based business.
Or maybe it’s not you, but your partner. Your spouse.
You are a team.
And you are going to get ahead of life,
enjoy some travel,
enjoy some extra cash flow,
and get your kids into the school you want.
OR
retire early!!!!
 
Whatever the reason,
it’s hard to find someone who is simply content,
well maybe content is not the right word even.
HAPPY.
 
Happy with their work,
their financial state of being,
their job-family balance,
the time they have,
or
the level of stress they have.
 
So many of us are searching for something more fulfilling these days.
So many of us understand that TIME is our most precious resource and it is very limited and we never know when our time will be up once and for all.
 
So we hold anxiety around it.
We look at our families,
our lives, our health, our bank accounts,
and we stress.
 
Can you say that your’s is all that you want it to be?
 
Or do you want more?
Need more?
 
Have you decided to FINALLY take your life,
your FINANCIAL PICTURE into your own hands?
 
What have you ventured out to do?
 
Entrepreneur you deserve the F-ck YES Life!
But how do you go from where you are,
to where you want,
and it not take you 2 years, 5 years, a decade or more?
How can you avoid some of the major pitfalls that can eat an entrepreneur up?
 
 
As the mama of seven babies, an entrepreneur myself for the last 20 years, who has done my fair share of failing, I can tell you it can be REALLY difficult to know what to do and when to do it, or it can be pretty effing simple.
 
If I had had accessible the mentor’s back in the day that I do now, I would have not spent so many years struggling. But the struggle taught me a ton and has enabled me to be able to share with you what it really takes in today’s social media world to become your own BOSS.
 
And do it BIG!!!!
 
Join me next Sunday November 18th, 2018
 

You Say You Are in Alignment.

You say you are in alignment,
but you are broke.
You say that you are in alignment,
but you are fatigued and ill.
You say that you are in alignment,
but your life is in shambles and has you down.
You say that you are in alignment,
but nothings aligning to you.
 
 
Sound familiar?
Sound like maybe you personally have experienced?
 
I am familiar with this false alignment.
I have lived it.
Breathed it.
and been taken down by it.
 
It’s never fun to want so badly to be in alignment,
and turn around and see that you are not.
Fearful that if we admit that we are out of alignment that we will be leaning even more into all that we do not want,
so we just keep denying reality.
 
Yet, reality stares us in the face.
As we get asked to do something that we cannot afford,
we find ourselves wanting or needing something that we have to say, ” I am sorry, I cannot afford that, it’s too much.”
 
We wake up feeling like we were run over by a train,
day after day.
Or our bodies just cannot seem to feel good.
Illness bogs us down.
There is limited energy.
 
We look around our world,
and drama,
and trauma,
seem to be what makes up our existence.
 
Lady luck does not favor us,
even though we proclaim she does.
 
We know we are lying to ourselves,
we feel it in our bones.
we see it in our reflection in the mirror.
And we cringe.
 
There is a holding onto the fear.
You know that feeling.
 
That grasping in your chest.
That tightness in your gut.
That anxiety.
That melancholy feeling that just lingers.
 
And we hide.
We drink.
We eat all the wrong foods or nothing at all.
We smoke.
We “bake” ourselves.
 
And we hide.
We say its to help us let go.
It’s to help us decompress.
To help us sleep.
To help with this or that.
 
And sure it is.
 
But it is also there ,
and it is mainly this,
there to hide us from our pain.
From our lack of alignment.
 
The lies we tell.
The stories we make.
The masks we wear.
 
They do nothing but paint a picture of pain.
A pain that will devour us, if we do not get REAL.
 
Real with who we are.
Real with what we want.
Real with life.
And just open to the glory that is all around us.
Stop holding the fear,
stop practicing the thoughts,
the thoughts that kill us.
That steal from us our joy.
Our truth.
Our Abundant Life.
 
You say that you are in alignment.
But what does your alignment say about your vibration?
 
Today is a blessed day.
Or so it can be,
for you,
for me,
for all who claim it.
 
Today is a day,
that you can decide to say yes.
YES to yourself.
YES to your Abundant Life.
 
And this all stems not from the words that you speak in lies to your friends and family,
 
NO.
 
It comes from within.
The thoughts you think between the words.
The feelings you attach to those words and thoughts.
The love that you give,
not to others,
but to SELF.
 
Are you ready?
Are you ready to say YES?
 
I sure the f-ck hope you are.
This world needs you,
needs you to STOP your crazy self sabotage,
STOP your scarcity beliefs,
STOP your stinking thinking.
 
And JUST SAY YES!
 
Yes I am powerful.
Yes I am worthy.
Yes I am abundant.
Yes I am beautiful.
Yes I am vibrant.
Yes, yes, yes.
 
 
Look at that worthy, amazing soul in the mirror.
Look, really look.
And love them.
 
They need your love more than anyone else on this planet.
 
Many blessings to you this Sunday.
 
And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
Join me November 18-21st for my 3 day intensive online workshop.
Ass In The Sand – Facebook Live Workshop for Entrepreneurs Who Want It All
If you are an entrepreneur and you want to know how to take your biz from zero to $100k quickly, for real – then this intensive class is for you.
 

The Goddesses Dragon – My Tale of Surrender to the Masculine

He wants my surrender.
I can feel it at my greatest depths.

He wants me fully.
Open and inviting to his everything.
He wants my surrender,
and he is willing to work for it.
He is willing to take the journey into the depths of my being,
where he will uncover my hidden treasures,
which I fear may seem like dragons,
yet he assures me in his holding,
that he does not want to slay my dragons,
he only want to bask in their beauty,
he wants to sit with them in moments of stillness,
and he wants to just take them in.

He wants to see their beauty,
that beauty that only a deep understanding of love can handle,
that beauty that is so revealing of the soul.
Most are not strong enough within themselves to face this beauty,
this light,
this power,
the dragon.

Most fear being devoured by it.
What they begin in the courting process admiring from a afar,
they end with wanting to own and control.
Because it scares them.
It is wild,
it is fierce,
it is powerful beyond measure,
and desires to conquer the hearts of its admirers.

Few are able to hold themselves,
within the presence of this beast.

But, every now and then,
a gentleman comes about,
makes himself known,
and smiles in the presence of the magic he has found in caverns of the goddess.

And this gentleman,
this gentleman,
ignites the goddesses soul.
Sets it on fire.

And she desires to dance for him.
She desires to open herself for him,
and let him in.

Yet she is scared beyond measure,
her past tells of beautiful love saga’s,
intense love and loss.
She is fearful to become vulnerable with this man.
Because of the pain,
the pain that her heart will endure.
Yet she desires it all.
The love and depth,
are worth the pain.
Are worth the standing before her own dragon,
and smiling within its flames.

She know’s that this man,
is rare, and unique.
That he is one who can hold her fire.
At least for a time.
And she wants to surrender.
She craves the intimacy.
She craves the revealing.
She craves the integrity.
And the opening.

Physically.
Mentally.
Emotionally.

She leans in.
And she drops into his arms,
resting in his strength.
Resting in his admiration.
She let’s her emotions be seen.
She laughs,
she cries,
and she opens a bit more.

This cavern is deep.
And she realizes,
that her dragon is not to be feared.

She now understands what this gentleman has known,
the fire of her dragon will not harm when lifted in love,
it will only light the way to more caverns for them to explore.

Explore together.
The depths of their souls.

And so she looks at the gentleman,
with tears streaming from her eye’s,
and she say’s yes to the opening.

They lay together, enwrapped in the moment,
and they smile.

Blessed be to all of you who read this and venture into the depths of the goddesses caverns with hearts on fire,
and souls ignited.

Be wise in your journey and know that the dragon is there to protect the goddess from those that are unworthy,
and there to guild those who are,
into her surrender.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

For more coaching, truth shares and awakened education join me for 1+1 coaching via phone, zoom or in person. Or follow me on Facebook for my morning FREE Conscious Coffee Broadcasts where I share truth bombs and alignment asskickery.

Morning Alignment & Other Gratitude’s

 

Today I wake feeling so effing blessed.
So loved and supported.
So incredibly excited.
Vulnerable and open.
Today I wake fully alone in my bed,
in my home.
Not another human is here.
First time in almost a decade that I have had this experience at home.
My home is quiet,
Still and at peace.
The smell of sweet orange and cassia drift through the air,
The sun makes it way through my partially opened blinds as is greets me for this day,
Saying you are aligned.
Feel.
Feel your alignment by feeling how good you feel in this moment.
Notice your turned on, tapped in sensation.
The awe and gratitude of this morning.
You can almost feel heaven smiling as your heart says YES.

Mmmmmmm…..
Yes.

This is alignment.
This is a moment.
A moment to cherish.
To lean into and expand.

And so,
I stand in my kitchen,
Drinking my morning coffee,
Listening to Abraham Hicks,
And smile.
As the message is that of support.

Mmmmmm…
Mushrooms and onions saute in coconut oil.
Spinach wilting.
Eggs frying.
Sprinkle on some herb goat cheese and enjoy.
Side with something naturally sweet,
Strawberries.

Mmmmmmm…..
Yes.

Yes here is the moment.
Breathe it in.
Savor it.
Enjoy it.

And allow it to be the moment that carries.
Into the next.
And the next.

This is alignment.
It is the feeling.

That’s all it is.
All it ever is.
That pulls us into what we want.

The savory.
The sweet.
The rich.
The complex.
The bubbly.
Everything.

And when you want it all.
And know with certainty that is always available.
Then these seemingly small moments are no longer insignificant but instead powerful.

Because they share our truth around our alignment.
There is no hesitation.
There is so frustration.
There is no edginess.

There is just allowing.
Embracing.
And enjoying.

Of the moment.
And so it is.
And always can be.

When we let go.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start

Join me November 18-21st for my 3 day intensive online workshop.
Ass In The Sand – Facebook Live Workshop for Entrepreneurs Who Want It All
If you are an entrepreneur and you want to know how to take your biz from zero to $100k quickly, for real – then this intensive class is for you.

Learn More and Register HERE.

Don’t Sacrifice Your Life for Anything.

Change vs. Embrace
This is the statement of today that speaks so loud to me.
 
It carries with it the reality of how f-cking crazy we humans can be.
 
And none of us can escape the crazy.
These sort of thoughts based in fear of loss,
are among the worst.
They prevent us from truly living up to our full potential.
 
We fear change.
We fear embracing who we really are.
It feels like we have to give something up in order to become ourselves.
 
But that is silly.
It is all about expansion,
not about reduction.
 
Change does not mean that we have to sacrifice anything.
It means that we will make different judgments,
different choices then what we would under an old way of being. That is all.
 
Same with embodiment of self.
Once we start to embody ourselves,
we start to embrace all that we could be,
could have, ‘could do.
and we STOP accepting less for our lives.
 
This is only scary because we typically do not feel worthy of claiming this level of greatness into our lives.
 
The lack of worthiness causes us to doubt.
Tells us that we will loose.
tells us that things can not continue to be this great,
that there is a price that must be paid.
 
And so we move into stagnation.
We pause.
And we pause some more.
Until the pause causes us to embrace the pause,
and then we fear movement even more.
 
We look out at our world and we see evidence that standing in our truth will cause relationships to break,
will cause careers to fail or change, will cause discomfort in life. And we fear the pain.
 
What we forget it that all birth,
no matter what the birth is based on,
will come with pain.
The pain of discovery.
The pain of consciousness.
The pain of feeling who we are and how much we have been denying who we are.
Hiding from ourselves.
Hiding from our desires.
 
Change vs. Embrace
 
They are the same and yet not.
When we focus in on change, we lean into the belief that there is something about us that is not good enough and it needs to change.
 
When we focus in on embracing who we are, we often lean into the belief that we are too much and the world cannot handle us, therefore we will loose.
 
Either way, we are scared of loosing.
 
And at the end of the day,
you know what will happen when you keep denying your truth?
 
Do you?
Think about it.
 
If you look into dis-ease you will discover pretty quickly that all dis-ease is just that, a dis-ease in the body which stems from something (emotional/ psychological) that we are masking, hiding from and not wanting to give the time of day to.
 
Why are we hiding from these things?
Because they carry pain.
It may mask itself as anger, frustration, anxiety or depression, but they are all some pain that is stored up.
 
And one of the biggest pains we carry with us,
is the pain of not stepping into who we are meant to be,
who we want to be, or showing up in life the way we know we should.
 
The pain of potentially,
okay let’s be real here,
most likely,
 
Going to die without living out our mission.
Our purpose,
with our music still in us.
 
And the true sad thing is…
that by hiding from our truth,
ignoring out of fear of loss our beauty,
our power,
our music,
we end us killing ourselves.
 
Yet we will proclaim proudly,
that we are willing to sacrifice our lives in order to keep all that we fear loosing NEVER realizing that if we loose our lives that we will as well loose all that we are trying to not loose in the first place by denying our truth.
 
Silly yes.
But so f-cking true.
 
 
Just look at your life.
Look at your best friend.
Your sister.
Your uncle.
or anyone.
 
We are all guilty of this sin.
We all consistently say no to our truth out of fear,
and we all reap the rewards of the physical and emotional pain that it brings with it.
 
The key to stepping into who you are.
To EMBRACING Yourself and living unappologetically as the beautiful, powerful you that God intended,
is SIMPLE as F-ck!
 
Just Do it!
Grow a f-cking pair,
and put one foot in front of the other.
Take action, by leaning into the now.
Into what your heart says.
And say YES.
Say YES to yourself.
 
Because you are worth it.
You can have it.
And God wants you to be powerful,
bright and beautiful,
abundant and over flowing with blessings.
 
Claim your life.
As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
www.kendalwilliams.com
 
Join me November 18-21st for my 3 day intensive online workshop.
Ass In The Sand – Facebook Live Workshop for Entrepreneurs Who Want It All
If you are an entrepreneur and you want to know how to take your biz from zero to $100k quickly, for real – then this intensive class is for you.
Pre-registration coming out this next week.
Look for it or message me to get on the pre-launch list.

An Ode to the Gentleman.

You say you can hear my smile in my voice.

You say that you want an opportunity to court me.
You say so much…

It is not your words.
It is all in your actions.
In those looks you give me.
The way your lips turn slightly different with your smirk,
The way you take my hand,
the groans that you make when you are close.

You say so much,
in the way you stay present with me.
The way you always make sure to be the gentleman.
You lead me strong.
You lead me with love.

You say that you believe that people grow tired of each other,
and without saying,
you let me know you fear that I will grow tired of you.
You fear that I bore easily.
But your desire for me speaks,
in all the little things.
They do not go unnoticed.

You say that if we did it right,
then we would not grow tired,
because the thing that bores,
is that when two come together they do less than more.

You are right.
And so I lean into your lead.
I lean into all that you say.
With your words.
With your smirk.
With your groans.
With how you hold me.
With how you protect me.
With how you remain present,
and
dance in this beautiful energy.
This energy that we have danced in,
and we have paused from,
and find ourselves back in.

Yes you say so much.
So much I want to hold on too.

So much that causes my heart to quake.
So much that scares me,
because in your presence,
I feel beautiful.

In your arms I feel held.
In your embrace,
I feel loved.

And when you look at me,
with your everyday sultry eye’s,
and smile.
I feel like your queen.

Cherished.
Adored.
and
Desired.

You say so much,
in so many ways.
And it is these things that captivates my soul.
It is these things that ignites my heart.
It is these things that opens me,
Open’s me to your love.

To the man that you are.
The man that I had tried to ignore.
The man that is patiently waiting.
Waiting for me to return,
return that look,
return that smirk,
return that holding,
and surrender,
once more.

To all the gentlemen who remain strong masculine,
leading in love, in compassion, and desire.
To all of you gentlemen, who understand that courting is vital, and leading is your part of the dance.
Thank you.

You are loved and needed.

As Always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

Explore my Passion Coaching for Couple’s of Private Solo-Coaching. Two Private Coaching Spot’s open NOW. 

Bounce the F-ck Out of That.

Bounce the f-ck out of that negativity….

Bounce the f-ck away from those negative peep’s…

Bounce the f-ck out of that negative loop of assuming that someone is doing something to you…

Bounce the f-ck away from ANYTHING that does not feel good over the long haul in your life.

Now I know,
and I am reminded often,
that many feel that they cannot do this.

They have to stay put in the enviroment that they are in.
They have to.

Because, you see it is the responsible thing to do.

Are you this person who believes that you are captured in the the job,
the relationship,
the house,
the financial situation,
the sexless life,
or the just getting by and existing?

Is this your reality?
Are you lacking turn on for life?
YOUR LIFE?

I fully understand.
About a decade ago, I felt this way in all the above areas and more. I felt completely lost in my life.

I hated where I was living,
I had hardly any close relationships outside of my immediate family ( my husband and children).
I hated my body.
I hated my financial picture. ( If you can call it a picture, it was more like a nightmare)
I had no purpose,
no passion.
No orgasm in the bedroom or outside of it.

I was scared shitless every day that I woke up and I had no hope of getting out of the situation.
I sunk into the deepest depression of my life,
not wanting to wake to even care for my five children any longer.
I weeped constantly,
drank far to much,
blended codeine with booze just to escape my world.

Sleep seemed like the best option on most days,
but I never had the time for it.

I felt trapped with no way to escape and the well I was in just kept getting deeper.

Yeppers that was a decade ago.
Just a little over.
12 years to be exact.

People would tell me to be grateful.
People would tell me that in order to be responsible and a good parent,
a good person even,
that one had to compromise of themselves.
Do whatever it takes.

The man I think of like a father,
told me one day on my front porch in one of my deepest moments, “When you chose to have kids, you decided right then to stop doing what you want. You can’t have what you want when you have kids. You gotta be responsible and put them first.”

I wanted to puke when he said this.
I agree,
that family,
our children for sure come first.
You don’t go out and drink, party and do silly shit when you have kids.
You think about your responsibilities,
and you make them a priority.
You pay your f-cking bills,
you take care of your family.

But do you have to compromise all of yourself?
All of your life?
All of your desires?
All of your joy?

NO the F-CK you DO NOT!

But you know what you MUST do?
That is,
IF you proclaim that you want that F-ck YES Life.
IF you claim that you want to have it all.
And keep it real.
God.
Family.
Business.
Everything Else.

Well you must BOUNCE the f-ck away from those negative things.

And here is the gig,
most of those negative things are right between your two ears.

It’s the thoughts your thinking.
And it’s the peep’s your hanging with.
Look at the vibe that you are living in.

You can easily tell where you are vibing at by what is showing up in your world.

And you can tell how you are vibing,
by the way that you FEEL.

Yes,
I just said that.

THE WAY THAT YOU FEEL.

12 years ago,
I felt like shit.
I thought negative thoughts.
I got support of those thoughts from the people in my life.
I looked only at the negative in my life,
and it just kept multipling.

I did not do the mindset exercises daily that I do today.
I did not work my ass off internally to create the internal enviroment that would give me the external enviroment that I wanted.

And when I did apply myself there,
I did not believe it.

Because I had practiced too many negative thoughts and my beliefs came from them.

SO I had to DECIDE.
I had to really get serious with the most important person in my life.

And that was not my children.
It was not my husband.
It was not any family or friend.
It was not my bank account.
Or any one I owed money too.

It was not even God.

It was ME.

I had to have a pow-wow with ME.
And DECIDE what I wanted.
And what it would feel like to have that.
I had to start acting from a place of already having it.

I had to start with creating more of the thoughts I would have if I was already where I wanted to be, then what I was comfortable thinking in my current situation.

I had to put myself into situations that felt weird.
Uncomfortable.

I had to brainwash myself into believing something different.

And that meant…

I had to…

Bounce the f-ck out of that negativity….

Bounce the f-ck away from those negative peep’s…

Bounce the f-ck out of that negative loop of assuming that someone is doing something to you…

Bounce the f-ck away from ANYTHING that does not feel good over the long haul in your life.

SO what did I have to compromise to have the F-ck Yes Life of today?

EVERYTHING.

Everything that I was comfortable with.
Because it was not in alignment to what I claimed I wanted.

So,
there you have it folks.

You want it.
But are you willing to have it?

It’s always your choice.
You manifest your life.

What do you choose to think about?
Feel like?
Focus on?
or who are you hanging with?

These are the things that lead you to one door or another.

As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

Join me November 18-21st for my 3 day intensive online workshop.
Ass In The Sand – Facebook Live Workshop for Entrepreneurs Who Want It All
If you are an entrepreneur and you want to know how to take your biz from zero to $100k quickly, for real – then this intensive class is for you.
Pre-registration coming out this next week.
Look for it or message me to get on the pre-launch list.

Crazy F-cking Gratitude + One Wild Ride.

I am so f-cking grateful.

Are You ⁉️⁉️

I sure the f-ck am.
Today I was driving home from the furniture store where I was buying a new couch for my front room plus bedroom furniture for my munchkins jungle themed room that if I can swing will look like a mini Rainforest Cafe,

And as I was driving I found myself in total gratitude for so many things.

I also found myself laughing out loud,
alone in my car,
over how crazy my year has been.

I mean really f-cking crazy.

Anyone who has been following me know’s the tales of this year but if you are new to the story line,
LET ME CATCH YOU UP…..

Started the year tripling my income after coming out of 2017 with massive emotional stress of figuring out how best to support my aging mom with dementia and all that comes with that.

Then entered the month of love (February) with my heart getting crushed from a man I never thought could ever take me to the low’s that he did in saying good bye abruptly.

Turned around and got my heart and body crushed by my other main man ( as you may have figured out, I am a polyamorous sorta girl on some days or years, and these two gents were my two leading men).

Had a pushed move into a new home, which I manifested in less than three days.

Found myself in a new neighborhood.
New home.
72 hours after a shocking experience.

Then had to deal with a summer of custody issues,
legal battles.

And had to buy a new car.
Furnish a home.
Heal my body.
Stay afloat.
And keep on coaching my beloved clients.

In the process of all of this,
my three eldest children ( age 23, 21 and 19) who were living in Maui moved home and needed to stay with me.

My eldest daughter conceived her first baby while in Maui,
So through all of this,
walking my baby girl through pregnancy as well.

Friendships have been tested.
Intimate relationships have been tested,
some new ones have been birthed,
some old one’s have been reignited in different ways.

And at the end of this day,
I find myself sitting here at my new breakfast nook table,
with my house under construction,
furniture being delivered tomorrow,
my baby boys coming home to me tomorrow,
my house not upside down,
but merging with the energy that I want.

I find my romantic life,
not healed or longing for what was,
but ignited to what can be.
And excited about the souls that have entered my world.

I find myself looking at my family,
as it shrinks in one way,
and expands in another.
Some children move out,
some are here,
some come and go according to a schedule that just is right and best for them and the situation,
while a grand baby ( a baby boy 😊) grows in my daughters womb.

I look at my business,
in its ebbs and flows of this year,
that impress and scare me.
Not because of a low,
but because the low is far higher than my high of last year. 🔥🔥🔥

I look at my life.
I look at my life.
Awe..
Yes in awe.

And my eye’s tear up.
I still feel all of the pain,
all of the trauma.

There is still much to heal.
Much to let go of.

And I SMILE.
In gratitude.
I sit here.

Knowing how f-cking blessed I am.
In gratitude I sit here.
Because sometimes the path to something better,
is painful beyond measure.

Sometimes the path to what we truly desire,
Is birthed on a road of loss and turbulence.

Sometimes the things that will bring us fully into who we are meant to be,
only come about because we had to grow ourselves through the storm that we were lost in.

Sometimes,
Yes, sometimes….

(and so it is in life, that the sometimes is actually most of the time.)

But you know what makes it all better?
You know what can set one out from the crowd?
You know what keeps you in alignment to all that you want,
all that you desire,
all that you know is on the other side?

GRATITUDE.

#1 KEY SECRET to manifesting miracles.
Living a happy life.
Being turned on.
And having it all, even in the storm.

IS GRATITUDE.

I had gratitude the morning I looked in the bank and my account had $32k in it – OVER NIGHT.

I had the same gratitude when the man I was deeply in love with said his goodbyes.

I had the same gratitude when my partner physically assaulted me.

I had gratitude when I paid the attorney.
I had gratitude when an old lover said he wanted to see a smile on my face.
I had gratitude when a new lover shared his heart with me.
I had gratitude when a dear friend told me I am the reason he is alive.
I had gratitude when my friend screamed in her pain at me.
I had gratitude when my daughter told me I was going to be a grandma.
And I had gratitude as I crumbled under the stress.
As I looked in my kindergartner’s eye’s as he screamed how he hated me, when I told him he had to change schools.

And so many more moments over this year.

GRATITUDE.
I am f-cking grateful.

Are you?

I encourage you to take a moment RIGHT NOW,
write down 20 things that you are grateful for.

Read them 3x.
and then repeat this process every morning and every night for 30 days.

See what manifests in your life.
See how you feel about your life.

And as always,
Stop Existing & Start Living

Join me November 18-21st for my 3 day intensive online workshop.
Ass In The Sand – Facebook Live Workshop for Entrepreneurs Who Want It All
If you are an entrepreneur and you want to know how to take your biz from zero to $100k quickly, for real – then this intensive class is for you.
Pre-registration coming out this next week.
Look for it or message me to get on the pre-launch list.

Why Saying No to $60k May Keep You In Soul Alignment.

What would you give to make an extra $60,000 a year?
What would you sacrifice for this?
Would you be willing to step out of soul alignment for a good chunk of change?
 
Last week I was offered just this.
An extra $60k a year for really minimal time on my part.
It is an amazing opportunity to boot.
And I feel blessed to have it knock on my door.
 
But as I sit here over the week and feel into my heart.
Into my gut.
Into my core.
My soul…
 
I feel disgusted in truth.
I have been dancing around with this feeling all week,
telling myself this or that.
 
Telling myself that it was fear.
That maybe I had worthiness issues,
or even that I was being lazy.
 
However,
my gut feels nasty gross at the thought of saying yes to this opportunity.
I feel like my boundaries are being pushed on before they ever are.
I feel like I might have to fight for my boundaries and end up in a piss poor situation that could not only break open old wounds that I have done so much effing work around, but perhaps scar me even deeper.
 
I keep hearing certain statements made in my inquiry process that just do not sit well in my body and if I lean in to those feelings, I find myself being a f-ck no to the opportunity.
 
I feel edgy.
I feel nauseated.
I feel fear.
 
So what do I do?
Do I lean into a situation,
and opportunity,
because it appears to be so financially rewarding and even will help me in building my brand better potentially and gaining further exposure to potential clients and other opportunities?
 
OR…
 
Do I listen to my soul.
Listen to the reality that no matter how great it may appear from the outside, that my soul is not in alignment to it?
 
I tend to pause in moments like this.
I pause.
I do research.
And I sit with it a few days.
I understand the power of the ego,
and how it wants to raise havoc in our lives, preventing us from not stepping into all that we can be-do-have,
by getting us to embrace fear, shame, guilt, uncertainty or scarcity thinking.
Making us believe that something is something more or less than what our soul knows it to be.
 
The truth is simple.
Soul alignment is ALL that matters.
 
Whether,
you are looking at a relationship,
a job opportunity,
a new business,
a diet or workout,
or any life change or event,
right down to deciding on what you want for dinner.
 
Because even your dinner should be in soul alignment.
If you are willing to sacrifice and not be in alignment with the food you put into your body,
then where else are you willing to say yes or no when you mean the opposite.
 
When it just does not feel right,
but you feel shame, guilt, fear over stating your authentic answer?
 
Soul alignment at all cost is where it is at.
 
It can feel like the most challenging thing to do.
Which should,
when you think about it seem silly.
 
Silly because,
since when is saying yes to our soul,
yes to what we know to be right and good for us,
yes to alignment,
something that should be challenging?
 
It should not be challenging.
It should just be.
It should just be a no duh sorta thing.
 
RIGHT?
 
But it is not.
Reality is that ego has us all by the balls quiet frequently.
It has us jumping through hoops of fear and doubt,
acting from a place of scarcity and unworthiness,
instead of faith, love and abundance.
 
The things that feel good.
Even when they give us butterflies in our tummies.
 
The things that make our hearts smile.
And make our souls proud.
 
For me,
soul alignment is my only focus.
 
I won’t take on a new client even if I do not feel aligned to them.
 
And I certainly will not allow anyone into my personal life,
or my bed that I am not feeling aligned too.
 
If I step out of soul alignment,
which I do all too often on accident and because I am but only human at the end of the day,
I quickly look at where I stepped away from soul,
and do whatever it takes to get back into my flow.
 
If soul alignment is not your cup of tea,
you believe that it is just a pot a crap that all us new agey peep’s and supporters harp on because it is the hot topic,
bu that the real truth is that you just gotta compromise, shut up and bend over and take it, or that you have to spend all your time and energy doing what you don’t feel like doing because that is how life works and that is how success is achieved,
 
well then…
 
I am sorry.
 
Not really.
But I know that I cannot change your mind on this.
And that that very belief makes you out of alignment with my soul,
 
so why bother?
 
Back to the point of this share,
Soul Alignment.
 
You are either in it or you are not.
 
I can tell you that when I wake up to my munchkins jumping into bed with me,
snuggling up and saying, “Mommy, mommy I love you.”
And I feel good about who I am,
all that I do,
and all that I can provide.
I know that this feeling is what matters most.
Because as soon as I start to ignore my soul and the emotions and feelings that is guides me with,
I actually loose myself.
 
And in loosing myself,
I sacrifice my life.
In this sacrifice,
I also potentially sacrifice all that I can be-do-have,
and say no to the f-ck yes life that I desire.
 
So what are you willing to sacrifice for an opportunity,
a relationship,
or anything else that is not a f-ck yes to your soul?
 
Look at the true price of it.
 
It’s always your choice.
 
Praying you decide wisely and in favor of soul alignment.
 
As always,
Stop Existing & Start Living
 
Join me November 18-21st for my 3 day intensive online workshop.
Ass In The Sand – Facebook Live Workshop for Entrepreneurs Who Want It All
If you are an entrepreneur and you want to know how to take your biz from zero to $100k quickly, for real – then this intensive class is for you.
Pre-registration coming out this next week.
Look for it or message me to get on the pre-launch list.
 
Or explore my mentorship HERE