Life as a Celebration!

Why not live life as the celebration that it is?

One of the biggest issues I see in this world is that so many people are trying to survive life instead of living it.

We put more importance on being serious and mature than on laughter and joy.

We are deeply uncomfortable with our emotions, whether they are good, bad or anything but blah.

We limit our joy.
We limit our laughter.
We limit our love.
We limit ourselves.

Constantly we shrink our selves to better “fit in” with society. What do I mean by this?

Just think about a time that you were really happy. I mean REALLY happy. Maybe you got a promotion, your girl said yes to your proposal, you bought a new house or maybe you got to go on a dream trip or just a second or third vacation for the year. Maybe its not that big, maybe you just had an AMAZING day and your happy for no real reason.

Then a friend call’s you and when you say hello and they respond you can tell that they are just down in spirit that day. Their day is no where near as great as yours.

The conversation most likely will go like this:

“Hi, John. What you up to?” ( your friend)
” Nothing much. You?” (you)

“Oh I am just watching some TV, it has been a long day. Got anything going on?” ( your friend)

“Nah, not much. Just chilling. working. ya know.” (you)

In fact though you are bubbling with JOY, but are scarred to let it out because you don’t want to rub your joy in your friends face and make them feel potentially worse because of how crappy their day has been. Or you know that they have been struggling and you don’t want to share your AWESOMENESS just yet as that might cause them a feeling of ‘whats wrong with me, why does everyone else have good things but not me, ‘ yet they would respond, ” John, that’s really great news, I am happy for you.” Still you could hear the tone in their voice of disappointment and sadness.

So you shrink.

You shrink your joy.
You shrink your blessings.
You shrink yourself.

And you do this for the good reason to not further cause your buddy pain. So you think.

The reality is that we connect through suffering, boredom, playing it small and hiding our joy. It is so common place for people to focus on the negative that anyone who is living a F-ck Yes! Life at any level is going to feel separation and loss in their friendships and relationships in general because our life experience is so drastically different, if even for just that day or week than those around us. It is sorta like being the only sober person in a room full of drunks. You feel alone.

But does that mean that you should shrink?
How are you truly helping anyone or calling in more blessings of joy if you shrink?

Shrinking only serves you short term.

It allows you to feel connection in that moment.
The issue is that it is a false connection.
Sorta like the booze you may choose to drink to deal with the drunks. In the short term you become one of them and you have your drunk tribe with you. In the long run, you feel like shit. You damage yourself and you feel empty.

Same is true about shrinking your joy and blessings.

This world needs more people willing to find the courage to live out loud, in authenticity and not afraid to speak up!

Speak Up! About:
Your awesome relationships
How much great sex your having
The new great person you met that made you laugh so damn hard
Your promotion
Your vacations
Your health
How awesome you feel
Your joy for living
Your BLESSINGS!!!!!!

By celebrating life like this, we share our joy. We also tell G-d, the Universe, Creator of all that we are appreciative and that we are open to MORE!

When we shrink our joy and blessings we tell G-d, the Universe, the Creator that we don’t really appreciate, see, or deserve them. By shrinking ourselves we also shrink the good works that come our way.

This is NOT bragging to show how great we are.
This is NOT bragging to make known that we are better than another.

This is BRAGGING to give GRATITUDE and PRAISE to the abundance that we have received.

“Clap your hands, all you nations; shout to God with cries of joy.”- Psalm 47:1

Not trying to go all religious on you here but just referencing this passage to support that G-d has desire for our JOY.

So why not say YES to giving it?
Sharing it?
And dancing in it?

Joy can be contagious just like a smile or laughter. It is our duty as people who are wanting a Fuck YES! Life full of abundance in all ways to share our passion, our joy and our blessings. Through our happiness and openness we show the way to others.

So lift up that glass and CELEBRATE LIFE!

Live Out Loud and Free!

–KW

Picture Kendal at The Netto Bar- Curacao August 2017

Are You Feeling Liberated Sexually?

“Sex, alone, is a mighty urge to action, but its forces are like a cyclone – they are often uncontrollable. When the emotion of love begins to mix itself with the emotion of sex, the result is calmness of purpose, poise, accuracy of judgment, and balance. — Napoleon Hill, “Think and Grow Rich”

What are you scared of?

For each of us the shame and guilt that trap us in fear is different. I am not sure what your’s is.

What I do know is:

The only things I’ve regretted in my life have been when I didn’t risk.
I’ve looked back and smacked myself for not having the courage to be honest and to move in the direction of what I really wanted. To follow what my heart was saying but instead getting caught by what I “thought” I should do. Often our ego makes a very logical stand as to why we should not do things or we should push them off to a later date. However if you STOP for a moment and listen to the still voice within that we call intuition or inner knowing, wisdom, sight; you will discover your soul and what it wants.

The work you’ll do around love and sexual intimacy is some of the most powerful, profound, liberating, healing work you’ll EVER do. We live in a world where we have learned to deal with our sexuality from the standpoint of an overdrawn bank account. Always looking at what’s not there. What we don’t have or cannot be. What we cannot do and what we really need to stay away from. But is any of this empowering? Does it come from love or fear? I believe that our sexuality is a hidden powerhouse of creative energy, empowered thinking, acting and loving. I believe that through our sexuality we can heal ourselves and this world of the toxic waste that covers so many people.

Learning how to turn your friction sex into true lovemaking is where miracles can happen for your life. Napoleon Hill understood this and studied many great leaders, visionaries and world changers who all used this form of sexuality to make a difference in the world as well as following their own bliss.

I won’t lie it’s the most heart-pounding, terrifying, liberating, soul-enriching learning.

But it’s so worth it! Just as you are!!!

Embracing this source of love, of intimate connection will change your life like nothing else. There is no amount of text book knowledge, religious study, googling, or any other item of the mind that will transform your life, your heart, your personal power as quickly and deeply as experience. After all that is a primary reason behind life. To experience!

To get there though, you have to say “Yes.”

If you want a phenomenal life then you have to push past your fears and allow for the unknown to make itself known.

The best decisions of my life have come out of my leaping into the unknown. It is that butterfly feeling, the feeling of being on the raggedy edge of life’s track. It is the feeling of being scared shitless that tells you that your aiming for something grander, some bigger, something so valuable and that it is there waiting for YOU. This is how you know your on the right path to your dreams and desires.

As humans we always want to know the how-to’s and the end result, but our dreams, desires and our life are not designed to have a systematical process. When we try and logically set out a road map we loose sight of the journey in the present moment and we miss our bliss.

Bliss and transformation come from being present and allowing our dreams to unfold through us. Similar to all great writers, poets, musicians, artists and even scientists, the creation of greatness did not come from a logical plan but from something more. Greatness flow’s through us. This is the creator creating. But we have to be willing to be present, open and trusting to the choreography instead of doubting.

It is YOUR birthright to have a phenomenal life. You are a spark of the great Divine and the Creator wants nothing less then greatness from each breath of your life. But you have to be brave enough to leap into deep intimacy, love and transformational sexuality learning and healing to access this power.

I can help you get what you’ve said you want out of your relationship and life.

I know this is possible for you.

Let me help you make it happen.

All you have to do is leap. 
Breathe in that butterfly feeling and with it allow your transformation.

Right here. Right now.

Life is happening Now! Where are you at?

  • –KW

This is the shit that scares you the most! And it is BULLSHIT.

“LET’S TALK ABOUT THE THING. WHICH YOU’VE BEEN IGNORING. AND IT’S TIME, TO DO, NOW.

 

Can we talk about this? The thing that you’ve been ignoring, pretending you don’t know about, refusing to tune into, as you cover your ears and close your eyes and scrunch up your face and INSIST-
That there’s not a thing, there never WAS a thing, you know NOTHING about the thing and you’re actually taking FUCKLOADS of impressive action, thank you very much, so who the hell is mentioning a thing?
Yeppppp –
THAT thing.
Come on now… no need to get upset, or sigh, or act so weary about it. I KNOW you freaking WANT to talk about it!!!! I know you’re actually DESPERATE to do so, but not just to talk, but scream, and shout, and let it all the way out. You want to bathe in it, bask in it, you want to BE it, you want to eat it and breathe it and rub it all over you.” – Kat Lorenzo
That thing which you know you WANT!
That thing that you spoke about way back when when you found the courage to reach out and do and proclaim to the Universe and G-d that you wanted something better for your life, something better for your relationships, your love and YOUR SEX!
Yepppppp –
THAT thing.
I find that once we take action and reach out to get the help that we need in our healing and transformation that life starts to move and we experience more chaos, more fear, and YES more excuses as to why we should not, cannot do THAT THING.
OR…
Life say’s YOU don’t REALLY need help achieving these desires.  No, you got this on your own.
If that were true then you would have had it a long fucking ass time ago and things would not have brought you into the idea of reaching out for assistance about it to begin with.  You would NOT even be reading this right now.
But that is not the case…

IS IT?

So when are you going to take action?
When are you going to make YOURSELF priority in your life and not just “HOPE” that you got this thing but actually do what is needed to get you this THING?
I know, you don’t have:
  • the time
  • the money
  • the energy
  • the support
BULLSHIT!
I have said this myself so many times about so many valuable things and looking back I see how those were nothing more than excuses supporting my fear and supporting me to stay put right where I was at.
Where I DID NOT want to be. 
When I made up my mind to make myself a priority and to have the life that I wanted, the excuses turned into brainstorms of how I could make it work. I called out and asked for the support that I needed. I asked for the help to find the time, the money, the energy and the support needed from those around me.
I can tell you that making the commitment is the hardest part of the starting line.
Then sticking to your commitment is the next hardest part. Everything is going to get in your way.
Here is the thing, ” In order to have what you want, you have to make the familiar unfamiliar and the unfamiliar, familiar.” 
 
Did you get that?
 
Read it again.
 
Are you willing to do this though or are you one of the average and ordinary folks who just allow life to take them where ever and believe that in not making a choice, a commitment that you are “going with the flow” and allowing the universe to lead you?
 
Commitment breeds success!
You have sent out your desires, needs and hopes with the Universe. Your heart holds them. Your soul craves them. 
You might even be doing some of the things needed to achieve this thing: 
  • Meditation
  • Journaling
  • Reading
  • Positive Thinking and speaking
  • NLP work
  • Practicing Gratitude
  • Practicing some form of conscious touch or work
  • Eating higher vibration foods
  • Exercising
  • Writing down your goals
  • Sticking to the agenda to achieve these goals
  • Getting your “O” on even.
  • And so much more.

But how certain are you that your desired Fuck YES! Life is there waiting on you? And why the hell are you making it wait on you?

 

This is like saying, ” I am waiting for my ship to come in.” – Don’t fucking wait on your ship or on that relationship, the job, the house, the travel, the health or anything else. Swim out and get it!

Otherwise you might as well just accept that you are choosing to vanish off the planet without ever achieving your desires.

And this is not G-d’s wish. It is not the Universes wish. 
YOU my sweet reader were created for greatness!
YOU my  sweet reader were created to live out loud, on purpose and full of life!
YOU were created for a Fuck YES! Life.
It is here waiting for you.
But, there is ONE minor problem.
You are too scared to go after it.
Which means that you don’t really want it, because you think it is too big of a risk to get. You believe that what everyone in your life has told you up to this point about how your not:
  • smart enough
  • worthy enough
  • pretty enough’healthy enough
  • lucky enough

Or whatever the fuck else they have said is YOUR TRUTH.

BULLSHIT!!!!

If you slow down enough to analyze what real risk is you will find out that the biggest risk in life is not LIVING.
Not living CONSCIOUSLY.
Not living on PURPOSE.
Not living ORGASMICALLY.

“The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live.” – Leo Buscaglia

 

You know what though? You cannot ever avoid sorrow and suffering.

Ask yourself if NOT living up to your greatness in ALL WAYS possible is a comfort that is worth the sacrifice of the life that G-d/Universe designed and desires you to have?

Does this mediocre but comfortable way of being make you happy?

If you answer yes then…
Okay, you don’t want it.
So STOP reading this post.
STOP attempting to act like you want it or that you want change.
Get real with yourself.
Be authentic.
Whether you play small or big in life, just choose and LIVE IT!
But here is the thing…. 

YOU Still deserve that Fuck YES Life.

I wish you believed in you the way I believe you.

-KW

The Purpose of A Coach- Sex or Other, We Are All The Same.

Do you ever feel overwhelmed? 
 
Exhausted from seemingly nothing? 
 
Have you ever just stood outside under the stars and moon, raised your hands up to the heavens in frustration and asked, ‘Why?’ Why is this life so full of chaos, pain, and suffering?
 
Have you ever just gasped for breath as if you may not have another to give this life? 
 
I have! This is also why I have multiple coaches in my life.
 
The first half of this year was just that for me. It seemed that all of my beautiful, impressive intentions that I had written down and had been ‘working’ so hard at creating had just been kicked to the curb by chaos.
 
After much turmoil at its start, looking back I can say that the first 6 months of 2017 was very productive, had some good spot’s of personal healing to be refocused on and even the recoiling of old patterns needed to happen with good reason. I often get asked why the same things come up again and again? Why do we have to explore/experience or look at something multiple times? 
 
The answer is simple: We do this so that we can heal it at deeper levels. When we first went through the event we were at one level in our understanding, then as time passes we grow (well hopefully we do…we at least change somewhat) – the event comes back around either through our thoughts or shows up again in a new way but is offering us the gift to heal it from a higher consciousness… a deeper understanding of self and or the world. If we did not have this offering to heal our traumas from many different vantage points through life we would carry a wound that would NEVER heal. Therefore we would not be able to become all that we could become because we can only grow to the level that our wound is healed. 
 
So as you move through this coming summer think about what is it that you want to consciously work on?
 
Where on your path are you seeing what feels like a staleness or perhaps you feel like your dealing with the same events repeatedly or even have hit a wall?
 
If you apply awareness to these areas and ask for them to be worked through at this new place of understanding you are then releasing the chains on G-d/ the universe/divine consciousness so that the gateways can open to you and present the opportunities needed to make it happen. This is an important piece to the coaching path… 
 
You MUST ask for the awareness and have the desire to move forward. 
 
Your coach can only do so much for you. We coaches lead, direct and comfort. We CANNOT do the work for you though. You have to do your own work. You have to take seriously the “hope-play or work” that you are given and you need to COMMIT not to your coach, but to the process and to YOURSELF!!!!
 
Lately people are asking me to clarify what it is that I do as a sex and relationship coach. I have received numerous emails and messages on LinkedIn, FaceBook, and other social networks as well as emails and calls asking: What do you do? And Why would I need a coach for sex?
 
The biggest question inevitably comes back to asking me if I would sexually interact with a client. My response is simple: No I do not interact sexually with my clients. I am a coach not a surrogate.
 
So now that we have addressed this question, what is it that I do as a coach in the niche of sex and relating?
I think one of the best quotes I have heard on coaching is this:
 
“Coaching is unlocking a person’s potential to maximise their own performance. It is helping them to learn rather than teaching them.”– John Whitmore
 
No matter the niche we coaches work in, we are all doing the same thing. We are focused on helping you be the best you, you can be. As a coach I know that all the answers you desire are inside you. What you need is someone to help you uncover them and teach you how to use what you discover in your own inner depths. You also, need someone who will stand by your side without judgement of where you are at or how you are choosing to show up in the moment. 
 
To quote Skills You Need on Coaching: 

The ‘Inner Game’

“No discussion of coaching would be complete without mention of Timothy Gallwey and his insights into the ‘inner game’.

Gallwey’s book, The Inner Game of Tennis, revolutionised thinking about coaching. He suggested that the biggest obstacles to success and achieving potential were internal, not external. His insight was that coaches could help individuals to improve their game by distracting them from their inner dialogue and, in particular, the critical voice that said “Not like that! Concentrate on your hands! Angle it differently!”.

By distracting that inner voice, the body could take over. It turns out that often the body has a very clear idea of what to do when internal dialogues are suppressed. Gallwey used the example of asking people to focus on the height at which they hit the tennis ball. This activity has no relevance in itself, but the simple act of focusing on it distracted the inner voice and enabled the capable body to take over. The individual relaxed and their tennis improved immediately.

Gallwey’s real insight was that this didn’t just apply to tennis, but that individuals generally did have the answers to their own problems within themselves.

The essential part of coaching, then, is to help people to learn to silence that inner voice and allow their instincts, or their subconscious, to take over. Sometimes that means distracting it, and sometimes it’s about exploring the ‘worst case scenario’ and removing the fear.”

And this folk’s is what I do as a Sex & Relationship Coach.

I help you overcome your fears around sex and authentic relating. 
I help you witness yourself and be witnessed by others for your true self, not the fake person that you put out to the world, your boss, your children, your sister or brother, parents and friends and YES EVEN your spouse or lover!
 
I help you relearn how to have sex and relate from a place of love and acceptance verses judgement, control and shame.
 
I help you silence your cray-cray’s and embrace your divine self and all the orgasm it has to give to this life.
 
I help you be YOU unapologetically.
 
My particular coaching style leans into a mentorship with the support of some counseling as we walk the path to your inner knowing.
 
In sex as in life you need support, accountability, exercises to develop skills and help overcoming hurdles. Here is where you find my hand reaching out to you if you desire a life of full abundance and ORGASM!
” We speak about sex to almost anyone BUT the one’s we are having it with. Why? Because it is to vulnerable and they may judge us. We fear being seen by our lovers because of the shame that we carry around our sex. If you could only realize that this same fear and shame wraps itself around your money and life experience and that by healing your sex you tap into the F-uck Yes! Life you truly desire.” – KW
 
 
Life is happening NOW!
Where are you at?

Give Me Your Orgasm- A gift of submission.

” My hands take his face and pulls him close for a kiss that not only is connective but penetrates my heart and soul. Our breath intertwines in this moment and becomes one. I can feel our souls dancing in this celebration of love and my body opens to him. My legs soften and open wider, my pelvis tilts as I pull him in. I can feel him enter me and we both gasp with pleasure from the sensation that pours through our beings, the sensation of coming home.
 
He moves his body in gentle thrusts while holding me. Hand in my hair, hand on my hip. My hips and whole body fluidly moves with each of his thrusts as we gaze deeply into each others eyes, amazed at how connected we are; how our hearts long to orgasm into rapture with each other. He presses deeper into my pussy as though he want to touch my heart  with his cock. His pelvis rubs on my clit, his breath comes down on my neck and with each stroke I feel myself surrendering at intense levels. My pussy now wants to devour him, wants to swallow him as she pulls him to the deepest levels possible and the head of his cock rubs gently on my cervix. 
 
Minutes turn into hours, orgasmic waves roll through my whole being and force me into greater ecstasy as he fiercely but gently fucks me open. Here we are two flesh’s, two hearts, two souls yet married together through our sexing. The spiritual dance and penetration that we give to each other is untouchable. Our breathing becomes united, my pussy clenches then pushes, quivers then squirts its sweet amrita. His cock becomes harder in these moments and the vibrations of his love expand out and penetrate my pelvis. I can feel the intensity of his love and the orgasmic energy coming up my spine. He pulls me in, holds my hands down and firmly whispers his demand in my ear, “ Give me your orgasm.” 
 
“Give me your orgasm. Give it to me. I want to feel you cum on my cock.”
 
My body quivers, my breathing becomes short and tense for a moment. The building of climax that was there, is now at its peak. I can feel the sharpness of orgasm trying to escape from my clit as he rubs across it. My nipples are swollen and his chest hair is almost to much sensation, but as they tickle my flesh the shaking of my thighs and pussy bursts into bliss. Air is released from my mouth, my chest softens, my hands drop down to the bed and he continues to stroke. 
 
Each stroke although soft and delicate in this moment does not let me relax but keeps my orgasm in a soft wave where he can play me like an instrument beneath him to his will and desire. Where he can command me with his divine masculine to give him my orgasm. Over and over again, he strokes me into submission.”
Using words such as surrender and submission might make one think of BDSM which is often thought to be about power, dominance, and even abuse. Some do play in this arena with the intent of controlling another to make themselves feel stronger or more of something that they cannot reveal in the real world. However in the above account of sexing I am not referring to any of these. I am sharing a real life account of being fucked wide open by a lover. Not just a lover but a man that holds my heart and soul. He is not a random man, a man that I am just “playing” with but a man that has established himself in my life and allowed me into his for years. There is a depth, an intimacy and connection that you cannot experience with casual sex partners. It is love based. Soul based fucking and it is this sort of gourmet sexing that creates the space for this deep surrender where one looses themselves fully, where the only thing you can do is feel and be lifted up as though you are a sensual sacrifice to the gods. David Deida refers to this as ” Touching the big toe of God,” and he could not be any more correct.
What comes from this state is a gift that I wish all men could experience from their female lover, but few do as few women ever experience being fucked wide open. It takes a man who is connected to himself, his emotions, and thus can open up to his own vulnerability and fully feel his woman. Remember that much like love, you can only feel your partner as deeply as you are willing to feel yourself. You cannot get your partner to this full state of surrender and vulnerability with the depth of trust that it takes to venture into this land if you, yourself are not willing to be that vulnerable and surrender yourself.
When a woman is fucked open to this profound level and her whole body swallows you, takes you in to the greatest depth and begs you with each heart beat to go deeper, she is submitting. Her very soul is saying fuck me open more. Penetrate my heart more. My soul more. Rise up my emotions and hold space for me to crumble, to release, to dance and to carry us both to heaven in this orgasm. Through her orgasm you as a man can experience the soft beauty, peace and communion not just with her, but with your core, your spirit and the spirit of god. This is why in tantra and other ancient spiritual practices, sex is known to be a sacred act.
When a woman surrenders to her lover like this, she opens the door to his greatness. It is through her vulnerability, her love, and her power to let him lead that inspires him to move in the world with confidence, purpose and his own surrender to the divine. Only through his woman can a man meet himself fully. It is our sexing that decides weather we act from our hearts or our minds. Weather we come at life from a mechanical view or the realization that life is interconnected. Everything we do creates a wave and these waves move away from us in delicate ripples touching everything in the universe. Our sexing impacts the world at its deepest level and the more we recognize the importance of being fucked wide open by each other thus being fucked wide open by life the more we can experience how life graciously will move with us instead of against us.
From the darkness that many of us feel, we can be birthed into loving light which is acceptance, joy, authenticity and orgasm. This orgasm expands past the bedroom, past our genitals and encompasses our whole life and being. It is this state of orgasmic living that we each are called to live but often fear. Because with this state of bliss comes great responsibility. We have with it the understanding that if we are to lead a life of orgasm then we are not expected but obligated to live unapologetically raw and full of integrity.
 
This is surrender.
This is authenticity.
This is vulnerability.
This is ORGASM.
 
Only you can create your orgasmic life. It is your responsibility if you have the desire to live unbound, whether  you are male or female does not matter. It is your right to submit fully to the  greatest gift given to humanity: ORGASM.
 
Live sexy and free. Live a Fuck Yes Life because anything else is Fuck No!

Why July Is Your Sticking Point but COULD be Your F-ck Yes! Month.

Wow! July is upon us in just a few days. Fireworks are starting to fill the nights sky if you are out of the city far enough. I was out in Princeton last night and enjoyed watching my kids ride bikes, have a water balloon fight, get so excited about feeding the farmers horses and goats down the way and even more enthusiastic over trying to catch fire flies. The night sky was lovely and in the evenings simplicity it was a fuck yes night.
However as the temperature is rising, the lull of summer heat, activities and exhaustion has come over many of us and with it there is a silencing of our desire to move forward with our inner work. Many people are struggling to push through things at this time of the year. Summer time with as much fun as it presents also bares with it a sense of frustration and overwhelm.
Half the year is gone.
Another month has passed and still things are just lingering out there.
That fuck yes lifestyle, that fuck yes relationship are still not here. The problem is not your surroundings or often even your  lack of focus. The issue falls to your JOY, your LOVE, your FLOW.
We try to get what we want by controlling what we already have. 
 
We try to demand the universe/God to give us our desired life/relationship by focusing on what we don’t want to have happen and thus creating exactly what we don’t want to have happen.
We become MORE logical.
More controlled.
More rigid in our ways.
When what we need to do is lean into and breathe deeper into the natural flow of abundance that is all around each of us. We need to dance more, laugh more, enjoy more, sex more, orgasm more, cry more.
Anytime we shut down any emotion and try and control our feelings about things we in turn shut down life. We shut down our abundance.
It is your birth  right to have a life of abundance, joy, love and orgasm.
Will you accept it?
Life moves forward no matter what you decide. And please don’t try and say that your not ready to decide, because that in itself is a decision. Movement toward or away from just like choosing to stand still are all CHOICES.
Life is happening NOW! Where are you at?
-KW
Be sure to check out Orgasmic Life Coaching for Men & Women and start creating your Fuck Yes! Life NOW!!!!

Erotic Massage for Lovers: Sexual Touch To Arouse And Gratify Your Partner

 

The act of touch can heal wounds and draw couples together by showering love onto our lover’s body parts that store repressed emotions and then, set them free. Erotic massage is an act of unconditional service to our beloved. It communicates a message that we understand where our lover is coming from and we accept them as they are, along with their frailties and vulnerabilities. By first relaxing our partners in a safe space, we erotically arouse them to transcend illusions in a relationship.

 

The Power of Sensual Massage

 

“As a society, we are touch deprived. We are taught that touch often is dangerous or something to fear, to be ashamed of,” opines Ms. Amy McBain, Sexual Shaman, Creator of Intentional  Orgasm and author of Intentional Orgasm: Changing the world one orgasm at a time. She adds that in truth, healthy  touch in all relationship benefits our whole beings, “Touch provides a way for each partner to surrender and be fully in the moment. It is through touch that everything else comes and is improved”

 

“Failure to thrive is just as real for adults who don’t receive loving touch as it is for infants,” says Intimacy Coach, Ms. Kendal Williams and Creator of www.tantrictransformation.com. According to Kendal, our souls chose to inhabit a physical body so it is touch that is one of the essential ways we experience things in the physical realm, and how we can show our love for one another and truly embody it.

 

Deepen Your Pleasure Through Self-Love

 

“I don’t believe you can have a fully satisfying relationship with another, until you have a fully satisfying relationship with yourself,” says Ms. McBain. She further adds, that you have to do your own self work, dark night of the soul work, so you know who you are, before you can share yourself with another. And that includes, getting really in touch with your own sexual energy, which is source energy. According to Ms. McBain, an orgasm is the vehicle by which your soul came into physical existence- so any disconnect from your own orgasm and inherent divine sacred sexuality will result in a disconnect from others and disconnect from the rest of your life.

 

Our erotic lives are only a mirror of our other lives,” says Ms. Williams. She feels that having a loving  and accepting relationship with self first means that we are compassionate toward ourselves and do not self punish for our humanness but instead embrace ourselves and love deeper. Ms. Williams adds, “Through self love and acceptance, we gain a peace and confidence and in this peace and confidence, we experience and love others at a more penetrating level.”

 

Setting The Stage

 

“In tantric massage, the focus is on interconnecting everything. It is a flow. A dance,” says Ms. Williams. To set up a massage and create a sacred space, the most important detail needed, according to Ms. Williams, is out internal state of being and our intent for what we are giving and receiving.”

 

“Physically, the room is typically either dimly lit or bright with sunshine, depending on the intent of what you are focusing on,” adds Ms. Williams. “Some sacred spaces may be set up with altars, incense, music, candles and even protective boundaries such as a circle of salt or crystals placed in each corner of the space. Others may be simple and have only a blanket, pillow, candle and nature sounds.”

 

Ms. McBain also suggests using special music, essential oils, incense, sage, candles and heat to overwhelm the senses. She says, “Clear the space before and after. Set intentions into the space for the receiver.”

 

Circulate Sexual Energy With Massage Tricks

 

The basic massage techniques that we can use to give our partners pleasure, are, firm strokes, soft strokes, feather strokes, breath, nail biting, says Ms. Williams. She adds, “Use warm oil or candles, ice, feathers, silk and fur. Be playful and don’t second guess your intuition. Take it slow. You are making love to every inch of your partner through your conscious touch.”

 

With permission from your partner, Ms. Williams opines, you may want to try prostate massage, G-spot massage, clitoral stimulation, oral pleasure or use a chosen toy.

 

Ms. McBain does shamanic energy balancing massage-utilizing specific touches that evoke the energies of the earth, water, air and fire to balance those energies within a person and activating energy sources for them.

 

Expressing Sensuality Through Your Whole Body

 

Ms. McBain suggests using your full body to balance your lover’s energy fields. She says, “Lay your whole body on them to ground their earth energy, rub your breasts and other body parts, slowly, sensually to activate their water energy, your breath and a very light touch to activate their air energy. I also use my genitals on specific body parts, like, my clitoris to their third eye, to bring in a balance of their divine feminine to create interesting energy currents.

 

Ms. Williams reminds that in giving a massage, you are giving or gifting the experience to someone else. So, make it about them and not you. She says, “It’s important to pay attention to what feels good to you and listen to your intuition on things. Go slow in whatever stroke you choose and with the part of your body you are using.”

 

Stimulating Your Beloveds’ Erogenous Zones

 

Erotic tantric massage covers the whole body, toe to head, says Ms. Williams. She explains, “I say toe to head because we start at the feet and move upward with purpose. Through the feet, we help relax and ground the whole being. We also tap into acupressure points that stimulate internal organs and help them function better. Feet and legs are also big erogenous zones for many people, especially women. Then, move up the body to the hips, buttocks, and lower back, massage firmly, slowly. Teasing the skin with feathers, light touch or breath can be very erotic.”

 

Knowing your partner’s erogenous zones is helpful, Ms. Williams adds. According to her, erotic tantric massages stimulate the genitals but does not focus in on the genitals. It is truly a dance of interweaving the whole body in an erotic fashion.”

 

 

Conclusion

 

Massage can create excitement in an otherwise stale relationship as well as set a trustworthy foundation  in a newly bonded couple. It helps lovers to cue to each other’s needs and bridge emotional distances. Massage is a responsive platform to keep our promise to our beloved- by including erotic movements that help them feel safe, seen and understood.

 

 

ORIGINAL INTERVIEW WAS POSTED ON Master Psychic Online

Written by: Mishka

I’m a Sex Coach, Not a Sex Worker

As of late, I have been under a bit of scrutiny from several people about my sex coaching business, everywhere from friends to family to other colleagues who all have misconstrued beliefs about what sex coaches do. Honestly, I am not shocked because the truth is that sex coaching is fairly new in mainstream consciousness. If you met ten sex coaches, they would also all have a slightly different way of coaching and different elements that are included in this coaching. Even in my local area, I can think of several sex coaches, and every single one of us approaches coaching in a different manner. Some use more direct talking methods, some incorporate more spiritual practices, some use more straight education, and others are more experiential. This is on top of the fact that sex is still a taboo topic in our society, so it’s no wonder that I get both horrified and intrigued looks when I share with others the career I am so passionate about.

There’s a vast variety of questions and assumptions that people have when hearing that myself and my fellow colleagues are sex coaches. That being said, the one that comes up the most is, “Are you a prostitute? So you have sex with your clients?”

I do not have sex with my clients. Again, I do not have sex with my clients! And one more time since people struggle to hear this one, I DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH MY CLIENTS! I have zero judgments against individuals who choose to make a living via prostitution. In my life, I have known several women who have been sex workers to survive and, unfortunately, were forced to do so illegally due to our current laws. It makes me very happy to see places like Vegas that are trying to take the oldest career known to man and make it safer for both the client and the sex worker. Sex is a normal and natural pleasure afforded to us as humans that keeps us healthy and vibrant. It’s not my place to say if someone needs or desires to pay someone to have these needs met because, honestly, not everyone is lucky enough to have a committed partner. I believe in sex work when done in a safe and consensual manner.

That being said, I am not a prostitute. All the sex coaches I know (and I know quite a few) and I have the policy that they do not have intercourse or perform or receive oral sex from clients. I have written that on my website in several places and tell clients when I first meet them that although I am helping people with sex, this does not mean I am having sex with them. Yet, it is a question I get asked almost weekly. And it is actually one that has provided my colleagues and me with some funny stories.

One day, I was doing an initial Tantric mindfulness session—which includes some meditation, breathing, and Kundalini activation—with a brand new client. My sex coaching practice was somewhat new, and as he felt his sexual energy activate, he opened his eyes, looked right at me, and said, “I’ve decided that I want to practice having Tantric sex, and you love Tantric sex, and so you’re going to have Tantric sex with me next time.” I lifted one eyebrow and reminded him of all the different times we had discussed boundaries and how sex is not a part of sex coaching. He became desperate and began gyrating his hips to “show me” how good he would be at this practice. I worked incredibly hard at not bursting into hysterics at that moment, and once I had composed myself, I set some limits with him, and unfortunately, he chose not to have any more sessions with me after that initial session. It is definitely a story that I will always remember and one that has provided me with vital learning lessons—no matter how much I state what I DON’T do, there will always be people that don’t want to hear it.

Different practitioners have different boundaries surrounding the level of touch, if any, and also the nature of what happens in sessions. But unless it is specifically stated that we are offering sexual surrogacy, then they most likely are not offering to have sex with their clients. And honestly, even many sex surrogates don’t actually have intercourse with clients.

That being said, am I going to try to help stir some sexual energy? Yes! Our sexual energy (Kundalini energy) is what keeps us alive, what you tap into during many yoga practices, and what gives us as humans much of our drive. I view our sexual energy as a major tool in manifesting the lives we want, as the spiritual connection we are looking for, and as a way to take the connection within ourselves and in relationships to a deeper place. However, this energy can be stirred simply by breathing! I, personally, am not just a sex coach but actually first and foremost a Tantric practitioner who utilizes these principles in my practice. This still does not mean I am having sex with my clients!

In our society, and especially in the Bible belt, many practices are shunned without a true and honest understanding. People allow their ignorance to speak first without asking questions. Just like sex coaching is not as it appears, neither is the practice of Tantra, which is not solely about sex but instead about weaving our energy throughout life. The aspects that are sexual are about bringing greater awareness and honor into our sex lives and using this awareness to bring us closer to our spiritual source, ourselves, and our partners. I know having honor and true worship during sex is a foreign concept to many in the Western world, where porn, objectification, and hookup culture are rampant, but this is the true nature of Tantra and what I teach in my sex coaching practice. So I view the use of Tantra as important in not only my sex coaching but also coaching of any kind because, at the end of the day, most humans desire more fulfilling and happier lives.

As a sex coach, I want you to be able to dig deeper into your own feelings, thoughts, and beliefs surrounding sex. I want you to learn to connect with your own body and your partner’s body in new and exciting ways. I want you to experience energy in sessions that is orgasmic … but not necessarily have what is typically seen as orgasm/climax in session.

So if I’m not having sex with you, then what am I doing?

I’m holding a space for you to talk about your shame, your desires, your sexual difficulties. I’m helping you reawaken your energy and passion while creating the life you have always dreamed of having. I am educating you on chakras, your genitals, your partner’s genitals, breathing, orgasm, and basically anything you can think of in regards to sex. I am helping you feel more into your body and recognize that your sexual energy, when used throughout your life, will provide you with a new level of energy and vitality and the ability to attack your life.

Honestly, yes, there will be dildos, “pussy pillows,” lube, and other sex toys for demonstrations, so if this offends you, then I suggest you not come into my office. There will most definitely be words used that may make you blush and conversations that make you squirm a little, and that’s okay. I’m not here to have sex with you, but I am here to reintroduce you to your sex.

My work is done mostly with your brain, your heart, and your soul, not your genitals!

Written by Addison Bell

Looking for Mr. Forever – The pressure we SHOULD NOT feel.

I know you want someone to hold you close and handle your heart gently, but put love on hold. You don’t need someone to fall asleep beside. Not yet. You can wait for that.

Finding your forever person shouldn’t be your main priority. Finding yourself should come first.

Find out what brings your passionate side to the surface. Find out what stirs the adrenaline that’s been hibernating in your veins. Find out what convinces you to stay up until 3 AM and wake up at 5 AM. Find out what puts the suicidal thoughts to rest and gives you a burst of appreciation for the living.

Find out why the girl in the mirror looks so sad when she’s alone. What does she want? What is she missing? If it’s a who, what type of person would fill the gap where her smile is supposed to be? Is it a best friend that can make her laugh when she only has the impulse to scream? Is it a semi-stranger to drink with to erase the pain? Is it a mystery voice that tells her they believe in her, that they’re proud of her?

Find out what squeezes your heart until it skips a beat. Find out what sends flutters through your spine. Find out what awakens the butterflies in your stomach. Find out what makes the cliches come to life.

Find out who you are and what you want out of this chaotic world, because you’ve only scratched the surface of your cravings. You want a house in the Hamptons, but what will make that house a home? Degrees to hang on the wall, a baby girl, a puppy flopping through the yard? You want a job in journalism, but what are you hoping to gain from it? Aside from money. Aside from security. What is it you’re hoping life blesses you with?

Find out what you want this universe to deliver to you. And don’t be afraid to sound greedy or selfish or unrealistic. Don’t restrain yourself from having oversized fantasies, because you’ll find important pieces of yourself hidden amongst those dreams. You’ll find out what drives you. What type of human you truly are.

Find out what inspires you, motivates you. Find out what gives you the energy to push through on your worst days. Find out what you’re doing here on this earth, because no matter how worthless you feel, you have a purpose. You have a reason you exist — and it’s beautiful. You’re beautiful.

You have a lifetime to find your forever person, so find yourself first. You deserve to meet her.

ORIGINAL ARTICLE– You Have A Lifetime To Find Your Person, So Find Yourself First by Holly Riordan

Lot’s of Cock & Under-fucked

You can ravish your woman so deeply that her surrender breaks your heart into light. – David Deida

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Lot’s of Cock & Under-fucked

” I feel nothing. I crave feeling you penetrate me deeply at a soul level but I cannot feel you even with my physical body. – Our sex is feelingless. “

I have this statement that I say sometimes about sex. It feels like I am fucking the air- it is empty and without sensation. How is this possible though when two bodies are coming together and physically connecting. Rubbing, stroking, penetrating. How can you hardly feel your partner? If at all?

So many people speak of sex ONLY from the physical level. They make it sound like sex is just sex no matter what the scenario. And for some forms of sex, sex is just sex. It is just a friction based stress release focused on the physical act and the fantasy of seeing or experiencing something that is not everyday. It is not intended or thought to be something that can penetrate your soul, provide deep purpose to ones life, alter your reality even and connect you not only to self and partner but a space where you discover all of life’s interconnectedness. This state of orgasm, of sexing is not for the timid or surface minded people of the world who are looking for further distraction and release to/from life’s troubles. This sort of sexing and orgasm is only discovered through full surrender and vulnerability. It is an extremely emotional event that can fill us with clarity, creativity, joy, bliss, tears, and heart expanding sensations. It can provide us with direction, a sense of purpose and a certainty that there is so much more that life has to offer and support. This sort of sex is healing. And science supports this.

I believe that women more so than men NEED, truly need this deeper level of connection and sex consistently in their lives. When I look out into the world and “people watch” I can point out an under fucked woman every few minutes and I have to work hard to find a properly fucked woman. Yet if I spoke to women and men alike I would hear tale after tale of the sex that was being had. This is where the misconception comes into play.

You can fuck a woman 3 times a day. Long and hard even and still ONLY be giving her your cock. She will still come out of the experience under-fucked. She may even have had some “real” orgasms. But what she is not having is sex that penetrates her very soul. What you as a man are not having, basking in or giving is sex that penetrates her soul and thus yours as well. As David Deida says, ” Penetrate your woman the way you want to penetrate the world.” – I share this quote often and what I get is the deer in the head lights look from men and women alike. The concept that a man should fuck a woman the way he wants to fuck the world and in turn be fucked open himself by the world is a hard, scary and intimidating concept to fathom. It requires a masculine that is confident, not cocky. A masculine that can allow himself to be seen and felt fully like the movie Avatar speaks of – ” I see you.” This is vulnerability. This is masculine surrender. The masculine that can open himself to his woman and know that his purpose in that moment is to not just give her dick and “make her orgasm” but to be carried to heaven through her orgasm and allow for her to take him to realms of pleasure and depth that he cannot take himself. This masculine is sexually mature. This masculine knows that the power of his cock is more than just a sexual sword to slay a woman’s sex with. He is not desiring to conquer her or control her but to be opened to her and the universe through their love making, their fucking. In doing this he not only expands his orgasm and self, he also creates a container for her to dance in. To release and be seen fully in her feminine design and orgasm. In this space the two come together and are no longer just having sex, they are gods and goddesses basking in the light of the creator and they are in their full power. Here the two can discover deeper levels of self, the universe, life and they can manifest greatness in all areas of their lives through their beautiful sexing. Here they fuck each other wide open.

So back to the title of this article – Lot’s of Cock & Under-fucked.

Ask yourself this, no matter if you are a woman or man, ” When was the last time that my sex was something more than a stress release; a duty; or focused on the physical nature of the act? When was the last time I felt so connected to my core, my soul and all of life during sex and orgasm? When was the last time my sex fulfilled me to a point that it carried me through the following week in a state of bliss?

Now answer how much “sex” am I having?

If you are having sex once a week or even twice a month, if it is the gourmet variety I am speaking of than you can be carried through on it for days and weeks. I know this for a fact. If it is of the junk food or fast food variety then you are going to wake up undernourished and hungry for more sex and most likely need your next hit of its chemicals and release to get you through the next day or two. This is where addiction sets in. This is where you are not feeding yourself or your partner well. This is under-fucked, no matter how much sex your having.

There is hope if you are a junk food sex addict.

There is hope if you have not tasted gourmet fucking for some time or ever for that matter.

There is hope for you too to experience the revelation of your deepest being through your sex.

The answers are between your legs, your ears and in your chest. The answers are found in your presence, because your presence is your power and the only sword you ever need to discover this reality.

If your sex is not leading you to your deeper purpose, then it is time to make some changes.

To learn more on this topic and conscious sexing email me today or fill out an application to work me through one of my intensive programs in person, over the phone or web today.

You deserve to be properly fucked.

The universe is craving you!!!!