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The Secrets of Erotic Influence with Women

submissiveMany women are “closet submissives.” Do you have what it takes to erotically dominate these women?

At the risk of “tooting my own horn,” I have had many women refer to me as “The Black Christian Grey” as well as “The King of Verbal Seduction” (a nickname frequently used on my adult-themed podcast program, The Erotic Conversationalist).  To this day, I have a number of e-mail messages and messages on the popular social networking site, Facebook, from women who refer to me as “Sir,” “Daddy,” or “Mr. Currie” instead of simply “Alan.”  I have a number of audiotapes of me erotically dominating women verbally that these women have actually asked me to share with other women.

Is this a ‘talent’ that only I possess?  Of course not.  Any man with some degree of “Alpha Male” traits can learn how to identify, seduce, and train a woman who is what I refer to as a “closet submissive.”  Closet submissive?

The term “being in the closet” is usually attributed to a gay male or lesbian female, but there are a lot of men and women who are “in the closet” regarding their erotically submissive side.  What many in society may be surprised to learn is that many men and women actuallypay money to be erotically dominated.

For men, this is where a woman who is a “dominatrix” comes into play.  Years ago, when I lived in Los Angeles, there was an article about a woman who was earning $125,000+ per year as a top-notch dominatrix.  She said that roughly 85% of her regular and semi-regular clients were men and approximately 15% were women.  At that time, she was charging anywhere from $150 for a one hour session to as much as $400 for a three hour session.

I have actually had my own female clients who have paid me a small sum of money to teach them and train them how to be less ‘prudish’ with their romantic and sexual partners, and instead become more open-minded, free-spirited, and erotically submissive.

In the fetish world of BDSM, and I would even say in society as a whole, there are generally three types of male and female sex partners:

  1. A “Top” or “Dom“:  This is a sex partner who is erotically dominant with their designated partners 99.99% of the time.
  2. A “Bottom” or “Sub“:  This is a sex partner who is erotically submissive with their selected sex partners 99.99% of the time.
  3. A “Switch“:  This is a sex partner who is erotically submissive with their partners some of the time, and other times, they take on the role of the erotically dominant partner.

Over half of the reason why the Fifty Shades of Grey erotic trilogy was so popular with women was because the male protagonist was very erotically dominant.

I am not going to give away all of my secrets of training a closet submissive, but I will offer a handful of tips for those single heterosexual men looking to enhance their sex lives and their ability to connect with an “undercover sub”:

1)  Ask a woman to repeat something that you want to hear.

Comment:  The very first way that I identify a woman who is a ‘closet sub’ is to ask her to repeat something that I want to hear.  It could be something flattering to my ego, or something very kinky.  If the woman gives you a lot of resistance, and exhibits a high degree of defiance, then nine times out of ten, she is not a submissive type.

2)  Ask a woman to refer to you as “Sir” or some other nickname of authority

Comment:  Similar to tip #1, if a woman resists calling you ‘Sir’ or “Mr. [your last name here],” then nine times out of ten, she is not a submissive type.

3)  Do not ever engage in lengthy conversations with your female sub about subject matter that is trivial and/or too lighthearted in nature

Comment:  Engaging in “trivial chit chat” and “lighthearted small talk” is the number one thing that lowers your seductive and erotic influence over women.  Trust me on this.

4)  Get your female sub to a point where she associates your name, your face, your voice, and/or your presence as a whole with something highly erotic

Comment:  Did you see the movie, Nine and a Half Weeks, starring Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger?  Rourke’s character of “John” was very good at getting Elizabeth (Basinger) to associate his companionship with the idea of being erotically aroused and sexually satisfied.

5)  “Punish” your female sub by denying them your attention and companionship when they are not erotically obedient.

Comment:  Do not ever allow your new “trainee” to share your company or even maintain a conversation with you in an instance where she has been “disobedient” or “defiant.”  Ignore her indefinitely until she apologizes.

6)  Last, but not least, make sure that your entire “domination-submission” relationship is mutually beneficial, consensual, exciting, and satisfying.

Comment:  A dom-sub relationship should never be violent or abusive.  It should be intriguing, enjoyable, and center on mutually beneficial pleasure.  Never “force” or “coerce” a woman to be your sub.  Simply ask her to be obedient and submissive to you, and if she declines, let that be the end of it.

You can gain more tips in my book, Oooooh . . . Say it Again: Mastering the Fine Art of Verbal Seduction and Aural Sex

If you are a woman who is a ‘closet sub’ reading this, say, “Thank you for writing this article Sir.”

Good girl.

 

Written By Alan Roger Curry, The King of Verbal Seduction

Original Published on My Tango HERE

 

5 Signs You’re In A Highly Sacred Relationship

couple-relationshipRelationships provide the opportunity to teach us many lessons. Whether it’s between parent-child, friends, or even strangers, we can learn so much more about ourselves in relation to others.

On some level, every relationship is sacred as it holds opportunity for us to grow. However, there’s something distinct about the intimate relationship shared by lovers. Our partners are not defined by genetics or familial bonds. We’re not necessarily thrown into proximity by way of work or school environments. We choose willingly to enter into relationship with them. In addition, there’s the added component of physical intimacy.

Here are five characteristics of healthy, sacred relationships:

 

1. You can be yourself.

In a sacred partnership, you won’t feel the need for self-censorship. You feel free to show the spectrum of who you are and lose the masks often worn in society.

Even though you may still feel self-conscious about some of your behaviors, you work through your hesitation and often end up laughing at yourself. In the presence of this other, you are more accepting of the things you once tried to hide.

2. You maintain individuality.

Even though all barriers have been removed to allow room for your significant other, you still find independence within the relationship. Though you share many things together, you still have some of your own interests and pursuits.

You are not reliant on the other’s presence to fully function or feel whole, nor would your partner expect or demand otherwise. Your partner supports and encourages your individuality, as do you for them.

3. You have a mutual desire for personal evolution.

Consciously sacred connections always move in the direction of growth: for the partnership and for each individual. A desire to impede the growth of the other for one’s comfort is a manifestation of fear. Even when one is concerned that the relationship may dissolve, they accept that their paths may diverge for the benefit of both. Evolution is put before personal gain.

4. You “hold space” for each other.

The art of holding space for another is rooted in love and respect. It means listening to them wholeheartedly and letting them know by your complete presence that they are seen and valued. It’s not a space where you try to fix the other person. It’s about being witness to the totality of your beloved.

5. You’re peaceful.

Life doesn’t feel blissful all of the time, nor will any relationship. However, the majority of time spent together will be peaceful. Interactions with each other will leave each party feeling invigorated as opposed to drained.

An undercurrent of anxiety is not desirable to either individual. Though there may be stressful situations (schedules, children, relatives, job demands, etc.) both parties are committed to reinforcing their bond with minimal friction.

In conclusion, highly sacred relationships present a number of characteristics. These qualities can be seen in all types of relationships, but meet specific challenges in the romantic realm. Some unions will last a lifetime and others are brief. The one thing all have in common is that they provide some of the most transformative interactions you can experience.

Source: “5 Signs You’re In A Highly Sacred Relationship,” from mindbodygreen.com, by F. Emelia Sam

Photo CreditShutterstock.com

– See more at: http://theunboundedspirit.com/5-signs-youre-in-a-highly-sacred-relationship/#sthash.xvxfb1RI.dpuf