That melancholy feeling.

A state of nothing.
Yep that is where I am today.

One could view it as a peaceful place.
There is not a lot happening.
Except for all those crazy ass thoughts. 
Those fears and frustrations.
Oh yeah those things that prevented me from even having a good meditation today. 
Those things that for some reason I am insisting on carrying around today.

You know, 
when I first awoke at 7-am today none of this crap was with me. I woke up, felt great and then fell back asleep. 
That was the issue. 
I feel asleep. 
Perhaps this melancholy feeling is coming from some dream that I am not recalling. 
Perhaps it is because of the events of my morning. 
Maybe it is not even mine.

I have no clue. 
All I can share is that I am in a mood. 
I am in this mood of melancholy.
Where my brain will not shut up about how I will fail. 
How bad of a person I am. 
How I should do this or that. 
And will not allow me the space to just breathe. 
To just be and to have some freaking clarity. 
Or hope.

You know as I sit here this afternoon and write this message to you, I also realize that i am bored.

Yes bored and melancholy. 
Ooooh… it’s getting better is it not. 
Can you feel me love?

Can you feel the lull of my energy. 
Can you recognize it within yourself?

What is up with this new year?
I am seeing so many of my clients right now simply getting side tracked. 
Not wanting to do their work. 
Claiming they have no time. 
No energy. 
No direction. 
No drive.

And I get it!

I really do. 
I am feeling it too. 
But you know what?

It is still a choice.

Last week I joined a millionaire mastermind group. 
I took a stand for myself. 
For the life I want to have .
For my family. 
For my freedom.

I know that the only way that I can expand into the person that I want to be, to have the relationships that I want to have and to be free in all ways that I desire that I have to be willing to level up my life RIGHT NOW.

I have to be willing to say YES even though I am feeling bored and melancholy.

—————————————————————————

This was my intimate share Saturday that never made its way live to you.

I spent the day in this state. 
I did a a powerful workshop for a beautiful group of souls in this state of being.
I stayed raw, authentic and in my truth, 
about this state of being.

And you know what. 
It is still slightly lingering.

It is holding on to all that it can. 
It is begging for me to keep it alive today by focusing in on yesterday.

Well F-ck That!

Yet this is where we get to make a choice. 
Yes you and I, 
we can each choose what we want in our lives by deciding RIGHT NOW what we really want. 
And all we have to do is FOCUS on that that we desire. 
And focus with the intent and feeling that we already have it.

That state of melancholy is nothing more than our soul saying WAKE THE F-CK UP LOVE!!!

You have grown tired of the life you are living and the way that you are living it.

You are tired because it is no longer who you really are. 
Sure it may be comfortable to live this life, 
but is there passion in it?

Do you feel called?
Curious?
Challenged?

If you are anything like me,
and I am going to go out a limb and say you must be something like me if you are following me and reading this, 
then you need to feel challenged. 
You crave the playfulness. 
The possibilities. 
You want to feel your heart beat rise a tad as you lean in a bit further to your AUTHENTIC self.

You want to step in and you want to feel the breeze under your beautiful wings.

But something has changed over the year.
Sure 2018 was powerful. 
It had lots of turbulence, chaos and transformation. 
It most certainly got you clear on what you no longer vibe with and what you do not want to create in your life. 
It got you to see what you do want and has you focused on that. 
But something is different.
The lull is here. 
In your heart. 
In your mind.
In your actions.

And that is no good. 
You will get no where in the lull, RIGHT?

No the lull is perfect love.
It is space that is needed for you to clean your internal house up. For you to take a moment to breathe and get things sorted.

The lull is Gods precious gift to you to realign. 
And that is what you are doing.

You are being requested to PAUSE.
To know that 2018 was setting you free, 
and now all you need do is rest into the lull and have FAITH.

Let God carry you for this next segment of the trail as you get things settled and organized. As you take the rest of the trash out and step back from the PUSH.

You are safe.
You are loved. 
You are worthy.
And you can FLY.

Have FAITH baby that those wings you have been building all these years will open and carry you.

And they will.
The way through the melancholy is to LEAP into FAITH.

Here is the action.
You must do.

As always, 
Stop Existing & Start Living
” Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Love Hurts Some Days

Love Hurts Some Days.

“My chest hurts.
It is tight and full. 
It is harboring a pain that I do not want to feel. 
It is this haunting level of fear. 
I sit here staring into the fire, 
with a prayer in my mind, 
with uncertainty in my being.
And a sensation of knowing.

Not the sort of knowing that any of us want to have. 
No a knowing that something is wrong.
My gut is in knots.
My back is tense.
My chest feel like it is being stabbed.

The burning.
The burning of flames that I am lost in mediation will do nothing more than give visualization to the tremendous amount of heated pain that I feel. “

This was my journal entry just yesterday. 
The shocking reality that I was hit with through the last week of my life was just how deeply I cared for someone that I have been resisting.

And the beautiful opportunity that has been presented to me to heal my own heart and also another’s yet again in this saga I call my life.

Love f-cking hurts some days at a level that we cannot fathom. It grabs a hold of us sometimes in a flicker, makes us warm and full of butterflies. Then at other times is creeps its way in and lingers in the shadows of our doubts and fears only to make itself known when the feeling of true loss rises up. Then we are given the chance to confront our feelings, to step into the love and to vocalize.

Once vocalized we are then given yet another opportunity for growth and love to expand even more.

We are given the opportunity to stand in it.
Yes to stand in the love and NOT run from it.

This can be one of the scariest experiences. 
Because we have to come into the reality that we are feeling something. That we have a true fear of loosing this person in our lives and that it is okay to feel it.

The fact that this triggers us in such a fashion is evidence that it is doing healing work on past wounds around love, abandonment and unworthiness.

Everyone wants to be loved. 
Everyone wants to be cherished.
Everyone wants to be felt, seen, heard. 
And everyone desires for someone to just simply give a shit enough about them to miss them.

I don’t do a lot of missing people personally. 
I live pretty unattached, letting everyone I care for and love live as they need and without me impressing my needs upon them too much. I aim to be strong enough in myself to not necessarily need anyone to fill me, but instead to add to the fullness I already have.

I love deeply. 
And as a I was just sharing with a lover the other day, those who love me deeply back and I share a level of full being intimacy with and unconditional love with will NEVER leave my heart. I will forever be in love with them no matter how the relationship evolves.

This is where the unconditional aspect comes into play.
It is based from not needing anyone, but instead accepting the gift of their love and giving the gift of our love back.

Because that is what love is : A GIFT.

And it cannot be forced. 
It cannot be made to happen according to how we perceive it needs too.
It is just a gift that is given over time and within a second.
It is just a gift that can only be felt when we are truly present with our own hearts enough to experience the offering of another’s.

Yet we lock ourselves up in these neat and tidy little boxes. 
We hide from our hearts out of the fear of getting stung by love. 
We fear that what we want to gift will not be reciprocated or appreciated and even worse that we are not worthy of being gifted it back.

This is nothing more than triggers of past hurts keeping our emotional armor up and preventing us from opening to the gift.

Love it offers us pain and pleasure. 
It teaches us about our depths, 
it teaches us about our darkness, 
and it shows us our light.

I have been sitting with multiple things the last few days based on a love scenario.

As I sat without knowing if my love was safe, was well or where they were in this world I found myself first and foremost deeply concerned for their well being. I questioned myself about any feelings of past abandonment creeping in and I was a hard core no to that as I trust this persons integrity pretty firmly. When I leaned into my heart and into my core ( my genitals as I reefer to them as my GPS a.k.a intuition) I felt that this was not a goodbye or a run away but something dealing around well-being. So I focused on that concern. Feeling helpless, I chose to investigate as much as I could and to try to get the answers I needed to set my mind and heart at peace.

God would soon come to my rescue as usual.
Gifting me with a confirmation of life.

Once solved I found myself now dealing with an old belief and wound around worthiness of love, around abandonment and around my expectations on my relationship.

Stepping back away from the ego based thoughts and just witnessing them do their dance of chaos. Today has been breathtaking and filled with personal growth to say the least.

Because that is all that is happening. 
My thoughts have decided to join a circus and put on a show for me, begging me to take part in the main ring.

Yet, if I do what I know is right and just lean back into my heart, my core ( my genitals as I reefer to them as my GPS a.k.a intuition) I regain my truth. And the truth is that I love this person and I do not need them to love me back. I do not need them to show up in any special fashion. I do not need them to do anything other than be who they are. The person that I fell in love with a few years ago. And what my GPS system is confident of is that no matter where the relationship evolves to, sharing my love and basking in theirs has been a GIFT.

So yes, love hurts on some days. 
It can give us the greatest of pleasure and the worst of pain. 
It reveals to us all side of our personality and ego.
But if we allow it to truly penetrate us. 
To truly conquer us what we are gifted is far greater than what anything else will ever provide.

What we are gifted is an expansion in self. 
A revealing of our truth to our core. 
To our soul level. 
And we are gifted a union with the divine.

Here in the space of true unconditional love we meet ourselves and learn that through the presence of love we have everything that we will ever need and we never need look any further than our own back yard.

For all that we crave resides right here within. 
It is in our acceptance of self that we embrace this world and love deeply those whom we share it with.

I love you.

As always, 
Stop Existing & Start Living

-KW

Change Your Focus.

The leap of faith.
The leap of inspired action.
The leap of true love.
The leap.

That is what we crave.
That is what we want.
That is what we fear.

When we leap, we also risk.
And there is this feeling that we could die.
This feeling of jumping out of a plane, 
into the unknown, 
and we question if our shoot will open, 
or worse yet if we remembered to put our shoot on even.

So we focus on all that could go wrong.
We focus on all that is not happening.
We look at the evidence, 
and we get caught up in the strings of what is not even reality.

Talk a big game.
Speak of soul alignment.
Say that we have prayed about it.
Share our faith about our success with everyone we can.

But internally, we are anxious.
Nervous.
Fearful.
And full of doubt.

We can taste the joy of our success.
We can feel the excitement of FINALLY having what we want to manifest so bad, 
but that damn little voice in our head, 
that voice that wants to sabotage us.

SHUT UP!

Alright, alright, I hear you.
I get it.
I am stupid.
I am ugly.
I am not worthy.
I an pathetic.
I am a bad person.
I don’t know what to do.

And we weep.
We shake in fear of all the crap that we feed ourselves. 
The words. 
The statements.
The imagery.

We are sure to fail.

But NO.
We must try.
We owe it to ourselves.
To our loved ones.
We want so badly to prove that we are worthy.

And so we listen to a guru.
We sign up for a program.
We get serious!
We put our head down, 
and we get to work.

WORK.
WORK.
WORK.

Yes we must write down our goals.
We must focus on our weak muscles and build them stronger by knowing our weakness.
And overcoming it.
We must get up earlier.
Stay up later.
Do everything that feels forced, scary, and hard.
We must MAKE IT HAPPEN!!!!

And so we struggle a bit longer. 
And we prove to ourselves how undeserving and stupid we are. 
How success is not meant for us. 
We look out into the world and we see everyone doing so great, 
but we fully understand that we don’t have the skills to make it happen.

So we lower our heads.
We take our loss.
And we put the ball down on what we are so called too.
We turn away from our dreams. 
And we make excuses.
Logical excuses.

Yes here is where so many people are RIGHT NOW.
As I sit here a third of the way through the first month of the new year, I see so many of you beautiful people struggling.

Companies are laying off.
Pink slips are hitting so many people without any fair warning.
The government is under challenges.
Causing issues with our taxes, 
causing issues with our mail, 
with so many things.

We have come through the joy and stress of the holidays
we have hopes and goals for the new year, 
and we are loosing focus already.

I hear so many speaking about what they cannot have.
Settling already for another year of the SAME.

But there is no FAITH in this.
There is no GROWTH in this.
There is no JOY/HAPPINESS in this.
And there is for sure no SOUL in this.

No your soul my love, 
has all the certainty that you need to make your dreams come true. 
All you need do is get in alignment to it and STOP focusing on what is not happening.

Don’t turn away from your dreams.
Don’t get discouraged about what you want that is not happening.

No instead, 
FOCUS on what you do have.
Focus on the joy, love, good stuff that IS in your world.
Even if it is just a small little moment. 
Lean into it love.
Here is the doorway to your greatness.

Calm your mind each day.
Make space for SOUL to speak to you.
Make time for yourself to connect to God.
LISTEN.

Soul alignment ONLY comes from creating a space of stillness and listening.

Here is where you GAIN EVERYTHING.

And when you hear the call
you feel the turn on.

Then you can LEAP with Inspired Guidance and take Inspired Action.

Here is where you will discover that as you take your focus off of all that you think you should be doing, 
and you simply create space for it to happen, 
that is will just manifest with ease and speed.

Silence.
Openness.
A focus on feeling good.
Change your focus. 
Change your life.

As always, 
Stop existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Take action by claiming your life TODAY.
Speak to me about 1:1 mentorships and coaching Now.
Or sign up for one of my programs to make 2019 YOUR year of abundance.

God is living vicariously through YOU.

God is living vicariously through YOU!

Yes you read that right.
God is living out what God cannot do on his own. 
He needs YOU to do it for him.

Crazy huh?
But look at this thing called life.
It is all about experience. 
It is all about learning. 
Evolving.
Expanding.

Life is a beautiful gift.
And it is a gift that has been given for us to enjoy to the fullest. 
On top of it we have all the power. 
It is called FREE WILL.

What an amazing gift.

And you know what else?

It was given so that we can experience and expand to our greatest levels just like God does.

God is everywhere.
God is within everything.
The conscious creator of all. 

But the ONE thing God cannot do, 
is LIVE as a human. 

Which means God cannot experience like a human.
And God wants glory.
God wants love.
God wants respect.
God wants joy.
God wants our rapture.

Just like a lover, 
God want to bask in our beauty.

And therefore God wants to feel our full expression in everything that we do. 

You want to give God glory?
You want to show your worth?
You want to show God how deeply you love him?
You want to show your FAITH?

Well the best way to accomplish any and all of these, 
is to fully turn yourself over to the mystery.

Let GO and LET God.

This is where FAITH is shown.
Live unbound and to your fullest, 
this is where you show God’s glory.
Live in complete unconditional love, 
for self, for life, for everyone, 
Live authentically, 
this is where respect and love come from.
It is called integrity my sweet.
Live prosperous, 
Be wealthy.
Be sexual.
Be orgasmic.
Fall in love.
Laugh.
Play.
Allow abundance and blessing to wash all over you.

Because God is counting on you.
God wants to FEEL all of these mysteries.
But he needs YOU to open up and let HIS GREATNESS move through you. 

You are not doing anyone any favors by playing small.
Seriously, how is always accepting less,
always saying no to your heart and soul, 
always turning away from yourself,
serving YOU OR GOD?

It’s not.
Let imagine if Jesus turned away from himself. 
Turned away from God.

Lets imagine if Jesus coward in the face of his own greatness, 
which he KNEW was all God’s.

Lets imagine Jesus being small.

LOL…
That’s just silliness, 
right?

He took on the weight of everything.
And he did it in JOY.
He did it by revealing unconditional love.
He walked in FAITH.
And he let his fathers GLORY be witnessed by all. 
He did this by letting his light SHINE.
He did it by letting God work through him.

Because even the son of God, 
had to open himself to the mysteries of God. 

Had to open himself to the POWER of God. 
And what was the message he left us with my love?

“I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” – John 14:6

The message is clear no matter your faith.

If nothing else, Jesus was a man of leadership and deep understanding of the ways of God.

He was on the mission to reveal the truth.
And he stood in the power that he had been given.
He let his light shine.
And he has made it into our history and spiritual beliefs for over 2000 years because of his teachings.

So why not LISTEN?

Why not stand in your own RIGHT.
In your own POWER.
And Let God move through you. 
Let his glory be seen, 
by living your life UNBOUND.

No FEAR.
No DOUBT.
Only CERTAINTY.

Because God is counting on YOU my love. 
God wants to experience this thing called LIFE, 
but he does not want to just get through it….

Hell NO!
He want’s to THRIVE in ABUNDANCE.
He wants the JOY, 
The PROSPERITY,
The LOVE, 
The ORGASM.

So stop effing around already. 
Stop living in shame and misery.

You have all that you need on your side love. 

Just LET GO.
Leap.

Leap into the arms of the greatest lover of all. 
Leap and let God catch you. 

He wants to feel your rapture.

As always, 
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers”

Stop fooling around and take the leap that you know that you need.

Stop with all your excuses. 
There are 51 weeks left in 2019, 
how many more will you let pass with the acceptance of lat years attitudes for this years life?

Let’s get you kick started with Boss Life-500
Take advantage of this signature VIP 1:1 Coaching opportunity NOW!

I only have a couple spot’s still open.
And it is YOURS.

Who Will You Be In 2019?

Who will you be in 2019?

Here is the question that my mentor asked me recently.

At first when I heard it I wanted to jump to the answer. 
I wanted to confidently state all my dreams and goals as though they were already. 
But as I sat with this question, 
truly sat with it and allowed it to settle into every cell of my being I could feel great emotion bubbling up with it.

I could feel myself not simply wanting to state with confidence my dreams and goals, 
No, I wanted far more than this.

I wanted to truly feel myself expand. 
And I was already being gifted this beautiful idea of expansion in being asked,

Who will you be in 2019?

And here is what I came up with.

I will be a woman on fire, 
on fire for her life. 
I will be a mother, 
present, in love and compassion, 
showing my children how to live fully, 
and how to fly.
I will be a lover, 
learning what I truly want for this next season of my intimacy. Committing to my true heart and core.
I will be a thought leader, 
helping those who feel aligned to me to expand who they are and tap into the f-ck yes life they deserve.
I will be the soul crusader that I have always known that I am. 
Never allowing for settling, 
willing to rock the boat, 
to stand in the face of that which is uncomfortable and THRIVE.
I will be a content creation magician, 
open to my aligned intuitive desires and letting them unfold in ease.
I will be SOUL ALIGNED, 
I will be ONLY a F-ck YES to myself, 
at all cost.
I will live from a place of ease, grace, gratitude and joy.
I will be vulnerable, open and turned on.
I will be SOULFUL.
I will be magnetic.
I will be AUTHENTIC.
I will be deliberate.


I will be a mother f-cking bad a*s!!!!!
I will be a Rock Star in my business and in my life!

The truth is love, 
my goal is to make 2019 a year that I am so effing proud of that I cannot help but brag about.

And what is wrong with that?

I know that some people cringe at the words, 
brag and proud or pride.

I know that it may sound cocky to say that this is my desire, to be a F-ck YES! only to myself.

I know that to some, 
who I aim to be for 2019 is not desirable, 
and the thing is that I don’t really effing care.

And neither should you love. 
because who you are. 
Who you want to be. 
Who your soul is screaming at you to get into alignment to becoming, 
is most likely not going to please the majority of people.

And the sooner that you get right with this fact. 
The sooner you realize that when you firmly, 
confidently and unapologetically step into your true self, 
that the majority of the world will not approve.

And the reason,
although it does not ultimately matter,
I will share with you for clarity and understanding.

The reason so many will hate on you.
The reason so many will mock and point, 
will show their cruelness and even shun you. 
Is because your light will be so F-CKING BRIGHT that it will reveal to them all that they are hiding from and do not have the courage to become.

Yes my love, 
the more you SHINE
the more the haters will make themselves known.
The more the darkness will try and take you down.

The average and ordinary, 
never like the ones who CHOOSE to LIVE UNBOUND.
The ones who choose to be free, 
to be turned on, 
prosperous, 
and in SOUL ALIGNMENT.

SO know this my love, 
know that as you answer this question for yourself, 
that the only right answer, 
is the one that makes you squirm, 
makes your feel as though you are hanging on the edge of cliff and taking in all the beauty. 
It is the one that makes you shudder, 
not from fear but from the thrill, 
the thrill that you are FINALLY being a F-ck YES! to yourself.

Ignore all those naysayers.
Ignore all their threats. 
Ignore all that they may throw at you, 
and walk forward into this year. 
This year of your GREATNESS. 
This year where you make yourself proud.

Let your LIGHT be seen brightly.
Let your SMILE beam in joy.
Let your LAUGHTER shake fear into their walls of misery, 
as you BRAG in GRATITUDE
of this F-ck YES! Year.

As Always, 
Stop Existing & Start Living
“Coaching for Grown A*s Believers!”

Stop fooling around and take the leap that you know that you need.

Stop with all your excuses. 
There are 51 weeks left in 2019, 
how many more will you let pass with the acceptance of lat years attitudes for this years life?

Let’s get you kick started with Boss Life-500
Take advantage of this signature VIP 1:1 Coaching opportunity NOW!

I only have a couple spot’s still open.

And This One is Yours.

Open to Me.

When I think of you I smile.

You know it is true.

You know who you are.

And why it is so.


When I think of you I feel all warm and happy.

You can hear my joy in my voice.

You can feel me in our conversation.

You know who you are.

And why it is so.


When I stand in your presence,

my heart soars with love.

I know that you feel me.

I know that you want more.

And you know who you are.

And why it is so.


When I find myself in your arms,

head against your chest listening,

each beat of your heart makes me wish to go deeper.

The feeling of safety, the feeling of depth,

I value my surrender to you,

and I want more.


I know that you can feel me.

I sense it in everything you do and say.

I know that you crave me.

Your goal to penetrate.

mind.

heart.

soul.

My whole being.


When you touch me,

my flesh ignites with passion and joy.

My body wants to open,

I know you can feel me.

I know you want more.

And with those words,

delicate yet firm.


“Open for me.”


Is all I ever need to hear.

It is your confidence.

It is your desire.

It is in your expression.


I can feel you my love.

I do no doubt this journey.

I do not doubt this feeling.

I am reveling in all that we have.


This moment is all I desire.


I can see how you look at me.

I can see the wanting in your eye.

The words that you share,

that you think,

but hope I do not hear,

yes those words my love.

I have absorbed them.

As they are your’s ,

and revel in them too.


Oh my sweet love,

this moment can last us forever.

A thousand lifetimes if we allow it to be so.


This moment is all we have.

And I want to spend it with you.


But how can we move forward?

How can we say I do?

When fear still exists between us.

When we are lost in our hopes,

insisting on something new.


Your words keep me focused.

Your words are the key.

Yes my love,

the wisdom is right here before us.

It speaks to us when we unite.


“Open to me.”


Is all we must allow.

It is the answer to our love.

The answer to this moment.

And to the next one as well.


“Open to me.”


and let me receive you…


Here my love is where we will dance.

Here is where our home is.

No further than the space between our bodies,

our energy meets.

Our hearts are entangled.

It has been so for awhile.


Longer than we may admit.

Our hearts have a desire.

Our bodies yearn for more.

Our souls are guiding,

and so our minds have been made up.


But will our voices ever say the words?

Will we be heard by one another?

Or will be dance in this moment,

wanting for more,

but fearing we may never.


“Open to me.”

and let me receive you.


Receive you fully.

Drown me in your love.

As it is all I want to drink.


And revel in it I will.

This moment.

This lifetime.


The silence is deafening.


——————————————————————————
For all those lovers who have drank from the pools of their hearts,

who have longed to be felt as they feel their lovers.


Who have lost,

who have been absorbed,

who have danced and are still dancing.


The beauty of this thing called love.

Its desire to be present in our lives,

making itself known,

fleeting at times,

it is all that we humans crave.


The unconditional.

The passionate.

The intriguing.

The deep.

The vulnerable.

The romantic.


All of the love.

We want it.

And we fear the loss of it.


The answer to having is so simple.

The answer is here in these words.


“Open to me.”


Yes open.

Open to the love.

To your lover.

and to yourself.


Surrender without reason.

And revel in the moment.


For love,

no matter how long it may last,

is always worth the moment.


Blessings to you my sweet,

may you enjoy a lifetime of love.


And as always,

Stop Existing & Start Living


ONLY a few days left till Boss Life- 500 Closes.

I have two spot’s still open for this f-cking amazing opportunity to work 1: 1 with me and get your 2019 kick started into greatness.


But maybe you don’t care.

And that is okay too.


I am just telling you that this is an AMAZING AS F-CK opportunity to get the private signature coaching that you might want and most certainly will need if you want to level up your life for 2019.


So yes,

I am telling you to stop what you are doing right now, go to this link right HERE
and register before it is too late.

Stop giving excuses.

Stop saying you can’t do it for whatever reason.

Just stop with all the crazy nonsense that your fear has you blabbing and

SAY F-CK YES! to yourself baby.


CLAIM YOUR LIFE in 2019!

Claim your life right now.


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Stop The Hide and Seek With Your Dreams

We create our own misery. 
We manifest our nightmares.
We are truly our own worst enemy.

Look back at the things that have come into your life. 
Really look at the sh*t that has happened. 
Can you see how you called it into existence?

If you are average and ordinary then you will answer this with a big fat NO!

If you are part of the 1% of the population that is awakened, conscious and willing to be responsible for their lives, then you will say YES.

Either way you answer, the truth is still the same. 
We create our own misery.

So why am I speaking about this today?
You see over the last few days of this New Year, 
I have come into contact with a massive awareness circling around me about this.

It stems from our lack of worth. 
It stems from our hidden expectations. 
It stems from our fears.

And let me tell you, 
these three things can sabotage your whole life and all that you desire and that God wants to bestow on you.

Don’t you get it love?
Don’t you see how you are creating all of this sh*t because you are insisting on keeping your focus on what you do not have.

You are sitting there, actively looking for the evidence of something to appear, 
and in doing this what you are ACTUALLY doing is focusing on the VOID of not having it yet.

So no duh, that it is not manifesting for you.
How can it after all when all you do is look at how it is not there.

I know, 
I know, 
you want to argue this. 
I sure as f-ck try arguing it as well, 
all the time.

But love,
the facts are just that FACTS.
And what you are doing is NOT looking at the positive, 
no you are looking at the not having because you are looking at where you want it to manifest, 
how you want it to manifest, 
in the time that you want it to manifest, 
and you are looking dead center into the void of it NOT manifesting yet.

You are waiting for it to happen. 
Right?

You sent out your intentions.
You have been doing the internal work. 
You have journaled, meditated, prayed, talking it up, stayed positive, witnessed your ego yelping at you and backed away from anyone who tried to steal your thunder.

But what you have NOT yet done it just CLAIM IT.

Yes JUST CLAIM IT BABY.

You f-cking deserve to have it, 
and it is already manifested. 
The problem is that you have decided to step into some hide and seek manifesting game with it.

You have decided to WAIT for it to come instead of just living as though it already is.

So this AMAZINGNESS that is there for you has no effing choice but to wait for you to come find it.

It cannot come to you, 
it can not manifest yet, 
because you are not ready.

You are not even getting ready to be ready for it. 
And that sucks.

Because everything you want is having to wait to be received.

And all you have to do love is STOP looking for it.

Stop examining how it is not yet there, 
how it will happen when you do this or this or that, 
stop looking down the mother f-cking road.

And JUST ACCEPT that it already is, 
and guess what?

It IS.

This means that you have to STOP talking about it as though you are waiting for it as well, 
you have to stop yourself from feeling as though you do not have it yet, 
and instead focus on feeling effing amazing RIGHT NOW.

All this good sh*t will manifest AS SOON AS YOU TAKE YOUR EYE and CONSCIOUSNESS OFF OF IT.

Just like a pot being watched.
And you know what the saying is there right?

” A watched pot never boils.”

Well it will boil, 
but it will be SOMEDAY, 
and it don’t have to be that way baby.

It can boil right now.

You gotta just let it.

As Always, 
Stop Existing & Start Living

WATCH Today’s Conscious Coffee – Men, Wine and Christ to hear all about my even deeper take on playing Hide and Seek with Your Dreams.

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And that is okay too.

I am just telling you that this is an AMAZING AS F-CK opportunity to get the private signature coaching that you might want and most certainly will need if you want to level up your life for 2019.

So yes, 
I am telling you to stop what you are doing right now, 
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Stop giving excuses. 
Stop saying you can’t do it for whatever reason. 
Just stop with all the crazy nonsense that your fear has you blabbing and SAY F-CK YES! to yourself baby.

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Claim your life right now.

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Damn You 2018! But Thank You.

🍾🥳🎉🎉Happy New Years Eve Everyone!🎉🎉🥳💞

As we go through the last day of 2018 and we enter 2019, I wanted to share some thoughts with you about the bullsh*t that might be holding you back.
And I say all of this in love. And I say it all with the intimacy share that it is true for myself as well.
Stepping into a new year is always a time of contemplation for myself. Perhaps you feel the same, perhaps not.
But I find myself sitting here this morning, drinking my coffee, enjoying the crispness of the morning and playing with our families new little puppy while I ponder all that has taken place in this year of 2018.
Recently I shared that I was in gratitude and happy with where my life is RIGHT NOW. That I was happy with 2018 and all that it has brought with it. And this is true, however I still find myself looking at the year and saying from my depth, “Damn You 2018!”
I am witnessing this same energy and statement from many people that I know, work with and follow. 2018 has been a testing year.
It has tested us in all ways. Physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
And financially for many.
For myself I look at this last year and I can honestly say that I did not see many of the things that occurred coming. I started last January pumped up and excited, anticipating the closure of a separation with a man that I loved deeply, but I “thought” that he would turn toward me, instead he chose differently and with that came new sight into his heart and our relationship. It was a breathtaking and eye opening experience. Turned around and found myself with my other main man flipping out and revealing where he was as well, which lead to physical trauma and financial stress. Watched as my 82 year old mother with dementia went deeper down the rabbit hole of this disease and made choices that were irreversible making it where I no longer to care and support her the way that I once had, to the point where she even ran away from the home that she was living.
Brought on with all of these challenges of 2018 I found myself needing to find a new home ( and did so within 3 days) , get a new car ( and I did so within a week), get healing for my physical body ( which I did with the love and support of my fellow practitioners and friends), get legal help ( which I did with the guidance of God) and wade through the upsets and the trails that would seem to never end.
Yes 2019 with your over $75,000 of additional costs that I did not expect.
You have taught me so much. This single mama still remains strong, happy and in love with her life. In gratitude for all that 2018 has brought, even though it has been some rough lessons.
How can I even have gratitude some ask?It is simple: My life is blessed.I am in love with where I am. I am in love with the truth that has been revealed. And I am in love with myself.
2018 has shown me who I am, my strength, my courage, my fears, my weaknesses, and it has provided me with sight into my soul.


For all the sh*t that has happened in 2018, my list of gratitude’s are far greater.


*More than DOUBLED my income in 2018! BAM!!!💲💲

*Found out I am going to be a grandmother. 🙂 Holy crap its happening!!!!👶*All seven of my kids live close to me or with me.

* Have close relationships with all of my children and good friendships. ( what more can a mama ask for)

*Everyone is healthy.

*Bought my first car without anyone else attached to it. (always have had someone with me i.e. a husband or man)

*Moved into a house that I f-cking LOVE in a neighborhood that is amazing. * My kids are all in GREAT schools and doing good.

* Paid off a third of my over all debt.

*Only spend maybe 8-10 hours a week feeling like I am “working”

*Truly have my time as my time – I AM MY BOSS!

*Love my TRIBE!!!! – You are beautiful. *In love with where my business is going and who it is unveiling me to be.

*My home is always blessed with love and people who I care deeply about.

* Amazing men in my life that know how to hold space for me.

* Deep love.🥰💞💞 I truly feel deep love coming to me and being shared by me, which means I LOVE MYSELF DEEPLY.

*Alignment Awareness. This is a BIG one. I am far more conscious of when I am in alignment and when I am not and I am catching my hold backs quicker than in years past.

*A new focus on LISTENING to my intuition.👂👀 Another BIG one for me. Some days I feel psychic, and whether I am or not is beside the point, it is that I am seeing how accurate my gut is and how powerful I am if I ONLY CHOOSE to LISTEN.

*PEACE.🙏 I have spent the last decade becoming a more peaceful person, I use to be so angry and scared. But something in 2018’s lessons has truly lined me up with PEACE. It is hard to throw me these days, and even if I get a little flustered or tense, there is a current of peace right under it reminding me who I really am. Grateful I can feel that.

*THIS IS WHO THE F-CK I AM! 💃💃💃- Yes even for someone like me who prides myself for being raw and authentic, I still have masks. And I am done dancing at this masquerade ball. It’s been fun, but its time to stop fooling around and just STEP IN TO WHO I AM. This is all about the gratitude for KNOWING self and having the desire and the courage to say F-ck it! I am me. Claim my life once and for all.


Okay there is so much that I could go on and on here with my gratitude’s,
but my message to you beautiful is simple,


Look at my list.


Do you see the things that you are grateful for as well in your life?


Do you recognize the things that you need to step into and embrace?


Does any of it make you stir?Make you want for more?


2018 was here in my opinion to wake us the f-ck up!

To clear out the things that do not serve us.

To provide us with the space to call in our dream life.

We all have been too cramped in our style you could say, no room for what we want.

So 2018, bless you 2018.

You have shown us who we are.

You have helped us clean up our homes.

You have revealed truth.And you have taken out the trash that we were not strong enough to admit needed to be taken out.


So thank you 2018.


And HELLO 2019!!!!! 😍💃💃💃🥂🍾💲Let’s Rock this year with love, abundance, certainly and joy.


Let’s make 2019 about receiving all that wants to come to us. Wants to bless our lives. Open beautiful.

Open to 2019 like it is the lover you have always dreamed of and let it penetrate you with all it has to offer.


You are worth the creative loving forces of God’s blessings.
Just OPEN.

And RECEIVE.


Share in the comments what you want to manifest in 2019.


As Always, Stop Existing & Start Living


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It’s All About The Void That Manifests.

OMFG! Check out this picture from 1998…

And here is the reality.

Mine and yours from it.


It’s all a bunch of effing bullsh*t!

Somewhere a long the line you started buying into it too.

And now you find yourself trapped,

you find yourself full of it.

You find yourself blabbing it and spouting it out in ease.


It’s because you actually think that it is your effing reality.

And you know what?


You are right.

You are correct because you want it to be so.


Somewhere in your psyche you are happy about your suffering.

You feel justified even.

It is the way it is suppose to be.

And you think this and feel like this because you look around and you see so many other “not so lucky folks” living the same way as you.


Its called NORMAL.

Its called AVERAGE.

Its called ORDINARY.


But even though all you crave is to fit the f-ck in and have community, be loved and supported, have that tribe that everyone talks about, you sure as hell do not find much if any joy in what is showing up in your life.


Do you?

You look out there into what is manifesting and you scratch your head. 🤔

The evidence just keeps piling up, showing you what you are attracting.

Where you are at.

And you feel like crap about it.


You always seem to attract the same kind of men or women into your life.


You always seem to be behind the eight ball of work, you never have enough time or energy. 💲💲🕚


Money comes in, but it has a thousand places it needs to go and there seems to never be quiet enough.


Stress.

ARGH.


And the chaos that the stress causes in your head.

All those voices.

They run around your mind on microphones 📣📣📣 bantering and yelling at you about how full of sh*t you are,

how pathetic you are,

how you might as well just pack it in and call it quits.


It f-cking sucks,

DON’T IT?


And you want to know what is even more horrifying then all this average and ordinary that you got goin’ on?


The FACT that it does not have to be so.


Yeppers,

You have the power to change it all.


You always have had this power.

But you choose each moment to fill your voids,

to fill your silence with all the rubbish that does you no good.


You create chaos where there could be peace.

You create fear and lean into it where there could be gratitude and joy.


You get to a point where you start to see a clearing and you freak the eff out and panic at the void.


You think that if there is a void that you are loosing something.


You think that if there is silence that a boogie monster is sure to pop out and attack.


You are scared as f-ck of your inner game.

You are scared of the stillness.

Because you believe that it is empty.


But I promise you this sweet one,

I promise you that the void,

the stillness,

that you fear is not empty.

It is full.


Full of opportunity.

It is nothing more than a space for you to expand into.

It is that next level of your awakening.

It is that next level of you receiving more.

It is that next level of your growth.
But you can only achieve it and embrace all the blessings that want to wash down on you IF YOU open up to it.


If you learn to love the space.

Learn to respect the stillness.

And NOT act so damn quickly to fill it with clutter that is not needed.
Instead feel into this space.

Truly embrace it.
In this space is where you will gain inspired guidance.

You will gain clarity.
And then when the time comes, and you will know it.
Because you will feel its pressure upon you.

It begging for you to open and receive. You will feel the pain of overwhelm. The pain of not saying YES to self.


When this time comes,

and with it your ego will spout,

and cry and cast doubt,

you will have to prove your heart,

and your truth.

You will have to turn away from all that you fear,

and step forward as though all that you desire and want already is.


Only by acting from the you that you want to be,

will you ever become that version of self.
As long as you keep holding on to the you of now or yesterday,

you will never gain the riches, the love, the connection, the blessings that you deserve and desire.


The truth is my love, that you have to want it for yourself.
You have to want to expand.


You have to fall in love with the void.

You have to push yourself when times feel rocky, unstable and you have a million great reasons as to why you cannot.
This my dear is the EXACT space where you will gain everything or loose it all.


Choose Wisely.

Choose from Soul.

Breathe Past Your Fear.

As Always, Stop Existing & Start Living


Stop making excuses! It really is all bullsh*t.

Let me help you achieve the dreams and goals of your heart in 2019.
This is a no excuses opportunity.It will not be offered again at this price.
The things you have been doing have not been working, and they will not be working in 2019 magically either.


If you want to have abundance, more money, a kick as business, more time, better relationships and intimacy, or anything else, than pay attention right now!


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No consult needed. No excuses.
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Some Random Bloke

I just now said yes to a wine date with a man that I have never met.

Some random bloke.

And the funny thing about my YES to this man, 
has nothing to do with his looks. 
Nothing to do with what he has said to me in a phone conversation or in a chat. 
Has nothing to do with his career choice.

My YES to him is all about me.

To make matters even more interesting, 
I am not meeting with him because I need to be wined and dined. 
I am not meeting with him because I desire to have another man in my bed.
I am not meeting with him because I am lonely.
I am not meeting with him because I am hopeful or desiring anything from him.

HUH?

Yeah. So WHY?
Why say YES to this random bloke, you may ask?

Before I answer this let me share a few things.
And part of my reason is within the tale.

A few years back, about 5 to be exact, I was on Facebook and a man with a logo for his profile reached out to me. 
He simply said hi, started up a conversation that was very simple and then asked if I would like to go to sushi sometime.

It would be his luck that I love sushi. 
He shared that he was going to be in town for a few weeks and was visiting a friend. He asked if I would meet him at what he had no clue was one of my favorite sushi houses. 
Without hesitation I found myself saying YES.

I had no reason to say yes to this man, much like today’s invite.

However I still said yes. 
I was not looking for a new connection of any sort. 
I had plenty of love, sex, orgasm and men in my life. 
Men I had deep intimacy with and connection. (much like today’s invite)
I was not needing courting and I was far from lonely. 
(much like today’s invite)

But I said yes none the less. 
I did not have a clue what this man looked like, 
what his back ground was, 
what his intention was, 
or anything else for the matter.

Here I was one sunny spring day sitting in front of my favorite sushi house. I got there and it was closed. 
So I sat. 
Waiting on this mystery bloke to find me and see where things would lead.

I looked up from my phone and a tall attractive man was walking toward me. I sat there, thinking to myself how yummy this man looked and was instantly turned on, never assuming that this man was the mystery man. 
However he was.

He walked up to me, smiled, asked if I was Kendal. 
He spoke with this amazing English Jamaican accent to boot. 
Oh Lordy, I was in trouble. 
I was lost already to his ways and all he had said was Hello.

I was also f-cking excited at my good luck. 
I mean I was thinking what I was thinking. 🤪😍😈

And so we went to lunch.
We talked. 
And we talked. 
And we talked some more.
We flirted.
And we let the energy do it’s thing.

The tale comes down that a few day’s later I found myself in a very intimate space with this man. Again never assuming that I would find myself here. 
Sorta shocked that he led us there, 
but VERY GRATEFUL.

(Mmmmmm….. yes, okay, I am back from those memories now…lol – well sorta 🤣)

Yes the sex was good. 
Yes he was yummy as f-ck. 
But you know what?

Neither of us were there for the sex.
Or the orgasm.

We both had plenty of that going on and did not need it from each other.

We were both there for something more.
It was called SOUL CONNECTION.

And here is the reason I do the things I do. 
Here is why I occasionally say YES to some random bloke.

SOUL CONNECTION.

This story ends with floods of orgasm.
With me learning how to squirt.
With me accessing parts of myself I did not know existed. 
It was healing, opening and magical plus I made a new friend.
And I believe that due to this random meeting I was opened up to other relations that I currently have.

One door opening may not keep you in the room that you walk into, 
but it will most certainly lead you into a new wing of your life, 
if you allow it too.

And here is why I do the things that I do.

I have no clue where this wine date will take me.
I have no expectation either. 
I am just open to see what the messages are that get shared and know that if it is only to stoke a thought, 
that may get a beautiful article stirred in me, 
or an idea for a vlog or a training course, 
or that perhaps I am going not even for that (although something is always birthed from a meeting), 
I may be going to share a message for this man. 
Something that he has needed to hear. 
Something that he has needed to be awakened too.

Perhaps, through this meeting he will open to an aspect of himself that will allow for him to heal a part of himself that will help lead him to his joy, his happiness or his forever more.

I do not know. 
And many things are not for us to know.

Sh*t he could just be an a*shole too….???

As we step along our life path, we often get caught up in the idea that we need to see the whole map, 
and we miss the steps we are taking and the beauty and lessons from those steps.

Life is about the journey. 
And the destination will only be as good as we allow the journey to be.

So why hold expectations. 
Why question and need answers that are not there for our current understanding.

There is never a reason to over think something. 
Overthinking will only lead to ego based drama creation.

When operating with SOUL ALIGNMENT, 
we often find that our paths will merge if but only for a split second with a stranger, 
just some random bloke you could say.

Some random bloke that shares a message. 
Some random bloke that shifts your sh*t, 
stirs your mind, 
or makes you aware.

Yes these are nothing more 
and nothing less, 
than, 
SOUL CONNECTIONS.

So stop being so afraid of strangers. 
Exit this world of stranger danger, 
where fear holds you from sharing a moment with someone, 
where fear holds you from meeting a new friend, 
where fear prevents you from saying YES, 
because your yes may not seem logical.

Stay aware. 
Stay open. 
Stay adventurous.

And you may just find that the only rubbish, 
is the rubbish of nonsense that you cannot share a moment just because it has presented itself.

Some of the best experiences are not planned, 
and come from left field.

They are not expected and do not hold expectations. 
They are but just a moment. 
A perfect moment of SOUL CONNECTION that will lead you to that next step, 
that next thoughts, 
that next awe-ha!

As Always, 
“Stop Existing & Start Living”

You have wanted to work with me forever.You desire the 
F-ck Yes! Life.Money. Success. Health. Romance. Freedom!But something has been stopping you.
Finances?
I was listening.

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