Is it Christmas yet? A love story.

WOW!!!! I cannot believe how quickly this year has gone by. So many amazing adventures and beautiful people have shared this year with me. This next week is Thanksgiving, there are already Christmas tree’s up in the stores, lights being lit all around town and Christmas music occasionally playing here and there. Mother nature occasionally is letting us feel the comforts of the season, although here in Texas she takes too many med’s or maybe not enough and seem’s a little manic.

Doesn’t matter….

I love this time of the year, fall might even be my favorite. The other day I was on Facebook and some memories came popping up showing me what I was doing this time last year. My heart swelled with love and joy at seeing all the incredible moments that I had then. Suddenly I found myself wishing to drift back to those moments and linger there.  This year I have committed to stay home for the holidays and make it a working season in preparation for all the marvelous adventures of 2018.

Looking back on the last twelve months though I realized the journey that I have been on is one that has been loaded with blessings. Even in some of the shadowy moments I felt great rapture and transformation at a core level.  The year has had so much turbulence but with it great accomplishment.

So let me share my tale with you if you will….

Just over a year ago this new journey began, I was on a last minute hiking and horse backing riding trip to Spirit Lake in Kentucky with my lover.  The extended weekend was fabulous in every way from taking in the sites of chimney rock, the natural bridge, angels arch to horse back riding on Jack a horse that I am convinced had smoked some MaryJane.  We toured Claiborne, Secretariat’s Ranch and went to the Lexington Races, enjoyed some hippie pizza out in the middle of no where, raced on a zipline and went on a driving tour of the historical sites such as Transylvania University. However even with ALL this adventure my favorite moments were spent in the cave we discovered on the back side of the property of our cabin. Wine, camp fire and love making under the stars. Now that is orgasmic.

This unexpected trip to Kentucky was perhaps one of my favorite trips of all time. I had no expectation going in. I could not even believe that I had agreed to go on this trip, thinking what is in Kentucky anyway? LOL – WOW!!! I discovered more than what I ever could have imagined and what I am speaking of has nothing to do with everything that I just shared.

Kentucky opened my heart and soul at new level to my lover and to G-d. We had traveled before together, enjoyed beautiful destinations such as Costa Rica, but this trip, this trip we went deeper, we laughed harder, we became raw with each other spiritually as well as emotionally. It was fucking AMAZING!

We followed this trip up with New York in December where we enjoyed Broadway, Central Park, The Tavern on the Green who makes an incredible cocktail I wish I knew the name of, lots of tours, the empire state building, statue of liberty, Rockefeller Center and Tree Lighting, Sojo, the 9/11 memorial, the MET, and some simply yummy foods.

From there we found ourselves at Christmas back home! Carriage rides, plays and fine dining. Love making on a golf course and in front of the fire in the living room. Laughter, joy, play, adventure and opening…. I took my family on a cruise to Mexico to swim with dolphins, see the great wonders of Chichén Itzá, drink too much tequila and enjoy the beauty of this earth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2017 began and I found myself on a girls trip to Punta Cana with a dear friend where we enjoyed the beaches and the breath taking night sky, hardly ever wanted to leave our private villa, went ziplining, drank too much rum and danced under the night sky and enjoyed our fierce female friendship.

 

 

 

February rolled around and my lover surprised me with a trip to Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds in Riviera Maya on the beach for three days. Oh my! That crazy, crazy man how he knows just what to do.  Three days on the east coast of Mexico hiking Coba, swimming with sea turtles, enjoying all the tropical waters and fish as well as the cenotes.  But we were not done with Mexico yet!

 

 

From here we flew to Cabo where we stayed a few days and did whale watching at Neptunes Finger, ziplined through a very hot canyon, toured the Sea of Cortez and ate too much.

 

 

 

 

 

The year was still young and as soon as this adventure was done we found ourselves a few short months later off to a surprise trip to Laguna Beach. Telling me that we were going to go hiking in the Texas Hill Country I packed for such. The morning of the trip came and he picked me up and drove me not to Austin but the the airport where he asked the TSA agents if they would pass me through everything with him holding my ticket so that I would not know till last minute where I was actually going. Guess what? I have NEVER been through security so fast and with such sweetness from TSA. We arrived in California a few short hours later and spent the day driving with the top down enjoying the the California sun.  The trip was filled with laughter, joy and love. Playing like big kids at Disneyland, shopping and dining on the streets of Laguna Beach, a sunset cruise from Dana Point and a massage and art buying after  a ferry ride on Catalina Island. Love making on the balcony over looking the ocean and snuggling by the outside fire of the Montage for sunset. Possibly my second favorite trip…..

Okay, no Dave Matthews still win’s…

At our return to Texas we found ourselves walking into a turbulent, painful summer. A summer that would change our worlds.

We could have never expected what the next few days would bring let along the next few months and the rest of the year.

I am a deeply spiritual person and I believe that the spiritual strength that we both have, needed to be revealed. This next chapter of our relationship would mean for us to part ways for an unknown time frame. Years of love, years of connection, trust, depth , play, adventure, soul raptureing moments came to a sudden halt when G-d called on us both. My lover went to a funeral and was seen by a woman whom he greatly respects , she shared a message with him that was short, “God wants you to get on your path. He is giving you three days.” – Now when one hears a message like this, one listens. Or so I hope they do.

He did.

I found myself in a place of support and distance. Feeling nervous.  Quickly the universe side tracked me with my own chaos of family. My aging mother found herself needing 24/7 care for the onset of Dementia.  Me being her only support. My entire summer was spent dealing with state issues, finding a residence for her, figuring out how to make it all work while my lover found himself moving down a path of solitude to reconnect and center himself with the creator again.  In August we made a commitment to each other that we would hold true to our paths and let G-d lead us. We swore to see each other on the other side of this solo-journey of the rebirthing of the soul. There was no fighting but there were tears.

And there are daily tears, still.

It is funny, one would think that after four months of not seeing each other or speaking, only a few short texts to exchange a brief message here and there every few weeks as to say, ” I am still alive,” that one would feel ever so distant from the other. The lesson that has now been embossed into every cell of my being is just the opposite.

At every corner of this journey I have had certainty. When I look back through the years of loving, I see all the opportunities we each had to turn away from each other but chose instead to love deeper and stand in the fires of life stronger. When I look at the years together and all that has happened between us and each of our lives I am certain that our love is unique. It is truly authentic and real. The things that we have seen, experienced and asked of each other have pushed us in many ways. Some may perceive some of our adventures in life as crazy stupid, painful, sinful even.  But here is the thing….

I am lifted up by the love I have…

The love I share…

The love that will never die…

And I still hold on, NOT to him, not even to  the love.

I hold on to my certainty that G-d has my back.

And those who have certainty, can wait with ease.

I am waiting, Christmas will come again.

 

 

This is the shit that scares you the most! And it is BULLSHIT.

“LET’S TALK ABOUT THE THING. WHICH YOU’VE BEEN IGNORING. AND IT’S TIME, TO DO, NOW.

 

Can we talk about this? The thing that you’ve been ignoring, pretending you don’t know about, refusing to tune into, as you cover your ears and close your eyes and scrunch up your face and INSIST-
That there’s not a thing, there never WAS a thing, you know NOTHING about the thing and you’re actually taking FUCKLOADS of impressive action, thank you very much, so who the hell is mentioning a thing?
Yeppppp –
THAT thing.
Come on now… no need to get upset, or sigh, or act so weary about it. I KNOW you freaking WANT to talk about it!!!! I know you’re actually DESPERATE to do so, but not just to talk, but scream, and shout, and let it all the way out. You want to bathe in it, bask in it, you want to BE it, you want to eat it and breathe it and rub it all over you.” – Kat Lorenzo
That thing which you know you WANT!
That thing that you spoke about way back when when you found the courage to reach out and do and proclaim to the Universe and G-d that you wanted something better for your life, something better for your relationships, your love and YOUR SEX!
Yepppppp –
THAT thing.
I find that once we take action and reach out to get the help that we need in our healing and transformation that life starts to move and we experience more chaos, more fear, and YES more excuses as to why we should not, cannot do THAT THING.
OR…
Life say’s YOU don’t REALLY need help achieving these desires.  No, you got this on your own.
If that were true then you would have had it a long fucking ass time ago and things would not have brought you into the idea of reaching out for assistance about it to begin with.  You would NOT even be reading this right now.
But that is not the case…

IS IT?

So when are you going to take action?
When are you going to make YOURSELF priority in your life and not just “HOPE” that you got this thing but actually do what is needed to get you this THING?
I know, you don’t have:
  • the time
  • the money
  • the energy
  • the support
BULLSHIT!
I have said this myself so many times about so many valuable things and looking back I see how those were nothing more than excuses supporting my fear and supporting me to stay put right where I was at.
Where I DID NOT want to be. 
When I made up my mind to make myself a priority and to have the life that I wanted, the excuses turned into brainstorms of how I could make it work. I called out and asked for the support that I needed. I asked for the help to find the time, the money, the energy and the support needed from those around me.
I can tell you that making the commitment is the hardest part of the starting line.
Then sticking to your commitment is the next hardest part. Everything is going to get in your way.
Here is the thing, ” In order to have what you want, you have to make the familiar unfamiliar and the unfamiliar, familiar.” 
 
Did you get that?
 
Read it again.
 
Are you willing to do this though or are you one of the average and ordinary folks who just allow life to take them where ever and believe that in not making a choice, a commitment that you are “going with the flow” and allowing the universe to lead you?
 
Commitment breeds success!
You have sent out your desires, needs and hopes with the Universe. Your heart holds them. Your soul craves them. 
You might even be doing some of the things needed to achieve this thing: 
  • Meditation
  • Journaling
  • Reading
  • Positive Thinking and speaking
  • NLP work
  • Practicing Gratitude
  • Practicing some form of conscious touch or work
  • Eating higher vibration foods
  • Exercising
  • Writing down your goals
  • Sticking to the agenda to achieve these goals
  • Getting your “O” on even.
  • And so much more.

But how certain are you that your desired Fuck YES! Life is there waiting on you? And why the hell are you making it wait on you?

 

This is like saying, ” I am waiting for my ship to come in.” – Don’t fucking wait on your ship or on that relationship, the job, the house, the travel, the health or anything else. Swim out and get it!

Otherwise you might as well just accept that you are choosing to vanish off the planet without ever achieving your desires.

And this is not G-d’s wish. It is not the Universes wish. 
YOU my sweet reader were created for greatness!
YOU my  sweet reader were created to live out loud, on purpose and full of life!
YOU were created for a Fuck YES! Life.
It is here waiting for you.
But, there is ONE minor problem.
You are too scared to go after it.
Which means that you don’t really want it, because you think it is too big of a risk to get. You believe that what everyone in your life has told you up to this point about how your not:
  • smart enough
  • worthy enough
  • pretty enough’healthy enough
  • lucky enough

Or whatever the fuck else they have said is YOUR TRUTH.

BULLSHIT!!!!

If you slow down enough to analyze what real risk is you will find out that the biggest risk in life is not LIVING.
Not living CONSCIOUSLY.
Not living on PURPOSE.
Not living ORGASMICALLY.

“The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live.” – Leo Buscaglia

 

You know what though? You cannot ever avoid sorrow and suffering.

Ask yourself if NOT living up to your greatness in ALL WAYS possible is a comfort that is worth the sacrifice of the life that G-d/Universe designed and desires you to have?

Does this mediocre but comfortable way of being make you happy?

If you answer yes then…
Okay, you don’t want it.
So STOP reading this post.
STOP attempting to act like you want it or that you want change.
Get real with yourself.
Be authentic.
Whether you play small or big in life, just choose and LIVE IT!
But here is the thing…. 

YOU Still deserve that Fuck YES Life.

I wish you believed in you the way I believe you.

-KW

A Need for Connection

neednudeFor anyone that I work with face to face, you know that I have a white board in my office where I update according to what spirit guides to share and leave special quotes and thoughts, questions on this board for all my beautiful peep’s to explore internally. Recently one of my statements was, ” We connect through our drama.” This statement caught some attention and caused a few people to question if this was accurate or if they felt other wise. In my coaching I do many coaching calls with people all over the place and one of my dear clients I was speaking with brought out a comment from me that I felt pertinent to share here as well as further thought on it.
The comment from me was: “Through looking for approval we also gain connection.”
This comment seems to being hanging out in my practice right now. It keeps coming up with so many people. The questions/thought that follow it are:
  • Is asking for approval needy?
  • If this is so then this is why I don’t do it as much when I am feeling confident and centered in myself.
  • But when I have confidence and don’t need approval or opinions from others then is this disconnect?
  • So what is the best chosen path: disconnection or looking for connection through approval? How do they each benefit me?
Yes looking for approval and opinion is connection based. Is this needy?
It can be, but not always. We as human beings need connection for basic survival and health. Our psyche’s health depends on connection. For the same reason we create drama in our lives – which is another connection based activity- we also look for approval, insight, opinion. We as well down play our greatness or blessings and we build up our trauma or pain. These are tools of connection.
What you have to truly look at is what sort of connection are you desiring?
There are many levels of connection.
For the most part many people say they want a deep connection and to be authentically seen but if given the opportunity to have this they become scared and sabotage it through ego based relating. The majority of relationships, may they be friendships, work or intimate, even marriages and with children are surface connections. To authentically relate and allow yourself to be seen and felt as well as remain open to seeing and feeling another at this level is an incredibly hard space to stand in. Yet is a desire for most.
Permission is only needed from ourselves for ourselves.
Confidence is something that only serves us if we are acting from our heart space, our soul. If we are in ego then confidence will disconnect us and actually come across as cockiness. A confident person is not a disconnected person. A confident person is someone willing to open themselves up and be seen, be felt, be human. They are comfortable asking for what they need, desire and they are also comfortable with hearing another’s authentic answer even if it means that the other is not good with giving what has been asked. Confidence is courage. Courage to see ones ego. Courage to make mistakes and ask questions. Courage to face the reality that our old programs will always pop up to haunt us and the only thing we can do is get better at seeing them and then acting differently. Courage to love ourselves just as we are and forgive ourselves for our past’s. Courage to embrace those that frustrate, hurt, anger or sadden us and realize that some where in our past we too have been guilty of doing the same in a similar energy, therefore there is no need to try and change where another is but just accept that their path is what it is as ours is as well.
The only way we disconnect is to shut ourselves down from the beauty of opening up.
When we choose openness and love we choose connection. First with ourselves (as the relationship we have with self is the set-point for all other relationships) and then with those in our lives.
So what is the best path? The best path is the one you are on. The best path is to learn to love and fully accept yourself in all your humanness. This is the ONLY path and you are never off of it, it is always with you and you will be traveling it even when you feel you are lost.
–KW
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Feeling like you could use direction, guidance, support or opening to your authentic self?
So here is where more than my Naked Musings come into play! How can I help you be the best you that YOU desire and crave Living that Fuck Yes Life that you know at your core is waiting for you but scares the hell out of you? Reach out to me to explore one of my Orgasm Coaching Programs for men, women and couples or email me (tantrictransformation@gmail.com) about getting on the waiting list for the VIP Fuck Yes to Life Coaching that is coming this Fall 2016!

Sexuality & Tantra (AKA – The Art of Living Fully)

shivashakti

Often I am asked “What is Tantra?” my answer to this question is – “Tantra is everything!”

But that answer is often to simple yet complex for many people to truly grasp what I am saying. So I have decided to take a moment and share what I mean in this statement of “tantra is everything.”

Tantra is about weaving together all parts of our life. That is why when we teachers/practitioners speak about improving our sexuality and sex lives that we also say that this will affect all other areas of our lives such as our relationships with our parents, siblings, children, co-workers and anyone who walks into our lives. Yet Tantra is NOT about sex alone. Matter a fact if you truly studied tantra and the teachings of the Dali Lama on the matter you would discover that sex is only about 5% to 10% at best of Tantra.

Why does sex get focused on then when we speak about Tantra?

There are a few reasons for this.

1. Sex sells! – Now I know that many of my fellow teachers out there just cringed at me saying this, but I am a realist in many ways and the facts are the facts. Sex is sexy. Sex is captivating and interesting. Sex is something we all desire more of and we are all under educated in. Sex is something that we know at our core is good for us for more reasons then procreation. Sex sells because it turns us on at our deepest levels. It always has and it always will.
2. Sex is normally the final frontier to tackle for even the most spiritual, self-growth focused, courageous, driven soul out there. And it is the one that is most interconnected to every aspect of our lives and to the world in general. Our sexing affects everything. That is why we focus on sexuality when we speak Tantra. Tantra in this area is about making our sex conscious.

Now this may seem different then what you were expecting. Hopefully it is comforting to know that Tantra and sex are NOT about prostitution (although those in this line of work who understand certain groundwork, certainly are sexual healers and not just working to make a quick buck so someone else can relieve some stress). Tantra does not make use of our sexuality so that one can experience a hot “body to body rub” either. Tantra makes use of our sexuality because through our sexing we create or lives. We create the structures of our futures. We manifest our desires, dreams and goals. We learn to face our shadows as well as our light and we learn how to fully love, accept and live in gratitude. Through our sexing we learn the importance of Living Fully, and this is Tantra.

This is why you will hear me speak about Gourmet Sexing verses Fast Food Sexing.

Gourmet sexing is a spiritual practice of deep love and acceptance. Not only of our partner but of ourselves and of all of life.

Gourmet sexing is healing. It can help us to release past programs, trauma and suffering. It can be the creative spark that changes everything and helps us to transform our very existence. Through gourmet sexing we find peace and bliss. This is Conscious Sex!

Fast food sexing is all about using ourselves or another for stress release or power. It is about controlling another. It is about quick fixes, disconnectedness, limited to no intimacy and remaining unconscious to all our levels of being. Fast food sexing is a short circuit to living fully. It prevents us from ever achieving the beauty, connection and authentic loving that we so desire. It disenables us from our true power and thus from bliss.

Perhaps these terms will help you to understand a bit better the significant role that sex plays on our lives and that through the art of Tantra we can achieve what we all desire. A live lived well and full. A life of appreciation, love, acceptance, honor and conscious bliss.

So what is Tantra?

Tantra is the Art of Living Life Fully!

Now the only question is. “Will you accept the journey of conscious living?”

I sure hope so because you my friend ARE WORTH IT!!!!

–KW

Number 1 Key to a Life of Bliss

blissboat-1quote

 

Love Yourself Like Your Life Depended On It.

This year is so different then any other for my family and myself, It is hard for me to comprehend even that I don’t have to make a turkey or sides and there is no fancy themed menu planning. Instead I am blessed this year with my beautiful daughter and her man who are hosting and taking care of all of us plus his family. Looking in from the window of experience and life into their world I find myself smiling often at the lessons and experiences that they go through as a young couple. I see the fears, the trauma, the healing, the joy and the hopefulness. I see the self imposed restrictions and the child like awe. It is a beautiful thing to watch and to support.

2015 has been a year that has me counting many blessings. There has been a massive amount of growth for myself, my lovers, my children, my clients and friends. It is a daily event (designed that way BTW, because keeping gratitude at the fore front of our life is a practice that keeps us drawing in more things to be grateful for) for me to run through my list of joy and gratitude. I recall the years gone by that I use to not do this fundamental practice of bliss. Back then I lead a life of misery, pain, suffering, depression, fear, anxiety and just shear blahhhh. Until about 7 years ago now, I discovered the magic of gratitude. I decided that maybe if I turned my focus on the things that were a blessing and really did start counting them that I would at the very least be reminded that there was always something positive in life, no matter how hard the storm clouds hit. SO there I was, a stay at home mother of 5 children, our house had been foreclosed on, my husband was jobless and lost on his path, we were fighting and drinking to much, the light in our eyes and in our children’s was becoming dimmer by the second. Ego was running a muck and on top of it if and when we had sex it was slam bam with no thank you mam but instead the development of a yeast infection, bladder infection or worse the Chrone’s that I had taken on would flare up. Living like this made me internally angry at life. I blamed everyone and everything. Feeling like I was never good enough, strong enough, smart enough, pretty enough. I had myself convinced that I was a piss poor mother and my kids would be better off with someone else. I looked in the mirror and wanted to scream. I hated my reflection. I would actually vocalize my hate to myself by picking on the fine lines I saw, the flabby tummy, the grey hair I would find, the sadness in my eyes, the little crookedness to my lips or the fact that my eye’s are not perfectly the same. Anything that was human I hated on.

The more I hated on my humanness the deeper into the turbulence and depression I crept. It was not until I flipped the the switch and started to appreciate and like even love my humanness AKA myself ,that I found the courage and strength to take care of myself and do the things that were required for me to support the life that I desired at my core.

Once I did this life became more vibrant. But how did I flip the switch?

GRATITUDE

That is all I did! I started to find things on a daily scale to be thankful for. At first I looked outward and found my thankfulness in my children’s health, in the fact that I did have a roof even if temporary over my head, I had food on the table, I had clothes to wear and my favorite one then and now still is I have opportunity. From there I slowly played with gratitude for things about myself such as I love reading. I am a good cook, and so on and so forth. The list grew until one day I was telling myself that I was a goddess and I was blessed with love and joy. Today my daily gratitudes still have my children’s health and the roof over my head, the air in my lungs, my cozy down feather comforter and pillows but they also include my dynamic relationships, orgasmic sex, full of soul love affairs and empowered clients. Today I look out and I see more opportunity then not and I see a life that manifests luck and a state of bliss instead of suffering and shut down. And here are the incredible things that I have noticed on a physical level from focusing on counting my blessings:

I am stronger and more of life
I see and experience more opportunity
I feel younger and more in awe of life.
I don’t look my age.
My health and metabolism are better.
Money and abundance flows more effortlessly.
I am multi-orgasmic
I have deeper connection in my relationships.
I have more profound loving moments.
I see growth and opportunity where I once saw fear and anxiety.
I truly am on a path of learning how to better love and respect myself.
I support my needs instead of looking for someone else to fill the gap within my own being.
I am content and happy being alone with myself.
I am more creative and free flowing.
I catch my ego more.
I love myself instead of shame myself.
I allow, expect and even find humor in my humanness.
I know without a doubt I AM BLESSED and I deserve it!
I expect and look for miracles.

So on this day of gratitude in the USA take a moment to not just have outward gratitude for the men and women who have fought and given their lives but for the man or woman who is staring back at you in the mirror and accepts the challenge of courageously facing fears, opening up their love center and exploring this glorious thing called life. If you feel like this is not you then all the more reason to pause and analyze the TRUTH.

If you chose to open your eye’s this morning and put your feet on the floor, if you chose to breathe in the air of this morning and take a step forward (even if that was toward the bathroom) then you are showing great courage and willingness to embrace risk and challenges. This life of ours has no guarantee’s. We are offered no more then we are willing to put forth and to give.

Today allow yourself to be gentle with yourself, realize that you are plagued with this disease that everyone else on the planet has as well, HUMANNESS.

And Gosh Dang It, Its a pretty fucking awesome disease too!
You are the creator of your destiny, but the blissed out life and journey ONLY come from learning to be grateful for and Loving YOURSELF.

Happy Thanksgiving and TODAY start your path with this commitment:

Love Yourself Like Your Life Depended On It.

–KW

4 Tip’s to Create Your Own Joy Ride in Your Sexual Pleasure

joyride

“I smiled to myself as our car ate up the highway in front of us. The trip had promised and delivered! We had time for serious conversation, sharing funny stories, exploring our thoughts and feelings, even discussing work. The objective for the trip had been met, complete with work, play, sex, and connection with many. 

As I sat in the car on that sunny afternoon, I felt free. My heart was light, happy and playful. As music played from the radio, I turned so that I could face him in the driver’s seat, and admired every detail of his body. I allowed my gaze to take in every drop of him, from the sexy sunglasses covering those eyes that had faced me through many kisses and moments of steamy sex, ears that had received whispered secrets, dark curly hair that I loved to lace my fingers through, and those lips! Those full succulent lips that I liked to tease with my tongue! At this point in my game of observation, I could feel heat beginning to well up in my core, moving upward into my chest. My heart was beginning to beat just a bit faster as my mind began to wander with delicious thoughts about this man that was so close to me that I could just reach out my hand and touch him. But I refrained. I wanted to continue my very slow observation and take in every single part of him…with only my eyes!

Next were his shoulders, firm and muscular, tapering down his ripped body visible through the tight-fitting shirt. His arms, toned and browned from the sun, were relaxed and extended. In that moment, I closed my eyes and could imagine those long curved hands reaching around me and moving along my body. Yes! It was beginning to get a bit warm in the car on this autumn day! I returned to my game, allowing my gaze to settle on his lap. I followed his hips and legs with my vision, knowing that underneath the faded, soft denim were long lean legs, and nestled between was his gorgeous manhood! Immediately, I could feel the signs of my mind and body being turned on, alert and ready! I felt my skin flushing and tingling, heart beating harder and faster, and thoughts of touching this man stopped my game of only observing. I slowly moved my hand to his thigh, and began to rub his leg. His attention and desire responded immediately, and I allowed my hand to explore any part of his body that I could reach from the passenger seat. His hand came across to meet my body, but I gently returned it to the steering wheel. I wanted to play with my rules for now! For what seemed like forever was actually only about 20 minutes! I had full access to his clothed body and used my hand to explore every inch. 

As desire became stronger, I slowly released his belt, and the opening to his jeans. At this point, I allowed his hand to find contact with my body, and he slowly and meticulously found his way to the damp, warm place between my legs, under the edge of my skirt. And this play continued for the remainder of the journey home, a slow, steady build of desire and yearning to physically join these bodies. A dance developed, of the rise and fall as we stroked and played each other up a mountain, without going over the top, and retreating for a plateau of rest. At some point, we were unable to speak aloud anymore. The air in the car became thick with tension begging to be released. 

As we arrived back home, and the car came to a complete stop, our bodies turned and joined with one of the most sensual make-outs I can ever remember having! The console to the car kept our union limited to mouths and hands, still a steamy exploration of each other! As we got out of the car, and began to gather bags and various items from the trunk, I heard a whisper coming from behind me, followed by the feel of his full body, pressing firmly into mine. We had arrived. “

Have you ever wished for more fun in your life?
Have you ever wondered how you ended up doing all these mundane boring tasks?

There is a better way!
Life is meant to be enjoyed to the fullest.

How can you find this playful spot in the nooks and crannies of your everyday life?

1. Adopt the attitude! Believe it can happen. The first step to manifesting any destination is having a belief in that I can attitude.
2. Request the results!
There is power in the spoken word. When you speak your desire not only are you allowing the universe to hear it, but you are also naming it and owning it for yourself.
3. Vary the view!
We’ve all heard the phrase there are two sides to every story. Or remember the tried-and-true the half glass can be half empty or half full? Change your perspective. A small variation in how you see a task or a situation or an unexpected bump in the road, can make all the difference.
4. Prioritize the possibilities!
We’ve all experienced the list of things to do that is longer than the time we have in any given day. By consciously choosing the things in our lives that can be done within the given parameters with joy, we are giving ourselves permission to play. Owning in the responsibility for our own happiness…

Noticing how we can give and receive pleasure in the every day ordinary spots in our lives, is the key to incorporating orgasm through our bodies and our minds and our lives and the people we touch!

About the Author Carmen Phillips

Why Adventure Sex and Fantasies Can Improve Your Intimacy

fantasy sexWhen we learn to share this intimate aspect of ourselves then there is no more reason to hide any part of our beings from our partners. In this we discover true intimacy and commitment. We embrace unconditional love and live authentically. –KW

A cool breeze whipped under my skirt as I straddled his cock. Slipping one leg around him and between the back of the bench and the seat, gently moving my hips down as to press him into my wetness, my skirt falling to the side, cars passing by, bird chirping, water rippling and a possible on looker from one of the surrounding apartment or business buildings all made for our afternoon adventure. With each thrust my body hungered to feel him deeper, his pleasure of my exhibition, his joy of the freedom of fucking me softly in public, and the tremble of excitement of possibly being seen, all deepening our intimacy, our connection and passion. In one deep breath he picked me up and laid me back on the cold bench, where I was fully exposed for all to see and for him to take more fully as well. Thrusting himself into me over and over again our heat burned and we had to take our escapade to more private domains.

Some PDA (public display of affection) this had turned into.

Not so uncommon for me and some, but it is an uncommon and even feared fantasy for so many people and couples.

Adventure sex is one of the best connective tools a couple can experience. It does not always mean that you have to go to an orgy, or swing with strangers, even to have sex in public as my little tale above shares. Sometimes adventure sex can be very vanilla and simply mean doing something that you would like to explore or do again to rekindle the heat or expand your sexual horizons. Some of my tips of the week speak of having sex in the shower, tormenting each other under the table at a restaurant, revealing no panties just as you enter a theater or show, or before leaving your car give a sample blow job. Offer you bare pussy to your lover by pressing their finger into you while they are driving, kiss more passionately and thrust your hips into them while nibbling gently on their lip. Adventure sex may just mean changing up the room you have sex in or adding in a toy or some blindfolds and restraints.

Fantasy Sex DOES NOT have to remain a fantasy either. It has been shown over and over again that through acting out, sharing and allowing ourselves to grow our fantasies in a safe, intimate, boundary respected enviroment that we not only have a more harmonized psychological world, but our commitment and intimacy level with our partner is strengthened to new levels. Our actual relationship foundation becomes stronger and the container that we act in with our partner acts as a liberating agent instead of a space for shame, disconnect and fear.

Sexual fantasy is healthy folks!

Not all fantasy need be acted on, some may not even be very physically safe or may be a turn off for our partners.

Some fantasy sex may just need to be shared during lovemaking to heat things up. Or parts of the fantasy played out during regular love making and the rest just painted as if it were a picture for both to enjoy in the thralls of love making.

I can tell you that personally I love it when my partner takes me from behind, and applies his strength of dominance by holding me firmly or gently choking me while whispering our joint fantasies in my ear, using some strong language and letting me know how aroused he is with each thrust. This sort of partial fantasy play in my book is exhilarating and heals my shame of desire.

Yes SHAME of DESIRE.

Growing up in a catholic school, with parents much older then my friends parents very stuck in their ways and with the social programming that as a girl or a woman I should not desire sex. Only sluts and whores did this and they did it out of a lack of self respect. A girl who respects herself does not flaunt, crave, desire and most certainly would never share or act on these fantasies.

Not so uncommon a program, as the majority of the population has a similar one.

What I have learned through years of sex and relationship coaching with clients, and through my own healing processes with my teachers and lovers is that the ONLY should not is the denial of myself. If I say no to myself consistently, then I reinforce the shaming from my youth. Only through acceptance and saying yes to some of my desires do I heal and expand.

This is true for everyone.

In our ability to say yes to ourselves and to push ourselves to grow and experience new adventures we learn what our true beliefs are, we learn where our boundaries are and we experience liberation not only sexually but mentally, spiritually and as a whole authentic being. One that is making the call for ourselves instead of assuming that another individuals desires/beliefs/experiences and programs are good enough for us as well.

Through our awakening the supposed demon of desire we also awaken enlightenment.

Sex is truly a liberator, a healer and one of the greatest teachers we have been given. In our closure and shaming of this invaluable tool we shut ourselves off from life and turn toward self imprisonment all in the pursuit of being a “good girl or good boy” in the eyes of society.

So stop crucifying your sex and start saying yes to the oh so evil pearls of sin. Say yes to a fantasy. Say yes to an adventure. Say yes to growth, intimacy and unbounded passion.

You may just be surprised at how powerful the event turns out to be and what joys reside on the other side of the doorway of desire.

–KW

 

Two Keys to Relating

intimacyspiritualIntimacy and trust. The two key ingredients to a healthy, strong, loving and passionate relationship. These two items go hand in hand and are a catch 22 in relating. If you start to loose one the other is right behind it and vise verse, you also need one to make the other happen.

Intimacy is not just about sex either, although in our world today when someone speaks of intimacy they are speaking of sexual intimacy often. It is valuable to truly understand that intimacy is something that is needed to feel connected, understood, valued and secure in all relating.

Just this last weekend we had a dear friend come to the Orgasm Camp workshop and stay after for socializing and dinner. She is an Intimacy Coach and during our dinner preparations I was playing with our 15 month old son, Jessica (our friend) made the comment that she could tell that I was not just a parent to my children that I was also their friend. She stated that we treated the children like real people not “kids.” What she was seeing was the intimacy shared between parent and child. Something that I have been conscious of harvesting in my relationships with all six of my children. It is something that when I look out into the world I do not see in the paradigm of parent/child. The average parenting structure has the child as a lower species of human-hood, there are walls that are put in place, things that are not discussed because a child could never understand this or that and children are talked down to instead of communicated with in authenticity. Parents try to hide their own short comings and mistakes and even try to repair what they feel they did wrong in their youth by “protecting” otherwise known as controlling their own children from doing the same instead of openly communicating with them and building trust and intimacy. Here is where I strongly differ (granted I may be wrong in my beliefs but parenting truly is a science where we all wager our upbringing skills on a hypothesis), I believe in building intimacy and trust. This comes through authentic living which transfers as authentic relating even with my child. Never shutting down about where I am , what is happening, and never shaming or having misguided expectations. Recognizing that my child has to make mistakes no matter their age in order to learn and grow. Supporting individualism. Communicating life lessons at a level that each of my children can understand for where they are at, EVEN if that is having a sex talk with them.
Through this sort of authentic relating I have preventing many barriers from forming and have kept the communication lines open. So much so that my oldest two daughters (now 17 and 19) have had the ability to trust in me enough and know that we share the intimacy needed for them to bring difficult issues into the court, from the first time they had sex, to things they have experimented with, sexual trauma, jealousy issues, physical changes happening, and even their first G-spot orgasm. Most parents in todays culture would have a tough time hearing their daughter speak openly about the pleasure they experienced and how amazing it was during a G-spot orgasm, they certainly would not want to have to give further advise as to how to achieve this state again. Yet in my household, these two young women get the opportunity to grow, question, experience and be supported instead of being shamed for their sexuality as women.

I have always stated that I am a realist. I know that our youth is a time of great exploration and teenagers and young adults will certainly experiment and learn things from somewhere, so why not support healthy exploration backed by authentic, unconditional loving instead of shaming, guilting and disconnecting?

This same dynamic can be brought into our intimate affairs with a lover. How do we communicate with them? Do we allow them to be of individual thought, need and life experience without shaming, guilting or disconnecting no matter how they choose to show up in the moment or do we try and change them and make our expectations and needs greater then what they can deliver? DO we hold space for our lover to experience what they need in any given moment or do we demand for things to be as we believe they should?

I am not saying that we have to support without end a decision or action of a loved one, child or lover alike. I am not saying that we have to agree or even pretend to agree with them. What I am saying is that we need to open the channels of authentic communication and hold our hearts open in the most challenging of times. This is true unconditional loving, something that the majority of relationships have never experienced, because what we think is love is actually need, and in our needing we distort our partners, or anyone else that we are in a love based relationships with and put false hopes and expectations on them that they CANNOT often meet. We are dependent on them to make us happy instead of taking care of our own happiness. When our needs are suddenly not met and the veil of illusion that WE ourselves put there starts to come down, we loose trust and intimacy and point the finger at the other blaming them for the suffering that we are now feeling. This is where we loose ourselves further, often find that our relationship was built on sand with no stable foundation and question why we even trusted in this person.

Building true intimacy and trust is not easy but it is simple.

There are steps for building the foundation for authentic loving and relating so that we can have a sacred relationship with all the people in our lives.

Among these steps are:

Conscious Living = Conscious Relating
Appreciation
Integrity in Action and Communication
Holding Space
Standing in the Fire
Exploration
Dedication to Life and Unconditional Love before the Relationship

Learn more on how you can have an Authentic, Sacred Relationship in your Love Life and in ALL relating on October 1st, 2014…

More on Authentic Relating & Sexing/ Intimacy Coaching

Bring Kendal to You!

Intimacy Building Couple’s Sessions in the privacy of YOUR own home!

Are Negative Emotions Blocking Your Drive?

mind-body-connection-exercises

Humans experience an array of emotions, anything from happiness, to sadness to extreme joy and depression. Each one of these emotions creates a different feeling within the body. After all, our body releases different chemicals when we experience various things that make us happy and each chemical works to create a different environment within the body. For example if your brain releases serotonin, dopamine or oxytocin, you will feel good and happy. Convexly, if your body releases cortisol while you are stressed, you will have an entirely different feeling associated more with the body kicking into survival mode.

What about when we are thinking negative thoughts all the time? Or how about when we are thinking positive thoughts? What about when we are not emotionally charged to neither positive nor negative? Let’s explore how these affect our body and life.

POSITIVE VS. NEGATIVE

Is there duality in our world? Sure, you could say there is to a degree, but mostly we spend a lot of time defining and judging what is to be considered as positive and what we consider to be as negative. The brain is a very powerful tool and as we define what something is or should be, we begin to have that result play out in our world. Have you ever noticed, for example that someone driving can get cut off and lose their lid, get angry and suddenly they are feeling negative, down and in  bad mood? Whereas someone else can get cut off while driving and simply apply the break slightly and move on with their day as if nothing happened. In this case, the same experience yet one sees it as negative while the other doesn’t. So are things innately positive and negative? Or do we define things as positive and negative?

CUT THE PERCEPTIONS AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE

After thinking about it for a moment you might realize that there are in fact no positive or negative experiences other than what we define as such. Therefore our very perception of an experience or situation has the ultimate power as to how we will feel when it’s happening and how our bodies will be affected. While we can always work to move beyond our definitions of each experience and move into a state of mind/awareness/consciousness where we simply accept each experience for what it is and use it as a learning grounds for us, we may not be there yet and so it’s important to understand how certain emotions can affect our health.

“If someone wishes for good health, one must first ask oneself if he is ready to do away with the reasons for his illness. Only then is it possible to help him.” ~Hippocrates

MIND BODY CONNECTION

The connection between your mind and body is very powerful and although it cannot be visually seen, the effects your mind can have on your physical body are profound. We can have an overall positive mental attitude and deal directly with our internal challenges and in turn create a healthy lifestyle or we can be in negative, have self destructive thoughts and not deal with our internal issues, possibly even cloak those issues with affirmations and positivity without finding the route and in turn we can create an unhealthy lifestyle. Why is this?

Our emotions and experiences are essentially energy and they can be stored in the cellular memory of our bodies. Have you ever experienced something in your life that left an emotional mark or pain in a certain area of your body? Almost as if you can still feel something that may have happened to you? It is likely because in that area of your body you still hold energy released from that experience that is remaining in that area. I came across an interesting chart that explores some possible areas that various emotions might affect the body.

When you have a pain, tightness or injuries in certain areas, it’s often related to something emotionally you are feeling within yourself. At first glance it may not seem this way because we are usually very out of touch with ourselves and our emotions in this fast paced world, but it’s often the truth. When I’ve had chronic pains in my back, knees, neck or shoulders, it wasn’t exercise, physio or anything in a physical sense that healed it, it was when I dealt with the emotions behind it. I know this because I spent the time and money going to physio and even though I wanted and believed I would get better, something wasn’t being addressed still. The more I addressed the unconscious thought pattern and emotions throughout my body, the more thins loosened up and pain went away. When you get sick or are feeling a lot of tightness and pain, often times our body is asking us to observe yourself and find peace once again within yourself and your environment. It’s all a learning and growing process we don’t have to judge nor fear.

YOU HAVE THE POWER

Davis Suzuki wrote in ‘The Sacred Life’, ‘condensed molecules from breath exhaled from verbal expressions of anger, hatred, and jealousy, contain toxins. Accumulated over 1 hr, these toxins are enough to kill 80 guinea pigs!’ Can you now imagine the harm you are doing to your body when you stay within negative emotions or unprocessed emotional experience throughout the body? Remember, you have all the power in you to get through anything life throws at you. Instead of labeling with perception the concepts of negative and positive as it relates to each experience you have in your life, try to see things from a  big picture standpoint. Ask yourself, how can this help me to see or learn something? Can I use this to shift my perception? Clear some emotion within myself? Realize something within another and accept it? Whatever it may be, instead of simply reacting, slow things down and observe. You will find you have the tools to process emotions and illness quickly when you see them for what they are and explore why they came up. If you believe you will get sick all the time, and believe you have pain because it’s all out of your control, you will continue to have it all in an uncontrollable manner until you realize the control you have over much of what we attract within the body. Credits: Joe Martino of Collective Evolution Original Posting of Article @ The Mind Unleashed

Photo Credit to Awesome Mind Secrets

How To Eat Pussy – A Magical Guide For Evolved People

pussy
“When a woman finds a man who gives good head, she’s found a treasure she’s not going to let go of too quickly. This is one rare customer and she knows it. She won’t even tell her girlfriends about it or that guy will become the most popular man in town.”

Hey, I have a lot of respect for all you guys who like to eat pussy because there are too few of you out there. And I’m not the only woman who says this. Furthermore, some of you guys who are giving it the old college try are not doing too well, so maybe this little lesson will help you out.

When a woman finds a man who gives good head, she’s found a treasure she’s not going to let go of too quickly. This is one rare customer and she knows it. She won’t even tell her girlfriends about it or that guy will become the most popular man in town. So, remember, most guys can fuck, and those who can usually do it satisfactorily, but the guy who gives good head, he’s got it made.

The Pussy-Licking-Guide for evolved people in 15 magical steps

#1: Tell her she is beautiful and mean it.

Most women are shy about their bodies. Even if you’ve got the world’s most gorgeous woman in bed with you, she’s going to worry about how you like her body. Tell her it’s beautiful, tell her which parts you like best, tell her anything, but get her to trust you enough to let you down between her legs.

#2 Stop and appreciate her unique flower

Now stop and look at what you see. Beautiful, isn’t it? There is nothing that makes a woman more unique than her pussy. I know. I’ve seen plenty of them. They come in all different sizes, colors and shapes; some are tucked inside like a little girl’s cunnie and some have thick luscious lips that come out to greet you. Some are nested in brushes of fur and others are covered with transparent fuzz. Appreciate your woman’s unique qualities and tell her what makes her special.

#3 Women are more verbal: Talk to her beautiful pussy

Women are a good deal more verbal than men, especially during love-making. They also respond more to verbal love, which means, the more you talk to her, the easier it will be to get her off. So all the time you’re petting and stroking her beautiful pussy, talk to her about it.

#4 Lick her outer lips, inner lips and find her clit

Now look at it again. Gently pull the lips apart and look at her inner lips, even lick them if you want to. Now spread the tops of her pussy up until you can find her clit. Women have clits in all different sizes, just like you guys have different sized cocks. It doesn’t mean a thing as far as her capacity for orgasm. All it means is more of her is hidden underneath her foreskin.

#5 Whenever you touch a woman’s pussy, make sure your finger is wet

Whenever you touch a woman’s pussy, make sure your finger is wet. You can lick it or moisten it with juices from inside her. Be sure, by all means, to wet it before you touch her clit because it doesn’t have any juices of it’s own and it’s extremely sensitive. Your finger will stick to it if it’s dry and that hurts. But you don’t want to touch her clit anyway. You have to work up to that. Before she becomes aroused, her clit is too delicate to be handled.

#6 Tease her & approach her pussy slowly

Approach her pussy slowly. Women, even more so than men, love to be teased. The inner part of her thigh is her most tender spot. Lick it, kiss it, make designs on it with the tip of your tongue. Come dangerously close to her pussy, then float away. Make her anticipate it.

#7 Play with her

Now lick the crease where her leg joins her pussy. Nuzzle your face into her bush. Brush your lips over her slit without pressing down on it to further excite her. After you’ve done this to the point where your lady is bucking up from her seat and she’s straining to get more of you closer to her, then put your lips right on top of her slit.

#8 Kiss her, gently, then harder

Kiss her, gently, then harder. Now use your tongue to separate her pussy lips and when she opens up, run your tongue up and down between the layers of pussy flesh. Gently spread her legs more with your hands. Everything you do with a woman you’re about to eat must be done gently.

#9 Tongue-fuck her

Tongue-fuck her. This feels divine. It also teases the hell out of her because by now she wants some attention given to her clit. Check it out. See if her clit has gotten hard enough to peek out of it’s covering. If so, lick it. If you can’t see it, it might still be waiting for you underneath. So bring your tongue up the top of her slit and feel for her clit. You may barely experience it’s presence. But even if you can’t feel the tiny pearl, you can make it rise by licking the skin that covers it. Lick hard now and press into her skin.

#10 Work her tip of the iceberg

Gently pull the pussy lips away and flick your tongue against the clit, hood covered or not. Do this quickly. This should cause her legs to shudder. When you sense she’s getting up there toward orgasm, make your lips into an O and take the clit into your mouth.

Start to suck gently and watch your lady’s face for her reaction. If she can handle it, begin to suck harder. If she digs it, suck even harder. Go with her. If she lifts her pelvis into the air with the tension of her rising orgasm, move with her, don’t fight her. Hang on, and keep your hot mouth on her clit. Don’t let go. That’s what she’ll be saying too: ‘Don’t stop. Don’t ever stop!’

There’s a reason for that, most men stop too soon. Just like with cock sucking, this is something worth learning about and worth learning to do well. I know a man who’s a lousy fuck, simply lousy, but he can eat pussy like nobody I know and he never has trouble getting a date. Girls are falling all over him.

#11 Finger-fuck her with TWO fingers

But back to your pussy eating session…There’s another thing you can do to intensify your woman’s pleasure. You can finger-fuck her while she’s enjoying your clit-licking talents. Before, during or after. She’ll really like it. In addition to the erogenous zones surrounding her clit, a woman has another extremely sensitive area at the roof of her vagina. This is what you rub up against when you’re fucking her. Well, since your cock is pretty far away from your mouth, your fingers will have to do the fucking.

Take two fingers. One is too skinny and three is too wide and therefore can’t get deep enough. Make sure they’re wet so you don’t irritate her skin. Slide them inside, slowly at first, then a little faster. Fuck her with them rhythmically. Speed up only when she does. Listen to her breathing.

She’ll let you know what to do. If you’re sucking her clit and finger-fucking her at the same time, you’re giving her far more stimulation than you would be giving her with your cock alone. So you can count on it that she’s getting high on this. If there’s any doubt, check her out for symptoms.

#12 Get to know her orgasmic symptoms to become even better

Each woman is unique.

  • You may have one who’s nipples get hard when she’s excited
  • or only when she’s having an orgasm.
  • Your girl might flush red or
  • begin to tremble.

Get to know her symptoms and you’ll be a more sensitive lover.

#13 Don’t let go of her clit when she starts to orgasm – The Multi-Orgasmic Woman

When she starts to have an orgasm, for heaven’s sakes, don’t let go of that clit. Hang in there for the duration. When she starts to come down from the first orgasm, press your tongue along the underside of the clit, leaving your lips covering the top. Move your tongue in and out of her cunt. If your fingers are inside, move them a little too, gently though, things are extremely sensitive just now.

If you play your cards right, you’ll get some multiple orgasms this way. A woman stays excited for a full hour after she’s had an orgasm. Do you realize the full impact of that information? The potential? One woman was clocked at 56 orgasms at one sitting. Do you know what effect you would have on a woman you gave 56 orgasms to? She’d be yours as long as you wanted her.

#14 The cherry on the cake

Some women like to have their man rub and enter their anal section with their finger while they are being eaten out!

#15 After the orgasmic wave: Keep making love to her quietly

The last advice I have for you is this: After you’ve made her come, made her your slave by giving her the best head she’s ever had, don’t leave her alone just yet. Talk to her, stroke her body, caress her breasts. Keep making love to her quietly until she’s come all the way down. A man can get off and go to sleep in the same breath and feel no remorse, no sense of loss. But a woman by nature requires some sensitivity from her lover in those first few moments after sex.

Oral sex can be the most exciting sexual experiences you can have. But it’s what you make it. Take your time, practice often, pay attention to your lover’s signals, and most of all, enjoy yourself.

Now get to it and make your partner smile and love you forever!

With Love, Tammy, Linda and Nicole

Original Posting on My Tiny Secrets

Image credit to the amazing NVM Illustration & Camille Damage (visit her blog – an intriguing photographer) Editors Note: Follow MyTinySecrets on facebook. Only for grown-ass people! If you dig this article, you might as well be intrigued by this tiny secret