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A Sacred Fist F–king…

openlotusIt is said that you only lose your virginity once, however I disagree. I seem to constantly be loosing my virginity as I learn how to trust deeper, open wider, surrender more and experience greater orgasmic bliss. Being virginal to me has become a true box of chocolate and with each new piece of decant smooth candy I devour, I discover a realm of ecstasy. Holding on to this box of chocolate and refusing to sample each piece would be in my opinion a great regret at the end of my days on this earth. To fear losing my virginity because of the taboo’s or societal pressure that are placed on us seems ridiculous especially after one savors the luscious bliss that most often is accompanied with such adventures.

It has been a few years now since I lost my virginity to vaginal fisting, in all honesty when the event took place I could hardly believe what was happening. My mind rattled with fear, my ego stomped around and told me how this was going to cause me physical harm, make my pussy loose, and above all else was not going to be fun or pleasurable. Certainly allowing this to happen was not a good idea. Of course my perception of fist fucking all came from the little bit of porn that I had watched and what stuck with me was the looks of pain and terror on the women’s faces as these large fisted men would slam their whole hands into their vaginas and then rigorously pump back and forth in a punching manner. It seemed like the more the woman tensed up and appeared hurting the strong and more aggressive the fister would become with their movements. As amazing as it was that a human body could engulf a whole hand and even the jerking and pounding of it internally it certainly did not seem like an act of love, sensualness, intimacy and passion, and certainly not one that would bring about a real orgasm.
But then one early evening this belief was washed away by my lover’s fist and my deep orgasmic bliss.

“Entering the house I knew that something was up. I was unsure as to what, all I knew was that my lover wanted to provide me with a little TLC and a Tantric Session of his creation. As I walked into the room, there before me lay a cushiony bed covered in rose petals, candle lit, a glass of wine and coconut oil warmed. He kissed me gently on the lips, ran his hand through my hair, as a slight tingle went down my spine and my womb and pussy began to hunger for penetration. I wanted to surrender to the session he had planned out for me but also craved more. Slowly he removed my garments, caressing my body with his fingers as he did so, then asked me to lay down on the bed he had prepared. There I lay, naked, revealed, excited, nervous, and a little insecure. He pressed his lips to mine again, and dripped warm oil on my flesh. Gently his hands washed over me, releasing tension I was not even aware I had. Softly he kissed my skin, moving down my neck, across my breasts only to stop for a moment and tease gently my nipples with his tongue. Gently sucking at them until I released a mild moan of delight, only then to carry himself downward, hands and mouth, crossing over my stomach to my pelvic bone. Teasing my inner thighs now, he kissed and massaged, fingers working their way into my velvety warm parlors, lips and tongue pressing into my clit, sucking hungrily for a mini eruption of my bliss to get things really started. My hips wanting to tense, but I relaxed and opened my legs more for him. As he lingered in his oral pleasuring my pussy called out for more of him, in my mind I tossed about the idea of asking him to come into me full force with his hard erection I was certain he had by this time but my tantric teaching taught me to restrict and enjoy just receiving without expectation or demand. To simply remain present with his touch and the sensations that it arose in my being. _
Holding Sacred Space and building trust with me, he asked permission to enter me with a finger, granting it I already knew I wanted was another. Without a word my hunger was fed, he massaged deeper and deeper into me, opening me up, rubbing now on my G-Spot while continuing the clitoral massage he was already giving. I could not help myself, I found myself wanting more and spread myself wider for him, asking with my body for him to penetrate me more fully. I could feel a third finger press itself into my warmth and then a forth. I took a breath. Pressure accumulated at my introidus, I could feel the hunger of my pussy taking over, and I wanted to eat him with her sucking muscles. It was in this moment that I lost my virginity, his thumb moved into me. His whole hand now was pressing into me like the thickest cock I had ever experienced. He paused to let me catch up to what was happening. My mind was lost in a sea of feelings and emotions. _
‘What was happening? Was it okay, safe? Did he know what he was doing? What was to come next?”
Oh, fuck it! Was my only answer. It felt divine. The pressure that was building even though at first a tad uncomfortable I discovered was dwindling and was being replaced with increased sensations deep in my core. I could feel his every movement, the pulse of my own heartbeat seemed to now be strong and speaking loudly for what it desired. I could feel him tighten his clench and then loosen again, then twist gently and open. Fingers now all inside me, dancing with pressure on my G-spot, touching my cervix, and finally when I could no longer bare the teasing began to slowly thrust in me. His rhythm moving with my breath, with my muscle contractions. I knew he could feel me like no other time before, I felt so closely connected to him, we had merged in this moment and my back arched, my breath released in a long intense moan as my hips widened and my pussy clenched down tightly on his fist while my whole body moved to press down begging him to penetrate me deeper, deeper and yet deeper. I wanted to feel him touch my heart and clench my soul as my body quivered and convulsed in the most powerful, enlightening bliss that I never could have believed would be possible.”

Thank heavens for the loss of virginity. When I revel in the memory of my first time a slight smile crosses my lips and my heart expands while my pussy connects to the moment and gets wetter with the remnant sensations. Of course I find myself wanting to play with his fist again right then in the moment and perhaps exploring some more virginity losses with some fantasy play that now lingers in my mind, soul and sex. Oh the things we could do and the enjoyment we could have with such a delight as vaginal fist fucking….

And to imagine that all this was possibly the best sexing and most intimate fucking I had ever had all the while it was nothing like what I expected or what was shown in porn. This was not an act of him having power over me and being a forceful taker of my body and sex, it was about him penetrating me so vastly and fully that we became one in love. Empowering each other with each heart beat and orgasmic rapture. This was indeed a sacred moment. A Sacred Fist Fuck!

–KW

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What I’ve Learned About Love From A Decade Of Being A Couples Therapist

 

CoupleKissingAndTakingPictureWithTablet-850x400When I first started working with couples, I really had no idea what I was doing or how to help couples that were coming to see me. It was truly a baptism by fire because I had to come up with something to help each couple move out of pain and start to make positive changes in their relationship.

One thing I can say for sure is that since then, I’ve learned a lot about relationships from working with hundreds of couples. Here are 10 things I’ve learned about couples from 10 years of being a couples therapist:

1. No two couples are the same.

One of the wonderful things about my job is I have met so many different couples from all walks of life and I have come to the conclusion no two couples are the same. Every couple has a different story and it’s fascinating to hear what attracts people together. If you’re in a relationship, don’t ever forget your own story as it’s unique and can never be replicated.

2. While no two couples are the same, most couples fall into fairly predictable patterns.

In reality, only a limited number of relationship patterns exist.

She pursues him and he withdraws.
He criticizes her and she attacks.
They both avoid conflict and withdraw from each other.

You get the idea. Becoming aware of your own relationship patterns, is the first step in bringing about real change in your relationship.

3. Attraction is totally unpredictable.

I’ve worked with the most unlikely couples across all genders, sexual orientations and cultural backgrounds. One thing I’ve learned is you can’t create a formula for attraction. It’s beyond human comprehension. And you just never know when it’s going to happen.

4. Relationships that start with a bang often end with a bigger bang.

When relationships start with a fierce intensity and passion, they often end the same way. This is not a blanket rule, but no couple can sustain that kind of intensity of connection indefinitely. You have to expect that the fires will cool at some point and that’s OK.

What often leads to a long-term successful relationship is a slow burn, taking the time to get to know each other without completely losing each other.

5. There is no such thing as the perfect relationship.

The couples that often run into trouble are the ones in which one or both partners believe their relationship should be perfect.

Perfectionism, when it comes to relationships, can be the kiss of death. No partner or relationship can live up to those impossible ideals and if you think yours can, you’re in for a rude shock.

Every couple experiences difficulties and conflict at one time or another. Just realize it’s a part of life and the most important thing is to bring compassion and kindness to yourself and your partner when you’re going through difficult times.

6. Your partner can’t fulfil all your needs.

Another common myth is this idea that my partner can fulfil all my needs. This belief is often in form of, “Once I find my perfect partner, I’ll never want for anything again.”

This is a dangerous expectation because it sets you up for disappointment when you discover your partner simply can’t meet all your needs.

It’s important not to lose your individuality in your relationship, no matter how much you love your partner. Keep your friends, nurture your separate relationships and keep in close contact with your family. Also, don’t be afraid to have interests, projects and hobbies that don’t involve your partner.

The bottom line is you are two separate individuals who have your own likes, dislikes, wants and needs. The wonderful thing is, you can share these things together and separately.

7. You have more than one soul mate (if you believe in that).

Some people seem to believe there is only one soul mate for them in the world. I have worked with countless individuals who thought they’d met “The One” and then it didn’t work out.

And guess what? They went on to form other relationships that brought them just as much love and joy as the relationship they thought they could never replace. Don’t limit yourself to thinking there is only one person with whom you could ever be in a deep, connected and loving relationship.

8. Changing your relationship is hard work, but worth it.

I know that changing your relationship for the better is hard work. If it were easy, couples would do it all the time and there would be no need for couples therapists.

Couples that put in the hard work are the ones that reap the benefits. They are happier, more resilient and able to face life’s ups and downs with a greater robustness. If your relationship needs help, don’t be afraid to reach out and get the professional support you need. It could be the best investment you ever make in your future.

9. Relationships can be boring and ordinary at times, and that’s OK.

The reality is that, even in the best relationships, there are times when it can feel boring and ordinary. The important thing to remember is it’s OK to go through periods where your relationship doesn’t feel exciting. This is just part of life.

However, the couples who recognize when they are in one of these periods and then find ways to bring back spontaneity, excitement, laughter and fun are the couples that are happier in the long term. Be aware of the cycles of your relationship and make sure you work together to maintain your connection, even at times when you feel disconnected.

10. The sex can get even better in a long-term relationship.

I can’t tell you how many people I’ve worked with who have accepted they have a bad sex life because they think that’s what naturally happens when you’ve been together for a while.

There is no reason for accepting a dull, boring or even non-existent love life. I’ve seen so many couples turn around their sex life to create a deeper, more connected sexual and emotional connection than they ever had before.

It’s true that you get what you settle for. So when it comes to your sex life, you can have the best sex of your life, even after many, many years together.

What have you learned in your life about relationships? Please share your comments below!

—Author CLINTON POWER, MindBodyGreen

Photo Credit: Getty Images

ORIGINAL POST

2 Steps and 7 Years from Out the Door

the breakup1

“True love, it’s not something you have to work at.” – Previous Lover of Mine

Relationship breakdown when does it happen? How does it start? What are the road signs and how can we repair the damage before the door slams shut on our love?

Relationship take a massive amount of work and dedication to maintain. For anyone who is fearful of getting involved with a high maintenance personality I strongly suggest you re-evaluate relationship in general as ALL relationships ARE high maintenance. The main problem that we humans have today with our understanding or should I say expectation of intimate relationships is that they should just be and remain. Once established the relationship should allowing the parties involved to deal without worry with other life events such as work, children, friends, health, finances and even our down time or play time. Granted all of these life events are important but we tend to quickly forget and take for granted the primary calling of our heart: Our love relationship. We get trapped in the belief that we have time to make things work, to prove our love, to heal wounds and to get or give forgiveness. We have time to deepen our bonds and stoke the fires of passion. All the while forgetting that it is in this very moment that we choose to keep or loose what is most dear to us.

In my years now of working with couples and singles who have suffered relationship breakup and even when I look back at my past relationship(s) to witnessing what may seem like small events that are unavoidable in my current relationship I have come to be aware that D Day does not happen in a moment’s notice, it is long, slow and gradual to sneak up on lovers. It actually starts early on in relationship and is masked by many different names: Work related stress, fear of vocalization, avoidance, raising a family, old programs and expectations, etc.

Often it is the man that is the most shocked at the loss of relationship. Being so caught up in taking the lead on being the provider and protector of his lover and offspring he is blinded from reality and is calloused to the disconnect. Excuses form in his head and Mr. Fix it is always internally speaking out assuring that the plan that has been forged will save the day and show the love needed. Sadly, this is often not the case.

From the female view point she may be feeling lost, abandoned, fearful, smothered from her duties as a woman and holding up the self-imposed  as well as relationship and societal expectations put upon her. She from this viewpoint of the pain body sees her man not as Mr. Fix It but as Mr. Broken Promise. The more he slaves away trying to repair damage, save the day, and be her knight the more she sees a lost little boy who is trying to prove himself and has forgotten about her love and true needs. Over the course of years she withdraws more and more into herself, perhaps hiding behind a masculine energy where she feels more secure and in control now because dancing in her feminine causes to much heart and soul pain, once soft and vulnerable to her mate she has now turned cold, distant and duty focused. Mr. Fix It finds himself years later wondering how this disconnect and lack of intimacy was bread and comforts himself with the reality check of normalcy and the excuse of life, not truly wanting to delve into the dark waters of truth that seven short years prior when he chose to innocently break her trust and she chose to not ignite her fire and test him out of fear of losing him was the actual breeding ground. In that moment from the past neither party were consciously aware of the long term statement being made and tossing in of the towel that they were jointly making, years later after struggle, arguments and enough pain that they both have slowly shut the door on each other the only conclusion left is that love has died and the relationship is too toxic to maintain. The question then seeps in “Did I ever really connect, love this person?” “Was our love ever more then surface?” “When did this all fall apart?”

 

Multiple things cause these occurrences. The main one is always the breaking of trust.

Trust is easily given on the front end of a relationship. It is a sacred gift that two people give and share in hopes of bliss and security. It is quick to be poured to create foundation for the building of what is often a relationship based out of need and fear of being alone, forcing both parties to act quickly and commit. This is what I refer to as: Hiring quickly.

Women are often more guilty of this practice of hiring quickly than men. Men get the bad rap of being noncommittal, while women shortly after the first few dates are planning out the wedding party and invites. The result of pushing for a quick hire (no matter which side or if both parties are doing it) is that neither side has earned the trust needed to support a healthy relationship and thus, it is common place to discover a few years down the road that you have presumed that your love, devotion and time were equally met and wanted, when in fact you may have actually bought into a fictional character and are sleeping with a stranger of which you have no real bonds or interests with. The problem now is that you are invested, you are locked into a relationship, a picture and responsibility. You now find yourself in the long term process of firing this person you hired so quickly. This firing process may take months and often takes years. Why? Because even though our reality check is before us we still care and we want to be wise about how to disengage. Or so we tell ourselves.

We humans are all a little masochistic at times and in our relationship breakups we show this off. We enjoy pain, suffering and the attention that comes with it. But that is another topic all on its own.

True trustworthiness and trust building is the most valuable aspect to any relationship. It is the one thing that keeps harvesting love through tough times, it allows lovers to be fierce in following a purpose and in opening to vulnerability. Without a dose of supported trust in a relationship the deep penetration of love and passion never materializes. Trust is also, the most fragile of love components.

For a woman trust is broken when her lover does not acknowledge intimacy. Whe he makes light of her hormones (moods) and dismisses or hides from her fires. She loses faith in her man when he steps away from being her lover and uses a fatherly dominant energy of control with her, causing her to feel unheard and not important/valuable. Trust is broken when passion is squelched (no matter the logical reasons behind it), it is diminished when intimacy is booted by stress release. When boundaries are crossed. In any moment that the feminine feels misplaced, a piece of meat, property, misunderstood, like a naive little girl or threatened, when he walks away from her pain, tears, voice and needs (even if she commands him to go) trust takes a massive hit to the gut.

For men trust is broken when a woman fights for Alfa dog role, when she belittles him and questions his every motive. When she is overly motherly, dominant and superficial with her feelings. Every time a woman pulls away her love and softness from her lover his trust in the relationship, in the security of love and her heart is threatened. Her harshness shuns trust and forces disconnect.

For both man and woman, trust is damaged when expectation is placed on our lover or the relationship. If we have a painting in our head of how our partner should show up in the relationship at all times, how they should behave, or what the relationship should look like in any fashion we set ourselves up for failure. Another major trust killer is establishing false hopes. By this I mean promises. Often we promise our lover that we will do or not do this or that. It can be the simplest of items, from I promise to get in shape and take better care of myself to setting goals repeatedly for financial rewards or promising a romantic trip or family vacation. False promises no matter how real they may appear to the one stating them can be pushed out to a degree but repeatedly stating and pushing out, making excuses for why they did not materialize will only add to the breakdown of trust.

For woman to open to trust she must be willing to open to vulnerability.

For man to open to trust he must be willing to surrender to his woman’s vulnerability.

The great feminine craves a strong, dependable masculine who WILL NOT waiver from his love with her. Whom is willing to jump through the flames of her pained heart and past and break her open to the orgasm of life. She craves his heartbeat to guide her, lead her and to have the passionate taker of her feminine reigns ignite her creative juices and dance through life’s rollercoaster ride.

The great masculine longs for heartfelt support, he needs at his core to be brought out of the dark logical aspects of life that cause him tension and stress and to be opened to his woman’s bliss and surrender to him. He craves to be nourished in her bosom and replenished from her loves nectar. He needs the safety of her openness and radiance in order to be the knight that she desires.

Steps to Prevention

  • Hire slow, fire fast if need be.
  • Limit expectations of lover, self and relationship
  • Take responsibility for your own happiness first. Looking for another to fulfill your happiness is only going to lead you to a painful situation.
  • Discuss boundaries and honor them at all cost.
  • Discuss roles in family/relationship. What is each party comfortable with?
  • Make time for love, sex, intimacy and fighting.
  • Be willing and even hungry to stand in your partners fires.
  • Lean into love when it is the hardest thing to do and you want to run.
  • Never accept a surface answer from your woman.
  • Never chase your man, give space without question.
  • Communicate. Communicate.
  • Learn to accept that men and woman are wired differently.

Remember that what you need and crave the most form your partner will show up as your greatest irritation as well: Women most of you want a leader, provider, and protector, strong in himself man, you do not truly want someone who can be whipped and dominated. You want a man that will stand there and take your heat, support you’re breaking down in hormonal imbalance and passionately take you into new realms of pleasure as well. You want someone who will be your best friend and make you laugh as well as a man who will sacrifice his very life to save yours. This can translate to: Why is he so focused on blah, blah, he is detached, being an asshole, being childish, making light of a heavy situation, over sexed, etc.

Men, most of you want a woman who is open with her radiance, she lights up the room and takes your breath away, she is nourishing, supportive, warm, and soft. She is creative and fluid. She hears you and gives you space, she challenges you but does not fight you on being the man, and she is passionate and surrenders to your leadership. She trusts you. This can translate to moodiness, crazy female shit, motherly, protective, short tempered, flaky or blonde, needy, high maintenance, driven.

 

Constantly reevaluate all the above. Never take anything for granted.

Silence or lack of input is not the sign of a healthy relationship.

If you ask your partner, how am I doing, how are we doing, what can I improve, or if you feel a disconnect and you ask your partner if there is anything you can do, get better at or what they feel needs work on in the relationship and the answer is : “It’s (you/me) are all good. There is nothing that needs improvement. I am happy, no complaints.” Then it’s time to call BULLSHIT!

There is ALWAYS a need for improvement, communication and vulnerability.

Otherwise kiss each other goodbye, because the door just slammed shut and it is 7 years later!

 

 

 

 

3 Keys to Mastering Female Orgasm

“You need to feel your man’s trustable presence before you will open your heart and body without guard. It’s a step-by-step process of learning. He learns to be more present, you learn to be more open.” – David Deida

3 Keys To Mastering Female Orgasm

embrace grab buttSex. Sex. Sex. Sometimes I have hormones and the drive of a 16 year old boy. Other days, I am as disconnected from my pussy and her desire for pleasure as my dead aunt Martha, bless her soul. But no matter how turned on, hungry and open I am there are STILL a few key things that have to happen in order to get me to cum.

Granted some things are out of my lovers control and ONLY in my hands, but if I am staying body present, that is out of my analytical, worry focused mind and instead open to surrendering to my lover and to orgasm as well as already turned on then what I need, like many women is for my lover to be conscious and patient enough to take care of three key orgasm stimulators.

Recently I have been blessed with a tad bit of what I would call “okay”- “so-so” – sex not great or gourmet sex. You know not the kind that feeds your whole being, that brings you to a point of total interconnectedness with all of reality, and loads your being with all the yummie hormones that are needed for positive thinking, clarity, health and intimacy.

Yes, gentlemen who are reading this it has been proven scientifically that orgasm does all of this and more for a woman.

More reason for mastery!

In my so-so sexing, which happens to all of us throughout our relationships and life and for numerous reasons I have have been witness to something that I have always known but never gave much credit to outside of key 1. The other two in all honesty, I have always just breathed through and thought that there was not much that could be done.

Wrong.

I have learned through my years that only I am truly responsible for my orgasm, and with that comes the responsibility to witness, learn and communicate such things as I am sharing here.

So are you ready?

Key 1: Slow the f–k down and enjoy some foreplay or I will fake my orgasm to get you off of me quickly.

Its true, all women fake it here and there and one of the main reasons is because many times even the most conscious, adoring, passionate, loving partners fake foreplay. Mainly because of these two reasons: 1) Don’t understand the real importance of foreplay for a woman and for relationship intimacy and 2) sex is being used as a stress release not for connection and joint pleasure. In other words if you are using her vagina as your personal Prozac then yeah…no good!

So guys, if you recognize in my frankness that you have been guilty of one or both of these with your lady then realize that you are forcing her to shut down to you and the repercussions will come out in other areas of your life together and in her interactions with the world.

Foreplay is VITAL! I am not speaking of a few wanna be strokes of her clit either, then a jabbing of penetration with your finger and a singular caress on a breast with a kiss, no. This is NOT foreplay.

Real foreplay should be fun for both parties. It should be a turn on for both. It should make her honestly wet, not wet because you spit on her some to get your finger in her or used lube.

Foreplay is different for each couple.
In general good foreplay consists of:
* kissing on the lips, swapping some spit not just the kissing you give to our grandmother folks, I am talking about messy, heated kisses. Share your breath, share your saliva, share your soul.
* Fondling each other during the kissing. Run those hands gently and firmly everywhere.
* licking and biting.
* Massaging your partners hot spots. This is different for each person so ask where your partner likes touched best.
* Teasing with your tongue, kisses, breath, fingers. Yes get active and take that mouth all around your partners body.
* Oral sex. Take it slow and enjoy your partner. For many women, oral sex is one of the only ways they can get out of their minds and into body presence. It is one of the only ways that they can surrender to orgasm. But you have to want to pleasure your lady as much as you want her to give you a blow job and enjoy it. If your not willing to go down on her then why the hell should she on you? And if you want her to spend the time down there on you then dito back at ya.
* Toys. This is a great way to intensify foreplay and get ready for more. So break out some toys and get playing. Be inquisitive about your partners body. Explore it like it were a magical cave because it is.

Key 2: No Smothering Your Girl! Give her room to breathe! So DO NOT use her as a boogie board. If you don’t have the ability to use your legs, arms and core muscles then stay the f–k off of her!

There is nothing wrong with being close and even to get so close at times that you feel like you may squish each other, but if you are just being lazy and laying on her then think again. Her body will close down to you and orgasm and she will be thinking about how your weight is too much and she wants you off of her. That is all it will take and you will have her faking an orgasm to get just this.

Holding down hands is amazing, pressing deep into her is wonderful, but REMEMBER to adjust your position and know what her favorite position is as well. All women are built differently and position plays a significant role in rubbing the right spot for long enough to achieve REAL orgasm. For example: Personally I am not a fan of being on top, not for any reason other then I feel my partner the least in this position and simply cannot orgasm this way. Although, I know that my lovers enjoy the view and most likely the feel, so yeah you have guessed it. I either fake it, forget about it or have to work really hard at achieving a microscopic feeling. For me personally, I adore flat doggie style (where the woman lays on her stomach while the man penetrates her from behind pressing through her legs and into her. This position hits my G-spot and a few other juicy zones and I can cum almost every time as long as foreplay is good and my lover has some stamina. My other favorite is missionary, I get depth, can adjust my hips, can move with my partner, can touch and be touched, can have my legs in different positions and can kiss. This position is wonderful UNLESS I am being squished for a period of time, Then you lost me!

In order for orgasm to happen your woman needs to be able to move and breathe. If she can’t arch her back, move her arms, hands, legs and head some then she will feel closed and thus shut down to you and orgasm. Now bondage play does not count in this, but this tip should be taken into account even there. Remember that your woman is like the ocean in everything she does. She needs to be able to move.

Key 3: OMG, she is cumming! I think? Maybe. Yeah that is an Orgasm, yeah I am done. Pump, pump eww, goo, pass out!

This is one of the most frustrating events for the majority of women. So let me make it clear to all men reading this. Women are NOT wired like men! We take time and our orgasm builds up like a wave(s). We do NOT just pop!

So most of the time you “think” she had an orgasm when in fact, you teased her with the sensation of the beginning of one and then left her hanging and now she has female blue balls! Yes women get a version of blue balls and any of you gents who have had this painful sensation should understand the frustration, irritation and disconnect from your partner when you get this.

The tip here is simple. Develop stamina and patience. When she is cumming, KEEP GOING! Watch her body, breath, words. If you have done the other two keys then she should be able to surrender to orgasm and have a real one, but NOW she NEEDS you to be her knight in orgasm armor and bring her all the way into rapture. This will only cum from your patience and stamina.

Remember that on average it takes men 2-10 minutes to achieve climax.
It takes most women 25-40 minutes to achieve climax.
Depending on what is happening and what kind of orgasm is coming about the time does vary.
You can shorten the time by seducing her, foreplay, giving her room, knowing her body and how to touch her, varying the sex dance (don’t get caught in a repetitive motion of just thrusting in her, she needs variety.)and your stamina.

So get busy folks, but take your time playing in the vaginal sandbox!

–KW