The Purpose of A Coach- Sex or Other, We Are All The Same.

Do you ever feel overwhelmed? 
 
Exhausted from seemingly nothing? 
 
Have you ever just stood outside under the stars and moon, raised your hands up to the heavens in frustration and asked, ‘Why?’ Why is this life so full of chaos, pain, and suffering?
 
Have you ever just gasped for breath as if you may not have another to give this life? 
 
I have! This is also why I have multiple coaches in my life.
 
The first half of this year was just that for me. It seemed that all of my beautiful, impressive intentions that I had written down and had been ‘working’ so hard at creating had just been kicked to the curb by chaos.
 
After much turmoil at its start, looking back I can say that the first 6 months of 2017 was very productive, had some good spot’s of personal healing to be refocused on and even the recoiling of old patterns needed to happen with good reason. I often get asked why the same things come up again and again? Why do we have to explore/experience or look at something multiple times? 
 
The answer is simple: We do this so that we can heal it at deeper levels. When we first went through the event we were at one level in our understanding, then as time passes we grow (well hopefully we do…we at least change somewhat) – the event comes back around either through our thoughts or shows up again in a new way but is offering us the gift to heal it from a higher consciousness… a deeper understanding of self and or the world. If we did not have this offering to heal our traumas from many different vantage points through life we would carry a wound that would NEVER heal. Therefore we would not be able to become all that we could become because we can only grow to the level that our wound is healed. 
 
So as you move through this coming summer think about what is it that you want to consciously work on?
 
Where on your path are you seeing what feels like a staleness or perhaps you feel like your dealing with the same events repeatedly or even have hit a wall?
 
If you apply awareness to these areas and ask for them to be worked through at this new place of understanding you are then releasing the chains on G-d/ the universe/divine consciousness so that the gateways can open to you and present the opportunities needed to make it happen. This is an important piece to the coaching path… 
 
You MUST ask for the awareness and have the desire to move forward. 
 
Your coach can only do so much for you. We coaches lead, direct and comfort. We CANNOT do the work for you though. You have to do your own work. You have to take seriously the “hope-play or work” that you are given and you need to COMMIT not to your coach, but to the process and to YOURSELF!!!!
 
Lately people are asking me to clarify what it is that I do as a sex and relationship coach. I have received numerous emails and messages on LinkedIn, FaceBook, and other social networks as well as emails and calls asking: What do you do? And Why would I need a coach for sex?
 
The biggest question inevitably comes back to asking me if I would sexually interact with a client. My response is simple: No I do not interact sexually with my clients. I am a coach not a surrogate.
 
So now that we have addressed this question, what is it that I do as a coach in the niche of sex and relating?
I think one of the best quotes I have heard on coaching is this:
 
“Coaching is unlocking a person’s potential to maximise their own performance. It is helping them to learn rather than teaching them.”– John Whitmore
 
No matter the niche we coaches work in, we are all doing the same thing. We are focused on helping you be the best you, you can be. As a coach I know that all the answers you desire are inside you. What you need is someone to help you uncover them and teach you how to use what you discover in your own inner depths. You also, need someone who will stand by your side without judgement of where you are at or how you are choosing to show up in the moment. 
 
To quote Skills You Need on Coaching: 

The ‘Inner Game’

“No discussion of coaching would be complete without mention of Timothy Gallwey and his insights into the ‘inner game’.

Gallwey’s book, The Inner Game of Tennis, revolutionised thinking about coaching. He suggested that the biggest obstacles to success and achieving potential were internal, not external. His insight was that coaches could help individuals to improve their game by distracting them from their inner dialogue and, in particular, the critical voice that said “Not like that! Concentrate on your hands! Angle it differently!”.

By distracting that inner voice, the body could take over. It turns out that often the body has a very clear idea of what to do when internal dialogues are suppressed. Gallwey used the example of asking people to focus on the height at which they hit the tennis ball. This activity has no relevance in itself, but the simple act of focusing on it distracted the inner voice and enabled the capable body to take over. The individual relaxed and their tennis improved immediately.

Gallwey’s real insight was that this didn’t just apply to tennis, but that individuals generally did have the answers to their own problems within themselves.

The essential part of coaching, then, is to help people to learn to silence that inner voice and allow their instincts, or their subconscious, to take over. Sometimes that means distracting it, and sometimes it’s about exploring the ‘worst case scenario’ and removing the fear.”

And this folk’s is what I do as a Sex & Relationship Coach.

I help you overcome your fears around sex and authentic relating. 
I help you witness yourself and be witnessed by others for your true self, not the fake person that you put out to the world, your boss, your children, your sister or brother, parents and friends and YES EVEN your spouse or lover!
 
I help you relearn how to have sex and relate from a place of love and acceptance verses judgement, control and shame.
 
I help you silence your cray-cray’s and embrace your divine self and all the orgasm it has to give to this life.
 
I help you be YOU unapologetically.
 
My particular coaching style leans into a mentorship with the support of some counseling as we walk the path to your inner knowing.
 
In sex as in life you need support, accountability, exercises to develop skills and help overcoming hurdles. Here is where you find my hand reaching out to you if you desire a life of full abundance and ORGASM!
” We speak about sex to almost anyone BUT the one’s we are having it with. Why? Because it is to vulnerable and they may judge us. We fear being seen by our lovers because of the shame that we carry around our sex. If you could only realize that this same fear and shame wraps itself around your money and life experience and that by healing your sex you tap into the F-uck Yes! Life you truly desire.” – KW
 
 
Life is happening NOW!
Where are you at?

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