Why Burn the Bridge?

Change Your World

by Brian Tracy

 

“You cannot change the world,

But you can present the world with one improved person –

Yourself.

You can go to work on yourself to make yourself

Into the kind of person you admire and respect.

You can become a role model and set a standard for others.

You can control and discipline yourself to resist acting

Or speaking in a negative way Toward anyone for any reason.

You can insist upon always doing things the loving way,

Rather than the hurtful way.

By doing these things each day,

You can continue on your journey

Toward becoming an exceptional human being.”

 

maythebridgesRecently I made a status update on facebook that said, “May the bridges I burn Light the way.” A response that I received was, “It would be tough to build a new bridge, why would you burn it?”  We have all heard the advice, Don’t burn your bridges, once burnt you can not cross them again. And this is true! for most cases. Sometimes though we have to STOP and look at what in our life is no longer serving us. What is holding us back? When we analyze this we may be shocked to discover the changes that we need to make. No soul that has ever made a significant impact on the world, a community or even in a business has heeded the advice of not burning a bridge that is no longer serving them. Granted it is wise advice it is also advice that stems from fear based thinking. Instead look at what changes need to unfold and allow the light of the burning bridges to guide your path. The bridges we may choose to burn may be big or small, they may be relationships, commitments that overwhelm us, business ventures that have been crashing for all too long and we have not had the courage to do what is needed, or they may be going cold turkey with a unhealthy habit. No matter if you have been feeling the need to “have the talk with someone” or putting in your resignation, know that true transformation and growth only come to those who have the courage to burn the bridges that are no longer needed.

 

Often we find that once a bridge is burned we can no longer return to the other side, but who wants to step backwards in life anyway?

 

burning-bridgesThere are times that what seems like burning of a bridge is actually not. It is actually the birthing of a new energy in the way we perceive or handle something. Many years ago when I was but a teenager I found myself madly in-love with a young man. We spent many an afternoon planning our future together. Every detail was a accounted for. There was NO WAY that we would ever part ways, life would surly be over if we did. One Spring afternoon my boyfriend came to me, walked with me as he did every day on his work break, we ate, talked and kissed. We walked back to where we would kiss and part for a few more hours and as he stepped onto the bus he was the driver for this day I could feel my heart squeeze tight. Something was different. Something was wrong. He was saying goodbye but not with his words or actions. His energy said it all. He smiled and drove away. I shoved my feelings to the side and went back to work myself. Later that day and for weeks to come I found myself calling him, going to his apartment, checking with his aunt, mother, grandmother, and roommates. Where was he? Was he okay? Alive? Arrested? No one would tell me anything. It was beyond my reason, to imagine that he had just left me without even a goodbye or explanation. We were soul mates. Lovers. Engaged.

 

holdinghandsTears pored from my eyes day in and day out. I could not eat. Sleep or communicate. My world had been shattered. I was depressed, wanted to die without him. I was raged by his weakness to not face me in person. I was scared that something horrible had happened to him. The bridge of our beautiful relationship and life together was on fire. It was burning and there was nothing I could do about it. He had set the fire and I had no way of saving it from turning to ash.

 

Over 10 years went by when one day we were magically brought back together.

 

Both living our lives, married, children, careers. Both still wondering about and loving the other. In our first speaking I knew that the bridge that was burnt had to be for each of us to grow and emerge into the people we are today. I knew that the course of our lives needed the light from that first bridge to help us find our way to a higher vibration. In the end because of the burning of the first bridge we today still find ourselves elevated in love with each other. We find ourselves in a deep relationship of understanding and friendship. The bridge we walk today is far grander  then the one of the past and we are far stronger souls because we allowed the old perceptions of the reality we thought we should have turn to ash and be carried in the winds of time to nurture and fertilize the reality we are living today. It has been over 5 years since the construction of the this new bridge and each day I count my blessings for the light shone to me from the original one’s fire.

 

Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, so can our soul paths on this spiritual journey called life.

“God has prepared a path for everyone to follow. You just have to read the omens that he left for you.” The Alchemist

 PhoenixRising

 

Performance Anxiety vs. Presence

I’m worried about getting and maintaining my erections…

 By Mare Simone, Advanced Certified Tantra Educator

I frequently encounter clients who, as they mature and their hormone levels shift, they begin to lose faith in their own sexuality.

Men become victims of the myth of the Perpetual Erection.  It has always existed, but it’s become even more destructive because of the way in which the issue is treated in most pornography, which always features a purported Superman.   That’s not reality.  Often porn stars use Viagra or “fluffers”, women whose job it is to keep them aroused and hard for their performance.

 

It often seems as though performance anxiety and the pressure that goes along with it is the culprit that causes impotency and perpetuates it.  Often I’ve found that when a man doesn’t put pressure on himself nor does his partner, the problem resolves itself, just being present and thoroughly enjoying the moment.

In Tantric sex, it’s not so important how hard your erection is, how long it lasts, or whether or not you are even hard at all.

Not only is it possible to have an orgasm without ejaculating, I have also known men who have had profound full body orgasms and multiples, without even being erect!

There are many other delightful ways that you can join with your partner to create great pleasures together, using your hands or mouth that don’t require an erection.

Tantria teaches you: how to channel your sexual energy throughout your entire body and to your partner’s body…  How to have non-genital, full body orgasms…

How to enter into an exquisite spiritual/sexual state… to feel the energy flowing right through you, into your partner and back into you…  creating a continuous stream of energy that flows between you.  It’s incredibly satisfying!  And you can do all this without necessarily having an erection.

Interestingly I have found that when sexual partners are not so concerned about whether the man has a full erection or not, the problem often ceases on its own, without needing to be fixed.

Taking the pressure off and not having to perform gives way for a deeper more gratifying experience of relaxed arousal and tremendous pleasure.

Mare Simone is an Advanced Certified Tantra Educator through the Source School of Tantra Yoga and lives in Southern California.  She travels the world teaching Tantra.  You can read more about her at www.maresimone.com.

Article Originally Posted on Source Tantra Blog

The Marriage

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly, I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore.

Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears.

I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

What EVERY man & woman should know! – Why some women are closed to pleasure.

Vaginal pain is the number one reason why marriages are unconsummated, but treating and healing this condition is possible. Tinamarie discusses this all-to-common problem and reveals publically for the first time her experiences with a sexually debilitating condition.

For years, I thought I was a one of a kind freak, not knowing that there was a name for what ailed me or that twenty million American women suffering from the same condition. In my case, I can’t remember when it started, though by the time I was in my early thirties it had gone on for years and wrecked havoc with my sex life, self-esteem and marriage.
After that union dissolved, I recall crying to my therapist that as far as I was concerned, nothing bigger than a Q-tip was going to go near my tender parts ever again. As for orgasms, and their usual sidekicks like kissing, holding, touch and pleasure, my body was destined to perpetual skin-hunger.
Little did I know that healing was a few orgasms away…

Closed for Pleasure

First, however, I had to understand the etiology of my diagnosis, vulvar vestibulitis (say that three times fast), which is just one a form of dyspareunia (pain upon penetrative sex).  Sex that hurts for whatever reason is more prevalent than once thought – three in fifty adult women worldwide will be diagnosed – making dyspareunia almost as common as diabetes (8.6 percent) and cervical cancer (7.9 percent), though you are pressed to find many open discussions about the causes, treatments and cures of sex that hurts.
Seriously, who wants to admit their vagina had become a Do Not Enter zone? Sonia Borg, PhD, a clinical sexologist sex educator and author of several books including the upcoming Marathon Sex: Incredible Lovemaking Experiences Hotter and Longer Than You’ve Ever Done It Before (Quiver Books, January 2012), points out that for many, talking about sex is simply taboo. When it comes to sexual dysfunctions, confessions are rarer still.
“Talking about personal problems that we don’t know how to fix or manage can bring up emotions that are simply too overwhelming,” Borg explains. “Also, some imagined implications may be that the partner is being hurtful, insensitive, or that the couple just doesn’t know how to do it, ‘right.’”
This was the hardened terrain that stymied me from seeking help. When I wasn’t grimacing during sex, I’d yelp, push my husband off of me, and learned to live without affection, tampons and tight jeans.  For six years, shame silenced me, though really, I’m a lucky one. Most women’s private hell lasts an average of 10 years before they find answers and relief. Remissions are common, causes are speculative at best — sexual assault, pelvic surgery, guilt and allergies are all implicated culprits — and through it all, the agony is very, very real.

Yoni Whispers

I might have endured life with VV until my labia withered, except on a lark — a rare sexual encounter — I got pregnant and could no longer avoid the speculum or the fact that something was very, very amiss with my body.  My doctor, Dr. Lissa Rankin diagnosed me with the q-tip test (This involves using the sterilized tip to gently touch the vestibular glands just past the opening of the vagina. These glands produce vaginal lubrication, and just touching them with a q-tip can recreate the pelvic inferno). This was the start of a slow recovery that included buying sex toys (doctor’s orders!), and learning to be honest with myself, and future lovers.
Most importantly, my yoni was whispering something to me, one vaginal clench at a time, and it was time I paid attention to my secret erotic self if I ever wanted to experience bliss again.

I Heart My Vagina

Dr. Rankin is one of the rare medical voices who acknowledges how little medicine knows about painful sex or that the common treatments offer limited help. There is, “no quick fix, no pill to swallow, no surgery to cure the pain, no magic wand to make things different,” Rankin has written about her decade long bout with painful sex. “I knew I would have to do the work. But I also knew my condition was 100 percent curable,” she explained, “If I was brave enough to do whatever it would take.”
The scariest part of that journey was acknowledging that my body knew something long before I did — my relationship was toxic. Fear and resentment were the wrong bedfellows for any viable marriage, though these two had taken up residence before VV came knocking on the door. Spiritually speaking, I was bankrupt, and if my brain refused to acknowledge the obvious, my hooch was keen on setting the record straight. Move on, my dear, she was saying, to loving pastures.

Eradicating Shame

In a world that separates the soulful from the sexual and heaps on piles of guilt for enjoying the latter, it’s understandable that for many women, one common denominator is often “some form of sexual guilt,” says Borg who has worked with clients experiencing painful intercourse.
“We all have programming buried deep in our subconscious (which never forgets) and some of that programming no longer serves us.” It could be as simple as a parent teaching a child that ‘sex is naughty,’ she explains.  “The child grows into an adult, with normal natural desires for sex.  The adult now lives those desires out, but there are emotionalized triggers, which can turn a normally pleasurable experience into a painful one.”
While we use different language — I view the prism of my healing through a spiritual lens — the outcome is the same. “The subconscious mind has its own language and one of the ways it communicates is by showing signs and symptoms in the body,” says Borg.

Putting Pussy First

Over the years, I’ve spoken to a number of women, many of whom were healed almost ‘magically’ by discarding a relationship that no longer served them. In many cases, these are women who, like me, developed an, ‘allergic emotional reaction’ to an intimate partner. Once the relationship was dissolved we found of inner wantonness, and learned to pay attention to our bodies, knowing that pleasure is a corporal blessing. Honor our bodies, honor ourselves could be the motto for any woman post-diagnosis seeking to keep VV in remission.
I cannot imagine how difficult it might be for women whose experiences with painful sex are a result of sexual assault, violence, abuse and surgery; though Borg points out that regardless of etiology, sexual wounds can all respond to conscious love.  “We are holistic and energetic beings so everything affects everything else,” she points out.
It sounds cliché yet it’s true. Vulvar vestibulitis launched my erotic journey from sexual starvation to satisfaction. Listening to what my body was aching for helped me rediscover how important a robust sexuality is to emotional, physical and spiritual wellbeing. Against the backdrop of a culture that thrusts sex upon us, and glorifies physicality at the expense sometimes of real intimacy, VV helped me connect my primal needs with sacred sensuality.
After all, the soul craves ecstasy too and oftentimes our inner Goddess is just picky about whom she wants to explore it with.
Article Origin: EdenFantasys.com

Circumsizing the Heart

Recently I experienced truly being made love to. A deep penetration and opening into a transformative healing bliss.  It has been years since I felt anything remotely close to this event and if I am completely honest with myself I believe that I perhaps have never been touched so deeply by such pureness before.

I read once in a David Deida book (uncertain which one) that a woman will stay in love with a man even though they are no longer physically together until another man can penetrate her deeper with his love then the prior. Deida is NOT referring to the size of a man’s cock here; he is referring to the ability to open a woman into love. Sometimes a man will use all his tools to do this but the most important one is his heart.  Connecting heart chakra to heart chakra he breathes’s into his woman. Causing her to be breathless and surrender into something deeper than a physical connection. Sex is not always needed for this depth of loving. Matter a fact, as I am about to share my tale with you, the connection and trust building, unconditional loving that happens without the sexual union is profound and very Tantric.

“Being of curious nature and having my soul cry out for me to follow my heart and explore what I already knew was there but was having trouble logically explaining I decided to be daring and have lunch with a young man who had captivated me from the first time we met. This was not our first lunch. It was obvious that we had shared feelings toward each other; yet I am curious with caution. We ate, we enjoyed conversation, we looked into each other’s eyes and we laughed at each other’s silliness and imperfect joke telling skills. Nerves a wreck for both parties. As the time went by the sexual energy heated up between us without physical connection or words to help guide it. It just was there. Not long later, I found myself feeling alive; it was an incredible energetic vibration of life force that took over my whole being, stronger than any energy that I experience in my session work even. There I lay, on my back, breathless from his kisses. Wanting him to take me, wanting to be fucked wide open by this man. Wanting him to heal my wounds with his love. To penetrate me in ALL ways. And scared out of my mind of what that could mean. Each kiss brought with it more depth, more connection. His hands on my face, in my hair, touching my neck. His body leaning on mine as he braced himself over me. I could feel all of him wanting to be with me physically. His arousal at that level was only elevating my own.

Time seemed to stop. The world and all that it would have us long to achieve no longer mattered. As he pressed himself into me withhis heart chakra I felt myself.  I have been birthing myself for some time now, but in this moment with his presence and ability to hold space and give powerful love I truly discovered a deep abiding love. It has always been in there, it is there for each of us. As the tears swelled in my eyes, and gently slid down my cheeks I could feel soft rain drops from his eyes cascading down on me as well. I opened my eyes to look into his. A smile on his face, his chest hot from the energy passing between us. I could feel the protective shields of my heart being circumcised and my nakedness of soul as Rumi would poetically title it being revealed. Was I revealing myself in total vulnerability to him in this moment? Yes. But more importantly I was seeing myself for the first time in a long while. There we were two physically separate beings yet I felt as though I had remembered and returned home to the deep being that I already was. I was united with this man, with the world and all her peoples. It was unity of soul. Each beat of my heart stripping away the clothes of my stories.

The pain in my chest was almost unbearable in this moment. I could feel my heart literally bursting in the light of love. I could feel him connected and his heart reacting similar. My chest soft, my lips slightly open. This bliss, this pain of circumcision that was healing, cleansing my core being was divine. It was pure and it was unconditional loving. Our souls seeing themselves in another and entwining in this dance, loving us wide open if we were willing to allow it.”

The depth of intensity and love found between us in this moment exceeded what our world is taught to believe love is. The physical act of sexing was not needed.  We were experiencing oneness, a deep caring and seeing ourselves within each other. Through this reunification of ours souls we each sailed in new waters,
discovering that the waves of love we felt toward each other were always
harbored within ourselves.  The truth of this love was revealed in this moment because we could each step outside of our selfish natures of ego and love penetratingly without the need for sexual release.

99.9% of our world believes that they are in love when in fact they are in desperate need. This is because we have been lead to believe that love is all about us and our needs. When in fact need is the exact opposite of actual true love. They could not contradict each other anymore. When we try and fulfill our own needs instead of find love we search for love in all the wrong places, find ourselves attracted to all the wrong people, unhappy and unfulfilled within our relationships. Our hunt to satisfy our needs masked by the beautiful thought of love causes our destruction; it is the root to divorce and break ups; pain and anger.

According to the ancient spiritual technology of Kabbalah the mystery of love can be broken down within the word itself: LOVE

How?

Let’s look at the numbers. A.K.A  Numerology. Now I know that many of my
readers may not even believe in such a supposed hocus pocus thing as
numerology, but please just humor me here.

Have you ever taken a sip of distilled water? Distilled water is free of all impurities.  A process called distillation, which involves boiling the liquid and letting the steam condense into water again, filters out all contaminants. The end result is untainted, undeniably thirst-quenching H20.

This is the same as numerology. Through the process we can distill words down to their purest meanings.  Numerology teaches us that every word has a numeric value associated with it, based on the letters it contains. This value enables us to grasp and understand the inherent meaning of the word.

When we as humans try to define love, we do so through the lens of personal experience. The benefit of numerology is that it leaves nothing to interpretation.

In the ancient language of Aramaic, a pure and original root language the word love has the numerical value of thirteen. The word ONE has the same numerical value as well as the word CARE. Let’s look at these three words and what their essential bond is. “When we experience oneness – when we truly care for another as we care for ourselves – this is love.” (Kabbalah on love by Yehuda Berg) In order to do this we have to be willing to open ourselves. This means to become vulnerable and seen. We more importantly have to be willing to see the mirror image of our soul in another. This is the breaking down of the labeling of separateness that we have been programmed to see. The love we each hope and search for has never been anywhere outside of ourselves, but the way we can experience this great love of self is revealed in the mirror while we lay in the arms of our lover.

 

As we soul gaze and take in the light reflections in their eyes we see the twinkle of our light flashing back at us. Each time we place our hand on their chest and breathe deeply, feeling their heart beats and flesh we are actually feeling our own. We may each carry a heart in a physical form but we come to realize that we are not the sole owners of this beautiful powerhouse of energy and love as we give it away in a soul union kiss. The courage it takes for us to do this is far greater than any maiden forced to walk a plank on a pirate’s ship. The fear of rejection, the fear of loss, the fear that what we feel and are seeing in another could be stripped away in a moment with the loss of this being. What are we to do if we give our heart to another and they decide somewhere down the road we are walking on that they want to take a different path with someone else? What if they die? Certainly we too will die. It is in times like this that we find our strength in the acceptance of the reality that we cannot lose our heart, our love or our soul. We will never lose this other beautiful manifestation of the divine that we found ourselves captivated by and sharing this life with. We cannot because we are all ONE. Through the true unity of mankind to each other and to the universe around us we can experience even in great times of sorrow a greater depth of love. We see how each moment with this person significantly impacted our life and allowed us to meet ourselves at a level that we would have not if they had not helped us to circumcise our heart.

We only lose out on this perfect true love if we start building the walls of the prisons and installing soldiers to stand guard again at the fortress of our heart. Only then do we block ourselves from the purity of what has ALWAYS been with us. The purity and divinity of God’s love, OUR love, the love of our soul-mates.

Remaining open and willing to walk the path, no matter how scary it may be is the ONLY way to assure our resurrection of self, our ascension to a higher state of conscious loving while in our mortal physical realm.

Stop and take a moment today to look in the mirror and ask yourself: “Have I loved?”

Stop settling for the superficial Hollywood love. You want richness, intimacy, desire and fulfillment. You want to feel yourself loving and sexing. You want to feel yourself plunging deeper into your relationships and being embraced by the mirror of your soul, your lover.

It is time for man to connect his cock and heart and realize that to open a woman into love you have to touch her heart first. Connect there; breathe with her, look her in the eyes without expectation of sex. Go deeper. Press yourself into her with your soul and breathe. Leave your erection for playtime another day. Lead your woman with your masculine energy into her heart where she will open and embrace yours. As she opens here so will her body physically. She will pull you into her and ask you to dance in her universe. She will beg you to take her physically and she will weep in your arms in sheer bliss knowing that you loved her first with your heart and soul.

 

 

Traditional Medicine Starts To Examine Alternative Therapies

We’re on the brink of going back to the future in medicine.

Stem cells, genes and transplants are getting the headlines, but the bigger story may be that medicine is advancing beyond the biomedical model and embracing medical pluralism.

The overwhelming trend is the integration of orthodox medicine, defined by its pharmaceuticals and invasive techniques, with other ancient, old-fashioned and unconventional healing practices.

The future of medicine, it seems, is not only in the high-tech laboratory and the surgical suite but also on the NST and massage tables, at the herbalists and the health food store, behind the therapist’s closed door, but most especially in the cerebral hemisphere ã the mind.

This week’s edition of Annals Of Internal Medicine, the August journal of the conservative American College of Physicians-American Society of Internal Medicine, kicks off an unprecedented series on complementary and alternative medicine.

And they take the subject seriously, referring to “postmodern medical diversity.” It’s probably the first time that Haitian “vodun”, hair analysis, crystals, magnets and charismatic healing have all been mentioned without derision in the pages of Annals.

Authored by David Eisenberg, MD, and Ted Kaptchuk, OMD (Doctor of Oriental Medicine) of Harvard Medical School and its division of complementary and integrative medical therapies, the series considers everything from acupuncture to iridology to chicken soup to Reiki to vitamins to “ethno-medicine.”

“The alternative medicine `boom’ is not new,” Kaptchuk says. “What’s new is that orthodox medicine has abandoned the crusade against alternative medicine and is trying to accommodate widespread patient belief and acceptance of these practices.”

MDs are unlikely to suddenly start recommending copper bracelets to combat arthritis or stopping a nosebleed by placing a a red string around the neck, but they are acknowledging that a patient’s belief in healing properties may be just as powerful in many medical situations as the interventions of the physician.

In this week’s issue of the journal Science, there’s stunning testimony from University of British Columbia researchers about how the mind can heal the body. Their study suggests that the placebo effect in Parkinson’s disease produces the same neurological outcome as active drugs used to treat Parkinson’s: an increase in dopamine release by neurons impaired by the disease.

The placebo effect occurs when individuals take an inactive substance, rather than an active drug, and experience beneficial effects only because they believe they’re receiving beneficial treatment.

“The magnitude of the placebo effect was surprising,” admits UBC researcher Ral de la Fuente-Ferny¥ndez. “The greater the expectation, the greater the effect of the mind’s healing power.”

He adds, “This paper shows that there must be a bridge between traditional medicine and natural medicine.”

In studies of the impact of psychological therapies on longevity in patients with metastatic cancers, Ontario Cancer Institute senior scientist Alastair Cunningham found an association between intense spiritual work and longer survival.

“The psychological dimension offers promise for the treatment of many physical diseases,” writes Cunningham in the forthcoming issue of Advances In Mind-Body Medicine, an innovative, peer-reviewed scholarly journal published in the U.S.

“Modern medicine is conservative,” says Cunningham. “My approach is to try to play on the medical playing field and give evidence.”

Scientific, evidence-based proof of the placebo effect and the psychological dimension is only one reason for the dramatic shift right now toward inclusiveness and away from the historical antagonism to alternative practices by the medical establishment, say the Annals authors.

“People generally adopt multiple healing practices, even when biomedicine is generally available,” note the Annals authors.

This sheer force of numbers comes at the same time as a trend toward consumer-oriented medicine and away from “doctor knows best.”

More and more, the increasingly sophisticated patient is an educated partner in medical decisions. Knowledgeable health consumers are letting the medical profession know they want inclusive medicine.

The medical profession is responding for two reasons. First, there’s money to be made from patients, since most alternative services must be paid for privately.

But with the US leading the way, there’s also more funding for alternative and complementary medicine. American researchers vie for grants from the prestigious National Institutes of Health’s Office of Alternative Medicine. And insurance providers such as HMOs in the US are beginning to realize that alternative practices can be just as effective and a lot cheaper than expensive high-tech interventions.

But what may appear to be new and cutting-edge is only a change in perception and attitude by orthodox medicine, maintains Harvard’s Kaptchuk, co-author of the Annals article.

“I’m so bored with people being hypocritical and pretending that all this is new, rather than saying that they’ve changed standards,” he says. “That’s a kind of distortion, not looking at the reality of the phenomena. It’s the response that’s different. What is new is that conventional medicine has to redefine its relationship to this phenomena.”

Kaptchuk claims that orthodox medicine’s nascent inclusiveness of complementary and alternative medicine is “a breathless attempt to co-opt it.”

“It’s market-driven,” he says, with distaste. His cynicism is understandable.

“In 1970 I was arrested in Cambridge (Mass.) for practicing medicine without a license,” Kaptchuk says. “Now I’m a professor at Harvard Medical School.”

Authored by Judy Gerstel

The Star.com August 10, 2001

What magnificent men we can be! — by Jonti Searll

What magnificent men we can be!

An important aspect of the journey for almost every woman who comes to share a healing journey with us, is reclaiming her Yoni. Establishing a relationship and taking back a part of herself, that was mostly separate from the rest of her being.

This is very different from men’s relationship with their Lingam (Penis), so I always thought. Last week, I had a revelation about this. Men don’t have an emotional relationship with their Lingam. The connection is functional, at best it includes a level of pleasure which is mostly external, and is filled with “Macho Mythology”. This relationship is also and often run through with anxiety and fear.

It’s true that through sheer body geography men have a more direct and easier relationship with their genitals. We touch it more in the course of a day, in ways that have nothing to do with sex. It’s external, more visible than a Yoni. We see it, we’re aware of it.

Intellectually aware, recognition aware.
Not emotionally aware.

For most men, sex is a genital experience. It’s body limited, all the sensation is in the Lingam and the pelvis. Occasionally there’s a heart connection, but that’s external. That’s the connection with a partner.

But it’s not with my own heart. There’s no tenderness, there’s no gentleness, there’s no sensuality in terms of My Self, and My Lingam. Me as a sexual and sensual being in my own right.

The ownership is goal oriented, erection and orgasm. Which is functional.
We’ve made it emotional by saying that when we’ve done that, when we’ve achieved that, that’s the sexual expression of being a man fulfilled.

The fear and anxiety of size, performance and pressure to please a partner is all directed outwards. We haven’t taken emotional ownership of ourselves as sexual beings.

The impact of this, is limitation, severe limitation of our feelings, our sensations, and our experiences. Full body orgasms, multiple orgasms, expanded orgasmic states, Lingam Heart opening, Slow Union, melting orgasms, sexual meditation, all of these are inaccessible. They’re for women, and a few weird Tantric dudes.

We can have so much more, much deeper, more satisfying and more fulfilling experiences. For Ourselves. We can know much more of ourselves, express and experience more of ourselves. Which allows us to share more with our partners.
Which allows what’s between us, what we touch, feel and share, to expand.
For there to be more between us, because there’s more within us.

What magnificent men we can be!

Learn more about Jonti Searll and the workshops/sessions he guides at Tantra Evolution

Becoming the change he wants to see…

This testimony was shared with me today from a very special client of mine. A divine man opening to his heart and purpose one step at a time. Just in the few energetic bodywork sessions we have done I have seen and felt GREAT changes in his whole being. I am so proud of you Matthew. keep shining and flying free. You DO deserve EVERYTHING!

Chakra Balancing – Energetic Bodywork Session

Vega Lyra,

You are the Bright Star illuminating the path for me and others to travel freely.The emotional tug of wars going on inside me since seeing you today has been draining while energizing at the same time. It wasn’t 45 seconds after I was in the truck before the drama started. ( Family, Work, and Friends) It seemed that all 7 of them needed it NOW dammit, and I was 25 miles from any of them. In the most recent past I would’ve still handled all the issues but in a very different manner. How dare 7 different individuals interfere with my peace today, this was the first thought that went through my mind. Then I remembered one of the first things that you taught me, BREATHE, so I did. And you know when I took that first breath, deep way down into my root chakra, I knew something fundamental immediately. I was learning how to love myself, how could I expect those that I was interacting with to act differently just because I am. Their thoughts, actions, and attitudes are as loveless as mine have been for the last 42 years.

 

 Change starts with me, if others are to learn to understand that we all have this burning energy inside, then I must show the way. I will do this by transforming who I have been into who I am meant to be thru the divinity in me and those around me.

With regards to the session today I would like to share my feelings with you and I don’t know why? I don’t really know you but I feel that you are real and since I make a living off of reading people (hence my cynicism to life) I will go with that truth.

I am shamed that I wasn’t more open. I want to travel this path and quickly (to make up for lost time) therefore I must be honest. Today’s time with you was and still is the most satisfying time I have had in many years. I FEEL, really FEEL mental clarity, physical strength, emotional uncertainty – vulnerability. I wonder at your courage, how strong you are to share a piece of your soul with someone you barely know. Can I too grow to the level of understanding love, that I am able to be free with others without fear of judgment or condemnation.   I am sharing this next part because I feel it is important for me as a breakthrough. This was a complete and pure feeling of satisfaction as defined sexually wow that was difficult to say. Put into a sexual description – I have never experienced the purity that you shared with me today. I can’t remember the last time I felt this way.

Others come to me all the time for help-consul-a sounding board if you will. I have held others as they pour out their pain but I have never been on the receiving end (was raised saying love but not showing it, you know men don’t show that sissy crap) . All my life family, friends, co-workers with issues are drawn to me or I to them like a magnet. I had grown cold, distant, and indifferent, when dealing with my life issues let alone anyone elses. There was a time when I joyed in helping others, but that feeling has long since faded. The feeling from today is just more than I can put into words or even describe. I feel like I am young and purposeful again.

Thanks for listening.

With much love and appreciation,

Matthew S.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Unholy Hungers

I am a vampire!

There are a group of male vampires at a competitive sporting event. Only ONE will be the winner. I know who he is; it has already been seen through my mind’s eye. My premonitions never fail me. The game is all about the hunt, the chase and the kill! I am the prey. We are in some sort of lumber mill. I am running. My breath is quickening. There to my side is a male vampire; he hisses at me and attacks. I kill him with my bare hands and bite his neck, letting his limp body drop to the ground. Then I come upon this dark haired, dark eyes Italian looking man; he will be the winner. Coming up from behind on all fours like a lion stalking its kill, I cross over a large stack of lumber with great ease and a feather touch.

I ask, “Why is it that you men have to be so damn handsome? I know it is to trap your prey, but what of us who are of the same blood? You are going to be asked to hunt me, kill me, and eat me. However, as a dying girl, I ask that you make love to me first. Fuck me! Is that so wrong?”

He looks up at me with cold fiery black eyes. God he’s good looking. I am the one who is hungry. He smiles a devilish grin. We are interrupted in that moment. The group of male vampires and judges approach us. They announce his winning. They set forth a small golden winged fairy, she is delicate and from a time past and a distant land that is no more. She is the time keeper.

24 hours.

Her wings make a chirping sound with each second that passes. Fluttering around like a humming bird, my heart beats in rhythm.

The lumber mill vanishes and we are standing in the misty moss covered woods. I run with great speed as though flying. There are tall thin bamboo like trees. I hide. Thinking to turn back. My scent, he will follow I know. He is quickly upon me. I should fear for my life, but as he approaches my hunger to be with him is to strong. He grabs me in his strong dominate arms. His strength pressing against me from all sides. I feel his life force. I feel his manhood. I feel his light, his shadow and passion.

The fairy is fluttering by us.

“Twist her wings off!” I say demandingly.

He does and she falls to the ground. I make a break and run from him, he is right in step behind me. Through the woods we run. In the mist I see lights, I see mortals. I see a Japanese restaurant. I convince him to follow me and eat to offset his hunger. I am feeling like I am caught in a fast paced memory within a dream. I am dancing in my lust and hunger for him. It is a cannibalistic sort of love.

We are on the chase again. This time we entwine. It is rough, hot, passions fly, hunger at the forefront.

I wake to the morning rain. Mortal and breathing in life.

Vampires are not just imaginary creatures of fiction or legend, they really exist. They are those mortals who have not learned or been given opportunity to love and be loved and instead they settle for power and become experts at robbing others of their vital energies. We have all known a Vampire.

But this dream was not of that. This spiritual tale was of our supposed unholy hungers and desires. Our longings and fantasies. How do we find the courage to step out of the cave of our psychological control, our societal walls and chase what we want? The lust of our spiritual needs. It lies dormant within our blood until one day it awakens and leaves us feeling like the prey being hunted. Our light and our shadow battling to the end and we find ourselves caught between.

Breathless.

Often it is the onset of what is called the Dark Night of the Soul. This is seen everywhere in our world with the massive overtaking of depression and rage. When our cards of transformation have been laid on the table before us, we have no ability to contest. It has been decided and we will now walk a path of what from the outside may appear a road littered with destruction, pain, sorrow, regret and broken bleeding hearts. The ego would have us believe that this will never end, that we will surely not survive. Death perhaps is the best option. We look in the mirror and we see an empty carcass that we once called home. We found ourselves comfortable and attached to a certain image of what we perceived as truth. Now we see it as the mirage it truly was. Our longing to go back in time and change our choices, to walk different paths only stemming from the deep seeded pain we feel. Our physical bodies feeling the spiritual turbulence as the poison of transformation sets into our blood. Everywhere we look we have
memories. We have regrets. Tears fall, rage commands our words, and self
loathing wraps its nasty fingers around our throats masked through our ego as
harsh words and looks from those that love us.

This is a time we walk the shadow lands. The scriptures tell us to walk and fear no evil. They tell us of times that we will lie down in green pastures beside still
waters. Our soul will be renewed and strengthened.

As we cross the ragged bridges of time and see our life drift in the waters of emotion below us we slowly learn to have faith in our steps, for they are guided by a higher power. It is the hands of God that hold us, not the clenching arms of a vampire. Even when the ego bares its fangs and makes us weak from its hunger, it is still God that is administering in the darkness. Our father who art in heaven knows that he cannot show us the light of our pure and true divinity if we do not get through the darkness first. In this overcast we will find rainbows and at the end of each one we will discover, not a pot of gold (no that is for leprechauns), we discover that our pockets are filled with diamonds. And these diamonds have ALWAYS been there. They are our purpose. They are our supposed unholy hungers carefully placed there by no other then God himself. It is through the self-discovery and personal intimacy (INTO-ME-I-SEE) building with our souls that we harvest our birth right. Our Grace!

Once we discover our true radiance we have no fear, we dance with the devil and with vampires. They are our kin only choosing to keep their masks of ego on. We entwine in passionate lustful affairs with handsome strangers and laugh as we drink from our never ending cups of life. We realize that this physical world is our play-land. It is here to help us to become like Merlin. And awaken to the beauty of our own inner Vampire which thirsts for life and is immortal. We are God’s and Goddesses. We are creators and lovers. We are demons, dragons and angels, warriors and princesses. We are spiritual entities experiencing a mortal moment.

What will your moment be like?

The Virus Question

Going the DistanceOften I look around while driving to the office at other people in the rush hour traffic. Some are sitting in their cars talking on cell phones or texting, surfing the net. Others are tapping their fingers on the steering wheel listening to music or just find themselves a tad irritated with the daily grind of another work day and the traffic that comes with it.
Whatever each person is physically doing does not matter nearly as much as the energy that they are doing it with or the look upon their face. So many people are scowling and look totally captured in stressful thought. Worried about a business deal, a proposal or presentation. Will they arrive to work on time or will they be reprimanded for being late, regardless of the fact that there was a 5 car pileup that morning. They sip their coffee or energy drinks as they slinky themselves along the freeway lanes in anguish that yet it is another day where they feel that time would be better spent watching a dead flower grow. Comfort comes in their titles and pay checks. In these they can point and say “I am important.” Never acknowledging their true selves but instead the labels that life has given them.

It does not end at work either. This same dull drum carries into the home front. Into the marriages and intimate relationships that we all value so much. We walk in the doors of our cozy homes, our children playing video games, doing homework, watching TV or off on a date with someone, our spouses tired from a long day of duties themselves. We try to not bring our work home so that we can have quality focused time with the people that we love the dearest. Yet often we are feeling pressure to finish some detail of something and find ourselves distant and un-present with our families. If we are single then we work until the wee hours of the morning on a project wishing that when we turn around we would see this incredible creature that can see us for us and loves us unconditionally lying in bed waiting for our body to curl up next to theirs.

Difficult ChoicesIn the end of our lives if we are not careful to listen to our hearts and souls quiet music that they guide us with, we may find ourselves
bewildered, unfulfilled and full of regrets. One NEVER regrets living more! One
does not regret experiencing more or making love more. One regrets lost
opportunities. Caving to fear and to social boundaries.  One regrets smothering the voice of spirit when the Virus Question is posed at different points of life. The questions that rise up from the depths our souls and cause us to feel butterflies or upset stomachs, nervousness and fear or excitement, these are the questions
that are presented from soul to the logical mind for a reason. The reason comes
back to truly embracing life. Living the experience of life that we were
designed to live.

So what is the “Virus Question” and why is it a virus?

Breaking the Structure

It all comes down to railroad tracks. If you go to the train station today or Google on line, you will learn that the distance between railway tracks is ALWAYS 143.5 centimeters, or 4 feet 8 and half inches. Why is it this measurement?

A: When the first train carriages were built they used the same tools that had been used to build horse-drawn carriages. So why that distance between the wheels and the carriages?

A: Because that was the width of the old roads along which the carriages had to travel. But who decided the width of the roads anyway?

And here is where we do a tad bit of time travel or time warping, quantum jumping, etc. etc. We have to plunge ourselves back into the distant era where soldiers wore short white dresses, had strong sexy backs and legs, and carried upon their heads beautifully designed protective shields (picture Russell Crow or Brad Pitt ladies). A time where Cesar was the ruler of the whole world and Rome was at its center.

The Romans were the great road builders who decided to make
the roads that width. But why?

A: Because their war chariots were pulled by two horses, and
when placed side by side, the horses they used at the time took up 143.5
centimeters.

So think of this when you look at today’s railroad tracks.
The tracks that our state-of-the-art high speed trains use were determined by
the Romans over 2000 years ago.

When ships came to the great America’s to settle the lands
and in time the English settlers decided that they needed to build a railway
that could cover the United States, it did not occur to them to change the
width and so it stayed that way and is that way still today. The effect of the
distance between the tracks determined by the Romans even had a significant
impact on the building of our space shuttles. American engineers thought that
the fuel tanks should be wider, but the tanks were being built in Utah and had
to be transported by train to the Space Center in Florida, and the tunnels
could not take anything wider. So they had to accept the measurement that the
Romans had decided was the ideal.

Now you may find this tale very interesting or be wondering
what the hell I am even talking about it for, and you most certainly are
wondering how the Romans road building has any effect on our marriages and
relationships at all or on any part of our personal lives, since most of us do
not personally use the train system unless we live in a major city center or
have a job with the railroad.

It has everything to do with marriage and relationships.
Especially those that are supposed to be “love-relationships.”

Somewhere along the line someone in our world history stood
up to the plate and said, “When two people get married, they must stay frozen
in time. They must stay like that for the rest of their lives. Till death do
they part. You will move along side by side like two railroad tracks, keeping always
that same distance apart. Even if sometimes one of you needs to be a little
farther away or a little closer, that is against the rules. “

Rules: Be sensible. Think of the future. Think of the
children.

Masking the WildYou can’t change; you must be like two railway tracks that remain the same distance apart all the way from their point of departure to their destination. The rules don’t allow for love to change, or to grow at the start and diminish halfway through, it is too dangerous. And so, after the enthusiasm of the first few years, they maintain the same distance, the same solidity, and the same functional nature. Your purpose is to allow the train bearing the survival of the species to head off into the future: your children will only be happy if you stay just as you were – 143.5 centimeters apart. If you’re not happy with something that never changes, think of them, think of the children you brought into this world.

Think of the neighbors. Show them that you’re happy, eat roast
beef on Sundays, watch television, and help the community. Think of society.
Dress in such a way that everyone knows you’re in perfect harmony. Never glance to the side, someone might be watching you, and that could bring temptation; it could mean divorce, crisis, depression.

Smile in all the photos. Put the photos in the living room, so that everyone can see them. Cut the grass, practice a sport, — oh, yes, you must practice a sport in order to stay frozen in time. But when sports are not enough, have plastic surgery. But NEVER forget that these rules were established long ago and MUST be respected. Who established the rules? That does not matter. DO NOT question them, because they will always apply, even if you don’t agree with them. (adapted from The Zahir by Paulo Coelho)

These factious rules that the majority of our society abides
by are not designed to handle the up roaring of the “Virus Question” though.

At some point in life we may stop and look in the mirror, see
a glimmer of the person we use to be and the dream we once had and find
ourselves looking over our shoulder at the view of this white picket fence life
asking: Why am I unhappy?

Our governments, our religions, our bosses, our friends,
neighbors and families do not want us asking this question. Because it carries
with it the virus that will destroy everything. It means we want to find out
what makes us happy. If we find the courage to ask it and to look ourselves in
the eyes and feel our hearts answer, we will discover most likely that what
makes us happy is different from what we are living now, then we must either
change once and for all or stay as we are, feeling even more unhappy because we
know.

Two WorldsThe glimmer of that life that we long to live. The adventures we long to explore, the passions we long to full fill and the love we long to fully open up to can all be acquired within a moment’s thought if we are
willing to hear the call of the soul and charge forth like a couragous Roman soldier facing his enemy on the field. In the same thought we can crush our own hopes and dreams, our passion and take our love away that wants to be harvested and shared unconditionally by smothering it in a wool sack like dirty laundry. Not fit for the rules of the life that we are living. After all the rules ALWAYS apply and they were established long ago by who knows who. It does not matter. All that matters is that we realize that we must do what is civilized and within the boundaries of the box that we reside.

You will never experience true ecstasy or your true self, let along the openness and full union in love with another if you are not willing to break the rules.

It is not until you walk through the shadows of darkness and
fear no evil, when you know that your inner light and strength will guide and
comfort you, that all the fear and shackling of society through the embracing
of mediocrity will do nothing but cause the chaos, the divorce, the depression
and gloom that we all try to hide from that you can actually realize this:

“When I have nothing  more to lose, I will be given everything. When
I cease to be who I am, I will find myself. When I experience humiliation and
keep walking, I will understand that I am ALWAYS free to choose my destiny.”

The question of “why am I unhappy?” may carry with it the
virus of change, but better to be taken over by such an illness and be healed
from a life of quiet desperation then to believe we are not sick and die of a
cancer that is eating up our nations and our world from the inside out.

You are free. You are free to choose your destiny. You are
free to choose life, love and the pursuit of happiness. You are free to be
happy and you are free to investigate why you are not.

Over Taken

As Dante wrote in The Divine Comedy, “The day that man allows
true love to appear, those things which are well made will fall into confusion
and will overturn everything we believe to be right and true. “

“The world will become real when man learns how to love;
until then we will live in the belief that we know what love is, but we will
always lack the courage to confront it as it truly is.

Love is an untamed force. It is a rule breaker. When we try
and control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us.
When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused. This
force is on earth to make us happy, to bring us closer to God and to our
communities, to ourselves. Yet the way we love now brings us an hour of anxiety
for every minute of peace.” – Paulo Coelho

We must transform our love into the love that the creator
intended it to be. Open and unconditional. All embracing, with not prison bars,
no rules of proper educate, and no attachments of expectations.

Free Spirit

Enjoy the romantic love that flourishes your environment at the start of a new relationship. But open yourself to the realization that all this flutter and rose tinted glasses is only a taste of the love that dwells inside of your very being. It is not a magic spell, it is not a manifestation from the one you are feeling all warm and cuddling about. It is YOU opening to ecstasy. “Ecstasy is the final stage of intimacy with yourself… It is a shift in perception in which direct contact with spirit is made.” (Deepak Chopra) Through the integration of our bodies, minds, hearts and souls we can fully realize that we are not only the great challous of this love, but we are also the sweet nectar that fills it. We are not singular, we are plural. We are all part of the Christ-consciousness matrix that is awakening to Divine Love. And once we awaken we will redesign our railways, perhaps we will even come to the conclusion that stiff metal tracks are not even required to get us to our life destinations. Instead we may invest in parachutes so that we can fully be embraced by the heart throbbing experience called Life.