2016 has been a year of transformation which means a year of chaos, turbulence, perceived suffering and ego drama for many including myself. So many people that I have worked with over the course of this year came to me with visions of desires that they truly wanted and still do but were faced with the healing process of mourning.
Perhaps you are one of these sweet souls who is going through this transition somewhere in your life or in multiple areas of your life. Mourning is something that we typically relate to the death of a loved one and we allow ourselves to feel the pain of loss for them as we figure out how to take the next step in life and move forward. The mourning process often finds us feeling:
We recognize these feelings as a state of depression. We know that we cannot change the events and through the process of mourning we tend to focus in on ALL the characteristics, moments and feelings about the thing that we lost that we LOVED, APPRECIATED and wished we still had. In this moment we find ourselves appreciative and upset. Angered at our loss but appreciative that we had been blessed with the moments spent.
So how does this relate to TODAY which happens to be Thanksgiving or the transformation process and all the shit that happens on this path of growth?
Simple, our true growth and transformation comes when we can allow ourselves this same right of mourning even with the programs and shifts that we know we have to make that are holding us back from our true abundance and power.
Why should we mourn or be grateful for these programs, negative events and suffering you may ask?
Because these events, programs and perceived suffering is exactly what we needed to make us strong enough to have the vulnerability, the courage to walk the path of our destiny. It is these very things that teach us about gratitude. Without these events and feeling in our lives we would act like a spoiled Charles born with a silver spoon in our mouth. We would indeed take life and all our blessings for granted. And even with all the trauma that we humans inflict on ourselves as we move through life we still manage to lead a life full of blessings that we constantly take for granted.
No matter how bad it is in any one persons life there is ALWAYS a place for gratitude. No matter how abused, sick, broke, hungry, abandoned, lonely or in pain a person is there ARE BLESSINGS. How can I say this? Obviously I have no clue what I am speaking because I have not walked in the shoes of the homeless man who sleeps on the cold streets of Chicago. I have not been abandoned by my family . I am not suffering with a drug addiction. I am not dying from an incurable illness. I am not living in a sex slave camp. I have not witnessed my whole village and family massacred before my very eyes. Or any other horrible human trial. But still, I write this in complete confidence that no matter what the trail, the pain, the suffering or situation that there is BLESSING and a place for gratitude. If nothing else there is a blessing in the lesson.
The lessons of our soul come in two formats:
Pleasure and Pain.
It is when we discover the blessing in our suffering or wound as I like to say that we actually step foot on our true path. It is in our wounds that we discover our passion, our purpose and our GIFT to the world.
Only through gratitude can we fully embrace our calling.
But just saying that we are thankful is not enough. We must actually touch gratitude with the feeling of it penetrating our core, our heart. We must enter a space where we not only speak our gratitude but act on it. Without committing to gifting the world with our appreciation and moving into the lessons of our wounds we remain closed and shut up. We keep ourselves armored and locked away where we can not relate, feel love or joy.
We prevent ourselves from living a life of abundance. When we hide away from the mourning process which leads us to gratitude we in turn say, ” No thanks to the Fuck YES Life! ” The life that you experience not just yeah that sounds nice but Fuck YES I want that. Fuck YES I am blessed. Fuck YES this is awesome. Fuck Yes I am in Love! Fuck Yes I am living my dream.
So on this day of Thanksgiving focus on what your blessings are.
Find the hidden blessings and start by praising life for the opportunities that come in those challenges.
Often I am asked “What is Tantra?” my answer to this question is – “Tantra is everything!”
But that answer is often to simple yet complex for many people to truly grasp what I am saying. So I have decided to take a moment and share what I mean in this statement of “tantra is everything.”
Tantra is about weaving together all parts of our life. That is why when we teachers/practitioners speak about improving our sexuality and sex lives that we also say that this will affect all other areas of our lives such as our relationships with our parents, siblings, children, co-workers and anyone who walks into our lives. Yet Tantra is NOT about sex alone. Matter a fact if you truly studied tantra and the teachings of the Dali Lama on the matter you would discover that sex is only about 5% to 10% at best of Tantra.
Why does sex get focused on then when we speak about Tantra?
There are a few reasons for this.
1. Sex sells! – Now I know that many of my fellow teachers out there just cringed at me saying this, but I am a realist in many ways and the facts are the facts. Sex is sexy. Sex is captivating and interesting. Sex is something we all desire more of and we are all under educated in. Sex is something that we know at our core is good for us for more reasons then procreation. Sex sells because it turns us on at our deepest levels. It always has and it always will.
2. Sex is normally the final frontier to tackle for even the most spiritual, self-growth focused, courageous, driven soul out there. And it is the one that is most interconnected to every aspect of our lives and to the world in general. Our sexing affects everything. That is why we focus on sexuality when we speak Tantra. Tantra in this area is about making our sex conscious.
Now this may seem different then what you were expecting. Hopefully it is comforting to know that Tantra and sex are NOT about prostitution (although those in this line of work who understand certain groundwork, certainly are sexual healers and not just working to make a quick buck so someone else can relieve some stress). Tantra does not make use of our sexuality so that one can experience a hot “body to body rub” either. Tantra makes use of our sexuality because through our sexing we create or lives. We create the structures of our futures. We manifest our desires, dreams and goals. We learn to face our shadows as well as our light and we learn how to fully love, accept and live in gratitude. Through our sexing we learn the importance of Living Fully, and this is Tantra.
This is why you will hear me speak about Gourmet Sexing verses Fast Food Sexing.
Gourmet sexing is a spiritual practice of deep love and acceptance. Not only of our partner but of ourselves and of all of life.
Gourmet sexing is healing. It can help us to release past programs, trauma and suffering. It can be the creative spark that changes everything and helps us to transform our very existence. Through gourmet sexing we find peace and bliss. This is Conscious Sex!
Fast food sexing is all about using ourselves or another for stress release or power. It is about controlling another. It is about quick fixes, disconnectedness, limited to no intimacy and remaining unconscious to all our levels of being. Fast food sexing is a short circuit to living fully. It prevents us from ever achieving the beauty, connection and authentic loving that we so desire. It disenables us from our true power and thus from bliss.
Perhaps these terms will help you to understand a bit better the significant role that sex plays on our lives and that through the art of Tantra we can achieve what we all desire. A live lived well and full. A life of appreciation, love, acceptance, honor and conscious bliss.
So what is Tantra?
Tantra is the Art of Living Life Fully!
Now the only question is. “Will you accept the journey of conscious living?”
I sure hope so because you my friend ARE WORTH IT!!!!
“Everything you can imagine is real.”-Picasso
Yesterday I was once again blessed to work with my creative, beautiful daughter Rebekah who is following her passion and soul by developing her own brand in photography , Photography In Wonderland. In working with her yesterday for a spontaneous shoot I realized a few things about life, love and the pursuit of happiness. These things we value so dearly and all consistently strive for or find ourselves trapped in a morbid abyss of suffering, shame and hatred if we choose to hide from our souls desire, all come back to allowing the creative transformation of our inner realms to dance and merge with those of our outer worlds. We are the artists of our lives. Picasso, had it right when he said that everything you can imagine is real, because it is. The hidden world that lies within each of us longs to have the light of life, love and happiness shine upon it. Yet trapped in societal conditioning the majority of people have a tough time finding the courage and stamina it requires to open the door to this blossoming of self. The reason it is so scary to allow our authentic selves to be seen in the world is because over the course of time it has been expected and even demanded that we hide these very aspects of self. We have been sheltered in our thinking and told that a strong foundation for life was built on logic and normalcy, not on imagination and unique authenticity. Yet all people over the course of time that have made an impact on our world were far from logical or average in attitude, thinking or actions. Leaders, visionaries, and game changers all fall under a different label. These men and women , are average people with extraordinary courage and desire. Do they posses something unique? Do they have more skill set or knowledge then you or I? Are they a better person therefore deserving of more from life? The answer is no across the board. The only thing that they have that over 80% of the rest of society does not have is a desire to transform. They understand that they are the only ones who can change themselves and they know that life is about growth. These same 20% of “Special People” understand that in order for growth to happen and for them to succeed in fulfilling their inner calling that they MUST overcome the self imposed fears and muster up just a drop of courage to take that first step into greatness. They know that getting into the flow of creative transformation is the life blood of opening up to god, the universe or whatever other name you choose to call the creator of all and letting this source breathe love, life and happiness into their very existence.
A creative transformation is about just this, opening our rusty gates that we have on our hearts and souls and allowing for imagination to flow freely. When we embrace our imagination we lock arms with our true power. As Einstein stated, “Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.”
It is time to dig into our pockets and pull out the diamonds that are carried there. These treasures that we have been hiding from society, our friends, family and even ourselves. It is time for each of us to stop cheating ourselves and discover that life was not meant to be endured and suffered through. Life is meant to be embraced in love and passion. When we open ourselves to creative transformation and the journey it takes us on we say to life that we desire to be fucked wide open, we desire to dance with the angels and hear our hearts music. We say to the great creator of all that we know that life is a privilege and a mission. It is a mission of letting go of what we think we know and opening up to all that can be. We spread our legs to the universe and we allow it to penetrate our cores like a lover that we will never see again. We say to hell with fear, structure, bondage and rules and thus say YES to ourselves and the art of our lives.
One of the most imaginative teachers of time you could say was Jesus. He taught through stories, he taught through love and he taught through authentic uniqueness. He still remained part of the culture that he was born into, but he was not afraid to throw some tables and show that the universe will bend to your will when you have the desire, courage and faith. His message was one that we all too could do this and so much more (John 14:12) but it is a message of creative transformation that so many are still not ready to hear.
Easter weekend is upon us yet again and many will join in the process of what we call tradition. The painting of the Easter eggs, the hiding of these eggs so that a our young imaginative children can discover them along with trinkets and sweets. We will congregate in churches and holy sanctuaries around the world, celebrating the transformation process of Jesus. We will place this teacher on a pedestal and miss all the messages of the annual opportunity that has been passed down like a torch of great light and universal understanding. The traditions that we celebrate this coming Sunday are not primarily focused on Jesus even, but have been around for many years prior to his teaching. The traditions of Easter have roots in Pagan beliefs and even go back into world history to the ancient Egyptians, Persians, Phoenicians, and Hindus who all believed the world began with an enormous egg, thus the egg as a symbol of new life has been around for eons. Easter’s true meaning is about rebirth and fertility. Both are things that a creative transformation process blesses us with, but in order for us to experience this process one has to be like a small child where in the heart, mind and soul their is fertile ground for imagination to bloom and flourish thus bringing the ascension process of the life mission.
Part of my realization in working with Rebekah on photo-shoots was that life and creative energy are things that you must be ready to embrace when the muse of art is dancing with them. The best experiences are often not planned, expected or even considered. Sometimes we can find ourselves on one path and not even see the crossing path that will make all the difference to our journey. Looking back over the course of my own history and transformation I can see now the impact of imagination and how playing on this road that so many choose not to travel on as actually being the essential tool of a successful life. It is the pulse of life itself and with every beat we open our ears to love and happiness, purpose and flow, we open ourselves to being the Messiah of our own life path.
“Whether you succeed or not is irrelevant, there is no such thing. Making your unknown known is the important thing.”
“When the library of yourselves was torn from the shelves and scattered, and the DNA was split so that there were only two strands left with very little data and very little memory, sexuality was left intact in the physical body. It was left as a form of reproduction, of course—as a form for the species to stay in touch with its own essence and bring itself into life. Very deep inside the mechanism of sexuality is a frequency that can be attained that has been sought after and misunderstood by many people. It is called orgasm. The orgasm has been distorted from its original purpose. Your body has forgotten the cosmic orgasm of which it is capable because society has taught you for thousands and thousands of years that sexuality is bad. You have been taught this in order for you to be controlled and to keep you from seeking the freedom available through sexuality. Sexuality connects you with a frequency of ecstasy, which connects you back to your divine source and to information. Sexuality has been given a bad name upon this planet, and that bad name is stored in your cellular memory. This is not just from this lifetime; it is from thousands of years of misappropriation and misuse. It is necessary for you to clear the negativity surrounding sexuality from this lifetime, as well as to experience and examine how you utilize sexual energy and sexual expression in your multidimensional selves. The sexual parts of the body are avenues to pleasure that create frequencies that heal and stimulate the body and potentially lead it to its higher spiritual self. Sexuality is so misunderstood on this planet that, when it is exchanged between two persons, very seldom is there an intent to connect spirituality with it. Sexuality invokes a spirituality that is free and that looks at itself as a creator. However, very seldom is sexuality used as a bridge to take you to higher levels of consciousness.
We have spoken with a number of individuals who have been utilizing light. Since finding the proper partner in a monogamous situation, they have been able to achieve very high states of being. Monogamy tends to work for most of you very well because of where you are vibrationally. When you have many partners, you tend to be less than honest and to hide who you are: you share a little here, there, and everywhere in scattering your seed. It is best to be with one person, but this does not mean the same person forever. Be loyal, be open, and be sharing with the person you are working with, and go as far as you can with them. If it happens to be your whole life, wonderful. If it doesn’t, then when you come to a place where you are no longer communicating and serving one another, and you feel the relationship is not going to be able to make a leap, terminate the relationship and find another person who works with your vibration.
When you work one-on-one intimately, you develop trust. Most of you have difficulty trusting yourselves because you don’t have a role model for trust. You can learn about trust in a relationship because a relationship acts as a mirror for you, showing you what you cannot see from your own viewpoint. It shows you yourself outside of yourself when you have open communication within sexuality and deep intimacy, and when you are not using sexuality as a distraction for getting close. Many of you have used sexuality as a distraction and a way to avoid intimacy rather than to develop it. You begin to get energetic and to look into one another’s eyes and to feel all hot and excited. Then, instead of exploring each other intimately and spiritually, you shut down your feeling centers, put on your armor, and have shallow, genital sex because it is too frightening and too intense to go the deeper route of full body and full spiritual connection. Sometimes hot sex feels great and is wonderful. We are simply saying that there is more. There is much more, and no one is keeping it from you except yourselves and the beliefs and fear you have of letting down your boundaries and walls. Many of the fears you have are based on what you have created for yourselves and what you have done to others in your sexual life. Your sexual history affects every other portion of your soul, so all of your soul’s issues are broadcast loud and clear throughout your body. You don’t want to look at this sometimes because it is too painful, and you judge it because you think it is bad. Stop judging, and get neutral about what you have done—no matter what you discover, no matter how heinous it seems, no matter how difficult it seems, and no matter how much violation it involves. Understand that your purpose has been to gather data and to understand your selves. Sexuality is a frequency. It represents what was not taken away from you even though your history, your memories, and your identity were removed and scattered. The way you were left intact with the ability to discover who you were was through the sexual experience. Of course, you were never taught this. We are going to do some church bashing here. So sorry for anyone who is a member of the churches. The churches came about as organizations—businesses to control religion and spiritual development and to create jobs, to create a hierarchy, and to create a club. Very few churches came about with the idea of bringing information to people. You don’t usually think of religion as something that keeps you informed, do you? Any religion that brings information is a religion operating on the vibration of truth. Spiritual realms are places of existence that the human body is locked away from. Because sexuality was an opportunity for human beings to regain their memory, or to connect with their spiritual selves and spiritual creator, or to find an avenue to the spiritual realm that you are sealed off from, the churches came about and promoted sexuality for procreation. They taught you that the only reason you had sexuality was to produce little humans. Sexuality was promoted as something very bad. Women were told that sexuality was something they had to undergo to serve men and that they had no control over the birthing process. Women believed this; hence, to this day, you believe in general that you have no control over that portion of your body. You must realize that only you decide whether you are going to birth a child or not. This is not such a complicated thing as you have been told. Decision and intention are what bring the experience to your being. You can control whether you have a baby or not. If woman had had this ability for the last several thousand years, and if she had been able to explore her sexual self without fear of having a child, perhaps men and women would have discovered that they were much freer than they had been told they were. The discovery of the highest frequency of sexuality arises from the love experience. It has nothing to do with relationships being either homosexual or heterosexual. It has to do with two human beings bringing pleasure to one another in a way that opens frequencies of consciousness. You have bought many ideas about what is proper and what is improper within sexual expression.
Love is the essence that is to be created in all relationships. If you love and honor someone, it doesn’t matter what your composition of density is. What matters is the love vibration and how you explore this love, which ideally is gifted and coupled with the integration of the male and the female counterparts that make the twin flame.
Ideally, sexuality is explored through feelings. The third and fourth chakras connect you to the emotional and compassionate selves, which connect you to the spiritual self. The spiritual self is the part of yourself that is multidimensional through which you exist in many forms simultaneously. It is your assignment and agreement and task to be aware of all these realities in the identity that you are. When you are aware, you can tune into the different frequencies, remember who you are, and change the vibratory rate of this universe. We love to talk about sexuality because it is so mysterious upon this planet. Certain mystery schools have held some of the knowledge about the potential uses of sexuality in secrecy. You are electromagnetic creatures, and when you come together physically with another human creature, you bond your electromagnetic frequencies together. When your frequencies are attuned and joined by a love frequency, incredible things can occur. Thousands of years ago, when society had more of a matriarchal view in certain areas of the planet, Goddess energy was coming through and working with certain individuals. The female understood her power, her intuition, her feeling center, her connection, and her desire to create life. She also understood that she never had to conceive a child if it was not her intention to do so.
In order for the patriarchal society to come full circle and prepare Earth for this shift in consciousness, female energy needed to take a back seat. So female power, energy, and understanding of sexuality were suppressed. In modern times—the past two thousand years—it came to be upon the planet that women believed they had no control over when they could have children, that sexuality was deemed bad and disgusting, and that sex was taught to be performed only within the rights of marriages and so on. All of this was a marketing program.
Some of the present-day marketing programs to create an even greater fear of sexuality and its expression are the new diseases: AIDS, herpes, and all the other things. You read about these things in your newspapers and become frightened of your own expression, frightened of your own intuition, and frightened of your own joy. Do you understand? Before DNA was rearranged, the way many people reached the higher realms and were able to climb the ladders of themselves and reach into off-planet frequencies was by electromagnetically bonding through love. They created a rocketship-like experience to propel them out into other systems of reality. This has been one of the best-kept secrets upon the planet. Many we have spoken to have had absolutely profound experiences with their sexuality. We would like to point out again that we are not making distinctions or judgments about who you happen to bond with in a relationship, and we suggest that you give up that judgment as well. It is old programming. It does not matter whether you bond with a member of the opposite sex or a member of your own sex. We are talking about two humans coming together by physically joining themselves in whatever ways are appropriate for them to join and create love, because they are sharing love. When integrity and love are missing from a joining of human bodies, that is when human beings do not think well of their experience. This can create all kinds of damaging results within the physical body. You were left with the frequency of the orgasmic experience in sexuality so that you could remember your higher identity. When this energy or history of yourself is revealed and you discover who you are, you will unite many bodies of your personal multidimensional identity in your physical form. To receive the full impact of the gridwork of your identity, let the twelve helixes fit in your body and allow the light-encoded filaments to rearrange themselves. This process has to do with the mental body, which is of course connected to the physical body. The emotional body, which is connected to the spiritual body, is the body that everybody wants to skip. You say, “I want to evolve. I want a rapid acceleration, but I do not want to go through the feeling center to do it.” You are connected to your multidimensional selves through your feelings, and it is in your feelings that you primarily get stuck. Accept that your “stuff” comes up for a reason. Many of you would like to bury your “stuff” and throw it out in the trash as if it is something ugly and not who you are. This “stuff” is the shadow portion of your identity that you don’t like to deal with or accept. We understand that sometimes, when something comes up, you label it and say, “I hate this part of myself. I want to just finish it and sweep it under the rug and forget it. I’m finished with this stuff.” Guess what. Your “stuff”—your issues—are the treasures of your life. They are how you learn. You have agreed to mutate, to pull light into your body, and to birth the family of light on this planet. Since light is information, you must deal with all of the things you have hidden from yourself. Sexuality is the primary issue because it is the secret self—the self you hide from. Society has said to you, “This is good. This is bad. You are to do this. You are not to do this.” Who gave you these laws? Who gave you any of your laws to begin with? You have been stuck because you can’t read the symbols of the language you are speaking to yourselves. So you dwell upon it. Many of you love your stories because they get you attention. If you didn’t have a story, who would talk to you? Observe your body and see what it is teaching the self. Ideally, you will heal the sore and create a place of greater comfort and joy as you learn to dwell more completely in your physical body and have a new identity of your sexuality.
Sexuality is a key. It is a doorway to the higher realms of consciousness. As you redefine yourselves, and the light-encoded filaments give you a new definition of yourselves, you are going to change who you are sexually as well. Sexuality must come up for all of you, and, we will say from experience, it is the area that you are most frightened of at this time. We guarantee there will be more frightening areas later. If you are stuck on the idea of love and cannot comprehend what is going on with it, your difficulty is that you are looking for love outside yourself. You are looking for somebody else to put meaning in your life and validate you. If you do not have that person, you become angry or feel you are worthless. This is a pattern you grew up with, which your parents and your society showed you. We have said over and over again that the most important thing you can do is love yourself and honor Earth. But you keep forgetting this and looking for the next relationship to make you whole or complete. You feel that without a relationship you are perhaps less than an acceptable citizen. Then you feel lonely. You must learn how to be alone. Loneliness is simply a state of mind. You are never, never alone. You have multitudes of entities around you. If you would stop feeling sorry for yourselves, you would find that there is so much data constantly being blasted at you that you may want to be alone so you can have a good time receiving the contact. When you love yourself and stop getting convoluted about the need to have someone else love you, you are able to accept what someone offers. It is imperative that you value yourself so that you do not settle for a love disguised. If you decide to go for a partner or to vibrate with someone, and you do not receive what you want, do not whine or nag or pout about the person to make them change according to your needs. If you set a value for yourself and do not create it, then simply change your reality and continue onward alone until you meet someone who reflects your value. All the while, vibrate in the love of the self, honor the self, and understand that the journey here is about self discovery in relationship to others. It is not just about husbands or wives. The journey here is about honoring your physical body and the uniqueness of the self as you touch the lives of many. Always allow yourself to work with the self and let the self evolve. You are all afraid of being intimate with yourselves—of being alone with the self. Once you develop an intimacy, a silence, a self-love, and a containment of your energy, then you will want to make that aspect of intimacy your standard for intimacy with someone else.
Sexuality can be very confusing at this time because you are raising and studying your frequencies. When you join bodies, even when you hug one another, you exchange frequency. When you have a sexual experience, there is a hormonal release inside the body. The hormones awaken certain energies inside the cells, and there is a transference of one person’s essence onto the other person. That is why when you have had sexual experiences with someone you sometimes cannot get their energy off you. Even though you don’t want to be with the person, the sexual experience stays with you because you have had an electromagnetic exchange. You are going through this frequency modulation and learning how to raise your frequency to a place of consistent information, self-love, and self-intimacy. Therefore, it can seem very confusing and sometimes frightening to take this vulnerable thing you are learning about yourself and layer up and merge with another. The more you become aware, the more you take charge of how you use your body, where you plug it in, where you sit it down, and certainly who you mix it with sexually.
If expressing yourself sexually now encouraged your greatest growth, you would automatically create that experience for yourself because you would be ready for it. Understand that, during the process of evolving the self, very often a period of dormancy in sexual activity occurs. Within the sexual frequency, you exchange with one another. So if you are bonding yourself and chemically exchanging with a person who is not of your likeness, you are taking on their garbage because you are exchanging energy quite intimately. Sometimes you will be led away from that kind of exchange. You may think, “Oh, my goodness, what is happening? Am I turning old? Am I drying up? What is going on?” That is not the case. You can learn to use the energy that would stimulate you sexually without giving it over to another person. Instead of getting chaotic and crazy, you may explore that energy by practicing the art of masturbation, knowing that it is perfectly legitimate and fine to do it. Or, you may want to simply observe that you feel a sexual arousal and decide what you are going to do with it. You may say, “Well, I’m not going to act on this now. Let’s see where this energy goes.” Take the energy, let it rise through your body, and use it in other areas. You will get to a point when you must adore, sustain, and love yourself as if you are holding yourself like a newborn babe in your own arms, knowing you will do the best for yourself. Many of you distract yourselves. Find the place of serenity and silence in which you can find answers. You cannot find answers by dialing the telephone all day long and asking everyone else for them. If you attempt to, you are demonstrating that you are looking outside of yourself. When you learn how to turn within to find answers, the self will speak. Usually you cannot hear because you are locked in behavioral patterns that you know you have to change but that you don’t want to change because you don’t know who you will be. In all honesty, you are afraid of yourselves. This is a very common thing. You are afraid you will not be complete, and you want to be complete very much. So you say, “I am complete. I am sovereign. I need someone else. I am attracted to someone. Oh, no, I cannot look. I am too frightened of that. I don’t need anyone. I do need someone.” You go back and forth. Learn to still your mind. Learn to become completely in charge of your energy. What does that mean? It means that wherever you are, you observe yourself—how your body is positioned, how you are using your hands, whether you are repeating yourself over and over again, whether you are speaking or silent. Learn to watch yourself with no judgment. Learn to watch and self correct by determining how you would like to be versus how you are. Learn to quiet your mind. Frequency is carried from you to another person particularly if there is a love bonding. A love bonding does not mean that you are going to cleave to one another forever. It simply means that you are in a relationship for however long you deem that relationship appropriate in that you honor one another and exchange energies and let the energies flow as if through open circuitry. When you do not love another and you are not bonded, there is no exchange; the circuitry does not open. It does not mean that you cannot have good sex; it simply means that the circuitry is not open. As this electrical current is raised higher and higher, there are greater heights of orgasmic experience that the human body can receive because the nervous system is able to handle the higher ecstatic frequencies. The nervous system will determine how you express yourself and how you feel. If you have a poorly evolved nervous system, your sexual experience will be very limited because the nervous system conducts the electrical current. The orgasmic experience brings about a healing and realignment of the physical body.
Eventually, you will not be able to get close to or be with someone who is not operating at the same voltage you are. You simply will not fit. It would be like putting a size nine foot into a size two shoe. It won’t work or be comfortable. You won’t fit because you won’t be able to merge vibrationally. You will eventually understand the importance of vibrational nourishment as you begin to link sexually. Linking sexually is only one way of merging with people who are moving at the same or a compatible voltage rate. Your reality is very interesting to us because you have so many clues in your waking world. When you go to a foreign country, your electrical appliances do not plug in. They don’t fit, so you need an adapter. It would be stressful if you had to continuously adapt to a vibration when you were involved intimately in a sexual relationship. It would be too much effort. You would spend all your energy creating the adaptive mechanisms. Then you would be in denial and not give yourself permission to go further because you would lower the ceiling.
The sixties marked the opening of sexual exploration. In an instant, the paradigm shifted. Much of the energy that was on the planet at that time, coupled with the experimental ingestion of different mind-altering substances, immediately made a new paradigm and split you from previous generations. The boundaries were instantly changed. You were split from a generation that believed in war and did not feel—a generation whose sexual expression was done in the dark, perhaps with many clothes on. You broke the paradigm wide open in many ways, and you set new trends and created new ways of being. It was wonderful. “Oh, goodness, free sex and love and bodies showing!” you said. Now it is time for a whole new revolution through which you will become vibrationally hooked to a person. There will be no more distractions of sexuality and no more pretending that you are without hang-ups—that you are sexually liberated because you can be in this position and that position and say this and do that. That is simply body aerobics in the area of sexuality. We want you to get into the aerobics and contortions of the soul—the vibration. The depth of two people coming together and linking in this capacity is what you all crave. If you are frightened of it, it is because you don’t have a framework or role model for it. You must design one. You must trust that somehow the energy in the design of the cosmic blueprint will instantly bring about a new movement based on the desire for this next step of understanding yourselves. You will remember with great clarity your expressions of sexuality in your different manipulations through reality—when you have been both men and women and explored sexuality in every aspect. It takes courage to do this. If there is one area in which you really judge yourselves, and in which the planet does great judging, it is sex. You have had some definite ideas about what is sexually proper and improper. So, many of you may be shocked to remember what you have done with your sexuality. Understand that, on this planet, sexuality has always been the body’s link to its higher frequency. Even though much of the data was scattered and disassembled in the body, this potential to create life remained for you to completely understand who you are at the base of your being and at the core of who you are. Sexual vibration has been your link with your cosmic identity, but this whole concept has been completely misunderstood and lost. We are simply saying that there is a bigger story and that it is much more exciting than anyone has dared to believe. There were those who did not want you to be in tune with these frequencies because the sexual frequencies could have taken you to areas of liberation where you would have begun to figure things out. Sexuality was left as a frequency for you to ride through the nervous system and connect with the higher mind by going out of your body. If you had been told that this was the route out, who could have controlled or manipulated you? The population must clear the negative connotations and judgments that have colored your sexual experience for eons. You must make peace with sex in order to integrate the frequencies and identity. Things have been manipulated and given a boundary of limitation so that the truth of sexuality has been kept from you. You have been told that you can procreate with it and have orgasms, but you have not been told that you can open frequencies with it. You can come into contact and use it as a method of remembering who you are and altering the vibrational frequency of your body. In the next few years, your expression of sexuality will have a whole new dimension. You will evolve and grow, provided that you have a partner who is willing to take the same route and to be that open. But if you are with someone who wants to play the avoidance game or the game of denial, you will not get there.”
– via Barbara Marciniak, from the book “Bringers of the Dawn”
I am a strong, powerful, willful woman who has been called a “force of nature” by many. And today, if I was to a be a vase, packed into a box for shipping – I would need extra bubble wrap around me today. My skin actually hurts.
I would need the card board box to be firm and hard. I wouldn’t suggest putting me in an airplane. I would require a delivery man. I am feeling that fragile.
It’s the kind of fragile that can make mistakes. I’m the kind of fragile that can make me feel like I won’t be delivered safely. That somehow, I will fall like the vase to the ground and shatter. And it’s so much work to put me back together again. All of that awful stinky sticky glue.
It’s hard to look at someone who leads, and see their fragility. We want to believe that our teachers and leaders never cry or feel lost or fuck up. But somehow, I think that the best of us do. We might even question why we are leading. Or our life’ purpose!
Do you ever feel this way? Do you ever speak it?
I have been talking a lot the past few weeks about women, and how we love and support each other – and how we don’t.
So many of my friends are deeply involved in women’s circles, or various other female dynamics in complicated relationships.
And it seems that we are all shaking on some level. Is it the stars?
The sins we commit against each other as women is lack of support. A competitiveness that seems to have an underbelly hidden through soft words.
A lack of seeing each other with gentle eyes. We hurt. We hurt each other. We hide. We project. We become mute or duplicitous, and we fester like boiling water until one day we erupt like a geyser. Do we forget we unravel in grief?
So many of us hold deep trauma in our lives. For me, this is different than the drama some of us layer on top of our lives as a distraction from perhaps what is real trauma – or dare I say it – boredom.
Do you reach out to your friends, and ask for extra love and support when you are hurting this way? Or do you hope that they just notice and get it, and call you?
Or if you are feeling strong, do you make yourself available to your friends to wrap them up in bubble wrap when their skin hurts and their heart beats funny? Do you just offer soft kisses on the forehead?
Does letting yourself be seen in your trembling state feel too needy to you? Some of us just wait and hope that our need will be seen – and support will just show up. Some of us create anger, because any kind of attention to our pain even negative attention can fill us up in some way or another.
And some of us, walk around the house looking for bubble wrap and retreat for a few days.
Sometimes, it can be as simple as needing rest.
Loving you from here, and please send a little bubble wrap my way!
Pamela Madsen, Author of Shameless, Sexuality & Fertility Coach, Integrative Life Coach Specializing in Women’s Issues
Websites: Back To The Body, Pamela Madsen.org
A funny, sexy, and wildly entertaining look at the rewards of fully realized desire in the life of one ordinary woman.
At 43 years old, Pamela Madsen was happily married to the man she fell in love with at 17. She was the mother of two sons and had a successful career as a nationally known advocate for fertility issues. But she felt a growing sexual restlessness and yearning that wouldn’t let up. And though Pamela loved her husband and didn’t want to have an affair, she knew deep down that she needed more, much more. In Shameless, she tells the story of how she found it—and not only kept her marriage intact but made it stronger than ever.
In this fearless memoir, Pamela tells the story of her search for sexual, personal, and spiritual wholeness. She explores, in riveting detail, what she experienced at the hands of sexual healers, men who brought her untold pleasure (and became her close friends in the process).
But this is not just another sex book: Shameless is also an account of how Pamela’s journey healed her issues with food and body image and most important, helped her weave the many roles that she played—daughter, friend, partner, mother—into one fully integrated person. It is a story about a woman falling in love with herself and a call to other women to do the same.
Vulnerability picture by Seth Barns
Ferrett Steinmetz is tired of being told that he should point guns at his daughter’s boyfriends.
There’s a piece of twaddle going around the internet called 10 Rules For Dating My Daughter, which is packed with “funny” threats like this:
“Rule Four: I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilising some kind of ‘barrier method’ can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.”
All of which boil down to the tedious, “Boys are threatening louts, sex is awful when other people do it, and my daughter is a plastic doll whose destiny I control.”
Look, I love sex. It’s fun. And because I love my daughter, I want her to have all of the same delights in life that I do, and hopefully more. I don’t want to hear about the fine details because, heck, I don’t want those visuals any more than my daughter wants mine. But in the abstract, darling, go out and play.
Because consensual sex isn’t something that men take from you; it’s something you give. It doesn’t lessen you to give someone else pleasure. It doesn’t degrade you to have some of your own. And anyone who implies otherwise is a man who probably thinks very poorly of women underneath the surface.
Yes, all these boys and girls and genderqueers may break your heart, and that in turn will break mine. I’ve held you, sobbing, after your boyfriend cheated on you, and it tore me in two. But you know what would tear me in two even more? To see you in a glass cage, experiencing nothing but cold emptiness at your fingers, as Dear Old Dad ensured that you got to experience nothing until he decided what you should like.
You’re not me. Nor are you an extension of my will. And so you need to make your own damn mistakes, to learn how to pick yourself up when you fall, to learn where the bandages are and to bind up your own cuts. I’ll help. I’ll be your consigliere when I can, the advisor, the person you come to when all seems lost. But I think there’s value in getting lost. I think there’s a strength that only comes from fumbling your own way out of the darkness.
You’re your own person, and some of the things you’re going to love will strike me as insane, ugly, or unenjoyable. This is how large and wonderful the world is! Imagine if everyone loved the same thing; we’d all be battling for the same ten people. The miracle is how easily someone’s cast-offs become someone else’s beloved treasure. And I would be a sad, sad little man if I manipulated you into becoming a cookie-cutter clone of my desires. Love the music I hate, watch the movies I loathe, become a strong woman who knows where her bliss is and knows just what to do to get it.
Now, you’re going to get bruised by life, and sometimes bruised consensually. But I won’t tell you sex is bad, or that you’re bad for wanting it, or that other people are bad from wanting it from you if you’re willing to give it. I refuse to perpetuate, even through the plausible deniability of humor, the idea that the people my daughter is attracted to are my enemy.
I’m not the guard who locks you in the tower. Ideally, I am my daughter’s safe space, a garden to return to when the world has proved a little too cruel, a place where she can recuperate and reflect upon past mistakes and know that here, there is someone who loves her wholeheartedly and will hug her until the tears dry.
That’s what I want for you, sweetie. A bold life filled with big mistakes and bigger triumphs.
Now get out there and find all the things you fucking love, and vice versa.
This article originally ran at theferrett.com under a slightly different title.
Having daughters can be scary but having sons can be too. Sex can be a beautiful experience and it can be a painful one. Age, relationship, gender has nothing to do with any of it. In schools, church’s and on the home front we teach our children that sex is evil if not done between a husband and wife or two “committed” ADULTS yet they are bombarded with poor sexual behaviors on movies, video games, books, magazines, the internet, advertising and even in the model many provide at home. It is hard to find one ADULT that did not explore sex as a teen and that has been the case since humankind came about, but in today’s society we believe it is healthy to shame, guilt and point fingers at our youth for doing what is absolutely normal. Sex education needs to change in my opinion, from: this is the birds and the bees and its for only making babies with your spouse; fear the diseases and possible death from it, to: here is how you honor your body, your partners body, here is how to have gourmet sex verse fast food sex, here is how to set healthy boundaries and how to talk sex with those you may be “doing it with.” Here are your safe sex options and above all else we need to teach that sex is freakin’ IMPORTANT in a intimate relationship. We do not own another’s body nor should we feel guilt for saying no to our partner when we need to, or feel shame for asking for what we want. We need to teach our children how to be strong and empowered in ALL areas of their life, not shame them for being human. I have always been a realist in my thinking on sex when it comes to all my babies, and because of what I have learned through experience and self searched out education on this topic I wish all my kids awesome safe empowered gourmet sex and I stand behind their decisions with open arms and a heart of understanding.
It has been two weeks since the last Naked Musing Mailing and I am sure that some are wondering what the news is with me. As you can see from the banner photo chosen for this week and the one to the left, sweet little Gabriel Jon has made his arrival. (You may view the whole album HERE He was born on May 31st @ 10:05PM and was 9 lbs. 5 oz.. 21 inches long. It was a beautiful labour and birth. I must admit that out of my six births that his was INCREDIBLE. It was the first time that I got to experience birth from a point of 100% natural. No medications, no inducing, no nothing that the Creator did not intend. I also was blessed to have a water-birth at the Allen Birthing Center and was able to enjoy this miracle event with my partner and my three daughters. Such a powerful, healing and heart shattering moment in life.
After the labour in following days, many discussions between my girls and I came up. The education and deep connection between our female soul journeys was brought to a high point in the birth of their little brother. It allowed for me to share a part of our human existence with them that many young people NEVER get a first hands account of. Yes, we are shown movies in health class, told what such events are like and see Hollywood’s depiction in movies but nothing can ever make up for what the real event is like. The energy in the room as a little being is being birthed and taking his/her first breath of life outside the womb is incomparable to anything else. The incredible hieghtened energy between mother and father as they connect and keep focus throughout contractions and the sounds that clear through our throat chakra as women as we work with nature and our bodies brings us to a state of awe. As one of my daughters said, “Mom, you did not scream or do anything like the movies show. It sounded more like an orgasmic moan with each of your contractions.” And this is true for my experience. There were moments in the end of labour where I would say I entered the state of Satori even.
A few months ago I wrote a Naked Musing titled Orgasmic Womb-man Hood where I shared a concept about pain and suffering and how we can turn such “painful” events into Orgasm. One such event that science is looking into is labour. It is shown that 21% of women during birth experience orgasm. What is the cause for this bliss to manifest from something that we are taught is the most physically painful event of life. I am confident that if the survey went deeper into the rabbit hole of this phenomenon that we would discover that is somewhere around the same percentage of women that decide to experience labour and birth NATURALLY.
In our world today we are told to crave the bliss, desire the highs but avoid the lows. We are told that painful events are “bad” or wrong and that we should mask the feelings of these events with things that numb us or bring us a false sense of pleasure. What we are not told is that you cannot walk through this life avoiding all the perceived pain and not get a whiplash effect from the masking. Every time we choose to block out the pain of our lives we prevent our mind, body and soul from full expression, experience and rapture. We prevent ourselves from LIVING, yet living and connecting to life is what we are all searching for.
**I encourage each who reads this note to STOP the insanity of masking, dig deep into your beautiful being and find that courage to LIVE, free, unbound and fully expressed**.
So how does one go about living free, unbound and fully expressed?
Learn the steps today to live your life EMPOWERED.
Are You Having Sex Because You Want to Have Sex, or Is There Some Implied Bargain Going On?
Today we are going to explore the rather controversial topic of “trading for sex.” I certainly would not be the first person to suggest that marriage is often a form of legalized prostitution. But it surely is not the only arena where implied trades for sex are happening. Perhaps if you are willing to be honest, you can remember times in your own life when you had sex even though you did not really want to have sex. Because you were going to get something that you thought was lacking in your life.
Recently I found myself in a situation where a man was doing all kinds of “nice” things for me. And I noticed the temptation within myself to “repay” him with sex. I did not want to have sex with him, but it would have been easy enough to do. I could almost justify it in my mind. Fortunately, though, my heart and my intuition are a lot more powerful now than they used to be. I caught myself falling into the trap of feeling “obligated” to “repay” this person with sex. And I stayed in integrity with myself and said no.
What is this ritual we have of men paying for dinner? It can have all kinds of interpretations, of course. I enjoy spending time with abundance-minded people, and a man sharing his abundance with me does not feel much different to me than the “free” stuff I am receiving from the Universe (not always through men) on a regular basis.
But what about when it’s not just a simple sharing of abundance with no expectation of anything in return? Recently I saw an old friend of mine who had broken up with his girlfriend. They were together for several years. It was never a relationship of equals. He is extremely wealthy, and she is financially insecure. She gave him sex, and he let her move in with him and paid all her expenses. Which was all fine and good and relatively harmonious until she realized that he meant what he said at the beginning: he had no intention of getting married. For her, getting married was an implicit part of the “bargain.” And as her friends gave her a hard time about it, she was sensitive to other people’s opinions, and the sensitivity grew when she hit a particular birthday … they broke up.
I myself once had a “sugar daddy” relationship. I don’t envision ever getting into a situation like that again. At first it felt like a princess fantasy. He would take me to Nordstrom and buy me 15 pairs of shoes at a time. He would take me to the most expensive stores in San Francisco and drop $15,000 at a time on dresses and shawls. He took me to the finest hotels and restaurants, and we flew first class to far-flung destinations. Did I realize that I was “trading for sex”? No, I was not that conscious at the time. It all just kind of “happened.” I even persuaded myself that I loved him.
At a deep level though, it felt like he was overcompensating for the fact that he did not feel like he was my equal. Over the course of the relationship, that icky feeling started to increase. My respect for him gradually diminished. Before I knew it, I was almost two years into a relationship that I knew would not be permanent.
And it started to get very dark. I remember one time he urged me to quit my job, and my intuition screamed “no.” “No, do not let yourself be financially dependent on this man.” I started thinking about other men, and he became very jealous. One time I was staying at his multi-million dollar vacation home with some of my girlfriends. He claimed to be occupied at another location, yet he drove several hours to arrive unannounced to “check up on me” (i.e., make sure I was not with another man). I had never cheated on any of my boyfriends, but his constant paranoia led me almost to cheat on him. When we broke up, he had an engagement ring that he said was “burning a hole in his pocket.” I never saw the ring. It was all so … ewwwwww. I broke it off, and he married another woman about six months later. I kid you not. Which made me even more glad that we were not together. To me, it was all driven by his not feeling complete as a human being standing on his own two feet.
There have been lots of other times in my life where I could have married a man for money, for social status, or for some other kind of “value.” And sometimes, let’s be honest, there were times I even had sex for far more trivial reasons. It was just “easier” than saying no.
The “sugar daddy” situation made me a lot more wary of men attempting to “buy” sex from me, one way or another. At this point, I am glad that I have spent a solid amount of time single. When we have learned to be solid all by ourselves, it is a lot more difficult for us to be manipulated with our insecurities. I don’t get lonely anymore, so I have no need to have sex to fill a void in my life. Back when I had a job that I hated (when I was dating the “sugar daddy”), I fantasized about a wealthy man “rescuing” me from having to work. I did not understand at that time about patterns of co-dependency and how destructive they are. Now that I have learned to stand on my own two feet as an entrepreneur, the idea of marrying a man for money just seems ludicrous. The only kind of relationship that appeals to me is a co-creative partnership of equals. The only kind of relationship I can envision now is uniting with another person who recognizes his wholeness and does not need to “get” anything from me, nor I from him.
Life does not “just happen” to me anymore. I am conscious of my choices, and I am in charge of my destiny. So when my intuition flags a situation of a man trying to “buy” sex from me, whether with money or by doing “nice” things for me … I just say “no.” And every time I do, my self-respect increases a little bit more.
After all, knowing what you want and being willing to stand firm until it manifests … without “caving” in to social pressures or personal insecurities … is what it means toBecome Fearless. And after living fearlessly, you’ll never want to go back to conventional living ever again
Erika Awakening, High Priestess of Miracles at TAPsmarter
The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn’t already know.
I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned round to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me
with a smile that lit up her entire being. She said, “Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I’m eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?”
I laughed and enthusiastically responded, “Of course you may!” and she gave me a giant squeeze. “Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?” I asked.
She jokingly replied, “I’m here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids…”
“No seriously,” I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.
“I always dreamed of having a college education and now I’m getting one!” she told me.
After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the
next three months, we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this “time machine”
as she shared her wisdom and experience with me. Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up. At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I’ll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.
Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, “I’m sorry I’m so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I’ll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.”
As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, “We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it!There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don’t do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change.
Have no regrets.
The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those
She concluded her speech by courageously singing “The Rose.”
She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives.
At the year’s end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died
peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it’s never too late to be all you can possibly be .
These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.
REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS
We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give.
Time to FACE the Holidays!
By Michelle Butt
The holidays are coming. Have you ever noticed how some people are so excited and happy as Christmas approaches, anticipating all of the family get-togethers and socializing? And then there are those who complain about the holidays, dreading all the family get-togethers and socializing.
Well, this year, take a look at the faces of these people and I can almost guarantee you’ll see a pattern. The hostess of the big Christmas dinner will most likely have a round face with full cheeks and perhaps a mouth with full lips. This face shape tells us about someone who loves to be around family and friends. She is the nurturer of the family. She is generous and giving and makes sure that everyone is always well fed, both in goodies and in spirit. Going to her house always feels like going home to a warm, inviting environment.
Think about the face of Santa. Isn’t he the ultimate example of the spirit of Christmas, the most generous man of the holidays? Santa just oozes warmth and generosity with his round, full cheeks and rosy red lips.
Then there is the person who hangs back from the rest at the holiday gatherings; the one who keeps to herself and wants to leave early; who often seems just overwhelmed by all the fuss. If you look at her face, I bet you’ll see fine bone structure, a striking nose and perhaps high arched eyebrow, strong cheekbones with concave lower cheeks. This person doesn’t hate other people per se; she is just very sensitive to the energy around her. All of the emotion and excitement hit her like a wave of energy and it can be very hard for her to adjust. She can literally feel the buzz in the air in her skin and it can be very uncomfortable. So she will hang back until she can acclimatize and unconsciously put up her energetic wall. Then she can enjoy the festivities along with everyone else.
Think about the face of Scrooge. Scrooge was depicted as thin with a fine, bony nose, and sunken cheeks, isolating himself from the world. Yet, once he acclimatized to the energy of those around him (with the help of some celestial spirits), he loved Christmas and enjoyed himself at Christmas dinner!
Then there is the face of the man whose birth we celebrate at Christmas. Have you ever thought about what Jesus’ face says? Well, the face of Jesus that is depicted in all of the churches and artwork around the world, however subtly different has one main theme that is undeniable. Jesus has the face of a Leader. His beard and strong jaw show someone whose mission in life is to be an agent of change and growth. He is the gentle guide who leads with compassion, and strength. The prominence of his chin in most depictions show a man who has the tenacity of will to stand and face fearlessly what others would have run from.
Enjoy all the faces in your holiday experiences this year. I wish you joy and happiness, but most of all love during this magical time.
Original Post on Om Times