When we learn to share this intimate aspect of ourselves then there is no more reason to hide any part of our beings from our partners. In this we discover true intimacy and commitment. We embrace unconditional love and live authentically. –KW
A cool breeze whipped under my skirt as I straddled his cock. Slipping one leg around him and between the back of the bench and the seat, gently moving my hips down as to press him into my wetness, my skirt falling to the side, cars passing by, bird chirping, water rippling and a possible on looker from one of the surrounding apartment or business buildings all made for our afternoon adventure. With each thrust my body hungered to feel him deeper, his pleasure of my exhibition, his joy of the freedom of fucking me softly in public, and the tremble of excitement of possibly being seen, all deepening our intimacy, our connection and passion. In one deep breath he picked me up and laid me back on the cold bench, where I was fully exposed for all to see and for him to take more fully as well. Thrusting himself into me over and over again our heat burned and we had to take our escapade to more private domains.
Some PDA (public display of affection) this had turned into.
Not so uncommon for me and some, but it is an uncommon and even feared fantasy for so many people and couples.
Adventure sex is one of the best connective tools a couple can experience. It does not always mean that you have to go to an orgy, or swing with strangers, even to have sex in public as my little tale above shares. Sometimes adventure sex can be very vanilla and simply mean doing something that you would like to explore or do again to rekindle the heat or expand your sexual horizons. Some of my tips of the week speak of having sex in the shower, tormenting each other under the table at a restaurant, revealing no panties just as you enter a theater or show, or before leaving your car give a sample blow job. Offer you bare pussy to your lover by pressing their finger into you while they are driving, kiss more passionately and thrust your hips into them while nibbling gently on their lip. Adventure sex may just mean changing up the room you have sex in or adding in a toy or some blindfolds and restraints.
Fantasy Sex DOES NOT have to remain a fantasy either. It has been shown over and over again that through acting out, sharing and allowing ourselves to grow our fantasies in a safe, intimate, boundary respected enviroment that we not only have a more harmonized psychological world, but our commitment and intimacy level with our partner is strengthened to new levels. Our actual relationship foundation becomes stronger and the container that we act in with our partner acts as a liberating agent instead of a space for shame, disconnect and fear.
Sexual fantasy is healthy folks!
Not all fantasy need be acted on, some may not even be very physically safe or may be a turn off for our partners.
Some fantasy sex may just need to be shared during lovemaking to heat things up. Or parts of the fantasy played out during regular love making and the rest just painted as if it were a picture for both to enjoy in the thralls of love making.
I can tell you that personally I love it when my partner takes me from behind, and applies his strength of dominance by holding me firmly or gently choking me while whispering our joint fantasies in my ear, using some strong language and letting me know how aroused he is with each thrust. This sort of partial fantasy play in my book is exhilarating and heals my shame of desire.
Yes SHAME of DESIRE.
Growing up in a catholic school, with parents much older then my friends parents very stuck in their ways and with the social programming that as a girl or a woman I should not desire sex. Only sluts and whores did this and they did it out of a lack of self respect. A girl who respects herself does not flaunt, crave, desire and most certainly would never share or act on these fantasies.
Not so uncommon a program, as the majority of the population has a similar one.
What I have learned through years of sex and relationship coaching with clients, and through my own healing processes with my teachers and lovers is that the ONLY should not is the denial of myself. If I say no to myself consistently, then I reinforce the shaming from my youth. Only through acceptance and saying yes to some of my desires do I heal and expand.
This is true for everyone.
In our ability to say yes to ourselves and to push ourselves to grow and experience new adventures we learn what our true beliefs are, we learn where our boundaries are and we experience liberation not only sexually but mentally, spiritually and as a whole authentic being. One that is making the call for ourselves instead of assuming that another individuals desires/beliefs/experiences and programs are good enough for us as well.
Through our awakening the supposed demon of desire we also awaken enlightenment.
Sex is truly a liberator, a healer and one of the greatest teachers we have been given. In our closure and shaming of this invaluable tool we shut ourselves off from life and turn toward self imprisonment all in the pursuit of being a “good girl or good boy” in the eyes of society.
So stop crucifying your sex and start saying yes to the oh so evil pearls of sin. Say yes to a fantasy. Say yes to an adventure. Say yes to growth, intimacy and unbounded passion.
You may just be surprised at how powerful the event turns out to be and what joys reside on the other side of the doorway of desire.
Sensual Tantric Massage for Your Health & Pleasure: 7 Reason’s Why Everyone Should Explore This Ancient Art
Wouldn’t it be amazing if our doctors and psychologists of today actually prescribed Tantra and especially tantric massage for someones mental, emotional and even physical ailments?
Imagine walking into a doctor’s office sharing how much anxiety you are having, how you cannot seem to focus on tasks or keep life in order, how you have sleep issues and your digestion is all messed up. Imagine that your doctor after giving you a check up smiled and said, ” I believe I know something that can help you overcome these issues before they worsen and I am pretty sure you will enjoy this prescription…”
What if you had ADD or ADHD?
Chronic Pain? Irregular Menstrual Cycles?
High Blood Pressure? or Irregular Bowl Syndrome?
Hormone Irregularity? Stress? Premature Ejaculation Issues? Inability to Orgasm? Vaginismus or pain during sex?
What if you were seeking help from a counselor for relationship issues, your inability to connect to your partner or sex addiction?
First one might say “Tantra, isn’t that that thing Sting does that makes him last 7 hours? And does’nt it teach you all these crazy sex positions? Why and how can it help me with my health issues?”
To understand how tantric massage and tantric practices can fully change your life for the better and even help heal you of these and other ailments that are common to our modern day living and society, one must first know what tantra is.
Tantra has been practiced for over 9,000 years. It’s origins have been traced back to the Himalayan Mountains in India, where religious leaders believed that sexual ritual was the path to a higher form of ecstasy and liberation. Through this liberation and discovery and acceptance of pure authentic ecstasy, one learns how to “weave or connect together ALL aspects of life,” from spiritual to psychological, from emotional to scientific, from sexual to the embracing of art, music, and nutrition. Simply put there is NOTHING that is NOT tantric in life. Tantra is learning how to connect the dots and be present and authentic in enjoying the connection.
So what are the core benefits of Tantra and especially Sensual Tantric Massage and even Tantric Sex?
Several recent studies point to benefits of massage therapy that help heal the heart.
In 2008, researchers studied 263 volunteers who had a massage for 45 to 60 minutes. Average blood pressure fell by 10 mg Hg and heart rate by 10 beats per minute after one treatment. That’s about as much as you might get from prescribing a new blood pressure medication for life! (MindBodyGreen)
Now that is just from regular deep tissue massage!
Let’s Talk Sexual Massage… yes I just said sexual massage, so blush if you must but stop hiding that little smirk you have from the thought of having someones hands on your genitals for an extended time and you NOT having to give anything back to them…. Yes it is JUST for you and your HEALTH of course!
But it is NOT just about your genitals… And yet it is. The armouring of them that is…
Erections and wet pussies are just common side effects of tantric massage. There is no expectation or orgasm or climax during a massage.
That may have made your head cock to the side (no pun intended… well maybe no pun intended…) but it is true, the beauty behind this ancient healing art is that there is NO EXPECTATION.
The only focus, objective or desire in this massage is a mind/body connection which happens through the learning of body presence and interconnectedness to all of life. Your practitioner (tantric coach/teacher) does this by being the conduit and providing what is called “Sacred Space or Holding Space.” In this safe enviroment a person relaxes fully. Mind, body and spirit become one and your awareness is focused on ONLY the sensations that arise in your being on every level. I say every level here because it is not uncommon for a client to experience orgasmic sensation without the tradition expected results of ejaculation if you are a man or straight on clitorial or vaginal penetration if you are a woman (although these events may occur). It is also, not uncommon for clients to experience emotional release or even a deep meditational state of being.
So what are the KEY 7 Reasons that Everyone Should Explore This Ancient Body Therapy?
1) Tantric Therapy/Massage or even Sex is good for your hormones! Scientific evidence shows that stress causes cortisol to increase in our bodies. Cortisol does a number on every area of our being, from weight gain, to mood swings. It has been linked to even high blood pressure, impaired cognitive performance and lowered immunity. Basically it is the stress hormone and its not good when we are producing too much. Especially for our cardiovascular health.
2) Tantric Teachings/Massage and Sex improves your breathing, therefore reduces stress, helps improve clarity of mind, increases libido, helps increase stamina, teaches orgasm, and improves overall health and immunity levels. Tantric Massage and Sex acts like other similar sister practices such as yoga, Tai Chi and meditation.
3) Tantric Massage and Sex is first and foremost aimed at your emotional and psychological well-being. There certainly are wonderful physical attributes, you can expect even greater results emotionally though. As you learn to truly receive pleasure, self-esteem and self-worth are heightened, leading to a better overall happiness. You also, learn through the increased emotional awareness and release how to overcome and release past trauma which can help one to overcome such issues as Vaginismus, depression, chronic pain and many other trauma related issues.
4) Tantric Massage and Sex teaches a person(s) how to experience more pleasure by teaching how to release our armouring to pleasure. Often we have been programmed to experience pleasure in only certain ways and for only certain time frames, we then say NO to our selves and to pleasure and block our full life experience. Tantra can teach how to ignite our pleasure zones and embrace all of our orgasmic potential.
5) Tantric Massage and Sex helps a person to become more self-aware and present. Many people experience scattered thinking/mental focus or clarity. This is because many of us have never been taught how to stop worrying about the future or living in the past. tantra teaches us how we can fully anchor ourselves into the present moment where life is lived and healing occur’s.
6) Tantric Massage and Sex help people learn boundaries, connect with desires and curb impulses or addictions. It also helps a person learn how to ask for what they want and become good with the answer they are given. Many people who suffered from an inability to orgasm, had premature ejaculation issues or were addicted to sex or porn even mind altering substances discovered that through tantric work they could overcome these issue by learning presence, breathing and true pleasure techniques.
7) Tantric Massage and Sex is good for your bank account! Yes, sex/sexual touch/ sexual healing and money are deeply intertwined. It is becoming more and more common knowledge that the shame and programs we hold about our sex we also hold similar ones about our ability to make or keep money. Tantric practices teach how we can live an abundant life in ALL ways.
Perhaps now, the childish smirk, the blushing and increased heart beat you may have experienced at the start of this article have been washed away with an inquisitive openness and desire to try a tantric approach to your life.
At very worst case scenario, a Tantric Massage will leave you feeling relaxed, rejuvenated and as a few of my VIP clients have stated, “It is like going on a two week holiday and skipping to the second week when I finally was able to release all my work and responsibility stress and just BREATHE in the pleasure.”
ENJOY and Namaste’