“Everything you can imagine is real.”-Picasso
Yesterday I was once again blessed to work with my creative, beautiful daughter Rebekah who is following her passion and soul by developing her own brand in photography , Photography In Wonderland. In working with her yesterday for a spontaneous shoot I realized a few things about life, love and the pursuit of happiness. These things we value so dearly and all consistently strive for or find ourselves trapped in a morbid abyss of suffering, shame and hatred if we choose to hide from our souls desire, all come back to allowing the creative transformation of our inner realms to dance and merge with those of our outer worlds. We are the artists of our lives. Picasso, had it right when he said that everything you can imagine is real, because it is. The hidden world that lies within each of us longs to have the light of life, love and happiness shine upon it. Yet trapped in societal conditioning the majority of people have a tough time finding the courage and stamina it requires to open the door to this blossoming of self. The reason it is so scary to allow our authentic selves to be seen in the world is because over the course of time it has been expected and even demanded that we hide these very aspects of self. We have been sheltered in our thinking and told that a strong foundation for life was built on logic and normalcy, not on imagination and unique authenticity. Yet all people over the course of time that have made an impact on our world were far from logical or average in attitude, thinking or actions. Leaders, visionaries, and game changers all fall under a different label. These men and women , are average people with extraordinary courage and desire. Do they posses something unique? Do they have more skill set or knowledge then you or I? Are they a better person therefore deserving of more from life? The answer is no across the board. The only thing that they have that over 80% of the rest of society does not have is a desire to transform. They understand that they are the only ones who can change themselves and they know that life is about growth. These same 20% of “Special People” understand that in order for growth to happen and for them to succeed in fulfilling their inner calling that they MUST overcome the self imposed fears and muster up just a drop of courage to take that first step into greatness. They know that getting into the flow of creative transformation is the life blood of opening up to god, the universe or whatever other name you choose to call the creator of all and letting this source breathe love, life and happiness into their very existence.
A creative transformation is about just this, opening our rusty gates that we have on our hearts and souls and allowing for imagination to flow freely. When we embrace our imagination we lock arms with our true power. As Einstein stated, “Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.”
It is time to dig into our pockets and pull out the diamonds that are carried there. These treasures that we have been hiding from society, our friends, family and even ourselves. It is time for each of us to stop cheating ourselves and discover that life was not meant to be endured and suffered through. Life is meant to be embraced in love and passion. When we open ourselves to creative transformation and the journey it takes us on we say to life that we desire to be fucked wide open, we desire to dance with the angels and hear our hearts music. We say to the great creator of all that we know that life is a privilege and a mission. It is a mission of letting go of what we think we know and opening up to all that can be. We spread our legs to the universe and we allow it to penetrate our cores like a lover that we will never see again. We say to hell with fear, structure, bondage and rules and thus say YES to ourselves and the art of our lives.
One of the most imaginative teachers of time you could say was Jesus. He taught through stories, he taught through love and he taught through authentic uniqueness. He still remained part of the culture that he was born into, but he was not afraid to throw some tables and show that the universe will bend to your will when you have the desire, courage and faith. His message was one that we all too could do this and so much more (John 14:12) but it is a message of creative transformation that so many are still not ready to hear.
Easter weekend is upon us yet again and many will join in the process of what we call tradition. The painting of the Easter eggs, the hiding of these eggs so that a our young imaginative children can discover them along with trinkets and sweets. We will congregate in churches and holy sanctuaries around the world, celebrating the transformation process of Jesus. We will place this teacher on a pedestal and miss all the messages of the annual opportunity that has been passed down like a torch of great light and universal understanding. The traditions that we celebrate this coming Sunday are not primarily focused on Jesus even, but have been around for many years prior to his teaching. The traditions of Easter have roots in Pagan beliefs and even go back into world history to the ancient Egyptians, Persians, Phoenicians, and Hindus who all believed the world began with an enormous egg, thus the egg as a symbol of new life has been around for eons. Easter’s true meaning is about rebirth and fertility. Both are things that a creative transformation process blesses us with, but in order for us to experience this process one has to be like a small child where in the heart, mind and soul their is fertile ground for imagination to bloom and flourish thus bringing the ascension process of the life mission.
Part of my realization in working with Rebekah on photo-shoots was that life and creative energy are things that you must be ready to embrace when the muse of art is dancing with them. The best experiences are often not planned, expected or even considered. Sometimes we can find ourselves on one path and not even see the crossing path that will make all the difference to our journey. Looking back over the course of my own history and transformation I can see now the impact of imagination and how playing on this road that so many choose not to travel on as actually being the essential tool of a successful life. It is the pulse of life itself and with every beat we open our ears to love and happiness, purpose and flow, we open ourselves to being the Messiah of our own life path.
“Whether you succeed or not is irrelevant, there is no such thing. Making your unknown known is the important thing.”
” Reality 1: Hang on to Old Reality consciousness and becom immersed in its crumbling facade and deepening devastation. This reality will be filled with mounting evidence that the old ways of seeing the world are no
Reality 2: Align yourself with the uplifting grace of New Reality consciousness and its inherent sense of the new, the hopeful and the inspired. Align yourself with its enormous potential to build a new and better world.
These two realities are like two ships waiting to leave port. Both ships have raised steam; their propulsion turbines are at rest, yet poised with potential and ready to push the massive ships forward.
For now, you are still able to move from one ship to the other, making your choice while they remain in port, but time is running short. The two ships, Reality 1 and Reality 2, are about to leave port and go their separate ways.
The reality that you subscribe to – the one to which you give the most energy – is the one that you will see manifest more and more in your perception of the world.
When storms pass by, they affect all ships. As world crises pass by, they affect all people. The difference is that those in the New Reality community will sense the emerging love and the new hope for a better world that emerges with each crisis, while those who subscribe to the Old Reality consciousness will fall deeper into a fear-filled view of reality.
Here are the rules of Reality 1: Watch the television, especially the news. Be afraid, very afraid. Do what you are told.
Here are the rules of Reality 2: Notice the ever-increasing frequency of consciousness that fills the air. Notice how each day makes it easier to access the unconditional love of heart-centered consciousness. Notice how you can join with others of like mind and work for a better reality, a future filled with community and support, while helping each other to realize more spiritual unfoldment.
For a time, the people of Reality 1 and Reality 2 will keep sharing the same world. The difference is the lens through which they will perceive reality.
The lens that looks at a material world sees one reality, while the lens that looks through the heart sees a totally different picture, even though they are looking at the same world. The lens that you choose determines how you experience your reality.
The time has come to make a firm decision to join the good ship, “Reality 2,” with its New Reality consciousness, and to see the world through a lens that encourages your purpose in life.
It is a time to expand your awareness through an increased focus on spiritual consciousness, through the study and practice of the universal laws, and through reaching out to others who can be helped in turbulent times that are filled with both great change and great opportunity.
It is time to make that crucial decision, to join your ship and set your course directly into the dawn of the emerging New Reality.
The single most powerful opportunity for spiritual advancement in 26,000 years is coming and it is just a month away!
In order to best prepare for the 2012 cosmic gateway which occurs on December 21st, we are running a 2012 Transformation course, starting on December 1st.
Prepare now to pass through the 2012 gateway in the best possible way. Join the many souls of like mind on this course who will be learning about the emerging new standard in spiritual growth. Tune in with the ascended masters who will be assisting us during this course to reach the new level of spiritual consciousness.”
Freedom is the release of control…
I thought this was a beautiful add on to my tale Serenade of the Boogie Monster. This allows all to see both sides of the story as well as the transformational aspects that occurred and are still in process. As with everything in life the path to enlightenment and expansion is never ending. Each step we reveal new aspects of our self and we see those in our lives through our new eyes. Our lessons are put before us so that we may expand personally but also so that we may openly share and have empathy for our brothers and sisters. It has always been through story that we learn.
“You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway.”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
I as the husband in this story would like to share my side and also take the opportunity to explain what I have learned. Perhaps in doing so some of the regret I have will wash away. I am still doing the work of discovering my particular issues referred to in Kabbalah as Tekkun. I have had a sense of not being good enough, not worthy, a very common human trait. Kendal had a very special spiritual/sexual love connection with her first lover. They where to run away together and he disappeared and left her devastated. She quickly turned to me wounded. For me it was as if God had handed me an Angel. The life partner I had been dreaming about. I could not believe she had chosen to love me and I felt like I could rope the moon. Neither of us understood at the time how much of a needs based relationship it was. The problem is anytime we are getting our needs met by someone else, if they stop filling them there is a feeling of loss. We humans when we feel loss strive to get it back, to get that need filled. This is where control comes in, what once was free we need to take. We take through manipulation, guilt, fear and sometimes physical abuse. Looking back this happened very early on in our 18 marriage and it is still happening today as my desire to be close to her causes her to feel controlled. Back to the story. My needs and insecurities increased by the fact that I compared myself to her first lover. He was taller, had a bigger penis, a better connection energetically then we ever had. I tried to make up for it through performance, to fix it. I would get her to love me more by making more money, taking romantic trips, fucking her harder and deeper and lasting longer. None of this worked of course. I would fantasize about our friend having sex with her, the two of us having sex with her. His penis was bigger so maybe he could please her and I wanted her to be pleased yet this surfaced all my insecurities. I could see and feel the energy she had with him. I needed to be the one to please her. My need would not be met, or would it? She was not open enough to talk about it and it would have brought my negative ego control issues to the surface like an atomic bomb, so she lied. I knew she was lying.
“Chaos is what we’ve lost touch with. This is why it is given a bad name. It is feared by the dominant archetype of our world, which is Ego, which clenches because its existence is defined in terms of control.”
An absolute energetic relationship death. We continued on in this dead end disaster for 13 more years before her soul had had enough and she did what she had to do to heal herself and turned to Tantra, Kabbalah, her soul guide, and other men in a desperate attempt for freedom. I am sharing this in hopes that someone reading might be helped and get understanding. I want everyone to know how proud I am of her and how thankful I am that she had/has the courage to strive for soul integrity. She is and always will be my spiritual teacher. We can’t go back in time yet as I work on my healing I reflect on how different it could have been had I the courage 13 years ago to do the work on myself. To open up to Tantra as a spiritual path and also to polyamory. Looking back the only thing wrong with my fantasies is that I wasn’t emotionally or spiritually strong enough to handle it. It’s a matter of consciousness. I look around at relationships and can see and feel the pain these control issues are causing. I am looking forward to having many lovers as I continue to heal and grow my consciousness. I hope one day to be lovers with Kendal again knowing all the negativity that would have to be released because I would not want her to live out of soul integrity to fill my needs. I can desire her love open and free but I can not need it. Currently I still feel loss, needs unmet. There is much work to be done so here is my shout out to the world, stop the insanity. Do the hard work. It’s going to be really fucking hard and your demons will surface, but the world needs you to do it. Dive in the water is cold but you get used to it and it is why we are here. To heal, love openly, grow, expand love, expand ourselves.
“The most important thing is this: to be willing at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we can become.” — Charles Du Bois
Any of us who have viewed the movie The Secret, read or studied A Course in Miracle’s or have done any amount of self-improvement may it have been in Technology of Kabbalah, NLP, Landmark or good ol’ Amway, are familiar with the concept that we need to let the old leaves of our old selves and lives shed so that we can bloom into a new reality of self and manifest the life that we are desiring. No matter the course we choose to birth this transformation, one thing is evident — one aspect of our life (self) must die in order to give birth to the desired life (self). But how do we do this? And more at question here is how does something such as tantra assist us on this mission?
What is Tantra?
Tantra is about the expansion of human consciousness. Just today I was listening to Sasha Cobra one of my favorite teachers and she was sharing the power of releasing traumas from the physical body. Even if you are someone who has not experienced a “significant” trauma (i.e. rape, sexual abuse, beatings, deaths of loved ones, etc.) you may have blocked energies and traumas from childhood programming (an over religious family, controlling, etc) or grown up where stability was at question, even past life traumas come into play and block our energies in current bodies. Tantra expands our consciousness through exercises, breath-work and bodywork by releasing these traumas, which completely change our thought process once they have been let go of. This then helps us to connect to our Divine State of True Being.
It takes great courage to set foot down the healing path of Tantra as it does any healing path. In order to access the holistic aspects of Tantra one needs to be willing to be “Naked in Every Way.” Meaning that we are willing to bring our souls as well as our bodies to a sharing of the depths of all the levels of our personalities. Physical, emotional, mental, energetic and soul levels. This is how we can achieve divine presence or union with the creator, the universe itself. Tantra is an ancient sacred practice that is laced throughout many world cultures that teaches us how to achieve this divine presence.
However, it is only accessible when certain things are in place for the healing to happen so that the union will manifest.
Safety – Vitally important that each party feels safe and supported in the environment. Proper boundary setting is a must in ALL relationships. When entering into any sacred holistic healing all parties need to feel safe and be able to establish what they are comfortable with and what their expectations may be for the events to follow. These boundaries MUST ALWAYS be respected so that healing may happen.
Responsibility – You and your teacher, partner must be responsible for your own beliefs, decisions and consciousness. Simply put, be responsible for the energy that you bring to the event. May it be a yoga, breath-work or energy based session or a tantric date night with your lover, be responsible for your energy, thoughts, actions and emotions.
Communication – One has to be willing to express their own needs in anyway that they can. Through words, sounds, or gestures. A tantric experience will help those who do not know how to lovingly communicate their needs to be able to, but participants on both sides must be willing to listen to and express when encouraged either by their teacher/partner or by their inner voice.
Trust and Surrender– Tantra is about loving, living and being. The above areas are there mainly to assist with helping the participants in the most important area of all, trust and surrender. Our society teaches us that we should not trust or surrender yet the only way to fully embrace bliss and the divine, which will expand our consciousness and weave together all aspects of our physical experience and souls manifest, is to trust and to surrender. Often what is not thought of is that the trust that we must heal and learn to embrace is not that of trusting everyone on our life path but of trusting ourselves and our ability to make healthy decisions for ourselves. If we have a partner in life then it is vital to be able to express ourselves and trust them as well. With trust comes surrender. The power one can experience with deep vulnerability and surrender is ‘Awh’ striking. To be able to express our needs, our pains, and our hearts and know that we will be accepted, loved and supported is part of any healing tantric path.
What tantra is not.
When I was asked this question recently by Dr. Michael Harris for a Blog Talk radio show “Is your love life FAST FOOD or GOURMET?” I instantly found myself examining the world and every aspect of life. Where is Tantra not? Would be a better question, however the point of the question is to assist in clearing up the ill use of this sacred holistic art. Tantra has gotten a lot of negative media recently and most of this is caused because of our societies Puritan heritage which even though we don’t want to admit it still shapes our social morals and ideas/thinking in many ways.
Tantra is not solely about sex. Recently there has been much talk about tantric sacred sites and much of what has been revealed is untrue of the consciousness of what was and is happening around the world at these places. Tantra encompasses all of life. It is about weaving all aspects of our life experiences together into bliss and thus increasing our vibration so that we come closer to that Christ- Consciousness or Divine Being (union with God or the Higher Self). Let me give you some items to ponder that are all very tantric living based, meaning that when experiencing life from a state of bliss, a healed body, mind and soul, that are communicating properly one might be able to experience. (real world scenarios too)
- Imagine if you could be sitting in a board meeting and feeling a level of bliss that you experience when you are with your lover? Would that not be nice?
- What if you could go to your child’s soccer game and be fully present with no worries of the work day to come, the proposal that needs to be finished, the house chores or bills? You were just there feeling, experiencing your child’s game. How would this affect your life and the life of your loved ones?
- Imagine that in times of what seems to be chaos you actually could breathe deeply and not react in a nervous, stressful way, but instead approach the situation, no matter what it was with love and a higher level of seeing what was happening?
- What if the one individual who you have the most bitterness toward you started seeing through loves eyes? Would these scenarios change your current reality into something more pleasurable?
Tantra awakens us to this reality. Sex is used often in tantric teachings to help heighten vibrational levels, heal traumas, unite souls, and teach about bliss, communication, love and presence among many other things. Sacred work is holistic based. No matter what path a practitioner or teacher chooses to assist their clients in achieving a reality of bliss verses chaos, it is all designed according to the gifts of the teachers and the needs and agreement that they have discussed with their clients.
When working with couple’s tantra does indeed go to the depth of full union often(for the client couple). Often, this is not in a first session unless each of the partners has been doing solo work and coaching outside of the union session. Most of the couple’s sessions that I do, for example, are focused on establishing healthy communication, soul appreciation, and breath work, basic tantric massage to assist in love making and in helping the partners heal each other through the body of the emotional, mental, physical and spiritual wounds of the past. I also teach basic quantum core energtix , which focuses on the energy centers and aura field. Clear blockages and softening the kundalini so that it might uncoil in a healthy manner.
(It’s important to make known that one does not have to have an active partner or any partner at all to practice tantra or work with a teacher/practitioner or sex coach. That would be like saying you have to be married to go to church and read the bible. Tantra is like any other spiritual practice it is about YOU and YOU alone. Through the union of all aspects of yourself you further open to love and others. Personally I offer, individual goddess sessions, extraordinary gentlemen sessions, couples sessions, programs for all and sex and life coaching (in person and on the phone) as well many bio-energetics based sessions to assist in clearing energy and harmonizing the chakras.)
Through the practice of Tantra which is a spiritual science that makes use of the magical powers of our sexual energy one can experience a holistic healing of Mind, Body, and Soul that traditional medicine is blind too. It has been my personal tale and that of many of my friends, lovers, family and clients that Tantra in its paradox’s and social Taboos is perhaps one of the most powerful transformation tools known to humankind.
Listen to the October 22, 2012 BlogTalk radio Show
“Is your love life FAST FOOD or GOURMET?”
“Your inner purpose is to awaken. It is as simple as that. You share that purpose with every other person on the planet – because it is the purpose of humanity.” –Eckhart Tolle
One day a tiny caterpillar awakens and starts it journey to becoming a beautiful butterfly, but does it have any concept of what it will be like to get there or to actually fly? Most likely not. It is a caterpillar and as a caterpillar it knows only one thing. The hunger it has for food. A caterpillar eats more than ten times its weight within a few days of life, it then becomes so sluggish that it barely has the energy to climb to a perch and connect itself to a plant where it will take the next steps to its transformation. Once attached though it relaxes, allowing its outer skin to dry and become a shelter where within a new life will emerge. In this tranquil state the old and the new reside within the same moment. As the nutrients consumed over the days before slowly unite with the breaking down of the caterpillar’s old body while new cells awaken. Together a beautiful process of creation happens. DNA structures change and within a short period of time what once only hungered for food of the earth and moved slowly on a multitude of tiny little legs, finds itself cramped tight in a cocoon that no longer serves its purpose. Slowly with great pressure the cocoon starts to crack and the wings of a new empowered creature reveals itself. Stretching its delicate wings out, feeling its new life cross over with the breath of Mother Nature, this butterfly takes to the heavens. Dancing in the sunlight, casting its shadow down on the earth that it once crawled on and allowing life to guide it to new heights and beautiful moments. No matter how short the life may be, this tiny creature experiences before our very eyes a multi-dimensional reality. It lives two lives in one, bringing with it the past life and all the nutrients it gained and fluidly developing that into a new more vibrant state of flow.
We too are caterpillars! Our purpose is to walk a path of transformation. To accelerate consciously the ever changing state of being. Life to life we consume more nutrients; we bring with us our past experiences, may they be good or bad does not matter to the soul. In soul each experience is just what it is suppose to be, a lesson, an activation. This constant state of reincarnation can only stop when the soul has grown to a point at which it no longer desires for rebirth.
“A major ‘Core Belief’ that affects all of your lives adversely is the belief in physical death.” – IXACA, Channeled by Verlaine Crawford (New Cells, New Bodies, New Life!)
Change is the only constant in life. Even what we refer to as death is nothing more than a change from one form to another, just like the caterpillar. Once we can embrace that death is part of life we may even happily run toward it. Wanting it to wash over us again and again. Each day we awaken to death. We experience a dark night of the soul. Our transformation of physical to ‘light being’ moves one step closer through the activation in conscious awareness by our inner vibratory initiations with grace, salvation and enlightenment. We become consciously closer to our goal. What is the goal?
To become like the Creator. Complete, Full, Illuminated with Love.
In this state we can achieve all! It is what we desire at our core, it is what God wants for us, and it is what is awaiting each of us and all of us as ONE.
“Life has no meaning. Each of us has meaning and we bring it to life. It is a waste to be asking the question when you are the answer.” – Joseph Campbell
But here we have the true issue of humankind. Oneness which is so sought after and desired by what seems like every soul on the planet yet not fully accepted. In all actuality it is being used against the rise of planetary vibration and transformation. We are being sold a false state of oneness from our governments and authorative figures. In the name of Oneness we are allowing our rights and liberties to be taken from us. Through the use of fear tactics, unseen shackles and the illusion that someone outside of ourselves is going to save us, take care of each of us and lead us to salvation we sheepishly remain blind. The truth of transformation and the healing of our planet will only come when WE are willing to see EVERYTHING. As one becomes more awake, one also discovers that there is more pressure to deal with the areas of our lives that we have been avoiding. These areas are our blind spots. Ego has carefully hidden them out of our sight. As Michael Berg states, “A person is able to see ALL flaws, except his own.”
Consciousness only has two choices in the evolution that is upon us: to join in with the flow or to resist the flow. In joining and proactively fighting the ONLY fight worth anything (the fight for Unconditional Love) great miracles can emerge upon our planet within this 3D illusion of life. Through consciously awakening, allowing ‘death’ per say to wash over us, we will discover a New Life in a higher consciousness. There are many beautiful, healing ideas forming and manifesting within our world. Crusaders walking the difficult path of their purpose; knowing that each person that they touch in love and assist on their journey of conscious rebirth thus too pushes ‘us as a whole’ toward the light. Our planet Earth which was at one point in time full of light has been through a struggle and has experienced the rule of Satan (Ego Consciousness or Desire for the Self- Alone), but now we are at the brink. We are transforming once again. There is not ONE individual that will not embark on this journey. The only decision we have for the self-alone is if we will accept this beautiful metamorphosis and willingly abandon fear, doubt, control, and all states of ego or continue to align our physical, mental and emotional bodies with selfishness, which will only bring into our state of reality chaos, pain and suffering.
“If our realization is not complete, it’s prone to be used by ego as a construct to hide behind, and as justification for lots of unenlightened behavior.” –Adyashanti, The End of Your World
Will YOU decide today to be the change you want to see in the world? Or will you cave to selfish fear, desire for the self-alone, doubt and the biggest illusion of all, Control over God?
View all photo’s from The Purpose of Humanity Naked Musing in my Ecstatic Studio
“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly, I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore.
Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears.
I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.
So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
Let me start by telling you a bit about me, I’m a shy person by nature and have spent my life giving to others. I love helping other people out so much that it has become what I do for a living. I manage a help desk helping customers and employees all day everyday. I also support or help support 4 different families in my personal life. So let me assure you I was not prepared for the precious moments with Kendal where this amazing, beautiful, loving woman focused entirely on me. Even from the first time I met her at our consultation I was relaxed and comfortable. She has a way of making you feel OK to just be yourself without expectations.
When I first arrived at her office I was tense with a lot of anxiety about our session, stepping into the sacred space she created it washed away almost instantly. We talked for a brief time which put me further at ease. She then invited me to place my hands on her Heart Chakra while she did the same to mine, the breathing exercises we did inspired a deep trust in her and that she really was interested in helping and healing me fully.
I have been diagnosed with Guillain-Barre Syndrome which makes any contact to my feet extremely painful. Which I was very nervous about since the next step in our session was a ceremonial foot bathing. I was pleasantly surprised at how warm and loving her touch was, at the slightest touch I felt as if my entire foot were surrounded by warm energy that soothed the pain and for the first time in 8 months my feet were not hurting. The energy felt like it extended a few inches off all sides of my feet and was warm, almost globular, it was like nothing else I have ever experienced.
At this point I stood again and she asked permission to remove my clothing she did so softly and with incredible grace. Once disrobed she invited me to lay face down while she checked my chakras. Even this was an experience worth having. Once she had the energy information she needed she worked on freeing up tense blocked energy spots through out my back, legs and feet. I’ve had my fair share of massages and I must say that the overwhelming intent to heal makes an amazing difference, it was the greatest massage I have ever gotten. Her hands worked with such love and skilled precision. She then asked if I would like to roll over onto my back, once comfortable again she worked on the energy of my chest, arms, legs, and feet again.
Just when I did not think I could get anymore out of the time with her, she asked if it would be ok if I rolled back over and she removed the drape that was over me. At this point the session got more sensual but not in the typical way you might think,
it was about love and caring not about lust and sex. If you have not experienced this type of compassion I can assure you that you are missing out on one of the greatest things we as humans can offer each other. As she was working in freeing up the flow of my energy through my entire body I sensed what I can only categorize as a burst of energy that filled the room and was impossible to ignore. I knew something had changed and it didn’t come from within me. As I lay there soaking in this new energy her upper body came in contact with me and I felt the warmth of her skin on my body. It drove me deeper into the sensations she was bringing out of me already. As the energy she was radiating and the energy welling up in me combined I fell a state of complete peace and acceptance.
She asked if I was ready to roll back over onto my back. She again skillfully, lovingly worked the energies in the room, both mine and hers to bring me to a new understanding of the being that I truly am. As she massaged my lingam I could feel the energy coalesce, building and building till I was almost on the verge of releasing it, just before I did; as if that energy was some physical substance she could capture in her hand and direct she motioned her fingers up the center of my chest making it radiate through out my entire being. I felt as if I could feel every tiny cell in my body and they were all electrified with my sexual energy. My body vibrated with new life and the only way I can think to describe it would have to be complete and total full body bliss! As this sensation started to dissipate (although it never completely did) she started it building again and once again as a true master of her arts she assisted me in letting it release thorough out my body once again. This time however I was overcome with it and my body literal started shaking with the pleasure. When I finally did release that energy from my being I was in total awe of not only her and her abilities but of the truly amazing energy I had just been shown that I have within me and always have. She finished our session with more body work to help calm the energy and ease me into a state of bliss.
If you are considering visiting with Kendal the best advise I could think to give you would be to go into it with an open heart and give yourself permission to relax and enjoy the time you have with this amazing, beautiful woman. Do not place yourself into a confined box, you may not have the same experience I had but if you are truly open to your session you will have the experience you need and I really do believe that.
In closing I would like to say; Kendal you are a beautiful, loving, and energetic soul and thank you from the bottom of my heart, I will never forget my first experience with tantra.
With love -John
Yoni Massage is a sacred ritual, an act of worship. It is an experience of healing, release, awakening, empowering, expansion and transcendence. And pleasure. Deep pleasure that is often a path to heightened states of consciousness that allows you to experience the unity of sexuality and spirituality.
Slow, so slow.
Gentle, so gentle.
From the heart. This is where the healing begins. Healing the hurts of the past, the abuse, the frustrations, the disappointments, the unfulfilled expectations. Tissue that should be alive, awake and so sensitive is numb, tender or painful. The Goddess Area is closed to pleasure.
An opening and a softening.
The release of so much, emotional, physical, psychological. Beliefs, limitations, withholds, lies, guilt, shame, embarrassment…
With the softening is the release of pain and the opening to pleasure. The pleasure that you know is yours by right. New sensations to discover, deeper, higher, sensitivity. Sensation and feeling that move from your yoni through your entire body, that expand your body, then expand your being. Body and heart connect. Body and soul connect. Then expand more, the boundaries melt, disappear. You merge with a stream of universal consciousness, universal pleasure. In this space so much becomes possible. You see with different eyes. You see so many truths of your life. You see the patterns, the reasons. You see the possibilities.
Yoni Massage is ancient healing, touching on aspects of anatomy, sexuality and energy that science is slowly catching up with through research. The healing impact of Yoni Massage is deep, touching so many aspects of your being. In a more direct way it is able to release tension leading to painful sex, awakens the G-spot, contributes to making orgasms during penetration possible, assists in dryness, helps raise libido, may have a balancing effect on hormones, frees and increases orgasmic potential, heightens sexual response, becomes a vehicle for sexual meditation, can be used as a manifestation tool…
Healing through pleasure is often a difficult concept to grasp because of the way we see pleasure, the context it’s ‘meant to happen in’. Yoni Massage as an experience of safety, a gift that is given in a sacred space can be life changing. As strange as it sounds, it’s often not a sexual experience in the way we generally think sex should be. It’s not about penetration, yet it’s making love, an gift of love that flows from the hands to your yoni. And for a moment, no matter how brief, you feel so beautiful, so loved, so honoured. As more women give themselves permission to experience this magic, so it becomes possible for more women to do so. As more women free themselves from the limiting beliefs that prevent the fullness of pleasure, so it becomes possible…
Possible for you…
This journey, this sensual journey, this Tantric journey is the journey of our life.
Shared by Practitioner/healer Jonti Searll
~ You would think that one would stop being amazed at the universal energies and how they manifest in our life, yet I swear, the smallest of things still make me smile in great awe of a child on Christmas morning. The other night I was meeting at Starbucks with an incredibly enlightened and gifted man. As we sat there I watched the sparkle of “the light energy” (god energy) dance in his eyes while we shared our tales of life and our growth. At one point he distanced his presence, focused on his phone, tapped a few keys, asked me what email he should send a story to and made it happen. Today, after a day of following the signs , breathing in the direction of 2012 and realizing I need a sail boat for the year of the water dragon (so that I can fully grasp my own personal exploration), I found a time to read what he had sent. Below is a copy of the story.
My amazement comes from the depth of connection I felt as I read the final few lines. Why the connection? It threw me back to being a child of 4 years or so sitting on the toilet in my family home bathroom that was being renovated. LOL Funny thing, but as a small child I found great guidance coming from the conversations I would have with my “imaginary friend” who always shared stories and what seemed as wisdom to me while I took care of my business. The ending of this story The Egg, was one such tale that was a running theme coming from my “Imaginary friend,” Seth.
I hope you enjoy the tale and look forward to hearing your feedback and thoughts/opinions on it. Namaste’ ~
By: Andy Weir
“Wildy surreal landscape by Vladimir Kush. “
You were on your way home when you died.
It was a car accident. Nothingparticularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and twochildren. It was a painless death. The EMTs triedtheir best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered youwere better off, trust me.
And that’s when you met me.
“What… what happened?” You asked.“Where am I?”
“You died,” I said,matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.
“There was a… a truck and it wasskidding…”
“Yup,” I said.
“I… I died?”
“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it.Everyone dies,” I said.
You looked around. There wasnothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this theafterlife?”
“More or less,” I said.
“Are you god?” You asked.
“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”
“My kids… my wife,” you said.
“What about them?”
“Will they be all right?”
“That’s what I like to see,” Isaid. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s goodstuff right there.”
You looked at me with fascination.To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly awoman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacherthan the almighty.
“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll befine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t havetime to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will besecretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s anyconsolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”
“Oh,” you said. “So what happensnow? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”
“Neither,” I said. “You’ll bereincarnated.”
“Ah,” you said. “So the Hinduswere right,”
“All religions are right in theirown way,” I said. “Walk with me.”
You followed along as we strodethrough the void. “Where are we going?”
“Nowhere in particular,” I said.“It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”
“So what’s the point, then?” Youasked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all myexperiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”
“Not so!” I said. “You have withinyou all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’tremember them right now.”
I stopped walking and took you bythe shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than youcan possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what youare. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot orcold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring itback out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.
“You’ve been in a human for thelast 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of yourimmense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d startremembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.”
“How many times have I beenreincarnated, then?”
“Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in tolots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinesepeasant girl in 540 AD.”
“Wait, what?” You stammered.“You’re sending me back in time?”
“Well, I guess technically. Time,as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I comefrom.”
“Where you come from?” You said.
“Oh sure,” I explained “I comefrom somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’llwant to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”
“Oh,” you said, a little let down.“But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could haveinteracted with myself at some point.”
“Sure. Happens all the time. Andwith both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’shappening.”
“So what’s the point of it all?”
“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously?You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”
“Well it’s a reasonable question,”you persisted.
I looked you in the eye. “Themeaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”
“You mean mankind? You want us tomature?”
“No, just you. I made this wholeuniverse for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a largerand greater intellect.”
“Just me? What about everyone else?”
“There is no one else,” I said.“In this universe, there’s just you and me.”
You stared blankly at me. “But allthe people on earth…”
“All you. Different incarnationsof you.”
“Wait. I’m everyone!?”
“Now you’re getting it,” I said,with a congratulatory slap on the back.
“I’m every human being who everlived?”
“Or who will ever live, yes.”
“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”
“And you’re John Wilkes Booth,too,” I added.
“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.
“And you’re the millions hekilled.”
“And you’re everyone who followedhim.”
You fell silent.
“Every time you victimizedsomeone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’vedone, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced byany human was, or will be, experienced by you.”
You thought for a long time.
“Why?” You asked me. “Why do allthis?”
“Because someday, you will becomelike me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”
“Whoa,” you said, incredulous.“You mean I’m a god?”
“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus.You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time,you will have grown enough to be born.”
“So the whole universe,” you said,“it’s just…”
“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’stime for you to move on to your next life.”
And I sent you on your way.
Image from Lightworkers.org
When I booked what was to be my fifth massage with Kendal, she asked me what kind of session I was interested in receiving. I asked for her recommendation, adding that I was open to creativity. I had never been previously disappointed with Kendal’s services, in fact, quite the opposite. She had always far surpassed my expectations. Knowing she possesses an unusually creative mind, I felt sure she would have something special planned for me.
As is normally the case before arriving at my sessions, the anticipation of being under the care of Kendal’s skillful hands is one of my most favorite things to look forward to. I arrived and entered her session room and, as my eyes adjusted to the peaceful candlelit darkness in the room, was received with a warm smile, a sincere hug and pleasant conversation. Kendal works hard to create an inviting sense of well being from the very start.
I looked around the room and noticed the usual massage table was missing and in its place saw a thick sheet-covered mat on the floor. We spent a few quiet minutes talking about everyday life. She then told me that she would like to give me a Thai-Tantra Bodywork session. I have learned to surrender myself to Kendal’s plans for me – she always seems to be in tune with my spirit. She then came face-to-face with me and took my hands in hers and laid them on her chest. She asked me to take seven deep breaths while she checked my chakra with her hands, noticing those areas of my body that might need special care or muscles that seemed tight. Just the experience of breathing deep relaxed me immensely. Feeling her energy close to mine brought a sense of calm that was instantly comforting.
She removed my clothes and asked me to do likewise with her clothing. She then instructed me to sit down with her on the mat. Facing me, she draped her legs over mine and leaned into me asking me to again take several deep breaths. This was the beginning of my transformation. In an instant I was one with her in intimacy, skin to skin – not so much sexually at this point – but feeling a closeness that was nurturing and wholesome. As we sat together in silence, I could smell her skin and feel her breath as her hands gently glided over my body.
After several minutes in this position, she moved behind me and leaned back against a pillow at the base of the wall. She then asked me to lie back and put my entire weight against her warm body. My form melted into hers as her soft hands caressed my shoulders, stomach, arms and face from behind. I couldn’t help but continue to take deep breaths since it seemed natural in this peaceful and loving position. I remember resigning any shyness or hesitancy to Kendal’s loving embraces and caresses.
Completely at peace, I could have remained with her in this position, but after several minutes was asked to lie on the mat choosing either face down for face up. I chose face down. Kendal moved the bowl of hot coconut oil close to the mat and I lay down completely relaxed and ready to receive her loving attention.
The instant Kendal’s magic hands dipped into the hot oil and dripped it onto my skin I was in rapture. She was sitting to one side on the mat as her hands firmly glided up my back to my neck and shoulders and down my arms to the tips of my fingers and back again. Cupping more hot oil in her hands she massaged my buttocks, working down my legs to my feet and toes. Kendal’s entire body moved in tandem with her hands allowing her long blonde hair to occasionally brush over me – a sensation that I found incredibly sensuous. By this point, every nerve in my skin was alive, every muscle met with perfect pressure. Because the mat was on the floor Kendal easily moved to any position over me where she could best perform her magic.
I was reminded that she too was naked when parts of Kendal’s body – her arms, breasts, thighs, legs and stomach gently connected and slid over my body. Still on my stomach, she used her strong, sensitive hands to work the muscles of my inner thighs causing me to become immediately aroused. Just when I thought it was not possible to feel any more connected with her, she slid her oiled body completely on top of mine and lay quietly with me for a minute or so. I remember being overcome with peace and, at the same time, intense desire.
She worked her fingers around my buttocks, along my perineum and into the delicate folds of my scrotum, reaching under me and between my legs to slide her hand up the front of my groin teasing my lingam and heightening my arousal to new levels. She then asked me to turn over and lie on my back.
I placed my head on a pillow as she poured hot oil onto my body and, using her sensitive hands and strong forearms, skillfully concentrated on particular muscles. By now I was fully aroused. Occasionally, her fingers, or hair would lightly brush my lingam sending electricity through my entire body. When she had carefully attended to every part – neck, chest stomach, thighs, calves and feet – she poured hot oil directly on my lingam and scrotum and began the most delicious sensual massage I have ever experienced. I could see her beautiful form in the subtle candlelight as she focused on my total arousal and pleasure, bringing me several times to the brink of ejaculation only to move her hands away to rub my chest and legs – prolonging my ecstasy.
Finally, I gave in to her skillful caresses and exploded with a force uncommon to me. I recall telling Kendal afterwards as I lay on her mat how amazing she is and that I couldn’t remember feeling so completely relaxed. Even after ejaculation, Kendal continued to gently massage me from head to toe as we talked about this incredible experience and the heightened awareness she created using my own sensuality. After about 10 minutes, she wrapped the sheet around me and carefully absorbed the massage oils. Even this was an act of love. Loving is a good word to describe Kendal. What she does is so much more than sensual – it is healing, nurturing and giving.
She dressed me and got herself dressed. Before I left, I embraced her for about 20 seconds, one of my favorite parts of the experience, and reluctantly stepped out of her room back into my bright world with a sense of satisfaction that is hard to describe – already thinking about scheduling my next session. Once again, I am filled with anticipation.
***Notes from Kendal:
This session is for qualifying Extraordinary Gentlemen ONLY. There are no sexual connections happening or mutual touching. This is a very deep interspective expereince for the client where he may touch his inner child, feel nurtured and unconditionally loved while at the same time expereince internal desires and passions awakening as he learns to release emotional and psychological blockages that might be negatively effecting his life in a multitude of ways. This session is also not always done with the practitioner being nude.