Change Your World
by Brian Tracy
“You cannot change the world,
But you can present the world with one improved person –
You can go to work on yourself to make yourself
Into the kind of person you admire and respect.
You can become a role model and set a standard for others.
You can control and discipline yourself to resist acting
Or speaking in a negative way Toward anyone for any reason.
You can insist upon always doing things the loving way,
Rather than the hurtful way.
By doing these things each day,
You can continue on your journey
Toward becoming an exceptional human being.”
Recently I made a status update on facebook that said, “May the bridges I burn Light the way.” A response that I received was, “It would be tough to build a new bridge, why would you burn it?” We have all heard the advice, Don’t burn your bridges, once burnt you can not cross them again. And this is true! for most cases. Sometimes though we have to STOP and look at what in our life is no longer serving us. What is holding us back? When we analyze this we may be shocked to discover the changes that we need to make. No soul that has ever made a significant impact on the world, a community or even in a business has heeded the advice of not burning a bridge that is no longer serving them. Granted it is wise advice it is also advice that stems from fear based thinking. Instead look at what changes need to unfold and allow the light of the burning bridges to guide your path. The bridges we may choose to burn may be big or small, they may be relationships, commitments that overwhelm us, business ventures that have been crashing for all too long and we have not had the courage to do what is needed, or they may be going cold turkey with a unhealthy habit. No matter if you have been feeling the need to “have the talk with someone” or putting in your resignation, know that true transformation and growth only come to those who have the courage to burn the bridges that are no longer needed.
Often we find that once a bridge is burned we can no longer return to the other side, but who wants to step backwards in life anyway?
There are times that what seems like burning of a bridge is actually not. It is actually the birthing of a new energy in the way we perceive or handle something. Many years ago when I was but a teenager I found myself madly in-love with a young man. We spent many an afternoon planning our future together. Every detail was a accounted for. There was NO WAY that we would ever part ways, life would surly be over if we did. One Spring afternoon my boyfriend came to me, walked with me as he did every day on his work break, we ate, talked and kissed. We walked back to where we would kiss and part for a few more hours and as he stepped onto the bus he was the driver for this day I could feel my heart squeeze tight. Something was different. Something was wrong. He was saying goodbye but not with his words or actions. His energy said it all. He smiled and drove away. I shoved my feelings to the side and went back to work myself. Later that day and for weeks to come I found myself calling him, going to his apartment, checking with his aunt, mother, grandmother, and roommates. Where was he? Was he okay? Alive? Arrested? No one would tell me anything. It was beyond my reason, to imagine that he had just left me without even a goodbye or explanation. We were soul mates. Lovers. Engaged.
Tears pored from my eyes day in and day out. I could not eat. Sleep or communicate. My world had been shattered. I was depressed, wanted to die without him. I was raged by his weakness to not face me in person. I was scared that something horrible had happened to him. The bridge of our beautiful relationship and life together was on fire. It was burning and there was nothing I could do about it. He had set the fire and I had no way of saving it from turning to ash.
Over 10 years went by when one day we were magically brought back together.
Both living our lives, married, children, careers. Both still wondering about and loving the other. In our first speaking I knew that the bridge that was burnt had to be for each of us to grow and emerge into the people we are today. I knew that the course of our lives needed the light from that first bridge to help us find our way to a higher vibration. In the end because of the burning of the first bridge we today still find ourselves elevated in love with each other. We find ourselves in a deep relationship of understanding and friendship. The bridge we walk today is far grander then the one of the past and we are far stronger souls because we allowed the old perceptions of the reality we thought we should have turn to ash and be carried in the winds of time to nurture and fertilize the reality we are living today. It has been over 5 years since the construction of the this new bridge and each day I count my blessings for the light shone to me from the original one’s fire.
Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, so can our soul paths on this spiritual journey called life.
“God has prepared a path for everyone to follow. You just have to read the omens that he left for you.” The Alchemist
I’m worried about getting and maintaining my erections…
By Mare Simone, Advanced Certified Tantra Educator
I frequently encounter clients who, as they mature and their hormone levels shift, they begin to lose faith in their own sexuality.
Men become victims of the myth of the Perpetual Erection. It has always existed, but it’s become even more destructive because of the way in which the issue is treated in most pornography, which always features a purported Superman. That’s not reality. Often porn stars use Viagra or “fluffers”, women whose job it is to keep them aroused and hard for their performance.
It often seems as though performance anxiety and the pressure that goes along with it is the culprit that causes impotency and perpetuates it. Often I’ve found that when a man doesn’t put pressure on himself nor does his partner, the problem resolves itself, just being present and thoroughly enjoying the moment.
In Tantric sex, it’s not so important how hard your erection is, how long it lasts, or whether or not you are even hard at all.
Not only is it possible to have an orgasm without ejaculating, I have also known men who have had profound full body orgasms and multiples, without even being erect!
There are many other delightful ways that you can join with your partner to create great pleasures together, using your hands or mouth that don’t require an erection.
Tantria teaches you: how to channel your sexual energy throughout your entire body and to your partner’s body… How to have non-genital, full body orgasms…
How to enter into an exquisite spiritual/sexual state… to feel the energy flowing right through you, into your partner and back into you… creating a continuous stream of energy that flows between you. It’s incredibly satisfying! And you can do all this without necessarily having an erection.
Interestingly I have found that when sexual partners are not so concerned about whether the man has a full erection or not, the problem often ceases on its own, without needing to be fixed.
Taking the pressure off and not having to perform gives way for a deeper more gratifying experience of relaxed arousal and tremendous pleasure.
Mare Simone is an Advanced Certified Tantra Educator through the Source School of Tantra Yoga and lives in Southern California. She travels the world teaching Tantra. You can read more about her at www.maresimone.com.
Article Originally Posted on Source Tantra Blog
“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly, I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore.
Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears.
I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.
So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
Let me start by telling you a bit about me, I’m a shy person by nature and have spent my life giving to others. I love helping other people out so much that it has become what I do for a living. I manage a help desk helping customers and employees all day everyday. I also support or help support 4 different families in my personal life. So let me assure you I was not prepared for the precious moments with Kendal where this amazing, beautiful, loving woman focused entirely on me. Even from the first time I met her at our consultation I was relaxed and comfortable. She has a way of making you feel OK to just be yourself without expectations.
When I first arrived at her office I was tense with a lot of anxiety about our session, stepping into the sacred space she created it washed away almost instantly. We talked for a brief time which put me further at ease. She then invited me to place my hands on her Heart Chakra while she did the same to mine, the breathing exercises we did inspired a deep trust in her and that she really was interested in helping and healing me fully.
I have been diagnosed with Guillain-Barre Syndrome which makes any contact to my feet extremely painful. Which I was very nervous about since the next step in our session was a ceremonial foot bathing. I was pleasantly surprised at how warm and loving her touch was, at the slightest touch I felt as if my entire foot were surrounded by warm energy that soothed the pain and for the first time in 8 months my feet were not hurting. The energy felt like it extended a few inches off all sides of my feet and was warm, almost globular, it was like nothing else I have ever experienced.
At this point I stood again and she asked permission to remove my clothing she did so softly and with incredible grace. Once disrobed she invited me to lay face down while she checked my chakras. Even this was an experience worth having. Once she had the energy information she needed she worked on freeing up tense blocked energy spots through out my back, legs and feet. I’ve had my fair share of massages and I must say that the overwhelming intent to heal makes an amazing difference, it was the greatest massage I have ever gotten. Her hands worked with such love and skilled precision. She then asked if I would like to roll over onto my back, once comfortable again she worked on the energy of my chest, arms, legs, and feet again.
Just when I did not think I could get anymore out of the time with her, she asked if it would be ok if I rolled back over and she removed the drape that was over me. At this point the session got more sensual but not in the typical way you might think,
it was about love and caring not about lust and sex. If you have not experienced this type of compassion I can assure you that you are missing out on one of the greatest things we as humans can offer each other. As she was working in freeing up the flow of my energy through my entire body I sensed what I can only categorize as a burst of energy that filled the room and was impossible to ignore. I knew something had changed and it didn’t come from within me. As I lay there soaking in this new energy her upper body came in contact with me and I felt the warmth of her skin on my body. It drove me deeper into the sensations she was bringing out of me already. As the energy she was radiating and the energy welling up in me combined I fell a state of complete peace and acceptance.
She asked if I was ready to roll back over onto my back. She again skillfully, lovingly worked the energies in the room, both mine and hers to bring me to a new understanding of the being that I truly am. As she massaged my lingam I could feel the energy coalesce, building and building till I was almost on the verge of releasing it, just before I did; as if that energy was some physical substance she could capture in her hand and direct she motioned her fingers up the center of my chest making it radiate through out my entire being. I felt as if I could feel every tiny cell in my body and they were all electrified with my sexual energy. My body vibrated with new life and the only way I can think to describe it would have to be complete and total full body bliss! As this sensation started to dissipate (although it never completely did) she started it building again and once again as a true master of her arts she assisted me in letting it release thorough out my body once again. This time however I was overcome with it and my body literal started shaking with the pleasure. When I finally did release that energy from my being I was in total awe of not only her and her abilities but of the truly amazing energy I had just been shown that I have within me and always have. She finished our session with more body work to help calm the energy and ease me into a state of bliss.
If you are considering visiting with Kendal the best advise I could think to give you would be to go into it with an open heart and give yourself permission to relax and enjoy the time you have with this amazing, beautiful woman. Do not place yourself into a confined box, you may not have the same experience I had but if you are truly open to your session you will have the experience you need and I really do believe that.
In closing I would like to say; Kendal you are a beautiful, loving, and energetic soul and thank you from the bottom of my heart, I will never forget my first experience with tantra.
With love -John
Vaginal pain is the number one reason why marriages are unconsummated, but treating and healing this condition is possible. Tinamarie discusses this all-to-common problem and reveals publically for the first time her experiences with a sexually debilitating condition.
For years, I thought I was a one of a kind freak, not knowing that there was a name for what ailed me or that twenty million American women suffering from the same condition. In my case, I can’t remember when it started, though by the time I was in my early thirties it had gone on for years and wrecked havoc with my sex life, self-esteem and marriage.
After that union dissolved, I recall crying to my therapist that as far as I was concerned, nothing bigger than a Q-tip was going to go near my tender parts ever again. As for orgasms, and their usual sidekicks like kissing, holding, touch and pleasure, my body was destined to perpetual skin-hunger.
Little did I know that healing was a few orgasms away…
Closed for Pleasure
First, however, I had to understand the etiology of my diagnosis, vulvar vestibulitis (say that three times fast), which is just one a form of dyspareunia (pain upon penetrative sex). Sex that hurts for whatever reason is more prevalent than once thought – three in fifty adult women worldwide will be diagnosed – making dyspareunia almost as common as diabetes (8.6 percent) and cervical cancer (7.9 percent), though you are pressed to find many open discussions about the causes, treatments and cures of sex that hurts.
Seriously, who wants to admit their vagina had become a Do Not Enter zone? Sonia Borg, PhD, a clinical sexologist sex educator and author of several books including the upcoming Marathon Sex: Incredible Lovemaking Experiences Hotter and Longer Than You’ve Ever Done It Before (Quiver Books, January 2012), points out that for many, talking about sex is simply taboo. When it comes to sexual dysfunctions, confessions are rarer still.
“Talking about personal problems that we don’t know how to fix or manage can bring up emotions that are simply too overwhelming,” Borg explains. “Also, some imagined implications may be that the partner is being hurtful, insensitive, or that the couple just doesn’t know how to do it, ‘right.’”
This was the hardened terrain that stymied me from seeking help. When I wasn’t grimacing during sex, I’d yelp, push my husband off of me, and learned to live without affection, tampons and tight jeans. For six years, shame silenced me, though really, I’m a lucky one. Most women’s private hell lasts an average of 10 years before they find answers and relief. Remissions are common, causes are speculative at best — sexual assault, pelvic surgery, guilt and allergies are all implicated culprits — and through it all, the agony is very, very real.
I might have endured life with VV until my labia withered, except on a lark — a rare sexual encounter — I got pregnant and could no longer avoid the speculum or the fact that something was very, very amiss with my body. My doctor, Dr. Lissa Rankin diagnosed me with the q-tip test (This involves using the sterilized tip to gently touch the vestibular glands just past the opening of the vagina. These glands produce vaginal lubrication, and just touching them with a q-tip can recreate the pelvic inferno). This was the start of a slow recovery that included buying sex toys (doctor’s orders!), and learning to be honest with myself, and future lovers.
Most importantly, my yoni was whispering something to me, one vaginal clench at a time, and it was time I paid attention to my secret erotic self if I ever wanted to experience bliss again.
I Heart My Vagina
Dr. Rankin is one of the rare medical voices who acknowledges how little medicine knows about painful sex or that the common treatments offer limited help. There is, “no quick fix, no pill to swallow, no surgery to cure the pain, no magic wand to make things different,” Rankin has written about her decade long bout with painful sex. “I knew I would have to do the work. But I also knew my condition was 100 percent curable,” she explained, “If I was brave enough to do whatever it would take.”
The scariest part of that journey was acknowledging that my body knew something long before I did — my relationship was toxic. Fear and resentment were the wrong bedfellows for any viable marriage, though these two had taken up residence before VV came knocking on the door. Spiritually speaking, I was bankrupt, and if my brain refused to acknowledge the obvious, my hooch was keen on setting the record straight. Move on, my dear, she was saying, to loving pastures.
In a world that separates the soulful from the sexual and heaps on piles of guilt for enjoying the latter, it’s understandable that for many women, one common denominator is often “some form of sexual guilt,” says Borg who has worked with clients experiencing painful intercourse.
“We all have programming buried deep in our subconscious (which never forgets) and some of that programming no longer serves us.” It could be as simple as a parent teaching a child that ‘sex is naughty,’ she explains. “The child grows into an adult, with normal natural desires for sex. The adult now lives those desires out, but there are emotionalized triggers, which can turn a normally pleasurable experience into a painful one.”
While we use different language — I view the prism of my healing through a spiritual lens — the outcome is the same. “The subconscious mind has its own language and one of the ways it communicates is by showing signs and symptoms in the body,” says Borg.
Putting Pussy First
Over the years, I’ve spoken to a number of women, many of whom were healed almost ‘magically’ by discarding a relationship that no longer served them. In many cases, these are women who, like me, developed an, ‘allergic emotional reaction’ to an intimate partner. Once the relationship was dissolved we found of inner wantonness, and learned to pay attention to our bodies, knowing that pleasure is a corporal blessing. Honor our bodies, honor ourselves could be the motto for any woman post-diagnosis seeking to keep VV in remission.
I cannot imagine how difficult it might be for women whose experiences with painful sex are a result of sexual assault, violence, abuse and surgery; though Borg points out that regardless of etiology, sexual wounds can all respond to conscious love. “We are holistic and energetic beings so everything affects everything else,” she points out.
It sounds cliché yet it’s true. Vulvar vestibulitis launched my erotic journey from sexual starvation to satisfaction. Listening to what my body was aching for helped me rediscover how important a robust sexuality is to emotional, physical and spiritual wellbeing. Against the backdrop of a culture that thrusts sex upon us, and glorifies physicality at the expense sometimes of real intimacy, VV helped me connect my primal needs with sacred sensuality.
After all, the soul craves ecstasy too and oftentimes our inner Goddess is just picky about whom she wants to explore it with.
Image from Lightworkers.org
When I booked what was to be my fifth massage with Kendal, she asked me what kind of session I was interested in receiving. I asked for her recommendation, adding that I was open to creativity. I had never been previously disappointed with Kendal’s services, in fact, quite the opposite. She had always far surpassed my expectations. Knowing she possesses an unusually creative mind, I felt sure she would have something special planned for me.
As is normally the case before arriving at my sessions, the anticipation of being under the care of Kendal’s skillful hands is one of my most favorite things to look forward to. I arrived and entered her session room and, as my eyes adjusted to the peaceful candlelit darkness in the room, was received with a warm smile, a sincere hug and pleasant conversation. Kendal works hard to create an inviting sense of well being from the very start.
I looked around the room and noticed the usual massage table was missing and in its place saw a thick sheet-covered mat on the floor. We spent a few quiet minutes talking about everyday life. She then told me that she would like to give me a Thai-Tantra Bodywork session. I have learned to surrender myself to Kendal’s plans for me – she always seems to be in tune with my spirit. She then came face-to-face with me and took my hands in hers and laid them on her chest. She asked me to take seven deep breaths while she checked my chakra with her hands, noticing those areas of my body that might need special care or muscles that seemed tight. Just the experience of breathing deep relaxed me immensely. Feeling her energy close to mine brought a sense of calm that was instantly comforting.
She removed my clothes and asked me to do likewise with her clothing. She then instructed me to sit down with her on the mat. Facing me, she draped her legs over mine and leaned into me asking me to again take several deep breaths. This was the beginning of my transformation. In an instant I was one with her in intimacy, skin to skin – not so much sexually at this point – but feeling a closeness that was nurturing and wholesome. As we sat together in silence, I could smell her skin and feel her breath as her hands gently glided over my body.
After several minutes in this position, she moved behind me and leaned back against a pillow at the base of the wall. She then asked me to lie back and put my entire weight against her warm body. My form melted into hers as her soft hands caressed my shoulders, stomach, arms and face from behind. I couldn’t help but continue to take deep breaths since it seemed natural in this peaceful and loving position. I remember resigning any shyness or hesitancy to Kendal’s loving embraces and caresses.
Completely at peace, I could have remained with her in this position, but after several minutes was asked to lie on the mat choosing either face down for face up. I chose face down. Kendal moved the bowl of hot coconut oil close to the mat and I lay down completely relaxed and ready to receive her loving attention.
The instant Kendal’s magic hands dipped into the hot oil and dripped it onto my skin I was in rapture. She was sitting to one side on the mat as her hands firmly glided up my back to my neck and shoulders and down my arms to the tips of my fingers and back again. Cupping more hot oil in her hands she massaged my buttocks, working down my legs to my feet and toes. Kendal’s entire body moved in tandem with her hands allowing her long blonde hair to occasionally brush over me – a sensation that I found incredibly sensuous. By this point, every nerve in my skin was alive, every muscle met with perfect pressure. Because the mat was on the floor Kendal easily moved to any position over me where she could best perform her magic.
I was reminded that she too was naked when parts of Kendal’s body – her arms, breasts, thighs, legs and stomach gently connected and slid over my body. Still on my stomach, she used her strong, sensitive hands to work the muscles of my inner thighs causing me to become immediately aroused. Just when I thought it was not possible to feel any more connected with her, she slid her oiled body completely on top of mine and lay quietly with me for a minute or so. I remember being overcome with peace and, at the same time, intense desire.
She worked her fingers around my buttocks, along my perineum and into the delicate folds of my scrotum, reaching under me and between my legs to slide her hand up the front of my groin teasing my lingam and heightening my arousal to new levels. She then asked me to turn over and lie on my back.
I placed my head on a pillow as she poured hot oil onto my body and, using her sensitive hands and strong forearms, skillfully concentrated on particular muscles. By now I was fully aroused. Occasionally, her fingers, or hair would lightly brush my lingam sending electricity through my entire body. When she had carefully attended to every part – neck, chest stomach, thighs, calves and feet – she poured hot oil directly on my lingam and scrotum and began the most delicious sensual massage I have ever experienced. I could see her beautiful form in the subtle candlelight as she focused on my total arousal and pleasure, bringing me several times to the brink of ejaculation only to move her hands away to rub my chest and legs – prolonging my ecstasy.
Finally, I gave in to her skillful caresses and exploded with a force uncommon to me. I recall telling Kendal afterwards as I lay on her mat how amazing she is and that I couldn’t remember feeling so completely relaxed. Even after ejaculation, Kendal continued to gently massage me from head to toe as we talked about this incredible experience and the heightened awareness she created using my own sensuality. After about 10 minutes, she wrapped the sheet around me and carefully absorbed the massage oils. Even this was an act of love. Loving is a good word to describe Kendal. What she does is so much more than sensual – it is healing, nurturing and giving.
She dressed me and got herself dressed. Before I left, I embraced her for about 20 seconds, one of my favorite parts of the experience, and reluctantly stepped out of her room back into my bright world with a sense of satisfaction that is hard to describe – already thinking about scheduling my next session. Once again, I am filled with anticipation.
***Notes from Kendal:
This session is for qualifying Extraordinary Gentlemen ONLY. There are no sexual connections happening or mutual touching. This is a very deep interspective expereince for the client where he may touch his inner child, feel nurtured and unconditionally loved while at the same time expereince internal desires and passions awakening as he learns to release emotional and psychological blockages that might be negatively effecting his life in a multitude of ways. This session is also not always done with the practitioner being nude.
Recently I experienced truly being made love to. A deep penetration and opening into a transformative healing bliss. It has been years since I felt anything remotely close to this event and if I am completely honest with myself I believe that I perhaps have never been touched so deeply by such pureness before.
I read once in a David Deida book (uncertain which one) that a woman will stay in love with a man even though they are no longer physically together until another man can penetrate her deeper with his love then the prior. Deida is NOT referring to the size of a man’s cock here; he is referring to the ability to open a woman into love. Sometimes a man will use all his tools to do this but the most important one is his heart. Connecting heart chakra to heart chakra he breathes’s into his woman. Causing her to be breathless and surrender into something deeper than a physical connection. Sex is not always needed for this depth of loving. Matter a fact, as I am about to share my tale with you, the connection and trust building, unconditional loving that happens without the sexual union is profound and very Tantric.
“Being of curious nature and having my soul cry out for me to follow my heart and explore what I already knew was there but was having trouble logically explaining I decided to be daring and have lunch with a young man who had captivated me from the first time we met. This was not our first lunch. It was obvious that we had shared feelings toward each other; yet I am curious with caution. We ate, we enjoyed conversation, we looked into each other’s eyes and we laughed at each other’s silliness and imperfect joke telling skills. Nerves a wreck for both parties. As the time went by the sexual energy heated up between us without physical connection or words to help guide it. It just was there. Not long later, I found myself feeling alive; it was an incredible energetic vibration of life force that took over my whole being, stronger than any energy that I experience in my session work even. There I lay, on my back, breathless from his kisses. Wanting him to take me, wanting to be fucked wide open by this man. Wanting him to heal my wounds with his love. To penetrate me in ALL ways. And scared out of my mind of what that could mean. Each kiss brought with it more depth, more connection. His hands on my face, in my hair, touching my neck. His body leaning on mine as he braced himself over me. I could feel all of him wanting to be with me physically. His arousal at that level was only elevating my own.
Time seemed to stop. The world and all that it would have us long to achieve no longer mattered. As he pressed himself into me withhis heart chakra I felt myself. I have been birthing myself for some time now, but in this moment with his presence and ability to hold space and give powerful love I truly discovered a deep abiding love. It has always been in there, it is there for each of us. As the tears swelled in my eyes, and gently slid down my cheeks I could feel soft rain drops from his eyes cascading down on me as well. I opened my eyes to look into his. A smile on his face, his chest hot from the energy passing between us. I could feel the protective shields of my heart being circumcised and my nakedness of soul as Rumi would poetically title it being revealed. Was I revealing myself in total vulnerability to him in this moment? Yes. But more importantly I was seeing myself for the first time in a long while. There we were two physically separate beings yet I felt as though I had remembered and returned home to the deep being that I already was. I was united with this man, with the world and all her peoples. It was unity of soul. Each beat of my heart stripping away the clothes of my stories.
The pain in my chest was almost unbearable in this moment. I could feel my heart literally bursting in the light of love. I could feel him connected and his heart reacting similar. My chest soft, my lips slightly open. This bliss, this pain of circumcision that was healing, cleansing my core being was divine. It was pure and it was unconditional loving. Our souls seeing themselves in another and entwining in this dance, loving us wide open if we were willing to allow it.”
The depth of intensity and love found between us in this moment exceeded what our world is taught to believe love is. The physical act of sexing was not needed. We were experiencing oneness, a deep caring and seeing ourselves within each other. Through this reunification of ours souls we each sailed in new waters,
discovering that the waves of love we felt toward each other were always
harbored within ourselves. The truth of this love was revealed in this moment because we could each step outside of our selfish natures of ego and love penetratingly without the need for sexual release.
99.9% of our world believes that they are in love when in fact they are in desperate need. This is because we have been lead to believe that love is all about us and our needs. When in fact need is the exact opposite of actual true love. They could not contradict each other anymore. When we try and fulfill our own needs instead of find love we search for love in all the wrong places, find ourselves attracted to all the wrong people, unhappy and unfulfilled within our relationships. Our hunt to satisfy our needs masked by the beautiful thought of love causes our destruction; it is the root to divorce and break ups; pain and anger.
According to the ancient spiritual technology of Kabbalah the mystery of love can be broken down within the word itself: LOVE
Let’s look at the numbers. A.K.A Numerology. Now I know that many of my
readers may not even believe in such a supposed hocus pocus thing as
numerology, but please just humor me here.
Have you ever taken a sip of distilled water? Distilled water is free of all impurities. A process called distillation, which involves boiling the liquid and letting the steam condense into water again, filters out all contaminants. The end result is untainted, undeniably thirst-quenching H20.
This is the same as numerology. Through the process we can distill words down to their purest meanings. Numerology teaches us that every word has a numeric value associated with it, based on the letters it contains. This value enables us to grasp and understand the inherent meaning of the word.
When we as humans try to define love, we do so through the lens of personal experience. The benefit of numerology is that it leaves nothing to interpretation.
In the ancient language of Aramaic, a pure and original root language the word love has the numerical value of thirteen. The word ONE has the same numerical value as well as the word CARE. Let’s look at these three words and what their essential bond is. “When we experience oneness – when we truly care for another as we care for ourselves – this is love.” (Kabbalah on love by Yehuda Berg) In order to do this we have to be willing to open ourselves. This means to become vulnerable and seen. We more importantly have to be willing to see the mirror image of our soul in another. This is the breaking down of the labeling of separateness that we have been programmed to see. The love we each hope and search for has never been anywhere outside of ourselves, but the way we can experience this great love of self is revealed in the mirror while we lay in the arms of our lover.
As we soul gaze and take in the light reflections in their eyes we see the twinkle of our light flashing back at us. Each time we place our hand on their chest and breathe deeply, feeling their heart beats and flesh we are actually feeling our own. We may each carry a heart in a physical form but we come to realize that we are not the sole owners of this beautiful powerhouse of energy and love as we give it away in a soul union kiss. The courage it takes for us to do this is far greater than any maiden forced to walk a plank on a pirate’s ship. The fear of rejection, the fear of loss, the fear that what we feel and are seeing in another could be stripped away in a moment with the loss of this being. What are we to do if we give our heart to another and they decide somewhere down the road we are walking on that they want to take a different path with someone else? What if they die? Certainly we too will die. It is in times like this that we find our strength in the acceptance of the reality that we cannot lose our heart, our love or our soul. We will never lose this other beautiful manifestation of the divine that we found ourselves captivated by and sharing this life with. We cannot because we are all ONE. Through the true unity of mankind to each other and to the universe around us we can experience even in great times of sorrow a greater depth of love. We see how each moment with this person significantly impacted our life and allowed us to meet ourselves at a level that we would have not if they had not helped us to circumcise our heart.
We only lose out on this perfect true love if we start building the walls of the prisons and installing soldiers to stand guard again at the fortress of our heart. Only then do we block ourselves from the purity of what has ALWAYS been with us. The purity and divinity of God’s love, OUR love, the love of our soul-mates.
Remaining open and willing to walk the path, no matter how scary it may be is the ONLY way to assure our resurrection of self, our ascension to a higher state of conscious loving while in our mortal physical realm.
Stop and take a moment today to look in the mirror and ask yourself: “Have I loved?”
Stop settling for the superficial Hollywood love. You want richness, intimacy, desire and fulfillment. You want to feel yourself loving and sexing. You want to feel yourself plunging deeper into your relationships and being embraced by the mirror of your soul, your lover.
It is time for man to connect his cock and heart and realize that to open a woman into love you have to touch her heart first. Connect there; breathe with her, look her in the eyes without expectation of sex. Go deeper. Press yourself into her with your soul and breathe. Leave your erection for playtime another day. Lead your woman with your masculine energy into her heart where she will open and embrace yours. As she opens here so will her body physically. She will pull you into her and ask you to dance in her universe. She will beg you to take her physically and she will weep in your arms in sheer bliss knowing that you loved her first with your heart and soul.
We’re on the brink of going back to the future in medicine.
Stem cells, genes and transplants are getting the headlines, but the bigger story may be that medicine is advancing beyond the biomedical model and embracing medical pluralism.
The overwhelming trend is the integration of orthodox medicine, defined by its pharmaceuticals and invasive techniques, with other ancient, old-fashioned and unconventional healing practices.
The future of medicine, it seems, is not only in the high-tech laboratory and the surgical suite but also on the NST and massage tables, at the herbalists and the health food store, behind the therapist’s closed door, but most especially in the cerebral hemisphere ã the mind.
This week’s edition of Annals Of Internal Medicine, the August journal of the conservative American College of Physicians-American Society of Internal Medicine, kicks off an unprecedented series on complementary and alternative medicine.
And they take the subject seriously, referring to “postmodern medical diversity.” It’s probably the first time that Haitian “vodun”, hair analysis, crystals, magnets and charismatic healing have all been mentioned without derision in the pages of Annals.
Authored by David Eisenberg, MD, and Ted Kaptchuk, OMD (Doctor of Oriental Medicine) of Harvard Medical School and its division of complementary and integrative medical therapies, the series considers everything from acupuncture to iridology to chicken soup to Reiki to vitamins to “ethno-medicine.”
“The alternative medicine `boom’ is not new,” Kaptchuk says. “What’s new is that orthodox medicine has abandoned the crusade against alternative medicine and is trying to accommodate widespread patient belief and acceptance of these practices.”
MDs are unlikely to suddenly start recommending copper bracelets to combat arthritis or stopping a nosebleed by placing a a red string around the neck, but they are acknowledging that a patient’s belief in healing properties may be just as powerful in many medical situations as the interventions of the physician.
In this week’s issue of the journal Science, there’s stunning testimony from University of British Columbia researchers about how the mind can heal the body. Their study suggests that the placebo effect in Parkinson’s disease produces the same neurological outcome as active drugs used to treat Parkinson’s: an increase in dopamine release by neurons impaired by the disease.
The placebo effect occurs when individuals take an inactive substance, rather than an active drug, and experience beneficial effects only because they believe they’re receiving beneficial treatment.
“The magnitude of the placebo effect was surprising,” admits UBC researcher Ral de la Fuente-Ferny¥ndez. “The greater the expectation, the greater the effect of the mind’s healing power.”
He adds, “This paper shows that there must be a bridge between traditional medicine and natural medicine.”
In studies of the impact of psychological therapies on longevity in patients with metastatic cancers, Ontario Cancer Institute senior scientist Alastair Cunningham found an association between intense spiritual work and longer survival.
“The psychological dimension offers promise for the treatment of many physical diseases,” writes Cunningham in the forthcoming issue of Advances In Mind-Body Medicine, an innovative, peer-reviewed scholarly journal published in the U.S.
“Modern medicine is conservative,” says Cunningham. “My approach is to try to play on the medical playing field and give evidence.”
Scientific, evidence-based proof of the placebo effect and the psychological dimension is only one reason for the dramatic shift right now toward inclusiveness and away from the historical antagonism to alternative practices by the medical establishment, say the Annals authors.
“People generally adopt multiple healing practices, even when biomedicine is generally available,” note the Annals authors.
This sheer force of numbers comes at the same time as a trend toward consumer-oriented medicine and away from “doctor knows best.”
More and more, the increasingly sophisticated patient is an educated partner in medical decisions. Knowledgeable health consumers are letting the medical profession know they want inclusive medicine.
The medical profession is responding for two reasons. First, there’s money to be made from patients, since most alternative services must be paid for privately.
But with the US leading the way, there’s also more funding for alternative and complementary medicine. American researchers vie for grants from the prestigious National Institutes of Health’s Office of Alternative Medicine. And insurance providers such as HMOs in the US are beginning to realize that alternative practices can be just as effective and a lot cheaper than expensive high-tech interventions.
But what may appear to be new and cutting-edge is only a change in perception and attitude by orthodox medicine, maintains Harvard’s Kaptchuk, co-author of the Annals article.
“I’m so bored with people being hypocritical and pretending that all this is new, rather than saying that they’ve changed standards,” he says. “That’s a kind of distortion, not looking at the reality of the phenomena. It’s the response that’s different. What is new is that conventional medicine has to redefine its relationship to this phenomena.”
Kaptchuk claims that orthodox medicine’s nascent inclusiveness of complementary and alternative medicine is “a breathless attempt to co-opt it.”
“It’s market-driven,” he says, with distaste. His cynicism is understandable.
“In 1970 I was arrested in Cambridge (Mass.) for practicing medicine without a license,” Kaptchuk says. “Now I’m a professor at Harvard Medical School.”
Authored by Judy Gerstel
The Star.com August 10, 2001
What magnificent men we can be!
An important aspect of the journey for almost every woman who comes to share a healing journey with us, is reclaiming her Yoni. Establishing a relationship and taking back a part of herself, that was mostly separate from the rest of her being.
This is very different from men’s relationship with their Lingam (Penis), so I always thought. Last week, I had a revelation about this. Men don’t have an emotional relationship with their Lingam. The connection is functional, at best it includes a level of pleasure which is mostly external, and is filled with “Macho Mythology”. This relationship is also and often run through with anxiety and fear.
It’s true that through sheer body geography men have a more direct and easier relationship with their genitals. We touch it more in the course of a day, in ways that have nothing to do with sex. It’s external, more visible than a Yoni. We see it, we’re aware of it.
Intellectually aware, recognition aware.
Not emotionally aware.
For most men, sex is a genital experience. It’s body limited, all the sensation is in the Lingam and the pelvis. Occasionally there’s a heart connection, but that’s external. That’s the connection with a partner.
But it’s not with my own heart. There’s no tenderness, there’s no gentleness, there’s no sensuality in terms of My Self, and My Lingam. Me as a sexual and sensual being in my own right.
The ownership is goal oriented, erection and orgasm. Which is functional.
We’ve made it emotional by saying that when we’ve done that, when we’ve achieved that, that’s the sexual expression of being a man fulfilled.
The fear and anxiety of size, performance and pressure to please a partner is all directed outwards. We haven’t taken emotional ownership of ourselves as sexual beings.
The impact of this, is limitation, severe limitation of our feelings, our sensations, and our experiences. Full body orgasms, multiple orgasms, expanded orgasmic states, Lingam Heart opening, Slow Union, melting orgasms, sexual meditation, all of these are inaccessible. They’re for women, and a few weird Tantric dudes.
We can have so much more, much deeper, more satisfying and more fulfilling experiences. For Ourselves. We can know much more of ourselves, express and experience more of ourselves. Which allows us to share more with our partners.
Which allows what’s between us, what we touch, feel and share, to expand.
For there to be more between us, because there’s more within us.
What magnificent men we can be!
Learn more about Jonti Searll and the workshops/sessions he guides at Tantra Evolution
This testimony was shared with me today from a very special client of mine. A divine man opening to his heart and purpose one step at a time. Just in the few energetic bodywork sessions we have done I have seen and felt GREAT changes in his whole being. I am so proud of you Matthew. keep shining and flying free. You DO deserve EVERYTHING!
Chakra Balancing – Energetic Bodywork Session
You are the Bright Star illuminating the path for me and others to travel freely.The emotional tug of wars going on inside me since seeing you today has been draining while energizing at the same time. It wasn’t 45 seconds after I was in the truck before the drama started. ( Family, Work, and Friends) It seemed that all 7 of them needed it NOW dammit, and I was 25 miles from any of them. In the most recent past I would’ve still handled all the issues but in a very different manner. How dare 7 different individuals interfere with my peace today, this was the first thought that went through my mind. Then I remembered one of the first things that you taught me, BREATHE, so I did. And you know when I took that first breath, deep way down into my root chakra, I knew something fundamental immediately. I was learning how to love myself, how could I expect those that I was interacting with to act differently just because I am. Their thoughts, actions, and attitudes are as loveless as mine have been for the last 42 years.
Change starts with me, if others are to learn to understand that we all have this burning energy inside, then I must show the way. I will do this by transforming who I have been into who I am meant to be thru the divinity in me and those around me.
With regards to the session today I would like to share my feelings with you and I don’t know why? I don’t really know you but I feel that you are real and since I make a living off of reading people (hence my cynicism to life) I will go with that truth.
I am shamed that I wasn’t more open. I want to travel this path and quickly (to make up for lost time) therefore I must be honest. Today’s time with you was and still is the most satisfying time I have had in many years. I FEEL, really FEEL mental clarity, physical strength, emotional uncertainty – vulnerability. I wonder at your courage, how strong you are to share a piece of your soul with someone you barely know. Can I too grow to the level of understanding love, that I am able to be free with others without fear of judgment or condemnation. I am sharing this next part because I feel it is important for me as a breakthrough. This was a complete and pure feeling of satisfaction as defined sexually wow that was difficult to say. Put into a sexual description – I have never experienced the purity that you shared with me today. I can’t remember the last time I felt this way.
Others come to me all the time for help-consul-a sounding board if you will. I have held others as they pour out their pain but I have never been on the receiving end (was raised saying love but not showing it, you know men don’t show that sissy crap) . All my life family, friends, co-workers with issues are drawn to me or I to them like a magnet. I had grown cold, distant, and indifferent, when dealing with my life issues let alone anyone elses. There was a time when I joyed in helping others, but that feeling has long since faded. The feeling from today is just more than I can put into words or even describe. I feel like I am young and purposeful again.
Thanks for listening.
With much love and appreciation,