Sacred intimacy and love thickly filled the room from the moment I walked out of the moist bathroom into the candle light. There I stood freshly cleansed from all of the negativity of the day, wrapped in a white sheet, looking like a Roman Goddess. Duncan bowing his head in reverence to me, hands held in the honoring Namaste’ position. A soft exchange of words between us as he took my hands and guided me deeper into the Sacred space. As I looked about the room, I saw the flickering light of numerous candles, roses lined upon the massage table that was draped in white linen and a glass container of ceremony oil. My guide helped me seat myself upon the table then gently placed his hand on my heart chakra while holding mine on his. Synchronizing our breath’s we gazed for a moment into each other’s eyes. Read more...
The earth has acknowledged many saints and prophets and as the central figure of Christianity. Jesus Christ is 1 of the most popular personalities. Who doesn’t know the story of his birth, persecution, death and subsequent resurrection? Nevertheless, there is a connection to historical Tantra to his story, as effectively. Do you wonder at this? Read on…
From the age of 13 to 29 decades, Jesus’ lifestyle is largely unaccounted for by Christian historical past. There are, in simple fact, elements of a resurrection or ‘rebirth’ even to this aspect of his lifestyle. Let a Tantra instructor to clarify the concept of this obscure truth to you.
The scriptures of Tantra record Jesus as a single of the 84000 avatars of the Almighty. An avatar, in Sanskrit, signifies a divine being sent down to pursue a certain spiritual mission. Read more...
The True Fountain of Youth ~ Sex is Good for Your Health!
Have you ever just felt so incredibly out of control of your life that you could scream? I sure do at times. But then in the midst of all the chaos of the world and the craziness of your life, God seems to throw out funny little “coincidences” (I do not believe in coincidence but you get what I mean here). These things seem to be like a big flaming red arrow pointed over your head in the sky, trying to guide you in the direction that you should travel, but when you seriously contemplate following this path it gives you butterflies in your tummy, a nervous feeling all over, your heart races, the room you are in gets hot. And then without failure your logical mind takes over yet again and discredits that arrow in the sky that God had arranged so nicely for you to see. “It’s just clouds.”
Have you ever felt as though you could conquer any obstacle thrown your way? That is if your mood was right and you had the right support system in place. Again, I sure do at times. Other times I feel like I am the mud flap on that back of Ford F150 and my owner has decided to go on a very hard and muddy country road to make sure he has gotten good use out of me. But on the days that I feel that the world is my little platter of the best cheesecake your heart to ever long for, those days I glow with an energy that I wish I could maintain throughout life’s little quirks. Those days, I am full of creative spirit, God speaks in the universe and I can hear his voice.
Have you ever felt a love in your soul so strong that it kept you awake at night. So vivid that it bombarded your every waking moment too. Making time seem to stop and yet in the same flash of time move ever quicker. Have you heard the angels singing a love chorus in the heavens because there is no such thing as perfect as love. True love. The things songs are written about, movies are made for, poems and books are read for. The thing that we all long for and pray God will bless us with. When one has a love like this, then the days are easier to conquer. The tidal waves of life seem like little ripples in the bath water around your toes. The logical mind that tried so hard to overcome the soul with fear gets put in its place, because the soul regains it gumption for life, it grabs hold of its true spiritual design and decides that the only way to be, is to fly free.
The bitter sweet realities in life, brought to attention through a glass of wine.
Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness said Carl Jung. Have you ever noticed that as you sip from a glass of full bodied wine that you gain both the happiness and the sadness within it’s very essence? The velvety texture of a good Merlot can make you feel as though your body has just slipped between satin sheets and come to certain a place of ecstasy. The warmth that fills your chest as it travels downward is as heavy and strong as a lovers hand pressing against your skin.
If you hold a glass close enough to your senses you can smell the sweetness of chocolate and berries. Causing a great anticipation of the moment it touches your lips and glides into your mouth. The saliva buds become active with the thought of this heavenly taste within your mouth.
Wine carries with it many precious celebratory memories of life season’s gone by. It holds hopes and dreams of a plentiful happy future. It has an ability to make romance a bit more sensual and sex a bit more intense. It quenches the thirst of the body and of the soul in a way that no other drink can.
With all this joy comes great sadness in a glass of wine. As with anything in life, there must be balance of the two.
Wine has a mood of it’s own. It stares at you in times of pain as you look down into your glass and laughs as we settle into those sweet memories that seem so distant a thing. In these moments we may find our senses grabbing hold of its bitter side. Feeling instead of warmth from it presence, fire in the chest. As if we were holding a dragon captive in the tower of our body.
It is in these times that wine can cause tear drops to form from our eyes and our heart to pound to the beats of a sadder drum. We may find ourselves pouring one to many glasses or skipping on the glass entirely and just sitting on the porch, bottle in hand. The rain must come down in life, in order for new grass to grow and flowers to bloom. It is as perfect poetry as the wine itself. The perfect balance of sweet and bitter!
Why Sessions? Why would someone book an "intimate" ession with a man or woman that is not their lover?
A client asked me this recently, and at the time I listened only to the emotion of her answer- didn’t try to frame a motivational response. The question has stayed with me, though, and I have a number of good answers:
1. Creating a new reference point: The purpose of a counselling (or bodywork) session is to facilitate supportive change. In other words not just to talk about newness or other perspectives on a problem, but to experience a new way of being that has not been felt before. Talking about the love a non-abusive father has for a daughter is very different to simply being held lovingly and appropriately by a male healer, while grieving the hurt of the past abuse. A deep energetic impartation occurs which the client can carry with them, compared to a conversation.
2.Experiencing skill and mastery from a partner: Professionals have worked hard, and worked deep with themselves to bring artful skill to the session; we have learned technique and we have learned presence. Think of the difference between a massage from your partner, and a massage from a touch therapist!! They do not compare.No matter how lovingly your partner tries to get that headache trigger spot behind your head, it’s not the same as having the professional find it, work on it and fix it. Trust is a big factor in removing guardedness in the body- and the amount of gentle skill that one brings is as important a factor as willingness and kind enthusiasm.
3. A personal, sacred session space: A session is ALL about the client. It is one of the few times in life where you can relax into your own experience and awareness; drop the need to ‘take care’ of the Other. Letting go is so much easier to learn when the roles are clear. After 5 minutes you are not worrying that the Other is bored -they are completely intent on being available to you. When you can focus on your own process, you can go deeper into it. Giving yourself permission to feel and express can begin with session experiences of how healing and ‘right’ that allowing can be. Moving this newfound confidence into your relationship is then easier.
4. a place of no judgement: deeper than experiencing the focused attention of the facilitator is knowing that there is no judgement at all about you, what comes up for you, or how you choose to live your life. We have much experience of the shades of grey in life, and we embrace people’s experiences and challenges as meaningful and full of significance. The relief of being authentic is a delightful experience. Think of a midwife who can honestly say she has heard women make some WEIRD noises in her time. Well, therapists have seen and heard much too! You couldn’t embarrass, surprise or freak us out if you tried (Although, you are welcome to try !!).
5. Its been my experience: I have been privileged to both participate in and facilitate these experiences of trust, intimacy and vulnerability. Every single time has been illuminating, kind, helpful, deeply unifying and healing. I have fond memories of very magickal healing moments, and the beautiful people who I shared them with. Tears turning to pleasure, shame to delight.
I highly recommend considering opening the door on more than counselling…
READ MORE from Life Craft or view original blog post HERE
Does Tantra help to achieve a full body orgasm? Can both men and women enjoy multiple orgasms? Does tantric lovemaking last longer? These questions are asked often by individuals who are starting on the tantric path, and they have as many answers as there are people asking it.
We were born with the gear for making love and pleasuring ourselves, but “having it” doesn’t mean that we know how to use it to its fullest. Hardly anyone was fortunate enough to be taught the art of lovemaking. Luckily it’s never too late to learn and expand… whether you are 19 or 90…
In ordinary lovemaking, the feelings, attention, and energy are focused mainly in one area: the genitals. The sensations in our genitals are delightful, however, by being focused on “down there” there is a goal and when that goal is realized, this particular sexual episode is over.
In tantric lovemaking, movement, breath, sound and presence are the keys to expand our ecstatic energy and spread it throughout the whole body. Using these keys allows the expansion of bliss and ecstasy rather than release of energy. This is what we call “orgasmic bliss”.
The body can actually contain a vast sexual energy, and when this sexual energy is built up and held in the genitals, release is inevitable – the point of no return. Instead, you can consciously decide to distribute your energy throughout the whole body, thus increasing the body’s capacity for more energy and more pleasure.
And why not continue going higher and higher in lovemaking, even to the point where there is so much ecstasy in the whole body that you become bliss and you don’t have to do anything to stay in bliss? This can be a spiritual experience – you become one with God, yourself and your partner.
The One Big O and Many Little o’s
Orgasm is defined as “involuntary redistribution of energy”. For example, a sneeze falls into this category. So does the One Big O. And so do the many little o’s that we experience throughout the day. Observe yourself. Do you feel a tremor in your body when you taste chocolate mousse or smell a fragrant, perfect rose? Those are more subtle little o’s and they can be triggered by anything that is pleasurable to you.
Generally, orgasm is associated with genitals, as in “the One Big O”. We all know the delicious feeling when we have a Big O – either through self-pleasuring or lovemaking with our beloved. An incredible release of energy happens, our mind stops, our body contracts and lets go, contracts and lets go, undulating in uncontrollable orgasmic spasms. This orgasmic movement feels good.
And it does not have to be related to the genitals. Perhaps you have experienced the following: after a Big O, you relax deeply, you let go completely. This deep relaxation is a conduit through which your orgasmic energy flows into every cell of your being. The sensations could be shivers, your body shakes a little, and you feel as if streams of electrical currents rush through your body like lightning.
The energy moving from the base of the spine upward is what we call a “little o”. This reflex, or the little o’s can be activated anytime, independently of the genitals; for example by smelling that fragrant rose, or enjoying that chocolate mousse mentioned above, or by sharing an embrace. This experience is healing for mind, body and soul, and by cultivating it, pleasure will be abundant in life.
We are blessed to have this phenomenon built into our body. Unfortunately, Western culture has taught us to repress pleasure and our ecstatic self. Knowing this, we can now consciously begin to enjoy the day’s many little o’s and expand all aspects of our daily life into a truly orgasmic experience. Begin to notice this energy, however subtle it may be, welcome this sensuous part of yourself and validate yourself each time you experience a little o.
Our motto is: forget about the One Big O and enjoy the abundance of the little o’s!
This is a repost from Institute For Exstatic Living
Are you noticing a dwindling affinity in your professional and community partnerships? Has the love drained right out of your romantic relationship? Do you feel less connected than you used to? Do you “know” that you love each other, but you just don’t “feel” it in quite the same way any more? Or, are you afraid of involvement because you fear “losing yourself” in a relationship? Do you often feel resentful of family members or friends?
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, you may have a the emotional equivalent of a “cancer” in your relationships – the cancer of resentment. Resentment seethes silently in relationships, slowly destroying intimacy and trust and finally, love. You hardly notice as it quietly eats away at the vitality of your relationships, partly because it is so subtle in the beginning. Yet behind the veil of your conscious mind it mushrooms out of control, fed by unconscious habits.
And what is the typical source of this resentment? In a word, sacrifice. That’s right, sacrifice. It is a law of relationships that sacrifice leads to resentment and guilt in your relationships. The tendency of sacrifice is giving to get, which is always a breeding ground for resentment and guilt.
What do we mean by sacrifice? Our definition of sacrifice is simply doing something for someone else that you don’t really want to do. Sacrifice is motivated out of the fear of what will happen if you don’t give. You see, your guilty thoughts make you think that you should sacrifice for the well being of others. Sacrifice is based upon the idea that you are supposed to love others more than you love yourself. So, people confuse love with sacrifice. And, if your parents (or whoever raised you) taught you that sacrifice is love (as our culture certainly teaches all of us) you will get upset or feel unloved if others won’t sacrifice for you.
There is a wheel of sacrifice that crushes everyone who gets on it. It goes like this:
1. When you sacrifice (do something you don’t really want to do for fear of what will happen if you don’t) you have
2. An unspoken expectation (e.g., that they will sacrifice for you later or regard you in a particular way or love you more) that creates hidden agendas, but, you get
3. Disappointed because they fail to fulfill their end of the bargain (e.g., love you the way you want them to or do what you want them to) so, you become
4. Resentful, perhaps angry (after all I’ve done for you!) which leads inevitably to
5. Guilt (because resentment is an attack on the other and attack always boomerangs on us at some level) so, the best way to atone for your guilt is to
1. Sacrifice some more to prove what a good and loving person you really are. And ’round and ’round you go on the wheel of sacrifice.
How do you get off this vicious circle? Three ways:
1. Use forgiveness to heal your guilty thoughts and feelings (the root of your impulse to sacrifice.)
2. Stop sacrificing, create a new understanding in your relationships that sacrifice is toxic and agree not to do it anymore or expect others to do it for you which means you have the freedom to say no without losing love.
3. Make clear requests and have your expectations be explicit.
Now, clearly there is a fine line between sacrifice and service. Real service, or giving, has no strings attached and expects nothing in return later. The reward is in the experience of the giving itself.
Sacrifice can be a difficult pattern to break because our entire culture is geared toward sacrificial love. Just reading about this idea may make you very uncomfortable because it goes to the very heart of the Judeao-Christian ethic, as we have learned it. But, when you look at it closely and dispassionately it is easy to see that sacrifice is not love at all, but in fact diminishes the experience of real, authentic love over time in a relationship.
Can you imagine what your relationships might be like if no one sacrificed, but only did what they wanted to do? It might be hard to imagine if that is all you have ever known. Think of it like this – the people you love and who love you would be in your life because they really chose to be there, not because they felt obligated to be there. Obligation is sacrifices twin sister. Obligation makes us think we need each other (in psychologically unhealthy ways) rather than choosing freely to relate with each other.
When we first created our relationship we were aware of this pattern and made some choices and agreements to help us overcome it, because we knew that if we perpetuated sacrifice and obligation in our relationship, it would kill our love with resentment. Our own relationship would succumb to the cultural cancer of resentment. So, we agreed to always tell each other the truth and that we would only do in our relationship what we really wanted to do. We also agreed not to get angry and withhold our love if one of us said no to the other. And it was not always easy, but we were very diligent, which is one of the reasons we are still together today. We really choose to be together and our love is very much alive.
The idea we are presenting here is a big idea. It is huge. It goes against our cultural upbringing that says you know someone loves you to the degree that they are willing to do things for you that they don’t really want to do. And if they decline to do them, it means they don’t love you. This has probably been used by all of us at one time or another as emotional blackmail. You know, “If your really loved me, you would . . .”
Sacrifice masquerades as a virtue in our culture. Because of how deeply this is ingrained, you may experience enormous resistance to getting this. And you may not. Even if you don’t, it is important to be aware that many people do.
In our next installment, we will talk about some solutions if you find yourself sacrificing and resentful in your relationships. We will also offer some alternative ways to “be” in your relationships to help you create relationships free from sacrifice and resentment, so your relationships can be “sacrifice free zones”! That way you learn the fine art of being true to yourself and the partnerships you create.
Written by Paul & Layne Cutright 2001 www.PaulandLayne.com
What do men wish women knew? That depends on the kind of man. We’ll look at the three stages men grow through as they evolve spiritually as lovers. At each stage, men want something different from women.
1. “My way or the highway.” You may recognize this attitude, or maybe your man has actually said these words to you. Some men want a woman to be obedient, and that’s that. We’ll call this kind of man a “me-man,” because his priority is getting his own way, being king of the castle.
2. “Let’s share our feelings and be fair.” When a man grows beyond his need to dominate a relationship, then he is careful to divide the pie evenly. He agrees to do the dishes on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and you agree do them on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. He takes the children to school in the morning, and you pick them up in the afternoon. We’ll call this kind of man a “50/50 man” because his priorities include equality, independence, and sharing.
3. “Let’s open our hearts, surrender to love, and give our deepest gifts.” When a man grows beyond his need to be in charge and his need to create safety, then he has become a “heart-true man.” The priority in his life is no longer about self-centered achievement. Nor is his priority to create a comfortable home and a relationship centered on fairness. Instead, like an artist learning to open and express his deepest heart, his priority is to live as love and give his deepest gift. He wants to be with a woman who is willing to surrender, as he has, to the force of divine or sacred love. And this kind of openness can be risky business.
1. A me-man wants a woman to know how to give him physical pleasure whenever he wants it.
2. A 50/50 man wants a woman to know how to share her emotions with him, talk with him during sex, tell him what she likes and doesn’t like, and express her sexual desires freely. He wants to give her pleasure as much as he wants to receive pleasure. He wants to be careful so they both feel comfortable.
3. A heart-true man’s priority is not to give and receive physical pleasure or emotional comfort, but to dissolve with his lover in the ecstasy of unbounded love. He wants her body and heart to open so wide that he is drawn into her love, and through her love, into an openness of love without bounds. He wants to let go of his sense of separation and meld with his woman, opening with her as one radiant heart of bliss. In this vulnerable, unprotected embrace, he wants to consciously ravish his woman with so much love that she has no choice — that they have no choice — but to surrender open as infinite love.
DEPENDENCE, INDEPENDENCE, AND COMMUNICATION
1. A me-man wants a woman to depend on him, emotionally and financially, so he can feel good about himself and enjoy a strong sense of self-worth. Likewise, his woman wants to feel special, depended on for the pleasure, affection, and love that she gives her man. This is the least mature form of relationship, in which lovers are co-dependent, craving to be appreciated and seen as strong or beautiful in the eyes of the other.
2. A 50/50 man wants a woman who is independent and can stand on her own two feet. He doesn’t want to always be responsible for her, emotionally or financially, but expects her to be able to take care of herself. He wants “space” to live his own life, and he is more than happy to give her space to live hers. This results in a modern, 50/50 style of relationship, in which two independent people share a life together out of choice rather than neediness. Although better than a relationship of co-dependence or abuse, this 50/50 relationship soon begins to feel shallow and empty of passion, almost like a business relationship, although it is fair and safe.
3. A heart-true man doesn’t want a woman who depends on him. He also doesn’t want a woman who stands separate, heart-guarded, and independent. He wants a woman who has grown enough to surrender her boundaries of safety, allowing her heart to open and be absolutely ravished to its depth by love — sexually and in everyday life.
Although she can easily stand by herself, her heart yearns for more than the self-sufficiency she has achieved. Her enjoyment of heart-oneness is greater than her need for heart-safety. Her bliss in communion is greater than her need for deliberate communication. Her living art is to be free, surrendered open as her true power, the flow of infinite love.
Dependent neediness and independent self-responsibility were only stages on the way to this utter heart-fullness. She no longer needs a man’s love, and she no longer needs to give herself love, because now she is learning to open and live as love. She is learning to breathe love with every breath and offer love through every gesture. No longer waiting for a White Knight or her own success to save her, her artful practice is to live as a blessing force of love, with or without her man.
1. A me-man doesn’t like to be criticized. No matter what he is doing, he wants his woman’s support. Even if she has a good idea, he can’t receive it unless he convinces himself that it was his idea.
2. A 50/50 man respects his woman’s ideas and gives them as much weight as his own. If they disagree about something, he is very willing to meet her half way. This often results in a mutual compromise, so that neither partner lives true to their deepest heart desire, but at least they honor each other’s opinions.
3. A heart-true man knows that his life feels shallow unless he acts in alignment with his deepest purpose. He cherishes his woman’s criticism — he realizes that in many ways her intuition is far deeper than his own — but in the end he takes full responsibility for his decisions.
If his woman suggests something that changes his perspective, then he makes a new decision. But he never compromises his heart’s deepest truth in order to please his woman or “go along” with her. He knows that if he gives up his heart’s true decision to follow his woman’s, then he will blame her if she is wrong and feel disempowered if she is right, having denied himself the opportunity to act from his deep heart and grow from his mistakes. By listening carefully to his woman and then taking total responsibility for his actions, he is free to offer her love unencumbered by resentment.
THE MASCULINE MISSION
1. A me-man uses his woman to fill the voids of his life. When he is not working, watching TV, playing golf, or reading the newspaper, he is willing to “tolerate” his woman enough to get what he needs from her.
2. A 50/50 man is willing to spend time shopping and chatting with his woman, just as she is willing to watch football games and violent action movies with him. Sometimes he listens to her talking even though he is bored and uninterested. After all, he wants to be fair, and what she has to say is every bit as important as what he has to say. He is careful to set aside his current project and spend enough time with his woman so she doesn’t complain, even though deep down he may begin to resent her for distracting him from his sense of purpose.
3. A heart-true man’s priority is to open in love and give his deepest gift, just as he wants his woman to do, too. He doesn’t require that she sit through a violent movie if she has to close her heart to handle it, and he doesn’t want to be required to sit through a conversation if he has to fake his interest. Rather than blab about the day, there are times when he would rather sit in silence and gaze deeply into his woman’s eyes, or touch her with tenderness, or ravish her with loving passion.
A heart-true man wants to be with his woman without distraction, closure, or impatience. He spends his workday acting in alignment with his deepest purpose — financial, artistic, political, or spiritual — so that when he is with his woman he can offer his love undividedly and completely; he is with her wholeheartedly. She can receive his total presence, and he can receive her abundant radiance. He wants his woman to understand that even though she may be the most important person in his life, his life’s mission is not necessarily centered around, nor dependent on, their relationship.
1. A me-man wants to be nurtured by mommy and seduced by a vixen, so he expects his woman to cook, clean, and look sexy. To him, feminine radiance means nice cleavage, tight pants, and an alluring smile.
2. A 50/50 man wants his woman to share equally in all responsibilities. He’ll share with the cooking and cleaning as along as she carries her weight financially. He wants his lover to wield her masculine directionality while she smiles her feminine shine. He wants her to stay on schedule, meet her goals, and say exactly what she means while at the same time looking relaxed and radiant. She wonders, “How can he expect me to be an accountant, a word-warrior, and a goddess, all at the same time?” He wonders, “Why can’t a woman be more like a man?”
3. A heart-true man may do business with his woman, but he acknowledges that he isn’t with her for that reason; nor is he with her only for love, which he freely enjoys with his friends and entire family. He has uniquely chosen his woman to be his most intimate feminine source, the only person with whom he opens in full sexual expression and gifting.
A heart-true man understands that the most glorious feminine radiance is a gift borne of open heart, relaxed body, and fulfilled soul. Therefore, he does his best to create a sanctuary in which his woman’s love can bloom through a trusting heart, a blissful body, and a soul entered by his deep presence. Even if she is a corporate CEO, in their intimate time together he honors her deepest feminine desire, which is to open in love so fully, to surrender in trust so completely, that she is filled by the divine bliss that flows from her heart’s deepest chambers. He wants to open and surrender with her, so that her radiance bathes his life in glory as his presence swoons her naked soul in divine delight.
THE BOTTOM LINE
1. A me-man wants his woman to know how to bolster his self-image and pleasurize his body.
2. A 50/50 man wants his woman to know how to communicate clearly, stand independently, and be half-and-half, willing to change the car’s oil or remove the dead mouse from the trap and then wear lace and silk to bed.
3. A heart-true man wants his woman to know how to give her soul’s deepest gifts, and how to open her heart and body with him in a surrendered merger of unprotected fullness so they flow freely with, and dissolve in, the boundless love that is their heart’s deepest desire.
The Tantra attitude about sex is that sex is not a need. It is a cosmic experience, it is an experience of meditation. It is an instinctual return to our ultimate reality, one of the highest forms of meditation. In fifteen minutes to an hour or more of uninterrupted coitus, Tantra seeks a complete loss of the ego. Just see the difference. Freud says it is a gratification for the ego. And that’s how it has become, and Freud is not wrong. If you see the modern man, he is right. People go on making love just to prove that they are males or females, or what charming people they are, beautiful people they are. People go on finding new women, new men, just to prove that ‘I am still attractive.’ My observation of people is that they don’t fall in love. Read more...