I once read an article where the author said: “Never sleep with someone you don’t want to be.” Such a profound statement. In Tantric teachings it is also taught that all the people with whom we make love to, leave a trace into our being.
It’s likely that many have noticed how they have experienced varying degrees of pleasure, different orgasms and excitement with different partners in their life. Why is it though that with one partner we experience really powerful orgasms while with another partner the orgasms are either weak or non-existent? Usually it is said that it’s not a good match physically. Physical compatibility is of course important, but there’s a lot more in play here.
All of us hold both feminine and masculine energy and for our whole lives we seek to keep these two energies in balance. We are attracted to the opposite sex because they have what we need. Women share their feminine energy with men and men share their masculine energy with women. Those on the spiritual path aspire to the same experience through various practices like yoga, meditation, etc. We all subconsciously seek for it. Whenever we spend time with or have sex with the opposite gender the energies get balanced for a moment. The moment we experience an orgasm is the moment when masculine and feminine energies in our being are balanced – the plus and the minus have become zero. And this zero-point is different with different partners.
Our inner masculine
Let’s take a closer look at this process. As a woman my feminine side is more active and my masculine side is asleep, so to say. To awaken the masculine energy that lies dormant in me I need a man. Not every man though can awaken the masculine energy in me. The masculine in me is of a certain type – tantric teachings describe that he is the whole of our past lives that we lived as men and affected by men with whom we’ve had close relations with in this life. This means that my inner male has certain features and an appearance. To connect with my inner male it’s enough for me to look at what kind of men I’m attracted to – those who best match my inner male also awaken him the most in me.
Suppose there are two men: Marc and Dave. Marc awakens my inner man 50% and Dave 90%. We don’t experience powerful orgasms with Marc, but with Dave the sex is simply glorious. This means that Dave is very similar to my inner male. This shows for example that if I attract so called bad boys, my inner male also carries a similar energy. So if I’m more with the so-called good guys, my inner male is good as well. This means, that if we wish to attract a different type of a partner, we need to consciously work with changing our inner male.
The inner male can be changed through spiritual practices. For example if I purify my being, then my inner male gets purified with it. Or we can change our inner male by knowingly starting to spend time with the types of men we want to be like. This can be problematic at first as these types of men might not seem very attractive initially. This is why this needs to be a very conscious decision. If we consistently spend more time with good guys, then soon they won’t appear as boring, because our inner male has started to change. You don’t always need to have intercourse with these people; even spending time as friends is enough for our inner male to start picking up features from them. One moment you might notice that your taste in men has changed completely.
Exactly the same description of the process goes for men and their inner females. And naturally our inner male or female is similar to our father or mother, as people with whom we’ve spent a lot of time together. Oftentimes men seek for a woman similar to their mother as women seek for men similar to their father.
Women are receptive
There’s another important topic here that is good for women to know. When we live with certain types of men, our own being starts become like them – due to a simple principle that women receive and men give. This goes much deeper though. One of the re-occurring topics of relationships is women’s emotionality. It is as if men don’t have any emotions at all, they are peaceful and stable, while women have a constant storm of emotions. Both partners play an important role in all relationship situations. Women are by nature more sensitive and also more receptive. Many women have surely noticed how they are calm and balanced when living alone. Then they meet a man, spend some time together and suddenly it’s as if she’s another woman. How so? There is of course personal development in relationships and we push each other’s buttons, but there is more to this.
Men who have been taught to suppress their feelings since young have learned other ways to unload their emotions and one of those ways is sex. So where will they unload their emotions during sex? Into the woman of course, who energetically receives the man’s storm of emotions and stores it in her. The man feels relief while the woman can’t keep the storm inside her as it would damage the woman. The woman ends up expressing the man’s emotional storm and gets blamed for it.
Women who don’t express their emotions though, might get health problems. Cervical cancer is one example. This is the second most common cause of death for women after breast cancer, while there are only 30-40 cases per a large state of men dying due to penile cancer.
In an energetical level men release their stress into women, thus grounding themselves with sex, and women in their receptivity take it in. Our cervix is very receptive and delicate as our center of our femininity. This makes it important to check with whom to have intercourse with, what the underlying energy-exchange might be like and what will we be taking into our being. If it seems that the man uses sex only to discharge themselves, then a smart woman would decline of such sex.
Sexual intercourse is for balancing each other – where a woman gives tenderness, gentleness, sensitivity to the man and the man on his part offers balance, grounding and inner direction to the woman. Sexual energy should be used consciously for strengthening the relationship bond and creating more love energy. This is one of the differenciating characteristics of a tantric couple when compared to a so-called regular relationship – the tantric couple is conscious in both their relationship and their sexuality.
Sexual slackness is rather common in our society and has little to do with being conscious. When partners cheat on each other in a relationship, then even if they don’t understand it, they’ll be bringing energy from other people into their relationship. By having affairs, one collects other people’s energetic baggage and this ends up affecting their everyone and the relationship.
Successful businessman and author Jim Rohn has said: „You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Next time you’re about to have intercourse with someone ask yourself: would I want to be this person? Do I respect them or not? Do the qualities they carry in themselves make me a better person? How well do I even know this person?
–Tantric Therapy, Katrin
Kendal’s Notes on This Article
When a friend shared this article with me, I knew it was something I had to pass along to everyone. Tantric Practitioner, Katrin hits the nail on the head in this blog post.
I could do a workshop just on this concept it is so powerful and the true understanding goes into the spiritual and quantum physical realms. It is an ancient concept and one that I personally have prescribed to since I started my own healing work on myself many years ago in the land of sexuality.
Quick story: There is a man, he might even be reading this newsletter right now…lol – This man from the first time I met him rocked my sexual energy world. My body ignited from looking at him, from the smell of his scent, from his kiss and when he spoke with that Mathew McConaughey voice my knees quaked and my pussy got wetter. Our talks were always good, we laughed and enjoyed so many things in common. I spent almost 5 years trying to make the relationship work. I wanted truly nothing other than his friendship and some hot sex, which one would assume would be a slam dunk when the turn on is so high as it is and was with this man. However, the problem was that every time we went there I literally could not feel him and then the after math of our sexing was that I would become extremely hormonal, angry, depressed and even physically sick. My body would ache. I felt like a used old shoe that had been kicked under the bed to be forgotten. I felt like I was just that a “fuck” and not even a fuck buddy, but just some place for him to jack off into. I felt like a container for his stress and all the negativity and chaos he had going on in his life would just cast a nasty shadow on me for a few weeks after.
Why was this?
Because women are receptive. And because in all actuality I was nothing more than this for him, my heart and soul knew from the first time we had sex and my body tried to warn me, but my stubbornness persisted and I kept trying to fix what was never meant to be.
Try explaining that to someone when your breaking up….
Another quick tale: I was married for 17 years to the same man. Him and I had 5 children together, worked on building a business together, did the whole through tough times, sickness and health thing. We stuck it out the best we could in the face of everything that we created and tried running from. Around year 11 or 12 of our marriage things became really toxic. We had had issues in the past but we were now really lost at sea and it appeared that I had developed a case of some really bad depression, even bi-polarness and everyone told me that I needed medicine. I would fly off the handle at seemingly little things, I did not want anything to do with sex and then I was a raging horn dog, I would develop yeast infections, bladder infections, kidney infections, sinus infections and had migraines. I was constantly tired, over weight, and hated life. I was sad all the time and could not find the light at the end of any tunnel because there was no tunnel, the darkness had just consumed me. I did some really crazy ass shit in this 3 year time frame. I burned my wedding dress and ring, I axed our garage refrigerator, I got mad so took it out on a toilet and almost lost my finger, I karate chopped the Christmas tree with all the ornaments on it. I stripped and dared the cops to come get me as I walked sown the street. And I woke up everyday wishing I had not woke up. I was lost in misery.
Today, most people who know me would have a tough time believing I could ever do that. Looking back I can hardly believe that I did that stuff, because it is not inside me at all to act like that. So what was the cause of my chaos, depression and bi-polarness?
It’s what I was being down loaded with in my sex life from mu husband. Not blaming him here, for we both had no clue. But looking back, my body was begging me to stop infecting it with this chaos. It rebelled by giving me yeast infections, bladder infections and other chronic issues. It was trying to protect me. But I did my wifely duty and had sex.
Today, I lead a calm, turned on life. My ex- husband, still living in the chaos, depression and bi-polarness. He is still confused and lost .
Today I look at the men I choose to share myself with and they all are of higher vibrations, they are determined, driven, clear, smooth energy men. They love playfulness, the adore learning, they avoid chaos and drama, they maintain their emotions and work on themselves before pointing the finger outward. They are extraordinary gentlemen and they download into me with our sexing and orgasms a life that I want to live, a life that is full, harmonious and on purpose.
So, yes we DO become like the people we have sex with. So be cautious as to who you are regularly enjoying intimate moments with, because there is no other place like the bedroom where association means so much.
“A good orgasm is satisfying, but a great orgasm can be a revelation of your deepest being, unfolding the truth of who you are in ecstatic communion with your lover.” — David Deida
Recently I was speaking with a young woman about her orgasms and her state of emotion. She shared with me how she had been diagnosed with depression and ADHD, how PMS was terrible for her and how she felt that she needed a man in her life to protect, save and hold her. She had been abandoned by the men in her past and had gained an ill understanding of her own heart and soul. Disconnected from her pussy and from her true self she exhibited self-hatred and shame, she felt embarrassed and lacked confidence, yet tried to hide all of this under a bubbly, loud personality with a beaming smile and flashy sex drive.Practically throwing herself at men, begging for their attention so she could survive one more day and pretend that for that moment she had love in her life.
As I sat there listening to her story, watching the emotions cross over her face I could feel her pain, I found myself wanting to just embrace her and tell her that everything would be okay, but that was the protective mama bear in me. Instead I chose to be honest and share the facts, “Sounds like you need to be properly f-ked my dear,” is what I responded. She looked at me and said, “What?” I restated it, “It sounds like you need to be properly f-ked, I don’t mean go have sex, just some junk food sex, I mean you need some gourmet, yummie, fulfilling f-king. You need an orgasm that fills your whole body.” She looked at me a bit taken back and then responded with,”Oh I just had sex, I had an orgasm, a good one. It was very good.”
“But was it fulfilling and gourmet?”
“Yes, yes I think it was. Maybe it was not exactly as gourmet as you are speaking of, but it was awesome.”
“Did it fill your whole body with rapture? Were you tingly and full of energy for days to come or did you grow tired and the orgasmic feeling passed through you within a few hours?”
A confused look came upon her face.
Here is the problem: this world is suffering from the majority of women not having real orgasms, shit most women don’t even have orgasms at all, they fake them, they hide out in their minds and they grow bitter toward life. Those who do have an orgasm normally rely on a clitorial quick fix or tighten their bodies up so much during an orgasm that it is short lived and never fills their whole being; body, heart and soul. They lack the orgasmic rapture that they need. Orgasm is mandatory for a woman to live an abundant, happy, healthy, full life. And not just any old orgasm will do this. The deeper, more penetrating an orgasm, the more life and creative energy, love and surrender a woman will bring to the world. To you.
When her emotions become muted and she is closed, lacking expression toward life she is close to running on empty in her orgasmic bank account. When she is overly hateful or stuck in depression, full of what seems to be crazy hormonal ups and downs she is lacking in her orgasmic bank account. When she lays down and has sex but is indifferent to what happens in the bedroom or cannot share her desires, her boundaries and her fears she is lacking in her orgasmic bank account and this is where the trouble resides. Worse yet, she won’t tell you the truth about what is going on because she herself does not understand. Even if she has a clue her voice will be seized by the darkness of her pussy frustration and her ego will have hold of her so strongly that she won’t be capable of vocalizing the unspeakable to you. That unspeakable being that she needs to be f-ked wide open by a man that can penetrate not only her flesh but her heart and soul. She needs his strength, his firmness, his masculine energy to be unleashed in her at a cellular level and TAKE her beyond the point of no return and right into the heavens of rapture. Only at this level can she trust her man and allow herself once again to be seen.
As Nicole Daedone, author of Slow Sex states, “Running on empty is not what you want your woman to be, unless you like irritability, impatience, hypersensitivity, and for everything to be your fault. Because in the space between what she asks for and what she really wants, resentment will begin to fester. And you, sir, will be the one she blames.
“Find out what she is hungry for, and give it to her. Never accept her first answer. Ask again. And again. Make it a part of your game plan to prod and push until she releases what she is withholding and her desire comes flying out. At first, her desire might sound like anger. She may need to blow off steam. Don’t take it personally, even if she says hurtful things.
“Keep asking until you feel her true desire release. You will feel it in your body when she finally lets go. Regardless of how much resistance she has, don’t stop asking until you feel it. You are helping her unravel a lifetime of conditioning – old beliefs and habits and rules that are suffocating the bright, lovely, sexy woman within.
“That’s the woman you want to be with. So if you have to ask all night, ask all night. You’ll know it when she finally speaks her desire because you will be able to feel it, landing with a satisfying *thunk in your body.
“Then give it to her, and you’ll be giving her the thing she never thought she could get: not just the desire, but approval for having the desire at all. ”
What Nicole is stating here is the powerful truth and it is hard to understand for many men because men have the ability to state what they need or want clearly most of the time. Men have also been raised differently then women and do not have the same shame placed upon them for wanting or needing sex. It is expected that a man craves, thinks about and will ask for sex. It is common thought in many marriages and in society that it is the woman’s place “to make sure to keep her man happy, else he will surely stray and find it somewhere else” but for a woman to be open about her cravings labels her a whore or slut. Even if we are not aware of this low grade consciousness and believe ourselves to be above this sort of thinking, the consciousness and programs still exist for all of us. They lay there in the covers of darkness within our psyche and if we are women they make themselves known pretty quickly as soon as we face our undernourished needs.
So gentlemen or those in the masculine role of the relationship, never stop asking your woman what she desires. Never stop inquiring about her deep hungers. Dig in her cavern and find the treasures she has hidden there, tell her frequently that you love her, that she is your babe, your special lady, your love. Touch her often and playfully and set aside time to REALLY be with her. This is not meaning a movie and dinner or even snuggle time on the couch, this means eye to eye, deep focused communication time. Communicate your love with words, looks and touch and ALWAYS keep asking. She will open to you.
Recently I came across a post in a discussion group by a male who was expressing confusion and frustration on focusing on his pleasure. His question was also how to focus on his pleasure and hers at the same time There are many different ways that this can be answered. What I believe the core of the problem to be is more widespread than just the pleasure question.
In my experience there is a belief, by males, that there is no difference between orgasm and climax. This is not true, we are never taught the difference, because talking about sex is considered taboo. So let’s strip away the taboo and deal with the concept of orgasm does not equal ejaculation. You can experience orgasm without climax, you can experience climax without orgasm. In my mind and experience the former is preferable. If a man can learn to move the sexual energy that gets built up in the genital region before climax he can get to the point of experiencing multiple orgasms without approaching ejaculation. Most guys spill over the edge of climax for several reasons.
The first and most important reason is lack of being in the moment and experiencing the pleasure of the intimate act with the partner. I would hazard a guess that most guys are already focused on “getting some” before the act is even certain and with ejaculation being the end goal.
To experience complete pleasure requires retraining the body and the mind to experience the depth and nuances of pleasure without focusing on the end goal of e ejaculation David Deidarefers to this kind of friction sex as “pump, pump ooooh, goo” Once you have retrained the body and the mind not to see ejaculation/climax as the goal of sex you can start to learn new patterns and your body will let you know when releasing energy via ejaculation is necessary.
There is no clean cut answer on how often a male should ejaculate as each body is different and will require different levels of energy retention and recycling. It will also depend on environmental factors, age, weight, diet, & general level of health. When ejaculation becomes a conscious choice instead of an expectation the true experience of pleasure can begin to be understood and felt.
It is important to keep in mind we can’t unlearn the patterns that we’ve built up over our lifetimes to this point. We did not learn how to walk, talk, ride a bike in a day. This is no different. It is a process of learning your body and how to open up to the sensations of pleasure. As they stated in a class that I recently took. When we learn to expand the container of the experience the more you can fit into that container. This includes sensations, thoughts, perceptions etc.
Like with anything else this will take conscious effort and practice.
You might have noticed that I have not mentioned to this point focusing on the woman’s pleasure. The reason for that is I don’t believe the posters confusion or frustration is centered anywhere other than himself. While it may be seen as chivalrous or forward thinking to focus solely on the woman’s pleasure first, by that very act you take away from the pleasure of the experience for both partners. So I am going to suggest that before any man asks the question of how to pleasure a woman, they first ask the question of accepting pleasure within themselves and what the intent they are taking into the experience is. Is it to share a beautiful moment of intimacy and deep connection with another human being, or are you focused on your climax?
ORIGINAL ARTICLE published on Authentic Living.com
Gnostic Christians used to call their religion Synesaktism – another word for Agape – which means ‘The Way of Shaktism’, referring to Tantric Yoni-Worship.
One of the most important rituals was preparing a ‘drink of immortality’ made from menstrual blood, which is full of healing stem cells, which can actually activate our cellular capacity to regenerate and transport us to endocrine states of rapture. Or in a spiritual sense open us to the Frequency of Love and Eternal Life, transporting us to another Dimension – called Heaven, Paradise, Nirvana etc.
This ‘Love Feast’ or ‘Sacred Marriage’ – a core part of the Menstrual Mysteries – was eventually declared a heresy and women were barred from participating in Christian rites.
However the ‘Power of Renewal, Rebirth, and Resurrection’ previously associated with the Holy Womb and Menstrual Blood of the Divine Mother was transferred to the story of Jesus and his ritual of Eucharist – ‘hic est sanguis meus – this is the Chalice of my Blood’ – where worshippers ‘drank his blood’ to gain the power of Rebirth through him.
In most ancient myths and religions, throughout the world dating back hundreds of thousands of years, the power of rebirth had always been a blessing of the Feminine Womb – embodied and gifted by Sacred Womb Priestesses across many cultures. It had never been held by a man. Although there are many legends about the ‘menstrual powers of female shamans’ being stolen by male gods.
The Holy Grail, in its true original essence, is the Womb.
Women born many, many thousands of years ago in what we might called ‘Original Innocence’ – before many of our genetic capabilities went offline, held this power naturally, as a birthright, shared with their tribes in renewal rituals.
Since those times, once the birthright was lost, women across many lineages and cultures – Womb Priestesses – have practiced many varied ways to heal, clear and open the Womb, so it can once again embody the frequency of Love, of Original Innocence, so that the energetic and physical stem cell capacity can activate purer states of consciousness and activate incredible regenerative healing. This knowledge has been almost lost over the last thousand years, as it has been fragmented, scattered and deliberately destroyed.
Now it is desiring to return, to ‘renew our lands’ as the myths go.
Earlier this year Dr Azra Bertrand and I met with a top international research scientist working with menstrual blood stem cells. His research indicated they had the capacity to work ‘miracles’. He described how the first time he used Menstrual Blood Stem Cells he felt like he had been ‘reborn’ – an unfit man in his late fifties, he’d had to run around the block because he had so much energy.
Another research scientist in his sixties working with stem cells had experienced his hair change from grey to the black of his youth in a matter of months. Throughout the world, in secret, these experiments are happening – in China, Russia, India, and more.
Whilst women are giving their power away to patriarchal ideologies, taking drugs to stop their menstrual cycle, using cancer-causing chemical bleached tampons to stem the flow, seeing their Menses as an inconvenient ‘curse’ they are ashamed of, male scientists around the world are using the power to experience states of physical and spiritual high.
Isn’t it time we reclaimed our power? Fountain of Life will have much more to say about this subject in 2013!
Please circulate and share the information.
Extract from Womb Awakening: Return of the Feminine, Rebirth of the Masculine © Fountain of Life
First seen on: Sensual Bliss Voyager
I had chosen for 8+ years to be single. Shutting myself off from the external world as much as I could. The reasons for this are largely irrelevant at this point. Suffice it to say I was shut down, scared, and frankly withering away. Close friends were trying pull me out. Then I met Kendal, through her Ecstatic Life Coaching program.
From the very first time I spoke with her on the phone I was struck by her ability to listen calmly to what was being said and ask questions to get a deeper understanding of where I was coming from even though I wasn’t sure myself. That is a theme that has continued through every meeting/session I have had with Kendal. She expertly and delicately invites to look deeper into a thought or feeling. I have never felt pushed, pulled, or dragged as friends are sometimes want to do under the guise of “your best interest”. The most I’ve ever felt from Kendal is the gentle, loving touch of reassurance. If I choose not to accept the invitation that is honored and accepted, but not to be forgotten.
There are times that I remember not accepting an invitation during a meeting/session only to have that same invitation appear at some later time. When she re-invites me it is always done from a loving place. There have been times where I have accepted the re-invitation, and other times where I have not. Either way my decision is always respected without the slightest judgement.
After several coaching sessions Kendal extended an invitation to experience a QCE session. With some level of nervousness and very little understanding of what I was really being offered, I accepted. During the first QCE session Kendal was very attentive to every shift that was happening. To the point where my energy levels were raised sufficiently to experience, for the first time in my life, a full body energetic release. To which my response was “what the f*** was that?” while laughing and settling into the feelings and sensations it evoked. Kendal laughed with me and quietly explained what I had just experienced. Just as she has at every step along the journey she has chosen to accompany me on.
Through both the coaching sessions and the QCE I have been able to push through some major blocks that have kept me from truly experiencing life and all it has to offer. The transformation I continue to see has amazed me. First and foremost the transformation in the relationship I have with myself, and also with the rest of my world. Since working with Kendal I have developed a relationship with an absolutely lovely woman and I know that would not have been possible where I was before I started working with Kendal. Kendal continues to guide and actively share in every session I have with her, as a coach, as a friend, and as a fellow traveller through this amazing world we share.
Kendal’s focus on healing both on a personal and energetic level has been exactly what I needed in my life. Everything has not been what I expected, however, even when my reactions have been centered in fear, not love, Kendal has been there without judgement to allow me to work through that fear and push through back to a space of love. I suggest Kendal’s coaching or QCE sessions, if like me, you are feeling cut off from the world, stuck in fear or stagnant. I would suggest that whichever you choose that it be from a place of open understanding not egoic expectation. The experience for both you and Kendal will be so much better for it.
Kendal, my deepest respect and thanks for choosing to guide me on this journey.
So many people that I’ve had conversations with have told me that they are seeking balance in their life. I decided to go look up the word balance on dictionary.com. It read a state of equilibrium. Searching further equilibrium means a state of rest due to the equal action of opposing forces. When you have two or more opposing forces that are exerting equal action you can develop balance. As we move through our daily lives we have more than 2 opposing forces at any one time. Rarely do these forces exert equal action or force. So if you can only have balance with opposing forces exerting equal force then the realization of balance never develops.
How many times have we been faced with opposing thoughts(forces)? Here’s an example that we’ve all faced. I have to go to work, however, I’d much rather stay home and spend time with a loved one. These are not applying equal action on us. If the need for money is greater it will exert greater force. If the need for connection with the loved one is greater than the need of money then taking the day off would be exerting greater force. Balance or equilibrium needs opposing forces to be created. Opposing forces create a duality within us. That duality rarely ever has equal action on both sides, there for balance is missed and our lives are lopsided. Like that shopping cart with the one flat spot on the wheel that goes clunk clunk clunk as we walk through the grocery store.
Whats the alternative then? Harmony.
Again going back to dictionary.com harmony means a consistent, orderly, or pleasing arragment of parts. When we move away from trying to get opposing forces to exert equal action at the same time, we can start to build harmony in our lives. Instead of dealing with the duality of opposing forces, build your life so there is agreement with all the different forces in your life. I will go to work today and then take my loved one out for a nice dinner, or make a nice dinner. Even when something is out of balance it can still be in harmony. That shopping cart that I mentioned earlier. If you are out of balance and out of harmony with your life that constant clunk might push you to the point of madness.
However, if you are out of balance AND in harmony you might notice that that clunk is in perfect time with the music playing in the store and smile. Some that I have talked to want to find balance for every aspect of their life. This is mostly impossible. Just take gender as an example I hear people all the time state they want to balance their masculine and feminine energy. These are opposing forms of energy. Very complementary but opposite. Whether you are male or female you have both energies within you. However they are rarely ever to the point that they are applying or exerting equal action in your life so then how can you balance them. Working to get the masculine and feminine to be in harmony though, that’s beautiful. They no longer have to be exerting equal action. You could be 75% feminine and 25% masculine and still be in harmony. The energies working in harmony to create the consistent, orderly, or pleasing arrangement of parts or energies in this case. You give up the battle of duality of trying to be 50% feminine and 50% masculine.
As you start to apply the harmony principle to your life you will start to find that things may come into balance naturally. Harmony allows us to take a step back from the constant battle of duality. It allows us to build ONE life that flows by taking these forces and into a simultaneous combination. Where each force becomes a note on the music of your life. A piece of music that you are the author of.
What do you want the music of your life to sound like?
Read more from this Daka/Soul Coach HERE
Learn more about Alexander Brighton and his unique approach to healing through the “I AM Experience”
“When you are moving toward an objective, it is very important to pay attention to the road. It is the road that teaches us the best way to get there, and the road enriches us as we walk its length. You can compare it to a sexual relationship: the caresses of foreplay determine the intensity of the orgasm. Everyone knows that… And it is the same thing when you have an objective in your life. It will turn out to be better or worse depending on the route you choose to reach it and the way you negotiate the route.” – Petrus, The Pilgrimage by Paulo Coelho
When my children were very young I spent many a late morning or early afternoon, cuddled up with them watching a Disney or Dream-Works movie. Each movie, even in its grand Hollywood masking carried with it a tale of a soul who was looking for their path. At some point in the movie the main character would have to step off the safe and stable route that their families and friends had encouraged them to stay on and they had to venture out into the great unknown called: Life.
My top favorite movie to watch with my children was: Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron
The tale of a young stallion who through great pain, suffering, loss of family and true love discovers an unbreakable friendship, an elevation in love and the true courage of being a heroic Patriot of the Soul. For anyone who has watched this family movie from start to finish and allowed the soundtrack to dance its way through your heart, you know what I am referring to here. The beautiful thing about this movie and many others that captivate us is that only through struggle, tribulations, tears and pain; only through risking everything can we ever fully have everything that we want and more.
Joseph Campbell says it best, “We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”
Not so long ago I found myself lying in the arms of a man I love. Every moment spent with him has been full of peace, unconditional love, acceptance and even in the times that I find myself breathing as to not allow my ego to jump hastily into our differences I still feel great intimacy and depth. This particular afternoon however I was being torn up internally with fear. It had been weeks building, I had been taking notice of the smallest events, words shared, jokes, and above all else this pit in my stomach. I had made up my mind that for the greatest good of all parties (him and I) that we must part ways. I was fully prepared to tear my heart from my chest, to remove myself from the equation so that he could carry on and advance on his path. The fear of letting go of this bird so it could fly free though was horrifying!
We both found ourselves trapped in what seemed like a spot where God had abandoned us. The “higher powers that be” were laughing at our love, at our hearts that were breaking. Both fully aware that things were what they were but could soon very well change. The twists of the path we were walking on could cause a fork in the road. One that would force us to step down two separate trails. Being a man, as anyone who has read Grey’s book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus will understand, he was now acting in the role of Mr. Fix It. I was laying there taking in his scent, how his large hands felt as they cradled me, touched my cheek and how distant his heart beat felt in this position. I wanted to just blurt out everything that had been lying on my heart for the last month, but was scared that in revealing my true pain and not staying in this aloof state that was calm and collected would only cause him more suffering. And god how I did not want to be any more vulnerable then I was already feeling.
Sniffles cleared the silence of the moment, he was weeping. He was living the loss of us in this very moment. Tears came to my eyes, grabbing hold of his arm and his hands as I encouraged him to hold me tighter. I could feel that another Circumcising of the Heart was taking place for both of us.
“Often the love that means the most and is the truest will cause the most pain as well,” kept going through my head. It reminded me that we were each on the brink of great transformational awakening. It was a birthing process. Much like Pocahontas we were being gifted in this moment with the choice to choose our route. What’s around the river bend? Key words to remember for any Pathfinder. Anyway we looked at it there was going to be pain, there was going to be something that we would have to risk. The choice though was ours as to what we valued the most and what we could breathe through. In times when we are faced with hard choices and risk we are also faced with truly living life!
We can be like a turtle and cave up within ourselves, we can harden our hearts or we can be like a snake and shed our old skins, our old beliefs, patterns and transform into something more. A new version of ourselves. Often once we have revealed this new higher vibrational self to the world, to those we love and to ourselves we discover that what we were once afraid of is actually only our own TRUTH. From being willing to make what seemed like a sacrifice we open the doorway to our true path.
The path of the patriot of the soul is like all paths, but it is unique because of the being that has chosen to walk it. This person is a crusader. This person wants to live life to fullest. Does not want to settle for a life of illusion, doldrums, control and average ordinary experiences.
The patriot of the soul thrives on discovering their own bliss and promises to themselves and to those that hold their hand on the path to “always dance in loves moments; even the painful ones. To love unconditionally and religiously the divinity in each other.”
True love of another can sometimes make us feel as though we have found ourselves fenced outside of what our desires and hopes once were. True love in its highest form reveals the courage to share of ourselves even when it may appear not in our best interest. “Love is wanting the most for someone, the most experience, the most adventure, the most exploration, the most feeling, the most growth… For them to be all they can, fly as high as they can, go as deep as they can. And to support them as much as you can. This may be the hardest way to love; it is though the truest way to love… (Jonti Searll)”
To truly open ourselves to another soul and to our destiny, our purpose, our life path, we must be willing to travel across the bridges of emotion. We must be willing to STOP and meditate on our hearts and to listen to the omens. The Patriot of the Soul
knows three things:
With these three things a Soul Patriot takes in the words of Buddha, “Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.” The Patriot of the Soul goes deeper then the material world of love and happiness. Advances farther than any societal career could ever take them. They open themselves to “seeing life through heavens eyes. (The Prince of Egypt)” In doing this the Patriot discovers true unity of self, there is no more dividing and conquering. They discover that the peace and harmony that everyone searches for is right here: It is within. Anything else is attempting to cause a wave of distortion in the peaceful waters of your soul.
A true Patriot of the Soul takes risks! And knows that in all honesty there is NO path.
If you believe you must go somewhere, do something, learn something, create something to obtain pure awareness, pure love, and peace then you have already lost all that you desire as well as your way home.
“You create your own universe as you go along” Winston Churchill
What does your reality look like?
Love a Woman
If you want to change the world…love a woman….really love her. Find the one who calls to your soul, who doesn’t make sense. Throw away your check list and put your ear to her heart and listen. Hear the names, the prayers, the songs of every living thing…… If your eyes aren’t filled with tears, if you aren’t bowing at her feet, … you haven’t ever grieved having almost lost her.
If you want to change the world… love a woman…..one woman beyond yourself, beyond desire and reason. We have given ourselves so many choices we have forgotten that true liberation comes from standing in the middle of the soul’s fire and burning through our resistance to Love. There is only one Goddess. Look into Her eyes and see…..really see if she is the one to bring the axe to your head. to severe you from the old life so that you can enter the new.
If you want to change the world… love a woman. Love her for life….beyond your fear of death, Don’t tell her you’re willing to die for her. Say you’re willing to LIVE with her, plant trees with her and watch them grow. Be her hero by telling her how beautiful she is in her vulnerable majesty, by helping her to remember every day that she IS a Goddess through your adoration and devotion.
If you want to change the world… love a woman in all her faces, through all her seasons and she will heal you of your double-mindedness and half-heartedness which keeps your Spirit and body separate- which keeps you alone and always looking outside your Self for something to make your life worth living.
If you want to change the world… love a woman, just one woman . Love and protect her as if she is the last holy vessel. Love her through her fear of abandonment which she has been holding for all of humanity. No, the wound is not hers to heal alone. No, she is not weak in her codependence.
If you want to change the world… love a woman all the way through until she believes you, until her instincts, her visions, her voice, her art, her passion, her wildness have returned to her- until she is a force of love more powerful than all the forces that seek to devalue and destroy her.
If you want to change the world, lay down your causes, your guns Lay down your inner war, your righteous anger and love a woman… beyond all of your striving for greatness, beyond your tenacious quest for enlightenment. The holy grail stands before you if you would only take her in your arms and let go of searching for something beyond this intimacy.
What if peace is a dream which can only be remembered through the heart of Woman? What if a man’s true love for Woman, the Way of the Feminine is the key to opening Her heart?
If you want to change the world…love a woman to the depths of your shadow, to the highest reaches of your Being, back to the Garden where you first met her, to the gateway of the rainbow realm where you walk through together as One, to the point of no return, to the ends and the beginning of a new Earth.
Shortly after entering her suite, Kendal smiled and said she had something special for me that day. I am a long-term Kendal fan and client, and have learned to always trust her intuition as I’ve found I’m never disappointed with the outcome. My world changes drastically when I am received into her sessions. I leave chaotic traffic and my busyness and am enabled to slow down and feel immense peace and tranquility. Frankly, Kendal’s sessions are among the very few places I go where I can remove myself for a short time from the hectic craziness of my world.
She’s always warm and friendly, free with smiles and brief casual conversation – all sincerely intentioned to give me relief from my cares. Although I know it’s just her way, she can’t help but make me feel like I am the most important person to her while I am in her sessions. Her room, as usual, was lit only by candlelight. My eyes adjusted as we talked and I noticed that a sheet-covered mat on the floor replaced her usual massage table.
Facing me, she took my hands in hers and placed them at the center of her chest. She asked me to take ten deep breaths as she used her other hand to check my chakra by gently touching my neck, chest, diaphragm and stomach. While I don’t understand the science behind this (I don’t feel I need to), I find it pleasing and comforting. And it seems to set the mood for her therapy, which I have found to be very centering.
She received permission to remove my shirt, pants and other clothing, hanging them neatly on hooks. The room was still with peace and anticipation as she led me to the mat and leaned back against some pillows along one wall. She asked me to lie with my back against her. As I rested myself against her warmth, she began to lightly touch my face, shoulders, arms and chest. I could feel her soft breath against my neck and had the sensation that I was melting into her and into a world that I would not want to leave.
After several minutes, she asked me to lie on the mat face down. What I felt next was not only surprising, but also uniquely different than anything I had ever experienced before. Her hand held a palm full of cool powder, which she began to spread over my skin. All at once there was a cool, almost liquid-like sensation followed by the smoothness of her skilled hands rubbing the powder onto my body. It was exquisite – sensually arousing and nurturing all at once. I have had many Kendal massages using oil, but this treatment with powder transported me to a new level of sensitivity. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, she asked me to lift up onto my knees and elbows. She then smoothed more soft powder over my buttocks, inner thighs, stomach and elsewhere sending me into an even higher state of arousal – one that I hadn’t thought possible.
I then rolled over onto my back as Kendal used a soft cloth to gently wipe away the powder residue. She continued by cupping warm oil and pouring it over me. The warm oil in contrast to what I felt with the cool soft powder was delicious. Kendal worked her skillful magic, paying attention to every detail and bringing me to a place where I was removed from all of my concerns, relaxed and completely fulfilled. As I lay quietly in the soft, warm glow with this beautiful woman attentively caring for me, I couldn’t imagine being in a better place.
Anyone who knows her and has experienced her treatments knows that everything Kendal does, she does with loving care and attention. Never does her therapy feel clinical. I continue to admire her deft touch and her immense creativity. And it’s impossible to ignore the beauty of her mind, body and spirit. This therapy that she calls “The Caesar” is a must-try. Enjoy!
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