Looking for a sexual awakening?
Every day I work with sexual unsatisfied men and women. Year’s ago when I started my practice 85% of my clients were men in search of help for some sexual issue or looking for an intimacy surrogate.
I remember longing for the day that my clients would be more balanced between the sexes. As I worked with hundred’s of starving men who felt shameful for their desires I learned repeatedly that the one true cure to these men’s issues were for them to find empowered women. Women who were strong, confident and very much in the feminine instead of what our society supports where women are to be more like men. Which only causes disconnectedness, more shame, irritation, divorce, lack of libido for both sexes, health issues, sexless marriages/relationships and shear sexual frustration.
What these men needed was a Turned On Woman!
When a woman is authentically turned on by life and confident in herself as she is, she can support the divine masculine. She has no need to compete with the men in her life nor does she have a need to be jealous over other women. She is powerful at her core and is lead by her pussy not her mind.
Now, I am sure some who read this wonder why the hell a woman would want to be lead by her pussy or why we should encourage this even? After all that sounds like I am saying that a woman should go out and live promiscuously. It sounds as though I am saying that her sexing is more important then her trade, morals, or family status even. It sounds as though I am saying BECOME A SLUT to women.
And in an essence, this is exactly what I am saying.
By embracing your inner slut through educated sexing and learning what true orgasm is as well as what true turn on is, a woman can become for better terms, enlightened. When she allows her pussy to lead she will be more creative in life, she will discover her authentic yes and no, she will feel interconnected, vibrant, hormonally balanced, and dare do I say HAPPY.
And what does every man desire his woman to be? Yeppers, happy. The only issue is that normally he is lead to believe that it is his responsibility to make her happy instead of her knowing how to make herself happy. Plain and simple, no one can make another person happy nor is it their responsibility to do this. An emotionally mature, empowered person (male or female) who is proactive understands this reality.
So can a woman of our time become empowered, happy, hormonally balanced (without drugs), emotionally stable, and in love with life among other things?
“For those open to trying the latest new-age craze, orgasmic meditation may be just for you. OM, as it’s called among its followers, is a holistic practice between two people where a woman has her clitoris gently stroked for 15 minutes in a non-sexual way by a partner with a goal to building connections and prolonging therapeutic orgasms.
The stroking is said to activate the limbic system in the body ie. the emotional nervous system, releasing a flood of oxytocin—“the cuddle hormone”—which cultivates an orgasm. However, the practice is not about the destination, or reaching orgasm, but rather experiencing the journey and whatever sensation may arise. Thus, according to its founding company OneTaste, OM expands the most pleasurable part of the climax as part of a “goal-listed” practice.
“You wouldn’t expect accessing your clitoris could change your life, but it does,” OneTaste New York office director Kim Howerton told AlterNet. “OM involves a sexual practice that includes pleasure at times, but it’s not a practice that is designed simply about pleasure. It’s designed for enjoyment, living a better life and having a better experience. It’s the opposite of hedonistic—more of a personal growth path, than a pleasure-seeking path,” Howerton explained.
While OM has been around for 13 years, people only recently started to sit up and take notice of the offbeat practice after founder and guru Nicole Daedone appeared on a popular TED Talk. Daedone, a former Buddhist nun-in-training with her own semi-twisted story to enlightenment, established OneTaste with a mission to teach OM to the world after being introduced to it by a random man at a party.
Following Daedone’s TED appearance, OneTaste was able to get a host of celebrities on board to promote its cause. It was subsequently featured on Deepak Chopra’s 30 Days of Intent on the Chopra Well YouTube Channel,where the practice, targeted at “tired and wired women,” has been viewed over a million times. Daedone says that like Vitamin C, orgasm is a nutrient that has been missing from the standard human diet for centuries. On the scientific side of the process, OM shares a lot of the same traits as Zen Buddhism.”
(— Full Article can be read at Alternet.org)
Why I Use Orgasmic Meditation in My Practice with Clients
Orgasmic Meditation (OM) has become a foundational practice for my work with clients. I truly view it as the beginning stages to helping a woman and even a man who learns how to stroke start to shed the many veils of illusion and shame from their lives. Blended with coaching (talk therapy) and bodywork this practice become a beautiful piece to an Orgasmic Life.
In working with men, women and couple’s, I teach the concept as well as the practice of Orgasmic Meditation (OM) to almost everyone of my clients. Many of my female clients who are healing body image issues, shame, guilt and trauma while they learn how to harvest a healthy relationship not only with themselves but with men again learn to desire their weekly OM Coaching session. This 90 minute appointment consists of 45-60 minutes of talk therapy then a 15 minute OM followed with 15 minutes grounding. During the course of this appointment we work through many exercises to help empower a woman and help her connect to her pussy, her desire. Women who believe they have no desire to women who believe they cannot have an orgasm discover that they have an inner slut who wants to be heard. She is there and she can be very loud. As a woman learns to release the “good girl” image and get comfortable with her inner slut, she also discovers a desire to enjoy ALL of life orgasmically.
Embracing the inner slut can be one of the most scary things a woman can do in her life time. It takes great courage and desire for healing to go against the grain of everything that has been programmed in her from societies need to slut shame to church, state and family as well as even lovers conditioning her to see and think of herself in certain ways. All the programs that women fight with are not new, but thousands of years old, set in motion to prevent women from acknowledging their true gift.
When we learn to embrace our sex, we learn that desire is healthy. Love is unconditional.
We get see the world and reality in a new light. One that reveals how fucking AMAZING life really can and should be.
Today 65% of my clients are future Turned On women. Will you be one?
Join me along with many other Turned On people on this empowering mission of living life, not just fully but Orgasmically!
2 years have gone by…
and the place where I have landed to begin again feels fresh, exciting, real, scary, joyful, and full! Looking back, I can see how each of my experiences prepared me for this new world. I have learned humility, resilience, forgiveness, strength, resourcefulness.
Just a few weeks ago, I received a list of things for homework from a life coach. One of the first items on the list was to OM. To learn and practice Orgasmic Meditation. This practice is re-shaping me, literally! I feel like an artichoke; with the prickly outer leaves falling away, sensation begins to return to my body and my mind, revealing the softer, fuller leaves on the inside.
I am discovering things about me that have obviously been there all along, just tucked and hidden far from the outer shell that is visible. Music sounds richer, relationships more authentic, eye contact more often, smiles and laughter more abundant, joy more often and in so many little things, feelings more noticeable, activities more purposeful.
All this sounds too good to be true? That’s what I thought, too. At first….but then, slowly, these changes started stacking up, demanding to be noticed. I am so grateful for those trudging steps out of my car into a small coffee shop on a dark cold evening! I am so thankful for a cOMmunity that lives authentically! I am so excited to be peeling away the layers that reveal the center of the artichoke, my heart!
Yes, I am alive, and my heart is beating, and feeling, and brave, and oh, so real!
–Laura N. Dallas, TX. (Orgasm Coaching for Women Client 2015)
6 months have passed…
Every part of my mind, body and soul are being awakened and guided to new places that I thought were reserved for only a few fortunate ones.
Kendal Williams wrapped her love and knowing around me one cold dark winter evening as I sat in a coffee shop across from her and poured out my tired and broken story. Through tears, I saw her gentle, knowing smile and heard TRUTH for the first time in my life.
Kendal has a style of coaching that is honest and direct, with constant support, through the lovely as well as the ugly. She listens, explains, shares, guides and directs with uncanny intuition and a wealth of resources.
The very next day, as promised, I received an email with a list of all we discussing, complete with easy-to-follow links for every article, person, website, and resource! My journey now includes work with her partner, Scott/Authentic Living as well as her daughter with Photography in Wonderland.
6 months have passed….and I am a new goddess
~who enjoys feeling and seeing my own body
~who asks for what I want
~who holds sensation without disconnection
~who can breathe energy into any part of my being
~who is learning to love without boundaries
~who loves self first
~who is expanding sexuality
~ who is committed to this work of transforming
I have open mind, body & soul for the next steps in my life journey with Kendal & Company as my guide.
— Laura N. Dallas, Texas (Orgasm Coaching for Women Client 2015)
If you want her to desire you … NEVER do these things:
I have long considered physical intimacy between men and women as a very unfunny cosmic joke.
Men get physical as a way to open up and emotionally connect to their partner. Women need to feel emotionally connected to their partners before opening up physically. I mean, who designed this system?
Bridging this gap in approaches is often very difficult and exhausting for even the most committed couples. Left on their own, couples can end up in destructive patterns and eventually succumb to the often devastating outcome that is a sexless marriage — each partner feeling turned off by the other.
But this sexless outcome is not inevitable. When approached well, sex in marriage is usually more frequent and better than that of single lovers. Which means many married couples keep their sex lives hot!
How do those husbands do it? The secret to turning your wife on, gentlemen, is also knowing (and avoiding) what seriously turns her OFF. So, if you’re doing any of these oh-so unattractive things — please stop!
1. Letting yourself go
While it is commonly accepted that men are the visual creatures, women also desire physical attractiveness in their partners. I don’t think it’s fair to expect anybody’s body to remain unchanged throughout the years, but making an effort to maintain your appearance is a signal to your wife that she’s worth making an effort for.
Unless bad breath, body odor, scratchy face, beer belly, and worn out, dumpy clothes are what she fell in love with, lose them now.
2. Randomly groping her body
While my husband assures me that men would love it if their wives spontaneously grabbed their junk, most women do NOT feel the same way. Being groped every time they walk by, as if “a butt” or “boobs” is all they are does not endear women to men (nor wives to their husbands). Neither does touching them only when you desire sex.
Instead, try offering physical affection with no strings attached. It actually increases intimacy when the time is right. And yes, women can tell the difference between the two.
3. Half-assing foreplay
I once heard a man say that foreplay should begin as soon as her last orgasm is over. He wasn’t talking about physical foreplay, but emotional foreplay. Women and men feel desire differently. It’s often hard for a woman to feel sexual desire when she is not feeling loved, acknowledged, and appreciated. Wherever a woman’s mind is, her body is going to follow.
While, true, she also has a role in being open to sex, you can do a lot to help her get there. Spontaneously, willingly and consistently take something off her plate, like doing the dishes or making lunches. Doing so can make a huge difference in her desire for you. As does anything that brings a bit of ease to her world. Approaches like “Wooga, wooga baby, wanna get lucky?” — not so much!
4. Not learning what pleases her unique body
Just as all men aren’t built the same, neither are women. What worked with a previous partner may not work (at all) with your wife. (This also applies to what’s portrayed in porn, as well). In addition, her ever-changing hormones can make a huge difference in her interest and enjoyment of sex. True intimacy, and great sex, happen when you’re both enjoying yourself.
This means really focusing on what arouses and satisfies her. That said, mechanically going through the “routine” each and every time, so you can get to your climax is neither generous nor emotionally fulfilling for her. It’s also important to remember that she may need physical arousal before she can feel desire. I find this is true for many women, so expecting your wife to initiate intimacy can lead to frustration for the both of you.
5. Sulking when you don’t get sex
Even if you’re suffering in a truly sexless marriage, it is a huge (repeat: HUGE) turn off if you pout, get angry, or otherwise react badly when she turns your advances down. I know it’s hurtful (and even embarrassing) but your partner always has the right to say “no” to sex. If it happens all the time, then it’s a real problem that the two of you need to lovingly deal with … together.
If it’s only an occasional occurrence that she’s “not in the mood”, then making her feel bad will only breed resentment towards you. And nothing kills attraction like resentment. And, besides, do you really want her to have sex with you out of guilt? (If so, she’s likely saying “no” with good reason.)
Sex is a wonderful part of a marriage, but it’s only one part. There’s a lot of information out there on how to improve your sex life. However, if there are problems outside of the bedroom, there will certainly be problems in it. This is especially true if women aren’t feeling loved.
So, the most important thing you can do to make sure your wife feels turned on is making sure your marriage, outside the bedroom, is in a good place.
ORIGINAL POST YourTango
By Lesli Doares